burnitblack | Deer Country In-Box

I didn't.

[he simply hadn't wanted to see or talk to anyone for a day or so after he got back, both to nurse the uncomfortable burden of returning from the dead and to deal with his injured pride over how he ended up washing ashore.

neither of which put him in the mood to deal with anyone wanting to speak with him, already guessing the main types of conversations he'd have with the different people who'd contact him.]

So ya can stop chokin up.

[ This time.

That was the thing about death here. It wasn't always a guarantee. And there was a possibility of bringing back a stranger. Someone whose memories were wiped to the moment they had left the place they were taken from. As it stood, Shouto knew that this Touya wasn't the same one who he'd gotten to know for months now. Not physically. He'd been remade. Reborn.

You died... and I won't ever see that you again.

The source of his turmoil stemmed from that simple fact. ]

You don't get to tell me that.

[ How to feel. When you're the one who left! ]

[while he knows it's not always a guarantee, if a sleeper doesn't return from death, that'd mean they went back home, where they belonged. should be a good thing, not being imprisoned here to keep suffering. though he can't argue the reality this place might bring back another "version" of him from another point in time if he didn't return.

but he won't agree with shouto's paranoid thoughts about him not being "him" anymore. just because he died and came back, doesn't mean he's not the same person he was before his death. well, ignoring the fact he's pretty fucked up right now, still recovering. gonna be another day or two before he feels well enough to go outside.

touya's still touya. whine at him about being different if he comes back without his memories or something.]

Just did.

[what are ya gonna do about it?]

[ Absolutely nothing. There's nothing to do. Nothing that he'd care to pursue anyway. ]

Where are you?

[the why make a big fuss over nothing? you'd think family was important or something.]

One of my places.

[ That doesn't mean it's NOTHING to him!

What he cares about has never mattered until he made it matter. But he also knows when to pick and choose his fights, and right now, he rather fill his heart with the knowledge that he's alive. ]

Can I see you?

[yeah yeah. he's alive. that's the main point. stop fretting over something that's in the past. (says the guy who exists only for the past and how it'll affect the present and future.)

sigh. who didn't see that question coming.]

Fine.

[and with that, he switches over to a video. lounging on a large black couch that's probably seen better days. though there's been some obvious word done on it, stitching, patches, and even staples to do some surface level repairs.

dabi rolls his head to the side, looking at the omni.]

Happier?

[ No, and yes. His feelings are far more complicated than he knows how to address, so he goes with what he feels at the comment, which is something warm akin to what he feels when he looks at Kizu. As it stands, Shouto is in a black turtleneck with dark bags under his eyes though his eyes look more animated, if a little red, than the start of the conversation. ]

How are you feeling?

[touya takes note of his little brother's appearance at a glance. bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, a bit red around the sclera thanks to stress or tears, ironic the guy who showed so little emotion at first would end up getting so worked up over something like emotions.

they really are a problematic burden.]

Better. First day was pretty rough.

[ It was never that he didn't feel anything - Shouto always felt a lot. The issue lay in showing it. All his life, he was yelled at for what he felt. Shut-up, Shouto! It's no wonder he learned to feel nothing. To express nothing. It was one more thing Endeavor ingrained into him made easier by the use of his mother's quirk until he didn't need it anymore in order not to feel.

He isn't numb now. Stepped off that path some time ago. Tried to express himself more. He's still not good at it when it comes to everyday interactions, but this isn't normal. His feelings were impossible to subdue without the cold, and he made a promise to stop reaching for it.

His jaw tightens at the implications that lie just under the surface of his words. How bad was it the first day? A question written in the worried look in his eyes. Still, he doesn't ask. Not right now. There's something else that's more important. ]

Do you need anything?

[life's a lot easier when you don't feel anything. touya was granted relief from all that crap once everything burned up inside him. "feelings" aren't a thing for him. it's so much freer without them. and yet there's shouto, trying to continue to feel despite all that frozen ice around him. it'd be admirable if it weren't pathetic.

noticing the question in his eyes, touya opts not to answer it. talking to shouto about his return illness wouldn't do anything but upset the guy further. sides, he's not hovering over the toilet now, so it's fine.

there's the spoken question he knew was coming.]

Nah. I got my shit back.

[ The announcement draws on something other than sorrow, and mismatched eyes gain a semblance of light. ]

Did you lose something?

Nothin I'm aware of. Lost my clothes and gear, everything I had on me, but I found 'em again later.

[could be sarcastic and say he lost his life, but you know...]

[ That makes sense. For a moment, he thought it was something else. There was always a death price to pay after they washed ashore. He doesn't know what Touya's is and it's something he won't ask about. Not when there's something more important. ]

What happened with you and Bakugou?

[If the price meant 24 hrs of feeling like shit, puking his guts out, and having to find his clothes and crap from a bunch of marketplace people, then guess that's a price.

But complete immolation + combustion isn't gonna leave much left to go on. If there's another price, he's unaware of it for now.]

He tried to kill me and failed. I killed him and succeeded.

[And failed, since Bakugou killed him too.]

[ The words said so plainly have his quirk swinging left so quickly it has his eyes glittering with dismay. ]

Bakugou... wouldn't do that. [ He manages to parse out through a restricted throat. ] Was he cursed?

[ Under the influence of something? Shouto didn't believe that he'd turn to killing out of the blue. ]

[touya doesn't seem at all bothered by the words or memories. internally he's irked, but it's assuaged by the spiteful pride that it at least ended in a draw.]

Probably. [he's not stupid enough to think the explosive blonde would ever willingly try to murder someone no matter how much he screams the threat.] Doesn't change the fact he did.

[does that mean touya willingly tried to murder bakugou of his own volition after the fact? yep.]

[ Shouto will be having a very interesting conversation with Bakugou soon after this that will have immense consequences for the brothers going forward. But for now, Shouto is blissfully unaware. ]

Even if the outcome is the same, intent matters.

[good for him. dabi hasn't bothered talking to the guy after what happened and isn't planning on doing so. there's nothing that needs to be talked about. it's not gonna bother him at all.]

And ya point is?

Trench isn't like back in our world. Here, we don't have a choice sometimes.

Ya think we had a choice all the time back home?

[ There's a pause in his reply. His expression shifting into one of subtle observation. ]

Not all the time.

It's the same here.

[one could argue they didn't have a choice. one could argue you always had a choice.]

[ Another pause. This time longer than the last, yet eerily his expression never changes. ]

Did you have a choice when you hurt Bakugou?

[take long enough and touya's gonna roll over and grab a nap.]

Yep. It was an easy one.

yeah they were both gone for 2.5 days and washed ashore together. insult to injury.

There is no insult...

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