[those memories are still there, but dabi's let them fester and corrupt in his revenge to the point he can no longer remember them as they are. training, disappointment, demands, abandonment, an empty room, the same meal over and over, driving his quirk harder and hotter. greeting his father when he came home turned into preparing for training or trying to squeeze in one more burst before going to meet and report. lounging on the couch with him turned into sitting alone and watching endeavor leading his little brother off the opposite direction down the hall. an embrace blew to ashes in front of a large hand yanking his shirt up and angry words demeaned him for wanting to show the man who meant the most to him something he was so convinced endeavor would be proud to see. over and over. burning his world black. to the point where the question of touching earns a completely serious expression on dabi's face and his voice carries an answer as firmly believed as the sun rising and setting.]
Because I'm the failure ya never wanted to see again.
[much less spend time with or expend any energy to touch. to interact. dabi recalls the brokenness of their family, the separation between himself and his two siblings and their separation between themselves and their littlest brother and father. the distance between himself and his mother, how his sister could never understand him, how his little brother eventually grew tired of him, how his littlest brother replaced him, how his father erased the reason for his own existence. you can't touch a ghost. a few wisps of fire flicker around dabi's fingertips as he stares unblinking at endeavor through hooded eyes. in a way, he survives through the other man. without him, there's no purpose in life.]
Ya know why I won't kill ya right now. Much as I'd love to. I got ten years and more to burn into ya.
[despite the reminder and threat, it's endeavor's comment after that visibly bothers dabi. his eyebrow twitches and the tiny blinks of fire on his fingertips actually flare a bit. normally he'd never show these kinds of emotions in a situation like this. always stoic and controlled, hardly ever getting angry or showing irritation beyond a sarcastic comment or walking away with a flipped bird. but right now, he's raw, more open and willing to show what ticks him off and what he ignores. in a way, it's honest communication with the man he swore he'd never speak to with any of this kind of depth again.]
No shit.
[dabi has no argument against that claim. because it's true. he's attached to endeavor no matter what he does. even said so aloud on the television. anyone can see he lives for revenge against this man and will attack over and over to cause him suffering. even if it means burning down all of japan. touya, and dabi, are products of endeavor's ambitions. for all his denial and rejection, it's true. all three of his siblings have in their own ways managed to find some escape from the shackles to their father and are making their own paths out of their pasts. while dabi remains completely entrenched in that very past and is doggedly determined to grasp those chains and haul each and every one of them back into the filth they crawled out of. Enji, Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shouto. They can all join him in hell.]
Nah, this ain't hell. Though I can think of a lotta other shit I'd rather be doin than hangin out here with you "peacefully" yackin.
[jokes on you, endeavor; dabi learned how to slam a stapler into his own back and those other hard to reach areas. he's done this amazing patchwork stitching job himself. keeps his own flesh on by his own hands. he's not someone who allows other people to get close enough to treat his injuries if he's conscious enough to have a say in the matter.
but his silence after that request denotes another thoughtful period. watching him, judging him, weighing his options. it's not the desire to know what it feels like; dabi's 100% sure endeavor, the flame hero, knows exactly what burn scars fucking feel like. it's the request to acknowledge his own ownership of this shitty body dabi runs that finally punches through.]
That's whatcha want, huh...
[he shoves the chair out behind him as he stands up. one callous shrug and the villain's coat sloughs off his shoulders, metal cuffs dragging his sleeves down his arms and off his hands. they hit the ground with two hard 'thuds' amid the crumpling of leather and fabric. one hand hooks under the hem of his dingy old shirt and with a yank up and tilt of his head, dabi wrenches the shirt off and drops it on the ground, baring his entire upper half to the man in front of him. the scars ripping over his shoulder and neck, carving across the top of his collarbones, tearing the swath of his stomach and wrapping around his sides. while he is crass enough to drop his pants, dabi figures that's really not necessary.
he spreads his arms again in an arrogant "bring it" posture.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yeees food was the best part.
Date: 11/28/21 04:21 (UTC)Because I'm the failure ya never wanted to see again.
[much less spend time with or expend any energy to touch. to interact. dabi recalls the brokenness of their family, the separation between himself and his two siblings and their separation between themselves and their littlest brother and father. the distance between himself and his mother, how his sister could never understand him, how his little brother eventually grew tired of him, how his littlest brother replaced him, how his father erased the reason for his own existence. you can't touch a ghost. a few wisps of fire flicker around dabi's fingertips as he stares unblinking at endeavor through hooded eyes. in a way, he survives through the other man. without him, there's no purpose in life.]
Ya know why I won't kill ya right now. Much as I'd love to. I got ten years and more to burn into ya.
[despite the reminder and threat, it's endeavor's comment after that visibly bothers dabi. his eyebrow twitches and the tiny blinks of fire on his fingertips actually flare a bit. normally he'd never show these kinds of emotions in a situation like this. always stoic and controlled, hardly ever getting angry or showing irritation beyond a sarcastic comment or walking away with a flipped bird. but right now, he's raw, more open and willing to show what ticks him off and what he ignores. in a way, it's honest communication with the man he swore he'd never speak to with any of this kind of depth again.]
No shit.
[dabi has no argument against that claim. because it's true. he's attached to endeavor no matter what he does. even said so aloud on the television. anyone can see he lives for revenge against this man and will attack over and over to cause him suffering. even if it means burning down all of japan. touya, and dabi, are products of endeavor's ambitions. for all his denial and rejection, it's true. all three of his siblings have in their own ways managed to find some escape from the shackles to their father and are making their own paths out of their pasts. while dabi remains completely entrenched in that very past and is doggedly determined to grasp those chains and haul each and every one of them back into the filth they crawled out of. Enji, Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shouto. They can all join him in hell.]
Nah, this ain't hell. Though I can think of a lotta other shit I'd rather be doin than hangin out here with you "peacefully" yackin.
[jokes on you, endeavor; dabi learned how to slam a stapler into his own back and those other hard to reach areas. he's done this amazing patchwork stitching job himself. keeps his own flesh on by his own hands. he's not someone who allows other people to get close enough to treat his injuries if he's conscious enough to have a say in the matter.
but his silence after that request denotes another thoughtful period. watching him, judging him, weighing his options. it's not the desire to know what it feels like; dabi's 100% sure endeavor, the flame hero, knows exactly what burn scars fucking feel like. it's the request to acknowledge his own ownership of this shitty body dabi runs that finally punches through.]
That's whatcha want, huh...
[he shoves the chair out behind him as he stands up. one callous shrug and the villain's coat sloughs off his shoulders, metal cuffs dragging his sleeves down his arms and off his hands. they hit the ground with two hard 'thuds' amid the crumpling of leather and fabric. one hand hooks under the hem of his dingy old shirt and with a yank up and tilt of his head, dabi wrenches the shirt off and drops it on the ground, baring his entire upper half to the man in front of him. the scars ripping over his shoulder and neck, carving across the top of his collarbones, tearing the swath of his stomach and wrapping around his sides. while he is crass enough to drop his pants, dabi figures that's really not necessary.
he spreads his arms again in an arrogant "bring it" posture.]
Then fuckin look.