[ itadori's breath felt stuck in his throat, too shallow. there's something about that question that caught him off guard, even when it was a typical conversation to get into after what they've done. he turns his head, staring up at the ceiling as he reflects on their first experience together; every second of it. a casual 'felt great!' is an insult— it was so much more. he just needs to find the right words.
he then shifts slowly, moving to sit up on where he's settled. by now all the warmth in his body is subdued, no longer flustered. itadori is sober enough to assure his words are honest, and not speaking out of emotions. ]
For a moment, I wanted to stop ... because it didn't feel like it was my own experience anymore. I thought I had no right to call it 'mine'. So ... I can't express how much I appreciate it when you reassured me that I'm all you see. It's still just you and me.
[ if the events unfolded differently, they wouldn't be sharing a space right now. it might be a simple reason to trigger such a reaction, but how could he not be heartsick after it? the prospect to be intimate with that man was unplanned for, to be able to take the lead, be in control and hold onto it as his own. something that belonged to him— and for it to be taken away would've been so painful after getting a taste of rare independence. itadori couldn't remember the last time he had a voice, or wasn't told what to do and where to go. while he never complained, nor did he find any wrong in the process— it still had an influence on him. a heavy burden on his shoulders; paralyzing.
dabi gave him everything he subtly craved for. reassurance, a warm body, pleasure, safety— acceptance.
he smiled, leaning forward just a little, and let one hand between them glide down, fingertips brushing dabi's hair away from his forehead. he'll apologize for smudging it in blood later. ]
It was special to me. You made it special to me, and it felt ... amazing.
[ he huffed a chuckle. what? he's allowed to share that side of their time together as well. the emotional aspect is covered, and now he will move on to the physical. which itadori felt more at ease covering this side of his answer. ]
You know, I never thought it could get that good? It was insane! Ah, I wish I had more stamina since I wanted to last longer. But it was impossible! You felt too good! And oh, I might have a thing with using my mouth ... I really enjoyed that part ...
[ a pause- ]
Maybe it wasn't the best for you, since you had your share of different partners. So, I'll help you clean up and attend to your wounds. You're still bleeding ...
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Date: 9/22/21 20:31 (UTC)he then shifts slowly, moving to sit up on where he's settled. by now all the warmth in his body is subdued, no longer flustered. itadori is sober enough to assure his words are honest, and not speaking out of emotions. ]
For a moment, I wanted to stop ... because it didn't feel like it was my own experience anymore. I thought I had no right to call it 'mine'. So ... I can't express how much I appreciate it when you reassured me that I'm all you see. It's still just you and me.
[ if the events unfolded differently, they wouldn't be sharing a space right now. it might be a simple reason to trigger such a reaction, but how could he not be heartsick after it? the prospect to be intimate with that man was unplanned for, to be able to take the lead, be in control and hold onto it as his own. something that belonged to him— and for it to be taken away would've been so painful after getting a taste of rare independence. itadori couldn't remember the last time he had a voice, or wasn't told what to do and where to go. while he never complained, nor did he find any wrong in the process— it still had an influence on him. a heavy burden on his shoulders; paralyzing.
dabi gave him everything he subtly craved for. reassurance, a warm body, pleasure, safety— acceptance.
he smiled, leaning forward just a little, and let one hand between them glide down, fingertips brushing dabi's hair away from his forehead. he'll apologize for smudging it in blood later. ]
It was special to me. You made it special to me, and it felt ... amazing.
[ he huffed a chuckle. what? he's allowed to share that side of their time together as well. the emotional aspect is covered, and now he will move on to the physical. which itadori felt more at ease covering this side of his answer. ]
You know, I never thought it could get that good? It was insane! Ah, I wish I had more stamina since I wanted to last longer. But it was impossible! You felt too good! And oh, I might have a thing with using my mouth ... I really enjoyed that part ...
[ a pause- ]
Maybe it wasn't the best for you, since you had your share of different partners. So, I'll help you clean up and attend to your wounds. You're still bleeding ...