he doesn't want to see other people right now; the last people he saw had been mean to him. another one of those tests to try and get him to up his physical limitations. he knows he's not built as strong as the other kids, he's shorter than them, frailer, and his body hurts when he uses his quirk too long. those people are the ones who make it happen, telling him to get stronger, burn hotter for longer. it hurts.
makes him want to lash out... but he's too tired for that right now. it's easier to curl up on the bed and try to shut the pain out. would've too if this weirdo hadn't showed up. dabi doesn't break his eye contact, however, watching him with a guarded expression, though there's something hopeful in his gaze. wondering if this interaction won't end up as bad as the others have been today. plus...
"Your eyes are wet..." the other kid looks like he's been crying.
hawks. something about the name meshes well with the way the guy chirps like that. plus those little red wings. maybe his codename's cause of them, right? dabi's eyes swing towards the bed when pointed to it, frowning a little. oh... so now he has a roommate? he'd been kept in solitary since getting here, upon order of his father, but apparently that's changing today.
"The floor's dirty." his father wouldn't want him to be rolling around on the ground under the bed. "Can't you just put blankets over your head instead?" that sounds more like the logical course of action if you want it to get dark...
The mention of his eyes has Hawks reaching up, rubbing at them with the back of his sleeve. "Yeah," he replies as he drops his hand back to his side, "sometimes they want to test my eyesight and it starts to hurt after a while." With eyesight as sharp as his, it doesn't take much to cross the line from uncomfortable to painful. It's not something he enjoys having to do, but he just reminds himself that it could be worse. And that he's doing this for his mom.
He twists slightly to glance back at his bed before returning his attention to Dabi. Head tilting curiously, one brow goes up slowly at the comment about the floor being dirty.
"A little." One shoulder rises and falls in a shrug. "If we lay down together, it'll be too hot for you under a blanket." He pauses briefly to glance towards his wings and the way the red feathers are slight trembling just the slightest, nerves on edge from the constant overstimulation throughout the day. He nearly comments about the discomfort of his wings, how the blanket might just add to it. But he catches himself and says instead, "but we can do that, if you want. I don't mind." It's okay, as long as Dabi feels better, he thinks.
yeah, but i don't have it on dabi's journal yet. bah, need to get that up there...
dabi frowns at him for the response before drifting off into some silence. he'd been scared, but excited and determined when he arrived here. however, after the training and testing he received today, his attitude's been tempered with frustration at the pain and the disappointment the testers showed at his progress. while his quirk continues to improve, his physical prowess remains less than satisfactory.
"i know," he grumbles, rubbing at his upper arm. "they keep making me lift weights and do obstacle courses... i'm not good at them." the last part is almost a pout, mentally berating himself for not being able to do what his father wants. it makes him feel like a failure.
he follows hawks' glance towards the bed and floor and he wrinkles his noise at the idea even without being prompted to do that again. "if you're cold, wouldn't hot be good?" dabi points a small hand at hawks' wings, indicating the red appendages shivering in the air behind him. "we don't have to be smushed together." even pressing his hands together to indicate "smushed" to the other boy. because obviously he needs the visual.
Obstacle courses and weights... It's doesn't sound like fun, and Hawks makes as much known by the way his face scrunches up slightly. He thinks Dabi probably shares the sentiment in a way that's more than 'not being good at them'. But he doesn't press that issue.
Instead, he focuses on the question. The golden eyes blink curiously at the question. It takes a second for him to realize where the assumption comes from, and he glances over towards the red wings briefly. He can still feel them trembling, and it looks like the other boy hasn't missed it either. But he doesn't correct him. This isn't about him, it's about making the other boy comfortable and less... miserable. "Yeah, that's true."
The gesture makes him blink curiously, and then he smiles with a short laugh.
Instead of responding, he moves slowly, perching one hand and knee on the edge of the bed. He pauses there waiting for Dabi to tell him it's okay to move closer.
It's not fun. He'd rather work on his Quirk, because that's his strong point. Dabi notices the way Hawks' face crimps like that and he gives a little snort in agreement. Not fun at all. He gets tangled in the ropes or struggles with the weights, can't make the turns as sharply or easily as the others. But on the flip side, if he does Quirk training after the physical, his fire gets even hotter...
Dabi's expression flattens a bit when it looks like Hawks doesn't get what he's referring to. But then he picks up on it and looks and Dabi gives an eyebrow motion that more or less pouts "see, told you" at him. "Why lie on the floor where it's cold and dark when you're already shivering from it? That's stupid." Blunt, but true.
So the invite into the bed still stands and Dabi scoots to the side when Hawks moves onto the edge. He has to tug the blanket a little so the other boy doesn't end up crawling on top of it. "C'mon. I said you could." He's not getting any warmer hanging out on the rim of the bed.
Hawks understands the sentiment - he'd rather use his wings and train with his quirk than do what the other boy is describing. He's not sure if it's something he'll have to do, but it's hard to guess what anyone wants from him here. He thinks (hopes) it'll be easier with Dabi.
He waits, quiet and careful, as the blanket is tugged. And a part of him tells him this might not be a good idea. That it's safer to be alone in his own bed than with someone he barely knows. But Dabi's words have him moving.
The bed dips the slightest with his weight as he moves across the surface and towards the space besides Dabi, and he hesitates only for a second as he eyes the space between them. He's careful in the way he lays down, and maybe it's obvious in how watchful and careful he is that being this close to someone is strange to him. His wings press slightly into the wall behind them, and there's the softest shuffle as they arrange themselves more comfortably.
"You're really warm." He notes after a moment, feeling the heat that comes off the other this close. "It's nice."
Far as Dabi knows, it’s all part of the program. Quirk training, physical training, academics are gonna get thrown in there soon enough. All to raise them to be what they’re determined to be. He wants to succeed, to become the person his father’s ambitions can rest securely within. That’s why each failure, each disappointment, eats him inside.
Maybe it’s safer? But the other boy’s cold and he’s offering a warm bed. Wouldn’t that be the better option? Dabi blinks at him, wondering in his head why there’s hesitation (and still not sure if sleeping on the floor under the bed is a better option, hiding from the lights being the exceptional reason). They have a blanket though, so that works?
Did Hawks bring his blanket with him? Is it still on the other boy’s bed? They could have two… even thought Dabi doesn’t really use his too much, more out of the sensation of it covering him than a need for warmth. As Hawks settles beside him, the boy drops the blanket over them, lying on his side and keeping the blonde boy between him and the wall. Maybe it’ll be warmer? But the wall’s probably cold…oh well, they’ll warm up. Everyone said Dabi was warm and he leans in to rest beside Hawks. New friend… how neat. “Are they soft?” Noticing Hawks’ wings. Everything's hard here...
For Hawks, he just knows he can't fail - to make sure he can stay here and keep his mom safe and taken care of. He doesn't want her to be on the streets, living like a criminal now that his old man is out of the picture. It doesn't have the same weight that disappointment from your father comes with does, but he understands that sentiment of wanting to succeed to please someone else.
He watches as Dabi settles close to him, shifting just the slightest under the blanket. Between the warmth that pours off the other and the weight of the blanket, he feels... comfortable. Safe. It's a strange feeling, one he doesn't think he's properly had as long as he can remember. But he likes it. The small smile that curves his lips says as much as he takes in those blue eyes.
"Soft?" The question makes him blink, and he turns his head briefly to look over his shoulder at one of the small wings. "Yeah. Do you want to touch them?" One hand moves, adjusting the blanket enough that one of the red wings can stretch over his arm and towards Dabi for the other boy to touch. It's not something he can say he's ever given people the chance to do, so it'll be a new experience. But maybe, he thinks, if they can share things like this, they can be friends. He's never had friends before.
i have zero icons for this. have his shit face instead.
His father said he could become the greatest hero to ever live, had told him that was the pinnacle of his existence, and he believed it, wanted it so badly. Because that's why he had his Quirk, the strongest one there was. Even stronger than his father's! He'd become that burning star everyone looked up to. To be the greatest, so he'd never disappoint anyone. His father, his mother, his little sister. He'd be the greatest for them and all the rest of the world, no matter what he went through in here to get there.
Dabi thought about asking if Hawks wanted to put the covers over their heads. That'd keep everything nice and dark for him. But he doesn't say anything about it, so Dabi doesn't either. Feels a little weird (he hasn't had anyone in his bed since for a while cause he was a big boy now) but it's not uncomfortable. Especially since he'd been alone in his room for a while. Hawks' smile earns one from Dabi as well.
"Yeah, they look real fluffy." Not like a cloud but... a feather pillow? He blinks at the offer, and then reaches a hand over to the offered wing, eyes wide and mouth hanging open a bit in a curious "ooh" expression. Small fingers touch the red offering, wandering his hand through them a few times. He's careful, treating it like fragile reverence. "Wow... they are soft." A big smile. "It's so cool~"
Slowly, Hawks can feel himself start to relax. While everyone else here is always so harsh and violent, Dabi feels different already. And there's no tingle in his wings that tells him something is wrong. And that smile Dabi returns? It helps a lot.
"Yeah, they're pretty fluffy!" He agrees. His gaze is drawn to Dabi's face and then the hand as he reaches to touch his wings. Dabi isn't the first person to touch them, but the way he does is... different. It feels nice. Like Dabi enjoys them instead of wants to study them. Those small touches make him shiver, happy and content under the attention, and he smiles wider. "I'm glad you like them!"
Slowly, his wing folds back into place, and he readjusts the blanket over them. He's quiet for a moment before he says, quietly, "we can be friends, right?" That's how this works, right? He's never done it before.
Dabi moves his fingers a little further in, still keeping care not to dislodge or pluck any. Getting to trace the quill is really interesting, where it connects, and the feathers' plumes along the thinning spine. He's seen birds before, but never touched any, so getting to actually feel feathers is... amazing.
He glances up at the shiver. "Are-?" Oh... no it doesn't seem like he's cold. Still scoots over a little closer just in case, and so Hawks doesn't have to stretch his wing too far. Enough their knees clunk and he pauses, not sure if he should be this close. He has a fire Quirk after all and he runs warmer...
"They're really cool," he murmurs, innocently letting his hand fall on Hawks' side as the red wing draws away from his touch. The blanket drawn over them comforts him as well and he settles in close to the other boy, eyes lidding at the sensation. "Yeah. I never had friends before..." Always kept at the house with his parents. Just his little sister, but she wasn't here.
The attention Dabi gives him is new but welcome, and Hawks is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He hums softly, pleased, even as their knees touch. With Dabi scooting closer, he feels even warmer, enough that he isn't sure if they need a blanket anymore. But this is... really nice. He doesn't want to change anything about it. Not the heat Dabi gives off or the warm weight of the hand on his side.
And the compliment? It only makes him beam at the other boy. He's never been given attention like this before, and he hopes it doesn't have to stop.
"Me either," he admits once Dabi mentions never having friends. The confirmation makes his expression soften, and he nods with a small laugh. "Friends." He moves his hand enough to tug the blanket a bit higher before he squirms a bit closer.
"We should sleep soon. But I'll be here when you wake up, okay? I promise."
For Dabi, the idea of having a friend for the first time is exciting, a little scary, and somewhat unreal, but he doesn't want to lose the chance of this at all. Scooting closer to Hawks is a way of ensuring that, a knee bumped against his so they can be touching. He doesn't need a blanket, but still gets the sheet so they at least have some covering? That's comfortable. Same as feeling Hawks' breathing under his hand.
What a bright smile! Dabi grins back, a little boyish giggle coming out. Compliments are fun if they get a reaction like that. Hawks' smile reminds him of a sunny day.
The blanket snuggles around their shoulders and when Hawks gets closer, Dabi slots a leg between his to spread the warmth, arm slipping more down the other boy's back to rest in a lazy drape. Almost sharing a pillow now, but he doesn't mind. It feels better, safer.
Hearing Hawks agree to 'friends' makes his happier than he's ever recalled being. "Okay. I promise too. Promise promise." Because that's stronger than a single promise. He wants to stay up and play with his friend, talk about things, but knows they have another day tomorrow and have to be rested for it.
"Promise promise!" Is one of the last things Hawks says before he lets himself drift off, practically purring in content from the other boy's attention and the warmth he can feel surrounding him.
They spend a lot of time together like this as the days roll into months and then years. Close when they're awake and even closer when they go to sleep. It's comfortable and pleasant, and Hawks finds himself thinking getting ready for bed and going to sleep are some of his favorite times of the day. No one else quite makes him feel the way Dabi does.
It doesn't take long for Hawks to stop calling Touya by the name Dabi, either. When they're alone, he calls the other boy by his name. It's a way Hawks tries to make Touya feel more like a person and less like just someone with a quirk. Because to Hawks, Touya has quickly become the most important person he has, and the way he sees the people in this place treat Touya never sits well with him. It's why he makes sure, no matter what, that he always tells the other how proud of him he is, how much he cares about him, how much faith he has in what he can do. And he means every word. Touya doesn't have to be the best or show off with his quirk to be perfect to Hawks. Sometimes, he knows Touya doesn't approve, doesn't believe him. But that never stops him from saying it, especially when they're alone, wrapped around one another in one of their beds.
It's a sad realization for Hawks that Touya doesn't have much of a future in this place. It makes him wonder if he'll be able to stay, how much longer they have together, because the last thing he wants it to lose Touya. It's enough that sometimes Hawks wonders if they could find a way to leave this place together - make a life for both of them that doesn't rely on their quirks. They could be happy together then, right? It's a thought he has often, one he hopes can come true one day, but he's never quite brought it up to Touya. Too worried Touya would reject the idea. Might not want a life with Hawks outside this place. And the idea of Touya not wanting to be with him? Hurts Hawks more than anything else.
It's a surprise one morning when Hawks, barely 15 now, is woken up well before the sun rises, dragged off for some surprise training. He puts on his flight suit and visor while trying to eat a protein bar they shove at him, listening to what he's being told. He'll go on his first long flight today - a journey that will a day to get there and a day to get back at his fastest and without obstacles. But the way they talk about it tells Hawks there will be more to it. It'll be a challenge, one he might not come back from if he isn't careful. And he hardens himself to that thought. He will come back. For Touya.
When he takes off, the flight to the first checkpoint is quick and easy. All that's there is food and water and a small box he's supposed to retrieve. The trip to the second checkpoint is undisturbed, but his arrival there met with a flurry of ranged attacks he has to hurry and dodge. It takes some work to get to the small box there, but he manages and takes off quickly. There are a few scratches across his arms and legs from shots that were too close to comfort, but they're barely bleeding and aren't that deep by the time he takes off again. And the journey to the third checkpoint? It's a nightmare. Random attacks, loud sounds and bright lights that narrowly miss taking him out entirely. But it's just the thought of getting home and seeing Touya that keeps him fighting. Doing his best to make it to the final checkpoint so he can rest and head back.
The journey back after the last checkpoint is longer. His body is exhausted, his head is pounding, and the surprise attacks don't cease. By the time he makes it back on the third day, he's a mess. A scratch across his cheek that's bleeding slowly, some of the feathers are on one of his wings are charred, there are various scuffs and bruises across his body. The worst injury is one across his side, deep enough that their keepers force him to clean up so they can hurriedly stitch it closed. The rest of his injuries are his own to handle like they often are. He takes the first aid kit they shove at him and follows them quietly back to his room.
When they push him inside and close and lock the door behind him, all Hawks wants to do is collapse on the ground and sleep. But what staves off his exhaustion for just a moment is the sight of Touya in the room. He brightens, wings fluffing up at just the sight of the other.
"Hey, Tou." He greets happily, taking a few shuffling steps forward to drop onto the edge of the bed the other boy is sitting on. "Long time no see." As if he hadn't been gone for three days.
Endeavor never let him have friends when he was growing up. Staying in the house, living with his mother and little sister. It wasn't a bad time? Endeavor was attentive even if firm. Hard to say he was "kind", but he never treated them badly. What bothered him most was this air of "expectation" and "impatience" that hung around the man when he interacted with his son. Only when Touya turned 5 and his Quirk manifested did those mysteries get answered and the facade of a decent father come crashing down. Throughout the year, those ambitions and pressures were made firmly clear to him, pressed into this government course to become the perfect hero Endeavor couldn't. Initially afraid and confused, time passed as Touya learned what was expected of him, learned his father's hopes and ambitions for him remained even if he was separated from him in these walls. Together with that, and with the support and friendship of that winged ball of sunshine that as Hawks, Dabi found his stride and moved towards this new life with purpose.
He quickly made friends with the other boy, a strange thing because he never had a friend before and wasn't quite sure how to "do" friends at first? But fast learned the more time they spent together. Getting Hawks as his roommate was so much fun soon enough! Despite his exhaustion from the grueling training, Touya could come back and Hawks- no, Keigo, was there to meet him with a smile. He made sure to start calling Keigo by his real name, a small sign of rebellion against their maintainers. (It was kind of fun, doing that.) The notion of treating him like a person instead of a weapon. Between the classes, training, exercises, and everything else, Touya came to rely on his friend as an anchor in this place. An important person he cherished and valued above everyone else. They met other kids, met other retainers, other heroes, even a villain or two, but no one connected with the eldest Todoroki like Keigo did. The approval and encouragement, validation and pride that comes from him, they're things he latches onto and holds tightly to, never failing to give similar compliments back. Keigo's work was always amazing, to the point Touya could be "rewarded" by letting him come watch his friend go through his routines. Knowing they'd go forward together and reach that peak.
Until the day came that they wouldn't. The burns started. The scent of smoking flesh. Angry red patches on his body. He reacted the same way a child would, complaining of the pain and not knowing what was happening. Doctors came in to look at him, comparing his genetics, and quickly found out the truth: Touya's Quirk was incompatible with his physical body. Resistance to cold temperatures, not hot, his premature birth compounding his growth, making him physically weaker, a frailer constitution that would leave him more lanky than athletic... Dabi's Quirk would eat him alive the more he pushed it. Despite Endeavor and Touya's stunned disbelief, followed by a father-son rage about how that had to be wrong, because Dabi would be the greatest hero... the verdict was passed.
Todoroki Touya was labeled a failure. For his own safety, he was to be removed from the program. Of course they acknowledged his Quirk was stronger than Endeavor's own, flames more powerful, hotter and stronger, than his father's, but that would only serve to cripple him even more as time went on. He would never become a hero. Best to give up and return home to find a new path in life. Of course Touya refused. But so did Endeavor. Not a refusal to his son becoming a hero, but a refusal to let the failure come home. Told them to keep him at the facility and make what use of him they wanted. Endeavor had no use for a failed experiment.
Things changed afterwards. Returning to Hawks, Dabi didn't say a word, only crawled into bed, balled up, and cried his eyes out. More days passed, of course Keigo learned about what happened. When one of the brightest stars of prominence plunges from the sky and crashes into the ocean of reality, it's not a secret. With nowhere else to go, the one person in the facility who took more interest in Touya than anyone else stepped in and took him aside for a week. Alone, away from the rest. Talked to him, tested him, actually put in some work to see what could be milked from a failure. Even if Endeavor had no use for him, this man knew someone who could... A week later, the inspector returned with Dabi and set him aside on a special program. There was no assured future for him. Any day could be his last. But so long as he continued to at least strengthen his Quirk, then he could stay.
No longer completing the courses other heroes in training did. No longer in the limelight he'd enjoyed those first months. Word got out about his condition and people avoided him, not wanting to associate with a failure, or wondering if he was going to burst into flame at any moment. But through it all, Hawks stayed with him... Though Touya's attitude turned sour and bitter, desperate to try and cling onto the path his father had set him on, he remained solely tethered to the winged hero who stood by his side. Even if he didn't believe those kind words very much anymore. Encouraging Touya to continue was the same as encouraging him to hurt himself, or worse. They couldn't be as close as they had before, with the other boy coming in to sleep with Hawks, but often with bandages on his body to cover the burns, ointment and numbing topical spreads, making those longed-for nights when he could be all wrapped up by his best friend all the more difficult to lose.
And then, three days ago... when Hawks left. No word. No reason. Just after his 15th birthday, when he and Dabi got to be the same age for barely a month before Dabi's biological calendar flipped in January. Cold, icy, snow, gales... His burns had gotten worse, constant medical care was his life. But his Quirk had just gone through a mutation along with Touya's puberty finally kicking in. A growth spurt gaining him inches and some weight, health getting a boost in stamina, and his Quirk erupting from red flames into the never-before-seen blue fires. The lone facility member that had kept Dabi working received much praise for his weapon's evolution. The power in his Quirk was extreme and Touya immediately cried within the azure heat. Because finally... finally his father wouldn't regret creating him. He could rejoin the others in the facility. He could train alongside Hawks again. He'd get to be a hero!
Then Hawks left. Why? Why did he leave? Was it a mission? Was it a transfer? Was it-? The only one who gave him an answer was the man who'd taken care of him all these years. Hawks left because he had better things to do. He wouldn't be returning. He was moving onto the Heroics division. He didn't have time to spend with someone who would burn himself out well before he could reach those heights. It was better for Keigo if he wasn't around Touya anymore.
Hell yes he attacked him. Sick of this place. Sick of this abuse. Sick of them using him. Sick of the pain. Burn it all down. Burn it all! Dabi went on a rampage. Stalking through the halls, melting doors, warping walls, frying equipment, torching anyone who got in his path. It wasn't until one of the other handlers bravely confronted him with the truth about Hawks only being away on a mission, that he would be coming back in just three days, that the inferno finally paused long enough for one of the heroes on standby barreled the hellish area and knocked Touya out.
It's why there's construction going on when Hawks returns, why there are police and other government officials there, heroes and medical staff. An argument in the room Hawks is being treated at, on whether or not he should be allowed to approach him. One keeper said it's too dangerous and Hawks is too valuable an asset to risk being burned up. One said Hawks was the only one who could probably talk some sense into him. Another said it wouldn't be long for him, so why not let him enjoy his final moments? In the end, they made their decision and Keigo was brought back to the room he and his roommate shared. Quiet and wary, like walking towards the den of a monster. People are scrubbing black scorch marks off the walls.
The door opens and one blue eyes swings to the side. Touya's there. Sitting on the bed. An IV drip attached to one arm, his body covered in white bandages around his arms, legs, neck, shoulders, and face, red hair now completely snow white, having lost the last remains of red from before Hawks left. The room's hot, unnaturally so, but the drugs in Dabi's system are keeping him calm and his Quirk suppressed for the time being. He watches his roommate from the door to the bed, never once taking his eyes off him.
Keigo... Keigo came back... Three days was long enough for hell to break loose. "You... You came back..."
All the chaos when he'd come back had been hard to miss. Of course he'd had questions about all of it, even if something in his gut told him he had the answers he needed after he'd seen those scorch marks. Some of them he tried to voice, joking about the damage, to which some of his keepers scolded him for not taking the situation seriously. A few of them dismissed his concerns at first, but a few others had been more forthcoming while they stitched up the wound at his side. Dabi had shown his true colors, revealed himself for the menace that he really was. It's what leads into the question of whether Hawks should be allowed to go back to his room. And even when Hawks tries to interject that he'll be fine, that he's not worried about Touya, he's ignored. They can't have one of their best in all these years in danger. But finally, after all their fussing, they'd relented and sent him back to his room.
There's a hero outside their room now - a woman with an air quirk they're confident can put out Touya's fire or take him down if another "tantrum" ensues. None of what they're saying sits right with him. It makes him burn with anger that he's learned to hide, and all he can think about is how this life isn't fair to Touya.
Touya deserves better. He deserves to be happy. He doesn't deserve the abuse and torment he endures.
Hawks holds onto that thought as he sits at the edge of the bed, watching Touya for a moment. The temperature in the room is way hotter than what he's used to, and the relief at being warm instead of out in the icy cold winds is short lived. His wings bunch tighter against his back out of reflex - heat is dangerous, after all. But Hawks is quiet and calm as he regards the state Touya is in and what he has to say. And then something in his chest clenches painfully to hear those words. Did... Did Touya think he'd really leave him?
Instead of asking, he moves. He crawls the short distance to the other teen, and the way he moves is slow but practiced. He slides under one of Touya's arms, wrapping his arms around the other boy's torso, hooking one leg over his as he tucks his face into the crook of the other's neck. This is a place he's always felt safe and comfortable, and even now he does, despite the heat and the weight of Touya's mood bearing down on them. "They wouldn't let me say anything before I left," he explains, eyes trailing over the length of the other's bandaged limbs as he nestles closer. "They said they would tell you I'd be back, but I knew they wouldn't." He sighs with the thought. This place didn't care what happened to them emotionally or the bonds they formed with one another. Just cared about their stupid program. One he can't help but feel is the real enemy here.
For a moment, he's quiet, breathing slowly, ignoring his own pain and exhaustion he feels in his body. He can feel some of the scrapes reopening from the way he's rubbed up against the other boy, but he doesn't care. None of that matters right now when he knows Touya is in pain. Not just physically but in every other way too. The thought makes his eyes sting, encouraged by the anger and sadness he feels.
"I'm never going to leave you, Tou. Even if you want me to, I'm going to be with you no matter what." Because for Hawks, Touya is all that matters anymore. If they have to leave so he can protect Touya, that's what they'll do. He'll give all this up for him. For a life where Touya can smile and be happy, be whatever he wants to be. "Promise promise." And he's never broken a promise, especially not a promise promise.
He knows there's someone outside his room. It's been two days since the incident. Since the fires ripped out and his body had paid the price. The bandages around him hid away the ugly truth beneath the white gauze, though he'd already heard the details after waking up from the treatment. Burns. So many of them. Scorched his skin, second and third degree, damaged or destroyed nerve ends, scarring assured, no idea about skin grafts yet. Heavily medicated with morphine and painkillers so he could exist in this floating numbness that left him feeling strange, cold, alone, and tired.
Somehow he'd remained alive despite all of that. Not sure what, but deep inside his chest, he could take a fucking guess. It throbbed in him, this pulsating black fire that burned and roiled on itself with hatred and rage towards everything. All because Endeavor stuck him in here. All because he was built up to be the best, but just because others decided he was a failure, he was tossed aside. His father ignored him, abandoned him, didn't even take him back home. The doctors here simply wanted to make some damn weapon out of him. He actually saw his youngest brother one time through the glass in the door, stunned that his father had the gall to replace him! Because of that bastard, because of the heroes, all of this happened! You will. You can't. Harder. Hotter. Stop it. Give up. Everyone. Nobody. Everything. Nothing. Endeavor-!
Look at me.
They said Hawks had left. That he had more important things to do than hang around a weight. The man had the promise to become one of the top Pro Heroes in the entire country. He couldn't be endangered sitting around a broken vessel of fire. He couldn't be bothered wasting his time around someone who wouldn't amount to anything. Useless as a hero. And now, broken and burned, useless even as a weapon, they said. Burned out. Damaged. Unhinged. Unstable. Destroyed. They said. They said. All of them saying. Ever since the start, it was always someone else saying for him. Never letting him say anything! He hated them, all their stupid mouths, all their stupid words! They didn't know anything! They didn't know what he could do! Shut them up. Shut them all up! Show them everything they ever said was the worst truth possible! Follow it until the entire thing gutted itself and inverted into a dream turned nightmare! This entire god damn hero society with all their smiling faces and fucking lip service! Wants to wreck it. Wants to break it. Wants to- Wants To-!
Burn it all down.
Somewhere in there, he hears that voice, feels a familiar warmth. Keigo... Keigo came back. As if pushing aside the curtain of flames, he could see out once more, looking at the young man who'd come to mean more to him than almost anything else in the world. Golden eyes. That wavy blonde hair. Red wings. His face Touya had woken up to many mornings and fallen asleep beside so many nights. He can tell Keigo's hurt, the bandages on his neck and other places showing up easily enough. But he's back... Despite what they said, Keigo came back.
No words beyond that before the blonde boy moves forward and gets into his space. Muscle memory moves his arms without regarding the damage, lifting the limb as Keigo gets under it. Arms wind around his torso, pushing against the medicine-slathered gauze that keeps Touya from passing out from the agony that surely would've been there with his friend hugging his injured torso. Same with the face in his neck, the scent of that heavy-drugged salve wafting over Keigo's face and still unable to completely hide the scent of burnt flesh. A leg over him as well, as his friend more or less crawls into his lap. Some nurse might ask Keigo if he's gone fucking mad, climbing onto someone with severe burns all over, but there's no nurse there.
"I don't wanna be here anymore..." His words come through his bandaged face, tired eyes gazing at the floor over Keigo's back. Head dipped and resting against his friend. No strength to move his arms much beyond this. Registering the winged trainee's weight on his legs and torso and neck. "I killed him..." The man who told him Hawks left. The man who had focused on training the rejected son of Endeavor in a weapon. "And I liked it." That part deepens, turquoise eyes narrowing at nothing. Yet Touya's voice drips with something different, a certain callous malice that coats his tongue and ignites a quiet flame in his eyes. "Just kindling for my flames."
It's the other words that come next that seem to snap Dabi out of his thoughts, eyes widening a bit from mild surprise. Never going to leave... Be with you... Promise promise. For all the fire inside, there's apparently still some water left. Fingers grab onto Keigo's shirt, fisting the base of it as he holds on. Holds his friend close as those years of frustration and sadness, the sorrow he felt from the idea of Keigo leaving, built up all over again and spilled out. It hurts, his shoulders shake from the exertion, but he holds him close. Holds that promise close. He'd missed him so much, the boy he grew up with. The idea he'd never see him again, couldn't be with him anymore... Shivering breaths tumble out of his mouth.
Soft 'plap' 'plap' 'plap' noises coming out as his tears fall on Keigo's shirt. Red and sticky. No, there's no more water. Just blood. Tear ducts having burnt up in the flames.
okay here we go now that i have time to write you something appropriately feelsy
Of course Keigo knows this sort of closeness is ill-advised given the state Touya is in. It's something he's been told time and time again how much not to touch when his burns had started to pop up and be treated. It had always been an easy thing to listen before, so much easier to maneuver around Touya and find other ways to be close to him even if that was just putting a wing over him as they lay a few feet apart in the bed together. It's differet now, though.
Touya is in pain. He's hurting in the worst way he ever has in this place, and Keigo knows there isn't anything he can say or do with words alone. Jokes won't help here. The soft brush of feathers isn't enough. What Touya needs is to know that their days apart hadn't been by choice, to be reminded of how prominent and important a person he is to Keigo. That he's the most important person. The scent of burnt flesh and antiseptic is far from pleasant with how close he is, and he can't stop himself from wincing when he feels the way those bandages slide under his weight and movements, smearing salves and moving bandages that likely shouldn't be moved. But the longer Keigo sits there pressed against Touya, uncomfortable under the heat that he gives off, fighting to ignore the unpleasant smells that stick to his tongue, the more he knows that this is what Touya needs. No amount of bandages or medications are going to help him.
Those first words that leave the other teen's lips have his wings moving, curling around the two of them. Hiding them in a familiar shelter of the red wings in a world meant just for the two of them. A place where Touya can be vulnerable and Keigo will protect him. He nuzzles against Touya's head when he feels that weight, and his hand is a gentle brush over what he can find of the white hair through the bandages. Desperately trying to soothe Touya as he continues to speak. And everything he's been told doesn't prepare him for the words that follow. He can accept that Touya's killed someone - Keigo thinks it's just a matter of time before his own hands are covered in blood for these people. But what terrifies him to his core is that Touya liked it. There's no fear that Touya will hurt him - there's never been - but he's scared that he'll lose Touya. That this bright boy he's grown to love and cherish will wither away to a husk of a person he doesn't recognizes. He doesn't deserve to have that life taken away from him. And it's that thought that tells him they're going to leave this place.
He'll get them out of here no matter what he has to do. If he has to cut through everyone in this place to get Touya out of here, he'll do it.
Every part of him wants to curl closer, to hold the other teen tightly to him and promise him a better life. Remind him over and over again how perfect he is. He's prepared to say as much, but he feels those fingers grabbing onto him, those shivering breaths. Another part of Touya is breaking, and Keigo has to fix it. The soft sounds of droplets are what have his attention before the warm wetness that leaks into his shirt. It has him leaning back, and the golden eyes take in the bandaged face quickly. The sight of blood against those white bandages make anger burn through him, and it takes everything Keigo has not to let it show. He has to be strong for Touya.
His hands are gentle as he brushes at the other's tears, and he nudges their foreheads together gently.
"Hey." Keigo coos, soft and gentle in the way he brushes at bloody tears. His wings close tighter around them, and he struggles to stay still instead of climbing further into Touya's lap to hold onto him. "We're going to get out of here together, Tou. Just you and me. And we'll go to that amusement park I told you about, remember?" A place from a magazine with bright lights and huge roller coasters, something Keigo insisted he wanted to share with Touya. To give the other teen a chance to feel something like flying. "And anywhere else we want. No more tests, no more challenges. Just us. Together the way we want to be." His mind scrambles to find the best way to comfort Touya like this, to stop those tears.
He leans in quickly as soon as the thought hits him, sealing their lips together in a firm kiss. There's wetness at the corner of Touya's lips, blood that smears to the corner of Keigo's own, but he doesn't care. In that instant, he can feel his heart hammering against his chest, every part of him aching to be whatever Touya needs and wants him to be. "I love you, Tou." He's never said it outloud. And now that he has, he wants Touya to hear it and know that he'd do anything for him. That he'd fight the world to be here with Touya if it came to that.
Pain. Not pain. It comes in waves. For the most part, the damage he did to his body, hidden beneath the bandages, doesn't hurt. Morphine, torched nerves, and charred skin have rendered a lot of his pain receptacles numb. One of the doctors said he'd never be able to feel again. No pain, no pleasure, everything deadened. The others didn't agree. But even if he couldn't, the memories remained. Agony, heat, rage, phantom pain crawling through his mind like a man gone blind after a life of sight. He'll never forget it.
But right now, everything's mercifully numb, the opiates in his system keeping him quiet and docile on the bed. It's only Keigo's weight on his lap that finally prompts him to move and hold onto him. Those kind words promising that he hadn't abandoned him, reminding him that the boy he'd grown up with was still here, is still here, sitting on him, holding him. The scent of his hair and wings glides through him, faint traces of the free outside wind captured in his flight-tousled tresses and quills. A familiar scent which drags the other young man back through his mind and more towards the reality right here and now. Doesn't make it any easier as he holds onto Keigo, going against probably all the medical advice given for him to have a chance of recovery. What burns are pulling, what bandages are loosening, what salves are smearing, the IV jabbing, can't be bothered to be noticed right now. What he wants is here. In his arms.
Before red wings curl around them, embracing him in a familiar protection that Touya's taken comfort in so many times before. Not only his arms winding into a hoop to hold his chest and back, but a crimson dome of soft down and feathers. It's the only place he knows where he's truly private. Completely cut off from the world around him. As a kid, he used to believe nothing could get past Keigo's wings. When he was inside them, he was safe with his friend. One of the few places he would cry and hold onto the other boy, knowing his handler couldn't see him so weak and vulnerable. These wings have heart Touya speak things he wouldn't to others. Frustrations, doubts, questions over his own existence. And now the confessions of blood-stained hands and a revelation of pleasure over having done it. Quiet, calm, still in a drugged stupor, but none of it's a lie. These people who raised him to be a weapon after his father cast him aside as a failure... it felt good to unleash all of that upon them. Burning them with his rage, a great and terrible fury at being alive.
Getting out sounds good. Once he has his mind back to talk about it more, he'll be more than happy to help Keigo break them out of here. The sheer damage he'd caused to the place already over just a few hours should be telling enough what sort of power he held.
But for all his strength, Touya's still crying. Holding onto his friend desperately through the veil of his medication. Can't handle the reality of Keigo leaving him alone again. He's weak, he's hurt, but every shred of strength left inside him is channeled into his fingers to hold onto the other teen's shirt. Both to refuse him escape and to revel in relief that he's not gone, but here with him. Keigo's words are sweet, but his presence is the more convincing argument. Hands brush at his face, smoothing some of his tears that leak over the rim of his bandages and wander crimson down the white gauze and covering. He's saying something and Touya finally manages to part some of the clouds enough to listen.
"Get out..." A quiet repeat of the words. They could leave... right, they could leave. Feathered walls pull more securely around them and he leans his head forward, shoulders no longer shaking from silent sobbing, but stilled as a drugged calm slinks over him again. Keigo talks about escape and it sounds good in his ears. Amuse... Oh, right, the amusement park. He nods silently, weak and slow against the other boy's forehead. Never got to go there, only got to see it from that magazine picture. Keigo had been so adamant such a place exists and they could go there, that he'd share it with him. "Anywhere... together." No more of this they're in, tests and challenges begone. Just us, he says. It doesn't stop his tears, but at least changes their reason.
Suddenly there's warmth against his mouth. He feels softness plushing at his lips, his own pressed to his teeth. Takes several seconds for the burned teenager to even realize what just transpired. Keigo's speaking against his lips, saying a few words that wander into his ears and take a tour around his brain before finally arriving at their destination. The tired turquoise eyes slowly lift, looking to golden raptor's in front of him. Love... It'll hit him later, better, when he's not doped up on painkillers. But it still earns a soft exhale and the barest curves of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "You... you finally... finally said it..."
keigo isn't gonna let anyone who isn't a doctor near touya for a few days...
At first, Keigo had resigned himself to being stuck here until the days his handlers turned him loose as a hero. But then he'd met Touya and so much of his world view had shifted and changed to accommodate him. He'd long since lost track of the amount of time he'd spent wondering what it would be like to leave this place with Touya, to never have to come back. To do all those things he read about in magazines and books. To make memories with Touya that were as beautiful as all the pictures they marveled at when they were alone.
When Touya's burns had started to appear, when those bandages became more and more common on his friend's skin, he'd started to consider how he could get them out of here. He's used his feathers in simulated combat and training scenarios already - taken down training partners in record time that only continued to get faster and faster. No losses on his end. He could take the people here before they knew what hit them, and he could be gone with Touya. The nights when he'd hold Touya and let the other boy cry into his shoulders and chest, it only made him more and more convinced it would have to happen sooner rather than later. This is the final straw. The only person he cares about, the person he loves sobbing bloody tears on the tails of a rampage that's left blood on his hands is the last straw for Keigo. Touya can't stay here, and Keigo won't let him be much longer.
Once he can get Touya to calm down, to stop crying, hopefully lull him to sleep, Keigo will plan. But for now, soothing Touya is the most important thing to him.
When he isn't speaking, there's a soft cooing sound that rumbles through his chest and throat. A gentle sound meant to calm and soothe even as his hand strokes hair and bandages, his nose gently nudging into them as well. "Together," Keigo echoes softly as Touya processes what he's saying. "Anywhere. Just you and me forever." A dream Keigo holds onto with unyielding resolve - staying with Touya forever. So many of his thoughts start and end with the other teen, and he never questions it. It always felt right to think they would be together forever. Everything that Touya's done, the damage he'd caused after being told he was gone, only solidifies it. He's meant to be with Touya forever.
Even so, the confession leaves him restless. Touya not returning his affection is hardly a concern. What he is worried about with their foreheads pressed together now, is that Touya will be upset to hear it. That his words will somehow hurt the other and do more damage to the charred and broken boy in his arms. But seeing the way those eyes meet his own gives him hope, a few of his feathers flicking anxiously. The soft exhale, that hint of a smile, it's all Keigo needs. His expression brightens, and he laughs softly. The way he leans in to kiss one corner of the older teen's lips and then the other is followed by a bright smile and soft words, "did you think I didn't?"
The softness in the way he regards Touya is undeniable, and he's gentle in the way he guides the other's head to rest on his shoulder, swiping softly on the dark streaks of tears. Another soft string of coos, and he lets his hand trail over the pale hair and bandages once more. "I'll say it as many times as you want, Tou. So you can never forget it." And Keigo means it. Saying words that he means from the bottom of his soul is the least he can do for Touya. For the person he gave him something to look forward to every day.
that's likely gonna be the policy regardless, but yeah, protective bird~
When he started, scared and unsure, he had only the ambitions of his father to hold onto. Because Endeavor believed in him and knew what he was capable of. He would become a hero and surpass all others, until he stood at the top, vanquished All Might, and proved once and for all that the bloodline of Enji Todoroki was the superior hero! For that, he threw himself into his training, willing to power through everything that stood in his way. With his father's support, he would fulfill his ambition, earning his pride and the acknowledgement that Touya was worth every moment.
Until he wasn't. Burning himself, a weaker body unable to handle his Quirk or the physical demands placed upon him, when pure emotional grit wasn't able to break through those obstacles... all of that he could've handled. But when Endeavor turned away from him in disgust and anger, that was when Touya felt the agony of being a failure. A mistake. Breaking down in Keigo's arms, he'd clung to him, begging to know what he'd done wrong, why this happened, what he could do to succeed. Terrified that his failure would make him lose Keigo as well. Leaving this place could've been easy, a rejected and useless "hero" that couldn't make it. But he couldn't lose Keigo, not the only remaining person who saw him as something more than a broken, risky flamethrower. It's why he stayed when they offered to let him continue to hone his Quirk, even if it meant he was nothing more than weapon burning itself up. It let him keep his only friend...
So when he was gone, when Keigo left, when they said he wouldn't return because he had nothing left here for him, it broke everything. Even now as he clung to his returned friend and bled tears from his eyes that were too damaged for normal water, the intense burn inside him refused to go away. He hated them, every single one of them, the scientists and workers here, his father who abandoned him, his brother who replaced him, his family who ignored him, the damn heroes that were so important to this world. When he was in the middle of his rampage, burning everyone and everything around him... he felt so damn good. Even as his skin cooked on his body and the pain ripped his nerves apart, he felt free.
Some of that's shaken with Keigo's return. But nowhere near enough to push Touya's train back on the tracks. Derailed, crashed, exploded, and burnt, it wasn't going that way anymore. No straight rails for him. Only the warped and twisted tracks that carried him into the darkness with every passing moment. Clinging to Keigo right now was able to help calm some of those burning sensations (the drugs doing much of the rest), but inside... Touya continued to burn up.
Like an oven door closed over the furnace, the winged hero's tenderness is able to wind bandages around him, gently patching him up for the time being. Touya slowly begins to calm, the tears and shuddering taking their time to ease off as he sinks into his friend's embrace. Feels his breath through his hair, the soft avian cooing drifting into his ears and skin like it had so many times in the past. Together... Anywhere together... forever. His eyes drift half-shut and Touya's hands ease up on the death grip in his friend's shirt. Yes... yes he does want that. To stay with him. The one place he's ever felt save, validated, and wanted.
To hear Keigo say those little words... they break through the charred remains of his body and dive for what little bits of raw heart he still retains. Swirling and sinking inside like cool water, refusing to ever be removed from his flesh and mind. Some vague part realizes those words may very well have just cursed him forever, may become problems later, but there's no going back. Not when his broken heart accepted them so eagerly and consumed them in desperation to live. It's what brings the smile to his lips, half-charred as they are. Probably shouldn't be smiling in his state, but... whatever. There's a shift in his arms and he flickers a little in his consciousness, because Keigo's there a second and a second later he's there kissing the corner of his lips, then the other, "covering" his mouth in a way. It's... it's cute and keeps the smile on Touya's mouth.
"Didn't know..." He knew he was a friend, knew he was important, knew all those things. But love? Touya didn't exactly have a good example of what "love" actually was or acted like. But he accepts it regardless as hands guide his head. White spikes sink against Keigo's shoulder and the older teen settles against him, the bloody lines on his face no longer continuing to leak. More touches, more coos. He's too damaged and exhausted to do more than lean against his friend and rest, listening to his voice and heartbeat. "Don't think I ever will..." To be told someone loves him is almost surreal, but it gets through everything, medication, burns, pain, and the rest. Locked away inside Touya's heart to safely stay deep inside the blackened yards.
It's a dark truth, but Keigo knows there is no way to repair that damage that's been done to Touya. His quirk is ruining his body more and more, and the people here have done far too much to destroy his heart and mind. It's a painful thought to know that he'll never be able to fix all of it, that all he can do is stop the damage from getting worse, but he plans to try. He'll cut the world down and leave it at Touya's feet if it means it'll make him happy, that he doesn't have to be hurt anymore. It's a dark thought, one a part of him thinks he shouldn't entertain, but this is for Touya. And Touya? Is his world.
It doesn't matter that as they sit there, his own muscles are tired and aching from three days of flying and evading. The cut on his side makes him want to curl in on himself, body desperate for sleep as the first gleam of sweat appears on his skin from the heat of the room. From having Touya pressed against him, the heat from the room and Touya's own body held inside the safety of his wings. He's in pain, he's uncomfortable, his own anger simmering under his skin. But none of that matters as they sit there and he holds Touya against him. Because he loves Touya.
"I want to stay with you too." There's never been a doubt about that, Keigo hopes. He's done everything he could over the years to make it clear that he wants to be with Touya no matter what it takes. Keigo's never seen a healthy display of "love", especially not in this place or with his parents. All he knows is an unyielding dedication to someone like his mother had shown to his father. And now, what he's read in books in magazines. But he's sure this is love - the flutter in his chest whenever he's with Touya and sees him smile, the constant need to be close, a strange heat of desire he doesn't quite understand, dreams of being together forever. He wonders if they can have a life like he's read about, where they can run away together, get married and grow old together. Keigo thinks he'd be happy to wear a big, poofy white dress if Touya asked him to.
Keigo wants to know what Touya thinks, and he thinks once he starts feeling a little better, he'll ask. If only to make sure he can give him everything he wants.
"Do you want to sleep for a while? I'll be right here when you wake up." The words are followed by more gentle cooing, and Keigo slowly lets the back of his fingers gently brush the small bits of skin that he can reach on his face. It's not much at all, but it's what he can manage for right now. He's not even sure what Touya can feel right now, if the touch is helping him at all. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
Someone else who's no longer here at this place is responsible for a lot of that mental damage too. The last time Touya saw his father, the man was talking about Shouto, their newest addition to their family, and the blessed success he'd been coveting and hoping for all this time. Discarding the three failed experiments before, focusing only on the child he actually wanted, the child he didn't regret creating. Even after everything Touya did in this place, pushed through as his Quirk grew stronger, not caring if it damaged him so long as it grew so powerful, Endeavor would have to notice him. In the end, it didn't matter. Broken, scarred, wrecked, gutted, and left seething in rage and hatred, Touya no longer cared about that 'hero' crap. Once set on that course, then told to abandon it, a moment's desperation agreed to become a weapon, and now even that's literally exploded. But... it felt good. Being able to strike out, being able to ruin them just as they had him. This place alone, a quarter of it burned up, it's not enough. Not enough to really say something. He wants more...
And yet, there's one final barrier sitting between the furnace and the world. Covering him with his red wings, holding him in tired but determined arms, the steady beat of his heart and flow of his breath doing more to calm and comfort Touya than any medical concoction shoved into his veins. Safe in Keigo's arms... the only place in the world he's ever been wanted. Wanted as a person, whether he succeeds or fails. It quiets him, leaving him content with this for now. Too weak to do more than hold his friend with exhausted and injured arms, too numb and drugged up to recognize how badly Keigo needs his own rest.
But those monitoring the pair notice. Once the sheen of sweat appears on the winged hero's brow, AC units kick on and send cooling air humming into the room. Can't have their ace product overheat while he's coddling the blown-out experimental weapon.
"You'll get burned..." For the first time, Touya's mind clears just enough to realize what it meant if Keigo continued to stay near him. Nothing about the people around them or how important Hawks was to the world of heroes, but the reality that the person he cares about most could get hurt if he stayed close. Of course he wanted him to stay, needed him to, but if he didn't say the words, at least acknowledge the possibility... Yet the idea of Keigo leaving him... look at what it did this time. The results still sat all around them, blackened walls, bodybags, Touya's own damaged body. He's not safe without Keigo. Nor does he want to be. The dependency clashes with his pride and hatred, but it's only a small war, waged in the back somewhere his mind isn't occupying at the moment. Later on, when they can talk better, it'll come up.
"Yeah..." Sleeping sounded good right now. His body's exhausted, the medicine continues to flow, and there has been a concentrated effort to save his life and prevent his body from turning into charcoal. Still so much work to do to stabilize him further and help, but those will come later, over the next few months. Skin grafts, burn cleans, new tissue, surgery, Hawks might hear of a strange benefactor who's interested in helping Touya with little regard to money, but information on that will be denied, though for now... sleeping beside his best friend is the best medicine. Fingers brush at his face and Touya sinks into Keigo's embrace. He can barely feel it, right there at the edge of his bandages. "You're... all I need... to feel better."
he keeps their color by using the blood of his retainers
It won't be long before this place is in ruins, Keigo is confident in that fact. When they're ready to go, he has every intention of cutting down anyone who stands in their way. He knows they'll try to stop them, try to reason with them. But in Keigo's mind, their fate had been sealed the first time Touya had voiced being unhappy here, wanting to leave. And the downward spiral Touya is in... It just reinforces for Keigo everything he'll have to do to get them out of here.
But there will be time to think about that later. For now he needs to make sure Touya can rest and heal enough that they can make an escape. The last thing he wants is to have to move Touya in the condition he's in now, but as he watches Touya, strokes the bandaged head and listens to those words, he knows he'll do it if he has to. If he has to wheel Touya out of here on a stretcher with an IV still in his arm, he'll do it. But that isn't ideal. Keigo wants him to get better, and he knows he doesn't have the knowledge or skill to treat these kind of burns without doing more harm than good.
"I don't mind getting burned if it means I can stay with Touya," he coos softly to Touya as he leans in to press a soft kiss to a spot of hair between the layers of bandages. Slowly, he moves, slipping off Touya to sits beside him, wings shifting around them to keep hiding them. "Let's lay you down, okay? You'll be more comfortable." The way he moves away from Touya is slow, trying to reassure him that he isn't planning to just disappear again. But he does want to get Touya to lay down, to check some of his bandages, rearrange his clothes if he needs to. Clean up the blood on his face. He's gentle in the way he reaches and works Touya's grip from him, moving his hands to instead cup the side of Touya's head as he puts the other on his side.
"Do you want to lay on your side or your back?" Slowly, Keigo's wings pull back, out of the way to let them move without being disturbed or hindered any further than they already are with Touya's injuries. Briefly, his gaze flicks to the IV, checking the level on it, the length of its line, before glancing back at Touya. Without his wings surrounding them, the air feels cooler already, and he wonders briefly how much the other can feel it. Has he burned himself so badly that he's started to or already has lost feeling? The thought makes his brows furrow, eyes flicking across the rows of bandages, trying to find where some of them end and skin might begin. It's hard to tell right now, but he'll know in time, he hopes.
Keigo's not the only one who's been thinking about that. Touya's in no position or health to be lashing out like he did previously. But if/when he recovers, what's to say he wouldn't do the same again? As it is, his wakefulness right now is a very fragile thing and the eldest Todoroki is teetering on the verge of a coma at any second. Medically, it might be a better choice to put him in one, prevent his body and mind from causing more damage while he tries to heal. And if they keep Touya here, even if in a coma, Keigo would continue to hang around as well... A bird and his burned up weight.
Their friendship and dependence on each other hadn't gone unnoticed over all these years.
Touya's eyes never go beyond half-open the entire time, gazing with varying degrees of focus as the world drifts around him in a state of fuzz and tactile comfort. Keigo's hands and fingers touch him, putting pressure on his body, sparking faint pain every now and then when he reaches a particularly shallow-burned area on his jaw or neck or arm. He's not sure if that's a phantom pain or real. Everything's pretty surreal right now. But Keigo's here and that's what's important.
"Mhn..." It's supposed to be grumpy, when Keigo leans in to kiss him on the head. Kind of nudges him to the side too. But when his friend makes to move from him and slip off, Touya instinctively tightens his hands in the hero's clothes. "Don't..." His voice quivers at the edges, immediately afraid that his friend's leaving him again. What if it's a dream? What if he wakes up and he's not here? If he's alone, left behind, just like they said? Shirt and pants drag against his fingers, too weak to keep a firm enough grip to prevent Keigo from moving where he wants, but enough to stretch his shirt and pull protesting lines along the fabric. Only after his friend sits beside him and talks to him does Touya realize he's not being abandoned.
Lie down... right... He's not sure if he'll be more comfortable like that or staying where he was. Tired eyes lift to golden, exhausted and yet pleading with him not to disappear again. He couldn't... he couldn't handle that. Everyone's abandoned him, rejected him, his father, his family, his handlers... As his hand's gently pulled from Keigo's hips, he lets his arms fall to his sides, leaning into he hands cupping the sides of his head. Takes a few seconds, but Touya's coaxed down onto his side, legs still dangling off the bed cause he couldn't summon the strength to move them by himself.
"Back." There are burns on his back as well, but the side is too awkward to sleep on, since he'd end up rolling onto his front or back at some point in the night. The IV remains at a low level, enough to keep his pain down, but not enough to knock him out. Though there's only a thin change between the two results. One tweak would put Touya unconscious. He doesn't feel the cooler air, cold never bothering him even before he burned himself alive. But he lets Keigo move him, eventually lying on his back, legs on the bed, arms by his side, gazing up at the ceiling with a glazed expression that's not entirely there. The emotional drain of waking up and being without Keigo, only to find him back with him and returned... so much. Too much.
It's at that time a pair of doctors are going to come in, to check on Touya's vitals and the drips. They won't try to shoo Keigo out of the room, so he's free to stay and watch. But... in order to treat Touya with the surgeries and processes needed to help him recover, the safest way to do that is to put him in a medically induced coma.
If they do... he'll be sleeping for the next three years.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sall good. life happens~
makes him want to lash out... but he's too tired for that right now. it's easier to curl up on the bed and try to shut the pain out. would've too if this weirdo hadn't showed up. dabi doesn't break his eye contact, however, watching him with a guarded expression, though there's something hopeful in his gaze. wondering if this interaction won't end up as bad as the others have been today. plus...
"Your eyes are wet..." the other kid looks like he's been crying.
hawks. something about the name meshes well with the way the guy chirps like that. plus those little red wings. maybe his codename's cause of them, right? dabi's eyes swing towards the bed when pointed to it, frowning a little. oh... so now he has a roommate? he'd been kept in solitary since getting here, upon order of his father, but apparently that's changing today.
"The floor's dirty." his father wouldn't want him to be rolling around on the ground under the bed. "Can't you just put blankets over your head instead?" that sounds more like the logical course of action if you want it to get dark...
do you have discord?
He twists slightly to glance back at his bed before returning his attention to Dabi. Head tilting curiously, one brow goes up slowly at the comment about the floor being dirty.
"A little." One shoulder rises and falls in a shrug. "If we lay down together, it'll be too hot for you under a blanket." He pauses briefly to glance towards his wings and the way the red feathers are slight trembling just the slightest, nerves on edge from the constant overstimulation throughout the day. He nearly comments about the discomfort of his wings, how the blanket might just add to it. But he catches himself and says instead, "but we can do that, if you want. I don't mind." It's okay, as long as Dabi feels better, he thinks.
yeah, but i don't have it on dabi's journal yet. bah, need to get that up there...
"i know," he grumbles, rubbing at his upper arm. "they keep making me lift weights and do obstacle courses... i'm not good at them." the last part is almost a pout, mentally berating himself for not being able to do what his father wants. it makes him feel like a failure.
he follows hawks' glance towards the bed and floor and he wrinkles his noise at the idea even without being prompted to do that again. "if you're cold, wouldn't hot be good?" dabi points a small hand at hawks' wings, indicating the red appendages shivering in the air behind him. "we don't have to be smushed together." even pressing his hands together to indicate "smushed" to the other boy. because obviously he needs the visual.
not really.
i hate dw notifs
Instead, he focuses on the question. The golden eyes blink curiously at the question. It takes a second for him to realize where the assumption comes from, and he glances over towards the red wings briefly. He can still feel them trembling, and it looks like the other boy hasn't missed it either. But he doesn't correct him. This isn't about him, it's about making the other boy comfortable and less... miserable. "Yeah, that's true."
The gesture makes him blink curiously, and then he smiles with a short laugh.
Instead of responding, he moves slowly, perching one hand and knee on the edge of the bed. He pauses there waiting for Dabi to tell him it's okay to move closer.
unfortunately it's the habit by now.
Dabi's expression flattens a bit when it looks like Hawks doesn't get what he's referring to. But then he picks up on it and looks and Dabi gives an eyebrow motion that more or less pouts "see, told you" at him. "Why lie on the floor where it's cold and dark when you're already shivering from it? That's stupid." Blunt, but true.
So the invite into the bed still stands and Dabi scoots to the side when Hawks moves onto the edge. He has to tug the blanket a little so the other boy doesn't end up crawling on top of it. "C'mon. I said you could." He's not getting any warmer hanging out on the rim of the bed.
this is 3423235.75 years old now and i am sorry
He waits, quiet and careful, as the blanket is tugged. And a part of him tells him this might not be a good idea. That it's safer to be alone in his own bed than with someone he barely knows. But Dabi's words have him moving.
The bed dips the slightest with his weight as he moves across the surface and towards the space besides Dabi, and he hesitates only for a second as he eyes the space between them. He's careful in the way he lays down, and maybe it's obvious in how watchful and careful he is that being this close to someone is strange to him. His wings press slightly into the wall behind them, and there's the softest shuffle as they arrange themselves more comfortably.
"You're really warm." He notes after a moment, feeling the heat that comes off the other this close. "It's nice."
*blows off dust*
Maybe it’s safer? But the other boy’s cold and he’s offering a warm bed. Wouldn’t that be the better option? Dabi blinks at him, wondering in his head why there’s hesitation (and still not sure if sleeping on the floor under the bed is a better option, hiding from the lights being the exceptional reason). They have a blanket though, so that works?
Did Hawks bring his blanket with him? Is it still on the other boy’s bed? They could have two… even thought Dabi doesn’t really use his too much, more out of the sensation of it covering him than a need for warmth. As Hawks settles beside him, the boy drops the blanket over them, lying on his side and keeping the blonde boy between him and the wall. Maybe it’ll be warmer? But the wall’s probably cold…oh well, they’ll warm up. Everyone said Dabi was warm and he leans in to rest beside Hawks. New friend… how neat. “Are they soft?” Noticing Hawks’ wings. Everything's hard here...
-sneezes-
He watches as Dabi settles close to him, shifting just the slightest under the blanket. Between the warmth that pours off the other and the weight of the blanket, he feels... comfortable. Safe. It's a strange feeling, one he doesn't think he's properly had as long as he can remember. But he likes it. The small smile that curves his lips says as much as he takes in those blue eyes.
"Soft?" The question makes him blink, and he turns his head briefly to look over his shoulder at one of the small wings. "Yeah. Do you want to touch them?" One hand moves, adjusting the blanket enough that one of the red wings can stretch over his arm and towards Dabi for the other boy to touch. It's not something he can say he's ever given people the chance to do, so it'll be a new experience. But maybe, he thinks, if they can share things like this, they can be friends. He's never had friends before.
i have zero icons for this. have his shit face instead.
Dabi thought about asking if Hawks wanted to put the covers over their heads. That'd keep everything nice and dark for him. But he doesn't say anything about it, so Dabi doesn't either. Feels a little weird (he hasn't had anyone in his bed since for a while cause he was a big boy now) but it's not uncomfortable. Especially since he'd been alone in his room for a while. Hawks' smile earns one from Dabi as well.
"Yeah, they look real fluffy." Not like a cloud but... a feather pillow? He blinks at the offer, and then reaches a hand over to the offered wing, eyes wide and mouth hanging open a bit in a curious "ooh" expression. Small fingers touch the red offering, wandering his hand through them a few times. He's careful, treating it like fragile reverence. "Wow... they are soft." A big smile. "It's so cool~"
hahaha all good
"Yeah, they're pretty fluffy!" He agrees. His gaze is drawn to Dabi's face and then the hand as he reaches to touch his wings. Dabi isn't the first person to touch them, but the way he does is... different. It feels nice. Like Dabi enjoys them instead of wants to study them. Those small touches make him shiver, happy and content under the attention, and he smiles wider. "I'm glad you like them!"
Slowly, his wing folds back into place, and he readjusts the blanket over them. He's quiet for a moment before he says, quietly, "we can be friends, right?" That's how this works, right? He's never done it before.
no subject
He glances up at the shiver. "Are-?" Oh... no it doesn't seem like he's cold. Still scoots over a little closer just in case, and so Hawks doesn't have to stretch his wing too far. Enough their knees clunk and he pauses, not sure if he should be this close. He has a fire Quirk after all and he runs warmer...
"They're really cool," he murmurs, innocently letting his hand fall on Hawks' side as the red wing draws away from his touch. The blanket drawn over them comforts him as well and he settles in close to the other boy, eyes lidding at the sensation. "Yeah. I never had friends before..." Always kept at the house with his parents. Just his little sister, but she wasn't here.
"Yeah! We can!" Totally assuring it now.
no subject
And the compliment? It only makes him beam at the other boy. He's never been given attention like this before, and he hopes it doesn't have to stop.
"Me either," he admits once Dabi mentions never having friends. The confirmation makes his expression soften, and he nods with a small laugh. "Friends." He moves his hand enough to tug the blanket a bit higher before he squirms a bit closer.
"We should sleep soon. But I'll be here when you wake up, okay? I promise."
no subject
What a bright smile! Dabi grins back, a little boyish giggle coming out. Compliments are fun if they get a reaction like that. Hawks' smile reminds him of a sunny day.
The blanket snuggles around their shoulders and when Hawks gets closer, Dabi slots a leg between his to spread the warmth, arm slipping more down the other boy's back to rest in a lazy drape. Almost sharing a pillow now, but he doesn't mind. It feels better, safer.
Hearing Hawks agree to 'friends' makes his happier than he's ever recalled being. "Okay. I promise too. Promise promise." Because that's stronger than a single promise. He wants to stay up and play with his friend, talk about things, but knows they have another day tomorrow and have to be rested for it.
lmk if this works for a time skip?
They spend a lot of time together like this as the days roll into months and then years. Close when they're awake and even closer when they go to sleep. It's comfortable and pleasant, and Hawks finds himself thinking getting ready for bed and going to sleep are some of his favorite times of the day. No one else quite makes him feel the way Dabi does.
It doesn't take long for Hawks to stop calling Touya by the name Dabi, either. When they're alone, he calls the other boy by his name. It's a way Hawks tries to make Touya feel more like a person and less like just someone with a quirk. Because to Hawks, Touya has quickly become the most important person he has, and the way he sees the people in this place treat Touya never sits well with him. It's why he makes sure, no matter what, that he always tells the other how proud of him he is, how much he cares about him, how much faith he has in what he can do. And he means every word. Touya doesn't have to be the best or show off with his quirk to be perfect to Hawks. Sometimes, he knows Touya doesn't approve, doesn't believe him. But that never stops him from saying it, especially when they're alone, wrapped around one another in one of their beds.
It's a sad realization for Hawks that Touya doesn't have much of a future in this place. It makes him wonder if he'll be able to stay, how much longer they have together, because the last thing he wants it to lose Touya. It's enough that sometimes Hawks wonders if they could find a way to leave this place together - make a life for both of them that doesn't rely on their quirks. They could be happy together then, right? It's a thought he has often, one he hopes can come true one day, but he's never quite brought it up to Touya. Too worried Touya would reject the idea. Might not want a life with Hawks outside this place. And the idea of Touya not wanting to be with him? Hurts Hawks more than anything else.
It's a surprise one morning when Hawks, barely 15 now, is woken up well before the sun rises, dragged off for some surprise training. He puts on his flight suit and visor while trying to eat a protein bar they shove at him, listening to what he's being told. He'll go on his first long flight today - a journey that will a day to get there and a day to get back at his fastest and without obstacles. But the way they talk about it tells Hawks there will be more to it. It'll be a challenge, one he might not come back from if he isn't careful. And he hardens himself to that thought. He will come back. For Touya.
When he takes off, the flight to the first checkpoint is quick and easy. All that's there is food and water and a small box he's supposed to retrieve. The trip to the second checkpoint is undisturbed, but his arrival there met with a flurry of ranged attacks he has to hurry and dodge. It takes some work to get to the small box there, but he manages and takes off quickly. There are a few scratches across his arms and legs from shots that were too close to comfort, but they're barely bleeding and aren't that deep by the time he takes off again. And the journey to the third checkpoint? It's a nightmare. Random attacks, loud sounds and bright lights that narrowly miss taking him out entirely. But it's just the thought of getting home and seeing Touya that keeps him fighting. Doing his best to make it to the final checkpoint so he can rest and head back.
The journey back after the last checkpoint is longer. His body is exhausted, his head is pounding, and the surprise attacks don't cease. By the time he makes it back on the third day, he's a mess. A scratch across his cheek that's bleeding slowly, some of the feathers are on one of his wings are charred, there are various scuffs and bruises across his body. The worst injury is one across his side, deep enough that their keepers force him to clean up so they can hurriedly stitch it closed. The rest of his injuries are his own to handle like they often are. He takes the first aid kit they shove at him and follows them quietly back to his room.
When they push him inside and close and lock the door behind him, all Hawks wants to do is collapse on the ground and sleep. But what staves off his exhaustion for just a moment is the sight of Touya in the room. He brightens, wings fluffing up at just the sight of the other.
"Hey, Tou." He greets happily, taking a few shuffling steps forward to drop onto the edge of the bed the other boy is sitting on. "Long time no see." As if he hadn't been gone for three days.
crashes this wreck
He quickly made friends with the other boy, a strange thing because he never had a friend before and wasn't quite sure how to "do" friends at first? But fast learned the more time they spent together. Getting Hawks as his roommate was so much fun soon enough! Despite his exhaustion from the grueling training, Touya could come back and Hawks- no, Keigo, was there to meet him with a smile. He made sure to start calling Keigo by his real name, a small sign of rebellion against their maintainers. (It was kind of fun, doing that.) The notion of treating him like a person instead of a weapon. Between the classes, training, exercises, and everything else, Touya came to rely on his friend as an anchor in this place. An important person he cherished and valued above everyone else. They met other kids, met other retainers, other heroes, even a villain or two, but no one connected with the eldest Todoroki like Keigo did. The approval and encouragement, validation and pride that comes from him, they're things he latches onto and holds tightly to, never failing to give similar compliments back. Keigo's work was always amazing, to the point Touya could be "rewarded" by letting him come watch his friend go through his routines. Knowing they'd go forward together and reach that peak.
Until the day came that they wouldn't. The burns started. The scent of smoking flesh. Angry red patches on his body. He reacted the same way a child would, complaining of the pain and not knowing what was happening. Doctors came in to look at him, comparing his genetics, and quickly found out the truth: Touya's Quirk was incompatible with his physical body. Resistance to cold temperatures, not hot, his premature birth compounding his growth, making him physically weaker, a frailer constitution that would leave him more lanky than athletic... Dabi's Quirk would eat him alive the more he pushed it. Despite Endeavor and Touya's stunned disbelief, followed by a father-son rage about how that had to be wrong, because Dabi would be the greatest hero... the verdict was passed.
Todoroki Touya was labeled a failure. For his own safety, he was to be removed from the program. Of course they acknowledged his Quirk was stronger than Endeavor's own, flames more powerful, hotter and stronger, than his father's, but that would only serve to cripple him even more as time went on. He would never become a hero. Best to give up and return home to find a new path in life. Of course Touya refused. But so did Endeavor. Not a refusal to his son becoming a hero, but a refusal to let the failure come home. Told them to keep him at the facility and make what use of him they wanted. Endeavor had no use for a failed experiment.
Things changed afterwards. Returning to Hawks, Dabi didn't say a word, only crawled into bed, balled up, and cried his eyes out. More days passed, of course Keigo learned about what happened. When one of the brightest stars of prominence plunges from the sky and crashes into the ocean of reality, it's not a secret. With nowhere else to go, the one person in the facility who took more interest in Touya than anyone else stepped in and took him aside for a week. Alone, away from the rest. Talked to him, tested him, actually put in some work to see what could be milked from a failure. Even if Endeavor had no use for him, this man knew someone who could... A week later, the inspector returned with Dabi and set him aside on a special program. There was no assured future for him. Any day could be his last. But so long as he continued to at least strengthen his Quirk, then he could stay.
No longer completing the courses other heroes in training did. No longer in the limelight he'd enjoyed those first months. Word got out about his condition and people avoided him, not wanting to associate with a failure, or wondering if he was going to burst into flame at any moment. But through it all, Hawks stayed with him... Though Touya's attitude turned sour and bitter, desperate to try and cling onto the path his father had set him on, he remained solely tethered to the winged hero who stood by his side. Even if he didn't believe those kind words very much anymore. Encouraging Touya to continue was the same as encouraging him to hurt himself, or worse. They couldn't be as close as they had before, with the other boy coming in to sleep with Hawks, but often with bandages on his body to cover the burns, ointment and numbing topical spreads, making those longed-for nights when he could be all wrapped up by his best friend all the more difficult to lose.
And then, three days ago... when Hawks left. No word. No reason. Just after his 15th birthday, when he and Dabi got to be the same age for barely a month before Dabi's biological calendar flipped in January. Cold, icy, snow, gales... His burns had gotten worse, constant medical care was his life. But his Quirk had just gone through a mutation along with Touya's puberty finally kicking in. A growth spurt gaining him inches and some weight, health getting a boost in stamina, and his Quirk erupting from red flames into the never-before-seen blue fires. The lone facility member that had kept Dabi working received much praise for his weapon's evolution. The power in his Quirk was extreme and Touya immediately cried within the azure heat. Because finally... finally his father wouldn't regret creating him. He could rejoin the others in the facility. He could train alongside Hawks again. He'd get to be a hero!
Then Hawks left. Why? Why did he leave? Was it a mission? Was it a transfer? Was it-? The only one who gave him an answer was the man who'd taken care of him all these years. Hawks left because he had better things to do. He wouldn't be returning. He was moving onto the Heroics division. He didn't have time to spend with someone who would burn himself out well before he could reach those heights. It was better for Keigo if he wasn't around Touya anymore.
Hell yes he attacked him. Sick of this place. Sick of this abuse. Sick of them using him. Sick of the pain. Burn it all down. Burn it all! Dabi went on a rampage. Stalking through the halls, melting doors, warping walls, frying equipment, torching anyone who got in his path. It wasn't until one of the other handlers bravely confronted him with the truth about Hawks only being away on a mission, that he would be coming back in just three days, that the inferno finally paused long enough for one of the heroes on standby barreled the hellish area and knocked Touya out.
It's why there's construction going on when Hawks returns, why there are police and other government officials there, heroes and medical staff. An argument in the room Hawks is being treated at, on whether or not he should be allowed to approach him. One keeper said it's too dangerous and Hawks is too valuable an asset to risk being burned up. One said Hawks was the only one who could probably talk some sense into him. Another said it wouldn't be long for him, so why not let him enjoy his final moments? In the end, they made their decision and Keigo was brought back to the room he and his roommate shared. Quiet and wary, like walking towards the den of a monster. People are scrubbing black scorch marks off the walls.
The door opens and one blue eyes swings to the side. Touya's there. Sitting on the bed. An IV drip attached to one arm, his body covered in white bandages around his arms, legs, neck, shoulders, and face, red hair now completely snow white, having lost the last remains of red from before Hawks left. The room's hot, unnaturally so, but the drugs in Dabi's system are keeping him calm and his Quirk suppressed for the time being. He watches his roommate from the door to the bed, never once taking his eyes off him.
Keigo... Keigo came back... Three days was long enough for hell to break loose. "You... You came back..."
it's fine, I didn't need my heart
There's a hero outside their room now - a woman with an air quirk they're confident can put out Touya's fire or take him down if another "tantrum" ensues. None of what they're saying sits right with him. It makes him burn with anger that he's learned to hide, and all he can think about is how this life isn't fair to Touya.
Touya deserves better. He deserves to be happy. He doesn't deserve the abuse and torment he endures.
Hawks holds onto that thought as he sits at the edge of the bed, watching Touya for a moment. The temperature in the room is way hotter than what he's used to, and the relief at being warm instead of out in the icy cold winds is short lived. His wings bunch tighter against his back out of reflex - heat is dangerous, after all. But Hawks is quiet and calm as he regards the state Touya is in and what he has to say. And then something in his chest clenches painfully to hear those words. Did... Did Touya think he'd really leave him?
Instead of asking, he moves. He crawls the short distance to the other teen, and the way he moves is slow but practiced. He slides under one of Touya's arms, wrapping his arms around the other boy's torso, hooking one leg over his as he tucks his face into the crook of the other's neck. This is a place he's always felt safe and comfortable, and even now he does, despite the heat and the weight of Touya's mood bearing down on them. "They wouldn't let me say anything before I left," he explains, eyes trailing over the length of the other's bandaged limbs as he nestles closer. "They said they would tell you I'd be back, but I knew they wouldn't." He sighs with the thought. This place didn't care what happened to them emotionally or the bonds they formed with one another. Just cared about their stupid program. One he can't help but feel is the real enemy here.
For a moment, he's quiet, breathing slowly, ignoring his own pain and exhaustion he feels in his body. He can feel some of the scrapes reopening from the way he's rubbed up against the other boy, but he doesn't care. None of that matters right now when he knows Touya is in pain. Not just physically but in every other way too. The thought makes his eyes sting, encouraged by the anger and sadness he feels.
"I'm never going to leave you, Tou. Even if you want me to, I'm going to be with you no matter what." Because for Hawks, Touya is all that matters anymore. If they have to leave so he can protect Touya, that's what they'll do. He'll give all this up for him. For a life where Touya can smile and be happy, be whatever he wants to be. "Promise promise." And he's never broken a promise, especially not a promise promise.
here's some more~
Somehow he'd remained alive despite all of that. Not sure what, but deep inside his chest, he could take a fucking guess. It throbbed in him, this pulsating black fire that burned and roiled on itself with hatred and rage towards everything. All because Endeavor stuck him in here. All because he was built up to be the best, but just because others decided he was a failure, he was tossed aside. His father ignored him, abandoned him, didn't even take him back home. The doctors here simply wanted to make some damn weapon out of him. He actually saw his youngest brother one time through the glass in the door, stunned that his father had the gall to replace him! Because of that bastard, because of the heroes, all of this happened! You will. You can't. Harder. Hotter. Stop it. Give up. Everyone. Nobody. Everything. Nothing. Endeavor-!
Look at me.
They said Hawks had left. That he had more important things to do than hang around a weight. The man had the promise to become one of the top Pro Heroes in the entire country. He couldn't be endangered sitting around a broken vessel of fire. He couldn't be bothered wasting his time around someone who wouldn't amount to anything. Useless as a hero. And now, broken and burned, useless even as a weapon, they said. Burned out. Damaged. Unhinged. Unstable. Destroyed. They said. They said. All of them saying. Ever since the start, it was always someone else saying for him. Never letting him say anything! He hated them, all their stupid mouths, all their stupid words! They didn't know anything! They didn't know what he could do! Shut them up. Shut them all up! Show them everything they ever said was the worst truth possible! Follow it until the entire thing gutted itself and inverted into a dream turned nightmare! This entire god damn hero society with all their smiling faces and fucking lip service! Wants to wreck it. Wants to break it. Wants to- Wants To-!
Burn it all down.
Somewhere in there, he hears that voice, feels a familiar warmth. Keigo... Keigo came back. As if pushing aside the curtain of flames, he could see out once more, looking at the young man who'd come to mean more to him than almost anything else in the world. Golden eyes. That wavy blonde hair. Red wings. His face Touya had woken up to many mornings and fallen asleep beside so many nights. He can tell Keigo's hurt, the bandages on his neck and other places showing up easily enough. But he's back... Despite what they said, Keigo came back.
No words beyond that before the blonde boy moves forward and gets into his space. Muscle memory moves his arms without regarding the damage, lifting the limb as Keigo gets under it. Arms wind around his torso, pushing against the medicine-slathered gauze that keeps Touya from passing out from the agony that surely would've been there with his friend hugging his injured torso. Same with the face in his neck, the scent of that heavy-drugged salve wafting over Keigo's face and still unable to completely hide the scent of burnt flesh. A leg over him as well, as his friend more or less crawls into his lap. Some nurse might ask Keigo if he's gone fucking mad, climbing onto someone with severe burns all over, but there's no nurse there.
"I don't wanna be here anymore..." His words come through his bandaged face, tired eyes gazing at the floor over Keigo's back. Head dipped and resting against his friend. No strength to move his arms much beyond this. Registering the winged trainee's weight on his legs and torso and neck. "I killed him..." The man who told him Hawks left. The man who had focused on training the rejected son of Endeavor in a weapon. "And I liked it." That part deepens, turquoise eyes narrowing at nothing. Yet Touya's voice drips with something different, a certain callous malice that coats his tongue and ignites a quiet flame in his eyes. "Just kindling for my flames."
It's the other words that come next that seem to snap Dabi out of his thoughts, eyes widening a bit from mild surprise. Never going to leave... Be with you... Promise promise. For all the fire inside, there's apparently still some water left. Fingers grab onto Keigo's shirt, fisting the base of it as he holds on. Holds his friend close as those years of frustration and sadness, the sorrow he felt from the idea of Keigo leaving, built up all over again and spilled out. It hurts, his shoulders shake from the exertion, but he holds him close. Holds that promise close. He'd missed him so much, the boy he grew up with. The idea he'd never see him again, couldn't be with him anymore... Shivering breaths tumble out of his mouth.
Soft 'plap' 'plap' 'plap' noises coming out as his tears fall on Keigo's shirt. Red and sticky. No, there's no more water. Just blood. Tear ducts having burnt up in the flames.
okay here we go now that i have time to write you something appropriately feelsy
Touya is in pain. He's hurting in the worst way he ever has in this place, and Keigo knows there isn't anything he can say or do with words alone. Jokes won't help here. The soft brush of feathers isn't enough. What Touya needs is to know that their days apart hadn't been by choice, to be reminded of how prominent and important a person he is to Keigo. That he's the most important person. The scent of burnt flesh and antiseptic is far from pleasant with how close he is, and he can't stop himself from wincing when he feels the way those bandages slide under his weight and movements, smearing salves and moving bandages that likely shouldn't be moved. But the longer Keigo sits there pressed against Touya, uncomfortable under the heat that he gives off, fighting to ignore the unpleasant smells that stick to his tongue, the more he knows that this is what Touya needs. No amount of bandages or medications are going to help him.
Those first words that leave the other teen's lips have his wings moving, curling around the two of them. Hiding them in a familiar shelter of the red wings in a world meant just for the two of them. A place where Touya can be vulnerable and Keigo will protect him. He nuzzles against Touya's head when he feels that weight, and his hand is a gentle brush over what he can find of the white hair through the bandages. Desperately trying to soothe Touya as he continues to speak. And everything he's been told doesn't prepare him for the words that follow. He can accept that Touya's killed someone - Keigo thinks it's just a matter of time before his own hands are covered in blood for these people. But what terrifies him to his core is that Touya liked it. There's no fear that Touya will hurt him - there's never been - but he's scared that he'll lose Touya. That this bright boy he's grown to love and cherish will wither away to a husk of a person he doesn't recognizes. He doesn't deserve to have that life taken away from him. And it's that thought that tells him they're going to leave this place.
He'll get them out of here no matter what he has to do. If he has to cut through everyone in this place to get Touya out of here, he'll do it.
Every part of him wants to curl closer, to hold the other teen tightly to him and promise him a better life. Remind him over and over again how perfect he is. He's prepared to say as much, but he feels those fingers grabbing onto him, those shivering breaths. Another part of Touya is breaking, and Keigo has to fix it. The soft sounds of droplets are what have his attention before the warm wetness that leaks into his shirt. It has him leaning back, and the golden eyes take in the bandaged face quickly. The sight of blood against those white bandages make anger burn through him, and it takes everything Keigo has not to let it show. He has to be strong for Touya.
His hands are gentle as he brushes at the other's tears, and he nudges their foreheads together gently.
"Hey." Keigo coos, soft and gentle in the way he brushes at bloody tears. His wings close tighter around them, and he struggles to stay still instead of climbing further into Touya's lap to hold onto him. "We're going to get out of here together, Tou. Just you and me. And we'll go to that amusement park I told you about, remember?" A place from a magazine with bright lights and huge roller coasters, something Keigo insisted he wanted to share with Touya. To give the other teen a chance to feel something like flying. "And anywhere else we want. No more tests, no more challenges. Just us. Together the way we want to be." His mind scrambles to find the best way to comfort Touya like this, to stop those tears.
He leans in quickly as soon as the thought hits him, sealing their lips together in a firm kiss. There's wetness at the corner of Touya's lips, blood that smears to the corner of Keigo's own, but he doesn't care. In that instant, he can feel his heart hammering against his chest, every part of him aching to be whatever Touya needs and wants him to be. "I love you, Tou." He's never said it outloud. And now that he has, he wants Touya to hear it and know that he'd do anything for him. That he'd fight the world to be here with Touya if it came to that.
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But right now, everything's mercifully numb, the opiates in his system keeping him quiet and docile on the bed. It's only Keigo's weight on his lap that finally prompts him to move and hold onto him. Those kind words promising that he hadn't abandoned him, reminding him that the boy he'd grown up with was still here, is still here, sitting on him, holding him. The scent of his hair and wings glides through him, faint traces of the free outside wind captured in his flight-tousled tresses and quills. A familiar scent which drags the other young man back through his mind and more towards the reality right here and now. Doesn't make it any easier as he holds onto Keigo, going against probably all the medical advice given for him to have a chance of recovery. What burns are pulling, what bandages are loosening, what salves are smearing, the IV jabbing, can't be bothered to be noticed right now. What he wants is here. In his arms.
Before red wings curl around them, embracing him in a familiar protection that Touya's taken comfort in so many times before. Not only his arms winding into a hoop to hold his chest and back, but a crimson dome of soft down and feathers. It's the only place he knows where he's truly private. Completely cut off from the world around him. As a kid, he used to believe nothing could get past Keigo's wings. When he was inside them, he was safe with his friend. One of the few places he would cry and hold onto the other boy, knowing his handler couldn't see him so weak and vulnerable. These wings have heart Touya speak things he wouldn't to others. Frustrations, doubts, questions over his own existence. And now the confessions of blood-stained hands and a revelation of pleasure over having done it. Quiet, calm, still in a drugged stupor, but none of it's a lie. These people who raised him to be a weapon after his father cast him aside as a failure... it felt good to unleash all of that upon them. Burning them with his rage, a great and terrible fury at being alive.
Getting out sounds good. Once he has his mind back to talk about it more, he'll be more than happy to help Keigo break them out of here. The sheer damage he'd caused to the place already over just a few hours should be telling enough what sort of power he held.
But for all his strength, Touya's still crying. Holding onto his friend desperately through the veil of his medication. Can't handle the reality of Keigo leaving him alone again. He's weak, he's hurt, but every shred of strength left inside him is channeled into his fingers to hold onto the other teen's shirt. Both to refuse him escape and to revel in relief that he's not gone, but here with him. Keigo's words are sweet, but his presence is the more convincing argument. Hands brush at his face, smoothing some of his tears that leak over the rim of his bandages and wander crimson down the white gauze and covering. He's saying something and Touya finally manages to part some of the clouds enough to listen.
"Get out..." A quiet repeat of the words. They could leave... right, they could leave. Feathered walls pull more securely around them and he leans his head forward, shoulders no longer shaking from silent sobbing, but stilled as a drugged calm slinks over him again. Keigo talks about escape and it sounds good in his ears. Amuse... Oh, right, the amusement park. He nods silently, weak and slow against the other boy's forehead. Never got to go there, only got to see it from that magazine picture. Keigo had been so adamant such a place exists and they could go there, that he'd share it with him. "Anywhere... together." No more of this they're in, tests and challenges begone. Just us, he says. It doesn't stop his tears, but at least changes their reason.
Suddenly there's warmth against his mouth. He feels softness plushing at his lips, his own pressed to his teeth. Takes several seconds for the burned teenager to even realize what just transpired. Keigo's speaking against his lips, saying a few words that wander into his ears and take a tour around his brain before finally arriving at their destination. The tired turquoise eyes slowly lift, looking to golden raptor's in front of him. Love... It'll hit him later, better, when he's not doped up on painkillers. But it still earns a soft exhale and the barest curves of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "You... you finally... finally said it..."
keigo isn't gonna let anyone who isn't a doctor near touya for a few days...
When Touya's burns had started to appear, when those bandages became more and more common on his friend's skin, he'd started to consider how he could get them out of here. He's used his feathers in simulated combat and training scenarios already - taken down training partners in record time that only continued to get faster and faster. No losses on his end. He could take the people here before they knew what hit them, and he could be gone with Touya. The nights when he'd hold Touya and let the other boy cry into his shoulders and chest, it only made him more and more convinced it would have to happen sooner rather than later. This is the final straw. The only person he cares about, the person he loves sobbing bloody tears on the tails of a rampage that's left blood on his hands is the last straw for Keigo. Touya can't stay here, and Keigo won't let him be much longer.
Once he can get Touya to calm down, to stop crying, hopefully lull him to sleep, Keigo will plan. But for now, soothing Touya is the most important thing to him.
When he isn't speaking, there's a soft cooing sound that rumbles through his chest and throat. A gentle sound meant to calm and soothe even as his hand strokes hair and bandages, his nose gently nudging into them as well. "Together," Keigo echoes softly as Touya processes what he's saying. "Anywhere. Just you and me forever." A dream Keigo holds onto with unyielding resolve - staying with Touya forever. So many of his thoughts start and end with the other teen, and he never questions it. It always felt right to think they would be together forever. Everything that Touya's done, the damage he'd caused after being told he was gone, only solidifies it. He's meant to be with Touya forever.
Even so, the confession leaves him restless. Touya not returning his affection is hardly a concern. What he is worried about with their foreheads pressed together now, is that Touya will be upset to hear it. That his words will somehow hurt the other and do more damage to the charred and broken boy in his arms. But seeing the way those eyes meet his own gives him hope, a few of his feathers flicking anxiously. The soft exhale, that hint of a smile, it's all Keigo needs. His expression brightens, and he laughs softly. The way he leans in to kiss one corner of the older teen's lips and then the other is followed by a bright smile and soft words, "did you think I didn't?"
The softness in the way he regards Touya is undeniable, and he's gentle in the way he guides the other's head to rest on his shoulder, swiping softly on the dark streaks of tears. Another soft string of coos, and he lets his hand trail over the pale hair and bandages once more. "I'll say it as many times as you want, Tou. So you can never forget it." And Keigo means it. Saying words that he means from the bottom of his soul is the least he can do for Touya. For the person he gave him something to look forward to every day.
that's likely gonna be the policy regardless, but yeah, protective bird~
Until he wasn't. Burning himself, a weaker body unable to handle his Quirk or the physical demands placed upon him, when pure emotional grit wasn't able to break through those obstacles... all of that he could've handled. But when Endeavor turned away from him in disgust and anger, that was when Touya felt the agony of being a failure. A mistake. Breaking down in Keigo's arms, he'd clung to him, begging to know what he'd done wrong, why this happened, what he could do to succeed. Terrified that his failure would make him lose Keigo as well. Leaving this place could've been easy, a rejected and useless "hero" that couldn't make it. But he couldn't lose Keigo, not the only remaining person who saw him as something more than a broken, risky flamethrower. It's why he stayed when they offered to let him continue to hone his Quirk, even if it meant he was nothing more than weapon burning itself up. It let him keep his only friend...
So when he was gone, when Keigo left, when they said he wouldn't return because he had nothing left here for him, it broke everything. Even now as he clung to his returned friend and bled tears from his eyes that were too damaged for normal water, the intense burn inside him refused to go away. He hated them, every single one of them, the scientists and workers here, his father who abandoned him, his brother who replaced him, his family who ignored him, the damn heroes that were so important to this world. When he was in the middle of his rampage, burning everyone and everything around him... he felt so damn good. Even as his skin cooked on his body and the pain ripped his nerves apart, he felt free.
Some of that's shaken with Keigo's return. But nowhere near enough to push Touya's train back on the tracks. Derailed, crashed, exploded, and burnt, it wasn't going that way anymore. No straight rails for him. Only the warped and twisted tracks that carried him into the darkness with every passing moment. Clinging to Keigo right now was able to help calm some of those burning sensations (the drugs doing much of the rest), but inside... Touya continued to burn up.
Like an oven door closed over the furnace, the winged hero's tenderness is able to wind bandages around him, gently patching him up for the time being. Touya slowly begins to calm, the tears and shuddering taking their time to ease off as he sinks into his friend's embrace. Feels his breath through his hair, the soft avian cooing drifting into his ears and skin like it had so many times in the past. Together... Anywhere together... forever. His eyes drift half-shut and Touya's hands ease up on the death grip in his friend's shirt. Yes... yes he does want that. To stay with him. The one place he's ever felt save, validated, and wanted.
To hear Keigo say those little words... they break through the charred remains of his body and dive for what little bits of raw heart he still retains. Swirling and sinking inside like cool water, refusing to ever be removed from his flesh and mind. Some vague part realizes those words may very well have just cursed him forever, may become problems later, but there's no going back. Not when his broken heart accepted them so eagerly and consumed them in desperation to live. It's what brings the smile to his lips, half-charred as they are. Probably shouldn't be smiling in his state, but... whatever. There's a shift in his arms and he flickers a little in his consciousness, because Keigo's there a second and a second later he's there kissing the corner of his lips, then the other, "covering" his mouth in a way. It's... it's cute and keeps the smile on Touya's mouth.
"Didn't know..." He knew he was a friend, knew he was important, knew all those things. But love? Touya didn't exactly have a good example of what "love" actually was or acted like. But he accepts it regardless as hands guide his head. White spikes sink against Keigo's shoulder and the older teen settles against him, the bloody lines on his face no longer continuing to leak. More touches, more coos. He's too damaged and exhausted to do more than lean against his friend and rest, listening to his voice and heartbeat. "Don't think I ever will..." To be told someone loves him is almost surreal, but it gets through everything, medication, burns, pain, and the rest. Locked away inside Touya's heart to safely stay deep inside the blackened yards.
"I wanna stay with you..."
he's ready for a feather massacre
It doesn't matter that as they sit there, his own muscles are tired and aching from three days of flying and evading. The cut on his side makes him want to curl in on himself, body desperate for sleep as the first gleam of sweat appears on his skin from the heat of the room. From having Touya pressed against him, the heat from the room and Touya's own body held inside the safety of his wings. He's in pain, he's uncomfortable, his own anger simmering under his skin. But none of that matters as they sit there and he holds Touya against him. Because he loves Touya.
"I want to stay with you too." There's never been a doubt about that, Keigo hopes. He's done everything he could over the years to make it clear that he wants to be with Touya no matter what it takes. Keigo's never seen a healthy display of "love", especially not in this place or with his parents. All he knows is an unyielding dedication to someone like his mother had shown to his father. And now, what he's read in books in magazines. But he's sure this is love - the flutter in his chest whenever he's with Touya and sees him smile, the constant need to be close, a strange heat of desire he doesn't quite understand, dreams of being together forever. He wonders if they can have a life like he's read about, where they can run away together, get married and grow old together. Keigo thinks he'd be happy to wear a big, poofy white dress if Touya asked him to.
Keigo wants to know what Touya thinks, and he thinks once he starts feeling a little better, he'll ask. If only to make sure he can give him everything he wants.
"Do you want to sleep for a while? I'll be right here when you wake up." The words are followed by more gentle cooing, and Keigo slowly lets the back of his fingers gently brush the small bits of skin that he can reach on his face. It's not much at all, but it's what he can manage for right now. He's not even sure what Touya can feel right now, if the touch is helping him at all. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
red feathers for a whole other reason
And yet, there's one final barrier sitting between the furnace and the world. Covering him with his red wings, holding him in tired but determined arms, the steady beat of his heart and flow of his breath doing more to calm and comfort Touya than any medical concoction shoved into his veins. Safe in Keigo's arms... the only place in the world he's ever been wanted. Wanted as a person, whether he succeeds or fails. It quiets him, leaving him content with this for now. Too weak to do more than hold his friend with exhausted and injured arms, too numb and drugged up to recognize how badly Keigo needs his own rest.
But those monitoring the pair notice. Once the sheen of sweat appears on the winged hero's brow, AC units kick on and send cooling air humming into the room. Can't have their ace product overheat while he's coddling the blown-out experimental weapon.
"You'll get burned..." For the first time, Touya's mind clears just enough to realize what it meant if Keigo continued to stay near him. Nothing about the people around them or how important Hawks was to the world of heroes, but the reality that the person he cares about most could get hurt if he stayed close. Of course he wanted him to stay, needed him to, but if he didn't say the words, at least acknowledge the possibility... Yet the idea of Keigo leaving him... look at what it did this time. The results still sat all around them, blackened walls, bodybags, Touya's own damaged body. He's not safe without Keigo. Nor does he want to be. The dependency clashes with his pride and hatred, but it's only a small war, waged in the back somewhere his mind isn't occupying at the moment. Later on, when they can talk better, it'll come up.
"Yeah..." Sleeping sounded good right now. His body's exhausted, the medicine continues to flow, and there has been a concentrated effort to save his life and prevent his body from turning into charcoal. Still so much work to do to stabilize him further and help, but those will come later, over the next few months. Skin grafts, burn cleans, new tissue, surgery, Hawks might hear of a strange benefactor who's interested in helping Touya with little regard to money, but information on that will be denied, though for now... sleeping beside his best friend is the best medicine. Fingers brush at his face and Touya sinks into Keigo's embrace. He can barely feel it, right there at the edge of his bandages. "You're... all I need... to feel better."
he keeps their color by using the blood of his retainers
But there will be time to think about that later. For now he needs to make sure Touya can rest and heal enough that they can make an escape. The last thing he wants is to have to move Touya in the condition he's in now, but as he watches Touya, strokes the bandaged head and listens to those words, he knows he'll do it if he has to. If he has to wheel Touya out of here on a stretcher with an IV still in his arm, he'll do it. But that isn't ideal. Keigo wants him to get better, and he knows he doesn't have the knowledge or skill to treat these kind of burns without doing more harm than good.
"I don't mind getting burned if it means I can stay with Touya," he coos softly to Touya as he leans in to press a soft kiss to a spot of hair between the layers of bandages. Slowly, he moves, slipping off Touya to sits beside him, wings shifting around them to keep hiding them. "Let's lay you down, okay? You'll be more comfortable." The way he moves away from Touya is slow, trying to reassure him that he isn't planning to just disappear again. But he does want to get Touya to lay down, to check some of his bandages, rearrange his clothes if he needs to. Clean up the blood on his face. He's gentle in the way he reaches and works Touya's grip from him, moving his hands to instead cup the side of Touya's head as he puts the other on his side.
"Do you want to lay on your side or your back?" Slowly, Keigo's wings pull back, out of the way to let them move without being disturbed or hindered any further than they already are with Touya's injuries. Briefly, his gaze flicks to the IV, checking the level on it, the length of its line, before glancing back at Touya. Without his wings surrounding them, the air feels cooler already, and he wonders briefly how much the other can feel it. Has he burned himself so badly that he's started to or already has lost feeling? The thought makes his brows furrow, eyes flicking across the rows of bandages, trying to find where some of them end and skin might begin. It's hard to tell right now, but he'll know in time, he hopes.
*dib dib dib*
Their friendship and dependence on each other hadn't gone unnoticed over all these years.
Touya's eyes never go beyond half-open the entire time, gazing with varying degrees of focus as the world drifts around him in a state of fuzz and tactile comfort. Keigo's hands and fingers touch him, putting pressure on his body, sparking faint pain every now and then when he reaches a particularly shallow-burned area on his jaw or neck or arm. He's not sure if that's a phantom pain or real. Everything's pretty surreal right now. But Keigo's here and that's what's important.
"Mhn..." It's supposed to be grumpy, when Keigo leans in to kiss him on the head. Kind of nudges him to the side too. But when his friend makes to move from him and slip off, Touya instinctively tightens his hands in the hero's clothes. "Don't..." His voice quivers at the edges, immediately afraid that his friend's leaving him again. What if it's a dream? What if he wakes up and he's not here? If he's alone, left behind, just like they said? Shirt and pants drag against his fingers, too weak to keep a firm enough grip to prevent Keigo from moving where he wants, but enough to stretch his shirt and pull protesting lines along the fabric. Only after his friend sits beside him and talks to him does Touya realize he's not being abandoned.
Lie down... right... He's not sure if he'll be more comfortable like that or staying where he was. Tired eyes lift to golden, exhausted and yet pleading with him not to disappear again. He couldn't... he couldn't handle that. Everyone's abandoned him, rejected him, his father, his family, his handlers... As his hand's gently pulled from Keigo's hips, he lets his arms fall to his sides, leaning into he hands cupping the sides of his head. Takes a few seconds, but Touya's coaxed down onto his side, legs still dangling off the bed cause he couldn't summon the strength to move them by himself.
"Back." There are burns on his back as well, but the side is too awkward to sleep on, since he'd end up rolling onto his front or back at some point in the night. The IV remains at a low level, enough to keep his pain down, but not enough to knock him out. Though there's only a thin change between the two results. One tweak would put Touya unconscious. He doesn't feel the cooler air, cold never bothering him even before he burned himself alive. But he lets Keigo move him, eventually lying on his back, legs on the bed, arms by his side, gazing up at the ceiling with a glazed expression that's not entirely there. The emotional drain of waking up and being without Keigo, only to find him back with him and returned... so much. Too much.
It's at that time a pair of doctors are going to come in, to check on Touya's vitals and the drips. They won't try to shoo Keigo out of the room, so he's free to stay and watch. But... in order to treat Touya with the surgeries and processes needed to help him recover, the safest way to do that is to put him in a medically induced coma.
If they do... he'll be sleeping for the next three years.
okay three year timeskip, lmk if this works??
works for me!
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