[Two halves of a perfect whole. That made sense. Twins. One of ice. One of fire. Touya grew up beside his brother knowing that. Sure, Fuyumi was there a year later, butit was soon apparent that she never really understood Touya. So he said. Gojo was the one he felt most drawn towards, comfortable around him and the coolness he exuded, both from the icy Quirk he inherited from his mother and the sheer cool of his attitude that always carried him confident through his life. A fair contrast to the bright fire that burned inside Touya from the start. Energetic, ambitious, and devoted to the heroic path his father laid before him.
When he heard about Gojo accidentally killing someone with his Quirk, he'd been surprised, but by then, things had already begun to fall apart for the burning twin of the Todoroki family. It turned out his Quirk, despite being stronger than even Endeavor's, was ill-suited for his body, which received the cold-resistant genes from his mother. Combined with this failure of his life's ambitions and Endeavor's arrogance and family prestige, Touya looked down on others in his class and world, believing he lived on another level than them. So what did it matter if his brother accidentally killed one? They shouldn't have gotten in his way. Besides, it was an accident. How was Gojo supposed to know? Some people had put out an eye or worse when their Quirks went out of control.
He never worried about that frozen gaze turned on him. Probably because he believed both his inherent resistance to the cold and the burning flames of his Quirk inside protected him from Gojo's eyes. Made it safe for his twin to take his sunglasses off around him so he didn't have to keep hiding those crystal blue eyes away from the world for once. It wasn't hard to see Gojo's growth as he reached towards adolescence. Between their mother's weak will, their father's ambitious pursuit of his dreams and his abandonment of the rest of his family for it, it affected each of the kids differently.
The same year Gojo killed someone had been the same year Shouto had been born, finally achieving what all four of Endeavor's other children could not.Leading to Touya's breakdown and attempted attack on his infant sibling to get Enji to notice him. It hadn't been Shouto's fault, really, and he admitted that to Gojo and Natsuo later, but to see his own "replacement" in front of him, knowing Endeavor would never look at him again, knowing he'd lost all hope at recovering the very reason for his own damn existence in this world... He thought if he could destroy his replacement, it would force Endeavor to acknowledge him. But it wouldn't. It couldn't.
Didn't stop him from noticing Gojo's pranks. From chilling the air when he stormed out of the room to freezing the training ground under their feet to turning Enji's drink to ice (neither of the last two did much, since the man easily melted whatever frigid prank played out, ignoring it as if Gojo didn't do a thing). Touya saw it more as attempts to get their father's attention rather than his own, however, and it drew a bit of a rivalry between him and his twin.
They'd always wandered that line, usually best friends and confidants, but occasionally due to Touya's pride and pain clashing with Gojo's carefree rebellion, it veered towards enemies. Because throughout all of the trauma of his childhood, Touya still desperately wanted to be a hero, to win back Endeavor's approval. Things he shared with Gojo and Natsuo so many times, crying as he held onto them, probably tiring the two out from hearing the same thing over and over. And no doubt exasperating Natsuo's patience if not also heating up Gojo's jealousy. It's true that both Gojo and Touya had the potential to surpass Endeavor in terms of the strength of their Quirks. But whereas Gojo's body was a perfect match for his Quirk, including having a more cooperative biology in terms of physical stature (Touya was a bit of a runt, with all his siblings growing taller than him, even his twin), Touya had to deal with his Quirk burning him and his physical strength lacking compared to Natsuo and Gojo.
When Touya as revealed to be unable to carry on the ambition Endeavor desired for him, that of surpassing him and taking the No. 1 Hero spot away from All Might, Enji turned his attention to Gojo, hoping to train him instead. But between his younger twin's ironic focus on Touya and him only possessing the icy Quirk from their mother, Endeavor abandoned him too in favor of Natsuo, who would also be labeled a failure, a lesser version of Gojo (which did Natsuo no favors in his own struggles), and finally the success with their youngest brother, Shouto. But after Touya attacked him, Endeavor began keeping Shouto separated from the rest of his children. It only made Touya despair more, since it meant he didn't get to see Endeavor much at all. He spent more time with Gojo at least, training with him and playing, trying to get a few breathers from the overwhelming pressure.
Fuyumi tried her best to keep the four of them close despite her twin brothers having element-related standoffish moments, with Gojo's frosty disinterest pushing anyone but Touya away and Touya's burning derision starting to alienate him from the rest of his siblings. But with their mutual pain over being ignored by their father, at least they could bond some over that. Touya alone was the fire user among their four and as his Quirk burned him up, it became Gojo, Fuyumi, or Natsuo's role to at least try and cover up for him when he snuck out to go train against Enji and Rei's wishes. Which usually led to the man yelling at Rei when it was discovered Touya slipped past her again, leaving Shouto to try and defend his mother, Fuyumi and Natsuo cowering in fear in another room, and Touya and Gojo glaring with mutual fire and ice from their own areas.
Admittedly, Gojo was more clingy to Touya than the elder twin was. Sometimes that closeness got on his nerves, especially because Gojo didn't seem to want to become a hero, which bothered Touya. Sure his strength in body and Quirk were impressive, top quality, but whereas Touya's Achilles' heel was in his body, Gojo's came in his nebulous ambitions. The rebellion and the dare-say hedonistic mindset of only wanting to do what he wanted to do because he was strong enough to do it worried both Rei and Enji. Touya found it both impressive and irritating, that his twin who could become a hero didn't seem like he wanted to. On the one hand, that mindset was a breath of fresh air and Touya, Fuyumi, and Natsuo sometimes like to hear Gojo talk about it. On the other hand, it was weird and Touya didn't agree with the lack of goal (then again, his mind was geared into Enji's goals, as he never had time to develop his own, something Gojo managed to avoid).
It was around puberty that things began to get more noticeable. Gojo was hanging around him more, he moved differently with Touya, started to become more touchy feeling as he draped over his twin. He didn't get the flirts at first, thinking Gojo was talking about someone else or reciting some cheesy lines from movies. But when he he began to realize they were aimed at him from time to time, it... was a strange experience? On the one hand, he instinctively found it weird, since Gojo's his brother. But on the other hand, there was no one he trusted more. And it wasn't like any of the Todoroki children weren't growing up to be lookers.
So when Gojo started to take his training more seriously, that quickly spurred Touya on as well, against the cautions of their mother towards Gojo for inspiring Touya to keep burning himself, and the warnings from Fuyumi and Natsuo, not wanting to see the brother they loved keep coming back to with injuries. But if Gojo was going to train with him and improve his Quirk, then Touya was willing to risk it. A reckless streak in him as well didn't care. If he grew strong enough, then Endeavor would notice him. Simple as that. Plus, ironically, training with Gojo at least allowed Touya to go longer without hurting himself, due to the ice keeping his body temperature down and muting the fire's burning effect until the elder twin's Quirk finally struggled past that safe limit. While Gojo was more on the elusive side of things, making it harder to hit him, Touya countered by flooding out more power, willing to turn the entire battlefield into a sea of flames for a pure overkill of brute force. (Gojo likely had to play damage control to keep his brother's fires from spreading out of their normal grounds...) At least the icy twin got his rewards when Touya let him help after their spars. Putting his hands on his body to cool him off, keep the burns at bay, relax his muscle.
Conversely, Touya never managed to last more than an hour of hard training. Despite his approaching growth spurt (so happy when he bested Fuyumi in height for once), he was still developing physically, playing catch up with the rest of his siblings. He'd have to take a break and rest, cool down with Gojo's help, before they could get back to it again. All the while his twin's patience levels for training continued to drain. Meaning when Gojo was done, he was done. Leaving Touya on his back, panting as his brother looked down at him with those icy blue eyes of his.]
Gojo! [Protesting already. Touya pouts up at him, knowing full well he wont' be able to convince him to continue going.] Can't we-- oof! [Apparently not. His breath rushes out as Gojo drops on his chest, knees pressing on his chest a little uncomfortably. It's a pure bully move and he scowls up at him for it.] You're a real pain in the butt, you know that?
[Of course he did; he could see it in those beautiful eyes of his. Gojo never had to wear his glasses around Touya. That was something he could give his twin and did so eagerly. The pout turns more into a grumpy expression when Gojo starts recounting payment ideas. How funny.] You don't kick it all the time! I won last week!
(Satoru had never felt the same degree of jealousy towards Shouto as Touya had, but it made enough sense. He holstered vicious jealousy towards sharing his brother with Natsuo, after all. He loathed when Touya sought both their comfort rather than Satoru's alone. He never said anything, but he would stare intently at Natsuo the entire time. When he was younger, he'd even shove him further away, wanting to be Touya's main sense of comfort. Satoru didn't really have anyone else outside of Touya...And he preferred it that way. He was borderline egomaniacal and would have never suited the life of a hero. He felt everyone else was beneath him, everything else beneath him and not worth the effort or the attention.
He got along okay with some kids at school, but he never put them on the same register as his brother. Not even close. People were just so boring. He didn't really even understand why Touya thought it was such a big deal to become a hero like their father, but he humored him all the same, even if some days he wound up teasing him about it. Mostly to get Touya riled up. He was so cute when he got angry!
When he got older, Fuyumi became the closest thing to someone outside of Touya. Mostly because she caught him looking at Touya in such a way one day and instead of the look his father had once given him, she gave Satoru a kind look. It had likely been pity, but it certainly hadn't been disgust. Satoru talked to her a bit more after that. Never about Touya, but...She was all right. She told him to be careful and he had merely grinned at her. He knew what he was doing - except he really didn't. He had zero experience in this realm of life, but he felt like he had done plenty of research on the subject.
Guys were easy anyway. Even though he didn't actually do anything with other guys, he had tested some stuff at school. Certain looks, certain whispered statements just to see what would happen. It crept through school that Gojo had kind of become a slut - but he really wasn't doing anything. He was just making some guys realize stuff about themselves they maybe hadn't been ready to realize. That wasn't his fault! It was kind of funny anyway. He just wished he could get some of those same looks and reactions out of his brother.
Currently, he was sliding his hands over Touya's chest. Less a come-on and more practical with perks. He was trying to cool his brother's body temperature down, and this wasn't the first time he's done this. He works his fingers over Touya's shoulders, kneading the muscle there. It would help with lingering soreness later. He slides his hands down his arms, smirking.)
You make it so easy, ni-chan. It's not my fault. (He bends over him, bringing them nose to nose, his eyes wide and unblinking.) Maybe try harder?
(He blows at Touya's mouth and it creates a small gust of icy moisture that freezes over the surface of his brother's lips. Not that it'd do anything, but it's a fun little trick. Gojo sits up, laughing, pushing his hair back.)
Ahhh I let you. Sometimes I just start feeling bad.
(Which was kind of true...Or he grew bored of the fighting. Or it was fun to see Touya brighten after a win. He wiggles back to straddle Touya's lap instead, alleviating the pressure on his chest. He squeezes his legs around Touya's hips and rests his hands on his stomach.)
I'm serious though! I want incentives from now on. I could be talking to cute guys! But here I am...Wasting my best years away...I'm so underappreciated.
[While Touya had issues getting along with his siblings sometimes, the occasional anger flaring up at Fuyumi or the growling at Natsuo, and even the exasperation towards Gojo, he really did care for them to varying degrees. Didn't confide much in Fuyumi, but far more in Natsuo and Gojo, though tended to try and broker some peace between his twin and his younger brother when he felt Gojo's jealousy acting up. He didn't want a clash between them because he was close to both of them, though ultimately focused on himself at the end of the day, because Shouto stole his purpose in life, stole Endeavor's attention.
But Gojo remained the most constant in his life as their training picked up, leading to him spending more time with his twin and being more interested in what he had to say. Never wavered on his ambition to become a hero, as any attempts by Gojo to question him on it met the same flare or anger Touya lashed out at his other family members for trying to "make him quit" his goals. He wasn't going to quit! He'd prove he was the right one! He'd prove he had what a took! That he wasn't a failure!
Gojo at least gave him the outlet he needed, someone to help train him since Endeavor wouldn't and Fuyumi and Natsuo weren't interested. Touya noticed his twin was getting along more with Fuyumi and for what it was worth, he was kind of glad to see it. Out of all of them, ironically, their only sister had a unique burden placed on her, being rejected the moment she was born only because she wasn't a boy. It wasn't fair to her, and at least she got some validation for her existence when their coldest sibling talked with he about... anything, really. She was still the peacemaker between the four of them, but it was nice to have interaction among the quartet regardless.
Not that he was thinking about that now. Unlike Gojo, Touya had little, if any, interest in boys or girls at their school, wanting far more to train and study than to distract himself with something like dating. But puberty was a thing and... as that hand slid over his chest, some of those thoughts and sensations came wandering back. Gojo's other hand passed some of the bandages on his chest to keep his burns safe and the cool that exuded from it helped him relax almost instantly. Familiar and calming, soothing the heat in his body. Arms splayed out to his side, chest rising and falling with his breaths, yet his eyes closing as a soft exhale of relief drifted out of his lips. Feels good as he goes to his shoulders and arms too, fingers curling a little and a pouting scowl coming back to his lips again.]
Urusei! I kept you at bay for ten whole minutes! [Touya opens his eyes and glares at his brother when he leans over him, nose to nose. He's even mature enough to stick his tongue out at him for the taunting, staring right into those crystalline eyes.] I always try harder.
[Touya licks the frost off his lips almost instinctively. He actually really likes it when Gojo does that. Like a quick, one lick snowcone treat. When his twin sits up--on him still--Touya grunts a bit and pushes at Gojo's legs.]
Feeling bad? You're not getting sick are you? [There's concern mixed with a tease of his own. The mighty Gojo getting bothered by a little cold. But he still doesn't want his brother getting sick and pushes up on his elbows when the other teen slides down to sit on his lap instead of his chest. That's better. He frowns at the way his legs squeeze around his hips and the hands settling on his toned stomach, making him flex instinctively under his shirt.]
Yeah but that's all you do: talk to them. You never go anywhere with them. [Touya hadn't been ignoring his brother's actions.] Do you just like teasing them or something, Gojo? [His eye narrow, not at all liking his brother thinking he's "wasting" time being with Touya.]
(Gojo had come to resent their father for his blatant disinterest in Touya. He felt like Touya didn't deserve such blatant dismissal. Just because he wasn't capable of the exact thing Endeavor wanted from him...Such a waste. Gojo mostly found himself only caring because Touya cared. Still...Sometimes he wondered if it wasn't for the best. He'd never say that to Touya, at least not these days, but he felt like Touya was above the hero bullshit. He had greater things he could accomplish. Gojo wasn't sure what those things were, but he felt confident all the same.
Maybe it was just his blind love for his brother talking though.)
Ten minutes. You say that like I should be impressed. (Said with coy smoothness, his mouth flicking up at the corner, giving him a feline smirk.)
Oh, I don't doubt that.
(Touya was a lot better than he used to be, but Gojo would keep on teasing. He watches Touya lick his own mouth, lick away that ice, and he feels something hot spread through his chest and all the way down to his stomach.)
No. (He doesn't budge at the push. If anything, it makes him squeeze tighter around Touya. He scratches his fingers at Touya's stomach and he feels annoyed at Touya's call-out of his behavior with the boys at school.)
I didn't think you paid any attention to that. (It was half true. He had always desperately hoped Touya noticed but had never been certain until now. That annoyance turns to elation as he realizes it meant that his brother was watching him after all.
He looks up from his hands to Touya's eyes again, smirking wider.)
Yeah. (He might as well admit it.) Boys are really cute when they get annoyed with me.
(He lifts his hands and cups them around Touya's face, giggling lowly.)
Like the look on your face right now is adorable, Touya-chan. ('Chan' because Gojo was insufferable like that. He rubs his thumbs over Touya's cheekbones and leans towards him. Like he's about to actually kiss him, but he stops short.)
I could go somewhere with them, I bet. If I let them. I'd let a boy lure me off and do unspeakable things to me. It would be fun. (He keeps his hands on his brother's face, watching him intently now for his reaction.)
We aren't little kids anymore, after all. And there's more to life than this. (Training, he means. He drops his hands from Touya's face but he doesn't lean back. He stays close to his brother, unblinking gaze focused.)
But don't worry. You're my favorite boy to tease. That counts for something, I think.
[Greater things. Blind love. Two ideals that could result in something disastrous in the future. Powder kegs that need only a spark to finally go off. Touya's fury and despondence over his father ignoring him, all the focus on his youngest sibling, his own disgust at his body not cooperating with his Quirk, the dreams and ambitions that continued to burn away inside him with no way of stopping, clashing with all the cautioning and attempts to dissuade him by his mother and other two siblings, the entirety continues to build up and build up inside him. Of course he cared; he wants to be a hero! He wants Endeavor to acknowledge him, to admit that he is great enough to achieve the goal set before him. But each time...
His brother bests him again and all it does is drive Touya to continue further and go harder next time. Until there's no one who can best him. Not Shouto. Not Endeavor. Not Gojo. Everyone and everything should be nothing before his flames. That's the kind of power he should wield!]
You fucking should be. [Pouting at him despite the anger in his tone. He doesn't do all that well when Gojo starts to pound into him the loss.] It's a full two minutes more than last time!
[The teasing is only ebbed by those hands working on his chest to cool him off; Touya puts up with the ribbing in exchange for getting his temperature lowered and the burns in his skin eased. Plus the occasional snowcone lip gloss is a nice treat. Still gonna "hmph" at him.]
Hey! You're squeezing! [Touya pushes at him again, trying to still be mad despite Gojo's knees tickling at his ribs when he contracts. To say nothing of those fingers wiggling around on his stomach. Makes him flex on reaction.]
Why the hell wouldn't I? You shouldn't be hanging around trash like that. [They were Todoroki; with their powerful Quirks and the blood of one of the greatest heroes in their veins, people like the students at their school could never understand them, didn't deserve their attention either. Touya's eyes are narrowed when Gojo looks back up at him. The pout from before melts into a scowl at the confirmation.]
You want them to be annoyed with you? [That reminds him of a cat playing with its food. But the irritation turns to surprise when hands cup his face (okay so that feels nice since his jaw line's pretty hot right now). His twin's a weirdo sometimes...]
What look? I don't have a look! [Protesting forever.] And don't call me "-chan"! I'm older than you! [By just a few minutes, but still, he takes that claim with pride. Touya's eyes widen when Gojo leans down at him like that, tensing up a bit with anticipation. Is he gonna-?! Oh. Stopped.]
No you wouldn't. You'd've done it already. [Touya's back to glaring at him, voice dropping to a scoff of disbelief as he calls his twin out on that taunting claim. Turquoise eyes fix on the crystalline blue, almost glowing from that internal fire.] None of them deserve to do any "unspeakable" thing with you. You're too good for them.
[Touya heats up some when Gojo goes for that "more to life" crap again. Like Rei, their mother, trying to convince him there are other routes to life, that he doesn't have to do this, reminding him he can pick something else. Right, she doesn't understand. And as much as he cares about Gojo, despite how close they are, his twin can't understand either. He's far too carefree to 'get' the pressure and promise.
But the heat eases off some when Gojo offers that other tease and Touya ignores the first comment, not wanting to get into another one of their pointless arguments.]
I'll always be your favorite. And you're mine. [Touya glances down, before resolving and lifting his gaze to Gojo.] So... don't do anything stupid with those other boys. [His eyes narrow.] Or I'll kill them.
(Ahhh. He considers for a moment pressing on that spot just a bit longer, just a bit harder, but decides to spare his brother with kindness today. He smiles instead, huffing.)
Nnn. Okay, okay. It was impressive. Every minute does count in a fight. (Even Gojo knew that for as disinterested in hero stuff as he could be. He still understood the world that they lived in and knew that it was better to be prepared than caught off guard. No one in their family had any choice but to be prepared. You simply couldn't be the children of Endeavor and expect a truly peaceful life. Gojo admired his brother's drive to be the best.
He should want to be the best. He deserved to be the best.
He squeezes harder, laughing at Touya's reaction.)
You can handle it, you giant flaming baby. (He tips his head to watch his brother, listen to him. Some part of him actually agreed with Touya's disapproval. It was hard to grow up a Todoroki without a sense of superiority, and Gojo certainly had one. Everyone outside of their family always seemed so weak. Weak-willed or weak with power. They weren't interesting at all.)
Yeah. Annoying a guy is sometimes easier than just flirting with him outright. You get his attention on you, but most guys don't know how to handle direct flirting. It's cute watching them blush and stammer, but they usually run off because they can't handle it. (He seems like he's talking directly to Touya right now, or maybe he's not. Who can ever tell with Gojo?) But when you annoy them, you stand out in their mind and their attention is put on you directly. They won't just run off.
(Kinda like how Touya wasn't running off right now. He laughs again, louder now. Only a few minutes older, but he'd give his brother the honor of eldest. He rests his forearms against either side of Touya's head, which means his body is squished up against Touya's. It's comfortable for Gojo and from afar, would look completely obscene probably. He really does look like he's about to kiss him at any second.
Instead, he just listens to him. He smiles faintly, because yeah, Touya was completely right. He would have done it already if he really wanted to. Then his smile flickers away completely when Touya starts going on about how those guys don't deserve him. He sits up again, a stricken look on his face. Oh. Oh!
I'll always be your favorite. And your mine. Something soften and warm spills into Gojo's typically cold gaze. The threat to kill any boys he messes around only causes Gojo to warm up further, and it's times like these where he wondered if he had some fire lurking within him after all. His stomach was fluttering, and he felt so - loved.
Gojo spent so much of his life feeling isolated and alone. Touya was the only person who had ever been able to ease that agony. Make him feel seen, heard. Cared for. He was usually the one professing his feelings for Touya, whining, clinging to him, wanting every second of attention on him. Hearing Touya return the affection always served as a complete emotional obliteration.)
I won't. I promise. (Well-behaved for once, but only because it suited him to be in this moment. He smiles with open tenderness at his brother then.) I've always been yours. No lowlife asshole would change that.
(He looks away from Touya, for just a moment, his gaze brightening sharply.)
You're the only person in this world who is worth anything. You're the only one for me. Everyone else...(Including his father - especially his father. He scoffs, turning to look back down at Touya.) They're background noise. I wish you realized that more often. You're better than all of them.
(He bends over Touya again and this time? This time he does kiss him. He always thought he'd be a lot more scared to do it, but it feels natural and easy - like everything else with Touya. A press of lips and Gojo holds onto the feeling, the intimate clash of ice with heat. It was better than he possibly could have ever imagined, and he felt...Calm. He felt perfect. Whole again. He wasn't even afraid of what Touya might do. Not now.)
Course it does. [Except to people who can manipulate time to a degree with their Quirks. Even Gojo's strange ability to somehow "freeze" time with the sheer coldness of his ice, preventing things from reaching him and giving him ample time to do whatever the fuck he wants. It's an extremely powerful Quirk; even Endeavor's surprised that his wife's Quirk had changed to something so intense when inherited by her son. But it still wasn't exactly what the man had been looking for, and with Gojo's relative disinterest in becoming a hero, he'd moved on.
Touya squirms a bit at the added squeeze, whining a little. Rude. Gojo can be such a bully at times.]
I'm not a baby, you frigid dick! [The words lacked any real heat or malice, more a protest to the treatment and still ribbing his twin back. He frowns as Gojo continues to explain what kind of kicks he gets out of bothering other guys, eyes studying his face like there's another answer sitting there.] Gee, don't see how anyone could be annoyed by you. Wouldn't you flirting with them count as annoying them?
[Whether they run off or stand their ground, either one is going to leave them with Gojo stuck in their mind, from shock or anger. Touya's obviously never tried it, so he's kind of curious. His twin's always been a bit more outgoing than him around other people when they were younger, nowadays far more so.
Kind of hard to run off when you've got this guy sitting on your damn lap. Besides, Touya never runs away! He wasn't raised to back down or give up. All the kids inherited Endeavor's stubbornness, though some were more tempered with Rei's patience than others. At least he's not trying to throw Gojo off him as the other boy gets settled atop him like that, caging his head in with his arms and leaning down low. Somewhere in his mind, he can see how this would read, his brother on top of him, face so close it's almost as if he's going to touch his mouth with his. That's... that's "wrong", right? Or does he even care?]
Well yeah. [Touya retorts with a "duh" emphasis on the second word. How did Gojo think he wasn't? Touya got along with him the most, even if he was close to Natsuo as well. Seeing the warmth in his brother's eyes is kind of strange, so used to the cold gaze instead. But it's nice to see. Nice to know his twin isn't completely an ice statue, still human despite his power and attitude.]
Good. Cause... you're the one I feel like I can talk to most. [Even if a lot of that talking was bemoaning his existence, expressing his rage and frustrations, asking about being born and being replaced. Trying Natsuo and probably even Gojo's patience a few times. And yet, he still clings to his twin, relying on him for support and validation he doesn't get anywhere else. The smile above him is a quiet reward for all of that.] Heh, lowlife asshole. Don't got any of those clamoring at me.
[At least none he's paid any attention to. Listening to Gojo's speech about him reaffirms a few things. About both of them. Th only person in the world worth anything... Well, he knew he was going to be the best; that was the goal of his life, right? What it should've been. Should still be.] I'm going to be better than all of them. And I'll prove it.
[No matter what it tak- oh. Gojo just kissed him. Touya's eyes widen at the feeling, at the sheer action of his brother kissing him like that. Cool lips against his warm ones. It's strange, a little weird, but not unpleasant. And the longer it lasts, the better it feels, until Touya presses into the kiss and returns it with a small, experimental noise.]
(Maybe one day Touya would realize that he was well above hero work too. That he was above the schools, the social expectations, the bullshit genetic purity. It was hard to talk to him about it, but Gojo tried. He sometimes wondered if he could have been closer to Touya if he had mindlessly agreed to use their combined powers to be some sort of wildly unstoppable duo. It would have been fun to show their father how stupid he was for treating their mother like a subspecies and not taking advantage of the relationship there.
After all, figuring out to beat one person's quirk was hard enough, but a matching set? Gojo liked to try and make combined attacks with Touya, but it was always a pain to get there. People just didn't do that.)
Some people are extremely charmed by my flirting! I'm really cute, after all. (Seeee? He pokes his own cheek as if it proved his point. Which, to be fair, it kind of did.
This was the part of Gojo that had been impacted by his own family without any of them realizing it. That intense social isolation their father had put them through, that brainwashing conviction that the Todoroki clan was of the finest grade out there. As much as Gojo liked to think it didn't have any impact on him, it had. He had been directed by his father in a way his father likely never anticipated. Everything had always been about their family from the very beginning. Some of Gojo's earliest memories had been of his father telling him how important Touya was.
"Your brother is the most special person in this world, okay?" Looking back on it now, he realized it had just been Endeavor's way of holding great expectations over Touya, but he had wanted the entire family to support that expectation. Gojo didn't get the same love purely because of his white hair and icy powers. He was content to be in his brother's shadow.
He started to believe that his brother was the center of their universe too, even after it had been clear that he didn't have what his father was looking for in a son. By then, Gojo had already made up his own mind that Touya really was the perfect guy. Some twisted part of Gojo had convinced himself a long time ago that his father would even praise a union between them. Keep it in the family. What better way to show dedication than by falling in love with his own twin brother? Right? Was it so wrong? Wasn't that what his father had wanted anyway?
No, probably not, and Gojo had gotten to the age where he had realized that. Especially with how his father had begun to look at him. It made Gojo want to act cruder around his brother, it made him want to rebel, and made something open up inside of him. He wanted to show Endeavor what he had done, but more than that, he just wanted what he wanted.
His brother even agreed with him, didn't he? Thinking no one deserved Gojo, thinking that those other lousy guys weren't worth his time, that Touya would always be the best man in his life. He was right. From Gojo's perspective...He was just agreeing with his family. Besides, it's not like Touya and him could have kids. That's where stuff got messy, wasn't it? They could do whatever they wanted and there wouldn't be physiological consequences. He saw it as lucky, as godsent maybe.
So, when his brother actually kisses back, even just a little, with that small noise, something blooms inside of Gojo. A definitive feeling of being right all along, of finding some sense of inner peace. He would die for his brother in a heartbeat. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. He'd let his brother use him any way he needed to to get where he wanted.
Ahh. He opens his mouth against Touya's and slips his tongue against Touya's mouth, wanting to make sure his brother knew this wasn't an innocent peck. That this was something mature and intense. He didn't know how to kiss, but he knew tongue was for the serious stuff. He breaks the kiss a moment later, pulling up so that he could see his brother's face.
He blinks in surprise. Suspended in the air all around them were perfect snowflakes frozen in air. He looks away from Touya, his breath appearing in a puff of clouds. A small bubble of ice had appeared around them, beautifully crystalized, as if some part of Gojo knew this moment should be hidden from the world. Gojo sits up entirely then and smiles.)
Wow...I didn't even know I could do this. (He opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out to touch one of the snowflakes. It melts on the tip of his tongue and he looks down at Touya. He was radiating from the kiss, and now, from the manifestation of a new move.)
[Perhaps they could have teamed up; even Touya knows that their Quirks working together would be extremely formidable. But with the differences in their bodies and how they handled the power of their Quirks, the imbalance would end up struggling as Touya's pride competed with his own endurance, while Gojo's skill competed with his apathy. Would that make them good heroes together? Possibly, since they could somewhat alleviate each other's weaknesses. Touya's physical and Gojo's emotional.
He'd be lying if he said it wasn't fun to create tag-team attacks with Gojo. Touya had a good number of fond memories with those training sessions, all the way from steam clouds to flaming ice.]
Does it make you cute when you tell people that? [Touya grins up at him, reaching to push at one of Gojo's hands to get it off his cheek. Bastard's making his own dimples. That's cheating.
It's true he didn't think those other guys were worth Gojo's time and attention. Despite Touya's focus on his training and ever-growing power, he wasn't blind to his twin brother's actions and attitude. How he'd changed from the young boy he grew up with in his childhood to this teenager. With the rebellion, the coldness, and yet the same passion that gave him his own freedom. It was flattering that Gojo directed so much of his own attention towards Touya, likely not helping the other boy's pride. But it was too addicting to have someone acknowledge him as the best thing in his life. After his father abandoned him, replaced him. Touya didn't think it was "using" Gojo to accept that from him; Gojo loved being close to him after all, right? (Yeah, not gonna have a baby with you, bro.)
But all of that comes to a burning forefront when Gojo kisses him, prompting many of those untended affections and attentions to come rushing to the surface. The coolness of his lips, the softness of his skin, combined with that swell of wanting to be here with him. Of being happy to have him close and indulge in those feelings Touya knows are only for him.
He tenses when the kiss suddenly gets a lot wetter, only a second later realizing it's Gojo's tongue. Oh. That's... um... is that how people do it? He's never seen his parents kiss, so... After a few seconds, he opens his mouth hesitantly. And then gulps when Gojo's tongue takes a quick sweep inside. Just one, short in and out, but it still leaves Touya a little squirmy when his brother breaks the kiss. He's left making a face, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth.] You put your tongue in my mouth...
[He doesn't sound disgusted? Mostly weirded out, trying to decide if he liked the sensation or if it was too strange. But that fades away when he glances around and notices the change in the air. Snowflakes. Floating around them. Leaving his breath a white cloud at the protective shield made around them. The privacy and intimacy it creates, as well as acknowledge this is between them and only them... it's surprisingly touching and Touya sits up as well when Gojo does.]
It's pretty, Gojo. [Touya forgets the weirdness of tongue in his mouth as he mimics his twin and licks one of the snowflakes in the air. It melts, easily, and he grins at the sensation, that bite of cold and the little spread of water. Of course he can see the tactical side of it, but figures talking battle strategies over this isn't what Gojo would want.] It probably wouldn't have made this... but if you wanna kiss me again and see if it makes another one, you can!
(He had enough ego to think that there were few things in life that made him less cute. More than anything though, he cared what Touya thought. It was easy to have unstoppable arrogance when the rest of the world didn't matter. He just wanted Touya's attention, his approval. Was he really so different from his brother after all? Touya was desperate for their father's attention and approval, so was Gojo that far from the tree? There must be a recessive gene in the Todoroki pool that made them all kind of desperate that way.
But it had paid off in Gojo's case. Or at least partially. He's unsure if Touya is kissing him back because he actually wanted to, or if because Gojo was kind of forcing him into this corner. Then again, would Touya really allow himself to be forced into anything he didn't actually want? Hm.
It would be easier if this was just a physical thing. If he had a passing desire for his brother. No less weird, but at least it could be dealt with after some awkward rolling around and mindless pawing. But there's something more. He loved him, loved him hard and deep in the kind of way that would make him follow after Touya indefinitely.
He snorts at his brother's surprise of the tongue, brows raising.)
You really are a total virgin, aren't you? That's how you kiss when you really want someone, Touya. (He says this with a grin, but there's a lifted tone to his voice to suggest that Touya was naive for not knowing this already.) Are you really so consumed with fighting that you don't know how to want someone like that? Jeez...
(But he's glad, in a way. It meant that Touya hadn't been paying attention to others at least.
That's all after the fact though. Touya thinks his snowglobe and the flakes within it are pretty and that makes Gojo feel warmer than even the kiss had. He smiles at his brother. That amusement from earlier flickers out and is replaced with easy, simple love as he watches Touya take one of the snowflakes onto his tongue.)
I really love you, Touya. I mean it. I do...(His voice waivers and then Touya is asking for another kiss. He pushes himself to his feet and offers both of his hands to his brothers.)
You kiss me this time. Just grab me and kiss me like in the movies! (It was partly fantasy he wanted to live up, but there was actually some logic too. He's pretty sure it had to do with the fluttering excitement he had felt, and being grabbed and kissed suddenly by his brother would no doubt replicate a similar feeling. He could be tactical too.)
[granted, it was kind of a rush on his pride to have someone so intent on being with him, being noticed and accepted and all the things he wanted from endeavor (and more in gojo's case) but instead directed towards him. gojo's love and attention came like a wave, hot and intense despite the guy's icy quirk. hell if touya was going to turn it down. even if it was running on the taboo all over the damn place. why not give another middle finger to his father? but probably in secret.
nah, he was doing it because he wanted to. gojo should know he could never force touya into doing something he didn't want to do. he had the same stubbornness endeavor passed onto all his kids. refusing to quit despite everything in the world being against that path. kissing gojo back was because the initial one... felt really good.
the snort gets a pout and touya's lips purse at the response.] So? [snappy snappy at him, fluffing defensively under his brother's weight.] I've been focusing on other things! [not making out with people or practicing his kissing with whatever gojo practiced on.] When you really want someone... Wha- no! I know how to want someone! I just... haven't wanted someone like that before.
[because yes, consumed with fighting. so he didn't have time for distractions like that. but with gojo, the two kind of go hand in hand. attraction and training, they can do both, right? as he plays with the snowflakes around them, he finds the pressure on him and the coolness on his tongue, as well as the memories of gojo's mouth, a mixture of relaxing and warming. touya's attention drops to his twin again with that confession.]
Like... um... go on a date love? [he has no idea. but when he request for another kiss is denied, he stubbornly chases after it and stands up, only taking ONE hand cause he can stand on his own, thank you, hmph!] Bleh. I hate those kind of movies. [mushy stuff. but he still grabs his brother by the lapels of his jacket and pulls him in, lifting up on his toes (just a little!) and pressing his mouth against gojo's in a warm, albeit unpracticed kiss. trying to replicate what his brother did. without the tongue. for now.]
(The day he saw Touya willingly flip off their father would be a grand day indeed. But this day was even better. He was entranced by his brother's reactions, his eyes shimmering in delight. Now that he had made a formal move and not been rejected, he kind of felt like he had jumped the first real hurdle. Some part of him felt calmed by the gesture, realizing that the worst was behind.
Or at the very least, even if Touya didn't return his feelings, he certainly wasn't rejecting him from his life entirely either.)
I suppose that's a good thing. I'd be so jealous if you were.
(Insufferably jealous. Even if he is marginally offended that his brother never wanted him back like that. One more thing to change, but Gojo felt like he could handle it no problem.)
Then I can be your first. (He leans towards his brother, grinning wider.) And your only.
(If he knew what was good for him anyway. Yeah, Gojo really, really did not have the hero-type personality going for him. Gojo gives his brother a flat look before he rolls his eyes.)
Yes, Touya-chan. I just kissed you, didn't I? That's what people do when they like each other like that.
(Okay, so, he knew some people didn't kiss for romance. They didn't need to delve into the specifics. Plus...! He's back to grinning when Touya gets up. He looks like he may as well have won all the money in the world when Touya grabs his jacket, when he pulls him, yanks him into a kiss like it was something Touya wanted just as badly.
There was a crossed line just then. Even though Gojo had just confessed, had kissed, there had still been some part of his mind that had been half-baked with airy romantic thoughts. But being kissed felt different than being the one to initiate. His eyes remain open, but only for a moment. He realizes dimly that he would have wanted this with Touya even if Touya wasn't his brother. He realized that his crush wasn't just one of familial resentment and dependency. It wasn't just the product of a bizarre upbringing.
It was earnest. He actually just liked Touya. Standing on his toes, he holds Touya's wrists delicately. Then he sinks against Touya, moving his hands instead to wrap around Touya's neck. Around them, the ice globe became thicker and thicker until it was a dense wall of ice. Ice began to appear in intricate patterns, growing inward the longer the kiss went until it was fused perfectly around them. The air had dropped drastically in temperature, to freezing degrees. It was just them. Nothing could be heard from the outside.
It was so relaxing. He breaks the kiss, gazing at Touya in quiet wonder.)
I think...(He hesitates, tipping his head back to stare up at the spectacle around them. Snowflakes were still occasionally floating down. He raised a hand and he realizes he can feel the moisture in the air.)
This is happening because I'm feeling protective of you. Of this.
[hard to say the feelings are returned or not, since touya obviously cares about his brother, but hasn't ever really thought about him in a romantic or sexual light. he's been are pretty distracted and focused guy growing up. made even moreso when his puberty finally kicked in, his growth spurt started, and his flames began to change as his quirk strengthened. but here gojo was, pressing him to the ground and kissing him and he wasn't turning his twin away. it felt good, both physically and emotionally, the attention...]
Don't be jealous. No one's really caught my eye or anything. [he hadn't been interested in dating or other people, disdaining their fellow students at school and really only being close with gojo and natsuo. it's a new line of thought right now, looking at his twin in this kind of light.]
My first? [touya blinks as gojo leans closer to him, wondering if gojo was proposing to him or making some kind of claim. it sounds weird, but at the same time, sounds good. to have his focus like that would keep gojo with him and touya didn't want to lose his brother either.] Uh... okay?
Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me! And don't call me "chan" either. [pouting at him again. always hates it when gojo does that to him. he grumps further at the reminder.] I know. [people kiss when they like each other. whether that's love or lust or whatever. he's not stupid. simply hasn't put any focus on that area. but he has enough knowledge to be able to respond to that challenge and kiss his brother back!
he gives his wrists a small tug, wanting to see if he can pull them out of his brother's hands. even if he's standing on his toes with his hands in his brother's jacket, he's not his captive. well, kind of is, since he's currently pretty captivated by him. success! gets his hands out of his wrist. only to find those hands going around his neck instead, cupping him and letting his throat feel the soft skin of gojo's palms. but unfortunately for his twin... touya's distracted from the kiss the moment he notices the ice dome around them growing patterns and designs. so yeah, his eyes are roving around when the kiss breaks, admiring the patterns in the ice and how the dome's all grown shut around them.]
This is so cool... [touya breathes that out in a low murmur of amazement. takes a second for him to factor what gojo just said.] Protect me? [he looks at his brother, both touched and confused.] You know I'm strong, Gojo. [even if he understands his brother's probably talking about the moment and his feelings rather than him personally.] But... I like this. That you wanna protect me.
(Gojo wouldn't be too shocked by all that. Gojo wondered when the day would come that Touya realized there were more interesting, more important things than training.)
Let me know if someone does. (Then he can be insufferable about it with them. He thankfully wasn't too worried about that. The good thing about Touya was his hyperfocus on other shit.
He was definitely making a claim.)
Okay, Touya-kun. (He really drags out the 'kun.' He has to resist the urge to roll his eyes again out of spite, but he behaves for the sake of a kiss. He leans back to look at his own work. Touya isn't wrong. It was cool. He reaches out to touch some of it, humming.)
Sure, you're strong, but there are more things to protect you from than just a fight. (He wasn't an idiot. He knew why his power was manifesting this exact way.) I don't actually want to get you in trouble.
(He snorts, finally stepping away from his brother, suddenly almost shy because of the admittance.)
Obviously, I want to do that. You're my brother. (He reaches out his hand over his own ice, trying to see if he could melt it down, but he really had no heat in him.)
...You're probably going to have to melt this though.
[when the ambition in his head was finally shown to be futile and he truly gave up on the dream that had been ignited within him. then he would find something more important than training and winning back endeavor's favor.
but that didn't mean he couldn't be distracted or take breaks from time to time.]
Uh-huh. [kinda distracted right now, thankfully. from his twin making a claim on him to the dome of ice showing a bunch of marvelous designs and growths. to think gojo's power could expand this much due to his emotions. guess they really were cut from that same cloth.] Don't make me call you Gojo-jii-san.
[probably because a lot of the other "cuter" suffixes he could use to tease gojo would just make the guy pleased as heck. the kiss still lingers on his lips and touya's trying to resist the urge to reach up and touch his mouth, as if to confirm what just happened was really and truly reality.]
I'm not gonna get in trouble... [even though he knew what gojo was talking about and kind of annoyed because they'd have to hide it from everyone. social norms and taboos exist and even touya knew this kind of thing wasn't acceptable. which... kind of made it exciting as well? sneaking around, doing something just between the two of them.]
I don't wanna melt it. Not right now at least. [touya steps up beside his brother instead, looking around the ice and reaching out to touch it as well. the designs, he can feel them under his fingertips as he wanders around the dome, enjoying the power and detail his twin put into the work. even if subconsciously.] Neh, Gojo... You still think I'm worth something... right? I'm not a mistake...
(Muttered lowly because he knew his brother was barely listening. He's fondly exasperated though. It was hard to be that annoyed when his brother was looking around him like the world had been coated in gold.)
Ew...You won't call me that. That's such an annoying mouthful!
(Touya is 100% correct. Gojo was annoying by birthright and that meant it was hard to annoy him. Gojo was thinking about the kiss too, watching his brother rather than watching the ice around him. Now that they had done it, it made everything feel a hell of a lot more real. Confirmed everything. He somehow felt older because of it too.
Was that what kissing did to people? Or was it only because he knew that what he just did wasn't so simple? Because yeah. He knew they would be sneaking around too. At least if Touya wanted to kiss him again and Gojo wondered if he would want that again. On his own terms, anyway, or if he would wait for Gojo to corner him.)
Yeah, if you don't get caught.
(Otherwise...
He's content to just watch his brother admire his work. He would never admit it out loud, mostly because he preferred feigning complete indifference to this stuff, but he found himself deeply pleased by his brother's approval of his work. That Touya was admiring an extension of Gojo, accidental or otherwise.
He blanches at the question. What the hell kind of...
He frowns, moving forward to snatch one of Touya's hands so he could wrench his brother around to face him. There was a certain fierceness on his face then, an unusually serious expression removing any mirth or playfulness to him. This was a side of Gojo that rarely came out too.)
Don't say such stupid stuff about yourself, Touya. (He squeezes his wrist tightly.)
You're perfect. (His eyes get a strange gleam to them and the grip on Touya became chilled.)
And you're worth more than what our father deserves. (Finally, seeming to realize what he was doing, Gojo lets go of Touya's wrist and forces himself to calm down.)
[good thing he didn't hear him because touya would've pouted at him and protested the comment. it's just, this whole dome is so cool! getting distracted in it is easy. wandering around the icy ball, tracing his fingers over the designs and shapes. one of the best things about ice is that it's solid, so his brother can make constructs touya can't.]
I can if you do! [touya grins at him over his shoulder. it's no different than gojo continuing to call him -chan and other names! but he obviously wouldn't be doing it out of meanness, cause he loves his brother. even though he's still worrying his lips with his fingers as if to test the reality of that kiss, it doesn't seem to bother him so much as adds to the amazement he's feeling while wandering about the dome.
yeah, there are some thoughts skirting through his mind. it'd felt good, obviously, and he knew it both made gojo happy and despite his own confusion over it, couldn't deny it made touya happy too. if they wanted to do it again, however, they'd have to be sneakier about it. lucky for them, they still got to take baths together and sleep in the same room if they wanted. just couldn't let it be known they were staying up late or one of the servants might scold them. it's not healthy to run on so little sleep, you know.]
I'm not gonna get caught. [well, he says that, but touya's been caught several times while sneaking out for some training. most of the time he ignores his mother or his siblings and goes out anyways, cause none of them were actually going to stop him. endeavor's rage when he found out is always uncomfortable, but touya's become accustomed to it and has stopped caring much.
but the question... it comes from a deeper feeling inside him, part of the issues he's been dealing with ever since his father rejected him. gojo knows full well the struggles his twin's going through, even if touya holds that no one could really understand. mostly because natsuo and gojo don't have that aspiration to become a hero. never had that ambition placed within them. so they don't know what it's like to be... replaced.
touya pauses when he's caught by the hand, looking at gojo with a quiet gaze. even being pulled that hard doesn't faze him much. seeing his twin's angered expression is met with a calmness that seems almost detached. but the glaze of cold over his wrist and that tight grip on his joint at least shakes him back enough he's focused on gojo's response.
it brings a smile to his face, sincere, a little sad, but mostly happy in a gentle sort of way. to get to hear what he really wants to hear. touya ducks his head in a nod.]
I'm really... I'm really happy you feel that way, Gojo. [and leans in to pull his twin in for a big hug, squeezing him tightly because he needs the comfort and support. a lot.] You're gonna be really cool when you grow up.
(He sticks his tongue out at his brother and just wags it absently around for a few seconds, rolling his eyes. Gojo really needed to get over the habit of making such obnoxious faces, but like with most things, he'll never grow out of it. It's as close to agreeing to behave as Touya was going to get.
The tongue goes back in and he watches his brother touching his own lips and a small smile tug at his own. Touya was thinking about it then. Good. Like Touya, Gojo could see some excitement in sneaking around. How fun it would be to play footsie with his brother under the table during dinner - granted, he has done that before, but now he could be even more of a little shit. Poke his foot onto Touya's lap or something.
The possibilities were endless and he was dizzy just thinking about it. He was going to be absolutely merciless.)
Uh-huh. Better not or else it'll be a real pain for both of us.
(It's true that Gojo didn't understand. But they all had issues the others couldn't understand. Gojo had his own anxiety of being replaced in his brother's life one way or another - no matter how irrational it may be.
That smile...
Something pinches in Gojo's chest and he steps closer to Touya. It made him hate his father to think that Endeavor had made it so Touya could doubt himself like this. Then Touya is pulling him into a hug and Gojo clutches him just as tightly. He cups a hand against the back of Touya's head and holds him, feeling a viciousness rise within him. His expression was alarmingly chilled, blank.
He knew what kind of things he would do for the sake of his brother. He knew some of that would maybe scare Touya. It's how Gojo knew he would never cut it as a hero. Touya guided him in every way and without Touya, Gojo himself was as frigid and distant as the ice around them. He cared very little for those who he saw as weak and that happened to be literally everyone who wasn't Touya. Civilians disinterested him, other heroes bored him, and villains didn't intrigue him or drive him to fury.
What he cared about was changing how the world worked. This system wasn't cutting it and he saw that every day in his brother. He was a product of elitism.)
I love you so much, Touya. (Said again, but this time, there's a soft maturity in his tone.) You're all that matters. I don't want you to ever doubt yourself again.
(They were the strongest. He smiles.)
I'm already cool now. Literally and socially. (Heh, get it? Ice. He tugs back to look at Touya and proceeds to kiss him again. It's a simple kiss, a press of the lips, lingering, and then he breaks it. It felt good to be able to kiss Touya like this. He holds his brother's face between his palms, gazing at him intently.)
Just burn everything down that won't let you matter. What you don't burn, I'll destroy for you. I'd destroy dad if you let me.
[touya frowns at him and then wipes the tip of his finger down the tip of gojo's tongue. hmph. don't stick that out at him. it makes for a prime target. if gojo won't get out of that habit of making faces, then he's gonna take advantage of it cause he can. and he can behave however he wants. it won't bother touya, who focuses on other things.
well, maybe not act out all flirty with other boys now that they're looking at doing stuff together. wha- no! they're not gonna play footsies under the table! mostly because they'd get in trouble for ending up kicking each other under the dinner table and endeavor would yell at them and it'd just mess everything up again. he... he doesn't wanna make life harder on fuyumi and natsuo than he already does. gonna trap that stupid foot under his legs or something if it comes down to it.]
I'm not gonna. Relax. [and there are things he does so as to not make life harder on gojo either. even if his twin has his own issues with endeavor and their mom, touya doesn't want to drive one of his remaining anchors of comfort away. he needs gojo's support and comfort as well.
touya turns from the ice when gojo steps over to him. he watches him silently, the smile still there, even if it's there out of relief at his brother's kindness helping to cover over the pain and suffering he's enduring inside. holding him close helps just as much and he rests his face against his twin's shoulder, taking comfort in the coolness of his body and the physical caring those strong arms around his shoulders and torso bring him.
that promise of love is comforting and he rests in gojo's embrace, head turning so he could press his cheek to the other boy's chest, eyes wandering beside them to look at the ice dome shielding them from the rest of the world. he knows gojo has his own issues with the world, his own disinterests and a quiet, semi-hidden darker side that rebels and dislikes just as intensely as touya strives to be the hero endeavor once wanted him to be. like the darkness found the deeper you looked into a glacier. white ice on the outside, deepening to that beautiful blue, before fading into a blackness within.]
I know... and I'm gonna show you, and him, that I can do this. That I'm strong enough to become the number one.
[he leans back when gojo pulls him and looks up at him. just in time for him to kiss him. which touya returns. long enough to enjoy the linger and a tiny wisp of steamy mist to curl between them as their lips separate. but the words he gives him, however, earn a frown from the eldest todoroki, eyes pouting a little.]
Don't talk like that, Gojo. You're not some villain. I don't wanna destroy everything either. [he even had to admit that his attempt to attack shouto had been wrong. it wasn't his little brother's fault he was born. and he doesn't want to destroy endeavor either. how would he recognize touya if he was dead? how would he realize his son wasn't a mistake if he was destroyed? the dead won't admit they were wrong.] I wanna be a hero. It's okay if you don't, but... don't think like a stupid villain. I don't wanna end up fighting you. So... so don't go down that route.
[touya's expression quiets, taking a rare time where he's stepping up as the eldest sibling, even over his twin.]
Hn! (He makes another face at Touya's finger on his tongue. Though it's effective enough in distracting Gojo from the point.
He certainly didn't plan on flirting with other boys anymore. Even if they didn't say anything in terms of exclusivity, he felt like it was pretty obvious what the situation here was. You didn't just kiss your brother and then move on to something else, something less.)
Yeah, all right. (He trusts Touya more than anyone else in life, after all. And he knew Touya would wind up more impacted than he ever would be.
Did there even have to be a number one? Sometimes he wondered what his brother would do if Gojo trained just as hard and also wanted to be the number one hero? Could that rank even be shared? If it could, would Touya share it with him? It's a question he has always wondered. Wondering how lucky it was that Gojo didn't actually care. Would it have put a divide between them? He doesn't ask. He never asks. It was a hypothetical and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer, knowing how Touya had felt towards Shoto.
He stares at Touya, unblinking.)
I think villain is a really arbitrary word sometimes. (Did he actually sound like a villain or was it just because he didn't sound enough like a hero? Granted, he agreed that Touya attacking their kid brother wasn't great. Even Gojo had felt for the kid, but that's when he had started to worry the most about Touya. It was like he spent every day holding his arms out and waiting for the inevitable collapse.
His eyes narrow slightly and he tips his head, considering his brother's words.)
So, what, would you go against me if I were a villain?
(There's some hurt in his tone, but mostly, he's curious.
Good person. What did that even mean? Gojo's eyes flicker dimly and he pulls away from Touya. He knew good people wouldn't want to destroy their father, he knew good people didn't fall in love with their brothers, he knew good people wouldn't do the things he would be willing to do for Touya. He knew he wasn't a good person, but having Touya have faith in him like that...)
[that's how he felt. if gojo was going to kiss him, and kept saying he loved him, touya wasn't ignorant enough to realize that it meant more to his brother than some simple fling. and he was going to return that same sort of seriousness as well. might not be the same kind of "love" that gojo was professing (he's 15, come on, gojo, he's not thinking about it in that depth, give him a few years), but his fondness and affection for his twin are high in touya's life.
as for what touya would do if gojo actively tried to become the number one as well? that's an easy answer: he would keep training and strive to become even stronger than even his twin! to become the strongest. that's what endeavor promised he'd become. and even if his father abandoned him, touya knows he has to earn his attention back. if only he could become strong enough, driven enough, then he'd be able to show endeavor he was worth his attention again. that he could become the hero his father had told him he'd be. that he could achieve endeavor's mighty ambitions. even if it meant taking on his own brother in the race, touya would strive for it.
and truth be told, if the number one spot could be shared, if he and gojo ranked even, of course he'd share it with him! how proud would endeavor be if both his sons stood at the top! he'd be the proudest dad in the world, knowing his dream not only came true once, but twice. of course he'd be proud of them. and touya would be so damn happy, standing beside gojo in that place. might even cry. because sharing the spot with someone is far different than being displaced from it...]
You know what I mean. Someone who wants to destroy everything is a big bad villain. [touya frowns at his twin. yes he sounded like a villain! or even worse, like he was encouraging touya to become one, telling him to destroy everything that didn't say he mattered. that's a horrible, selfish way of looking at things, gojo!] Would you think someone who tried to destroy me because I didn't matter to them wasn't a villain?
[touya crosses his arms, halfway between a petulant pout and a serious focus.]
Yeah. I would. Because I'm your brother, and I'll knock some sense back into your head if I have to. That's what brothers do. They protect and support each other...
[even though it hurts to say those words, because he knows he's harbored some really nasty thoughts towards shouto, and touya's even been hurt by natsuo telling him to go talk to fuyumi sometimes when he came complaining about his existence to his little brother. gojo's been a major support in his life, so of course touya would fight him if his twin became a villain!]
I'd fight you to get you back, Gojo.
[sure, the idea of a "good person" is kind of vague, and touya's not blind to the reality that even "good people" have their own vices and problems. he doesn't think gojo's feelings towards him make him out not to be a good person. because he knows his brother would still protect people who are important to him in the end. the question makes him stare at his brother, surprised by it, then give him a confused, wondering look.]
You are a good person, Gojo. I... I want you to be happy. That's what I want.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
long one back. they'll be shorter from now on. guh.
When he heard about Gojo accidentally killing someone with his Quirk, he'd been surprised, but by then, things had already begun to fall apart for the burning twin of the Todoroki family. It turned out his Quirk, despite being stronger than even Endeavor's, was ill-suited for his body, which received the cold-resistant genes from his mother. Combined with this failure of his life's ambitions and Endeavor's arrogance and family prestige, Touya looked down on others in his class and world, believing he lived on another level than them. So what did it matter if his brother accidentally killed one? They shouldn't have gotten in his way. Besides, it was an accident. How was Gojo supposed to know? Some people had put out an eye or worse when their Quirks went out of control.
He never worried about that frozen gaze turned on him. Probably because he believed both his inherent resistance to the cold and the burning flames of his Quirk inside protected him from Gojo's eyes. Made it safe for his twin to take his sunglasses off around him so he didn't have to keep hiding those crystal blue eyes away from the world for once. It wasn't hard to see Gojo's growth as he reached towards adolescence. Between their mother's weak will, their father's ambitious pursuit of his dreams and his abandonment of the rest of his family for it, it affected each of the kids differently.
The same year Gojo killed someone had been the same year Shouto had been born, finally achieving what all four of Endeavor's other children could not.Leading to Touya's breakdown and attempted attack on his infant sibling to get Enji to notice him. It hadn't been Shouto's fault, really, and he admitted that to Gojo and Natsuo later, but to see his own "replacement" in front of him, knowing Endeavor would never look at him again, knowing he'd lost all hope at recovering the very reason for his own damn existence in this world... He thought if he could destroy his replacement, it would force Endeavor to acknowledge him. But it wouldn't. It couldn't.
Didn't stop him from noticing Gojo's pranks. From chilling the air when he stormed out of the room to freezing the training ground under their feet to turning Enji's drink to ice (neither of the last two did much, since the man easily melted whatever frigid prank played out, ignoring it as if Gojo didn't do a thing). Touya saw it more as attempts to get their father's attention rather than his own, however, and it drew a bit of a rivalry between him and his twin.
They'd always wandered that line, usually best friends and confidants, but occasionally due to Touya's pride and pain clashing with Gojo's carefree rebellion, it veered towards enemies. Because throughout all of the trauma of his childhood, Touya still desperately wanted to be a hero, to win back Endeavor's approval. Things he shared with Gojo and Natsuo so many times, crying as he held onto them, probably tiring the two out from hearing the same thing over and over. And no doubt exasperating Natsuo's patience if not also heating up Gojo's jealousy. It's true that both Gojo and Touya had the potential to surpass Endeavor in terms of the strength of their Quirks. But whereas Gojo's body was a perfect match for his Quirk, including having a more cooperative biology in terms of physical stature (Touya was a bit of a runt, with all his siblings growing taller than him, even his twin), Touya had to deal with his Quirk burning him and his physical strength lacking compared to Natsuo and Gojo.
When Touya as revealed to be unable to carry on the ambition Endeavor desired for him, that of surpassing him and taking the No. 1 Hero spot away from All Might, Enji turned his attention to Gojo, hoping to train him instead. But between his younger twin's ironic focus on Touya and him only possessing the icy Quirk from their mother, Endeavor abandoned him too in favor of Natsuo, who would also be labeled a failure, a lesser version of Gojo (which did Natsuo no favors in his own struggles), and finally the success with their youngest brother, Shouto. But after Touya attacked him, Endeavor began keeping Shouto separated from the rest of his children. It only made Touya despair more, since it meant he didn't get to see Endeavor much at all. He spent more time with Gojo at least, training with him and playing, trying to get a few breathers from the overwhelming pressure.
Fuyumi tried her best to keep the four of them close despite her twin brothers having element-related standoffish moments, with Gojo's frosty disinterest pushing anyone but Touya away and Touya's burning derision starting to alienate him from the rest of his siblings. But with their mutual pain over being ignored by their father, at least they could bond some over that. Touya alone was the fire user among their four and as his Quirk burned him up, it became Gojo, Fuyumi, or Natsuo's role to at least try and cover up for him when he snuck out to go train against Enji and Rei's wishes. Which usually led to the man yelling at Rei when it was discovered Touya slipped past her again, leaving Shouto to try and defend his mother, Fuyumi and Natsuo cowering in fear in another room, and Touya and Gojo glaring with mutual fire and ice from their own areas.
Admittedly, Gojo was more clingy to Touya than the elder twin was. Sometimes that closeness got on his nerves, especially because Gojo didn't seem to want to become a hero, which bothered Touya. Sure his strength in body and Quirk were impressive, top quality, but whereas Touya's Achilles' heel was in his body, Gojo's came in his nebulous ambitions. The rebellion and the dare-say hedonistic mindset of only wanting to do what he wanted to do because he was strong enough to do it worried both Rei and Enji. Touya found it both impressive and irritating, that his twin who could become a hero didn't seem like he wanted to. On the one hand, that mindset was a breath of fresh air and Touya, Fuyumi, and Natsuo sometimes like to hear Gojo talk about it. On the other hand, it was weird and Touya didn't agree with the lack of goal (then again, his mind was geared into Enji's goals, as he never had time to develop his own, something Gojo managed to avoid).
It was around puberty that things began to get more noticeable. Gojo was hanging around him more, he moved differently with Touya, started to become more touchy feeling as he draped over his twin. He didn't get the flirts at first, thinking Gojo was talking about someone else or reciting some cheesy lines from movies. But when he he began to realize they were aimed at him from time to time, it... was a strange experience? On the one hand, he instinctively found it weird, since Gojo's his brother. But on the other hand, there was no one he trusted more. And it wasn't like any of the Todoroki children weren't growing up to be lookers.
So when Gojo started to take his training more seriously, that quickly spurred Touya on as well, against the cautions of their mother towards Gojo for inspiring Touya to keep burning himself, and the warnings from Fuyumi and Natsuo, not wanting to see the brother they loved keep coming back to with injuries. But if Gojo was going to train with him and improve his Quirk, then Touya was willing to risk it. A reckless streak in him as well didn't care. If he grew strong enough, then Endeavor would notice him. Simple as that. Plus, ironically, training with Gojo at least allowed Touya to go longer without hurting himself, due to the ice keeping his body temperature down and muting the fire's burning effect until the elder twin's Quirk finally struggled past that safe limit. While Gojo was more on the elusive side of things, making it harder to hit him, Touya countered by flooding out more power, willing to turn the entire battlefield into a sea of flames for a pure overkill of brute force. (Gojo likely had to play damage control to keep his brother's fires from spreading out of their normal grounds...) At least the icy twin got his rewards when Touya let him help after their spars. Putting his hands on his body to cool him off, keep the burns at bay, relax his muscle.
Conversely, Touya never managed to last more than an hour of hard training. Despite his approaching growth spurt (so happy when he bested Fuyumi in height for once), he was still developing physically, playing catch up with the rest of his siblings. He'd have to take a break and rest, cool down with Gojo's help, before they could get back to it again. All the while his twin's patience levels for training continued to drain. Meaning when Gojo was done, he was done. Leaving Touya on his back, panting as his brother looked down at him with those icy blue eyes of his.]
Gojo! [Protesting already. Touya pouts up at him, knowing full well he wont' be able to convince him to continue going.] Can't we-- oof! [Apparently not. His breath rushes out as Gojo drops on his chest, knees pressing on his chest a little uncomfortably. It's a pure bully move and he scowls up at him for it.] You're a real pain in the butt, you know that?
[Of course he did; he could see it in those beautiful eyes of his. Gojo never had to wear his glasses around Touya. That was something he could give his twin and did so eagerly. The pout turns more into a grumpy expression when Gojo starts recounting payment ideas. How funny.] You don't kick it all the time! I won last week!
[Rawr!]
heh it's amazing. it was necessary
He got along okay with some kids at school, but he never put them on the same register as his brother. Not even close. People were just so boring. He didn't really even understand why Touya thought it was such a big deal to become a hero like their father, but he humored him all the same, even if some days he wound up teasing him about it. Mostly to get Touya riled up. He was so cute when he got angry!
When he got older, Fuyumi became the closest thing to someone outside of Touya. Mostly because she caught him looking at Touya in such a way one day and instead of the look his father had once given him, she gave Satoru a kind look. It had likely been pity, but it certainly hadn't been disgust. Satoru talked to her a bit more after that. Never about Touya, but...She was all right. She told him to be careful and he had merely grinned at her. He knew what he was doing - except he really didn't. He had zero experience in this realm of life, but he felt like he had done plenty of research on the subject.
Guys were easy anyway. Even though he didn't actually do anything with other guys, he had tested some stuff at school. Certain looks, certain whispered statements just to see what would happen. It crept through school that Gojo had kind of become a slut - but he really wasn't doing anything. He was just making some guys realize stuff about themselves they maybe hadn't been ready to realize. That wasn't his fault! It was kind of funny anyway. He just wished he could get some of those same looks and reactions out of his brother.
Currently, he was sliding his hands over Touya's chest. Less a come-on and more practical with perks. He was trying to cool his brother's body temperature down, and this wasn't the first time he's done this. He works his fingers over Touya's shoulders, kneading the muscle there. It would help with lingering soreness later. He slides his hands down his arms, smirking.)
You make it so easy, ni-chan. It's not my fault. (He bends over him, bringing them nose to nose, his eyes wide and unblinking.) Maybe try harder?
(He blows at Touya's mouth and it creates a small gust of icy moisture that freezes over the surface of his brother's lips. Not that it'd do anything, but it's a fun little trick. Gojo sits up, laughing, pushing his hair back.)
Ahhh I let you. Sometimes I just start feeling bad.
(Which was kind of true...Or he grew bored of the fighting. Or it was fun to see Touya brighten after a win. He wiggles back to straddle Touya's lap instead, alleviating the pressure on his chest. He squeezes his legs around Touya's hips and rests his hands on his stomach.)
I'm serious though! I want incentives from now on. I could be talking to cute guys! But here I am...Wasting my best years away...I'm so underappreciated.
Re: heh it's amazing. it was necessary
But Gojo remained the most constant in his life as their training picked up, leading to him spending more time with his twin and being more interested in what he had to say. Never wavered on his ambition to become a hero, as any attempts by Gojo to question him on it met the same flare or anger Touya lashed out at his other family members for trying to "make him quit" his goals. He wasn't going to quit! He'd prove he was the right one! He'd prove he had what a took! That he wasn't a failure!
Gojo at least gave him the outlet he needed, someone to help train him since Endeavor wouldn't and Fuyumi and Natsuo weren't interested. Touya noticed his twin was getting along more with Fuyumi and for what it was worth, he was kind of glad to see it. Out of all of them, ironically, their only sister had a unique burden placed on her, being rejected the moment she was born only because she wasn't a boy. It wasn't fair to her, and at least she got some validation for her existence when their coldest sibling talked with he about... anything, really. She was still the peacemaker between the four of them, but it was nice to have interaction among the quartet regardless.
Not that he was thinking about that now. Unlike Gojo, Touya had little, if any, interest in boys or girls at their school, wanting far more to train and study than to distract himself with something like dating. But puberty was a thing and... as that hand slid over his chest, some of those thoughts and sensations came wandering back. Gojo's other hand passed some of the bandages on his chest to keep his burns safe and the cool that exuded from it helped him relax almost instantly. Familiar and calming, soothing the heat in his body. Arms splayed out to his side, chest rising and falling with his breaths, yet his eyes closing as a soft exhale of relief drifted out of his lips. Feels good as he goes to his shoulders and arms too, fingers curling a little and a pouting scowl coming back to his lips again.]
Urusei! I kept you at bay for ten whole minutes! [Touya opens his eyes and glares at his brother when he leans over him, nose to nose. He's even mature enough to stick his tongue out at him for the taunting, staring right into those crystalline eyes.] I always try harder.
[Touya licks the frost off his lips almost instinctively. He actually really likes it when Gojo does that. Like a quick, one lick snowcone treat. When his twin sits up--on him still--Touya grunts a bit and pushes at Gojo's legs.]
Feeling bad? You're not getting sick are you? [There's concern mixed with a tease of his own. The mighty Gojo getting bothered by a little cold. But he still doesn't want his brother getting sick and pushes up on his elbows when the other teen slides down to sit on his lap instead of his chest. That's better. He frowns at the way his legs squeeze around his hips and the hands settling on his toned stomach, making him flex instinctively under his shirt.]
Yeah but that's all you do: talk to them. You never go anywhere with them. [Touya hadn't been ignoring his brother's actions.] Do you just like teasing them or something, Gojo? [His eye narrow, not at all liking his brother thinking he's "wasting" time being with Touya.]
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Maybe it was just his blind love for his brother talking though.)
Ten minutes. You say that like I should be impressed. (Said with coy smoothness, his mouth flicking up at the corner, giving him a feline smirk.)
Oh, I don't doubt that.
(Touya was a lot better than he used to be, but Gojo would keep on teasing. He watches Touya lick his own mouth, lick away that ice, and he feels something hot spread through his chest and all the way down to his stomach.)
No. (He doesn't budge at the push. If anything, it makes him squeeze tighter around Touya. He scratches his fingers at Touya's stomach and he feels annoyed at Touya's call-out of his behavior with the boys at school.)
I didn't think you paid any attention to that. (It was half true. He had always desperately hoped Touya noticed but had never been certain until now. That annoyance turns to elation as he realizes it meant that his brother was watching him after all.
He looks up from his hands to Touya's eyes again, smirking wider.)
Yeah. (He might as well admit it.) Boys are really cute when they get annoyed with me.
(He lifts his hands and cups them around Touya's face, giggling lowly.)
Like the look on your face right now is adorable, Touya-chan. ('Chan' because Gojo was insufferable like that. He rubs his thumbs over Touya's cheekbones and leans towards him. Like he's about to actually kiss him, but he stops short.)
I could go somewhere with them, I bet. If I let them. I'd let a boy lure me off and do unspeakable things to me. It would be fun. (He keeps his hands on his brother's face, watching him intently now for his reaction.)
We aren't little kids anymore, after all. And there's more to life than this. (Training, he means. He drops his hands from Touya's face but he doesn't lean back. He stays close to his brother, unblinking gaze focused.)
But don't worry. You're my favorite boy to tease. That counts for something, I think.
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His brother bests him again and all it does is drive Touya to continue further and go harder next time. Until there's no one who can best him. Not Shouto. Not Endeavor. Not Gojo. Everyone and everything should be nothing before his flames. That's the kind of power he should wield!]
You fucking should be. [Pouting at him despite the anger in his tone. He doesn't do all that well when Gojo starts to pound into him the loss.] It's a full two minutes more than last time!
[The teasing is only ebbed by those hands working on his chest to cool him off; Touya puts up with the ribbing in exchange for getting his temperature lowered and the burns in his skin eased. Plus the occasional snowcone lip gloss is a nice treat. Still gonna "hmph" at him.]
Hey! You're squeezing! [Touya pushes at him again, trying to still be mad despite Gojo's knees tickling at his ribs when he contracts. To say nothing of those fingers wiggling around on his stomach. Makes him flex on reaction.]
Why the hell wouldn't I? You shouldn't be hanging around trash like that. [They were Todoroki; with their powerful Quirks and the blood of one of the greatest heroes in their veins, people like the students at their school could never understand them, didn't deserve their attention either. Touya's eyes are narrowed when Gojo looks back up at him. The pout from before melts into a scowl at the confirmation.]
You want them to be annoyed with you? [That reminds him of a cat playing with its food. But the irritation turns to surprise when hands cup his face (okay so that feels nice since his jaw line's pretty hot right now). His twin's a weirdo sometimes...]
What look? I don't have a look! [Protesting forever.] And don't call me "-chan"! I'm older than you! [By just a few minutes, but still, he takes that claim with pride. Touya's eyes widen when Gojo leans down at him like that, tensing up a bit with anticipation. Is he gonna-?! Oh. Stopped.]
No you wouldn't. You'd've done it already. [Touya's back to glaring at him, voice dropping to a scoff of disbelief as he calls his twin out on that taunting claim. Turquoise eyes fix on the crystalline blue, almost glowing from that internal fire.] None of them deserve to do any "unspeakable" thing with you. You're too good for them.
[Touya heats up some when Gojo goes for that "more to life" crap again. Like Rei, their mother, trying to convince him there are other routes to life, that he doesn't have to do this, reminding him he can pick something else. Right, she doesn't understand. And as much as he cares about Gojo, despite how close they are, his twin can't understand either. He's far too carefree to 'get' the pressure and promise.
But the heat eases off some when Gojo offers that other tease and Touya ignores the first comment, not wanting to get into another one of their pointless arguments.]
I'll always be your favorite. And you're mine. [Touya glances down, before resolving and lifting his gaze to Gojo.] So... don't do anything stupid with those other boys. [His eyes narrow.] Or I'll kill them.
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Nnn. Okay, okay. It was impressive. Every minute does count in a fight. (Even Gojo knew that for as disinterested in hero stuff as he could be. He still understood the world that they lived in and knew that it was better to be prepared than caught off guard. No one in their family had any choice but to be prepared. You simply couldn't be the children of Endeavor and expect a truly peaceful life. Gojo admired his brother's drive to be the best.
He should want to be the best. He deserved to be the best.
He squeezes harder, laughing at Touya's reaction.)
You can handle it, you giant flaming baby. (He tips his head to watch his brother, listen to him. Some part of him actually agreed with Touya's disapproval. It was hard to grow up a Todoroki without a sense of superiority, and Gojo certainly had one. Everyone outside of their family always seemed so weak. Weak-willed or weak with power. They weren't interesting at all.)
Yeah. Annoying a guy is sometimes easier than just flirting with him outright. You get his attention on you, but most guys don't know how to handle direct flirting. It's cute watching them blush and stammer, but they usually run off because they can't handle it. (He seems like he's talking directly to Touya right now, or maybe he's not. Who can ever tell with Gojo?) But when you annoy them, you stand out in their mind and their attention is put on you directly. They won't just run off.
(Kinda like how Touya wasn't running off right now. He laughs again, louder now. Only a few minutes older, but he'd give his brother the honor of eldest. He rests his forearms against either side of Touya's head, which means his body is squished up against Touya's. It's comfortable for Gojo and from afar, would look completely obscene probably. He really does look like he's about to kiss him at any second.
Instead, he just listens to him. He smiles faintly, because yeah, Touya was completely right. He would have done it already if he really wanted to. Then his smile flickers away completely when Touya starts going on about how those guys don't deserve him. He sits up again, a stricken look on his face. Oh. Oh!
I'll always be your favorite. And your mine. Something soften and warm spills into Gojo's typically cold gaze. The threat to kill any boys he messes around only causes Gojo to warm up further, and it's times like these where he wondered if he had some fire lurking within him after all. His stomach was fluttering, and he felt so - loved.
Gojo spent so much of his life feeling isolated and alone. Touya was the only person who had ever been able to ease that agony. Make him feel seen, heard. Cared for. He was usually the one professing his feelings for Touya, whining, clinging to him, wanting every second of attention on him. Hearing Touya return the affection always served as a complete emotional obliteration.)
I won't. I promise. (Well-behaved for once, but only because it suited him to be in this moment. He smiles with open tenderness at his brother then.) I've always been yours. No lowlife asshole would change that.
(He looks away from Touya, for just a moment, his gaze brightening sharply.)
You're the only person in this world who is worth anything. You're the only one for me. Everyone else...(Including his father - especially his father. He scoffs, turning to look back down at Touya.) They're background noise. I wish you realized that more often. You're better than all of them.
(He bends over Touya again and this time? This time he does kiss him. He always thought he'd be a lot more scared to do it, but it feels natural and easy - like everything else with Touya. A press of lips and Gojo holds onto the feeling, the intimate clash of ice with heat. It was better than he possibly could have ever imagined, and he felt...Calm. He felt perfect. Whole again. He wasn't even afraid of what Touya might do. Not now.)
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Touya squirms a bit at the added squeeze, whining a little. Rude. Gojo can be such a bully at times.]
I'm not a baby, you frigid dick! [The words lacked any real heat or malice, more a protest to the treatment and still ribbing his twin back. He frowns as Gojo continues to explain what kind of kicks he gets out of bothering other guys, eyes studying his face like there's another answer sitting there.] Gee, don't see how anyone could be annoyed by you. Wouldn't you flirting with them count as annoying them?
[Whether they run off or stand their ground, either one is going to leave them with Gojo stuck in their mind, from shock or anger. Touya's obviously never tried it, so he's kind of curious. His twin's always been a bit more outgoing than him around other people when they were younger, nowadays far more so.
Kind of hard to run off when you've got this guy sitting on your damn lap. Besides, Touya never runs away! He wasn't raised to back down or give up. All the kids inherited Endeavor's stubbornness, though some were more tempered with Rei's patience than others. At least he's not trying to throw Gojo off him as the other boy gets settled atop him like that, caging his head in with his arms and leaning down low. Somewhere in his mind, he can see how this would read, his brother on top of him, face so close it's almost as if he's going to touch his mouth with his. That's... that's "wrong", right? Or does he even care?]
Well yeah. [Touya retorts with a "duh" emphasis on the second word. How did Gojo think he wasn't? Touya got along with him the most, even if he was close to Natsuo as well. Seeing the warmth in his brother's eyes is kind of strange, so used to the cold gaze instead. But it's nice to see. Nice to know his twin isn't completely an ice statue, still human despite his power and attitude.]
Good. Cause... you're the one I feel like I can talk to most. [Even if a lot of that talking was bemoaning his existence, expressing his rage and frustrations, asking about being born and being replaced. Trying Natsuo and probably even Gojo's patience a few times. And yet, he still clings to his twin, relying on him for support and validation he doesn't get anywhere else. The smile above him is a quiet reward for all of that.] Heh, lowlife asshole. Don't got any of those clamoring at me.
[At least none he's paid any attention to. Listening to Gojo's speech about him reaffirms a few things. About both of them. Th only person in the world worth anything... Well, he knew he was going to be the best; that was the goal of his life, right? What it should've been. Should still be.] I'm going to be better than all of them. And I'll prove it.
[No matter what it tak- oh. Gojo just kissed him. Touya's eyes widen at the feeling, at the sheer action of his brother kissing him like that. Cool lips against his warm ones. It's strange, a little weird, but not unpleasant. And the longer it lasts, the better it feels, until Touya presses into the kiss and returns it with a small, experimental noise.]
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After all, figuring out to beat one person's quirk was hard enough, but a matching set? Gojo liked to try and make combined attacks with Touya, but it was always a pain to get there. People just didn't do that.)
Some people are extremely charmed by my flirting! I'm really cute, after all. (Seeee? He pokes his own cheek as if it proved his point. Which, to be fair, it kind of did.
This was the part of Gojo that had been impacted by his own family without any of them realizing it. That intense social isolation their father had put them through, that brainwashing conviction that the Todoroki clan was of the finest grade out there. As much as Gojo liked to think it didn't have any impact on him, it had. He had been directed by his father in a way his father likely never anticipated. Everything had always been about their family from the very beginning. Some of Gojo's earliest memories had been of his father telling him how important Touya was.
"Your brother is the most special person in this world, okay?" Looking back on it now, he realized it had just been Endeavor's way of holding great expectations over Touya, but he had wanted the entire family to support that expectation. Gojo didn't get the same love purely because of his white hair and icy powers. He was content to be in his brother's shadow.
He started to believe that his brother was the center of their universe too, even after it had been clear that he didn't have what his father was looking for in a son. By then, Gojo had already made up his own mind that Touya really was the perfect guy. Some twisted part of Gojo had convinced himself a long time ago that his father would even praise a union between them. Keep it in the family. What better way to show dedication than by falling in love with his own twin brother? Right? Was it so wrong? Wasn't that what his father had wanted anyway?
No, probably not, and Gojo had gotten to the age where he had realized that. Especially with how his father had begun to look at him. It made Gojo want to act cruder around his brother, it made him want to rebel, and made something open up inside of him. He wanted to show Endeavor what he had done, but more than that, he just wanted what he wanted.
His brother even agreed with him, didn't he? Thinking no one deserved Gojo, thinking that those other lousy guys weren't worth his time, that Touya would always be the best man in his life. He was right. From Gojo's perspective...He was just agreeing with his family. Besides, it's not like Touya and him could have kids. That's where stuff got messy, wasn't it? They could do whatever they wanted and there wouldn't be physiological consequences. He saw it as lucky, as godsent maybe.
So, when his brother actually kisses back, even just a little, with that small noise, something blooms inside of Gojo. A definitive feeling of being right all along, of finding some sense of inner peace. He would die for his brother in a heartbeat. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. He'd let his brother use him any way he needed to to get where he wanted.
Ahh. He opens his mouth against Touya's and slips his tongue against Touya's mouth, wanting to make sure his brother knew this wasn't an innocent peck. That this was something mature and intense. He didn't know how to kiss, but he knew tongue was for the serious stuff. He breaks the kiss a moment later, pulling up so that he could see his brother's face.
He blinks in surprise. Suspended in the air all around them were perfect snowflakes frozen in air. He looks away from Touya, his breath appearing in a puff of clouds. A small bubble of ice had appeared around them, beautifully crystalized, as if some part of Gojo knew this moment should be hidden from the world. Gojo sits up entirely then and smiles.)
Wow...I didn't even know I could do this. (He opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out to touch one of the snowflakes. It melts on the tip of his tongue and he looks down at Touya. He was radiating from the kiss, and now, from the manifestation of a new move.)
I should have kissed you sooner.
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He'd be lying if he said it wasn't fun to create tag-team attacks with Gojo. Touya had a good number of fond memories with those training sessions, all the way from steam clouds to flaming ice.]
Does it make you cute when you tell people that? [Touya grins up at him, reaching to push at one of Gojo's hands to get it off his cheek. Bastard's making his own dimples. That's cheating.
It's true he didn't think those other guys were worth Gojo's time and attention. Despite Touya's focus on his training and ever-growing power, he wasn't blind to his twin brother's actions and attitude. How he'd changed from the young boy he grew up with in his childhood to this teenager. With the rebellion, the coldness, and yet the same passion that gave him his own freedom. It was flattering that Gojo directed so much of his own attention towards Touya, likely not helping the other boy's pride. But it was too addicting to have someone acknowledge him as the best thing in his life. After his father abandoned him, replaced him. Touya didn't think it was "using" Gojo to accept that from him; Gojo loved being close to him after all, right? (Yeah, not gonna have a baby with you, bro.)
But all of that comes to a burning forefront when Gojo kisses him, prompting many of those untended affections and attentions to come rushing to the surface. The coolness of his lips, the softness of his skin, combined with that swell of wanting to be here with him. Of being happy to have him close and indulge in those feelings Touya knows are only for him.
He tenses when the kiss suddenly gets a lot wetter, only a second later realizing it's Gojo's tongue. Oh. That's... um... is that how people do it? He's never seen his parents kiss, so... After a few seconds, he opens his mouth hesitantly. And then gulps when Gojo's tongue takes a quick sweep inside. Just one, short in and out, but it still leaves Touya a little squirmy when his brother breaks the kiss. He's left making a face, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth.] You put your tongue in my mouth...
[He doesn't sound disgusted? Mostly weirded out, trying to decide if he liked the sensation or if it was too strange. But that fades away when he glances around and notices the change in the air. Snowflakes. Floating around them. Leaving his breath a white cloud at the protective shield made around them. The privacy and intimacy it creates, as well as acknowledge this is between them and only them... it's surprisingly touching and Touya sits up as well when Gojo does.]
It's pretty, Gojo. [Touya forgets the weirdness of tongue in his mouth as he mimics his twin and licks one of the snowflakes in the air. It melts, easily, and he grins at the sensation, that bite of cold and the little spread of water. Of course he can see the tactical side of it, but figures talking battle strategies over this isn't what Gojo would want.] It probably wouldn't have made this... but if you wanna kiss me again and see if it makes another one, you can!
[Okay so he's kind of excited about it now.]
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(He had enough ego to think that there were few things in life that made him less cute. More than anything though, he cared what Touya thought. It was easy to have unstoppable arrogance when the rest of the world didn't matter. He just wanted Touya's attention, his approval. Was he really so different from his brother after all? Touya was desperate for their father's attention and approval, so was Gojo that far from the tree? There must be a recessive gene in the Todoroki pool that made them all kind of desperate that way.
But it had paid off in Gojo's case. Or at least partially. He's unsure if Touya is kissing him back because he actually wanted to, or if because Gojo was kind of forcing him into this corner. Then again, would Touya really allow himself to be forced into anything he didn't actually want? Hm.
It would be easier if this was just a physical thing. If he had a passing desire for his brother. No less weird, but at least it could be dealt with after some awkward rolling around and mindless pawing. But there's something more. He loved him, loved him hard and deep in the kind of way that would make him follow after Touya indefinitely.
He snorts at his brother's surprise of the tongue, brows raising.)
You really are a total virgin, aren't you? That's how you kiss when you really want someone, Touya. (He says this with a grin, but there's a lifted tone to his voice to suggest that Touya was naive for not knowing this already.) Are you really so consumed with fighting that you don't know how to want someone like that? Jeez...
(But he's glad, in a way. It meant that Touya hadn't been paying attention to others at least.
That's all after the fact though. Touya thinks his snowglobe and the flakes within it are pretty and that makes Gojo feel warmer than even the kiss had. He smiles at his brother. That amusement from earlier flickers out and is replaced with easy, simple love as he watches Touya take one of the snowflakes onto his tongue.)
I really love you, Touya. I mean it. I do...(His voice waivers and then Touya is asking for another kiss. He pushes himself to his feet and offers both of his hands to his brothers.)
You kiss me this time. Just grab me and kiss me like in the movies! (It was partly fantasy he wanted to live up, but there was actually some logic too. He's pretty sure it had to do with the fluttering excitement he had felt, and being grabbed and kissed suddenly by his brother would no doubt replicate a similar feeling. He could be tactical too.)
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nah, he was doing it because he wanted to. gojo should know he could never force touya into doing something he didn't want to do. he had the same stubbornness endeavor passed onto all his kids. refusing to quit despite everything in the world being against that path. kissing gojo back was because the initial one... felt really good.
the snort gets a pout and touya's lips purse at the response.] So? [snappy snappy at him, fluffing defensively under his brother's weight.] I've been focusing on other things! [not making out with people or practicing his kissing with whatever gojo practiced on.] When you really want someone... Wha- no! I know how to want someone! I just... haven't wanted someone like that before.
[because yes, consumed with fighting. so he didn't have time for distractions like that. but with gojo, the two kind of go hand in hand. attraction and training, they can do both, right? as he plays with the snowflakes around them, he finds the pressure on him and the coolness on his tongue, as well as the memories of gojo's mouth, a mixture of relaxing and warming. touya's attention drops to his twin again with that confession.]
Like... um... go on a date love? [he has no idea. but when he request for another kiss is denied, he stubbornly chases after it and stands up, only taking ONE hand cause he can stand on his own, thank you, hmph!] Bleh. I hate those kind of movies. [mushy stuff. but he still grabs his brother by the lapels of his jacket and pulls him in, lifting up on his toes (just a little!) and pressing his mouth against gojo's in a warm, albeit unpracticed kiss. trying to replicate what his brother did. without the tongue. for now.]
sorry bout the delay!
Or at the very least, even if Touya didn't return his feelings, he certainly wasn't rejecting him from his life entirely either.)
I suppose that's a good thing. I'd be so jealous if you were.
(Insufferably jealous. Even if he is marginally offended that his brother never wanted him back like that. One more thing to change, but Gojo felt like he could handle it no problem.)
Then I can be your first. (He leans towards his brother, grinning wider.) And your only.
(If he knew what was good for him anyway. Yeah, Gojo really, really did not have the hero-type personality going for him. Gojo gives his brother a flat look before he rolls his eyes.)
Yes, Touya-chan. I just kissed you, didn't I? That's what people do when they like each other like that.
(Okay, so, he knew some people didn't kiss for romance. They didn't need to delve into the specifics. Plus...! He's back to grinning when Touya gets up. He looks like he may as well have won all the money in the world when Touya grabs his jacket, when he pulls him, yanks him into a kiss like it was something Touya wanted just as badly.
There was a crossed line just then. Even though Gojo had just confessed, had kissed, there had still been some part of his mind that had been half-baked with airy romantic thoughts. But being kissed felt different than being the one to initiate. His eyes remain open, but only for a moment. He realizes dimly that he would have wanted this with Touya even if Touya wasn't his brother. He realized that his crush wasn't just one of familial resentment and dependency. It wasn't just the product of a bizarre upbringing.
It was earnest. He actually just liked Touya. Standing on his toes, he holds Touya's wrists delicately. Then he sinks against Touya, moving his hands instead to wrap around Touya's neck. Around them, the ice globe became thicker and thicker until it was a dense wall of ice. Ice began to appear in intricate patterns, growing inward the longer the kiss went until it was fused perfectly around them. The air had dropped drastically in temperature, to freezing degrees. It was just them. Nothing could be heard from the outside.
It was so relaxing. He breaks the kiss, gazing at Touya in quiet wonder.)
I think...(He hesitates, tipping his head back to stare up at the spectacle around them. Snowflakes were still occasionally floating down. He raised a hand and he realizes he can feel the moisture in the air.)
This is happening because I'm feeling protective of you. Of this.
S'all good. RL happens.
Don't be jealous. No one's really caught my eye or anything. [he hadn't been interested in dating or other people, disdaining their fellow students at school and really only being close with gojo and natsuo. it's a new line of thought right now, looking at his twin in this kind of light.]
My first? [touya blinks as gojo leans closer to him, wondering if gojo was proposing to him or making some kind of claim. it sounds weird, but at the same time, sounds good. to have his focus like that would keep gojo with him and touya didn't want to lose his brother either.] Uh... okay?
Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me! And don't call me "chan" either. [pouting at him again. always hates it when gojo does that to him. he grumps further at the reminder.] I know. [people kiss when they like each other. whether that's love or lust or whatever. he's not stupid. simply hasn't put any focus on that area. but he has enough knowledge to be able to respond to that challenge and kiss his brother back!
he gives his wrists a small tug, wanting to see if he can pull them out of his brother's hands. even if he's standing on his toes with his hands in his brother's jacket, he's not his captive. well, kind of is, since he's currently pretty captivated by him. success! gets his hands out of his wrist. only to find those hands going around his neck instead, cupping him and letting his throat feel the soft skin of gojo's palms. but unfortunately for his twin... touya's distracted from the kiss the moment he notices the ice dome around them growing patterns and designs. so yeah, his eyes are roving around when the kiss breaks, admiring the patterns in the ice and how the dome's all grown shut around them.]
This is so cool... [touya breathes that out in a low murmur of amazement. takes a second for him to factor what gojo just said.] Protect me? [he looks at his brother, both touched and confused.] You know I'm strong, Gojo. [even if he understands his brother's probably talking about the moment and his feelings rather than him personally.] But... I like this. That you wanna protect me.
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Let me know if someone does. (Then he can be insufferable about it with them. He thankfully wasn't too worried about that. The good thing about Touya was his hyperfocus on other shit.
He was definitely making a claim.)
Okay, Touya-kun. (He really drags out the 'kun.' He has to resist the urge to roll his eyes again out of spite, but he behaves for the sake of a kiss. He leans back to look at his own work. Touya isn't wrong. It was cool. He reaches out to touch some of it, humming.)
Sure, you're strong, but there are more things to protect you from than just a fight. (He wasn't an idiot. He knew why his power was manifesting this exact way.) I don't actually want to get you in trouble.
(He snorts, finally stepping away from his brother, suddenly almost shy because of the admittance.)
Obviously, I want to do that. You're my brother. (He reaches out his hand over his own ice, trying to see if he could melt it down, but he really had no heat in him.)
...You're probably going to have to melt this though.
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but that didn't mean he couldn't be distracted or take breaks from time to time.]
Uh-huh. [kinda distracted right now, thankfully. from his twin making a claim on him to the dome of ice showing a bunch of marvelous designs and growths. to think gojo's power could expand this much due to his emotions. guess they really were cut from that same cloth.] Don't make me call you Gojo-jii-san.
[probably because a lot of the other "cuter" suffixes he could use to tease gojo would just make the guy pleased as heck. the kiss still lingers on his lips and touya's trying to resist the urge to reach up and touch his mouth, as if to confirm what just happened was really and truly reality.]
I'm not gonna get in trouble... [even though he knew what gojo was talking about and kind of annoyed because they'd have to hide it from everyone. social norms and taboos exist and even touya knew this kind of thing wasn't acceptable. which... kind of made it exciting as well? sneaking around, doing something just between the two of them.]
I don't wanna melt it. Not right now at least. [touya steps up beside his brother instead, looking around the ice and reaching out to touch it as well. the designs, he can feel them under his fingertips as he wanders around the dome, enjoying the power and detail his twin put into the work. even if subconsciously.] Neh, Gojo... You still think I'm worth something... right? I'm not a mistake...
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(Muttered lowly because he knew his brother was barely listening. He's fondly exasperated though. It was hard to be that annoyed when his brother was looking around him like the world had been coated in gold.)
Ew...You won't call me that. That's such an annoying mouthful!
(Touya is 100% correct. Gojo was annoying by birthright and that meant it was hard to annoy him. Gojo was thinking about the kiss too, watching his brother rather than watching the ice around him. Now that they had done it, it made everything feel a hell of a lot more real. Confirmed everything. He somehow felt older because of it too.
Was that what kissing did to people? Or was it only because he knew that what he just did wasn't so simple? Because yeah. He knew they would be sneaking around too. At least if Touya wanted to kiss him again and Gojo wondered if he would want that again. On his own terms, anyway, or if he would wait for Gojo to corner him.)
Yeah, if you don't get caught.
(Otherwise...
He's content to just watch his brother admire his work. He would never admit it out loud, mostly because he preferred feigning complete indifference to this stuff, but he found himself deeply pleased by his brother's approval of his work. That Touya was admiring an extension of Gojo, accidental or otherwise.
He blanches at the question. What the hell kind of...
He frowns, moving forward to snatch one of Touya's hands so he could wrench his brother around to face him. There was a certain fierceness on his face then, an unusually serious expression removing any mirth or playfulness to him. This was a side of Gojo that rarely came out too.)
Don't say such stupid stuff about yourself, Touya. (He squeezes his wrist tightly.)
You're perfect. (His eyes get a strange gleam to them and the grip on Touya became chilled.)
And you're worth more than what our father deserves. (Finally, seeming to realize what he was doing, Gojo lets go of Touya's wrist and forces himself to calm down.)
To me, you're worth everything.
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I can if you do! [touya grins at him over his shoulder. it's no different than gojo continuing to call him -chan and other names! but he obviously wouldn't be doing it out of meanness, cause he loves his brother. even though he's still worrying his lips with his fingers as if to test the reality of that kiss, it doesn't seem to bother him so much as adds to the amazement he's feeling while wandering about the dome.
yeah, there are some thoughts skirting through his mind. it'd felt good, obviously, and he knew it both made gojo happy and despite his own confusion over it, couldn't deny it made touya happy too. if they wanted to do it again, however, they'd have to be sneakier about it. lucky for them, they still got to take baths together and sleep in the same room if they wanted. just couldn't let it be known they were staying up late or one of the servants might scold them. it's not healthy to run on so little sleep, you know.]
I'm not gonna get caught. [well, he says that, but touya's been caught several times while sneaking out for some training. most of the time he ignores his mother or his siblings and goes out anyways, cause none of them were actually going to stop him. endeavor's rage when he found out is always uncomfortable, but touya's become accustomed to it and has stopped caring much.
but the question... it comes from a deeper feeling inside him, part of the issues he's been dealing with ever since his father rejected him. gojo knows full well the struggles his twin's going through, even if touya holds that no one could really understand. mostly because natsuo and gojo don't have that aspiration to become a hero. never had that ambition placed within them. so they don't know what it's like to be... replaced.
touya pauses when he's caught by the hand, looking at gojo with a quiet gaze. even being pulled that hard doesn't faze him much. seeing his twin's angered expression is met with a calmness that seems almost detached. but the glaze of cold over his wrist and that tight grip on his joint at least shakes him back enough he's focused on gojo's response.
it brings a smile to his face, sincere, a little sad, but mostly happy in a gentle sort of way. to get to hear what he really wants to hear. touya ducks his head in a nod.]
I'm really... I'm really happy you feel that way, Gojo. [and leans in to pull his twin in for a big hug, squeezing him tightly because he needs the comfort and support. a lot.] You're gonna be really cool when you grow up.
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(He sticks his tongue out at his brother and just wags it absently around for a few seconds, rolling his eyes. Gojo really needed to get over the habit of making such obnoxious faces, but like with most things, he'll never grow out of it. It's as close to agreeing to behave as Touya was going to get.
The tongue goes back in and he watches his brother touching his own lips and a small smile tug at his own. Touya was thinking about it then. Good. Like Touya, Gojo could see some excitement in sneaking around. How fun it would be to play footsie with his brother under the table during dinner - granted, he has done that before, but now he could be even more of a little shit. Poke his foot onto Touya's lap or something.
The possibilities were endless and he was dizzy just thinking about it. He was going to be absolutely merciless.)
Uh-huh. Better not or else it'll be a real pain for both of us.
(It's true that Gojo didn't understand. But they all had issues the others couldn't understand. Gojo had his own anxiety of being replaced in his brother's life one way or another - no matter how irrational it may be.
That smile...
Something pinches in Gojo's chest and he steps closer to Touya. It made him hate his father to think that Endeavor had made it so Touya could doubt himself like this. Then Touya is pulling him into a hug and Gojo clutches him just as tightly. He cups a hand against the back of Touya's head and holds him, feeling a viciousness rise within him. His expression was alarmingly chilled, blank.
He knew what kind of things he would do for the sake of his brother. He knew some of that would maybe scare Touya. It's how Gojo knew he would never cut it as a hero. Touya guided him in every way and without Touya, Gojo himself was as frigid and distant as the ice around them. He cared very little for those who he saw as weak and that happened to be literally everyone who wasn't Touya. Civilians disinterested him, other heroes bored him, and villains didn't intrigue him or drive him to fury.
What he cared about was changing how the world worked. This system wasn't cutting it and he saw that every day in his brother. He was a product of elitism.)
I love you so much, Touya. (Said again, but this time, there's a soft maturity in his tone.) You're all that matters. I don't want you to ever doubt yourself again.
(They were the strongest. He smiles.)
I'm already cool now. Literally and socially. (Heh, get it? Ice. He tugs back to look at Touya and proceeds to kiss him again. It's a simple kiss, a press of the lips, lingering, and then he breaks it. It felt good to be able to kiss Touya like this. He holds his brother's face between his palms, gazing at him intently.)
Just burn everything down that won't let you matter. What you don't burn, I'll destroy for you. I'd destroy dad if you let me.
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well, maybe not act out all flirty with other boys now that they're looking at doing stuff together. wha- no! they're not gonna play footsies under the table! mostly because they'd get in trouble for ending up kicking each other under the dinner table and endeavor would yell at them and it'd just mess everything up again. he... he doesn't wanna make life harder on fuyumi and natsuo than he already does. gonna trap that stupid foot under his legs or something if it comes down to it.]
I'm not gonna. Relax. [and there are things he does so as to not make life harder on gojo either. even if his twin has his own issues with endeavor and their mom, touya doesn't want to drive one of his remaining anchors of comfort away. he needs gojo's support and comfort as well.
touya turns from the ice when gojo steps over to him. he watches him silently, the smile still there, even if it's there out of relief at his brother's kindness helping to cover over the pain and suffering he's enduring inside. holding him close helps just as much and he rests his face against his twin's shoulder, taking comfort in the coolness of his body and the physical caring those strong arms around his shoulders and torso bring him.
that promise of love is comforting and he rests in gojo's embrace, head turning so he could press his cheek to the other boy's chest, eyes wandering beside them to look at the ice dome shielding them from the rest of the world. he knows gojo has his own issues with the world, his own disinterests and a quiet, semi-hidden darker side that rebels and dislikes just as intensely as touya strives to be the hero endeavor once wanted him to be. like the darkness found the deeper you looked into a glacier. white ice on the outside, deepening to that beautiful blue, before fading into a blackness within.]
I know... and I'm gonna show you, and him, that I can do this. That I'm strong enough to become the number one.
[he leans back when gojo pulls him and looks up at him. just in time for him to kiss him. which touya returns. long enough to enjoy the linger and a tiny wisp of steamy mist to curl between them as their lips separate. but the words he gives him, however, earn a frown from the eldest todoroki, eyes pouting a little.]
Don't talk like that, Gojo. You're not some villain. I don't wanna destroy everything either. [he even had to admit that his attempt to attack shouto had been wrong. it wasn't his little brother's fault he was born. and he doesn't want to destroy endeavor either. how would he recognize touya if he was dead? how would he realize his son wasn't a mistake if he was destroyed? the dead won't admit they were wrong.] I wanna be a hero. It's okay if you don't, but... don't think like a stupid villain. I don't wanna end up fighting you. So... so don't go down that route.
[touya's expression quiets, taking a rare time where he's stepping up as the eldest sibling, even over his twin.]
You're a good person, even if you're cold, okay?
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He certainly didn't plan on flirting with other boys anymore. Even if they didn't say anything in terms of exclusivity, he felt like it was pretty obvious what the situation here was. You didn't just kiss your brother and then move on to something else, something less.)
Yeah, all right. (He trusts Touya more than anyone else in life, after all. And he knew Touya would wind up more impacted than he ever would be.
Did there even have to be a number one? Sometimes he wondered what his brother would do if Gojo trained just as hard and also wanted to be the number one hero? Could that rank even be shared? If it could, would Touya share it with him? It's a question he has always wondered. Wondering how lucky it was that Gojo didn't actually care. Would it have put a divide between them? He doesn't ask. He never asks. It was a hypothetical and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer, knowing how Touya had felt towards Shoto.
He stares at Touya, unblinking.)
I think villain is a really arbitrary word sometimes. (Did he actually sound like a villain or was it just because he didn't sound enough like a hero? Granted, he agreed that Touya attacking their kid brother wasn't great. Even Gojo had felt for the kid, but that's when he had started to worry the most about Touya. It was like he spent every day holding his arms out and waiting for the inevitable collapse.
His eyes narrow slightly and he tips his head, considering his brother's words.)
So, what, would you go against me if I were a villain?
(There's some hurt in his tone, but mostly, he's curious.
Good person. What did that even mean? Gojo's eyes flicker dimly and he pulls away from Touya. He knew good people wouldn't want to destroy their father, he knew good people didn't fall in love with their brothers, he knew good people wouldn't do the things he would be willing to do for Touya. He knew he wasn't a good person, but having Touya have faith in him like that...)
Do you want me to be a good person?
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as for what touya would do if gojo actively tried to become the number one as well? that's an easy answer: he would keep training and strive to become even stronger than even his twin! to become the strongest. that's what endeavor promised he'd become. and even if his father abandoned him, touya knows he has to earn his attention back. if only he could become strong enough, driven enough, then he'd be able to show endeavor he was worth his attention again. that he could become the hero his father had told him he'd be. that he could achieve endeavor's mighty ambitions. even if it meant taking on his own brother in the race, touya would strive for it.
and truth be told, if the number one spot could be shared, if he and gojo ranked even, of course he'd share it with him! how proud would endeavor be if both his sons stood at the top! he'd be the proudest dad in the world, knowing his dream not only came true once, but twice. of course he'd be proud of them. and touya would be so damn happy, standing beside gojo in that place. might even cry. because sharing the spot with someone is far different than being displaced from it...]
You know what I mean. Someone who wants to destroy everything is a big bad villain. [touya frowns at his twin. yes he sounded like a villain! or even worse, like he was encouraging touya to become one, telling him to destroy everything that didn't say he mattered. that's a horrible, selfish way of looking at things, gojo!] Would you think someone who tried to destroy me because I didn't matter to them wasn't a villain?
[touya crosses his arms, halfway between a petulant pout and a serious focus.]
Yeah. I would. Because I'm your brother, and I'll knock some sense back into your head if I have to. That's what brothers do. They protect and support each other...
[even though it hurts to say those words, because he knows he's harbored some really nasty thoughts towards shouto, and touya's even been hurt by natsuo telling him to go talk to fuyumi sometimes when he came complaining about his existence to his little brother. gojo's been a major support in his life, so of course touya would fight him if his twin became a villain!]
I'd fight you to get you back, Gojo.
[sure, the idea of a "good person" is kind of vague, and touya's not blind to the reality that even "good people" have their own vices and problems. he doesn't think gojo's feelings towards him make him out not to be a good person. because he knows his brother would still protect people who are important to him in the end. the question makes him stare at his brother, surprised by it, then give him a confused, wondering look.]
You are a good person, Gojo. I... I want you to be happy. That's what I want.