The time spent here has often forced Keigo to do things he doesn't want to or accept choices that were made for him. And he knows the same can be said for Touya on a much larger scale. So when the doctors come in to check in on Touya, he can feel the the anger that rises in his chest. The frustration of knowing that another choice will be out of his hands. It's enough that he can feel the ends of those red feathers sharpening, wings half spreading in what is no doubt a warning. It's something that immediately has the doctors attention, and there's something satisfying in the look of worry and fear that creases their expressions. What it must be like to be trapped between two people capable of ruining you with so little effort...
There's frantic talk to try and keep Keigo from acting, and he remains still and quiet as he watches them work. They're doing this for Dabi's safety. To make him better. It's what they keep telling him, but Keigo says nothing beyond a dangerously calm correction, "Touya. His name is Touya." The doctors stutter to correct themselves but they do, in the end. Keigo doesn't disturb them as they work. And it's only after a long moment of standing there watching them treat Touya's injuries after they've knocked him out that Keigo realizes what has to happen. Touya needs help if he's going to survive this, and he'll never get better if he's awake and forced to endure the emotional and physical traumas of this place. When the doctor's induce the coma, Keigo is there. Holding Touya's hand and promising that he'll be here when he wakes up. Promise promise.
And he's meant that promise.
In the course of three years, Keigo trains hard. It comes off as him doing what he's told, being the perfect weapon and growing into his role. But for Keigo, it's about getting stronger so when Touya wakes up, they can go. He learns the ins and outs of the facility, watches the others and slowly starts to pick apart the weaknesses in security, in the heroes that lurk in the halls. None of them will see it coming. After all, what danger is there in the obedient bird who has only ever showed its talons once before.
When he's not training, he's at Touya's bedside. He spends as much time as he can at his side, never quite knowing when something will change and Touya will finally open his eyes. Keigo wants to be there when that happens more than anything. He wants Touya to know that he's waited for him all this time, that he's never left his side. That even after all of this, his love for Touya is still burning strong. No one - nothing - has filled the hole in his chest meant only for Touya. Keigo tells the unconscious teen every time he sees him how much he loves him, how he's waiting. He knows Touya can't hear him, but some part of him desperately hopes he does. That he somehow can feel the weight of his words even in a coma.
His 18th birthday has finally passed, and Keigo is still there. Still waiting. He'll be ready to become a hero all on his own soon, but none of that matters to him even when he tells them he's excited to be one. That he won't let them down. Words he knows they want to hear, a situation he's learned to manipulate with their training.
Today, he's perched on the edge of the hospital bed. He's carefully wiping at Touya's skin, washing him the same way he has for the last three years. Every stroke of the warm cloth over his skin is slow and gentle, mindful of what has long since healed and what is still fresh after yet another surgery. He can't do much for Touya without being a doctor, but at least he can do this. Gentle and loving in every way he touches him. When he isn't talking to Touya's unmoving body, he makes familiar soft coos. Anything to show Touya the kindness and affection he deserves even if he isn't conscious to enjoy them.
"There's a new theater in Tokyo," he explains quietly, shifting on the edge of the bed and letting one wing spread to partially hide them just the way he used to when they were both awake. A conversation just for the two of them. "It has three screens. It's supposed to be the ultimate movie goer experience. I want to take you there when you wake up. I've been saving up so we can take a trip, just the two of us. Anywhere you want to go." He presses the cloth to Touya's neck and cheek, wipes his face carefully along the healing seams of skin grafts and scars. When he's done, he sets the cloth in the bowl he'd been dipping it into, slides his hand into Touya's instead as he leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. He lingers there, eyes closed, remembering a time when he could hear Touya's voice. See those blue eyes looking back at him. One day, he hopes. One day, he'll see them again.
Too drugged up to be angry when the orderlies came in. Mild annoyance at best, a shadow of the burning rage that took such a toll on the facility and its staff. With Keigo's presence, there's no attempt to do anything untowards the other man, and even if the doctors have simmering irritation against Touya for what he did, the two nurses working under them to help him don't care about what the others were feeling. They're here to save the life of Enji's abandoned son. Of course the man had heard about what happened, but his reaction remains a mystery to both Keigo and Touya, as Touya never had the chance to ask (or the mental capacity to do so after coming out of his unconsciousness post-rampage) and Keigo was never told if he did ask. But whoever was funding them to care for Touya was obviously interested in making sure the young man didn't die from his injuries.
But ultimately, the option falls to a medically induced coma. There's no way for Touya to live in the constant pain as his burned body tries to heal, the skin grafts that are required would be excruciating, and the surgeries to help his damaged internal organs would mean he'd be going in and out of unconsciousness anyways. It would be best if he simply remained asleep, unable to stress his body any further beyond the realm of simply staying alive. One of the nurses silently apologizes to Keigo with her eyes as the injection is administered. Touya was never awake for the entire thing, moved from his and Keigo's room to the medical wing, a special area prepared for him which would be his "home" for the duration of the coma. Machines, equipment, everything needed to keep him alive as the monumental task of repairing him came to bear. His mysterious benefactor remained in the shadows, but did send their regards and a fond, firm wish to see Touya once again waking in the future. A bright star need not be extinguished.
Back and forth, back and forth. Charred flesh removed, carefully replaced with a regenerative tissue that grafts onto his muscles and what lower layer of skin managed to escape the fires consuming him. Surgeries to repair and help his damaged organs, preferring to avoid the risk of interpersonal transplants taxing his recovering body further and instead augmenting his burned guts with surprising "clones" of Touya's own organs from his benefactor. They can't go fast either, but must work in small parts, waiting between operations to ensure the newly-grafted piece will take. Gentle encouragements from medicines and supplements continue to drift through the IV tubes, coaxing Touya's body not to give up.
Hawks is allowed to his bedside, because the ones in charge are well aware that refusing him access to Touya (outside the surgeries) would be inviting disaster and rebellion within their star hero. Though depending on what's recently happened to the other teen, Keigo's usually required to go through a sterilization process and wear protective clothing, as any germs or harmful bacteria could wreak havoc on Touya's recovery. Still, on the days that he's allowed to safely visit his friend, the one nurse that seems most sympathetic to the two of them allows Keigo to help with Touya's "exercises", moving his body gently one piece at a time to help keep his muscles from atrophying and his skin from getting damaged as he lies motionless for days on end.
It's the beginning of January, the brief period of the year where Keigo and Touya share the same age before the 18th rolls around. Three long years for everyone else, and yet they've flashed by the comatose teen on the bed. He's grown, obviously, with his benefactor requiring the utmost care taken to ensure he won't wake up to a disheveled and ill-working body. The scarring is noticeable, faint flesh-colored wrinkling covering the lower half of his face like a rictus grin, a few patches of the same on his neck, arms, legs, and torso, but overall taken to by the young man's body. A few minor surgeries were slowly finishing their healing, but the last of the main bandages had come off a month or so ago, though the person who sponsored the entire thing had mentioned that the expected recovery had not been as well as they'd hoped. Touya would never be 100% of himself again, though he would be able to live at least. With training, his Quirk could be improved, though it remained doubtful if it would ever be able to return to its former glory and potential. Rather than deliberately wake him up, however, the doctors were ordered to let him sleep. His benefactor wanted to see him wake on his own, not forcefully discharged from it before his body was naturally ready.
Something shifts slightly under Keigo's chin, brushing against his skin. Faint and barely there. Eyelashes. Only barely opened, enough for the brief light to touch onto retinas that had seen darkness for months upon months. Immediately one of the machines changes its screen color, detecting a chance in Touya's brainwaves, though out of consideration for its comatose patient, remains silent as it sends out the message. A deeper breath draws in, inflating his lungs a bit more than they have been for three years. He's not sure, but he thinks he heard something a moment ago... but what's blackness and what's waking, he doesn't know.
Until, with a rush, everything comes sweeping back. The facility. The fire. Keigo-!
Touya's eyes snap open wide and in one moment, he jerks upright, sitting in bed like a jack in the box springing to life. One arm flopping against the sheets since it's still tethered to the IV and not as awake as the other one. The loose hospital shirt he's wearing sags a bit around his collarbones, and the monitoring patch on his temple dangles its thin wire down against his cheek. Where... where is he? Is he still in the facility? The fire--! No... wait, the fire was... He's alive? He thought that was just a dream. That Keigo was... But no, he came back, he remembers his voice! He heard it just no- ... w...
It's then that his sweeping blue eyes land on the very person he'd been thinking of. Keigo... He's there. Sitting on his bed. And all Touya can do is stare at him.
As much as he wishes it were different, Keigo knows there isn't much he can do for Touya as he is. So what Keigo does whatever and whenever he can. Whether that's giving him a sponge bath whenever his injuries safe enough for him to clean over and around or helping keep his limbs moving in hopes of preserving whatever he can. It never feels like anywhere close to being enough, but he does it. Does anything and everything he can. And when he's not at Touya's bedside or on a mission, he's found ways to stealthily get things ready for when the day comes that they'll be able to leave.
He wishes he could tell Touya what the plan is. That he's worked out deals with more than a few people out in town. Done enough community service and acts of kindness to earn the trust, kindness, and aid of various people. People who can help them get away from this place, others who will help turn the heat elsewhere. People who want to help the bright-eyed hero in his time of need. None of them know all the details, of course. Only bits and pieces here and there that might never fully align to something they can make sense of even if they'd talked to each other. No one can really know what he's planning, after all, if he wants to get Touya out safely.
But what he tells Touya instead of little things about what will happen when they are free. Things the bosses have dismissed as silly dreams of a boy with crush that he'll grown out of when he realizes that Touya is going nowhere, will never be anything. And as much as it angers Keigo to know that's the way they feel, it works. Letting them think he'll grow out of his friendship and dedication to Touya can only work in his favor. It's all part of the long game.
Keigo isn't sure how much longer he has until Touya wakes up, but regardless, things are ready for when it happens. What he doesn't expect is for it to happen now.
That faint brush under his chin makes him pause, and for a second, he thinks he's imagining. That he wants so badly for Touya to wake up that his brain is making him think he actually is. Only, he sees that screen change color. It's enough that Keigo sits up straight, reading over the numbers, taking them in with a desperate hope that this is finally it. That Touya will wake up any second now. He feels his heart hammer in his chest, and without thinking, he keeps his wrapped around Touya's and gives just the smallest squeeze. A hint of pressure to tell his waking mind that he's there.
When Touya sits up so abruptly, eyes open, his free hand reaches out, presses to his back to give him support as he scoots closer on the bed. "It's okay, it's okay," he coos softly, trying to breathe through his own excitement and happiness. He can feel his eyes starting to sting, overwhelmed by the sight of Touya sitting here. Awake. Looking at him. There's a flash of a thought that what if Touya doesn't recognize him? Or worse, doesn't remember him? But he slams those thoughts down immediately in favor of focusing.
"Hey, Tou." Keigo finally breathes out, smiling softly as he rubs his thumb gently against the back of the other teen's hand. Touya's awake. Touya's finally awake, and Keigo feels like he can't breathe.
There's a hand on his back, his heart is going a million miles an hour, brain full of everything and nothing simultaneously. He can't see at all, but only because there's so much flooding his eyes that his mind isn't able to make sense of it all at once. This massive sensory overload is almost enough to knock his right back into unconsciousness. Except for the hand on his back... it's grounding him, like a lightning rod collecting and directing all the different charges being sent around it. Slowly by slowly, things begin to fall into place, his mind is able to gather and take in what's being poured into his eyes and ears. Waking back up.
It's okay. It's okay. That voice drifts into his ears, coming with it the faint coo he's so quick to remember. Yet when he looks to the side of him, it's... it's definitely Keigo, but he looks different. He looks older. Changed. Wings bigger, he might be taller, his hair's a different style than he remembers. But those details come rapid fire and vanish a second later as he tries to figure out what's going on. Yes, he remembers him, but the recognition is coming a bit slower thanks to the differences. For a moment, he thinks he's dreaming, unable to tell if this is real or not. It's hard to... feel things now that he thinks about it.
Even the hand around his own is somewhat numb. Like he's fading towards the pins-and-needles sensation, but never getting there. His hand curls around Keigo's, less out of instinct and more because he consciously tells it to do so. No it's... it's numb. He can't feel him as much. The pressure of his fingertips against the other boy's knuckles registers, but the warmth of his hand and the softness of his skin are in some midway state between able to feel and only remembering what it should feel like. Temperature and texture are difficult, though pressure is easier. It's confusing and he doesn't know why. The bandages all over his arms, the strange white shirt he's wearing, there's something attached to his wrist, what... what's going on?
"What happened? Where... where am I? Keigo?" As if the other boy has the answers. Only to tense up and his free hand flies up to his face, his mouth. That's-! That's not his voice! That doesn't sound like him! Not the him he remembers! "My voice-?!"
The panic is expected, all things concerned. If he had been in a medically induced coma for three years, he's sure he'd be confused and probably a little distressed as well. But even so, Keigo stays calm in the face of Touya's reactions.
He sits quietly, careful not to move out of worry of distressing Touya any further. It seems for a moment that he might be settling, and the soft noises Keigo makes continue. An attempt at continuing to soothe him and offering something that was familiar among so many things that had changed since the last time Touya was awake.
"It's me," he begins softly, watching Touya's face to try and gauge his expression. But the sudden surprise and the hand flying up to Touya's face have him moving, the hand not on the other's back moving to instead catch his hand. "Hey," he starts, offering a soft and warm smile. It doesn't show what he really feels, the rise of worry and anxiety in his chest. But he's learned to hide all that in these few years. To keep all of that hidden away behind an easy smile or a mask of indifference. It isn't something he'd ever wanted to use on Touya, but right now, he needs to. He knows they don't have long until someone makes their way into the room to check on the newly awakened Touya.
"You were in a coma for three years. You're still here, in the facility with me," he starts, trying to get the most pressing details out of the way. "You had to have a lot of surgeries to help you heal some. So you look a little different than before. Your voice changed too, like the rest of you. It's going to be a lot. But I need you to relax for me, Tou." He releases Touya's hand in favor of reaching out, gently stroking a hand over the white hair. "If you freak out or get upset, they're going to panic, too. So just breathe for me, alright? Nice and slow."
Keigo breathes in slowly and exhales much the same, trying to show Touya what he means and encourage him to copy.
Confused? A little distressed? Those feelings are barely scraping the tip o the iceberg of sheer existential crisis--again. Three years?! The last thing he remembers is fire. A brief glimmer of Keigo. Was it a dream? Pain. Darkness. People. It's all a jumbled mess in his head, memories of past times wanting to rush in and somehow fill this void he's being told is there.
Keigo looks different, his voice sounds different, even the hand pressed against his own mouth feels different, the feeling itself feels different! Oh god-! Is- Is that his face?! Wh- what happened to his skin?! There's something on it?! UNDER IT?! It doesn't feel smooth, but instead kind of... not wrinkled, but... like a scar. Different. Is that his skin?! What happened to his face?!
The soft noises Keigo's making only briefly manage to calm Touya's panicked response, a flicker of reminder before he finds something else to shock him. His hand's caught by another one and he jerks his eyes down to stare at it, wide blue eyes gawking at the other boy-- no he's-- he's not a boy? He's grown up! He's older! Touya's fingers quiver, every muscle in his body contracting and stretching under his skin like it might jump out and run away. He feels like doing just that. Run away. This isn't real. Run away! RUN AWAY!
Hey.
It's that voice again, that catches his reactions. Touya whips his head and eyes up so fast he might've given himself a lash in the brain from the speed. A bit of headrush happens anyways. Gaping at Keigo's soft smile. That... that used to bring him calm, right? He can trust it... right? Right? The machines around him can't be trusted, there are things sitting on him, a wire coming out (off) the side of his head, and the room itself is stark and strange. But Keigo's there.
"Thr-... three years?" His voice again, cracked and hoarse from disuse, not sounding at all like him, and he shuts his mouth instantly, afraid of his own voice. If he doesn't say it, doesn't use it, it won't be true. The facility. Still here. Surgeries. Healing. Right... the fire. He burned up. So much fire. The pain and rage... it's hard to remember at the moment, but he knows that's true for sure. Look a little different. Voice ch-
The rest of you?!
Three years. Logic trickles in slightly. Keigo's telling him to relax and he knows he should, but... A hand settles on his hair and Touya blinks for a second. Before scrambling for Keigo's other hand. Needing to touch it, needing that tether to reality. If it's gone, he's gonna be in a dream again, gonna wake up, or sleep, or burn, he doesn't know! Breathe... freak out... get upset... WHICH ONE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?! ALL OF THEM?!
He tries, honestly tries, to imitate Keigo's breathing. And basically hyperventilates immediately.
Keigo wouldn't blame Touya if he outright lost it from just sitting here. He thinks it's some strange miracle that he hasn't yet. But he's sure it's not far off given how the frantic reactions and the way his voice cracks. Still, he tells himself it's fine. This is fine. Touya can freak out, but he knows how to stay calm and soothe others. He thinks he still knows how to do it for Touya.
Their breathing doesn't match the way he wants it to, and his wings flick sharply at the vibrations that come from the hearing the sound of Touya's breathing. Think, Keigo, think.
It's only a few seconds before he's scoots closer, close enough now that their thighs are pressed together. His hands work themselves free of the other's and he reaches out quickly to wind them around Touya. There's no hesitation in the way he draws him closer, one arm around his back at the other hand reaches to curl into the white hair to gently press his head down and against a covered shoulder. As he does, his wings stretch and move, trap them inside a familiar cage of feathers that blocks out most of the light, help lessen some of the sounds of the machine around them.
"It's okay, Tou. Take your time." Soft words followed by familiar and gentle coos. His fingers comb slowly through the white hair, and Keigo closes his own eyes to let his senses fully focus on the other. "Take as much time as you need. I'm here. I'm always going to be here." Distantly, Keigo wonders if Touya even remembers how close they'd been. If he remembers anything leading up to his coma.
His mind instantly panics when he feels fingers pulling against his own. Keigo is trying to draw his hands out of his and Touya freaks out completely. A ragged noise of protest, unable to even form words as he grabs at his hands, literally fighting the other boy to keep his hand in his own. Chasing his arm, reaching for him, tightening his grip and refusing to let go even as the winged hero tries to pull his hand free of that desperate hold.
Don't let him go! Don't pull away! His mind can't take the thought of it being a dream. Of the image of Keigo vanishing from his life again as the other man tries to free himself. If he's left alone-- If he's send back to that darkness--!
A solid bump against his leg, however, snaps his attention from the scrambling battle to keep Keigo's hand. Touching once more. He's here... he's really here. The pressure against his leg distracts him long enough for his companion to finally pry his hands free of Touya's grasp. A second later, that quick bridging the gap of thigh to thigh making it possible, Keigo's able to encompass the panicking teenager with in his wings without Touya shutting down in another mental cave in.
All of a sudden, it goes dark again. But this time, not from his closed eyes or the world blacking out, but because of a surrounding wall of red feathers and warm arms. A voice he's heard so many times in this very circumstance, talking to him and comforting him within the shield of Keigo's wings. Fingers wander through his hair. Pushing his head down to a warm shoulder as he's pulled into his embrace. Each breath continues fast and panicked, but they're not getting higher or faster, momentarily stunned into a plateau. Take his time... take his time...
It'll... it'll take a while. Working him down from this mind-racing freakout careening on the very edge of a mental breakdown. But... Keigo's the only person who could manage to bring Touya down from the brink.
Beyond the motion of his hand through the pale hair, Keigo keeps still. He's a quiet, solid support as they sit there, his fingers sliding through the other's hair slowly. A gesture meant to soothe him as the panicked breathing continues. "Just breathe," he says softly, keeping one hand on Touya's back. His thumb moves slowly, rubbing small shapes against one of the ridges along his spine. In a place where there are no stitches, where there's nothing to disturb.
"It's just you and me. Focus on my voice. Try to focus on the sound of my breathing."
His voice is soft and gentle, trying to guide Touya through the panic. It's not easy. It'll take time, but if he can just get him to breathe, to come down from where he's at, that's a good start. They can handle whatever comes after that together. The last thing he wants is for Touya to break here, to lose himself to smoke and flames again, and ruin his body all over again. That's a pain he doesn't want the other teen to have to endure again. He can't imagine having to sit here again, to watch as Touya undergoes more surgeries and treatments to try and salvage his body. It always just brings him back to the idea that he needs to get Touya out of here.
Keigo pushes those thoughts out of his mind in favor of keeping his own breathing steady and even. The motions of his hands continue slowly, trying to make sure it's something Touya can focus on in the safety of the embrace of his wings.
Just breathe. How ironic that such an obvious "command" would be so damn hard to follow. He's breathing too fast, too much, hyperventilating as fast as his lungs can take his air. But the more Keigo remains with him, touches him, proves he is in fact here with him and not gone away forever, the more that reality begins to return to Touya's burned-up mind. He's really here, he's really back, he's not a ghost, not some fake, but physical, tangible, bringing with him the scent of the air and the familiar feeling of his presence that Touya grew up with for all those years.
Just you and me.
He wants to believe it so badly. Ever so slowly, the cold inhale against Keigo's shoulder and neck begins to dwindle, Touya's lightheaded rush starting to ease as his racing heart and panic take a step back from the harrowing brink. Too weak to manage his flames right now, all that can give is the rising warmth of his body to the peak of his frantic moments. But even that is starting to cool as Keigo coaxes and guides him. Fingers reluctantly, unconsciously, start surrendering their death grip on his shirt and limb. Minutes pass, but it's eventually becoming more apparent there won't be another inferno blazing through the scorched hallways. No more damage to Touya's body at the moment.
Each pass of Keigo's hands helps with that. Each rub of his wings, each passing second on the darkness of their envelope coaxes the other teenager down from his high. Minutes and minutes... but eventually, it's enough. Left holding him, left breathing, left cooling...
For Keigo, it feels like years waiting for Touya to come back down. He knows this situation is a lot to take in, would be overwhelming for anyone, and he can't begin to imagine what the other might be feeling... But it feels like he's holding a bomb in a way. That if he doesn't say the right thing, Touya will explode all over again. That's the last thing he wants. There isn't any concern for himself in any potential situation where Touya lights up again. No, all that worry is focused on Touya and the damage he'll do to himself.
But Keigo's learned in the last few years how to hide all of that. The gentle motions of his hands, the soft words, and careful caress of his feathers, none of them give away how Keigo feels inside. Not the worry, not the stress, not the sadness or anger that come with the memories of what put Touya into that this bed in the first place. There's just a gentleness that comes easily these days with training that's told him to be what other's need, what to say and how to act, how to read them. And right now, Touya needs him and reassurance that he's still here. He can do that. He's always been able to do that.
"Still with me?" He prompts softly after a moment, wings shifting slightly so he can let some of that building heat escape from the cage of his wings before he's curling them closely around him again. There's a gentle nudge of his lips and nose against the older teen's temple. "We can stay here as long as you need."
For as ready to explode as Touya is, the constant reminder that Keigo is there continues to push ice onto his heat. Dragging away at the compacted burn inside threatening to erupt into another blaze all over again. What they'd said, how they'd lied, the only person who ever gave a shit about him beyond his power being taken away to return nevermore... Was it any wonder that he'd exploded and gone on a hellish rampage through the area? Burning people, items, structures, himself. There was no reason for any of it to exist. No reason for him to exist. So why not take as much of this cursed place with him?
Thoughts like that seem to drift away the longer Keigo holds him. No more focusing on the pain and loss, but rather the incredulous sensation of having the only person he had grown close to back with him. Hands touching his body, carding through his hair, wings wrapped around him in a way he'd never felt for several years, but always remained in his mind as memories of that childhood stolen from him. Touya can't tell that all Keigo is doing to him is simply things he'd been trained to do. He grasps onto it without hesitation. It's the only way he's going to get through this without destroying everything around him.
"Uh-huh..." The noise is quiet, voice different from the boy Keigo had left behind. Deeper, sullen, a changed person within the confines of those red wings. Lips brush against his temple and Touya ducks his head closer to Keigo's chest, settling in the embrace. Still with him. Burned but alive. Not dead yet despite looking like he should be.
The longer they sit there, Keigo finds his own thoughts trailing off. He thinks about the years they've spent together, all the little things they've learned about each other, what they've said to one another that they've never said to anyone else. It makes him ache to think about how all of that had gone up in flames because the people here, the things they've said and done to Touya... He doesn't want that life for him.
More than anything, he wants to drag Touya out of this bed, out of this place, somewhere where they never have to worry about anyone hurting them. He wishes it was that easy.
He feels the way Touya tucks himself against his chest, and he adjusts his hold reflexively. He littles carefully to the sound of the other's breathing, lets his attention split briefly to take in the world around them more intently. He can hear the voices of the doctors and staff nearby. Chattering impatiently about needing to go inside, but they all resist. They know the risk of what will happen if they make the wrong move, and he knows none of them want to roll those dice.
"Does anything hurt?" He wonders softly, letting his fingers pass through Touya's hair drift lower, finding a scar to touch softly. Gauging a reaction - checking for pain but also his friend's control.
So much went up in flame. Including Keigo. He'd resisted their words for a long time, but eventually, the pressure and disappointments took their toil, resulting in the rage and despair of being both alone and a failure. Despite his weakened state right now, the memories remain and Touya has zero regret for the damage and deaths he wrought on the institution that housed him all this time. Even if Keigo is back now, the burned man has had a taste of the other side...
Freedom. Walking free without the rules holding him down, seeing their faces washed in heat as the looks of horror and realization was flash-fried into blackened skulls. Look what they wrought. They wanted a weapon. They got it.
And it can turn where it wants.
Those realizations settle within his chest as Touya rests against Keigo's body. Breathing softening, eyes closing, the panic from his waking and the trauma from the experience slowly easing down now that Keigo is here. Luckily his mind is elsewhere so he doesn't hear the people talking around them, doesn't hear the words said. Instead, Touya continues to unconsciously internalizes the feelings from that time. He can deal with them later. For now, he's content to rest.
"No. Just feels numb." Honestly, he can't feel any pain at all. Even with the damage to his body. Maybe because of it. The sensations are faded, even the brush of Keigo's wings almost imperceptible on his skin. He can feel his hand in his hair, on the nape of his neck, but it's mostly pressure only. Perhaps the pain will come back later... who knows.
Given the amount of surgeries and skin grafts, Keigo isn't surprised to hear that. The different doctors had told him that was a possibility between Touya's flames and medical procedures, but he isn't thrilled about it. Far from it. It's yet another reminder of how much this place has done to the other, and it makes a familiar anger simmer under his skin. Something he knows how to hide now, but it still lingers under the surface.
"No pain is good," he offers softly as he lifts one hand to stroke it over Touya's hair gently. No pain and calm. Touya's in a good place for the moment, and the last thing he wants to do is disturb him, but the doctors do need to check him. Something he knows could go badly very quickly if it's not handled right. Touya's fragile, and Keigo doesn't know how much it'll take before he starts to crack.
He nudges a hand softly at the other's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere," he starts gently, "but the doctors need to look at you. Will you be okay? I'll be right at the foot of your bed the entire time."
While Keigo's able to hide his anger under the surface, Touya's remains visible on the surface, even if it's currently muted by his exhaustion and bandages. Tired and numb, his mind occasionally flickers to the memories of that rampage, how it felt, what it sounded like, the emotions that welled up inside him. He doesn't know if all of it will come back with clarity over time or if only a few pieces will return with attachments. But what he does know is that it changed him.
And there's no going back.
"Maybe." Touya doesn't know if a lack of pain is good. It might sound good on the surface, but pain is what tells a body something is wrong. He could break a bone or get a cut and not know until he's made the damage worse. And if he can't feel anything at all, life's going to be a fucking lonely existence. There's some mild relief in that he can feel Keigo's fingers in his hair, even if it's more a vague pressure and recollection at the moment. Phantom sensation.
The nudge draws him out of his quiet moment and the promise Keigo makes earns another round of relaxation as Touya sinks against him. Eyes closing, resting, breathing easier. "They can look tomorrow," he murmurs, voice curt and unlike the boy Keigo had grown up with. "I'll kill 'em if they try today." Something far more detached and uncaring.
The last thing Keigo wants is for Touya to be numb to anything - physical or emotional. But for now, finally awake after too many surgeries, he's grateful his friend isn't in physical pain. He knows that if that were the case, it'd mean more face time with doctors and specialists, and there's no doubt in his mind that Touya wants to stay far away from them.
Eyes closing as his hands move through Touya's hair again, he can remember those scorch marks. The sight of Touya covered in blood and bandages after everything had happened. He's had years to learn to cope with the anger those memories bring, the hatred that simmers under his skin for what they'd done to ruin his only friend, the only person he loves. But for Touya, it's all still too fresh. Those doctors are in danger for simply just existing this close to Touya.
That's something Keigo becomes even more keenly aware of as the older teen speaks. It doesn't sound like the boy he'd known for so long, but someone else. And as he continues, speaking like that... He knows that boy he'd grown to love had been burned away. It should upset him, should make his heart ache more than it already does. Instead, all Keigo feels is the way his own resolve to take them away from here burn hotter. He promises himself he'll protect Touya this time; he won't let him suffer alone like that again. It doesn't matter if he can never have the old Touya back, he'll take care of this new one the way he should have the boy he grow up with.
"Tomorrow," he echoes softly, adjusting his hold around Touya, and this time, it's so he can tip them gently onto their sides to lay down in the too small bed. "You should save your strength. You'll need it." It's not scolding or telling the other he shouldn't hurt or kill others. It's his way of saying they'll leave this place, and the unfortunate reality of it is that Touya will need his strength for them to do it.
Unfortunately, the numbness is permanent. That's what happens when someone basically immolates himself for several minutes. Even with the surgeries and regenerative tissue grafts, the damage was too severe to heal Touya back to normal. The scars are there to stay, though there's no telling at the moment whether their presence would get worse or remain faded over time. When the bandages come off, it'll probably show the full story of Touya's damages.
Touya lets himself rest again as Keigo runs his fingers through his hair, taking comfort in the gentle gestures. He doesn't feel any regret for what happened, save for not being able to bring this entire place down in the inferno. But at the moment, he's too tired and overwhelmed to dwell on such thoughts. All he wants to do is focus on Keigo's presence. Rest finally seems an attractive option. He can deal with anything else later if Keigo's with him.
"Aa." Yeah. Tomorrow. That sounds good. Touya notes the soft tilt and realizes Keigo's lying them down. He has to let the other man do it for him, limbs too tired to do much on their own after the rush of emotion from the reunion. Lying on his side in the embrace of Keigo's wings is a pleasant experience, reminding him of the times they'd done the same as kids. "All right." Save his strength. Good idea. No reprimand or counseling. Unaware of what Keigo's planning, Touya simply closes his eyes and lets himself relax, quickly finding sleep in his friend's presence.
Keigo is mindful of the way he holds onto Touya as he lets himself drift off to sleep beside him a few minutes after the other teen's breathing evens out to indicate he'd fallen asleep. A part of him is over the moon to be able to do this again after so long - to fall asleep curled up with the only person he's ever cared about. To know that Touya can finally respond to him, talk to and touch him. It's an strange happiness he knows he'll have to contain once they're out of this tiny bed.
True to his word, Keigo keeps the doctors and nurses off Touya until the evening the following day. Even then, he keeps close, always within reach and prepared to tell someone to stop or give them distance if Touya needs it. That's how they spend the next week or so as well - Touya carefully observed by the doctors who are being intently watched by Keigo. And Keigo dismisses any requests (demands) really for him to do any training that takes him away from Touya's side for more than an hour or so. Keigo knows they want to argue, but they won't. As far as everyone is concerned, Touya is a ticking time bomb, and Keigo is the only person who can stop him.
When Touya is finally given the blessing to leave the hospital bed he'd been confined to, bandages mostly gone except for a few things that are in the final stages of healing, Keigo is happy to lead him out of the medical wing. One bare hand is curved around Touya's as they walk, keeping close enough that their shoulders can gently brush one another at they go. "I kept our room the same. I thought it'd be nice if we made changes to it together," he muses as he opens the door to their room. Sure enough, it's the same beyond a couple of small things like the addition of a few books, a taller dresser to accommodate the need for bigger clothes and accessories, and Touya's pillow is nestled beside Keigo's on the blond's bed. But otherwise, it's much the same. Not that Keigo has any intention of the two of them staying here long enough for this place to need any changes. They'll be out of here soon enough.
"We can sleep in your bed, if you want. I've been washing the sheets every week so they were clean for you." He'd never given up hope that the other would wake up, after all. He'd told anyone who asked that Touya would come back to him, and he was right. Something he seems incredibly happy about as he herds the other teen to sit on the edge of his old bed. "Do you want to see some of the magazines I saved for you? I found new places for us to go when it's time for us to live on our own."
He doesn't wait for an answer, grabbing one of the magazines before climbing onto the bed to scoot close to Touya. Opening the magazine, he flips through a few pages before stopping and setting it across their laps. "It isn't open all the time, but I'll find out how we can get special passes." It's a big mall, but that's not what he's concerned with showing Touya. The place his finger lands on the page is a store front and the doors are the exact shape and size of the ones that keep their living quarters and medical from the rest of the facility. "We go here and once we're done," he drags his finger towards the brightly lit exit sign among the bustling scene, tapping it, "we'll go here. It'll probably be busy, though. If we go early or maybe later at night, it shouldn't be too bad."
What he's telling Touya sounds innocent enough, but what he means is entirely different. He'll get them an access card to get into the other part of the facility, and they'll escape from there. They can figure out the best time depending on the schedule in the next few days.
So long as Keigo isn't absent when the doctors are in his room and inspecting him, Touya's mostly cold and callous to the medics. He seems to tolerate them more than anything else, eyes lidded and expression wavering between tired and annoyed. Despite his flames being weak right now thanks to the damage ravaged across his body, his attitude suggests that if pushed too hard, he'd ignite with little care to the outcome. One final burst to try and finish what he started.
But none of those things happen. Apparently the destruction and death's Touya had wrought on his rampage had cast enough of a ghost around the staff to avoid it. Probably to no one's surprise, he's more awake and alert whenever it's just him and Keigo visiting in the hospital room. Still, his exhaustion and recovery take a toll and Touya ends up sleeping most of the time as the days tick on. The scars and regenerative tissues go hand-in-hand on his body, that T-shaped rictus grin permanently etched into his face. At least everything's the same color, though Touya heard one of the nurses say "for now" in regards to his body's ability to stay in its current state. What would happen if he tried to use his flames like this?
... just how useless is he going to be now ..
As Keigo leads him away from the medical wing, Touya's eyes wander about the halls and passing rooms. He holds his friend's hand, not minding the way their shoulders bump against each other's as they go. Feels like it's been forever since he saw this place; it's been three years after all. Oh, Keigo's saying something.
"We're going to change it?" Touya sounds confused about why they'd bother doing that. Most of the rooms are the same, little in the way of personality unless it's somehow required. But he pauses upon seeing their room again. Particularly the bed with two pillows on it. The scene brings back memories and feelings, causing a quiet well of the sensations in Touya's chest. Soft, but weak. Enough that his expression relaxes, but a smile fails to appear.
"But my pillow's on your bed." Touya takes a seat on the bed's edge, resting his hands on the rim for a few seconds before smoothing his fingers and palms across the surface. The sensation's faint, numb, in that he can feel it's soft, but not anything like he could still remember. So he stops doing that and simply rests his hands on his lap instead. Magazines? Touya lifts his head and glances at Keigo again when he mentions new places to live. Right, they had... talked about that before. What to do when they left this place.
"Mh." That's the only response he can (or wants) to give, since Keigo's already scooting over to him with the magazine. Turquoise eyes linger on the pages as they flip across the book, dropping as the document flops on his lap. A mall? He hasn't been to one of those... ever. But he focuses on the placement of Keigo's finger instead, noting the door and the hallway, followed by the skim to the exit door. For a few seconds, he seems to simply take it as Keigo means it. But after the bit, his eyes lid and a different kind of focus wanders through his mind. "Later at night. Goin out with all those people's annoyin."
"We can change it, if you want. But we can worry about that later, when you're feeling better." Though he doesn't plan on sticking around long enough to need to now that Touya is awake and can mostly move around on his own. All he needs is for Touya to be strong enough to get out of here and to the place he's found for them to bed down for a couple days. If he needs to rest after that, he can. But he has to play the part here. To seem like the doting best friend excited to have his roommate and friend back. Not someone preparing to bring down a storm of sharpened quills if it means getting the pair of them out of here. And, more importantly, he's not sure if Touya's ever really going to 'feel better' after everything he's been through. Even now, he feels like such a hollow shell of his best friend that Keigo feels his own anger burning through whatever is left of his compassion for anyone in this place.
The people here did this to Touya. Enji Todoroki did this to Touya. And despite the bright smiles and carefree demeanor, Keigo will never forgive any of them for taking a part of Touya away from him.
He feels those familiar creeping thoughts, but instead of focusing on them, he tips his head gently against Touya's shoulder once it seems the other is understanding what he's saying. He wishes they could talk more freely, but he's sure they're being watched. They can't have their prized bird harmed, after all.
"Later sounds good." There's a soft hum of approval, and he's quiet for a moment as lets himself enjoy the moment. There's lots he wants to ask as they sit there, but he's not sure where to start. Instead of speaking right away, he starts with neatly sliding the magazine away before letting one of his hands slide under Touya's, letting the other teen decide if he wants to hold it properly or not. "Hey, Touya," he wonders after a moment, voice soft where his head is perched on the other's shoulder. "Do you remember what happened?"
It's a dangerous question to ask, and Keigo knows it. But he needs to know what's going through Touya's head, how much of that rage is still simmering under the surface, and just what might be the spark to ignite another inferno.
"Yeah." Touya doesn't sound like he's up for doing any kind of planning. It took a while for his brain to even grasp that Keigo was talking some kind of code for getting out of the facility. Getting out... huh. The idea seems like a vague shape in the clouds, potentially there, but is it worth going for? He thinks it might be only so since he's weak right now. Leaving this place behind would be amazing. While Touya's strong enough to move around and recuperate after the surgeries and efforts placed on getting his body back to as recovered as possible, there's little strength in his limbs to actually make for breaking out of the would-be-fortress. But hearing Keigo talking about such a thing and knowing his friend has the intention to leave makes the idea not an impossibility. Touya wants to... but he wants to be able to and not fail trying to make it happen. A few more days, a little bit of patience, wouldn't hurt him any more than it already has. He can bide his time and ensure they make out it. That's worth the wait. Enough to recharge. Heat up. Ready.
A soft bump against his shoulder pulls Touya from his thoughts and he glances down towards the feathered sandy blonde head he's grown up with. So many times he's felt this sensation and seen this sight. A little boy holding onto his hand, a smile on his face after Touya encouraged him that they'd get stronger. Now it seems the roles are reversed, with Keigo being the one to encourage him to stay strong and smile for him. Mah, smiling doesn't seem like a possibility right now, but at least he's calm and willing to rest without medication or antagonism towards the medics tending to him.
Touya's hand is moved rather than moving his hand himself. Lifted up, fingers curled a bit at the tips as Keigo slides his hand underneath his own. Once it's in his grip, however, the burned teen slowly closes his digits around the winged teen's. Whether it's 'proper' or not is up to Keigo to decide; Touya doesn't care. He cares more about the question leveled at him. For a while, he's left to think on his own. How much does he remember? There's a lot, actually.
"Depends on where ya want me to start." Does he remember the time away from Keigo? Does he remember the training he went through after Endeavor abandoned him? Does he remember getting the news Keigo would never be in his life again? Does he remember rampaging through the halls as his flames raged around him without control, incinerating people and scorching walls black, heedless of the damage he caused? Does he remember waking up and finding out how much of himself he'd destroyed? The answer is... yes. He remembers all of that. If asked to grab details right now, he probably could, though he's likely too tired to want to give Keigo a big report. "But I remember most of it."
Might be better to ask him what he doesn't remember... which is a stupid request.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
okay three year timeskip, lmk if this works??
Date: 6/21/22 18:02 (UTC)There's frantic talk to try and keep Keigo from acting, and he remains still and quiet as he watches them work. They're doing this for Dabi's safety. To make him better. It's what they keep telling him, but Keigo says nothing beyond a dangerously calm correction, "Touya. His name is Touya." The doctors stutter to correct themselves but they do, in the end. Keigo doesn't disturb them as they work. And it's only after a long moment of standing there watching them treat Touya's injuries after they've knocked him out that Keigo realizes what has to happen. Touya needs help if he's going to survive this, and he'll never get better if he's awake and forced to endure the emotional and physical traumas of this place. When the doctor's induce the coma, Keigo is there. Holding Touya's hand and promising that he'll be here when he wakes up. Promise promise.
And he's meant that promise.
In the course of three years, Keigo trains hard. It comes off as him doing what he's told, being the perfect weapon and growing into his role. But for Keigo, it's about getting stronger so when Touya wakes up, they can go. He learns the ins and outs of the facility, watches the others and slowly starts to pick apart the weaknesses in security, in the heroes that lurk in the halls. None of them will see it coming. After all, what danger is there in the obedient bird who has only ever showed its talons once before.
When he's not training, he's at Touya's bedside. He spends as much time as he can at his side, never quite knowing when something will change and Touya will finally open his eyes. Keigo wants to be there when that happens more than anything. He wants Touya to know that he's waited for him all this time, that he's never left his side. That even after all of this, his love for Touya is still burning strong. No one - nothing - has filled the hole in his chest meant only for Touya. Keigo tells the unconscious teen every time he sees him how much he loves him, how he's waiting. He knows Touya can't hear him, but some part of him desperately hopes he does. That he somehow can feel the weight of his words even in a coma.
His 18th birthday has finally passed, and Keigo is still there. Still waiting. He'll be ready to become a hero all on his own soon, but none of that matters to him even when he tells them he's excited to be one. That he won't let them down. Words he knows they want to hear, a situation he's learned to manipulate with their training.
Today, he's perched on the edge of the hospital bed. He's carefully wiping at Touya's skin, washing him the same way he has for the last three years. Every stroke of the warm cloth over his skin is slow and gentle, mindful of what has long since healed and what is still fresh after yet another surgery. He can't do much for Touya without being a doctor, but at least he can do this. Gentle and loving in every way he touches him. When he isn't talking to Touya's unmoving body, he makes familiar soft coos. Anything to show Touya the kindness and affection he deserves even if he isn't conscious to enjoy them.
"There's a new theater in Tokyo," he explains quietly, shifting on the edge of the bed and letting one wing spread to partially hide them just the way he used to when they were both awake. A conversation just for the two of them. "It has three screens. It's supposed to be the ultimate movie goer experience. I want to take you there when you wake up. I've been saving up so we can take a trip, just the two of us. Anywhere you want to go." He presses the cloth to Touya's neck and cheek, wipes his face carefully along the healing seams of skin grafts and scars. When he's done, he sets the cloth in the bowl he'd been dipping it into, slides his hand into Touya's instead as he leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. He lingers there, eyes closed, remembering a time when he could hear Touya's voice. See those blue eyes looking back at him. One day, he hopes. One day, he'll see them again.
"I love you, Tou."
works for me!
Date: 6/22/22 17:56 (UTC)But ultimately, the option falls to a medically induced coma. There's no way for Touya to live in the constant pain as his burned body tries to heal, the skin grafts that are required would be excruciating, and the surgeries to help his damaged internal organs would mean he'd be going in and out of unconsciousness anyways. It would be best if he simply remained asleep, unable to stress his body any further beyond the realm of simply staying alive. One of the nurses silently apologizes to Keigo with her eyes as the injection is administered. Touya was never awake for the entire thing, moved from his and Keigo's room to the medical wing, a special area prepared for him which would be his "home" for the duration of the coma. Machines, equipment, everything needed to keep him alive as the monumental task of repairing him came to bear. His mysterious benefactor remained in the shadows, but did send their regards and a fond, firm wish to see Touya once again waking in the future. A bright star need not be extinguished.
Back and forth, back and forth. Charred flesh removed, carefully replaced with a regenerative tissue that grafts onto his muscles and what lower layer of skin managed to escape the fires consuming him. Surgeries to repair and help his damaged organs, preferring to avoid the risk of interpersonal transplants taxing his recovering body further and instead augmenting his burned guts with surprising "clones" of Touya's own organs from his benefactor. They can't go fast either, but must work in small parts, waiting between operations to ensure the newly-grafted piece will take. Gentle encouragements from medicines and supplements continue to drift through the IV tubes, coaxing Touya's body not to give up.
Hawks is allowed to his bedside, because the ones in charge are well aware that refusing him access to Touya (outside the surgeries) would be inviting disaster and rebellion within their star hero. Though depending on what's recently happened to the other teen, Keigo's usually required to go through a sterilization process and wear protective clothing, as any germs or harmful bacteria could wreak havoc on Touya's recovery. Still, on the days that he's allowed to safely visit his friend, the one nurse that seems most sympathetic to the two of them allows Keigo to help with Touya's "exercises", moving his body gently one piece at a time to help keep his muscles from atrophying and his skin from getting damaged as he lies motionless for days on end.
It's the beginning of January, the brief period of the year where Keigo and Touya share the same age before the 18th rolls around. Three long years for everyone else, and yet they've flashed by the comatose teen on the bed. He's grown, obviously, with his benefactor requiring the utmost care taken to ensure he won't wake up to a disheveled and ill-working body. The scarring is noticeable, faint flesh-colored wrinkling covering the lower half of his face like a rictus grin, a few patches of the same on his neck, arms, legs, and torso, but overall taken to by the young man's body. A few minor surgeries were slowly finishing their healing, but the last of the main bandages had come off a month or so ago, though the person who sponsored the entire thing had mentioned that the expected recovery had not been as well as they'd hoped. Touya would never be 100% of himself again, though he would be able to live at least. With training, his Quirk could be improved, though it remained doubtful if it would ever be able to return to its former glory and potential. Rather than deliberately wake him up, however, the doctors were ordered to let him sleep. His benefactor wanted to see him wake on his own, not forcefully discharged from it before his body was naturally ready.
Something shifts slightly under Keigo's chin, brushing against his skin. Faint and barely there. Eyelashes. Only barely opened, enough for the brief light to touch onto retinas that had seen darkness for months upon months. Immediately one of the machines changes its screen color, detecting a chance in Touya's brainwaves, though out of consideration for its comatose patient, remains silent as it sends out the message. A deeper breath draws in, inflating his lungs a bit more than they have been for three years. He's not sure, but he thinks he heard something a moment ago... but what's blackness and what's waking, he doesn't know.
Until, with a rush, everything comes sweeping back. The facility. The fire. Keigo-!
Touya's eyes snap open wide and in one moment, he jerks upright, sitting in bed like a jack in the box springing to life. One arm flopping against the sheets since it's still tethered to the IV and not as awake as the other one. The loose hospital shirt he's wearing sags a bit around his collarbones, and the monitoring patch on his temple dangles its thin wire down against his cheek. Where... where is he? Is he still in the facility? The fire--! No... wait, the fire was... He's alive? He thought that was just a dream. That Keigo was... But no, he came back, he remembers his voice! He heard it just no- ... w...
It's then that his sweeping blue eyes land on the very person he'd been thinking of. Keigo... He's there. Sitting on his bed. And all Touya can do is stare at him.
no subject
Date: 7/4/22 19:49 (UTC)He wishes he could tell Touya what the plan is. That he's worked out deals with more than a few people out in town. Done enough community service and acts of kindness to earn the trust, kindness, and aid of various people. People who can help them get away from this place, others who will help turn the heat elsewhere. People who want to help the bright-eyed hero in his time of need. None of them know all the details, of course. Only bits and pieces here and there that might never fully align to something they can make sense of even if they'd talked to each other. No one can really know what he's planning, after all, if he wants to get Touya out safely.
But what he tells Touya instead of little things about what will happen when they are free. Things the bosses have dismissed as silly dreams of a boy with crush that he'll grown out of when he realizes that Touya is going nowhere, will never be anything. And as much as it angers Keigo to know that's the way they feel, it works. Letting them think he'll grow out of his friendship and dedication to Touya can only work in his favor. It's all part of the long game.
Keigo isn't sure how much longer he has until Touya wakes up, but regardless, things are ready for when it happens. What he doesn't expect is for it to happen now.
That faint brush under his chin makes him pause, and for a second, he thinks he's imagining. That he wants so badly for Touya to wake up that his brain is making him think he actually is. Only, he sees that screen change color. It's enough that Keigo sits up straight, reading over the numbers, taking them in with a desperate hope that this is finally it. That Touya will wake up any second now. He feels his heart hammer in his chest, and without thinking, he keeps his wrapped around Touya's and gives just the smallest squeeze. A hint of pressure to tell his waking mind that he's there.
When Touya sits up so abruptly, eyes open, his free hand reaches out, presses to his back to give him support as he scoots closer on the bed. "It's okay, it's okay," he coos softly, trying to breathe through his own excitement and happiness. He can feel his eyes starting to sting, overwhelmed by the sight of Touya sitting here. Awake. Looking at him. There's a flash of a thought that what if Touya doesn't recognize him? Or worse, doesn't remember him? But he slams those thoughts down immediately in favor of focusing.
"Hey, Tou." Keigo finally breathes out, smiling softly as he rubs his thumb gently against the back of the other teen's hand. Touya's awake. Touya's finally awake, and Keigo feels like he can't breathe.
no subject
Date: 7/10/22 19:28 (UTC)It's okay. It's okay. That voice drifts into his ears, coming with it the faint coo he's so quick to remember. Yet when he looks to the side of him, it's... it's definitely Keigo, but he looks different. He looks older. Changed. Wings bigger, he might be taller, his hair's a different style than he remembers. But those details come rapid fire and vanish a second later as he tries to figure out what's going on. Yes, he remembers him, but the recognition is coming a bit slower thanks to the differences. For a moment, he thinks he's dreaming, unable to tell if this is real or not. It's hard to... feel things now that he thinks about it.
Even the hand around his own is somewhat numb. Like he's fading towards the pins-and-needles sensation, but never getting there. His hand curls around Keigo's, less out of instinct and more because he consciously tells it to do so. No it's... it's numb. He can't feel him as much. The pressure of his fingertips against the other boy's knuckles registers, but the warmth of his hand and the softness of his skin are in some midway state between able to feel and only remembering what it should feel like. Temperature and texture are difficult, though pressure is easier. It's confusing and he doesn't know why. The bandages all over his arms, the strange white shirt he's wearing, there's something attached to his wrist, what... what's going on?
"What happened? Where... where am I? Keigo?" As if the other boy has the answers. Only to tense up and his free hand flies up to his face, his mouth. That's-! That's not his voice! That doesn't sound like him! Not the him he remembers! "My voice-?!"
Is that his voice?!
no subject
Date: 8/7/22 23:40 (UTC)He sits quietly, careful not to move out of worry of distressing Touya any further. It seems for a moment that he might be settling, and the soft noises Keigo makes continue. An attempt at continuing to soothe him and offering something that was familiar among so many things that had changed since the last time Touya was awake.
"It's me," he begins softly, watching Touya's face to try and gauge his expression. But the sudden surprise and the hand flying up to Touya's face have him moving, the hand not on the other's back moving to instead catch his hand. "Hey," he starts, offering a soft and warm smile. It doesn't show what he really feels, the rise of worry and anxiety in his chest. But he's learned to hide all that in these few years. To keep all of that hidden away behind an easy smile or a mask of indifference. It isn't something he'd ever wanted to use on Touya, but right now, he needs to. He knows they don't have long until someone makes their way into the room to check on the newly awakened Touya.
"You were in a coma for three years. You're still here, in the facility with me," he starts, trying to get the most pressing details out of the way. "You had to have a lot of surgeries to help you heal some. So you look a little different than before. Your voice changed too, like the rest of you. It's going to be a lot. But I need you to relax for me, Tou." He releases Touya's hand in favor of reaching out, gently stroking a hand over the white hair. "If you freak out or get upset, they're going to panic, too. So just breathe for me, alright? Nice and slow."
Keigo breathes in slowly and exhales much the same, trying to show Touya what he means and encourage him to copy.
no subject
Date: 8/9/22 22:39 (UTC)Keigo looks different, his voice sounds different, even the hand pressed against his own mouth feels different, the feeling itself feels different! Oh god-! Is- Is that his face?! Wh- what happened to his skin?! There's something on it?! UNDER IT?! It doesn't feel smooth, but instead kind of... not wrinkled, but... like a scar. Different. Is that his skin?! What happened to his face?!
The soft noises Keigo's making only briefly manage to calm Touya's panicked response, a flicker of reminder before he finds something else to shock him. His hand's caught by another one and he jerks his eyes down to stare at it, wide blue eyes gawking at the other boy-- no he's-- he's not a boy? He's grown up! He's older! Touya's fingers quiver, every muscle in his body contracting and stretching under his skin like it might jump out and run away. He feels like doing just that. Run away. This isn't real. Run away! RUN AWAY!
Hey.
It's that voice again, that catches his reactions. Touya whips his head and eyes up so fast he might've given himself a lash in the brain from the speed. A bit of headrush happens anyways. Gaping at Keigo's soft smile. That... that used to bring him calm, right? He can trust it... right? Right? The machines around him can't be trusted, there are things sitting on him, a wire coming out (off) the side of his head, and the room itself is stark and strange. But Keigo's there.
"Thr-... three years?" His voice again, cracked and hoarse from disuse, not sounding at all like him, and he shuts his mouth instantly, afraid of his own voice. If he doesn't say it, doesn't use it, it won't be true. The facility. Still here. Surgeries. Healing. Right... the fire. He burned up. So much fire. The pain and rage... it's hard to remember at the moment, but he knows that's true for sure. Look a little different. Voice ch-
The rest of you?!
Three years. Logic trickles in slightly. Keigo's telling him to relax and he knows he should, but... A hand settles on his hair and Touya blinks for a second. Before scrambling for Keigo's other hand. Needing to touch it, needing that tether to reality. If it's gone, he's gonna be in a dream again, gonna wake up, or sleep, or burn, he doesn't know! Breathe... freak out... get upset... WHICH ONE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?! ALL OF THEM?!
He tries, honestly tries, to imitate Keigo's breathing. And basically hyperventilates immediately.
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Date: 8/27/22 21:55 (UTC)Keigo wouldn't blame Touya if he outright lost it from just sitting here. He thinks it's some strange miracle that he hasn't yet. But he's sure it's not far off given how the frantic reactions and the way his voice cracks. Still, he tells himself it's fine. This is fine. Touya can freak out, but he knows how to stay calm and soothe others. He thinks he still knows how to do it for Touya.
Their breathing doesn't match the way he wants it to, and his wings flick sharply at the vibrations that come from the hearing the sound of Touya's breathing. Think, Keigo, think.
It's only a few seconds before he's scoots closer, close enough now that their thighs are pressed together. His hands work themselves free of the other's and he reaches out quickly to wind them around Touya. There's no hesitation in the way he draws him closer, one arm around his back at the other hand reaches to curl into the white hair to gently press his head down and against a covered shoulder. As he does, his wings stretch and move, trap them inside a familiar cage of feathers that blocks out most of the light, help lessen some of the sounds of the machine around them.
"It's okay, Tou. Take your time." Soft words followed by familiar and gentle coos. His fingers comb slowly through the white hair, and Keigo closes his own eyes to let his senses fully focus on the other. "Take as much time as you need. I'm here. I'm always going to be here." Distantly, Keigo wonders if Touya even remembers how close they'd been. If he remembers anything leading up to his coma.
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Date: 9/1/22 23:14 (UTC)Don't let him go! Don't pull away! His mind can't take the thought of it being a dream. Of the image of Keigo vanishing from his life again as the other man tries to free himself. If he's left alone-- If he's send back to that darkness--!
A solid bump against his leg, however, snaps his attention from the scrambling battle to keep Keigo's hand. Touching once more. He's here... he's really here. The pressure against his leg distracts him long enough for his companion to finally pry his hands free of Touya's grasp. A second later, that quick bridging the gap of thigh to thigh making it possible, Keigo's able to encompass the panicking teenager with in his wings without Touya shutting down in another mental cave in.
All of a sudden, it goes dark again. But this time, not from his closed eyes or the world blacking out, but because of a surrounding wall of red feathers and warm arms. A voice he's heard so many times in this very circumstance, talking to him and comforting him within the shield of Keigo's wings. Fingers wander through his hair. Pushing his head down to a warm shoulder as he's pulled into his embrace. Each breath continues fast and panicked, but they're not getting higher or faster, momentarily stunned into a plateau. Take his time... take his time...
It'll... it'll take a while. Working him down from this mind-racing freakout careening on the very edge of a mental breakdown. But... Keigo's the only person who could manage to bring Touya down from the brink.
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Date: 11/11/22 12:51 (UTC)"It's just you and me. Focus on my voice. Try to focus on the sound of my breathing."
His voice is soft and gentle, trying to guide Touya through the panic. It's not easy. It'll take time, but if he can just get him to breathe, to come down from where he's at, that's a good start. They can handle whatever comes after that together. The last thing he wants is for Touya to break here, to lose himself to smoke and flames again, and ruin his body all over again. That's a pain he doesn't want the other teen to have to endure again. He can't imagine having to sit here again, to watch as Touya undergoes more surgeries and treatments to try and salvage his body. It always just brings him back to the idea that he needs to get Touya out of here.
Keigo pushes those thoughts out of his mind in favor of keeping his own breathing steady and even. The motions of his hands continue slowly, trying to make sure it's something Touya can focus on in the safety of the embrace of his wings.
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Date: 5/16/23 00:48 (UTC)Just you and me.
He wants to believe it so badly. Ever so slowly, the cold inhale against Keigo's shoulder and neck begins to dwindle, Touya's lightheaded rush starting to ease as his racing heart and panic take a step back from the harrowing brink. Too weak to manage his flames right now, all that can give is the rising warmth of his body to the peak of his frantic moments. But even that is starting to cool as Keigo coaxes and guides him. Fingers reluctantly, unconsciously, start surrendering their death grip on his shirt and limb. Minutes pass, but it's eventually becoming more apparent there won't be another inferno blazing through the scorched hallways. No more damage to Touya's body at the moment.
Each pass of Keigo's hands helps with that. Each rub of his wings, each passing second on the darkness of their envelope coaxes the other teenager down from his high. Minutes and minutes... but eventually, it's enough. Left holding him, left breathing, left cooling...
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Date: 5/16/23 22:17 (UTC)But Keigo's learned in the last few years how to hide all of that. The gentle motions of his hands, the soft words, and careful caress of his feathers, none of them give away how Keigo feels inside. Not the worry, not the stress, not the sadness or anger that come with the memories of what put Touya into that this bed in the first place. There's just a gentleness that comes easily these days with training that's told him to be what other's need, what to say and how to act, how to read them. And right now, Touya needs him and reassurance that he's still here. He can do that. He's always been able to do that.
"Still with me?" He prompts softly after a moment, wings shifting slightly so he can let some of that building heat escape from the cage of his wings before he's curling them closely around him again. There's a gentle nudge of his lips and nose against the older teen's temple. "We can stay here as long as you need."
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Date: 5/22/23 21:14 (UTC)Thoughts like that seem to drift away the longer Keigo holds him. No more focusing on the pain and loss, but rather the incredulous sensation of having the only person he had grown close to back with him. Hands touching his body, carding through his hair, wings wrapped around him in a way he'd never felt for several years, but always remained in his mind as memories of that childhood stolen from him. Touya can't tell that all Keigo is doing to him is simply things he'd been trained to do. He grasps onto it without hesitation. It's the only way he's going to get through this without destroying everything around him.
"Uh-huh..." The noise is quiet, voice different from the boy Keigo had left behind. Deeper, sullen, a changed person within the confines of those red wings. Lips brush against his temple and Touya ducks his head closer to Keigo's chest, settling in the embrace. Still with him. Burned but alive. Not dead yet despite looking like he should be.
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Date: 8/3/23 00:29 (UTC)More than anything, he wants to drag Touya out of this bed, out of this place, somewhere where they never have to worry about anyone hurting them. He wishes it was that easy.
He feels the way Touya tucks himself against his chest, and he adjusts his hold reflexively. He littles carefully to the sound of the other's breathing, lets his attention split briefly to take in the world around them more intently. He can hear the voices of the doctors and staff nearby. Chattering impatiently about needing to go inside, but they all resist. They know the risk of what will happen if they make the wrong move, and he knows none of them want to roll those dice.
"Does anything hurt?" He wonders softly, letting his fingers pass through Touya's hair drift lower, finding a scar to touch softly. Gauging a reaction - checking for pain but also his friend's control.
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Date: 8/7/23 03:30 (UTC)Freedom. Walking free without the rules holding him down, seeing their faces washed in heat as the looks of horror and realization was flash-fried into blackened skulls. Look what they wrought. They wanted a weapon. They got it.
And it can turn where it wants.
Those realizations settle within his chest as Touya rests against Keigo's body. Breathing softening, eyes closing, the panic from his waking and the trauma from the experience slowly easing down now that Keigo is here. Luckily his mind is elsewhere so he doesn't hear the people talking around them, doesn't hear the words said. Instead, Touya continues to unconsciously internalizes the feelings from that time. He can deal with them later. For now, he's content to rest.
"No. Just feels numb." Honestly, he can't feel any pain at all. Even with the damage to his body. Maybe because of it. The sensations are faded, even the brush of Keigo's wings almost imperceptible on his skin. He can feel his hand in his hair, on the nape of his neck, but it's mostly pressure only. Perhaps the pain will come back later... who knows.
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Date: 8/21/23 22:41 (UTC)Given the amount of surgeries and skin grafts, Keigo isn't surprised to hear that. The different doctors had told him that was a possibility between Touya's flames and medical procedures, but he isn't thrilled about it. Far from it. It's yet another reminder of how much this place has done to the other, and it makes a familiar anger simmer under his skin. Something he knows how to hide now, but it still lingers under the surface.
"No pain is good," he offers softly as he lifts one hand to stroke it over Touya's hair gently. No pain and calm. Touya's in a good place for the moment, and the last thing he wants to do is disturb him, but the doctors do need to check him. Something he knows could go badly very quickly if it's not handled right. Touya's fragile, and Keigo doesn't know how much it'll take before he starts to crack.
He nudges a hand softly at the other's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere," he starts gently, "but the doctors need to look at you. Will you be okay? I'll be right at the foot of your bed the entire time."
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Date: 8/22/23 22:30 (UTC)And there's no going back.
"Maybe." Touya doesn't know if a lack of pain is good. It might sound good on the surface, but pain is what tells a body something is wrong. He could break a bone or get a cut and not know until he's made the damage worse. And if he can't feel anything at all, life's going to be a fucking lonely existence. There's some mild relief in that he can feel Keigo's fingers in his hair, even if it's more a vague pressure and recollection at the moment. Phantom sensation.
The nudge draws him out of his quiet moment and the promise Keigo makes earns another round of relaxation as Touya sinks against him. Eyes closing, resting, breathing easier. "They can look tomorrow," he murmurs, voice curt and unlike the boy Keigo had grown up with. "I'll kill 'em if they try today." Something far more detached and uncaring.
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Date: 8/27/23 17:52 (UTC)Eyes closing as his hands move through Touya's hair again, he can remember those scorch marks. The sight of Touya covered in blood and bandages after everything had happened. He's had years to learn to cope with the anger those memories bring, the hatred that simmers under his skin for what they'd done to ruin his only friend, the only person he loves. But for Touya, it's all still too fresh. Those doctors are in danger for simply just existing this close to Touya.
That's something Keigo becomes even more keenly aware of as the older teen speaks. It doesn't sound like the boy he'd known for so long, but someone else. And as he continues, speaking like that... He knows that boy he'd grown to love had been burned away. It should upset him, should make his heart ache more than it already does. Instead, all Keigo feels is the way his own resolve to take them away from here burn hotter. He promises himself he'll protect Touya this time; he won't let him suffer alone like that again. It doesn't matter if he can never have the old Touya back, he'll take care of this new one the way he should have the boy he grow up with.
"Tomorrow," he echoes softly, adjusting his hold around Touya, and this time, it's so he can tip them gently onto their sides to lay down in the too small bed. "You should save your strength. You'll need it." It's not scolding or telling the other he shouldn't hurt or kill others. It's his way of saying they'll leave this place, and the unfortunate reality of it is that Touya will need his strength for them to do it.
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Date: 8/28/23 04:50 (UTC)Touya lets himself rest again as Keigo runs his fingers through his hair, taking comfort in the gentle gestures. He doesn't feel any regret for what happened, save for not being able to bring this entire place down in the inferno. But at the moment, he's too tired and overwhelmed to dwell on such thoughts. All he wants to do is focus on Keigo's presence. Rest finally seems an attractive option. He can deal with anything else later if Keigo's with him.
"Aa." Yeah. Tomorrow. That sounds good. Touya notes the soft tilt and realizes Keigo's lying them down. He has to let the other man do it for him, limbs too tired to do much on their own after the rush of emotion from the reunion. Lying on his side in the embrace of Keigo's wings is a pleasant experience, reminding him of the times they'd done the same as kids. "All right." Save his strength. Good idea. No reprimand or counseling. Unaware of what Keigo's planning, Touya simply closes his eyes and lets himself relax, quickly finding sleep in his friend's presence.
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Date: 9/16/23 18:42 (UTC)True to his word, Keigo keeps the doctors and nurses off Touya until the evening the following day. Even then, he keeps close, always within reach and prepared to tell someone to stop or give them distance if Touya needs it. That's how they spend the next week or so as well - Touya carefully observed by the doctors who are being intently watched by Keigo. And Keigo dismisses any requests (demands) really for him to do any training that takes him away from Touya's side for more than an hour or so. Keigo knows they want to argue, but they won't. As far as everyone is concerned, Touya is a ticking time bomb, and Keigo is the only person who can stop him.
When Touya is finally given the blessing to leave the hospital bed he'd been confined to, bandages mostly gone except for a few things that are in the final stages of healing, Keigo is happy to lead him out of the medical wing. One bare hand is curved around Touya's as they walk, keeping close enough that their shoulders can gently brush one another at they go. "I kept our room the same. I thought it'd be nice if we made changes to it together," he muses as he opens the door to their room. Sure enough, it's the same beyond a couple of small things like the addition of a few books, a taller dresser to accommodate the need for bigger clothes and accessories, and Touya's pillow is nestled beside Keigo's on the blond's bed. But otherwise, it's much the same. Not that Keigo has any intention of the two of them staying here long enough for this place to need any changes. They'll be out of here soon enough.
"We can sleep in your bed, if you want. I've been washing the sheets every week so they were clean for you." He'd never given up hope that the other would wake up, after all. He'd told anyone who asked that Touya would come back to him, and he was right. Something he seems incredibly happy about as he herds the other teen to sit on the edge of his old bed. "Do you want to see some of the magazines I saved for you? I found new places for us to go when it's time for us to live on our own."
He doesn't wait for an answer, grabbing one of the magazines before climbing onto the bed to scoot close to Touya. Opening the magazine, he flips through a few pages before stopping and setting it across their laps. "It isn't open all the time, but I'll find out how we can get special passes." It's a big mall, but that's not what he's concerned with showing Touya. The place his finger lands on the page is a store front and the doors are the exact shape and size of the ones that keep their living quarters and medical from the rest of the facility. "We go here and once we're done," he drags his finger towards the brightly lit exit sign among the bustling scene, tapping it, "we'll go here. It'll probably be busy, though. If we go early or maybe later at night, it shouldn't be too bad."
What he's telling Touya sounds innocent enough, but what he means is entirely different. He'll get them an access card to get into the other part of the facility, and they'll escape from there. They can figure out the best time depending on the schedule in the next few days.
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Date: 9/18/23 21:49 (UTC)But none of those things happen. Apparently the destruction and death's Touya had wrought on his rampage had cast enough of a ghost around the staff to avoid it. Probably to no one's surprise, he's more awake and alert whenever it's just him and Keigo visiting in the hospital room. Still, his exhaustion and recovery take a toll and Touya ends up sleeping most of the time as the days tick on. The scars and regenerative tissues go hand-in-hand on his body, that T-shaped rictus grin permanently etched into his face. At least everything's the same color, though Touya heard one of the nurses say "for now" in regards to his body's ability to stay in its current state. What would happen if he tried to use his flames like this?
... just how useless is he going to be now ..
As Keigo leads him away from the medical wing, Touya's eyes wander about the halls and passing rooms. He holds his friend's hand, not minding the way their shoulders bump against each other's as they go. Feels like it's been forever since he saw this place; it's been three years after all. Oh, Keigo's saying something.
"We're going to change it?" Touya sounds confused about why they'd bother doing that. Most of the rooms are the same, little in the way of personality unless it's somehow required. But he pauses upon seeing their room again. Particularly the bed with two pillows on it. The scene brings back memories and feelings, causing a quiet well of the sensations in Touya's chest. Soft, but weak. Enough that his expression relaxes, but a smile fails to appear.
"But my pillow's on your bed." Touya takes a seat on the bed's edge, resting his hands on the rim for a few seconds before smoothing his fingers and palms across the surface. The sensation's faint, numb, in that he can feel it's soft, but not anything like he could still remember. So he stops doing that and simply rests his hands on his lap instead. Magazines? Touya lifts his head and glances at Keigo again when he mentions new places to live. Right, they had... talked about that before. What to do when they left this place.
"Mh." That's the only response he can (or wants) to give, since Keigo's already scooting over to him with the magazine. Turquoise eyes linger on the pages as they flip across the book, dropping as the document flops on his lap. A mall? He hasn't been to one of those... ever. But he focuses on the placement of Keigo's finger instead, noting the door and the hallway, followed by the skim to the exit door. For a few seconds, he seems to simply take it as Keigo means it. But after the bit, his eyes lid and a different kind of focus wanders through his mind. "Later at night. Goin out with all those people's annoyin."
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Date: 10/11/23 21:50 (UTC)The people here did this to Touya. Enji Todoroki did this to Touya. And despite the bright smiles and carefree demeanor, Keigo will never forgive any of them for taking a part of Touya away from him.
He feels those familiar creeping thoughts, but instead of focusing on them, he tips his head gently against Touya's shoulder once it seems the other is understanding what he's saying. He wishes they could talk more freely, but he's sure they're being watched. They can't have their prized bird harmed, after all.
"Later sounds good." There's a soft hum of approval, and he's quiet for a moment as lets himself enjoy the moment. There's lots he wants to ask as they sit there, but he's not sure where to start. Instead of speaking right away, he starts with neatly sliding the magazine away before letting one of his hands slide under Touya's, letting the other teen decide if he wants to hold it properly or not. "Hey, Touya," he wonders after a moment, voice soft where his head is perched on the other's shoulder. "Do you remember what happened?"
It's a dangerous question to ask, and Keigo knows it. But he needs to know what's going through Touya's head, how much of that rage is still simmering under the surface, and just what might be the spark to ignite another inferno.
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Date: 10/16/23 00:07 (UTC)A soft bump against his shoulder pulls Touya from his thoughts and he glances down towards the feathered sandy blonde head he's grown up with. So many times he's felt this sensation and seen this sight. A little boy holding onto his hand, a smile on his face after Touya encouraged him that they'd get stronger. Now it seems the roles are reversed, with Keigo being the one to encourage him to stay strong and smile for him. Mah, smiling doesn't seem like a possibility right now, but at least he's calm and willing to rest without medication or antagonism towards the medics tending to him.
Touya's hand is moved rather than moving his hand himself. Lifted up, fingers curled a bit at the tips as Keigo slides his hand underneath his own. Once it's in his grip, however, the burned teen slowly closes his digits around the winged teen's. Whether it's 'proper' or not is up to Keigo to decide; Touya doesn't care. He cares more about the question leveled at him. For a while, he's left to think on his own. How much does he remember? There's a lot, actually.
"Depends on where ya want me to start." Does he remember the time away from Keigo? Does he remember the training he went through after Endeavor abandoned him? Does he remember getting the news Keigo would never be in his life again? Does he remember rampaging through the halls as his flames raged around him without control, incinerating people and scorching walls black, heedless of the damage he caused? Does he remember waking up and finding out how much of himself he'd destroyed? The answer is... yes. He remembers all of that. If asked to grab details right now, he probably could, though he's likely too tired to want to give Keigo a big report. "But I remember most of it."
Might be better to ask him what he doesn't remember... which is a stupid request.