burnitblack | Deer Country In-Box

[ Are you? You see challenges where there are none. Your every motivation stems from the same source. So, are you free?

It was my fault. For seeing something that wasn't there to begin with. ]

You killed someone out of pettiness.

[don't ask him that question.

ever.

that's the issue. shouto still has hope. touya lost all of his a long time ago. all he has now is desperation and hate.]

Before ya go further, lemme ask ya somethin.

[this time, touya sits up and leans forward, arms dangling over his knees and looking at his omen with a cold, focused gaze.]

Didja give Bakugou shit for tryin to kill me earlier?

[ It wasn't so long ago that he thought like you. Not the same degree, but the path he was walking lay in a similar direction. Newfound hope is a recent occurrence, one he's still trying to figure out for himself. ]

I know why he tried to kill you. The same way, I know why you tried to kill him.

What I don't understand is why you killed that woman. She had nothing to do with it.

[ Collateral damage. It implies so much more than simple revenge. If he was willing to kill an innocent bystander, what else was he willing to do? Collateral damage in the form of lives isn't something he'll ever be able to accept. Not from anyone. ]

Edited 2022-11-07 06:13 (UTC)

[it's easier when you don't try to figure that shit out. this path is the one laid before him, and the one he's running down in a mad frenzy towards the raging hell of a culmination.

well, not here. here, it's all stopped.]

To make him stay and fight.

[touya pushes himself up from the couch, momentarily leaving view until his omen turns to follow him.]

Heroes always try to protect. It makes them predictable. I don't like it when people try to think for me, or decide what I'm gonna do. If he hadn't tried to run away and move the fight, assuming I'd chase him like some dog, then he would've been close enough to save her. Too bad for him. He wasn't smart enough to figure that out, or fast enough to stop me.

[yeah, collateral, but deliberate collateral. he would've left her alone if his opponent had focused entirely on him. but instead, bakugou split his attention to other people, when he should've been watching touya the entire time.

hawks made the same mistake and paid for it.]

Do ya hate me now, Todoroki Shouto?

[ His fingers grip the sheets of the futon he's sitting on. Hearing him rationalize the irrational is too reminiscent of his childhood. Maybe that's why his throat grows tight with emotions that threaten to overwhelm him.

Fire and ice churn in his chest, melting and freezing a war-torn heart. He doesn't care about heroes. Doesn't he understand that? He doesn't care about villains. He just - his eyes water - he cares about you.

Tears fall in an empty room.

No more than a handful, but it's enough to clog his throat, making it impossible to answer. How-- How did he think that he could-- His mouth opens as if he means to speak, but only a cold mist comes out, and with it, the room drops in temperature. Cold, the pain recedes, and he's able to speak without breaking apart. ]

... No.

Edited 2022-11-08 03:19 (UTC)

[it's the quiet that catches him. the sound of a throat sticking to itself. he remembers that sound, once or twice in his childhood, when he was close enough to hear it sniveling on the other side of a closed door. he also remembers making it himself, trapped in the quiet of the night, abandoned by natsuo, misunderstood by fuyumi, and replaced by shouto. with a mother who saw him as a troublesome chore, and a father who hated his very existence.

bastard. flaunting his ability to cry right in front of him. technically behind him, but... semantics.]

Ya really are crazy.

[of course he wouldn't hate him. heroes aren't supposed to hate someone. even if they say it, they don't understand what it means to truly hate someone. that black, bitter desire to relish in the target's complete misery and abject degradation until there's nothing left of them. heroes who hate, truly hate, are no longer heroes.]

Mah, who knows. [touya shrugs, rubbing the back of his head with one hand.] Maybe one day I'll end up savin him.

[just because he hates heroes doesn't mean he doesn't know how to "be" one.]

[ The cold spreads. It starts in his chest and blooms out in all directions. Soon, his fingers lose their grip on the sheets and the agony in his chest recedes amid the crackling ice. His heartbeat slows along with his breathing, but it's familiar, comforting even, to be embraced by a winter storm. It helps open up his throat enough to speak, no longer clogged by emotions that render him useless. ]

I don't hate you.

[ You see, he also learned how not to feel. That was the thing that Endeavor taught him. The gift his mother left him with. A way to hold back the firestorm raging through him until he snuffed it out completely. Endeavor was livid when he stopped using his fire. Shouto couldn't even feel happy about it. The same way he couldn't feel happy about his brother killing his friends and innocent bystanders. ]

... But I can't accept you killing my friends either or innocent victims.

[ His line in the sand. ]

Edited 2022-11-08 04:51 (UTC)

[touya glances over his shoulder at the cold that could almost be felt radiating through the shared image. so the little puppet was icing himself over. feelings are a bitch, aren't they.

whether it's simply a survival tactic, an outward expression of his feelings, or a veiled threat, touya waives it off. after all, the cold never bothered him.]

You think I give a damn about being 'accepted'?

[and he's killed so many people already.]

I don't know what you care about.

[ And that's the problem. One he's barely beginning to figure out. ]

Yeah you do. Ya just don't like to think about it.

[it's not a problem. it's easy. touya's not hiding it (anymore).

only, he can't really do much about it / with it here.]

You care about Endeavor.

[ He can be candid too. ]

Uh-huh.

[in an extremely negative version of "caring".]

Is that all you care about?

does it look like i've got anythin else, mr. hero?

You have your friends.

[ He knows for a fact that Touga considers you a friend and Shigaraki wouldn't have tried to shake him down if he didn't care about you too. So, don't you dare tell him you've got nothing else! Idiot! ]

If that's what ya wanna call them.

[it's not important enough to argue shouto's rose-colored lenses.]

That's what they called you.

[ More or less. ]

They can do what they want.

[doesn't make it true on his part.]

What do you want?

Stop askin stupid questions ya know the answer to, Shouto.

Aside from Endeavor.

I don't think about that kinda crap.

[it's pointless.]

You should.

I want to know what it is you want too.

I don't let anyone tell me what I should do.

I'm done with that life.

Is that something you want or something you have?

Deer Country In-Box

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love that icon

thanks! i saw it and had to ask someone to make an icon out of it for me~ dramatic fucker

It's so good! I just kept looking at the flapping cape! Almost like a hero Cape!!! XD

his edgy spider web coat. flapping in the breeze.

omfg frozen reference! and you expect me to take this seriously!!! i even sang it in my head!

good! it needed some lightening~

;_; made me laugh despite the pain

oh~ you chortle while you choke ~ lah la la lah la la laaah

............... that is a horrible reference!!!

enjoy it forever

;_;

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