[revenge is a disgusting thing. he started out split down the middle, with his father demanding and affirming that touya would be the greatest hero who ever lived, who would surpass all might and endeavor. over and over, you are my greatest success, filling him with his father's ambitions. and then one day, when those burns were still fresh on his little body, his father told him the truth: you can't. you're only a failure. stop trying. and abandoned him. he watched him try to replace him over and over. fuyumi. natsuo. more failures tossed to the wayside. and then little shouto. endeavor's ultimate success and the pride of his life. the final nail in touya's coffin for ever getting back his reason for living. his existence forfeit. a final last-ditch effort to show his father he really could be the pillar he wanted and forge that future and destiny endeavor engraved in him so hard touya never developed one of his own. that one lingering chance... his father never showed up. and touya died.
yeah. tell yourself that doesn't hurt. tell yourself that wouldn't drive anyone insane to have their reason for being extinguished. failure. useless. annoyance. worthless. LOOK AT ME!!
there's nothing left for him to care about. anything new that tries to press in meets the same flames within him. an azure domain that burns and burns and burns everything it touches to ash. cares. emotions. bonds. people. it's all gone inside. itadori'll hear about it on the fucking news because that's what dabi's good for: the sensation of revenge.
it's strange that yuji wants to reach into that hellish realm inside dabi and try to find something to grasp onto and save. hell, protect. but he'll only burn his hand black. they both want things, but at such a diametrically-opposing direction it's impossible to bring into alignment. and yet... there's weight inside itadori that dabi can almost feel. something damaged and hurting. it's not the thing inside him either; it's the kid himself. why else reach for a stranger? why else would a simple comment send him spiraling? simple, yeah. naive, definitely. stupid, of course. human? ... so very tenderly human.
dabi eyes him as he walks past, noting the surprise in his voice and expression as he passes. so eager to jump onto that pleasure all over again and forget the burdens inside. hmph. at least itadori still possesses the ability to be selfish. it's almost attractive.]
Uh-huh.
[the eldest todoroki son has his standards despite being willing to sleep with trash on the same level as dabi and even lower. he'll kick someone out or burn them up (the more likely) if they aren't worth an 'again' with him. itadori is worth more than one 'again' with him. whether it's meeting him for a meal or a fuck, there's something about him that dabi's silently caught. like a shining piece of unknown he can hold in his hand all for himself. not attached to any hero or villain, not involved(ish) with his life or ambitions, but instead a confusing, attractive, curious escape that dabi can't make any use of other than being able to selfishly keep all to his own.
he wants to do it again. wants to eat with him again. wants to see him again. you know, within limits. dabi's not a friendly guy even with the allies he's made in the league. still a lone wolf.
...did he just try to neaten his hair? swore he caught a glimpse of that in the mirror right out the corner of his eye. che, idiot. cute, but idiot. there's still things they have to deal with, but dabi's fine with that. keeping their lives and issues separate from each other leaves them able to focus only on the things generated between them. itadori didn't lose control tonight either and had sex. a big middle finger to whatever fears or blocks he had before keeping him from enjoying that part of life. another person dabi might say he corrupted, but itadori? ... tsk, the kid's so light all dabi can really say is that he managed to free him. in one little area. oh well. sometimes it just takes one rock to bring the house down.
he kicks his boxer briefs out of his pants and then up into the air, catching it in one hand before putting them back on. not really one to sleep in the buff, this is more comfortable. dabi's a bit surprised to see itadori returning with clean bedsheets. didn't expect that. but he accepts it silently and goes to tug the sheets of along with him, taking a moment prior to strip the blanket away before they got some of the mess on that. don't have to change everything.]
What kinda stuff?
[he's assuming lube and perhaps condoms, though it's not like they used one tonight and likely wouldn't use one in the future. maybe some cleaning wipes? he's assisting in changing the bedsheets and so mentally pictures itadori coming to the next meeting with clean sheets in a bag. wow. wouldn't that be like him... leaving the other guy to deal with making it all pretty, dabi heads to the window to slide a finger through the slats, just enough to open it and take a peek outside. as expected... nothing. could do with a smoke right now, but considering who he's with, hmph, guess he'll pass.
by the time he turns back around, itadori's done and dabi eyes him with a curious look at the clean-made bed and his partner sitting there like a little kid with a gentle smile. you really aren't someone who should be hanging around me... said that before and he still thinks it. too bad he knows now itadori's too stubborn to listen. leaving the window, dabi moves back to the bed and kneels on it, moving to just behind the other boy.
he catches him on the top of his head, fingers curled in his hair, and lightly--bur firmly--draws back, tilting itadori's head backwards. just enough he's left staring at the ceiling until dabi leans over him and kisses him upside down. there's the faintest trace and taste of smoke on his tongue, free hand cupping the sorcerer's throat.]
no subject
yeah. tell yourself that doesn't hurt. tell yourself that wouldn't drive anyone insane to have their reason for being extinguished. failure. useless. annoyance. worthless. LOOK AT ME!!
there's nothing left for him to care about. anything new that tries to press in meets the same flames within him. an azure domain that burns and burns and burns everything it touches to ash. cares. emotions. bonds. people. it's all gone inside. itadori'll hear about it on the fucking news because that's what dabi's good for: the sensation of revenge.
it's strange that yuji wants to reach into that hellish realm inside dabi and try to find something to grasp onto and save. hell, protect. but he'll only burn his hand black. they both want things, but at such a diametrically-opposing direction it's impossible to bring into alignment. and yet... there's weight inside itadori that dabi can almost feel. something damaged and hurting. it's not the thing inside him either; it's the kid himself. why else reach for a stranger? why else would a simple comment send him spiraling? simple, yeah. naive, definitely. stupid, of course. human? ... so very tenderly human.
dabi eyes him as he walks past, noting the surprise in his voice and expression as he passes. so eager to jump onto that pleasure all over again and forget the burdens inside. hmph. at least itadori still possesses the ability to be selfish. it's almost attractive.]
Uh-huh.
[the eldest todoroki son has his standards despite being willing to sleep with trash on the same level as dabi and even lower. he'll kick someone out or burn them up (the more likely) if they aren't worth an 'again' with him. itadori is worth more than one 'again' with him. whether it's meeting him for a meal or a fuck, there's something about him that dabi's silently caught. like a shining piece of unknown he can hold in his hand all for himself. not attached to any hero or villain, not involved(ish) with his life or ambitions, but instead a confusing, attractive, curious escape that dabi can't make any use of other than being able to selfishly keep all to his own.
he wants to do it again. wants to eat with him again. wants to see him again. you know, within limits. dabi's not a friendly guy even with the allies he's made in the league. still a lone wolf.
...did he just try to neaten his hair? swore he caught a glimpse of that in the mirror right out the corner of his eye. che, idiot. cute, but idiot. there's still things they have to deal with, but dabi's fine with that. keeping their lives and issues separate from each other leaves them able to focus only on the things generated between them. itadori didn't lose control tonight either and had sex. a big middle finger to whatever fears or blocks he had before keeping him from enjoying that part of life. another person dabi might say he corrupted, but itadori? ... tsk, the kid's so light all dabi can really say is that he managed to free him. in one little area. oh well. sometimes it just takes one rock to bring the house down.
he kicks his boxer briefs out of his pants and then up into the air, catching it in one hand before putting them back on. not really one to sleep in the buff, this is more comfortable. dabi's a bit surprised to see itadori returning with clean bedsheets. didn't expect that. but he accepts it silently and goes to tug the sheets of along with him, taking a moment prior to strip the blanket away before they got some of the mess on that. don't have to change everything.]
What kinda stuff?
[he's assuming lube and perhaps condoms, though it's not like they used one tonight and likely wouldn't use one in the future. maybe some cleaning wipes? he's assisting in changing the bedsheets and so mentally pictures itadori coming to the next meeting with clean sheets in a bag. wow. wouldn't that be like him... leaving the other guy to deal with making it all pretty, dabi heads to the window to slide a finger through the slats, just enough to open it and take a peek outside. as expected... nothing. could do with a smoke right now, but considering who he's with, hmph, guess he'll pass.
by the time he turns back around, itadori's done and dabi eyes him with a curious look at the clean-made bed and his partner sitting there like a little kid with a gentle smile. you really aren't someone who should be hanging around me... said that before and he still thinks it. too bad he knows now itadori's too stubborn to listen. leaving the window, dabi moves back to the bed and kneels on it, moving to just behind the other boy.
he catches him on the top of his head, fingers curled in his hair, and lightly--bur firmly--draws back, tilting itadori's head backwards. just enough he's left staring at the ceiling until dabi leans over him and kisses him upside down. there's the faintest trace and taste of smoke on his tongue, free hand cupping the sorcerer's throat.]
Ya really are impossible.