[it was irresponsible to be doing this. senseless, maybe. he really must be insane to be agreeing to this. yet, at the same time, perhaps it'd give him the closure he desperately needed. touya was no longer the same. just a shell of a broken, deranged man seeking out his own agenda.
before he meets in at their agreed location, natsuo tells himself to keep his emotions in check. this wasn't touya, he chants. just some villain. dabi. the guy who almost had him killed. not the same brother who would cry to him. natsuo hates how desperately he misses those moments, how he would give anything and everything just to go back and change things.
but that's ludicrous. no point in wishing on stars. at the very least, he was going to get a final word in, face to face with his oldest brother. there's a high chance of him dying, but dabi did promise to spare him so long as endeavor wasn't around to witness his death. deranged brat. well, he can promise he won't be bringing around their father. natsuo was still trying to avoid him. hell, he's been avoiding both their mom and fuyumi since he started communicating with dabi. he's positive they would stop him. but natsuo needed this, as absurd as that was.
funny enough, concerning death, natsuo can't say he really cares at the moment. most days now, it's like he's just sailing through them. it really took it's toll on his headspace upon hearing of his oldest brother's living status. speaking to him only made natsuo worst. yet, here he was, bundled up in a decent amount of clothes, hands shoved into his pockets. he's not entirely dressed up as warmly as most, but natsuo prefers the cold weather.
he waits impatiently at the edge of his college campus, dull eyes focused on the mouth of the alley. safely he stands by the car, not at all willing to meet the devil up close and personal just yet. he doesn't hear when dabi shows up, not until the flicking of blue flames light up, just enough on his brother's shoulder. in reaction, natsuo tenses up. he can't see dabi that well, but the light helps to show at least half his features. and his shorter height, compared to natsuo.]
And you, shorter than I expected.
[was shouto taller? they're pretty similar, but natsuo couldn't exactly tell. touya was still decently hidden away. and natsuo had no plans to become intimate with that blue fire.]
Shouldn't a hero be able to pick you up with one hand and lock you away?
[conversely, he gets to look one second after another at the man natsuo had become. grown taller than him, filled out with muscle, but having swallowed the pain and suffering from his past, pretending it could simply go away if he didn't pay any attention to it. that's another kind of insanity, isn't it.
you know, he told himself natsuo was nothing more than another playing piece. a bargaining chip to get endeavor to do something or a spear to drive through his father's chest and watch him bleed out under the suffering pain. he no longer was the natsuo he knew from his past, no longer the boy he cried to and held to for comfort. that person had grown tired of him and abandoned him like everyone else.
but now that he's here, watching his brother from the shadows of the alley... the memories come back. he hates them for coming back and he does his damnest to swallow them down, but they remain all the same. in that moment, he can feel natsuo's shoulder under his hand, shaking him a little to get him to wake up so he could talk to him. he hates his little brother... and his little brother hates him. nothing's changed.
dabi wants to kill him right now, but he knows he won't. endeavor needs to see.
but... his eyes take in the little details whether he wants them to or not. the small pair of bangs on natsuo's forehead, the way he's not bundled up as much as others would be because he likes the cold, his eyes trying to see more of him in the gloom of they alley. there's no point in hiding himself; natsuo saw the damage endeavor drove dabi's body to endure. the world saw it.]
Shut up.
[is that a hint of annoyance in his voice? no one else could tell, but natsuo could. he's the one closest to touya after all. it's annoying that he'd always been the runt, thanks to their damn mother cursing him with her weak body. even shouto's caught up to dabi in height and would only get taller.
but of course his little brother has to pick at that and the eldest todoroki sibling steps from the shadows. walking out into the cold air and dismissing the flame as the faint light catches him from the parking lot. walking towards natsuo, hands in his pocket and webbed coattails swaying behind him.]
A pile of ash can't do shit to me. [he meets his brother's eyes.] Ya wanna see me locked away, Natsuo?
[natsuo hates that he's nothing more than a bargaining piece for his oldest brother. they were always so close before. he also hates that he allowed touya to just...go up to those mountains, to set ablaze that forest and "die". he always did blame their father for it, couldn't forgive the man for turning touya into ash and dust.
but, the here and now, he despises what touya has become. he can't forgive endeavor exactly, yet touya is far from the brother he once knew. everything about this, the vengeance, the family drama being pulled to the public-it's a complete mess. his life is turned upside down, with random people and reporters coming up to question him about his life in the todoroki household.
behind all the terror due to the villains breaking out of prison, of course.
he wonders though, if touya ever thought about his old family, thought about him. his oldest brother is always on natsuo's mind, especially now, with his sudden appearance. he wants to believe his brother's earlier words though, that touya honestly missed him.
he doesn't allow his feelings to completely show yet, but it's hard to not keep the harmless glare to his eyes, or the way his fingers fidget in his pockets.
there's a snort of amusement though, at his brother's response to the tease. he can tell that it annoyed touya, but natsuo couldn't give two shits. of course, the middle todoroki son didn't want to be set on fire either. at least the flames extinguish. it doesn't cover how incredibly villainous touya appears though, with the way his shredded coat trails after him.
he's almost too mesmerized to not focus on those words, but natsuo quickly shakes his thoughts to the back of his mind.]
It has it's pluses and minuses. [he shrugs.] I would get to see you more without your fire to threaten my life.
[keep blaming endeavor for it. every pain and tragedy their family's had to endure is entirely his fault. from touya's death to fuyumi and natsuo's abandonment to shouto's previously-frozen heart, everything is all because of endeavor. their mother's mental state and hospitalization and even the tell-all video from dabi wouldn't have happened if endeavor hadn't been the man he was.
he has no intention of letting any of them forget that. hell, he'll brand it on the fucking world until endeavor can't open his eyes without seeing "your fault" emblazoned on everything he sees.
dabi's more than aware his younger brother hates what's before him right now. his eyes are frosted with it. a villain obsessed with revenge and damaged beyond repair, refusing to heal but instead twisting in his pain and rage and dragging everyone else into he maelstrom for his own sadistic pleasure. he's not the little boy who cried to his younger brother at night and clung to him for support and love.
he's a fucking wreck and natsuo has ever right to hate him. so long as he hates endeavor more and understands their father is wholly responsible for dabi's path.
but... the sad answer is "yes". he has thought about his old family. most of it's disgust and hatred, dark plots to use them against endeavor, callous dismissal over their safety. but there are rare moments deep in the night when the pieces of his raw flesh that haven't yet been charred black reach back for those memories. shouto he hates regardless. fuyumi he doesn't really care about. their mother, he dismisses.
natsuo...
dabi doesn't flinch under that benign glare affixed on him. natsuo couldn't hurt him if he wanted to. he stops outside the door to the car, letting his brother keep it between them as a shield while he stays by the hood of the car. he doesn't miss the little amused noise from his sibling and gives him a wry glare in response for it. of course natsuo can tell the petty little sibling tease annoys him. prick.
his little brother looks so... clean. free of scars, healthy, tall and strong, a faint scent of fresh chill breeze drifting from him. the kind of pure glacier water to slake all thirst. that comfort once again... such a counterpoint to the blackened remains in front of him. dabi wonders if his brother's already regretting agreeing to this, having to see what's become of him up close.]
Stuck in a cell, chained and wrapped behind glass, all dressed up in straight jacket and suppression cuffs.
[he sounds nonplussed about it, even if the thought's abysmal.]
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no subject
before he meets in at their agreed location, natsuo tells himself to keep his emotions in check. this wasn't touya, he chants. just some villain. dabi. the guy who almost had him killed. not the same brother who would cry to him. natsuo hates how desperately he misses those moments, how he would give anything and everything just to go back and change things.
but that's ludicrous. no point in wishing on stars. at the very least, he was going to get a final word in, face to face with his oldest brother. there's a high chance of him dying, but dabi did promise to spare him so long as endeavor wasn't around to witness his death. deranged brat. well, he can promise he won't be bringing around their father. natsuo was still trying to avoid him. hell, he's been avoiding both their mom and fuyumi since he started communicating with dabi. he's positive they would stop him. but natsuo needed this, as absurd as that was.
funny enough, concerning death, natsuo can't say he really cares at the moment. most days now, it's like he's just sailing through them. it really took it's toll on his headspace upon hearing of his oldest brother's living status. speaking to him only made natsuo worst. yet, here he was, bundled up in a decent amount of clothes, hands shoved into his pockets. he's not entirely dressed up as warmly as most, but natsuo prefers the cold weather.
he waits impatiently at the edge of his college campus, dull eyes focused on the mouth of the alley. safely he stands by the car, not at all willing to meet the devil up close and personal just yet. he doesn't hear when dabi shows up, not until the flicking of blue flames light up, just enough on his brother's shoulder. in reaction, natsuo tenses up. he can't see dabi that well, but the light helps to show at least half his features. and his shorter height, compared to natsuo.]
And you, shorter than I expected.
[was shouto taller? they're pretty similar, but natsuo couldn't exactly tell. touya was still decently hidden away. and natsuo had no plans to become intimate with that blue fire.]
Shouldn't a hero be able to pick you up with one hand and lock you away?
no subject
you know, he told himself natsuo was nothing more than another playing piece. a bargaining chip to get endeavor to do something or a spear to drive through his father's chest and watch him bleed out under the suffering pain. he no longer was the natsuo he knew from his past, no longer the boy he cried to and held to for comfort. that person had grown tired of him and abandoned him like everyone else.
but now that he's here, watching his brother from the shadows of the alley... the memories come back. he hates them for coming back and he does his damnest to swallow them down, but they remain all the same. in that moment, he can feel natsuo's shoulder under his hand, shaking him a little to get him to wake up so he could talk to him. he hates his little brother... and his little brother hates him. nothing's changed.
dabi wants to kill him right now, but he knows he won't. endeavor needs to see.
but... his eyes take in the little details whether he wants them to or not. the small pair of bangs on natsuo's forehead, the way he's not bundled up as much as others would be because he likes the cold, his eyes trying to see more of him in the gloom of they alley. there's no point in hiding himself; natsuo saw the damage endeavor drove dabi's body to endure. the world saw it.]
Shut up.
[is that a hint of annoyance in his voice? no one else could tell, but natsuo could. he's the one closest to touya after all. it's annoying that he'd always been the runt, thanks to their damn mother cursing him with her weak body. even shouto's caught up to dabi in height and would only get taller.
but of course his little brother has to pick at that and the eldest todoroki sibling steps from the shadows. walking out into the cold air and dismissing the flame as the faint light catches him from the parking lot. walking towards natsuo, hands in his pocket and webbed coattails swaying behind him.]
A pile of ash can't do shit to me. [he meets his brother's eyes.] Ya wanna see me locked away, Natsuo?
no subject
but, the here and now, he despises what touya has become. he can't forgive endeavor exactly, yet touya is far from the brother he once knew. everything about this, the vengeance, the family drama being pulled to the public-it's a complete mess. his life is turned upside down, with random people and reporters coming up to question him about his life in the todoroki household.
behind all the terror due to the villains breaking out of prison, of course.
he wonders though, if touya ever thought about his old family, thought about him. his oldest brother is always on natsuo's mind, especially now, with his sudden appearance. he wants to believe his brother's earlier words though, that touya honestly missed him.
he doesn't allow his feelings to completely show yet, but it's hard to not keep the harmless glare to his eyes, or the way his fingers fidget in his pockets.
there's a snort of amusement though, at his brother's response to the tease. he can tell that it annoyed touya, but natsuo couldn't give two shits. of course, the middle todoroki son didn't want to be set on fire either. at least the flames extinguish. it doesn't cover how incredibly villainous touya appears though, with the way his shredded coat trails after him.
he's almost too mesmerized to not focus on those words, but natsuo quickly shakes his thoughts to the back of his mind.]
It has it's pluses and minuses. [he shrugs.] I would get to see you more without your fire to threaten my life.
no subject
he has no intention of letting any of them forget that. hell, he'll brand it on the fucking world until endeavor can't open his eyes without seeing "your fault" emblazoned on everything he sees.
dabi's more than aware his younger brother hates what's before him right now. his eyes are frosted with it. a villain obsessed with revenge and damaged beyond repair, refusing to heal but instead twisting in his pain and rage and dragging everyone else into he maelstrom for his own sadistic pleasure. he's not the little boy who cried to his younger brother at night and clung to him for support and love.
he's a fucking wreck and natsuo has ever right to hate him. so long as he hates endeavor more and understands their father is wholly responsible for dabi's path.
but... the sad answer is "yes". he has thought about his old family. most of it's disgust and hatred, dark plots to use them against endeavor, callous dismissal over their safety. but there are rare moments deep in the night when the pieces of his raw flesh that haven't yet been charred black reach back for those memories. shouto he hates regardless. fuyumi he doesn't really care about. their mother, he dismisses.
natsuo...
dabi doesn't flinch under that benign glare affixed on him. natsuo couldn't hurt him if he wanted to. he stops outside the door to the car, letting his brother keep it between them as a shield while he stays by the hood of the car. he doesn't miss the little amused noise from his sibling and gives him a wry glare in response for it. of course natsuo can tell the petty little sibling tease annoys him. prick.
his little brother looks so... clean. free of scars, healthy, tall and strong, a faint scent of fresh chill breeze drifting from him. the kind of pure glacier water to slake all thirst. that comfort once again... such a counterpoint to the blackened remains in front of him. dabi wonders if his brother's already regretting agreeing to this, having to see what's become of him up close.]
Stuck in a cell, chained and wrapped behind glass, all dressed up in straight jacket and suppression cuffs.
[he sounds nonplussed about it, even if the thought's abysmal.]
How often do ya think you'd come look at me?