[those memories are still there, but dabi's let them fester and corrupt in his revenge to the point he can no longer remember them as they are. training, disappointment, demands, abandonment, an empty room, the same meal over and over, driving his quirk harder and hotter. greeting his father when he came home turned into preparing for training or trying to squeeze in one more burst before going to meet and report. lounging on the couch with him turned into sitting alone and watching endeavor leading his little brother off the opposite direction down the hall. an embrace blew to ashes in front of a large hand yanking his shirt up and angry words demeaned him for wanting to show the man who meant the most to him something he was so convinced endeavor would be proud to see. over and over. burning his world black. to the point where the question of touching earns a completely serious expression on dabi's face and his voice carries an answer as firmly believed as the sun rising and setting.]
Because I'm the failure ya never wanted to see again.
[much less spend time with or expend any energy to touch. to interact. dabi recalls the brokenness of their family, the separation between himself and his two siblings and their separation between themselves and their littlest brother and father. the distance between himself and his mother, how his sister could never understand him, how his little brother eventually grew tired of him, how his littlest brother replaced him, how his father erased the reason for his own existence. you can't touch a ghost. a few wisps of fire flicker around dabi's fingertips as he stares unblinking at endeavor through hooded eyes. in a way, he survives through the other man. without him, there's no purpose in life.]
Ya know why I won't kill ya right now. Much as I'd love to. I got ten years and more to burn into ya.
[despite the reminder and threat, it's endeavor's comment after that visibly bothers dabi. his eyebrow twitches and the tiny blinks of fire on his fingertips actually flare a bit. normally he'd never show these kinds of emotions in a situation like this. always stoic and controlled, hardly ever getting angry or showing irritation beyond a sarcastic comment or walking away with a flipped bird. but right now, he's raw, more open and willing to show what ticks him off and what he ignores. in a way, it's honest communication with the man he swore he'd never speak to with any of this kind of depth again.]
No shit.
[dabi has no argument against that claim. because it's true. he's attached to endeavor no matter what he does. even said so aloud on the television. anyone can see he lives for revenge against this man and will attack over and over to cause him suffering. even if it means burning down all of japan. touya, and dabi, are products of endeavor's ambitions. for all his denial and rejection, it's true. all three of his siblings have in their own ways managed to find some escape from the shackles to their father and are making their own paths out of their pasts. while dabi remains completely entrenched in that very past and is doggedly determined to grasp those chains and haul each and every one of them back into the filth they crawled out of. Enji, Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shouto. They can all join him in hell.]
Nah, this ain't hell. Though I can think of a lotta other shit I'd rather be doin than hangin out here with you "peacefully" yackin.
[jokes on you, endeavor; dabi learned how to slam a stapler into his own back and those other hard to reach areas. he's done this amazing patchwork stitching job himself. keeps his own flesh on by his own hands. he's not someone who allows other people to get close enough to treat his injuries if he's conscious enough to have a say in the matter.
but his silence after that request denotes another thoughtful period. watching him, judging him, weighing his options. it's not the desire to know what it feels like; dabi's 100% sure endeavor, the flame hero, knows exactly what burn scars fucking feel like. it's the request to acknowledge his own ownership of this shitty body dabi runs that finally punches through.]
That's whatcha want, huh...
[he shoves the chair out behind him as he stands up. one callous shrug and the villain's coat sloughs off his shoulders, metal cuffs dragging his sleeves down his arms and off his hands. they hit the ground with two hard 'thuds' amid the crumpling of leather and fabric. one hand hooks under the hem of his dingy old shirt and with a yank up and tilt of his head, dabi wrenches the shirt off and drops it on the ground, baring his entire upper half to the man in front of him. the scars ripping over his shoulder and neck, carving across the top of his collarbones, tearing the swath of his stomach and wrapping around his sides. while he is crass enough to drop his pants, dabi figures that's really not necessary.
he spreads his arms again in an arrogant "bring it" posture.]
[There's so much wrong with Dabi's statement. Whatever intel he had on Enji or Endeavor's activities clearly didn't involve how many hours a day he spent after work just sitting in front of the small memorial shrine they'd set up for his eldest. Time he could have spent trying to fix his relationships with the other members of his family. Time lost to lamenting and regretting the life choices that ultimately killed him. Dabi has no idea how much of what he says is bullshit, to the point where it's almost amusing.
Enji does let himself laugh, but it comes out condescending even though he doesn't mean for it to. Dabi will never understand how he feels about him--how it feels to have children. They may hate his guts but he'd die for each of them in the blink of an eye. Even Dabi, hence his presence here tonight.]
Every moment with you is a gift. [His tone hasn't shifted, but the corners of his mouth lift up. Enji is poor with expressing himself so the truthful genuine statement comes off as sarcastic and mocking. He can't help that.]
This isn't peaceful. You look like you're constantly trying to convince yourself not to turn us both to ash just to be done with me. Shouto's had that look before, and Natsuo would have done it already if he had the ability. They hate talking to me too, if that helps. [He knows it doesn't.]
[When Dabi agrees to show him, Enji is a little startled and his expression changes instantly. He honestly thought that Dabi would tell him to fuck off and leave it at that, but the young man shrugs off his coat then does away with his shirt like it was nothing to bare himself in front of his father. Enji looks away too late, he's not sure why, maybe out of respect? It feels strange watching Dabi undress, not at all like watching him do the same when Enji announced they could share a bath decades ago.
It's not even just the sight of all the burns that makes his stomach turn the way the pristine image of his dead Touya would turn in it's imaginary grave at the sight of what Enji is seeing now. He didn't expect to have this reaction although he was aware that those burns continued down over his entire body. Even the parts he's not asking to look at.]
Is all of this from that day? Or did it get this bad slowly over time?
[He barely manages to keep the unsteadiness out of his voice as he walks closer to Dabi, first standing behind him because how can he meet his gaze knowing Dabi thinks his fault this happened. Stubbornly, even if he understands his son's perspective, there's no way he can accept the full responsibility of it when this is exactly the thing he had warned him against.
Enji, with unexpected gentleness, runs backs of his fingers against a patch of skin tentatively before touching with his fingertips along the demarkation of staples separating healthy from damaged skin tissue. It felt fine until he felt what the damaged parts felt like and immediately drew his hand away as he came to stand in front of Dabi instead. It was a wonder he was able to hold the respect of so many people for being "the best" or "the strongest" when the truth was he was really a weak man in so many ways.]
I'm sorry for everything I did to contribute to this--I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it. I apologize.
[He looks Dabi in the eyes for a moment to express his sincerity then down past his neck where there's more burns than skin.]
[he's never once boasted about being sane. he's nuts and he owns it. considering the way he spun that broadcast to suit his own purposes, to say nothing of turning hawks' murder of twice into an empathic accusation against the heroes, dabi's got a knack for taking the truth and being a sicko to it. even if he had known his father sat before his shrine daily, he would've dismissed it as an "obligation" to keep face and never once thought endeavor had any true feelings of remorse. (not to mention spitefully assuming his father would be very put out over wasting time at his failure's shrine when he could be training his beloved weapon.) but for all his obsessive drive about the man, dabi had never once returned to his family estate, never spied on it through a sniper-rifle scope or piloted a drone over top. he refused to look back at the place that pointedly discarded him. there was nothing there for him. the next time he sees his familial home, it'll be in flames.
yeah, he's full of bullshit. maybe endeavor can take some heart in that, knowing he's probably not as bad as dabi would love to make him out to be. after all, no matter what the villain says or what crap endeavor has in his life, the man is still a hero and there are many, many lives who were protected by him.
the condescending laugh doesn't do anything for him but back up his irritation and dabi's expression flattens at the sarcastic platitude. ironically, it sounds exactly like something he'd have said himself if he got the chance to zing endeavor with it.]
Ya got a funny fuckin way of showin that.
[back at you, old man. he's the gift that keeps on giving. mentioning his brothers earns a snarling scoff and dabi flips the hero off. it goes without saying he wants to light them both up right now, but is obviously struggling to curb his violent instincts. so instead he focuses on the other part of that comment.]
Natsuo ain't got the guts to kill ya even if he had the strength to. He'd use it to run away cause he can't stand difficulties.
[endeavor may bear the brunt of dabi's seething rage, but the eldest todoroki offspring has plenty of toxin towards the others in his family. even natsuo, the one touya was closest to, the one he'd cried on his shoulder for so many nights, ultimately burned his bridge to his older brother as well and earned his hatred and derision in exchange.
he would've loved to have been there and seen the looks on the rest of endeavor's family's faces when they saw his little reveal all on the news. what would they look like when he bared himself, showing the ugly scars all over his body, his ruined face and figure, admitting to all the blood on his hands without a shred of remorse... they'd have far more expressive faces than endeavor viewing him now, but dabi knows well enough to read under the older hero's visage. he saw his horror and shock on the battlefield. endeavor's too strong to be affected like that twice. so instead he gets to watch his father take in the sheer expanse of his son's damaged state up close.
dabi scoffs when endeavor looks away.]
Prude.
[shame's for the weak. he had to get over it when he realizes going around wrapped in bandages wasn't feasible. and because showing his ruined features to people elicits the intimidation, fear, and disgust he wants others to feel around him. especially because the "how" question always comes up and he gets to response this is the work of heroes. what a great conversation starter! at least he'll spare his father the grimy details of what he had to do to survive for all those years out on the streets. that pure-faced little boy looking out of the black frame atop the shrine is nothing but a ghost.]
A lot of it's from that day. Now I'm losin real estate when I overuse my Quirk. [he brings his hand in front of his body and gestures to his wrist.] It started here. [and indicates with his finger just below the bend of his joint.] Now it's here. [and touches the seam of staples that now encroaches the heel of his palm and crawls onto the back of his hand. dabi gives a staple on the back of his hand a lazy tap.] Had to redo all of them after the war.
[the combination of the battle against re-destro and his ilk and his close brush to completing his vengeance when the heroes and villains clashed had seen dabi blow past his safety limits without much regard for himself. and he's paid for it with his burn scars stretching into new areas. kind of like those huge deserts in africa, always creeping forward and getting bigger each year.
of course he blames his father for every single moment of his agony. every staple punching through his flesh, every grimace when he has to tug them out, every skin-crawling (semi-literally) sensation when he has to stretch the burnt and healthy flesh to meet each other. all his fault.
this time, dabi doesn't flinch away or snarl at him when endeavor touches his skin. there's a difference between the gentle attempts to rub his head like a father and guilty touching the damage he's inflicted upon him. dabi can deal with the latter. his skin's warm, a bit warmer than "normal" should be simply due to his quirk, but the change in texture between his healthy smooth and scorched wrinkled is telling. it's not a good feeling and dabi snorts in an "thought so" tone when endeavor pulls his hand back.]
Disgustin, huh.
[he looks up to meet the eyes so similar to his own, hating them for staring out at him from the mirror. enji's eyes no matter where he went. now he was in front of him, towering over him like normal, and dabi looks right into those despicable eyes.]
Wow. [an apology. it's almost visible the way he deliberately hardens his heart, throat dipping in a swallow to force every one of his walls into lockdown so those words can't penetrate.] I'm sure ya "sorry" is gonna make all this better.
[giving it a few seconds, he reaches up and nudges the tip of his middle finger between two of the staples rimming the patch of burned flesh under his eye. pushing at and even under the skin.]
Nope. Still fucked up.
[it's one of the reasons he doesn't want to hear it. the hell does he think it's supposed to do? nothing's changed. shouto's still scarred. dabi's a freaking mess. endeavor has his own scar, the rest of the family remains traumatized. "sorry" means absolutely nothing. from any of them.
...murdering endeavor won't make dabi's scars go away either so it's kind of a moot point...]
[Dabi may never believe any version of events that aren't his own, but Enji figures he can live with that too. It's not his job to change his son's mind. He just wants to be around for the ride, whatever that means, and wherever that takes him. Kind of like a reconnaissance mission, except he has no real end goal for what he does with his intel.
Hell, at this point, he's sure Dabi might just be allowing him to stick around out of spite. Death would be too easy an escape, and Enji is sure Dabi just needs time to plan how else he can make his father's life miserable before he allows him to leave (via death or otherwise). Or maybe he won't? Enji has no idea when it comes to Dabi. There's nearly no point in trying to predict someone so unpredictable.]
I see.
[Deliberately not addressing the prude comment, his response to Dabi's current skin to scar tissue ratio is non-committal. He cares, but he knows his son will use it against him if he shows just how much he does. Yet Enji never fails to fall into that trap every time he's given the choice to avoid it. That, and his expression gives everything away when he doesn't have his flames hiding his face. The stapled skin is clearly not a permanent solution, and there's nothing that could fix it at this point. Although..]
Maybe if you stopped using your quirk, you could give your body time to heal.
[Just like a quirk that could send people back in time, one where skin this damaged could just grow itself back would be equally as broken and game changing. Something like that would be desirable for everyone, not just heroes and villains, but it's not as wild as time-travel. Maybe he can try to look into that while they're on their little...whatever this is.
Enji doesn't think Dabi is disgusting, though. His son is in there after all. Amongst the warped memories, partially valid emotions, and senseless delusions, Touya is in there. Somewhere. He's gone from seeing Dabi as a stranger to something else. Not quite family, though he does feel a paternal need to protect him. It's not as though he really needs it, though, or wants it for that matter.
Maybe that's why he holds Dabi's gaze even as he reaches out to grab his wrist. He wasn't going to do that anymore, but he can't just allow himself to watch his son help the very slow deterioration of what's left of him. Enji holds him by the wrist, squeezing in warning as he draws Dabi's wrist aside and away from his face.]
I know my apologies don't fix anything, but figured you'd be happy to know that I do feel like shit knowing I contributed to any of it. Which is why I don't want to see you hurting yourself.
[Enji slowly releases his hold on Dabi's arm, running his hand up along it to eventually rest on his son's shoulder to show that he's not at all disgusted by touching him.]
[believing otherwise only threatens his sanity even further, as well as making his actions a mess of conflicting goals and feelings. can't do that. refuses to do that. he's spit and raged far too long to let something like "truth" drive itself into his psyche. at least, someone else's version of the "truth" he's got fixated in his head. they all have their own versions, don't they.
that's not far from reality. he could've sicced more nomu on endeavor, could've put out a hit on him for snipers and other villains, could've ended him many times over by now. but dabi doesn't want to kill him like that. it'd be over too quick, wouldn't be repayment enough for what he went through, too easy an out. it wasn't like endeavor killed touya in an instant; he suffered for years, watching everything he cared about go up in smoke. turnabout's fair play, isn't it.]
You'll get a live demonstration sooner or later.
[dabi continues scanning the man's face like a predator hunting. despite endeavor's attempt to remain somewhat impassive while scanning over the damage, those emotions still live in his eyes and the barely perceptive twitches of his brow and mouth. he watches him for those reactions, looking for his disgust, his hatred, his disappointment, even some fucking pity. irritates him that he doesn't find any of those and he's left feeling a bit like hanging from a cliff. grasping it, but without anything to stand on. this isn't how their reunion is supposed to go... where's the insults, screaming, and madness?]
Wow, ya moonlightin as a comedian now? Fuckin hilarious. This [and wobbles his hand back and forth to indicate it.] ain't gonna heal. Scars don't heal.
[he's long since past the wounded stage. save for the times he hurts himself again when opening the floodgates of his quirk. according to twice and toga, there was someone in overhaul's gang that could rewind time like that? hell, overhaul himself could likely "repair" the damage to bodies if he so chose to. but unfortunately, the guy doesn't have his arms anymore. too bad.
dabi tenses when that large hand catches him at the wrist. simple touches are one thing, but being caught like that, even telegraphed and gentle, triggers his intent to recoil. still, a brief tug's all he bothers with before relenting and letting the man hold his wrist. the pain's barely even noticeable now when enji squeezes it and his arm moves when drawn away, revealing a flat expression with a cocked brow.]
Ya better feel like shit.
[it sure as hell makes dabi happy knowing that. even if it's a little conflicted right now due to the nature of whatever they're doing. seeing endeavor break down and metaphorically flog himself over what he did to the point of not being operational is one thing. but this controlled and composed regret without giving up while trying to make amends? no, dabi's mind can't process it as a "success" or "satisfaction" compared to what he'd been after. so he grabs at the scraps he can find and gnaws on them irritably instead. later, he'll figure out another way to wreck him later.]
If ya don't wanna see that, then why dontcha convince all your "friends" to stand down and let us mow 'em over without a fight? We won't have to break a sweat.
[sarcasm in full glory. dabi's lips twitch in uncertainty as endeavor palms up the length of his arm. the touch makes his flesh crawl, both because of the physical feeling and the fact his father's deliberately showing he's not disgusted by it. which clashes with his expectations all over again. and does something shitty with his memories and broken emotions.]
[It was worth a shot. He's not sure there's a force on this earth strong enough to keep Dabi from using his quirk to it's fullest potential when Enji had spent much of his son's youth convincing him that he shouldn't, or that he couldn't handle it. Reverse psychology, however unintentional, could be a bitch.]
I don't want to see it.
[The statement is half dismissive, and half warning. It's one of the things he'd rather work up to. He's still not able to separate the man standing half naked in front of him right now from the round faced child in that picture he stares at at night sometimes when he can't sleep. They're one in the same, and he's failed them both. Dabi making light of Enji's hope that maybe he could heal just underscores how broken he is. How much he broke him--]
Clearly you find some sick pleasure in knowing that I do, so do what you want with it. I don't care. Just don't let me catch you doing anything stupid to hurt yourself while I'm around, or I'll hurt you myself.
[There's little sense in offering violence as a solution to self-harm, but Endeavor was never trained to deal with this kind of thing, and violence is most of what he's good at. He's being baited, though. Dabi doesn't try to hide that he's pushing at Enji's buttons, but he's old and set in his ways, he doesn't know how to just ignore it. That's part of his problem and why change is so hard.]
I don't have any friends, and you know that. [Only co-workers. Well, maybe Hawks on a good day, but somehow only having a single friend is worse than being so socially inept that he chooses not to keep any.
Dabi isn't pulling away from his touch this time, and Enji decides not to back down either. His hand ghosts over the curve of his shoulder, up the side of his son's neck to ultimately rest his hands against his jaw. He can't help but be curious. All they found of Touya on that mountain was a jaw bone. So was the one in there now artificial? Or did it belong to someone else. Maybe the jaw bone on the mountain belonged to someone else entirely, and Touya left burnt but with his skeleton in tact? At some point Enji became lost enough in his thoughts that he thought nothing of how his thumb came to drag over Dabi's upper lip.]
I didn't do that to him. His mother did. [A pause.] But no, I've never had that kind of relationship with him.
[there's not. it's his quirk and he's going to gun the fucking juice out of it to get what he wants. not that he'd ever been taught how to slow it down. all endeavor ever told him to do was "stop" before casting him off or demeaning his efforts to improve. it was too late; he'd already been spurred on by endeavor's dreams and ambitions. telling him "no" was as effective as jumping in front of a van careening down the hill with no brakes to stop it.]
Might have to fight with ya eyes closed them.
[later on. he's not about to go off on him right now, much as he wants to. there's too much more he could do if he waited. but they're destined to clash regardless. endeavor alone or shouto and the rest of their cursed "family" dragging along for the ride to hell. somewhat lucky for him, however, is dabi really had to overuse his quirk for a good while to reach the point of burning himself bad enough the scarring began to consume more of his skin. if endeavor has a hard time comparing the two images of his son, well... that's what you get when one of them burns alive to death and vanishes into the muck for years. he didn't get to grow up all prim and properly abused like his beloved replacement.]
That's how revenge works, Endeavor. [the latter threat earns one brow diving up into his spiky bangs and dabi eyes him curiously.] Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do? Burn me?
[while he's certainly turned to drugs, drink, violence, and sex to curb the pain and survive in the harsh landscape of the underworld, dabi's never been one for cutting or abusing himself like that. could argue about all those piercings, but you know, they're a bit more functional more than decorative. the idea of endeavor voluntarily hurting him if dabi hurts himself is all sort of ironic and hypocritical and it's fascinating in a vindictive way. but... not sure he wants to give him the pleasure of it.]
Ya like that angry kid on TV. Bitchin about havin no friends when ya know ya not the one who gets to make that call. [friends can and will decide they're someone's friend whether the friend in question wants to accept it or not. shouto's a prime example of that. endeavor sees coworkers, but from what dabi's seen of hawks, there are plenty who view endeavor as a friend and someone to protect.]
Ya know why she did it. Too bad... I'd've burned his entire face off.
[till the whole puppet was a pile of cinders. dabi tilts his head to the side, somewhat wary, but not pulling away so much as simply baring more of his neck and jaw for endeavor to look at and touch. almost like a doctor's inspection. he's very rarely been to a doctor despite his physical state. granted it's not like he's unhealthy? just burned up and living on the streets. he can feel the heat of his father's hand on his skin, leaving lines behind his fingers. as they settle on his jaw, dabi meets endeavor's gaze again, a complete lack of emotion behind his eyes. merely curious. especially when the man's thumb began to wander across his lip. the unburnt one. soft and still "normal" to touch.]
[Being physical, for better or worse, is where he feels the most comfortable. His threats don't come from nowhere, he typically can back up his bark with a sizable amount of bite. This situation is a little different than normal, though, and if he's really honest with himself, he's not sure he can bring himself to fight Dabi. Not the way he'd fight any other villain. That's a reveal for another time, though. Enji associates the amount of respect he can command to how strong he is physically, so if Dabi finds out that he's the man's achilles heel, that would dissolve what little leverage he thinks he has.]
I could fight you with my eyes closed and quirkless.
[Talking shit while neither seem to be in a fighting mood is safe since Enji knows he won't have to try to act on it.]
There are other ways to hurt you. [He holds Dabi's gaze directly for some time before glancing down again, always finding something new he didn't notice the first time his eyes raked over his son. There's so much of himself in Dabi, the villain, but so much of Rei in the bits of Touya that are left. Maybe that's part of the reason he seems momentarily fixated on Dabi's mouth as he speaks. Even as the words he says cause Enji's temper to flare.]
Your brother didn't do anything to you. Your fight is with me.
[It's less of Enji encouraging Dabi to pick on someone his own size, and more of a demand to keep his eldest's attention on himself rather than anyone else. That's another thing they have in common. Dabi's desire to keep his father's eyes on him are at least partially subconscious. Enji's are half to protect others, and half selfishness. He'd never admit it, but there's a tiny amount of satisfaction to be gained from being admired, all heroes feel it, but he just doesn't let it distract him from work.
The problem is, Dabi's gaze isn't full of admiration. It's contempt. He'll take the consolation prize of being regarded at all for now.]
No. I hate how much you remind me of your mother. [Rei was warm and caring like Fuyumi most of the time. A reasonably good mother. But there were times when she could be so cold. He's thankful that side of her usually only came out toward him during arguments, or hushed conversations when she'd be fed up with him. Literal fire and ice. When they were both good, the chemistry was intense, the rest of the time was a disaster.
Those lips were just like hers. The lower one would be too, he remembers, if Dabi hadn't been burned so badly. The pad of Enji's thumb rests on the scar tissue where his lower lip would have been a bit more plush, but he doesn't mind the way it looks or feels now. Dabi's not his wife, after all, none of that should matter to him. ]
[physically, he's absolutely no match for endeavor. the man could break his arm over his knee if he wanted. hell, break anything. from what he's seen, dabi's divided on battling his father. on the one hand, he wouldn't be surprised if the man's guilt and shock prevent him from lifting a hand towards him. on the other, he's seen him come back from unconsciousness to knock out their giant freak of an ally, and knows shouto won't let endeavor cower away in pathetic wallowing. thinking to himself and rifling through his own feelings, dabi knows he'd prefer it if endeavor fought him. there's no way he can overpower and destroy the man definitively if he won't fight for his life. surpassing someone who won't fight is impossible.
of course, dabi doesn't seem to mind the verbal jousting as his father deals with the scars all over his body. he's obviously seen them in his video, but guess nothing can compare to seeing them and touching them up close.]
Bullshit. [that comment earns a bit more snap in his response. other ways to hurt him. fuck off.] I'm always hurting. [between his memories and feelings and the scorching burns all over his body, dabi lives in pain, though he can mostly ignore it after all these years. dismissive as he is of that threat, there's a focus in his eyes that says he's actually paying attention to it. the way endeavor's holding his eyes is annoying. other ways of hurting him. well if they manage to stop him and then lock him away in prison for the rest of his life, he'd be fucking livid and raging mad in the dark. that's something... stealing his chance for revenge would also drive him into a fury. but pain?
dabi cracks a grin when enji's temper flickers up again. ooo, a sensitive spot.]
He replaced me. I tried to kill him once; I'll do it again.
[and in a way, take back the meaning of his own existence. even if it means nothing more than a metaphorical victory, since his purpose is completely different now. also slaughtering shouto would devastate endeavor even more and truly force the man's attention to focus entirely on him. but dabi has his own hatred towards his youngest brother, rooted deep in his jealousy, rage, and confusion over his brother's perfection in the eyes of their father. because of him, touya ended up alone. shouto's nothing more than a means to an end for both of them, and he has no intention of letting the hero win that tug of war between them.]
That makes two of us. [spitting the notion of endeavor's wife out of his mouth in anger. dabi lifts his arms, looking at his hands and skin in disgust.] Bitch gave me this weak body. I get to cook myself alive because of her.
[on top of giving him flesh incompatible with his father's ferocious quirk, she also birthed touya too early. smaller than his siblings, not as quick to develop, never getting the musculature and size natsuo and shouto inherited from enji. another point of utter contempt and jealousy dabi harbors towards the three of them. the only thing his mother gave him was the ability to stand out in the cold and mock everyone else shivering around him, then pointedly refuse to use his fire to warm them up. (yeah, he can be a real asshole to the other league members.)
his eyes narrow as the man's thumb captures his lower lip, purple flesh feeling less pliable than his upper rim. scarred and tougher, the faintest gleam of light catching on the staples piercing through his lower lip. never quite sure if that's keeping his lip together or simply there because dabi wanted the look. the way endeavor's touching him is bringing some other thoughts to mind, and the moment they arrive, he's both completely repulsed and disturbingly intrigued. hey, he left his shame in the alley.]
Uh-huh. Still got some more stuff for ya to take responsibility for.
[Dabi has probably suspected his father of being too sentimental to lift a hand against him. Freezing up when Natsuo was being threatened was likely the talk of the town in certain circles. It wouldn't he hard to put two and two together. Especially since he's been so vocal about how Touya has ever been the only one to WANT to train with him. Although he won't play favorites with his children, the fond memories he has of his eldest is hard to live up to.
Which is why it's so funny (not really) that Dabi is jealous of Shouto. The only thing he has over him is being genetically capable of regulating his temperature one way or the other. He never wanted to be like his father, hated training, only wanted to play with his siblings, and would cry when frustrated. Objectively nothing to be jealous of. Of course now he's doing well, sure, but that's more due to All Might than any fire he could ever spark inside him.]
Don't talk about your mother that way.
[Enji frowned. They were likely on the verge of divorce, but that didn't mean he would let Dabi's disrespect go unchecked.] Your body would be perfectly fine if you weren't so insistent on burning it up from the inside. And you definitely don't get your good looks from me.
[He's not sure how much he can say about what he knows Dabi did to survive. Reading his file before didn't mean anything to him because he was too stupid--too blind-- to see their connection. What did he care if some random evil-doer sold himself on the street to make ends meet? Completely different story if it's his own blood. That's why he hasn't brought it up, and has no intention to either.]
What else are you going to blame on me? I thought for sure you'd be out of things to blame on daddy issues.
[Enji has to force his focus from Dabi's mouth, shaking his head at himself for even verbalizing that connection to Rei out of the blue like that. He's got the sexual appetite of a pinecone most of the time, but a lot of that was due to not having time to entertain stray thoughts like that. Being shacked up with his son for days doesn't seem like it would lend itself for that kind of thinking either, and he doesn't want to give the wrong idea with his actions. No amount of mental gymnastics will make crossing that line acceptable. As a hero or not.]
Are you hungry? I brought some food. [It's not much, but it's a needed distraction.]
[considering what he has to go on is endeavor being unable to fight back against ending due to natsuo's fortuitous capture and then dropping in a heap without fighting when dabi revealed himself during the liberation war, yeah, he's suspecting the man's guilt will prevent him--or at least impede him--during a fight against his son. he's going to have to make it worth his while to come at him with his full strength. something like threatening the life of his favorite child...
objectively... except shouto had everything touya wanted: endeavor's attention and support and all the reasons shouto got those things. his quirk, his genes, his looks, his everything endeavor wanted that made him choose shouto over touya to bear his ambitions. shouto stole his life. his training, his time, his improvements, his pride, everything endeavor used to give touya was taken away and given to that little perfect puppet. when the hell did shouto ever crawl into bed and sob over not having a reason to live anymore?] Text
I ain't. I'm talkin bout your wife.
[again, just as he does with the distinction between endeavor, enji, and his father, dabi separates rei, endeavor's wife, and his mother for whenever he needs the more poignant reference. ultimately it means little, but it's just another indication of how much dabi compartmentalizes his relationship with his family. capable of boxing them up and shelving them as necessary, disconnected and uncaring. able to abandon them as much as they abandoned him, until he needed them to use as an attack on someone or proof about why he's doing the things he does. weaponizing his family like so many other things in his life.
why should he respect his parents when they didn't give a shit about him? dabi scowls at the man before uncurling his fingers.] Ya don't remember all that well. I'm weak. I couldn't lift the weights Natsuo could and Shouto's already as tall as me and stronger. I never did get through those obstacle courses under the time limit.
[he certainly got high marks for eagerness and effort, but... well... endeavor saw dabi's labored breathing after an hour and a half of walking. he doesn't do all that well with physical exertion. certainly not a trait he picked up from his hulking father.
as for his looks--] Yeah right, DILF. [and lets that be that.
funnily enough, for all his years on the streets, it wasn't until dabi joined up with the league of villains that he committed any noticeable crimes. petty theft and some muted attacks, but nothing that made any headlines or earned a big rapsheet outside of skeevy shit. he'd been pretty damn elated when snatch mentioned his murders were actually in the papers. it was a crowning moment. finally getting noticed!
the question snaps him out of his thoughts and he blinks. what else can he blame on endeavor?]
A lot. I'll bring 'em up as they come.
[give him time and he'll blame anything he can on his father. even ridiculous things like crimes and other villains. but then it turns into endeavor merely being part of a society that's to blame as a whole rather than simply the man himself. dabi tends to turn endeavor into the proverbial scapegoat.
luckily, enji's sudden change of topic breaks him out of his lurid thoughts and to something more neutral. hunger was, again, nothing dabi wasn't used to by now. the league's low points had them unable to even buy food, much less have the strength enough to steal it and get tangled up with heroes. it'd been one of the hardest things to adjust to as he recovered from what happened at sekoto peak. to go from having ready meals every day to not having meals at all... begging for food had been mortifying, especially since most people ran from his charred face or yelled at him and chased him off. stealing came next, but eventually his rage over the hunger and people's treatment of him led to attacks. fighting for food and surviving like a rat. the league had better food than being out on his own, but still, endeavor offering it abruptly brings back the memories, unbidden, of food in the todoroki estate.]
[In an ideal world he'd have just one child. One with Touya's drive and determination, Natsuo's natural physical strength, Fuyumi's kindness and intelligence, and..the very reason Dabi can't stand his youngest brother, his quirk. He feels bad even having the thought to reduce them all to a single good quality when they have so many others, but stray thoughts always hound him. There'd be time to feel guilty about it later.
Right before bed, the time when all of his poor decisions come back to haunt him.]
I hate to ruin your fun, but you do know how children are made, right?
[Enji knows Dabi knows, he's just being a dick because he can get away with it at the moment. They've got a mutual interest in not being detected. He doesn't know how to compartmentalize his emotional baggage the way Dabi can, but most of the time he can put things on the back burner to focus on something else--namely, work. Right now he has no such distraction, just Dabi's attention and scrutiny. It's only a matter of time before he fucks things up royally, so what difference does it make if he acts like he already has.]
Don't be close-minded. You don't have to be physically strong to be powerful. [Though, it really does help.] You're not weak, you have too many of my qualities to ever be. And look how powerful your quirk is. [Having abs or massive biceps didn't matter at the end of the day. He's about to point out how different things are now compared to when he was a baby, but holds back at that last comment. It may come off as condescending.
What's a DILF?
[There are times like this where his age shows. His age and lack of social awareness. Enji's entire world is work, and when he often ditches interviews in favor of more work, or avoids people because he doesn't need friends, it means he doesn't get out much. Despite knowing so much about how to do his job he doesn't know much else about "normal" things. Shouto has the same problem but at least he has a tight circle of friends now so he won't end up as bad as Enji.]
I'll be your punching bag until you get bored of it. [It's not a joke, just the truth. There has to be a point where it ends, right? He returns to his duffle bag, pushing aside very few clothing items to take out a couple jumbo packages of instant ramen. Enji sets those aside to get to two small boxes on the bottom.]
It's bento. From Fuyumi. Before you complain, she didn't know I was leaving. She drops them off every day, or has someone else do it if she doesn't have time. You can have the fresher one. [He hands one off to Dabi, inside should be a good mix of assorted food, the lower layer is rice with two additional layers on top. Definitely too much food for a child, and possibly for most adults, but Enji usually has an appetite.]
[the thought hasn't been alien to dabi's mind. four kids, four tries, four shots to finally hit the target and get the results he wanted. but those three failures still had some benefit to them, right? couldn't he at least take what was good about them and treasure that? at least make some use of it? no. instead, he focused everything on that "at last" perfect puppet and left the rest of them to rot, ignored and abandoned as unwanted experiments who only knew they were failures he wanted no part in. dabi's had a nightmare before about endeavor not even wanting to cut out the failures' "good parts" (if any) and gruesomely install them into shouto's body like some disgusting chimera made up of the salvaged pieces from the three sacrificial predecessors incorporated into one perfect body. that'd been a fun night.]
Yeah. Money and ambition.
[don't spoil his fun with your sarcastic logic, endeavor. he hates to admit there's a smirk playing on the corner of his mouth simply because his father's bantering with him and it's got traces of hilarity in the entire experience. long-since given up on earning his father's love and affection, he's settled for demanding his attention and hatred. this is a semblance of the latter and dabi's kind of fine with that for now. it's the first time he's actually had some decent conversation with the man, even if they are taking potshots at each other like a bickering divorced couple stuck in the same house. funny.]
Easy for you to say; some fuckin pint-sized geezer didn't knock ya out with a single kick.
[so he might be harboring some petulant resentment towards his own poor performance during the break in. fessing up to twice about his lack of strength during the assault on the kids' training camp was also irritating, though his wry self-depreciation stated it more as accepted fact. it's not just his fire that burns up dabi's body; he doesn't give himself much credit at times either, still thinking of himself as a failure who could never match up. it's that inferiority complex that adds more fuel to his flames.]
I know. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house.
[apart from his quirk training, initially with endeavor and then stubbornly on his own, he also learned a lot at school, made good grades, and got some pretty nice insight skills he could make use of later out on the streets. that was one benefit that set him apart from other villains, since he had quite the impressive background as a todoroki child. not that any of them knew till way later.
the question, however, earns a blink of surprise, followed by a "pfft" and a laugh. oh fuck, make his night why dontcha, old man? with his bodily inspection over, dabi heads back to the chair, not bothering to put his clothes back on. why should he? not like he gets cold.]
It's shorthand for "Dad I'd Like to Fuck". Means a hot, older, family man ya wanna bone. Pretty sure ya can't see it, but for a guy close to 50, you aged well. Your face still looks like you're in ya thirties, ya got that Greek god body goin on. [dabi taps the side of his own head in indication.] And don't even have a gray hair or wrinkles. Scar's somethin, but guess some people like their perfection marred. [he stretches his arms over his head and kicks his legs back up on the desk.] I've heard some real sleazy plans and thoughts people have about ya on the streets. What they'd do to you if they could ever catch ya and shut your Quirk off.
[way to sound creeper. maybe it's a good or bad thing that the change in topic allows the "punching bag" comment to fall off the proverbial table. dabi instead settles for watching the other man rooting around in his bag. tsk... not like he packed anything for this. just up and left with a few things in his pockets. probably should've planned this out more, but there were only a few hours between the end of the call and meeting endeavor. no time. oh well. they'd figure something out. get food delivered or hole up in a hotel after tonight. this is only a stopgap on the way.]
Bento?
[enji cuts off his initial ire and it fades in exchange for the box offered to him. dabi holds it for a minute, seeming confused or unsure about it. been a long time since he'd ever held his sister's cooking. she'd been learning to do it from their mom and servants before touya died. guess she got better. the first reaction he has is to throw it away and opt to starve... but... he pops the top off and is about to go at it with his fingers out of habit. then notices the chopsticks on the side and... kind of grumpily uses them instead.]
Ya know Fuyumi wants ya back in her life. Fuckin insane...
[Clearly Dabi also inherited Enji’s capacity to be a smartass. A habit he forced himself to break some time ago. It wasn’t becoming for a hero, they told him. He’s still on the fence about whether or not he agrees, but if that explosion child can make it then he’ll be validated. How does trying to pay Dabi a compliment turn into roasting his father and his parenting skills? Or lack thereof, in this case, he supposes.]
It took that and more to make the four of you, but you wouldn’t know. For all I know you’ve burnt off that part of you too.
[If Dabi wants to play this game, he’ll play. His son has no idea the handful he was in school. He’ll be the punching bag that talks back. Although, the comment about Gran Torino is self-deprecating enough that he doesn’t even need to add anything to that. He does feel guilty though. Like maybe it’s his own fault for not taking training Touya seriously. Then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten pushed around by an old man.
Wait, what?! Dad he would like to WHAT? Enji’s brows shoot up in astonishment, disgust, and judgement all at once in an intense change of facial expression that can only be described as a pastor having glimpsed pornography for the first time.]
That’s disgusting. Don’t be crass. We’re related. [As he realizes that the words were part of the definition, he tries to pull himself together but a lingering blush tints his otherwise abrasive features. Disgusting. How was that the first thought in his mind?
Enji pretends to be preoccupied with bento as Dabi goes on to say things he has no interest in hearing. Sure, he’s been on the cover of men’s heath and fitness magazines in very form fitting clothing that revealed more of him than his costume, but he’s never gone back to look at the feedback and commentary. He has assistants that do that for him and they keep that shit to themselves.
He clears his throat loudly, forcing chopsticks at Dabi along with his food to just end that topic immediately. Only Dabi would come up with the most unnerving way to tell Enji he wasn’t bad looking.]
She just wants everyone to be happy. Easiest way to do that is to remove myself from the equation. [He lifts his hands as if to say, there, he’s done it. Then he settles on the floor comfortably to eat.]
[inherited it, but didn't learn to make good use of it until after he died. touya could be an arrogant or angry brat, but not much of a sarcastic one. latent smartassism came out roaring when dabi was born. along with that venomous tongue of his. if he actually could stand to care, he might be amused to learn of the times endeavor's PR people lectured him about his public image. when he decided to follow their advice and how many times he told them to fuck off. add more ammo to his smoking gun.
as for twisting a compliment... it's a despicable skill. still, enji's thrown him for a loop once or twice already, so take some pride. dabi's not completely unflappable, much as he'd like to believe himself to be. case in point, that last bit of shade towards his dick sees his lower jaw drop a bit. plus the half-made incredulous grin as he stares at himself in the windows. did the great hero endeavor just drop a grade-school insult at him? he's completely scandalized! and actually entertained for once. wow.]
That your way of askin me to get rid of these too?
[and flicks the hem of his pants. ironically his voice probably has the least amount of venom in it than he's ever talked to endeavor before with. mostly because it'd been truly amusing. and thankfully he has yet to torch his dick off, so at least that's a relief. there have been times he'd wondered...
he craves seeing endeavor brought low in front of him, humiliated and destroyed, but he doesn't want it done to some pathetic, whimpering sobber with no spine. the fire he's getting back for his jabs is heartening while ticking him off simultaneously. like seeing endeavor continued to do heroics even after all he exposed about him. this asshole's still out there flying around in the sun, but that means he gets to smack him down even harder next time.
(fuck that old geezer. dabi's gonna burn his damn feet into blackened nubs if he gets a hold of him.)
oh but you bet your ass he's looking over his shoulder to see his father's reaction to that new lingo on the streets. breaks the villain's face into a wide grin; that is fucking perfect. oh he could've left it at the acronym explanation, but why bother stopping there when he could shovel it on? his turquoise eyes look like two flames flickering with delight in the darkness above his skeleton smile.]
Uh-huh. And I'm dead. [dabi sticks the chopsticks in his mouth and lazily swings his chair around, head following his body after a second like a weird lounge while his tongue plays with the bamboo rods. well well, never thought enji had the capacity to blush. ah should've done that sooner.
someone had to tell the man the truth sooner or later. tabloids have a grand time snapping photographs of that blue-clad ass and then hell if endeavor's ever looked himself up online. wow. luckily he doesn't pursue it. the crass topic has run its course. hm... maybe he should come up with a way to mar natsuo; then all the male todoroki could have some sort of disfigurement due to burns. (yes, those are the kinds of random thoughts he gets.) well, they are talking about his siblings, so...]
What's your wife think about that? I know she left rehab to go see ya.
[about what, he has no idea, but endeavor didn't stay in his fucking hospital bed or give up being a hero, so he's pretty sure she had something to do with the man's refusal to expire.]
[He has so many questions that he both doesn’t want to know but can’t help but be curious about. Enji shakes his head, hoping the stray thoughts look at themselves with the same new-found introspection he uses on himself lately and rectify themselves immediately. He knows he’s fucked up before, letting himself get out of hand when he let his emotions burn through him like the fire he has no issues controlling. Except when his emotions do it, he blacks out and comes to after having done something unspeakable.
Hitting his wife. Being too rough with Shouto during training. This, whatever this is between himself and Dabi, this will not be one of those things. He’s passed that version of himself and he only just—-
Enji makes the mistake of glancing up when Dabi gestures to the waistband of his pants. His jaw sets immediately and he doesn’t even bother responding to whatever it is his son is on about. Right, he’s dead. That doesn’t work anymore when everyone knows Dabi’s true identity. He hunches over his food, standing abruptly to find a seat elsewhere. It’s far enough from Dabi that he doesn’t have to look right at him, but close enough that they can have a conversation without shouting. They’d probably sleep after this, anyway. Better to carve out their own spaces from now, isn’t it?]
She feels responsible for you being—the way you are now. Says I can’t have a monopoly on blame even though we both know all she did was go along with what I told her.
[He puts more food into his mouth as he considers what he wants to say.]
She’s lived without me this whole time, she’ll be fine. The only reason she came to see me was because of you. [And if there’s more to it, he’s never let himself think any further about it. He’s half mentally prepared for divorce anyway. The kids are old enough not to be troubled by it now.] Why? Did you want to know what she thinks of you now?
[maybe there's a whole slew of information he can give endeavor the man has no idea about. all that matters if whether he wants to learn about that shit. dabi being the trainer for once could be a heady experience... he lapses into quiet as he munches on the food. even if it's not straight out of the kitchen fresh, the taste of homecooking is unmistakable and the nostalgic reminder simultaneously floods his street-washed palette and turns his stomach over on itself. let endeavor worry about dilf and butt shots. dabi's sitting over here trying not to choke on a piece of cucumber.
abandoning. the phrase you're looking for is "abandoning your child and dismissing him after filling his head with unrealistic expectations and ambitions he couldn't hope to accomplish because his genes got fucked up bad enough you replaced him" or something like that.
dabi finds out he's better off shoving the food into his mouth and not looking at it. throw it down like it's one of those ready-to-eat dinners they stole out of a convenience store. don't think about who made it, don't think about where it came from, don't think about how it tastes similar to his past.
leaving endeavor to sit over on that side of the room, dabi's left thinking over what to do next. it's getting later, edging somewhere between nine and ten at night. the moon's already high and it's black outside, his fire having been put out a while ago and no longer lighting the hill horizon blue. smoke's still covering the air in a massive swath of a plume though. where are they going to sleep? this is a stopover station for the villains so there's probably some cots or bedrolls stashed away in here somewhere. blankets and stuff. maybe a shower and some supplies. honestly dabi's never been here before, so it's going to be a bit of a hunt to find things. he knows what symbol to look for at least?
jarred out of his thoughts, he looks at endeavor in the reflection.]
Yeah? She still agreed to the marriage for money and she didn't fucking run away or call the police or do anything. Cept get hit and cower. She thought I was a chore, kept tellin me to give up and do somethin else, just like you. Betcha she never tried to make Shouto give up...
[and the bitterness rises up again, directed once more towards his little brother who stole everything from him simply by being created.]
Hn, glad I could get the whole damn family together again. [he wanted them to unite in hatred against endeavor, but apparently it went somewhat the opposite way. doesn't know how or why, but that's the feeling he gets looking at endeavor's continued heroics. this day aside.] I know what she thinks of me. I'm the same burden she had to deal with before. Just a lot worse now.
[There's definitely still a lot for Enji to learn as a man, a human being, a father--Particularly that last one. Hero work has taken over the majority of his life, so now that he doesn't have that for the next two weeks, he had zero clue what to do with himself. Without the title of hero, he's just a crappy father, a shit husband, and...a bad person. Maybe he and Dabi aren't as different as he lets himself believe.
Not knowing what a DILF is was not one of the most pressing matters, but was a fairly clear indication of how out of touch he is with the average person. Dabi is hardly average, though, he reminds himself. What he said earlier lingers in Enji's mind for a while as he eats, not realizing Dabi has a clear view of him in the reflection of the windows. Maybe he'd have tried to mask his expressions or not look so much like he's mulling things over internally. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house. Was that from his refusal to continue training Touya, or because his methods weren't effective? This is the sort of thing he debates with himself when he's not speaking.]
By the time I got to Shouto, she just begged him to do as I said.
[There's some guilt there, sure, but Dabi is right. She did agree, and she never told anyone about their fights. And although the fighting was rarely ever one-sided, he knows better than to even think that made it fair, or less shameful for people to know.]
That's probably what caused her to snap. She couldn't win against me, but Shouto reminded her enough of me and that was a fight she could win. [Or maybe she lost it in the heat of the moment the way Enji does. Maybe being around him so long had Rei taking on his bad habits? He sighs and shakes his head. He's getting ahead of himself, and he should just let things be. She doesn't have to deal with him anymore, so that's already an improvement.]
I think she just didn't know how to help you. Neither did I. You weren't a burden until you grew up, announced yourself on national television, told the world about our personal issues, and decided to fuck up my life.
[He looks up at that point, seeing Dabi's reflection in the mirror and the pointed stare in his own eyes before it softens again into something else. Regret, probably. Can't blame the truth on him, just the fact that it finally leaked.]
I'm done. [Enji announces to no one in particular since Fuyumi isn't around to accept gratitude for the meal. He gets up without saying anything else to have a look around. The place isn't huge, so there's only so many places that some bed rolls might be hiding. He stumbles across the bathroom first, though. Dabi should have some sympathy for his mother, in the end she was just as much a victim to Enji's insufferable grip on the throat of his family.] Do you want to shower or figure out the sleeping situation?
[dabi remains silent as he listens to endeavor pondering over his son, his wife, his life. he never intended to be sitting here inadvertently helping the man he hated go through some of the mess in his life. there's no wallowing on endeavor's side, no tears or due penance. only a man who's coming to grips with the shit he's done and... what? trying to make amends, trying to figure out where he went wrong or what he could've done better to attempt at replicating those fixes now? he doesn't know, can't fathom what's going through endeavor's mind. it's not what dabi envisioned when he pondered his revenge. he wanted to see more of those broken faces when endeavor couldn't fight against ending, when dabi revealed himself as touya, when the man lay defeated and shattered in the hospital bed.
this? ... no.]
Cept he didn't. I saw him yell at you when you hit her. [after touya came back with his burns, leading endeavor to argue with his wife over him, resulting in the blow, shouto's yells, natsuo and fuyumi cowering in fear elsewhere as touya left the entire lot of them behind.] And he rejected you after you sent his mom away. [a soft chuckle lolls from his mouth.] I never would've rejected you. I would've walked into hell for ya.
[he thinks so little of endeavor's wife, despises his youngest child, all because they removed his father's attention from him. one by never standing up for him, the other by being more desirable. hates them both for those things and the other stains on his life they stand for.]
Dunno. I was dead before she broke. If ya really think she boiled Shouto's face cause she wanted to do it to you but couldn't...
... bfft-! Haha! That's fuckin hilarious! I'd've loved to've seen her throw a teapot at you!
[he didn't get to live with rei and the family while their mother slowly twisted into insanity. hearing endeavor mention it now is a first glimpse, but it's still funny. since he'd never really gotten the chance to talk to shouto about his burn, for obvious villain-related reasons + being dead at the time, he'd been curious about the cause behind it. did some digging to find out why she'd been committed and finally found out, but hearing it more or less confirmed? that's a nice piece of information for him to tuck away for a later date.]
Ya keep sayin ya don't know... ah forget it. We're just goin in circles now. S'no fun.
[he tosses back the last of his bento's top layers, but makes a face at the rice at the bottom. disgusting. dropping the bento onto the counter, he scoots away from it, not about to eat the rest. hates plain rice. not as much as he hates fish, but it's a good second place.]
But don't be too sore about the video. I damned myself in it as well. And at least I outed Hawks alongside ya. So ya didn't have to go to the press all by yourself. I'm sure plenty of other heroes have dirt and crimes they don't want the world knowing either. Should make another one...
[musing to himself, he glances up to catch endeavor looking at him in the reflection. dabi's eyes narrow at the stare and when enji's soften into regret, his only harden into determination. leaving endeavor to go searching, he stays in the chair, lingering in the darkness in thought. no, the place isn't that big, a small complex for the tower's support and some overnight stay. but as enji finds, there is a bathroom with a shower and there's a little bedroom tucked in the back for the worker or guard off shift.
dabi breaks from his thoughts at the question, then stands from the chair.]
There should be an extra area in here... Hang on.
[it takes him a while of searching, using his flames as light. but after a minute, he manages to locate the villains' hidden panel. a quick code entry and a section of the floor loosens before popping up. beneath is another chamber, bathroom, computer room, two beds, and an underground route to vanish from the outpost into the hills. other supplies linger down there, from a few bedding extras to batteries and dried foods. things to help an on-the-move villain lie low for the night, get a quick refresh and restock, then go on their way without being seen.]
We probably don't need to sleep down there. Unless someone shows up tonight.
[and if they have that kind of luck (or misfortune) they should immediately head to a casino to win big.]
[He'd given up on making amends already. His family was either going to forgive him or not, and whether he begged them to or not, ultimately the decision would be up to them. All he could have done was made improvements and do better, which he was still in the process of when Dabi proposed they up and disappear for a while. This wasn't really meant to be a family bonding trip either, but Enji would be lying if he said he had a good idea of what was going on in the villain's head at any given point. Maybe being around him would help him understand.
But the only thing he's gotten from any of this is that Dabi is insane, and reason means fuck all to him. If Touya is in there somewhere he has a hard time seeing it.
Yet, there are moments when he does get that feeling. Or maybe he's projecting his nicest memories of their time together onto his son. How many of them did Dabi actually even remember? But most of the time so far has been like this. Dabi ridiculing him for one thing or another and bringing up his disdain for not only him, but everyone else in the family. Enji sighs.]
Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you also had plans to dragging other people's images through the mud? [He's about to keep fussing about it like the nagging parent he is on the inside when Dabi suggests another round of videos.] No, absolutely not. If you want to make videos, make a damn documentary and stop trying to put people's private lives on display.
[He gets moves closer when Dabi starts to mess with a panel he hadn't noticed before. Apparently it triggers a mechanism that seals off a whole other area of the building, and decides that even if his son is insufferable he does have some redeeming qualities hidden behind all of the crazy.]
But I'm not an idiot, you know. I get it. Heroes are idolized and put on pedestals they don't deserve. We put on masks and dress up so we don't have to deal with our imperfections. It's hypocritical. [He's talking to Dabi as he heads down. The second he sees there's a shower Enji begins to undress, ready to wash away all the bullshit of the day with piping hot water.]
It's not even about the money or the fame for me. [Enji says this part quietly, not sure if Dabi is even listening anymore. Part of him hopes he isn't.] I'm just not good at anything else. [His ego isn't fragile, but he knows himself pretty well. Being a hero is all he has, and if it means living a lie whenever he suits up, he'd have kept doing it because he's good at it and he has nothing else. If he can't fix his own family, at least he can help other people get home safely to theirs.]
I don't mind sleeping down here so you can have your own space.
[He's already shrugged off his coat and his shoes, shirt, and belt are next. Enji throws them all onto one of the small beds that he's unsure he'll fit in comfortably, but he won't complain. Turning on the shower to test the water, it doesn't get as hot as he wants, but that won't be an issue. So used to being home alone, he doesn't think to give any warning before his jeans come down and off. He lingers naked for a moment, waiting to see if the water will heat up further before he gets in. It doesn't, so he'll have to make his own steam.]
[there's a lot of venting he has built up inside. the pain and hatred. there's no way he's going to be able to blow it all out in a few hours. plans, machinations, dreams, ambitions, things that he's been gunning for years towards and only in the past one has he had the ability to capitalize on other people enough to bring it out into fruition. true, he hadn't hit endeavor hard enough to knock him down for good, hadn't broken him to the point of going up to that proverbial mountain and burning on the pyre dabi's built for him in his mind. but that simply means he's going to get more opportunities to do it later. hurt him, humiliate him, torment him, ruin him, until he's finally sated enough to end him.
he honestly doesn't think he's that hard to understand, but perhaps someone who's spent so much time in the light and looking away from the darkness behind him simply can't grasp what it means for someone to hate him so much it consumes their reason for existing. or becomes it. might've had a glimpse into that with ending, but dabi's the one who brought it starkly forward.
does it surprise him endeavor can't really handle that reality? not exactly. but it also has an unintended backlash against the villain. eventually attacking someone who's gone numb turns out to be pointless.
so dabi steps back to let him recharge. his tone's quieter, less accusing, but still carries weight to it.]
You still think they should get away with crimes?
[let endeavor think about the "who" that "they" refers to. mostly heroes, yes, but also government officials, wealthy civilians, the people who use the hero society to behave like villains but remain safe from touch because they're good at hiding their sins. dabi's exposed endeavor and hawks and then there's lady nagant to consider.
endeavor can't be stupid enough to think he's the only one who should answer to the darkness in his past. perhaps dabi's appealing to the man's own sense of revenge, angry that he's had to face the light while others he might know get to hide their shame and mistakes. or maybe he's testing the man's damn heroic resolve to do the "right" thing and see villains brought to justice or prevented from harming more people. except now the question is who really is the "villain" in this society...
he leaves his father to think about that question, couched in the threat of another tell-all video. dabi might have focused on endeavor and hawks for their connection to him, but he's certainly not the only villain with a personal vendetta against people. and once one gets out with success, others follow. wouldn't it be best if the heroes came out about their skeletons before some villain does it for them?
because of that, he lapses into silence as they figure out the outpost and its secrets. dabi feels minutely proud of himself for locating and accessing the panel to get the secret area open. wandering around it at least gives them more an idea of what they've got at their disposal.]
So if ya get all that, why haven't ya tried to stop it? Do ya really want heroes like that?
[it follows stain's ideology of wanting only true heroes to be active. dabi's tone suggests he's being sincere for a rare moment to his father. endeavor's seen the darkness in their society and has been forced to confront it. even though he's currently out of action thanks to this agreement with his insane child, dabi can still question the hero's drive and thoughts for the future. it's probably not smart to give him the information, but... what does endeavor want to do? talk about the best way to cook asparagus?]
It ain't about that now.
[and while he would begrudgingly give endeavor the comment about money, he'd instantly lash at him over the man's heroism not being about his own "fame" and reputation. arrogant and self-centered, wanting to be the number one so much he developed and obsession with it to the point of ruining his entire family, of course he wanted that fame and acknowledgement of his strength. he's been humiliated (humbled) enough to recognize the flaws of that goal and dabi's aware of that, but he still doesn't believe it's as sincere as it is. thinks it's just endeavor trying to crawl out of his disastrous position right now and he'll return to "normal" later to reclaim what he's always longed for. but that's for dabi's thoughts.
which are somewhat distracted as he watches endeavor start to strip. shame? nope. he's standing right and his eyes follow coat, shirt, etc as they get removed. look, after you see spinner take a shower, this is nothing.]
Huh, really. So who put together ya agency? Hire someone to do that?
[he never got around to burning that place down. it's on the list, but it's not a priority at the moment. hopefully it'll be collateral damage in the war. dabi scoffs at the notion of sleeping down there before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his shoulder to the wall, one ankle crossed over the other.]
I'll think about it.
[it's safer to sleep down here in the bunker in case something happens. sleeping up there is asking for trouble. though they are far away and this place is semi-abandoned, the fact there's a dead woman and a park on blue fire a few miles away is likely going to get a search party fanning out to look for him. there's little doubt someone's going to remember this outpost and at least come for a check.
one, unfortunately the hot water is zilch. dabi won't care but endeavor'll have to contend with it. two, he's abruptly looking at the hero stripped right down in front of him. backside of course, but no one's going to say that's not impressive. hmm... should he say the "dilf" comment again? nah, he's antagonized endeavor enough, to the point it's really not doing shit to him. so he opts to stay where he is and watch like he doesn't care at all.]
[Maybe while they're on this little forced camping trip, he'll find some kind of outlet for Dabi to take all his shit out on. And he's not above that too, it might be therapeutic for the both of them, but Enji will have to do some research first to see what would be safe for them to try, and how, because something tells him that family therapy is not going to materialize in their future without another hostage and Enji's not going to allow that.
In the meanwhile, though, he can reason with him. Honestly. He'll say shit that he'd never repeat to anyone else. It's hard to say if Dabi will even believe him, so it matters less if he lies or not. The truth is just easier.]
No. I don't think anyone should get away with crimes. I don't think anyone is above the law. No matter how much fame or money someone has, they should pay for their crimes like everyone else.
[Which is easy enough to say. There's no one alive that doesn't think that Stain wanting just the pure of heart and karma to be the one's parading around as heroes. That'd be ideal, but this is not fantasy it's real life.]
But the fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, heroes are people, and they make mistakes. Some bigger than others. And they can be motivated by money, greed, popularity...competition.. [Yeah, that last one is all him. The popularity wasn't what he was after ever. Just the number one spot. He wanted to be "the best" and that started with being the number one hero in the country, surpassing All Might. Blah, blah, blah. Those goals feel so far from him now that he's come to terms with what's actually important.]
Something like that is too much for one man to stop. I know a hero isn't supposed to think that way, but you already know I'm a fraud. I'm just an idiot who wanted to become stronger than All-Might.
[Now he was unequivocally a great hero and Enji could never be like that. He isn't wired for it. Bakugo may have similar problems if his focus remains on Midoriya rather than self-improvement, but that's neither here nor there.
I put my agency together out of necessity. If I went anywhere else, I'd be contractually obligated to do ridiculous interviews, give press releases, do fan events--stuff that's a waste of time. [Still naked and waiting on the shower to warm up (it's not warming up), he turns to face Dabi for a moment, shaking his head.] It was a selfish way to put my money into something that would benefit me. You're not all wrong about me, I don't deserve most of what I have, but that's the way the world works.
[If he's aware he's being watched when he turns back around he doesn't show it. The mention of Natsuo seemed like as good a time as any to bring out his flames, so that when he stepped under the cold water steam quickly filled up the bathroom and poured out of the open door that he'd keep talking to Dabi through.]
I think he understands you the most out of everyone, but he feels bad that he couldn't help you too. Not as much as he blames me for all of it happening in the first place, but he hates me enough to think the video you released wasn't such a bad thing to happen to me.
[A lot of that is speculation on his part. The times they've actually had an honest conversation could be counted twice over on a single hand. Once his fire is out the steam lingers only for a moment until it's just cold water again. Enji has a battle within himself about whether or not to swallow his pride and ask Dabi to come over and act as a space heater since he's dry and can maintain fire. On the other hand he can suffer through a cold shower. It would be good for him...yet...the last time he had one had been in his expensive bathroom with perfectly temperature controlled water. Fuck it.]
[if he dares come to him and suggests therapeutic wood carving with chainsaws, he's gonna at least take the chainsaw. and pawn it. fuyumi might be the one wanting to have everyone sit down and talk about forgiveness to be a nice wholesome family again, but she's out of her fucking mind if she thinks that's going to work for a damn moment. dabi's already dismissed her as nuts from how she acted back during touya's childhood. a coward who wants to sweep things under a rug of pleasantries and try to forget the past ever happened. that ain't how the past, or the future, works.
what he's getting out of endeavor right now, however, is strange. because between their calmer voices and dabi's less venomous attacks, the start of a somewhat decent? conversation's happening. even if the topic is still damnable for the heroes it references. dabi'd love to be recording this for later, but due to the lack of phones and shit, there's no way. it's for his ears alone...]
Ya know any heroes who should pay for their shit? Asides from you.
[beat that horse enough for the day. and while he could toss hawks onto the block, that answer's obvious, even though dabi only really has one crime on the winged hero, that being twice's murder. since the flaming chicken tricked him with best jeanist. but if he's in the same position as lady nagant, then he's bound to have done some dirty things. has all might? does endeavor even know or as he not been privy (or cared enough) to look into other heroes' wrongdoings?]
Villains are people too. Same motivation. Same "mistakes".
[but society's picky choosy over the who, the why, and the severity. dabi's not an idiot enough to lack understanding of that fact. there are a lot of villains who have done a lot "worse" than the majority of heroes, though that might depends on whose viewpoint was looking. at least the villains are honest about their crimes... some of them. it's all a fucking mess.]
Dunno. Sometimes strength doesn't matter. One man with enough conviction can change the world.
[no disagreement with endeavor putting himself down as fraud and idiot. dabi lets him get away with it without comment, merely tilting his head in silent agreement. moves onto the agency part because he's honestly curious about that. tapping his fingers on his forearm, dabi watches the steam rise up in the shower, momentarily blocking his father's body from view. not like there's a curtain or anything to drag across. it's merely an open cell because why bother having extra accommodations down here?]
Seriously? Oh, cause you'd just be a lackey for the other agency. Ya wanna be ya own boss.
[call the shots, order people around, make sure everything's going the way he wants. that should've been an obvious reason. dabi didn't know much about hero agencies, save for they were as stuck up as the buildings were tall. another symbol of the materialistic hero.]
The way the world works, huh. Pretty sure ya know that's a real shitty excuse. And a shitty way to run the world. Ya really determined to go back to bein a hero? Why dontcha join us and help kick it all over?
[this might be one of the stupidest things he's ever said. it's as dumb, if not dumber, than trying to convert that explosive anger management kid. but hey, this conversation's not harming anyone and endeavor's free to think outside the box down here. not on record or anything. dabi can ask a stupid question or two as well. endeavor's got a somewhat villainous vibe to him already.]
Betcha he doesn't understand me now.
[dabi pushes off the door and waves a booted foot through the steam pouring out the doorway. he even curls his hand around to bat at some of the misty vapors. playing with it momentarily. natsuo was the one he trusted the most, the one he was closest too, but eventually even that crumbled away. watching endeavori's flaming outline through the shower steam is a strange experience. but not at all unappealing. sometimes he's wondered what it'd be like to blast the guy with a firehose. might be something like this?] Text
Not to you, but I'm pretty sure he's pissed as hell for it dragging the rest of them back in the spotlight. Good. They should all get a chance to talk for once.
[even if dabi had to drag them out one by one and kick them into the light to make them open their damn mouths about what happened. shouto's gonna side with endeavor, then he can get the experience too.
he glances up at the fire flickering out and a grin cracks on the corner of his mouth. bets that water's freezing. keeping the fire going can't be that hard, but it's likely not doing much since the water coming in still remains cold. ain't a tub he can fill up and then boil. he drifts off into the steam that's left and after a while, returns when endeavor calls him.
just in his pants, having shed everything else out in the room.]
[Enji doesn't have a single creative or artistic bone in his body, so therapeutic arts and crafts isn't going to happen for him any time soon. The two of them are not that dissimilar that they wouldn't be able to figure something out. He's not thinking about any particular bonding activities just yet, but considering how complicated things were between them maybe sparring would be a good way to shake out the tension.
Discussing his coworker's dark pasts is not something anywhere on his list.]
First of all, I don't have any friends. I'm not close with anyone, so why would I know if they don't pay their taxes or have children out of wedlock?
[Two very oddly specific examples, but they are more rumor than fact, and to narrow down that search he'd have to have conversations that he doesn't want to have with people he doesn't want to have them with. He truly couldn't care less what fucked up things anyone else got up to in their free time. Maybe they felt the same? There's only one friend that he knows a lot about and he's already been targeted by Dabi. Hawks, short of having the eyes of a homewrecker, was a decent man, and doesn't deserve his son's wrath.
He opens his mouth to say as much but closes it when Dabi just flat out invites him to switch sides. Enji is silent for a while because that's not an easy question to answer, and maybe not just instantly saying no was also not a great look, either. Enji can't picture himself working with any members of the league of villains, and they might laugh at Dabi for suggesting they bring in his old man. Maybe he's just joking about this, too? Enji is thankful for the cold water falling down on him, keeping him awake and rational. In his rationality, he decides not to answer--it needs more thought.]
I don't think anyone truly understands you.
[He doesn't mean it as an insult, but there are very clear undertones of "you're batshit, and no amount of child abuse excuses the amount of insane that you are," and yet the same applies to him. There's no one that understands Enji either. He hardly understands himself most days.]
Natsuo doesn't go out of his way to be understanding. Maybe he'll join your side of the fight more easily than I can.
[And about the ice cube thing? At least Dabi is right on the money and Enji doesn't have to try to explain.]
[there is artistic expression involving throwing paint angrily around a room or breaking paint cans over furniture. modern expressionism they call it? dabi has zero intention of doing anything like that. the closest he might ever get to something along those lines is... fuck... paintballing with live ammo? if only because sparring, despite being on the table, still runs the risk of dabi losing control. not over his flames, but over the internal desire to attack and murder the man he hates.
seeing endeavor's refusal to spill secrets about his coworkers earns an annoyed click from the villain's tongue and a muttered "killjoy" following it.]
Cause ya still work in an office and people are gossips.
[heroes do their damnest to keep their images clean, so obviously someone has to know about the cleanup. he's kind of surprised endeavor doesn't know. the man may be extremely focused on his hero work, but for someone so focused on the top spot, he should have his eyes on the people trying to come up behind him. that or dabi's simply grown to be an almost paranoid-level of cautious about other people.]
Kinda specific examples though... someone came to mind right away, huh.
[he can work with rumors. gotta have some place to start. as for hawks, the man thought he could doublecross dabi and fuck up the league? not exactly the league, but he killed twice. did he have any fucking idea what sort of setback that had been to dabi's plans? hawks betrayed him, lied to him, allied with his father, and tried to ruin their organization, and by proxy the villain's hard work. hawks deserved every second of dabi's flames. and he had a lot of fun turning the winged vermin into a roast chicken. would've had two of them if that damn fool geten hadn't interrupted them...]
Oh? Ya actually thinkin about it? I'm surprised.
[figured endeavor would mock him for even suggesting the man become a villain. but that silence tells him otherwise. while endeavor likely wouldn't commit to the plf's goals and aims, he might assist them if it meant "making amends" with his black sheep son. dabi's not sure that's a very pleasant thought... but he's deluding himself if he thinks the plf would allow him to invite endeavor into their folds after what hawks did and the revelation that endeavor is dabi's father. he'd already been grilled by a few people post-war due to the 'traitor' and whether or not he had anything to do with leaking information to hawks and endeavor due to that relation. pfft, he'd laughed in all their faces. and killed two of them outright for thinking such things.]
Yeah, I've know that for years.
[dabi takes it as an insulting statement of his reality. none of them understood him. his entire family. is it any wonder he skulked off into the darkness and kept himself an enigmatic mess when emerging from them years later? when people understand you, you lose the advantage. far better to remain unknown and unpredictable. unless they start predicting your unpredictability so it ends up moot... already told shouto to his face he was insane and accepted that long ago. you don't burn yourself alive on a mountain and crawl out of the ashes with your brains intact.]
Natsuo's too pathetic to ever be useful. He's a coward who runs when things get too tough for him.
[as he speaks, dabi brazenly steps right into the shower with his father, one corner of his mouth stretching upward at the staples when the cold water splashed over him and didn't seem to bother him at all. a second later, the blue flames licked along his shoulders and down his arms, quickly increasing the heat of the room and the water drooling down his back.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yeees food was the best part.
Date: 11/28/21 04:21 (UTC)Because I'm the failure ya never wanted to see again.
[much less spend time with or expend any energy to touch. to interact. dabi recalls the brokenness of their family, the separation between himself and his two siblings and their separation between themselves and their littlest brother and father. the distance between himself and his mother, how his sister could never understand him, how his little brother eventually grew tired of him, how his littlest brother replaced him, how his father erased the reason for his own existence. you can't touch a ghost. a few wisps of fire flicker around dabi's fingertips as he stares unblinking at endeavor through hooded eyes. in a way, he survives through the other man. without him, there's no purpose in life.]
Ya know why I won't kill ya right now. Much as I'd love to. I got ten years and more to burn into ya.
[despite the reminder and threat, it's endeavor's comment after that visibly bothers dabi. his eyebrow twitches and the tiny blinks of fire on his fingertips actually flare a bit. normally he'd never show these kinds of emotions in a situation like this. always stoic and controlled, hardly ever getting angry or showing irritation beyond a sarcastic comment or walking away with a flipped bird. but right now, he's raw, more open and willing to show what ticks him off and what he ignores. in a way, it's honest communication with the man he swore he'd never speak to with any of this kind of depth again.]
No shit.
[dabi has no argument against that claim. because it's true. he's attached to endeavor no matter what he does. even said so aloud on the television. anyone can see he lives for revenge against this man and will attack over and over to cause him suffering. even if it means burning down all of japan. touya, and dabi, are products of endeavor's ambitions. for all his denial and rejection, it's true. all three of his siblings have in their own ways managed to find some escape from the shackles to their father and are making their own paths out of their pasts. while dabi remains completely entrenched in that very past and is doggedly determined to grasp those chains and haul each and every one of them back into the filth they crawled out of. Enji, Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shouto. They can all join him in hell.]
Nah, this ain't hell. Though I can think of a lotta other shit I'd rather be doin than hangin out here with you "peacefully" yackin.
[jokes on you, endeavor; dabi learned how to slam a stapler into his own back and those other hard to reach areas. he's done this amazing patchwork stitching job himself. keeps his own flesh on by his own hands. he's not someone who allows other people to get close enough to treat his injuries if he's conscious enough to have a say in the matter.
but his silence after that request denotes another thoughtful period. watching him, judging him, weighing his options. it's not the desire to know what it feels like; dabi's 100% sure endeavor, the flame hero, knows exactly what burn scars fucking feel like. it's the request to acknowledge his own ownership of this shitty body dabi runs that finally punches through.]
That's whatcha want, huh...
[he shoves the chair out behind him as he stands up. one callous shrug and the villain's coat sloughs off his shoulders, metal cuffs dragging his sleeves down his arms and off his hands. they hit the ground with two hard 'thuds' amid the crumpling of leather and fabric. one hand hooks under the hem of his dingy old shirt and with a yank up and tilt of his head, dabi wrenches the shirt off and drops it on the ground, baring his entire upper half to the man in front of him. the scars ripping over his shoulder and neck, carving across the top of his collarbones, tearing the swath of his stomach and wrapping around his sides. while he is crass enough to drop his pants, dabi figures that's really not necessary.
he spreads his arms again in an arrogant "bring it" posture.]
Then fuckin look.
no subject
Date: 11/28/21 13:08 (UTC)Enji does let himself laugh, but it comes out condescending even though he doesn't mean for it to. Dabi will never understand how he feels about him--how it feels to have children. They may hate his guts but he'd die for each of them in the blink of an eye. Even Dabi, hence his presence here tonight.]
Every moment with you is a gift. [His tone hasn't shifted, but the corners of his mouth lift up. Enji is poor with expressing himself so the truthful genuine statement comes off as sarcastic and mocking. He can't help that.]
This isn't peaceful. You look like you're constantly trying to convince yourself not to turn us both to ash just to be done with me. Shouto's had that look before, and Natsuo would have done it already if he had the ability. They hate talking to me too, if that helps. [He knows it doesn't.]
[When Dabi agrees to show him, Enji is a little startled and his expression changes instantly. He honestly thought that Dabi would tell him to fuck off and leave it at that, but the young man shrugs off his coat then does away with his shirt like it was nothing to bare himself in front of his father. Enji looks away too late, he's not sure why, maybe out of respect? It feels strange watching Dabi undress, not at all like watching him do the same when Enji announced they could share a bath decades ago.
It's not even just the sight of all the burns that makes his stomach turn the way the pristine image of his dead Touya would turn in it's imaginary grave at the sight of what Enji is seeing now. He didn't expect to have this reaction although he was aware that those burns continued down over his entire body. Even the parts he's not asking to look at.]
Is all of this from that day? Or did it get this bad slowly over time?
[He barely manages to keep the unsteadiness out of his voice as he walks closer to Dabi, first standing behind him because how can he meet his gaze knowing Dabi thinks his fault this happened. Stubbornly, even if he understands his son's perspective, there's no way he can accept the full responsibility of it when this is exactly the thing he had warned him against.
Enji, with unexpected gentleness, runs backs of his fingers against a patch of skin tentatively before touching with his fingertips along the demarkation of staples separating healthy from damaged skin tissue. It felt fine until he felt what the damaged parts felt like and immediately drew his hand away as he came to stand in front of Dabi instead. It was a wonder he was able to hold the respect of so many people for being "the best" or "the strongest" when the truth was he was really a weak man in so many ways.]
I'm sorry for everything I did to contribute to this--I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to say it. I apologize.
[He looks Dabi in the eyes for a moment to express his sincerity then down past his neck where there's more burns than skin.]
no subject
Date: 11/28/21 17:25 (UTC)yeah, he's full of bullshit. maybe endeavor can take some heart in that, knowing he's probably not as bad as dabi would love to make him out to be. after all, no matter what the villain says or what crap endeavor has in his life, the man is still a hero and there are many, many lives who were protected by him.
the condescending laugh doesn't do anything for him but back up his irritation and dabi's expression flattens at the sarcastic platitude. ironically, it sounds exactly like something he'd have said himself if he got the chance to zing endeavor with it.]
Ya got a funny fuckin way of showin that.
[back at you, old man. he's the gift that keeps on giving. mentioning his brothers earns a snarling scoff and dabi flips the hero off. it goes without saying he wants to light them both up right now, but is obviously struggling to curb his violent instincts. so instead he focuses on the other part of that comment.]
Natsuo ain't got the guts to kill ya even if he had the strength to. He'd use it to run away cause he can't stand difficulties.
[endeavor may bear the brunt of dabi's seething rage, but the eldest todoroki offspring has plenty of toxin towards the others in his family. even natsuo, the one touya was closest to, the one he'd cried on his shoulder for so many nights, ultimately burned his bridge to his older brother as well and earned his hatred and derision in exchange.
he would've loved to have been there and seen the looks on the rest of endeavor's family's faces when they saw his little reveal all on the news. what would they look like when he bared himself, showing the ugly scars all over his body, his ruined face and figure, admitting to all the blood on his hands without a shred of remorse... they'd have far more expressive faces than endeavor viewing him now, but dabi knows well enough to read under the older hero's visage. he saw his horror and shock on the battlefield. endeavor's too strong to be affected like that twice. so instead he gets to watch his father take in the sheer expanse of his son's damaged state up close.
dabi scoffs when endeavor looks away.]
Prude.
[shame's for the weak. he had to get over it when he realizes going around wrapped in bandages wasn't feasible. and because showing his ruined features to people elicits the intimidation, fear, and disgust he wants others to feel around him. especially because the "how" question always comes up and he gets to response this is the work of heroes. what a great conversation starter! at least he'll spare his father the grimy details of what he had to do to survive for all those years out on the streets. that pure-faced little boy looking out of the black frame atop the shrine is nothing but a ghost.]
A lot of it's from that day. Now I'm losin real estate when I overuse my Quirk. [he brings his hand in front of his body and gestures to his wrist.] It started here. [and indicates with his finger just below the bend of his joint.] Now it's here. [and touches the seam of staples that now encroaches the heel of his palm and crawls onto the back of his hand. dabi gives a staple on the back of his hand a lazy tap.] Had to redo all of them after the war.
[the combination of the battle against re-destro and his ilk and his close brush to completing his vengeance when the heroes and villains clashed had seen dabi blow past his safety limits without much regard for himself. and he's paid for it with his burn scars stretching into new areas. kind of like those huge deserts in africa, always creeping forward and getting bigger each year.
of course he blames his father for every single moment of his agony. every staple punching through his flesh, every grimace when he has to tug them out, every skin-crawling (semi-literally) sensation when he has to stretch the burnt and healthy flesh to meet each other. all his fault.
this time, dabi doesn't flinch away or snarl at him when endeavor touches his skin. there's a difference between the gentle attempts to rub his head like a father and guilty touching the damage he's inflicted upon him. dabi can deal with the latter. his skin's warm, a bit warmer than "normal" should be simply due to his quirk, but the change in texture between his healthy smooth and scorched wrinkled is telling. it's not a good feeling and dabi snorts in an "thought so" tone when endeavor pulls his hand back.]
Disgustin, huh.
[he looks up to meet the eyes so similar to his own, hating them for staring out at him from the mirror. enji's eyes no matter where he went. now he was in front of him, towering over him like normal, and dabi looks right into those despicable eyes.]
Wow. [an apology. it's almost visible the way he deliberately hardens his heart, throat dipping in a swallow to force every one of his walls into lockdown so those words can't penetrate.] I'm sure ya "sorry" is gonna make all this better.
[giving it a few seconds, he reaches up and nudges the tip of his middle finger between two of the staples rimming the patch of burned flesh under his eye. pushing at and even under the skin.]
Nope. Still fucked up.
[it's one of the reasons he doesn't want to hear it. the hell does he think it's supposed to do? nothing's changed. shouto's still scarred. dabi's a freaking mess. endeavor has his own scar, the rest of the family remains traumatized. "sorry" means absolutely nothing. from any of them.
...murdering endeavor won't make dabi's scars go away either so it's kind of a moot point...]
i fell asleep before i hit post comment lmao
Date: 11/29/21 07:26 (UTC)Hell, at this point, he's sure Dabi might just be allowing him to stick around out of spite. Death would be too easy an escape, and Enji is sure Dabi just needs time to plan how else he can make his father's life miserable before he allows him to leave (via death or otherwise). Or maybe he won't? Enji has no idea when it comes to Dabi. There's nearly no point in trying to predict someone so unpredictable.]
I see.
[Deliberately not addressing the prude comment, his response to Dabi's current skin to scar tissue ratio is non-committal. He cares, but he knows his son will use it against him if he shows just how much he does. Yet Enji never fails to fall into that trap every time he's given the choice to avoid it. That, and his expression gives everything away when he doesn't have his flames hiding his face. The stapled skin is clearly not a permanent solution, and there's nothing that could fix it at this point. Although..]
Maybe if you stopped using your quirk, you could give your body time to heal.
[Just like a quirk that could send people back in time, one where skin this damaged could just grow itself back would be equally as broken and game changing. Something like that would be desirable for everyone, not just heroes and villains, but it's not as wild as time-travel. Maybe he can try to look into that while they're on their little...whatever this is.
Enji doesn't think Dabi is disgusting, though. His son is in there after all. Amongst the warped memories, partially valid emotions, and senseless delusions, Touya is in there. Somewhere. He's gone from seeing Dabi as a stranger to something else. Not quite family, though he does feel a paternal need to protect him. It's not as though he really needs it, though, or wants it for that matter.
Maybe that's why he holds Dabi's gaze even as he reaches out to grab his wrist. He wasn't going to do that anymore, but he can't just allow himself to watch his son help the very slow deterioration of what's left of him. Enji holds him by the wrist, squeezing in warning as he draws Dabi's wrist aside and away from his face.]
I know my apologies don't fix anything, but figured you'd be happy to know that I do feel like shit knowing I contributed to any of it. Which is why I don't want to see you hurting yourself.
[Enji slowly releases his hold on Dabi's arm, running his hand up along it to eventually rest on his son's shoulder to show that he's not at all disgusted by touching him.]
happen to all of us~
Date: 11/29/21 14:38 (UTC)that's not far from reality. he could've sicced more nomu on endeavor, could've put out a hit on him for snipers and other villains, could've ended him many times over by now. but dabi doesn't want to kill him like that. it'd be over too quick, wouldn't be repayment enough for what he went through, too easy an out. it wasn't like endeavor killed touya in an instant; he suffered for years, watching everything he cared about go up in smoke. turnabout's fair play, isn't it.]
You'll get a live demonstration sooner or later.
[dabi continues scanning the man's face like a predator hunting. despite endeavor's attempt to remain somewhat impassive while scanning over the damage, those emotions still live in his eyes and the barely perceptive twitches of his brow and mouth. he watches him for those reactions, looking for his disgust, his hatred, his disappointment, even some fucking pity. irritates him that he doesn't find any of those and he's left feeling a bit like hanging from a cliff. grasping it, but without anything to stand on. this isn't how their reunion is supposed to go... where's the insults, screaming, and madness?]
Wow, ya moonlightin as a comedian now? Fuckin hilarious. This [and wobbles his hand back and forth to indicate it.] ain't gonna heal. Scars don't heal.
[he's long since past the wounded stage. save for the times he hurts himself again when opening the floodgates of his quirk. according to twice and toga, there was someone in overhaul's gang that could rewind time like that? hell, overhaul himself could likely "repair" the damage to bodies if he so chose to. but unfortunately, the guy doesn't have his arms anymore. too bad.
dabi tenses when that large hand catches him at the wrist. simple touches are one thing, but being caught like that, even telegraphed and gentle, triggers his intent to recoil. still, a brief tug's all he bothers with before relenting and letting the man hold his wrist. the pain's barely even noticeable now when enji squeezes it and his arm moves when drawn away, revealing a flat expression with a cocked brow.]
Ya better feel like shit.
[it sure as hell makes dabi happy knowing that. even if it's a little conflicted right now due to the nature of whatever they're doing. seeing endeavor break down and metaphorically flog himself over what he did to the point of not being operational is one thing. but this controlled and composed regret without giving up while trying to make amends? no, dabi's mind can't process it as a "success" or "satisfaction" compared to what he'd been after. so he grabs at the scraps he can find and gnaws on them irritably instead. later, he'll figure out another way to wreck him later.]
If ya don't wanna see that, then why dontcha convince all your "friends" to stand down and let us mow 'em over without a fight? We won't have to break a sweat.
[sarcasm in full glory. dabi's lips twitch in uncertainty as endeavor palms up the length of his arm. the touch makes his flesh crawl, both because of the physical feeling and the fact his father's deliberately showing he's not disgusted by it. which clashes with his expectations all over again. and does something shitty with his memories and broken emotions.]
Ya ever bother touchin Shouto's scar like this?
no subject
Date: 11/29/21 22:02 (UTC)I don't want to see it.
[The statement is half dismissive, and half warning. It's one of the things he'd rather work up to. He's still not able to separate the man standing half naked in front of him right now from the round faced child in that picture he stares at at night sometimes when he can't sleep. They're one in the same, and he's failed them both. Dabi making light of Enji's hope that maybe he could heal just underscores how broken he is. How much he broke him--]
Clearly you find some sick pleasure in knowing that I do, so do what you want with it. I don't care. Just don't let me catch you doing anything stupid to hurt yourself while I'm around, or I'll hurt you myself.
[There's little sense in offering violence as a solution to self-harm, but Endeavor was never trained to deal with this kind of thing, and violence is most of what he's good at. He's being baited, though. Dabi doesn't try to hide that he's pushing at Enji's buttons, but he's old and set in his ways, he doesn't know how to just ignore it. That's part of his problem and why change is so hard.]
I don't have any friends, and you know that. [Only co-workers. Well, maybe Hawks on a good day, but somehow only having a single friend is worse than being so socially inept that he chooses not to keep any.
Dabi isn't pulling away from his touch this time, and Enji decides not to back down either. His hand ghosts over the curve of his shoulder, up the side of his son's neck to ultimately rest his hands against his jaw. He can't help but be curious. All they found of Touya on that mountain was a jaw bone. So was the one in there now artificial? Or did it belong to someone else. Maybe the jaw bone on the mountain belonged to someone else entirely, and Touya left burnt but with his skeleton in tact? At some point Enji became lost enough in his thoughts that he thought nothing of how his thumb came to drag over Dabi's upper lip.]
I didn't do that to him. His mother did. [A pause.] But no, I've never had that kind of relationship with him.
no subject
Date: 11/29/21 23:33 (UTC)Might have to fight with ya eyes closed them.
[later on. he's not about to go off on him right now, much as he wants to. there's too much more he could do if he waited. but they're destined to clash regardless. endeavor alone or shouto and the rest of their cursed "family" dragging along for the ride to hell. somewhat lucky for him, however, is dabi really had to overuse his quirk for a good while to reach the point of burning himself bad enough the scarring began to consume more of his skin. if endeavor has a hard time comparing the two images of his son, well... that's what you get when one of them burns alive to death and vanishes into the muck for years. he didn't get to grow up all prim and properly abused like his beloved replacement.]
That's how revenge works, Endeavor. [the latter threat earns one brow diving up into his spiky bangs and dabi eyes him curiously.] Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do? Burn me?
[while he's certainly turned to drugs, drink, violence, and sex to curb the pain and survive in the harsh landscape of the underworld, dabi's never been one for cutting or abusing himself like that. could argue about all those piercings, but you know, they're a bit more functional more than decorative. the idea of endeavor voluntarily hurting him if dabi hurts himself is all sort of ironic and hypocritical and it's fascinating in a vindictive way. but... not sure he wants to give him the pleasure of it.]
Ya like that angry kid on TV. Bitchin about havin no friends when ya know ya not the one who gets to make that call. [friends can and will decide they're someone's friend whether the friend in question wants to accept it or not. shouto's a prime example of that. endeavor sees coworkers, but from what dabi's seen of hawks, there are plenty who view endeavor as a friend and someone to protect.]
Ya know why she did it. Too bad... I'd've burned his entire face off.
[till the whole puppet was a pile of cinders. dabi tilts his head to the side, somewhat wary, but not pulling away so much as simply baring more of his neck and jaw for endeavor to look at and touch. almost like a doctor's inspection. he's very rarely been to a doctor despite his physical state. granted it's not like he's unhealthy? just burned up and living on the streets. he can feel the heat of his father's hand on his skin, leaving lines behind his fingers. as they settle on his jaw, dabi meets endeavor's gaze again, a complete lack of emotion behind his eyes. merely curious. especially when the man's thumb began to wander across his lip. the unburnt one. soft and still "normal" to touch.]
Admirin ya handiwork?
no subject
Date: 11/30/21 00:21 (UTC)I could fight you with my eyes closed and quirkless.
[Talking shit while neither seem to be in a fighting mood is safe since Enji knows he won't have to try to act on it.]
There are other ways to hurt you. [He holds Dabi's gaze directly for some time before glancing down again, always finding something new he didn't notice the first time his eyes raked over his son. There's so much of himself in Dabi, the villain, but so much of Rei in the bits of Touya that are left. Maybe that's part of the reason he seems momentarily fixated on Dabi's mouth as he speaks. Even as the words he says cause Enji's temper to flare.]
Your brother didn't do anything to you. Your fight is with me.
[It's less of Enji encouraging Dabi to pick on someone his own size, and more of a demand to keep his eldest's attention on himself rather than anyone else. That's another thing they have in common. Dabi's desire to keep his father's eyes on him are at least partially subconscious. Enji's are half to protect others, and half selfishness. He'd never admit it, but there's a tiny amount of satisfaction to be gained from being admired, all heroes feel it, but he just doesn't let it distract him from work.
The problem is, Dabi's gaze isn't full of admiration. It's contempt. He'll take the consolation prize of being regarded at all for now.]
No. I hate how much you remind me of your mother. [Rei was warm and caring like Fuyumi most of the time. A reasonably good mother. But there were times when she could be so cold. He's thankful that side of her usually only came out toward him during arguments, or hushed conversations when she'd be fed up with him. Literal fire and ice. When they were both good, the chemistry was intense, the rest of the time was a disaster.
Those lips were just like hers. The lower one would be too, he remembers, if Dabi hadn't been burned so badly. The pad of Enji's thumb rests on the scar tissue where his lower lip would have been a bit more plush, but he doesn't mind the way it looks or feels now. Dabi's not his wife, after all, none of that should matter to him. ]
But you're not wrong. You are my handiwork.
no subject
Date: 11/30/21 00:51 (UTC)I've heard dogs bark worse than that.
[physically, he's absolutely no match for endeavor. the man could break his arm over his knee if he wanted. hell, break anything. from what he's seen, dabi's divided on battling his father. on the one hand, he wouldn't be surprised if the man's guilt and shock prevent him from lifting a hand towards him. on the other, he's seen him come back from unconsciousness to knock out their giant freak of an ally, and knows shouto won't let endeavor cower away in pathetic wallowing. thinking to himself and rifling through his own feelings, dabi knows he'd prefer it if endeavor fought him. there's no way he can overpower and destroy the man definitively if he won't fight for his life. surpassing someone who won't fight is impossible.
of course, dabi doesn't seem to mind the verbal jousting as his father deals with the scars all over his body. he's obviously seen them in his video, but guess nothing can compare to seeing them and touching them up close.]
Bullshit. [that comment earns a bit more snap in his response. other ways to hurt him. fuck off.] I'm always hurting. [between his memories and feelings and the scorching burns all over his body, dabi lives in pain, though he can mostly ignore it after all these years. dismissive as he is of that threat, there's a focus in his eyes that says he's actually paying attention to it. the way endeavor's holding his eyes is annoying. other ways of hurting him. well if they manage to stop him and then lock him away in prison for the rest of his life, he'd be fucking livid and raging mad in the dark. that's something... stealing his chance for revenge would also drive him into a fury. but pain?
dabi cracks a grin when enji's temper flickers up again. ooo, a sensitive spot.]
He replaced me. I tried to kill him once; I'll do it again.
[and in a way, take back the meaning of his own existence. even if it means nothing more than a metaphorical victory, since his purpose is completely different now. also slaughtering shouto would devastate endeavor even more and truly force the man's attention to focus entirely on him. but dabi has his own hatred towards his youngest brother, rooted deep in his jealousy, rage, and confusion over his brother's perfection in the eyes of their father. because of him, touya ended up alone. shouto's nothing more than a means to an end for both of them, and he has no intention of letting the hero win that tug of war between them.]
That makes two of us. [spitting the notion of endeavor's wife out of his mouth in anger. dabi lifts his arms, looking at his hands and skin in disgust.] Bitch gave me this weak body. I get to cook myself alive because of her.
[on top of giving him flesh incompatible with his father's ferocious quirk, she also birthed touya too early. smaller than his siblings, not as quick to develop, never getting the musculature and size natsuo and shouto inherited from enji. another point of utter contempt and jealousy dabi harbors towards the three of them. the only thing his mother gave him was the ability to stand out in the cold and mock everyone else shivering around him, then pointedly refuse to use his fire to warm them up. (yeah, he can be a real asshole to the other league members.)
his eyes narrow as the man's thumb captures his lower lip, purple flesh feeling less pliable than his upper rim. scarred and tougher, the faintest gleam of light catching on the staples piercing through his lower lip. never quite sure if that's keeping his lip together or simply there because dabi wanted the look. the way endeavor's touching him is bringing some other thoughts to mind, and the moment they arrive, he's both completely repulsed and disturbingly intrigued. hey, he left his shame in the alley.]
Uh-huh. Still got some more stuff for ya to take responsibility for.
no subject
Date: 11/30/21 01:43 (UTC)Which is why it's so funny (not really) that Dabi is jealous of Shouto. The only thing he has over him is being genetically capable of regulating his temperature one way or the other. He never wanted to be like his father, hated training, only wanted to play with his siblings, and would cry when frustrated. Objectively nothing to be jealous of. Of course now he's doing well, sure, but that's more due to All Might than any fire he could ever spark inside him.]
Don't talk about your mother that way.
[Enji frowned. They were likely on the verge of divorce, but that didn't mean he would let Dabi's disrespect go unchecked.] Your body would be perfectly fine if you weren't so insistent on burning it up from the inside. And you definitely don't get your good looks from me.
[He's not sure how much he can say about what he knows Dabi did to survive. Reading his file before didn't mean anything to him because he was too stupid--too blind-- to see their connection. What did he care if some random evil-doer sold himself on the street to make ends meet? Completely different story if it's his own blood. That's why he hasn't brought it up, and has no intention to either.]
What else are you going to blame on me? I thought for sure you'd be out of things to blame on daddy issues.
[Enji has to force his focus from Dabi's mouth, shaking his head at himself for even verbalizing that connection to Rei out of the blue like that. He's got the sexual appetite of a pinecone most of the time, but a lot of that was due to not having time to entertain stray thoughts like that. Being shacked up with his son for days doesn't seem like it would lend itself for that kind of thinking either, and he doesn't want to give the wrong idea with his actions. No amount of mental gymnastics will make crossing that line acceptable. As a hero or not.]
Are you hungry? I brought some food. [It's not much, but it's a needed distraction.]
no subject
Date: 11/30/21 02:17 (UTC)objectively... except shouto had everything touya wanted: endeavor's attention and support and all the reasons shouto got those things. his quirk, his genes, his looks, his everything endeavor wanted that made him choose shouto over touya to bear his ambitions. shouto stole his life. his training, his time, his improvements, his pride, everything endeavor used to give touya was taken away and given to that little perfect puppet. when the hell did shouto ever crawl into bed and sob over not having a reason to live anymore?] Text
I ain't. I'm talkin bout your wife.
[again, just as he does with the distinction between endeavor, enji, and his father, dabi separates rei, endeavor's wife, and his mother for whenever he needs the more poignant reference. ultimately it means little, but it's just another indication of how much dabi compartmentalizes his relationship with his family. capable of boxing them up and shelving them as necessary, disconnected and uncaring. able to abandon them as much as they abandoned him, until he needed them to use as an attack on someone or proof about why he's doing the things he does. weaponizing his family like so many other things in his life.
why should he respect his parents when they didn't give a shit about him? dabi scowls at the man before uncurling his fingers.] Ya don't remember all that well. I'm weak. I couldn't lift the weights Natsuo could and Shouto's already as tall as me and stronger. I never did get through those obstacle courses under the time limit.
[he certainly got high marks for eagerness and effort, but... well... endeavor saw dabi's labored breathing after an hour and a half of walking. he doesn't do all that well with physical exertion. certainly not a trait he picked up from his hulking father.
as for his looks--] Yeah right, DILF. [and lets that be that.
funnily enough, for all his years on the streets, it wasn't until dabi joined up with the league of villains that he committed any noticeable crimes. petty theft and some muted attacks, but nothing that made any headlines or earned a big rapsheet outside of skeevy shit. he'd been pretty damn elated when snatch mentioned his murders were actually in the papers. it was a crowning moment. finally getting noticed!
the question snaps him out of his thoughts and he blinks. what else can he blame on endeavor?]
A lot. I'll bring 'em up as they come.
[give him time and he'll blame anything he can on his father. even ridiculous things like crimes and other villains. but then it turns into endeavor merely being part of a society that's to blame as a whole rather than simply the man himself. dabi tends to turn endeavor into the proverbial scapegoat.
luckily, enji's sudden change of topic breaks him out of his lurid thoughts and to something more neutral. hunger was, again, nothing dabi wasn't used to by now. the league's low points had them unable to even buy food, much less have the strength enough to steal it and get tangled up with heroes. it'd been one of the hardest things to adjust to as he recovered from what happened at sekoto peak. to go from having ready meals every day to not having meals at all... begging for food had been mortifying, especially since most people ran from his charred face or yelled at him and chased him off. stealing came next, but eventually his rage over the hunger and people's treatment of him led to attacks. fighting for food and surviving like a rat. the league had better food than being out on his own, but still, endeavor offering it abruptly brings back the memories, unbidden, of food in the todoroki estate.]
Yeah. Whaddya bring?
no subject
Date: 11/30/21 11:48 (UTC)Right before bed, the time when all of his poor decisions come back to haunt him.]
I hate to ruin your fun, but you do know how children are made, right?
[Enji knows Dabi knows, he's just being a dick because he can get away with it at the moment. They've got a mutual interest in not being detected. He doesn't know how to compartmentalize his emotional baggage the way Dabi can, but most of the time he can put things on the back burner to focus on something else--namely, work. Right now he has no such distraction, just Dabi's attention and scrutiny. It's only a matter of time before he fucks things up royally, so what difference does it make if he acts like he already has.]
Don't be close-minded. You don't have to be physically strong to be powerful. [Though, it really does help.] You're not weak, you have too many of my qualities to ever be. And look how powerful your quirk is. [Having abs or massive biceps didn't matter at the end of the day. He's about to point out how different things are now compared to when he was a baby, but holds back at that last comment. It may come off as condescending.
What's a DILF?
[There are times like this where his age shows. His age and lack of social awareness. Enji's entire world is work, and when he often ditches interviews in favor of more work, or avoids people because he doesn't need friends, it means he doesn't get out much. Despite knowing so much about how to do his job he doesn't know much else about "normal" things. Shouto has the same problem but at least he has a tight circle of friends now so he won't end up as bad as Enji.]
I'll be your punching bag until you get bored of it. [It's not a joke, just the truth. There has to be a point where it ends, right? He returns to his duffle bag, pushing aside very few clothing items to take out a couple jumbo packages of instant ramen. Enji sets those aside to get to two small boxes on the bottom.]
It's bento. From Fuyumi. Before you complain, she didn't know I was leaving. She drops them off every day, or has someone else do it if she doesn't have time. You can have the fresher one. [He hands one off to Dabi, inside should be a good mix of assorted food, the lower layer is rice with two additional layers on top. Definitely too much food for a child, and possibly for most adults, but Enji usually has an appetite.]
lol "what's a dilf" - make his night
Date: 11/30/21 15:57 (UTC)Yeah. Money and ambition.
[don't spoil his fun with your sarcastic logic, endeavor. he hates to admit there's a smirk playing on the corner of his mouth simply because his father's bantering with him and it's got traces of hilarity in the entire experience. long-since given up on earning his father's love and affection, he's settled for demanding his attention and hatred. this is a semblance of the latter and dabi's kind of fine with that for now. it's the first time he's actually had some decent conversation with the man, even if they are taking potshots at each other like a bickering divorced couple stuck in the same house. funny.]
Easy for you to say; some fuckin pint-sized geezer didn't knock ya out with a single kick.
[so he might be harboring some petulant resentment towards his own poor performance during the break in. fessing up to twice about his lack of strength during the assault on the kids' training camp was also irritating, though his wry self-depreciation stated it more as accepted fact. it's not just his fire that burns up dabi's body; he doesn't give himself much credit at times either, still thinking of himself as a failure who could never match up. it's that inferiority complex that adds more fuel to his flames.]
I know. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house.
[apart from his quirk training, initially with endeavor and then stubbornly on his own, he also learned a lot at school, made good grades, and got some pretty nice insight skills he could make use of later out on the streets. that was one benefit that set him apart from other villains, since he had quite the impressive background as a todoroki child. not that any of them knew till way later.
the question, however, earns a blink of surprise, followed by a "pfft" and a laugh. oh fuck, make his night why dontcha, old man? with his bodily inspection over, dabi heads back to the chair, not bothering to put his clothes back on. why should he? not like he gets cold.]
It's shorthand for "Dad I'd Like to Fuck". Means a hot, older, family man ya wanna bone. Pretty sure ya can't see it, but for a guy close to 50, you aged well. Your face still looks like you're in ya thirties, ya got that Greek god body goin on. [dabi taps the side of his own head in indication.] And don't even have a gray hair or wrinkles. Scar's somethin, but guess some people like their perfection marred. [he stretches his arms over his head and kicks his legs back up on the desk.] I've heard some real sleazy plans and thoughts people have about ya on the streets. What they'd do to you if they could ever catch ya and shut your Quirk off.
[way to sound creeper. maybe it's a good or bad thing that the change in topic allows the "punching bag" comment to fall off the proverbial table. dabi instead settles for watching the other man rooting around in his bag. tsk... not like he packed anything for this. just up and left with a few things in his pockets. probably should've planned this out more, but there were only a few hours between the end of the call and meeting endeavor. no time. oh well. they'd figure something out. get food delivered or hole up in a hotel after tonight. this is only a stopgap on the way.]
Bento?
[enji cuts off his initial ire and it fades in exchange for the box offered to him. dabi holds it for a minute, seeming confused or unsure about it. been a long time since he'd ever held his sister's cooking. she'd been learning to do it from their mom and servants before touya died. guess she got better. the first reaction he has is to throw it away and opt to starve... but... he pops the top off and is about to go at it with his fingers out of habit. then notices the chopsticks on the side and... kind of grumpily uses them instead.]
Ya know Fuyumi wants ya back in her life. Fuckin insane...
enji’s instant regret lmao
Date: 11/30/21 22:56 (UTC)It took that and more to make the four of you, but you wouldn’t know. For all I know you’ve burnt off that part of you too.
[If Dabi wants to play this game, he’ll play. His son has no idea the handful he was in school. He’ll be the punching bag that talks back. Although, the comment about Gran Torino is self-deprecating enough that he doesn’t even need to add anything to that. He does feel guilty though. Like maybe it’s his own fault for not taking training Touya seriously. Then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten pushed around by an old man.
Wait, what?! Dad he would like to WHAT? Enji’s brows shoot up in astonishment, disgust, and judgement all at once in an intense change of facial expression that can only be described as a pastor having glimpsed pornography for the first time.]
That’s disgusting. Don’t be crass. We’re related. [As he realizes that the words were part of the definition, he tries to pull himself together but a lingering blush tints his otherwise abrasive features. Disgusting. How was that the first thought in his mind?
Enji pretends to be preoccupied with bento as Dabi goes on to say things he has no interest in hearing. Sure, he’s been on the cover of men’s heath and fitness magazines in very form fitting clothing that revealed more of him than his costume, but he’s never gone back to look at the feedback and commentary. He has assistants that do that for him and they keep that shit to themselves.
He clears his throat loudly, forcing chopsticks at Dabi along with his food to just end that topic immediately. Only Dabi would come up with the most unnerving way to tell Enji he wasn’t bad looking.]
She just wants everyone to be happy. Easiest way to do that is to remove myself from the equation. [He lifts his hands as if to say, there, he’s done it. Then he settles on the floor comfortably to eat.]
he can tell all his loyal interns he learned a new word "somewhere"
Date: 11/30/21 23:28 (UTC)as for twisting a compliment... it's a despicable skill. still, enji's thrown him for a loop once or twice already, so take some pride. dabi's not completely unflappable, much as he'd like to believe himself to be. case in point, that last bit of shade towards his dick sees his lower jaw drop a bit. plus the half-made incredulous grin as he stares at himself in the windows. did the great hero endeavor just drop a grade-school insult at him? he's completely scandalized! and actually entertained for once. wow.]
That your way of askin me to get rid of these too?
[and flicks the hem of his pants. ironically his voice probably has the least amount of venom in it than he's ever talked to endeavor before with. mostly because it'd been truly amusing. and thankfully he has yet to torch his dick off, so at least that's a relief. there have been times he'd wondered...
he craves seeing endeavor brought low in front of him, humiliated and destroyed, but he doesn't want it done to some pathetic, whimpering sobber with no spine. the fire he's getting back for his jabs is heartening while ticking him off simultaneously. like seeing endeavor continued to do heroics even after all he exposed about him. this asshole's still out there flying around in the sun, but that means he gets to smack him down even harder next time.
(fuck that old geezer. dabi's gonna burn his damn feet into blackened nubs if he gets a hold of him.)
oh but you bet your ass he's looking over his shoulder to see his father's reaction to that new lingo on the streets. breaks the villain's face into a wide grin; that is fucking perfect. oh he could've left it at the acronym explanation, but why bother stopping there when he could shovel it on? his turquoise eyes look like two flames flickering with delight in the darkness above his skeleton smile.]
Uh-huh. And I'm dead. [dabi sticks the chopsticks in his mouth and lazily swings his chair around, head following his body after a second like a weird lounge while his tongue plays with the bamboo rods. well well, never thought enji had the capacity to blush. ah should've done that sooner.
someone had to tell the man the truth sooner or later. tabloids have a grand time snapping photographs of that blue-clad ass and then hell if endeavor's ever looked himself up online. wow. luckily he doesn't pursue it. the crass topic has run its course. hm... maybe he should come up with a way to mar natsuo; then all the male todoroki could have some sort of disfigurement due to burns. (yes, those are the kinds of random thoughts he gets.) well, they are talking about his siblings, so...]
What's your wife think about that? I know she left rehab to go see ya.
[about what, he has no idea, but endeavor didn't stay in his fucking hospital bed or give up being a hero, so he's pretty sure she had something to do with the man's refusal to expire.]
before or after he asks about the fan site dedicated to his ass?
Date: 12/1/21 01:13 (UTC)Hitting his wife. Being too rough with Shouto during training. This, whatever this is between himself and Dabi, this will not be one of those things. He’s passed that version of himself and he only just—-
Enji makes the mistake of glancing up when Dabi gestures to the waistband of his pants. His jaw sets immediately and he doesn’t even bother responding to whatever it is his son is on about. Right, he’s dead. That doesn’t work anymore when everyone knows Dabi’s true identity. He hunches over his food, standing abruptly to find a seat elsewhere. It’s far enough from Dabi that he doesn’t have to look right at him, but close enough that they can have a conversation without shouting. They’d probably sleep after this, anyway. Better to carve out their own spaces from now, isn’t it?]
She feels responsible for you being—the way you are now. Says I can’t have a monopoly on blame even though we both know all she did was go along with what I told her.
[He puts more food into his mouth as he considers what he wants to say.]
She’s lived without me this whole time, she’ll be fine. The only reason she came to see me was because of you. [And if there’s more to it, he’s never let himself think any further about it. He’s half mentally prepared for divorce anyway. The kids are old enough not to be troubled by it now.] Why? Did you want to know what she thinks of you now?
before, definitely before. they can warn him.
Date: 12/1/21 02:46 (UTC)abandoning. the phrase you're looking for is "abandoning your child and dismissing him after filling his head with unrealistic expectations and ambitions he couldn't hope to accomplish because his genes got fucked up bad enough you replaced him" or something like that.
dabi finds out he's better off shoving the food into his mouth and not looking at it. throw it down like it's one of those ready-to-eat dinners they stole out of a convenience store. don't think about who made it, don't think about where it came from, don't think about how it tastes similar to his past.
leaving endeavor to sit over on that side of the room, dabi's left thinking over what to do next. it's getting later, edging somewhere between nine and ten at night. the moon's already high and it's black outside, his fire having been put out a while ago and no longer lighting the hill horizon blue. smoke's still covering the air in a massive swath of a plume though. where are they going to sleep? this is a stopover station for the villains so there's probably some cots or bedrolls stashed away in here somewhere. blankets and stuff. maybe a shower and some supplies. honestly dabi's never been here before, so it's going to be a bit of a hunt to find things. he knows what symbol to look for at least?
jarred out of his thoughts, he looks at endeavor in the reflection.]
Yeah? She still agreed to the marriage for money and she didn't fucking run away or call the police or do anything. Cept get hit and cower. She thought I was a chore, kept tellin me to give up and do somethin else, just like you. Betcha she never tried to make Shouto give up...
[and the bitterness rises up again, directed once more towards his little brother who stole everything from him simply by being created.]
Hn, glad I could get the whole damn family together again. [he wanted them to unite in hatred against endeavor, but apparently it went somewhat the opposite way. doesn't know how or why, but that's the feeling he gets looking at endeavor's continued heroics. this day aside.] I know what she thinks of me. I'm the same burden she had to deal with before. Just a lot worse now.
i'm home, no more mobile tags!
Date: 12/1/21 03:51 (UTC)Not knowing what a DILF is was not one of the most pressing matters, but was a fairly clear indication of how out of touch he is with the average person. Dabi is hardly average, though, he reminds himself. What he said earlier lingers in Enji's mind for a while as he eats, not realizing Dabi has a clear view of him in the reflection of the windows. Maybe he'd have tried to mask his expressions or not look so much like he's mulling things over internally. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house. Was that from his refusal to continue training Touya, or because his methods weren't effective? This is the sort of thing he debates with himself when he's not speaking.]
By the time I got to Shouto, she just begged him to do as I said.
[There's some guilt there, sure, but Dabi is right. She did agree, and she never told anyone about their fights. And although the fighting was rarely ever one-sided, he knows better than to even think that made it fair, or less shameful for people to know.]
That's probably what caused her to snap. She couldn't win against me, but Shouto reminded her enough of me and that was a fight she could win. [Or maybe she lost it in the heat of the moment the way Enji does. Maybe being around him so long had Rei taking on his bad habits? He sighs and shakes his head. He's getting ahead of himself, and he should just let things be. She doesn't have to deal with him anymore, so that's already an improvement.]
I think she just didn't know how to help you. Neither did I. You weren't a burden until you grew up, announced yourself on national television, told the world about our personal issues, and decided to fuck up my life.
[He looks up at that point, seeing Dabi's reflection in the mirror and the pointed stare in his own eyes before it softens again into something else. Regret, probably. Can't blame the truth on him, just the fact that it finally leaked.]
I'm done. [Enji announces to no one in particular since Fuyumi isn't around to accept gratitude for the meal. He gets up without saying anything else to have a look around. The place isn't huge, so there's only so many places that some bed rolls might be hiding. He stumbles across the bathroom first, though. Dabi should have some sympathy for his mother, in the end she was just as much a victim to Enji's insufferable grip on the throat of his family.] Do you want to shower or figure out the sleeping situation?
mobile tags are fun as well~
Date: 12/1/21 04:45 (UTC)this? ... no.]
Cept he didn't. I saw him yell at you when you hit her. [after touya came back with his burns, leading endeavor to argue with his wife over him, resulting in the blow, shouto's yells, natsuo and fuyumi cowering in fear elsewhere as touya left the entire lot of them behind.] And he rejected you after you sent his mom away. [a soft chuckle lolls from his mouth.] I never would've rejected you. I would've walked into hell for ya.
[he thinks so little of endeavor's wife, despises his youngest child, all because they removed his father's attention from him. one by never standing up for him, the other by being more desirable. hates them both for those things and the other stains on his life they stand for.]
Dunno. I was dead before she broke. If ya really think she boiled Shouto's face cause she wanted to do it to you but couldn't...
... bfft-! Haha! That's fuckin hilarious! I'd've loved to've seen her throw a teapot at you!
[he didn't get to live with rei and the family while their mother slowly twisted into insanity. hearing endeavor mention it now is a first glimpse, but it's still funny. since he'd never really gotten the chance to talk to shouto about his burn, for obvious villain-related reasons + being dead at the time, he'd been curious about the cause behind it. did some digging to find out why she'd been committed and finally found out, but hearing it more or less confirmed? that's a nice piece of information for him to tuck away for a later date.]
Ya keep sayin ya don't know... ah forget it. We're just goin in circles now. S'no fun.
[he tosses back the last of his bento's top layers, but makes a face at the rice at the bottom. disgusting. dropping the bento onto the counter, he scoots away from it, not about to eat the rest. hates plain rice. not as much as he hates fish, but it's a good second place.]
But don't be too sore about the video. I damned myself in it as well. And at least I outed Hawks alongside ya. So ya didn't have to go to the press all by yourself. I'm sure plenty of other heroes have dirt and crimes they don't want the world knowing either. Should make another one...
[musing to himself, he glances up to catch endeavor looking at him in the reflection. dabi's eyes narrow at the stare and when enji's soften into regret, his only harden into determination. leaving endeavor to go searching, he stays in the chair, lingering in the darkness in thought. no, the place isn't that big, a small complex for the tower's support and some overnight stay. but as enji finds, there is a bathroom with a shower and there's a little bedroom tucked in the back for the worker or guard off shift.
dabi breaks from his thoughts at the question, then stands from the chair.]
There should be an extra area in here... Hang on.
[it takes him a while of searching, using his flames as light. but after a minute, he manages to locate the villains' hidden panel. a quick code entry and a section of the floor loosens before popping up. beneath is another chamber, bathroom, computer room, two beds, and an underground route to vanish from the outpost into the hills. other supplies linger down there, from a few bedding extras to batteries and dried foods. things to help an on-the-move villain lie low for the night, get a quick refresh and restock, then go on their way without being seen.]
We probably don't need to sleep down there. Unless someone shows up tonight.
[and if they have that kind of luck (or misfortune) they should immediately head to a casino to win big.]
until autocorrect pops in
Date: 12/1/21 12:11 (UTC)But the only thing he's gotten from any of this is that Dabi is insane, and reason means fuck all to him. If Touya is in there somewhere he has a hard time seeing it.
Yet, there are moments when he does get that feeling. Or maybe he's projecting his nicest memories of their time together onto his son. How many of them did Dabi actually even remember? But most of the time so far has been like this. Dabi ridiculing him for one thing or another and bringing up his disdain for not only him, but everyone else in the family. Enji sighs.]
Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you also had plans to dragging other people's images through the mud? [He's about to keep fussing about it like the nagging parent he is on the inside when Dabi suggests another round of videos.] No, absolutely not. If you want to make videos, make a damn documentary and stop trying to put people's private lives on display.
[He gets moves closer when Dabi starts to mess with a panel he hadn't noticed before. Apparently it triggers a mechanism that seals off a whole other area of the building, and decides that even if his son is insufferable he does have some redeeming qualities hidden behind all of the crazy.]
But I'm not an idiot, you know. I get it. Heroes are idolized and put on pedestals they don't deserve. We put on masks and dress up so we don't have to deal with our imperfections. It's hypocritical. [He's talking to Dabi as he heads down. The second he sees there's a shower Enji begins to undress, ready to wash away all the bullshit of the day with piping hot water.]
It's not even about the money or the fame for me. [Enji says this part quietly, not sure if Dabi is even listening anymore. Part of him hopes he isn't.] I'm just not good at anything else. [His ego isn't fragile, but he knows himself pretty well. Being a hero is all he has, and if it means living a lie whenever he suits up, he'd have kept doing it because he's good at it and he has nothing else. If he can't fix his own family, at least he can help other people get home safely to theirs.]
I don't mind sleeping down here so you can have your own space.
[He's already shrugged off his coat and his shoes, shirt, and belt are next. Enji throws them all onto one of the small beds that he's unsure he'll fit in comfortably, but he won't complain. Turning on the shower to test the water, it doesn't get as hot as he wants, but that won't be an issue. So used to being home alone, he doesn't think to give any warning before his jeans come down and off. He lingers naked for a moment, waiting to see if the water will heat up further before he gets in. It doesn't, so he'll have to make his own steam.]
autocorrect is evil
Date: 12/1/21 17:37 (UTC)he honestly doesn't think he's that hard to understand, but perhaps someone who's spent so much time in the light and looking away from the darkness behind him simply can't grasp what it means for someone to hate him so much it consumes their reason for existing. or becomes it. might've had a glimpse into that with ending, but dabi's the one who brought it starkly forward.
does it surprise him endeavor can't really handle that reality? not exactly. but it also has an unintended backlash against the villain. eventually attacking someone who's gone numb turns out to be pointless.
so dabi steps back to let him recharge. his tone's quieter, less accusing, but still carries weight to it.]
You still think they should get away with crimes?
[let endeavor think about the "who" that "they" refers to. mostly heroes, yes, but also government officials, wealthy civilians, the people who use the hero society to behave like villains but remain safe from touch because they're good at hiding their sins. dabi's exposed endeavor and hawks and then there's lady nagant to consider.
endeavor can't be stupid enough to think he's the only one who should answer to the darkness in his past. perhaps dabi's appealing to the man's own sense of revenge, angry that he's had to face the light while others he might know get to hide their shame and mistakes. or maybe he's testing the man's damn heroic resolve to do the "right" thing and see villains brought to justice or prevented from harming more people. except now the question is who really is the "villain" in this society...
he leaves his father to think about that question, couched in the threat of another tell-all video. dabi might have focused on endeavor and hawks for their connection to him, but he's certainly not the only villain with a personal vendetta against people. and once one gets out with success, others follow. wouldn't it be best if the heroes came out about their skeletons before some villain does it for them?
because of that, he lapses into silence as they figure out the outpost and its secrets. dabi feels minutely proud of himself for locating and accessing the panel to get the secret area open. wandering around it at least gives them more an idea of what they've got at their disposal.]
So if ya get all that, why haven't ya tried to stop it? Do ya really want heroes like that?
[it follows stain's ideology of wanting only true heroes to be active. dabi's tone suggests he's being sincere for a rare moment to his father. endeavor's seen the darkness in their society and has been forced to confront it. even though he's currently out of action thanks to this agreement with his insane child, dabi can still question the hero's drive and thoughts for the future. it's probably not smart to give him the information, but... what does endeavor want to do? talk about the best way to cook asparagus?]
It ain't about that now.
[and while he would begrudgingly give endeavor the comment about money, he'd instantly lash at him over the man's heroism not being about his own "fame" and reputation. arrogant and self-centered, wanting to be the number one so much he developed and obsession with it to the point of ruining his entire family, of course he wanted that fame and acknowledgement of his strength. he's been humiliated (humbled) enough to recognize the flaws of that goal and dabi's aware of that, but he still doesn't believe it's as sincere as it is. thinks it's just endeavor trying to crawl out of his disastrous position right now and he'll return to "normal" later to reclaim what he's always longed for. but that's for dabi's thoughts.
which are somewhat distracted as he watches endeavor start to strip. shame? nope. he's standing right and his eyes follow coat, shirt, etc as they get removed. look, after you see spinner take a shower, this is nothing.]
Huh, really. So who put together ya agency? Hire someone to do that?
[he never got around to burning that place down. it's on the list, but it's not a priority at the moment. hopefully it'll be collateral damage in the war. dabi scoffs at the notion of sleeping down there before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his shoulder to the wall, one ankle crossed over the other.]
I'll think about it.
[it's safer to sleep down here in the bunker in case something happens. sleeping up there is asking for trouble. though they are far away and this place is semi-abandoned, the fact there's a dead woman and a park on blue fire a few miles away is likely going to get a search party fanning out to look for him. there's little doubt someone's going to remember this outpost and at least come for a check.
one, unfortunately the hot water is zilch. dabi won't care but endeavor'll have to contend with it. two, he's abruptly looking at the hero stripped right down in front of him. backside of course, but no one's going to say that's not impressive. hmm... should he say the "dilf" comment again? nah, he's antagonized endeavor enough, to the point it's really not doing shit to him. so he opts to stay where he is and watch like he doesn't care at all.]
... what's Natsuo think of me?
no subject
Date: 12/1/21 20:13 (UTC)In the meanwhile, though, he can reason with him. Honestly. He'll say shit that he'd never repeat to anyone else. It's hard to say if Dabi will even believe him, so it matters less if he lies or not. The truth is just easier.]
No. I don't think anyone should get away with crimes. I don't think anyone is above the law. No matter how much fame or money someone has, they should pay for their crimes like everyone else.
[Which is easy enough to say. There's no one alive that doesn't think that Stain wanting just the pure of heart and karma to be the one's parading around as heroes. That'd be ideal, but this is not fantasy it's real life.]
But the fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, heroes are people, and they make mistakes. Some bigger than others. And they can be motivated by money, greed, popularity...competition.. [Yeah, that last one is all him. The popularity wasn't what he was after ever. Just the number one spot. He wanted to be "the best" and that started with being the number one hero in the country, surpassing All Might. Blah, blah, blah. Those goals feel so far from him now that he's come to terms with what's actually important.]
Something like that is too much for one man to stop. I know a hero isn't supposed to think that way, but you already know I'm a fraud. I'm just an idiot who wanted to become stronger than All-Might.
[Now he was unequivocally a great hero and Enji could never be like that. He isn't wired for it. Bakugo may have similar problems if his focus remains on Midoriya rather than self-improvement, but that's neither here nor there.
I put my agency together out of necessity. If I went anywhere else, I'd be contractually obligated to do ridiculous interviews, give press releases, do fan events--stuff that's a waste of time. [Still naked and waiting on the shower to warm up (it's not warming up), he turns to face Dabi for a moment, shaking his head.] It was a selfish way to put my money into something that would benefit me. You're not all wrong about me, I don't deserve most of what I have, but that's the way the world works.
[If he's aware he's being watched when he turns back around he doesn't show it. The mention of Natsuo seemed like as good a time as any to bring out his flames, so that when he stepped under the cold water steam quickly filled up the bathroom and poured out of the open door that he'd keep talking to Dabi through.]
I think he understands you the most out of everyone, but he feels bad that he couldn't help you too. Not as much as he blames me for all of it happening in the first place, but he hates me enough to think the video you released wasn't such a bad thing to happen to me.
[A lot of that is speculation on his part. The times they've actually had an honest conversation could be counted twice over on a single hand. Once his fire is out the steam lingers only for a moment until it's just cold water again. Enji has a battle within himself about whether or not to swallow his pride and ask Dabi to come over and act as a space heater since he's dry and can maintain fire. On the other hand he can suffer through a cold shower. It would be good for him...yet...the last time he had one had been in his expensive bathroom with perfectly temperature controlled water. Fuck it.]
Can you come in here a second?
no subject
Date: 12/2/21 00:56 (UTC)what he's getting out of endeavor right now, however, is strange. because between their calmer voices and dabi's less venomous attacks, the start of a somewhat decent? conversation's happening. even if the topic is still damnable for the heroes it references. dabi'd love to be recording this for later, but due to the lack of phones and shit, there's no way. it's for his ears alone...]
Ya know any heroes who should pay for their shit? Asides from you.
[beat that horse enough for the day. and while he could toss hawks onto the block, that answer's obvious, even though dabi only really has one crime on the winged hero, that being twice's murder. since the flaming chicken tricked him with best jeanist. but if he's in the same position as lady nagant, then he's bound to have done some dirty things. has all might? does endeavor even know or as he not been privy (or cared enough) to look into other heroes' wrongdoings?]
Villains are people too. Same motivation. Same "mistakes".
[but society's picky choosy over the who, the why, and the severity. dabi's not an idiot enough to lack understanding of that fact. there are a lot of villains who have done a lot "worse" than the majority of heroes, though that might depends on whose viewpoint was looking. at least the villains are honest about their crimes... some of them. it's all a fucking mess.]
Dunno. Sometimes strength doesn't matter. One man with enough conviction can change the world.
[no disagreement with endeavor putting himself down as fraud and idiot. dabi lets him get away with it without comment, merely tilting his head in silent agreement. moves onto the agency part because he's honestly curious about that. tapping his fingers on his forearm, dabi watches the steam rise up in the shower, momentarily blocking his father's body from view. not like there's a curtain or anything to drag across. it's merely an open cell because why bother having extra accommodations down here?]
Seriously? Oh, cause you'd just be a lackey for the other agency. Ya wanna be ya own boss.
[call the shots, order people around, make sure everything's going the way he wants. that should've been an obvious reason. dabi didn't know much about hero agencies, save for they were as stuck up as the buildings were tall. another symbol of the materialistic hero.]
The way the world works, huh. Pretty sure ya know that's a real shitty excuse. And a shitty way to run the world. Ya really determined to go back to bein a hero? Why dontcha join us and help kick it all over?
[this might be one of the stupidest things he's ever said. it's as dumb, if not dumber, than trying to convert that explosive anger management kid. but hey, this conversation's not harming anyone and endeavor's free to think outside the box down here. not on record or anything. dabi can ask a stupid question or two as well. endeavor's got a somewhat villainous vibe to him already.]
Betcha he doesn't understand me now.
[dabi pushes off the door and waves a booted foot through the steam pouring out the doorway. he even curls his hand around to bat at some of the misty vapors. playing with it momentarily. natsuo was the one he trusted the most, the one he was closest too, but eventually even that crumbled away. watching endeavori's flaming outline through the shower steam is a strange experience. but not at all unappealing. sometimes he's wondered what it'd be like to blast the guy with a firehose. might be something like this?] Text
Not to you, but I'm pretty sure he's pissed as hell for it dragging the rest of them back in the spotlight. Good. They should all get a chance to talk for once.
[even if dabi had to drag them out one by one and kick them into the light to make them open their damn mouths about what happened. shouto's gonna side with endeavor, then he can get the experience too.
he glances up at the fire flickering out and a grin cracks on the corner of his mouth. bets that water's freezing. keeping the fire going can't be that hard, but it's likely not doing much since the water coming in still remains cold. ain't a tub he can fill up and then boil. he drifts off into the steam that's left and after a while, returns when endeavor calls him.
just in his pants, having shed everything else out in the room.]
Can't stand bein an ice cube?
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 03:38 (UTC)Discussing his coworker's dark pasts is not something anywhere on his list.]
First of all, I don't have any friends. I'm not close with anyone, so why would I know if they don't pay their taxes or have children out of wedlock?
[Two very oddly specific examples, but they are more rumor than fact, and to narrow down that search he'd have to have conversations that he doesn't want to have with people he doesn't want to have them with. He truly couldn't care less what fucked up things anyone else got up to in their free time. Maybe they felt the same? There's only one friend that he knows a lot about and he's already been targeted by Dabi. Hawks, short of having the eyes of a homewrecker, was a decent man, and doesn't deserve his son's wrath.
He opens his mouth to say as much but closes it when Dabi just flat out invites him to switch sides. Enji is silent for a while because that's not an easy question to answer, and maybe not just instantly saying no was also not a great look, either. Enji can't picture himself working with any members of the league of villains, and they might laugh at Dabi for suggesting they bring in his old man. Maybe he's just joking about this, too? Enji is thankful for the cold water falling down on him, keeping him awake and rational. In his rationality, he decides not to answer--it needs more thought.]
I don't think anyone truly understands you.
[He doesn't mean it as an insult, but there are very clear undertones of "you're batshit, and no amount of child abuse excuses the amount of insane that you are," and yet the same applies to him. There's no one that understands Enji either. He hardly understands himself most days.]
Natsuo doesn't go out of his way to be understanding. Maybe he'll join your side of the fight more easily than I can.
[And about the ice cube thing? At least Dabi is right on the money and Enji doesn't have to try to explain.]
Just for a little while. I'll return the favor.
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 05:13 (UTC)seeing endeavor's refusal to spill secrets about his coworkers earns an annoyed click from the villain's tongue and a muttered "killjoy" following it.]
Cause ya still work in an office and people are gossips.
[heroes do their damnest to keep their images clean, so obviously someone has to know about the cleanup. he's kind of surprised endeavor doesn't know. the man may be extremely focused on his hero work, but for someone so focused on the top spot, he should have his eyes on the people trying to come up behind him. that or dabi's simply grown to be an almost paranoid-level of cautious about other people.]
Kinda specific examples though... someone came to mind right away, huh.
[he can work with rumors. gotta have some place to start. as for hawks, the man thought he could doublecross dabi and fuck up the league? not exactly the league, but he killed twice. did he have any fucking idea what sort of setback that had been to dabi's plans? hawks betrayed him, lied to him, allied with his father, and tried to ruin their organization, and by proxy the villain's hard work. hawks deserved every second of dabi's flames. and he had a lot of fun turning the winged vermin into a roast chicken. would've had two of them if that damn fool geten hadn't interrupted them...]
Oh? Ya actually thinkin about it? I'm surprised.
[figured endeavor would mock him for even suggesting the man become a villain. but that silence tells him otherwise. while endeavor likely wouldn't commit to the plf's goals and aims, he might assist them if it meant "making amends" with his black sheep son. dabi's not sure that's a very pleasant thought... but he's deluding himself if he thinks the plf would allow him to invite endeavor into their folds after what hawks did and the revelation that endeavor is dabi's father. he'd already been grilled by a few people post-war due to the 'traitor' and whether or not he had anything to do with leaking information to hawks and endeavor due to that relation. pfft, he'd laughed in all their faces. and killed two of them outright for thinking such things.]
Yeah, I've know that for years.
[dabi takes it as an insulting statement of his reality. none of them understood him. his entire family. is it any wonder he skulked off into the darkness and kept himself an enigmatic mess when emerging from them years later? when people understand you, you lose the advantage. far better to remain unknown and unpredictable. unless they start predicting your unpredictability so it ends up moot... already told shouto to his face he was insane and accepted that long ago. you don't burn yourself alive on a mountain and crawl out of the ashes with your brains intact.]
Natsuo's too pathetic to ever be useful. He's a coward who runs when things get too tough for him.
[as he speaks, dabi brazenly steps right into the shower with his father, one corner of his mouth stretching upward at the staples when the cold water splashed over him and didn't seem to bother him at all. a second later, the blue flames licked along his shoulders and down his arms, quickly increasing the heat of the room and the water drooling down his back.]
Sit down.
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