[the thought hasn't been alien to dabi's mind. four kids, four tries, four shots to finally hit the target and get the results he wanted. but those three failures still had some benefit to them, right? couldn't he at least take what was good about them and treasure that? at least make some use of it? no. instead, he focused everything on that "at last" perfect puppet and left the rest of them to rot, ignored and abandoned as unwanted experiments who only knew they were failures he wanted no part in. dabi's had a nightmare before about endeavor not even wanting to cut out the failures' "good parts" (if any) and gruesomely install them into shouto's body like some disgusting chimera made up of the salvaged pieces from the three sacrificial predecessors incorporated into one perfect body. that'd been a fun night.]
Yeah. Money and ambition.
[don't spoil his fun with your sarcastic logic, endeavor. he hates to admit there's a smirk playing on the corner of his mouth simply because his father's bantering with him and it's got traces of hilarity in the entire experience. long-since given up on earning his father's love and affection, he's settled for demanding his attention and hatred. this is a semblance of the latter and dabi's kind of fine with that for now. it's the first time he's actually had some decent conversation with the man, even if they are taking potshots at each other like a bickering divorced couple stuck in the same house. funny.]
Easy for you to say; some fuckin pint-sized geezer didn't knock ya out with a single kick.
[so he might be harboring some petulant resentment towards his own poor performance during the break in. fessing up to twice about his lack of strength during the assault on the kids' training camp was also irritating, though his wry self-depreciation stated it more as accepted fact. it's not just his fire that burns up dabi's body; he doesn't give himself much credit at times either, still thinking of himself as a failure who could never match up. it's that inferiority complex that adds more fuel to his flames.]
I know. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house.
[apart from his quirk training, initially with endeavor and then stubbornly on his own, he also learned a lot at school, made good grades, and got some pretty nice insight skills he could make use of later out on the streets. that was one benefit that set him apart from other villains, since he had quite the impressive background as a todoroki child. not that any of them knew till way later.
the question, however, earns a blink of surprise, followed by a "pfft" and a laugh. oh fuck, make his night why dontcha, old man? with his bodily inspection over, dabi heads back to the chair, not bothering to put his clothes back on. why should he? not like he gets cold.]
It's shorthand for "Dad I'd Like to Fuck". Means a hot, older, family man ya wanna bone. Pretty sure ya can't see it, but for a guy close to 50, you aged well. Your face still looks like you're in ya thirties, ya got that Greek god body goin on. [dabi taps the side of his own head in indication.] And don't even have a gray hair or wrinkles. Scar's somethin, but guess some people like their perfection marred. [he stretches his arms over his head and kicks his legs back up on the desk.] I've heard some real sleazy plans and thoughts people have about ya on the streets. What they'd do to you if they could ever catch ya and shut your Quirk off.
[way to sound creeper. maybe it's a good or bad thing that the change in topic allows the "punching bag" comment to fall off the proverbial table. dabi instead settles for watching the other man rooting around in his bag. tsk... not like he packed anything for this. just up and left with a few things in his pockets. probably should've planned this out more, but there were only a few hours between the end of the call and meeting endeavor. no time. oh well. they'd figure something out. get food delivered or hole up in a hotel after tonight. this is only a stopgap on the way.]
Bento?
[enji cuts off his initial ire and it fades in exchange for the box offered to him. dabi holds it for a minute, seeming confused or unsure about it. been a long time since he'd ever held his sister's cooking. she'd been learning to do it from their mom and servants before touya died. guess she got better. the first reaction he has is to throw it away and opt to starve... but... he pops the top off and is about to go at it with his fingers out of habit. then notices the chopsticks on the side and... kind of grumpily uses them instead.]
Ya know Fuyumi wants ya back in her life. Fuckin insane...
[Clearly Dabi also inherited Enji’s capacity to be a smartass. A habit he forced himself to break some time ago. It wasn’t becoming for a hero, they told him. He’s still on the fence about whether or not he agrees, but if that explosion child can make it then he’ll be validated. How does trying to pay Dabi a compliment turn into roasting his father and his parenting skills? Or lack thereof, in this case, he supposes.]
It took that and more to make the four of you, but you wouldn’t know. For all I know you’ve burnt off that part of you too.
[If Dabi wants to play this game, he’ll play. His son has no idea the handful he was in school. He’ll be the punching bag that talks back. Although, the comment about Gran Torino is self-deprecating enough that he doesn’t even need to add anything to that. He does feel guilty though. Like maybe it’s his own fault for not taking training Touya seriously. Then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten pushed around by an old man.
Wait, what?! Dad he would like to WHAT? Enji’s brows shoot up in astonishment, disgust, and judgement all at once in an intense change of facial expression that can only be described as a pastor having glimpsed pornography for the first time.]
That’s disgusting. Don’t be crass. We’re related. [As he realizes that the words were part of the definition, he tries to pull himself together but a lingering blush tints his otherwise abrasive features. Disgusting. How was that the first thought in his mind?
Enji pretends to be preoccupied with bento as Dabi goes on to say things he has no interest in hearing. Sure, he’s been on the cover of men’s heath and fitness magazines in very form fitting clothing that revealed more of him than his costume, but he’s never gone back to look at the feedback and commentary. He has assistants that do that for him and they keep that shit to themselves.
He clears his throat loudly, forcing chopsticks at Dabi along with his food to just end that topic immediately. Only Dabi would come up with the most unnerving way to tell Enji he wasn’t bad looking.]
She just wants everyone to be happy. Easiest way to do that is to remove myself from the equation. [He lifts his hands as if to say, there, he’s done it. Then he settles on the floor comfortably to eat.]
[inherited it, but didn't learn to make good use of it until after he died. touya could be an arrogant or angry brat, but not much of a sarcastic one. latent smartassism came out roaring when dabi was born. along with that venomous tongue of his. if he actually could stand to care, he might be amused to learn of the times endeavor's PR people lectured him about his public image. when he decided to follow their advice and how many times he told them to fuck off. add more ammo to his smoking gun.
as for twisting a compliment... it's a despicable skill. still, enji's thrown him for a loop once or twice already, so take some pride. dabi's not completely unflappable, much as he'd like to believe himself to be. case in point, that last bit of shade towards his dick sees his lower jaw drop a bit. plus the half-made incredulous grin as he stares at himself in the windows. did the great hero endeavor just drop a grade-school insult at him? he's completely scandalized! and actually entertained for once. wow.]
That your way of askin me to get rid of these too?
[and flicks the hem of his pants. ironically his voice probably has the least amount of venom in it than he's ever talked to endeavor before with. mostly because it'd been truly amusing. and thankfully he has yet to torch his dick off, so at least that's a relief. there have been times he'd wondered...
he craves seeing endeavor brought low in front of him, humiliated and destroyed, but he doesn't want it done to some pathetic, whimpering sobber with no spine. the fire he's getting back for his jabs is heartening while ticking him off simultaneously. like seeing endeavor continued to do heroics even after all he exposed about him. this asshole's still out there flying around in the sun, but that means he gets to smack him down even harder next time.
(fuck that old geezer. dabi's gonna burn his damn feet into blackened nubs if he gets a hold of him.)
oh but you bet your ass he's looking over his shoulder to see his father's reaction to that new lingo on the streets. breaks the villain's face into a wide grin; that is fucking perfect. oh he could've left it at the acronym explanation, but why bother stopping there when he could shovel it on? his turquoise eyes look like two flames flickering with delight in the darkness above his skeleton smile.]
Uh-huh. And I'm dead. [dabi sticks the chopsticks in his mouth and lazily swings his chair around, head following his body after a second like a weird lounge while his tongue plays with the bamboo rods. well well, never thought enji had the capacity to blush. ah should've done that sooner.
someone had to tell the man the truth sooner or later. tabloids have a grand time snapping photographs of that blue-clad ass and then hell if endeavor's ever looked himself up online. wow. luckily he doesn't pursue it. the crass topic has run its course. hm... maybe he should come up with a way to mar natsuo; then all the male todoroki could have some sort of disfigurement due to burns. (yes, those are the kinds of random thoughts he gets.) well, they are talking about his siblings, so...]
What's your wife think about that? I know she left rehab to go see ya.
[about what, he has no idea, but endeavor didn't stay in his fucking hospital bed or give up being a hero, so he's pretty sure she had something to do with the man's refusal to expire.]
[He has so many questions that he both doesn’t want to know but can’t help but be curious about. Enji shakes his head, hoping the stray thoughts look at themselves with the same new-found introspection he uses on himself lately and rectify themselves immediately. He knows he’s fucked up before, letting himself get out of hand when he let his emotions burn through him like the fire he has no issues controlling. Except when his emotions do it, he blacks out and comes to after having done something unspeakable.
Hitting his wife. Being too rough with Shouto during training. This, whatever this is between himself and Dabi, this will not be one of those things. He’s passed that version of himself and he only just—-
Enji makes the mistake of glancing up when Dabi gestures to the waistband of his pants. His jaw sets immediately and he doesn’t even bother responding to whatever it is his son is on about. Right, he’s dead. That doesn’t work anymore when everyone knows Dabi’s true identity. He hunches over his food, standing abruptly to find a seat elsewhere. It’s far enough from Dabi that he doesn’t have to look right at him, but close enough that they can have a conversation without shouting. They’d probably sleep after this, anyway. Better to carve out their own spaces from now, isn’t it?]
She feels responsible for you being—the way you are now. Says I can’t have a monopoly on blame even though we both know all she did was go along with what I told her.
[He puts more food into his mouth as he considers what he wants to say.]
She’s lived without me this whole time, she’ll be fine. The only reason she came to see me was because of you. [And if there’s more to it, he’s never let himself think any further about it. He’s half mentally prepared for divorce anyway. The kids are old enough not to be troubled by it now.] Why? Did you want to know what she thinks of you now?
[maybe there's a whole slew of information he can give endeavor the man has no idea about. all that matters if whether he wants to learn about that shit. dabi being the trainer for once could be a heady experience... he lapses into quiet as he munches on the food. even if it's not straight out of the kitchen fresh, the taste of homecooking is unmistakable and the nostalgic reminder simultaneously floods his street-washed palette and turns his stomach over on itself. let endeavor worry about dilf and butt shots. dabi's sitting over here trying not to choke on a piece of cucumber.
abandoning. the phrase you're looking for is "abandoning your child and dismissing him after filling his head with unrealistic expectations and ambitions he couldn't hope to accomplish because his genes got fucked up bad enough you replaced him" or something like that.
dabi finds out he's better off shoving the food into his mouth and not looking at it. throw it down like it's one of those ready-to-eat dinners they stole out of a convenience store. don't think about who made it, don't think about where it came from, don't think about how it tastes similar to his past.
leaving endeavor to sit over on that side of the room, dabi's left thinking over what to do next. it's getting later, edging somewhere between nine and ten at night. the moon's already high and it's black outside, his fire having been put out a while ago and no longer lighting the hill horizon blue. smoke's still covering the air in a massive swath of a plume though. where are they going to sleep? this is a stopover station for the villains so there's probably some cots or bedrolls stashed away in here somewhere. blankets and stuff. maybe a shower and some supplies. honestly dabi's never been here before, so it's going to be a bit of a hunt to find things. he knows what symbol to look for at least?
jarred out of his thoughts, he looks at endeavor in the reflection.]
Yeah? She still agreed to the marriage for money and she didn't fucking run away or call the police or do anything. Cept get hit and cower. She thought I was a chore, kept tellin me to give up and do somethin else, just like you. Betcha she never tried to make Shouto give up...
[and the bitterness rises up again, directed once more towards his little brother who stole everything from him simply by being created.]
Hn, glad I could get the whole damn family together again. [he wanted them to unite in hatred against endeavor, but apparently it went somewhat the opposite way. doesn't know how or why, but that's the feeling he gets looking at endeavor's continued heroics. this day aside.] I know what she thinks of me. I'm the same burden she had to deal with before. Just a lot worse now.
[There's definitely still a lot for Enji to learn as a man, a human being, a father--Particularly that last one. Hero work has taken over the majority of his life, so now that he doesn't have that for the next two weeks, he had zero clue what to do with himself. Without the title of hero, he's just a crappy father, a shit husband, and...a bad person. Maybe he and Dabi aren't as different as he lets himself believe.
Not knowing what a DILF is was not one of the most pressing matters, but was a fairly clear indication of how out of touch he is with the average person. Dabi is hardly average, though, he reminds himself. What he said earlier lingers in Enji's mind for a while as he eats, not realizing Dabi has a clear view of him in the reflection of the windows. Maybe he'd have tried to mask his expressions or not look so much like he's mulling things over internally. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house. Was that from his refusal to continue training Touya, or because his methods weren't effective? This is the sort of thing he debates with himself when he's not speaking.]
By the time I got to Shouto, she just begged him to do as I said.
[There's some guilt there, sure, but Dabi is right. She did agree, and she never told anyone about their fights. And although the fighting was rarely ever one-sided, he knows better than to even think that made it fair, or less shameful for people to know.]
That's probably what caused her to snap. She couldn't win against me, but Shouto reminded her enough of me and that was a fight she could win. [Or maybe she lost it in the heat of the moment the way Enji does. Maybe being around him so long had Rei taking on his bad habits? He sighs and shakes his head. He's getting ahead of himself, and he should just let things be. She doesn't have to deal with him anymore, so that's already an improvement.]
I think she just didn't know how to help you. Neither did I. You weren't a burden until you grew up, announced yourself on national television, told the world about our personal issues, and decided to fuck up my life.
[He looks up at that point, seeing Dabi's reflection in the mirror and the pointed stare in his own eyes before it softens again into something else. Regret, probably. Can't blame the truth on him, just the fact that it finally leaked.]
I'm done. [Enji announces to no one in particular since Fuyumi isn't around to accept gratitude for the meal. He gets up without saying anything else to have a look around. The place isn't huge, so there's only so many places that some bed rolls might be hiding. He stumbles across the bathroom first, though. Dabi should have some sympathy for his mother, in the end she was just as much a victim to Enji's insufferable grip on the throat of his family.] Do you want to shower or figure out the sleeping situation?
[dabi remains silent as he listens to endeavor pondering over his son, his wife, his life. he never intended to be sitting here inadvertently helping the man he hated go through some of the mess in his life. there's no wallowing on endeavor's side, no tears or due penance. only a man who's coming to grips with the shit he's done and... what? trying to make amends, trying to figure out where he went wrong or what he could've done better to attempt at replicating those fixes now? he doesn't know, can't fathom what's going through endeavor's mind. it's not what dabi envisioned when he pondered his revenge. he wanted to see more of those broken faces when endeavor couldn't fight against ending, when dabi revealed himself as touya, when the man lay defeated and shattered in the hospital bed.
this? ... no.]
Cept he didn't. I saw him yell at you when you hit her. [after touya came back with his burns, leading endeavor to argue with his wife over him, resulting in the blow, shouto's yells, natsuo and fuyumi cowering in fear elsewhere as touya left the entire lot of them behind.] And he rejected you after you sent his mom away. [a soft chuckle lolls from his mouth.] I never would've rejected you. I would've walked into hell for ya.
[he thinks so little of endeavor's wife, despises his youngest child, all because they removed his father's attention from him. one by never standing up for him, the other by being more desirable. hates them both for those things and the other stains on his life they stand for.]
Dunno. I was dead before she broke. If ya really think she boiled Shouto's face cause she wanted to do it to you but couldn't...
... bfft-! Haha! That's fuckin hilarious! I'd've loved to've seen her throw a teapot at you!
[he didn't get to live with rei and the family while their mother slowly twisted into insanity. hearing endeavor mention it now is a first glimpse, but it's still funny. since he'd never really gotten the chance to talk to shouto about his burn, for obvious villain-related reasons + being dead at the time, he'd been curious about the cause behind it. did some digging to find out why she'd been committed and finally found out, but hearing it more or less confirmed? that's a nice piece of information for him to tuck away for a later date.]
Ya keep sayin ya don't know... ah forget it. We're just goin in circles now. S'no fun.
[he tosses back the last of his bento's top layers, but makes a face at the rice at the bottom. disgusting. dropping the bento onto the counter, he scoots away from it, not about to eat the rest. hates plain rice. not as much as he hates fish, but it's a good second place.]
But don't be too sore about the video. I damned myself in it as well. And at least I outed Hawks alongside ya. So ya didn't have to go to the press all by yourself. I'm sure plenty of other heroes have dirt and crimes they don't want the world knowing either. Should make another one...
[musing to himself, he glances up to catch endeavor looking at him in the reflection. dabi's eyes narrow at the stare and when enji's soften into regret, his only harden into determination. leaving endeavor to go searching, he stays in the chair, lingering in the darkness in thought. no, the place isn't that big, a small complex for the tower's support and some overnight stay. but as enji finds, there is a bathroom with a shower and there's a little bedroom tucked in the back for the worker or guard off shift.
dabi breaks from his thoughts at the question, then stands from the chair.]
There should be an extra area in here... Hang on.
[it takes him a while of searching, using his flames as light. but after a minute, he manages to locate the villains' hidden panel. a quick code entry and a section of the floor loosens before popping up. beneath is another chamber, bathroom, computer room, two beds, and an underground route to vanish from the outpost into the hills. other supplies linger down there, from a few bedding extras to batteries and dried foods. things to help an on-the-move villain lie low for the night, get a quick refresh and restock, then go on their way without being seen.]
We probably don't need to sleep down there. Unless someone shows up tonight.
[and if they have that kind of luck (or misfortune) they should immediately head to a casino to win big.]
[He'd given up on making amends already. His family was either going to forgive him or not, and whether he begged them to or not, ultimately the decision would be up to them. All he could have done was made improvements and do better, which he was still in the process of when Dabi proposed they up and disappear for a while. This wasn't really meant to be a family bonding trip either, but Enji would be lying if he said he had a good idea of what was going on in the villain's head at any given point. Maybe being around him would help him understand.
But the only thing he's gotten from any of this is that Dabi is insane, and reason means fuck all to him. If Touya is in there somewhere he has a hard time seeing it.
Yet, there are moments when he does get that feeling. Or maybe he's projecting his nicest memories of their time together onto his son. How many of them did Dabi actually even remember? But most of the time so far has been like this. Dabi ridiculing him for one thing or another and bringing up his disdain for not only him, but everyone else in the family. Enji sighs.]
Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you also had plans to dragging other people's images through the mud? [He's about to keep fussing about it like the nagging parent he is on the inside when Dabi suggests another round of videos.] No, absolutely not. If you want to make videos, make a damn documentary and stop trying to put people's private lives on display.
[He gets moves closer when Dabi starts to mess with a panel he hadn't noticed before. Apparently it triggers a mechanism that seals off a whole other area of the building, and decides that even if his son is insufferable he does have some redeeming qualities hidden behind all of the crazy.]
But I'm not an idiot, you know. I get it. Heroes are idolized and put on pedestals they don't deserve. We put on masks and dress up so we don't have to deal with our imperfections. It's hypocritical. [He's talking to Dabi as he heads down. The second he sees there's a shower Enji begins to undress, ready to wash away all the bullshit of the day with piping hot water.]
It's not even about the money or the fame for me. [Enji says this part quietly, not sure if Dabi is even listening anymore. Part of him hopes he isn't.] I'm just not good at anything else. [His ego isn't fragile, but he knows himself pretty well. Being a hero is all he has, and if it means living a lie whenever he suits up, he'd have kept doing it because he's good at it and he has nothing else. If he can't fix his own family, at least he can help other people get home safely to theirs.]
I don't mind sleeping down here so you can have your own space.
[He's already shrugged off his coat and his shoes, shirt, and belt are next. Enji throws them all onto one of the small beds that he's unsure he'll fit in comfortably, but he won't complain. Turning on the shower to test the water, it doesn't get as hot as he wants, but that won't be an issue. So used to being home alone, he doesn't think to give any warning before his jeans come down and off. He lingers naked for a moment, waiting to see if the water will heat up further before he gets in. It doesn't, so he'll have to make his own steam.]
[there's a lot of venting he has built up inside. the pain and hatred. there's no way he's going to be able to blow it all out in a few hours. plans, machinations, dreams, ambitions, things that he's been gunning for years towards and only in the past one has he had the ability to capitalize on other people enough to bring it out into fruition. true, he hadn't hit endeavor hard enough to knock him down for good, hadn't broken him to the point of going up to that proverbial mountain and burning on the pyre dabi's built for him in his mind. but that simply means he's going to get more opportunities to do it later. hurt him, humiliate him, torment him, ruin him, until he's finally sated enough to end him.
he honestly doesn't think he's that hard to understand, but perhaps someone who's spent so much time in the light and looking away from the darkness behind him simply can't grasp what it means for someone to hate him so much it consumes their reason for existing. or becomes it. might've had a glimpse into that with ending, but dabi's the one who brought it starkly forward.
does it surprise him endeavor can't really handle that reality? not exactly. but it also has an unintended backlash against the villain. eventually attacking someone who's gone numb turns out to be pointless.
so dabi steps back to let him recharge. his tone's quieter, less accusing, but still carries weight to it.]
You still think they should get away with crimes?
[let endeavor think about the "who" that "they" refers to. mostly heroes, yes, but also government officials, wealthy civilians, the people who use the hero society to behave like villains but remain safe from touch because they're good at hiding their sins. dabi's exposed endeavor and hawks and then there's lady nagant to consider.
endeavor can't be stupid enough to think he's the only one who should answer to the darkness in his past. perhaps dabi's appealing to the man's own sense of revenge, angry that he's had to face the light while others he might know get to hide their shame and mistakes. or maybe he's testing the man's damn heroic resolve to do the "right" thing and see villains brought to justice or prevented from harming more people. except now the question is who really is the "villain" in this society...
he leaves his father to think about that question, couched in the threat of another tell-all video. dabi might have focused on endeavor and hawks for their connection to him, but he's certainly not the only villain with a personal vendetta against people. and once one gets out with success, others follow. wouldn't it be best if the heroes came out about their skeletons before some villain does it for them?
because of that, he lapses into silence as they figure out the outpost and its secrets. dabi feels minutely proud of himself for locating and accessing the panel to get the secret area open. wandering around it at least gives them more an idea of what they've got at their disposal.]
So if ya get all that, why haven't ya tried to stop it? Do ya really want heroes like that?
[it follows stain's ideology of wanting only true heroes to be active. dabi's tone suggests he's being sincere for a rare moment to his father. endeavor's seen the darkness in their society and has been forced to confront it. even though he's currently out of action thanks to this agreement with his insane child, dabi can still question the hero's drive and thoughts for the future. it's probably not smart to give him the information, but... what does endeavor want to do? talk about the best way to cook asparagus?]
It ain't about that now.
[and while he would begrudgingly give endeavor the comment about money, he'd instantly lash at him over the man's heroism not being about his own "fame" and reputation. arrogant and self-centered, wanting to be the number one so much he developed and obsession with it to the point of ruining his entire family, of course he wanted that fame and acknowledgement of his strength. he's been humiliated (humbled) enough to recognize the flaws of that goal and dabi's aware of that, but he still doesn't believe it's as sincere as it is. thinks it's just endeavor trying to crawl out of his disastrous position right now and he'll return to "normal" later to reclaim what he's always longed for. but that's for dabi's thoughts.
which are somewhat distracted as he watches endeavor start to strip. shame? nope. he's standing right and his eyes follow coat, shirt, etc as they get removed. look, after you see spinner take a shower, this is nothing.]
Huh, really. So who put together ya agency? Hire someone to do that?
[he never got around to burning that place down. it's on the list, but it's not a priority at the moment. hopefully it'll be collateral damage in the war. dabi scoffs at the notion of sleeping down there before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his shoulder to the wall, one ankle crossed over the other.]
I'll think about it.
[it's safer to sleep down here in the bunker in case something happens. sleeping up there is asking for trouble. though they are far away and this place is semi-abandoned, the fact there's a dead woman and a park on blue fire a few miles away is likely going to get a search party fanning out to look for him. there's little doubt someone's going to remember this outpost and at least come for a check.
one, unfortunately the hot water is zilch. dabi won't care but endeavor'll have to contend with it. two, he's abruptly looking at the hero stripped right down in front of him. backside of course, but no one's going to say that's not impressive. hmm... should he say the "dilf" comment again? nah, he's antagonized endeavor enough, to the point it's really not doing shit to him. so he opts to stay where he is and watch like he doesn't care at all.]
[Maybe while they're on this little forced camping trip, he'll find some kind of outlet for Dabi to take all his shit out on. And he's not above that too, it might be therapeutic for the both of them, but Enji will have to do some research first to see what would be safe for them to try, and how, because something tells him that family therapy is not going to materialize in their future without another hostage and Enji's not going to allow that.
In the meanwhile, though, he can reason with him. Honestly. He'll say shit that he'd never repeat to anyone else. It's hard to say if Dabi will even believe him, so it matters less if he lies or not. The truth is just easier.]
No. I don't think anyone should get away with crimes. I don't think anyone is above the law. No matter how much fame or money someone has, they should pay for their crimes like everyone else.
[Which is easy enough to say. There's no one alive that doesn't think that Stain wanting just the pure of heart and karma to be the one's parading around as heroes. That'd be ideal, but this is not fantasy it's real life.]
But the fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, heroes are people, and they make mistakes. Some bigger than others. And they can be motivated by money, greed, popularity...competition.. [Yeah, that last one is all him. The popularity wasn't what he was after ever. Just the number one spot. He wanted to be "the best" and that started with being the number one hero in the country, surpassing All Might. Blah, blah, blah. Those goals feel so far from him now that he's come to terms with what's actually important.]
Something like that is too much for one man to stop. I know a hero isn't supposed to think that way, but you already know I'm a fraud. I'm just an idiot who wanted to become stronger than All-Might.
[Now he was unequivocally a great hero and Enji could never be like that. He isn't wired for it. Bakugo may have similar problems if his focus remains on Midoriya rather than self-improvement, but that's neither here nor there.
I put my agency together out of necessity. If I went anywhere else, I'd be contractually obligated to do ridiculous interviews, give press releases, do fan events--stuff that's a waste of time. [Still naked and waiting on the shower to warm up (it's not warming up), he turns to face Dabi for a moment, shaking his head.] It was a selfish way to put my money into something that would benefit me. You're not all wrong about me, I don't deserve most of what I have, but that's the way the world works.
[If he's aware he's being watched when he turns back around he doesn't show it. The mention of Natsuo seemed like as good a time as any to bring out his flames, so that when he stepped under the cold water steam quickly filled up the bathroom and poured out of the open door that he'd keep talking to Dabi through.]
I think he understands you the most out of everyone, but he feels bad that he couldn't help you too. Not as much as he blames me for all of it happening in the first place, but he hates me enough to think the video you released wasn't such a bad thing to happen to me.
[A lot of that is speculation on his part. The times they've actually had an honest conversation could be counted twice over on a single hand. Once his fire is out the steam lingers only for a moment until it's just cold water again. Enji has a battle within himself about whether or not to swallow his pride and ask Dabi to come over and act as a space heater since he's dry and can maintain fire. On the other hand he can suffer through a cold shower. It would be good for him...yet...the last time he had one had been in his expensive bathroom with perfectly temperature controlled water. Fuck it.]
[if he dares come to him and suggests therapeutic wood carving with chainsaws, he's gonna at least take the chainsaw. and pawn it. fuyumi might be the one wanting to have everyone sit down and talk about forgiveness to be a nice wholesome family again, but she's out of her fucking mind if she thinks that's going to work for a damn moment. dabi's already dismissed her as nuts from how she acted back during touya's childhood. a coward who wants to sweep things under a rug of pleasantries and try to forget the past ever happened. that ain't how the past, or the future, works.
what he's getting out of endeavor right now, however, is strange. because between their calmer voices and dabi's less venomous attacks, the start of a somewhat decent? conversation's happening. even if the topic is still damnable for the heroes it references. dabi'd love to be recording this for later, but due to the lack of phones and shit, there's no way. it's for his ears alone...]
Ya know any heroes who should pay for their shit? Asides from you.
[beat that horse enough for the day. and while he could toss hawks onto the block, that answer's obvious, even though dabi only really has one crime on the winged hero, that being twice's murder. since the flaming chicken tricked him with best jeanist. but if he's in the same position as lady nagant, then he's bound to have done some dirty things. has all might? does endeavor even know or as he not been privy (or cared enough) to look into other heroes' wrongdoings?]
Villains are people too. Same motivation. Same "mistakes".
[but society's picky choosy over the who, the why, and the severity. dabi's not an idiot enough to lack understanding of that fact. there are a lot of villains who have done a lot "worse" than the majority of heroes, though that might depends on whose viewpoint was looking. at least the villains are honest about their crimes... some of them. it's all a fucking mess.]
Dunno. Sometimes strength doesn't matter. One man with enough conviction can change the world.
[no disagreement with endeavor putting himself down as fraud and idiot. dabi lets him get away with it without comment, merely tilting his head in silent agreement. moves onto the agency part because he's honestly curious about that. tapping his fingers on his forearm, dabi watches the steam rise up in the shower, momentarily blocking his father's body from view. not like there's a curtain or anything to drag across. it's merely an open cell because why bother having extra accommodations down here?]
Seriously? Oh, cause you'd just be a lackey for the other agency. Ya wanna be ya own boss.
[call the shots, order people around, make sure everything's going the way he wants. that should've been an obvious reason. dabi didn't know much about hero agencies, save for they were as stuck up as the buildings were tall. another symbol of the materialistic hero.]
The way the world works, huh. Pretty sure ya know that's a real shitty excuse. And a shitty way to run the world. Ya really determined to go back to bein a hero? Why dontcha join us and help kick it all over?
[this might be one of the stupidest things he's ever said. it's as dumb, if not dumber, than trying to convert that explosive anger management kid. but hey, this conversation's not harming anyone and endeavor's free to think outside the box down here. not on record or anything. dabi can ask a stupid question or two as well. endeavor's got a somewhat villainous vibe to him already.]
Betcha he doesn't understand me now.
[dabi pushes off the door and waves a booted foot through the steam pouring out the doorway. he even curls his hand around to bat at some of the misty vapors. playing with it momentarily. natsuo was the one he trusted the most, the one he was closest too, but eventually even that crumbled away. watching endeavori's flaming outline through the shower steam is a strange experience. but not at all unappealing. sometimes he's wondered what it'd be like to blast the guy with a firehose. might be something like this?] Text
Not to you, but I'm pretty sure he's pissed as hell for it dragging the rest of them back in the spotlight. Good. They should all get a chance to talk for once.
[even if dabi had to drag them out one by one and kick them into the light to make them open their damn mouths about what happened. shouto's gonna side with endeavor, then he can get the experience too.
he glances up at the fire flickering out and a grin cracks on the corner of his mouth. bets that water's freezing. keeping the fire going can't be that hard, but it's likely not doing much since the water coming in still remains cold. ain't a tub he can fill up and then boil. he drifts off into the steam that's left and after a while, returns when endeavor calls him.
just in his pants, having shed everything else out in the room.]
[Enji doesn't have a single creative or artistic bone in his body, so therapeutic arts and crafts isn't going to happen for him any time soon. The two of them are not that dissimilar that they wouldn't be able to figure something out. He's not thinking about any particular bonding activities just yet, but considering how complicated things were between them maybe sparring would be a good way to shake out the tension.
Discussing his coworker's dark pasts is not something anywhere on his list.]
First of all, I don't have any friends. I'm not close with anyone, so why would I know if they don't pay their taxes or have children out of wedlock?
[Two very oddly specific examples, but they are more rumor than fact, and to narrow down that search he'd have to have conversations that he doesn't want to have with people he doesn't want to have them with. He truly couldn't care less what fucked up things anyone else got up to in their free time. Maybe they felt the same? There's only one friend that he knows a lot about and he's already been targeted by Dabi. Hawks, short of having the eyes of a homewrecker, was a decent man, and doesn't deserve his son's wrath.
He opens his mouth to say as much but closes it when Dabi just flat out invites him to switch sides. Enji is silent for a while because that's not an easy question to answer, and maybe not just instantly saying no was also not a great look, either. Enji can't picture himself working with any members of the league of villains, and they might laugh at Dabi for suggesting they bring in his old man. Maybe he's just joking about this, too? Enji is thankful for the cold water falling down on him, keeping him awake and rational. In his rationality, he decides not to answer--it needs more thought.]
I don't think anyone truly understands you.
[He doesn't mean it as an insult, but there are very clear undertones of "you're batshit, and no amount of child abuse excuses the amount of insane that you are," and yet the same applies to him. There's no one that understands Enji either. He hardly understands himself most days.]
Natsuo doesn't go out of his way to be understanding. Maybe he'll join your side of the fight more easily than I can.
[And about the ice cube thing? At least Dabi is right on the money and Enji doesn't have to try to explain.]
[there is artistic expression involving throwing paint angrily around a room or breaking paint cans over furniture. modern expressionism they call it? dabi has zero intention of doing anything like that. the closest he might ever get to something along those lines is... fuck... paintballing with live ammo? if only because sparring, despite being on the table, still runs the risk of dabi losing control. not over his flames, but over the internal desire to attack and murder the man he hates.
seeing endeavor's refusal to spill secrets about his coworkers earns an annoyed click from the villain's tongue and a muttered "killjoy" following it.]
Cause ya still work in an office and people are gossips.
[heroes do their damnest to keep their images clean, so obviously someone has to know about the cleanup. he's kind of surprised endeavor doesn't know. the man may be extremely focused on his hero work, but for someone so focused on the top spot, he should have his eyes on the people trying to come up behind him. that or dabi's simply grown to be an almost paranoid-level of cautious about other people.]
Kinda specific examples though... someone came to mind right away, huh.
[he can work with rumors. gotta have some place to start. as for hawks, the man thought he could doublecross dabi and fuck up the league? not exactly the league, but he killed twice. did he have any fucking idea what sort of setback that had been to dabi's plans? hawks betrayed him, lied to him, allied with his father, and tried to ruin their organization, and by proxy the villain's hard work. hawks deserved every second of dabi's flames. and he had a lot of fun turning the winged vermin into a roast chicken. would've had two of them if that damn fool geten hadn't interrupted them...]
Oh? Ya actually thinkin about it? I'm surprised.
[figured endeavor would mock him for even suggesting the man become a villain. but that silence tells him otherwise. while endeavor likely wouldn't commit to the plf's goals and aims, he might assist them if it meant "making amends" with his black sheep son. dabi's not sure that's a very pleasant thought... but he's deluding himself if he thinks the plf would allow him to invite endeavor into their folds after what hawks did and the revelation that endeavor is dabi's father. he'd already been grilled by a few people post-war due to the 'traitor' and whether or not he had anything to do with leaking information to hawks and endeavor due to that relation. pfft, he'd laughed in all their faces. and killed two of them outright for thinking such things.]
Yeah, I've know that for years.
[dabi takes it as an insulting statement of his reality. none of them understood him. his entire family. is it any wonder he skulked off into the darkness and kept himself an enigmatic mess when emerging from them years later? when people understand you, you lose the advantage. far better to remain unknown and unpredictable. unless they start predicting your unpredictability so it ends up moot... already told shouto to his face he was insane and accepted that long ago. you don't burn yourself alive on a mountain and crawl out of the ashes with your brains intact.]
Natsuo's too pathetic to ever be useful. He's a coward who runs when things get too tough for him.
[as he speaks, dabi brazenly steps right into the shower with his father, one corner of his mouth stretching upward at the staples when the cold water splashed over him and didn't seem to bother him at all. a second later, the blue flames licked along his shoulders and down his arms, quickly increasing the heat of the room and the water drooling down his back.]
[Which is all he sees it as. He tunes all of it out to focus most of the time, but Dabi's not wrong. He does know of a few cases of a handful of bad actors, but it isn't his place to shine light on that darkness. Not when he has darkness of his own. Well, maybe not so much now that Dabi dragged it all out into the open.]
So I don't really know for sure, but if you're serious about it, I can give you some leads to follow up on.
[If they're bad enough to warrant investigation, then hopefully it will bring something concrete to light. Enji's concern is less about secrets being spilled, and more on what it would do to the image of heroes. Not personally, he doesn't give a shit about that, but in general. People losing faith in heroes means that society would take another turn where the wicked would outshine the just. He's unsure about this particular path Dabi wants to explore, but he'll at least give him what he knows or more accurately, what he can find out. Dabi would have to figure it out from there.
Enji isn't sure why entertaining the idea of switching sides makes him feel so guilty. He doesn't have allegiance to anyone, and most of his fans only got there via All Might stepping down, or people who don't care who the number one hero is, just that they do their job in keeping the streets safe. Enji has made a name for himself doing that, but also being a main reason for the existence of the villain Dabi. Would anyone even be surprised if he did? Hawks would be disappointed, but everyone who ever thought he wasn't hero material would be validated. ]
I'm not so easily understood, either, it seems. But I want to understand you now, maybe we can figure each other out somehow.
[Enji also won't say anything bad about Natsuo. That's a no-go. Part of him gets a little upset every time Dabi asks about someone else. He understands that he can't just go ask them himself, but does Enji bore him so much that he's only wanting to know his standing with the others. Just as he has that thought, Dabi is trying to step inside the shower with him.
Before he can think to ask him what the hell he's doing, he figures it out.]
I meant you could have warmed the air out there. [He mumbles in forced irritation, but there's clearly gratitude there because he steps a little bit closer to soak up a little bit of the heat from his flames. They just burned much hotter than his own by default. Enji doesn't want to sit down, though, but he keeps his eyes on Dabi as the awkwardness of the situation hits him and his face flushes. At least he can blame that on the sudden change in temperature.
He uses soapy hands to wash himself, turning away when he has to pretend to have some shame for his son's comfort. He's worked hard with training and so his body is in good shape, and he's not ashamed of it. But that doesn't mean that Dabi wants to watch him wash his dick. Enji goes through the washing process pretty fast, he's rushing because Dabi's there with him.
Only once he's done does he finally cave, sitting down under the now warm water to rinse off.]
Your clothes are getting wet. [Well, just his pants. Enji reaches out to undo the front of Dabi's jeans. They'd have to trade off eventually, or maybe not. It isn't like cold water bothers his son. Enji is the only one really enjoying the instant sauna effects of Dabi's flames.]
Harsh. They really letcha be a hero with that attitude?
[it's amusing to see heroes with attitudes like endeavor and that exploding kid. they're so opposite what heroes are expected to be and yet an increasing number of people continue to find them attractive. makes him wonder if at some point, the population might flip over and start regarding the villains as more deserving of attention... since the heroes are corrupt as well.]
Ain't gonna turn that down.
[he sure as hell expects whatever his father gives him to be complete bullshit. but it won't hurt to take it and at least have a look into. who knows, might get lucky or endeavor might make a mistake and slip something useful in there. then again, there's the slight chance the man does want to make things right and rooting out some of the scum in his own ranks could help with that. could be an attempt to regain his own glory and position too... wouldn't put it past him. dabi has all the interest in the image of heroes; any chance of smearing them is one he's at least willing to inspect. dead ends don't bother him as much now. not like he has a time schedule or anything. (well, maybe that damn afo does, but that's not really dabi's problem.) a heroless world would be fun.
as much delight as it'd be to have endeavor switch over to the "bad" side, it'll never happen. the villains are too wary for such a thing and it's more likely that afo would rip out his quirk and shove it into one of those disgusting nomu or another follower. not the kind of end dabi wants for his father. call him selfish, but he cares more about his own desires than what's "best" for all for one and the rest of the world, heroes and villains be damned. but holy shit, what would it be like to watch endeavor clash with shouto? make the two of them fight each other, father and son all over again, but this time the success instead of the failure. can he even make that happen? ... huh.]
I understand all I need to know about ya.
[even if endeavor's the one with the more accurate memories compared to dabi's smokey recollections. it's less understanding his father and more determined to project his thoughts onto him. "dabi" can only function off the man he knows from his past. whatever endeavor's trying to become or however he's trying to change... nu-uh. that's not good. he has to force him back into the state he remembers or corrupt whatever he's attempting into the normal hatred.
hearing him apologize, trying to understand him, wanting to make amends, he can't-- he can't function if that person is the truth. because then it starts to swing endeavor towards a hero again, destroying what dabi's worked so hard to destroy in turn. (but as the man figures, there's only so much dabi can blame on his childhood abuse before he has to be accountable for his own actions. and while he says he's already done that, the video broadcasting to the world the "why" he did what he did clearly shows otherwise.) blame blame blame. so it's safer to talk about other people when endeavor isn't responding like dabi wants.
boring. yeah. like hell does he want this to turn into some mundane soul searching trip with dear old dad. invading the shower seems like another way to throw those logs back on the fire. plus he needs one himself anyways. considering enji's reaction before, coming in here naked probably would've sent him fast walking out the door.]
What's that gonna do if ya dumping freezin water all over ya?
[give him a good place to step out into before he has to get back in. dabi ignores the gruff gratitude in the man's voice and he reaches his arms up to rest his hands on the walls, more or less spreading himself out to catch the water and heat up what splashes over him and goes around him. the steam's quickly pumping through the shower once more as the water spills over dabi's back and shoulders. without endeavor taking a seat, he can't lean over him and just "drool" hot water down onto the man, but that's enji's call. bullshit on blaming the flush on the water.
as endeavor turns away, dabi's presented with his back. he bitterly reminds himself he's more familiar with this side of his father than the front. doesn't stop him from letting his eyes wander. it's a testament there aren't as many, if any, scars on his back as there are on his front. the man never turned his back on his foes. just his family. how's that for being a hero. dabi drops an arm and lazily starts to run a finger over endeavor's back, following the shape of his shoulder blades and down along the contours of his muscles. not even showing the slightest bit of shame for doing so. occasionally heats his finger up, threatening to burn, but backing off before it gets anywhere near dangerous.]
Don't gotta hurry on my account. I ain't rushin ya.
[finally endeavor sits down and dabi takes the opportunity to brace his hands on the way, then leans over him entirely. this lets the water spill off his back, head, and shoulders, running down on the man below him at a far hotter temperature than the shower head's putting out. almost like a filter.]
Ya good at statin the obvious. [though he arches a brow when the hero actively pops the front of his jeans. wasn't expecting that. but he doesn't pull away either, eyes boring into the red-haired head below him.] Take 'em off if ya don't like em...
[Rehashing things with Dabi over and over again is also not what he wants to spend his time doing. Actually, he's not really sure what it is that he wants to focus his time alone with his son on. In an ideal world it would be easier. He'd be a regular father, and his son would not have cracked under the whiplash of having Enji pressure him toward greatness, then tell him he could never achieve it. Apologizing and redeeming himself are also off the table, both of which Dabi has soundly told him to back off of.
So what's he left with?
Getting physically closer, so far, has been the only thing that he'd allow. At first Dabi resisted even that, but it hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet, and it seems like at the very least his son is indifferent towards Enji touching him. That's something. They've also not resorted to literal flame wars, so there's that too.]
Might not have minded the freezing water if it was warmer...[He starts to try to explain his logic there, but there's not much need at this point. Dabi's already in the shower with him and being weird about it now that he's helping would be counterproductive. He decides to just get on with the shower. Enji isn't sure now is the time to say it, but he's thankful for the assist.
While he has his back to his son, he feels the touch and does the very same thing that was done to him earlier--he flinches. It's not that he hates the contact necessarily. It's just unexpected. The only people who touch him at all are villains, and they certainly don't touch him like that. Rei hasn't been within a few feet of him in decades, even when she came to see him in the hospital. So this is different.
Strangely enough, he doesn't mind the heat from Dabi's finger, maybe because he's more familiar with that than the strangeness of something gentle or exploratory.]
Bathing with you was a lot less weird when you were a kid. [He complains, but so far Dabi really hasn't done anything terribly out of line. If anything's troubling Enji, it's having to depend on someone else for something.
Enji isn't thinking about anything in particular when he gets Dabi's pants and underwear down his hips, pulling them off cautiously so he doesn't have fabric catch on the staples. And, he only remembers being curious about what Dabi's body looked like below the waist after he's gotten said pants down off his ankles and tossed them clear of the running water and across the bathroom entirely.]
I don't like any of your clothes. Too many holes.
[This isn't so strange, he thinks. Fathers and sons sharing a public shower isn't a big deal. Why does the air around them feel tense all of a sudden? He could just be projecting, so Enji keeps the conversation as normal as he can even if Dabi's junk is right there in his face.]
Ready to switch? [He's only half rinsed off with soap still visible on half his body because of the haste with which he's looking to not have to be on his knees in front of his first born.]
[ironically it's turning out not to be that much fun for dabi either. he'd had some sick idea in his head about sitting here and regaling endeavor with all his sins and crimes and fuck ups. but when the man arrived, having already accepted his faults for those things and is now looking forward (for the most part) instead of getting dragged backwards and wallowing in his misery, it really took a lot of the wind out of dabi's sails. meaning the villain's left in a similar state as his heroic father: unsure about what to do. he can't bore himself proverbially kicking a corpse for two weeks.
well, guess a distracting shower fiasco is a good enough change of pace to keep them somewhat occupied while the occasional conversation dips around between them. it feels strange to be so close to endeavor without trying to burn him to ash. the last time he was this close without murderous intent was that day back home, when he told his father to come to sekoto to see his new development. the day he died. now?
it's been less than a few hours together and he's standing in the shower with him, letting his father touch him and doing the same in return.]
Ya ain't got that many scars... Lucky you.
[ignoring the comment about the water temperature, he finds interest instead in the man's back and the lack of real blemishes. it says a lot of things. speaks of his power and skill almost immediately, though some people might say it spoke of cowardice and a fear of pain. but it also serves as a glaring reminder that his father's body is built for his quirk, a perfect specimen for the intense power of his flames. sure, he has some limits and a threat of overheating, but it's hardly anything the man has to worry about.
specifically exemplified as he trails his finger along his back. even the heat of his flames, despite him keeping them down from something fatal, isn't going to do anything due to endeavor's resistant to those temperatures. he'd really have to gun the blue flickers on his finger to drag a branding line down his skin. and he's not about to turn into an arc welder right now.
dabi ignores the way endeavor flinches at the initial touch. he'll deal with it. mentally he finds it interesting, though it's bitter due to understanding endeavor's momentary twitch away is due to the man simply not being used to someone touching him like that rather than associating "touch" with "pain" or caution. at least that's his assumption. maybe endeavor does normally associate touch with pain, since most of the people who manage to touch him are villains. the ones that want to hurt him.]
Cause I was a kid.
[though ironically he's probably a much bigger "little shit" now than he was as a child. later years being the exception. dabi sounds amused at endeavor's complaint and makes no effort to stop the touches until the man finally sits beneath him and works on his pants. the metal buckle and leather belt come open easily, buttons on his pants and zipper dragging down to open his fly. a pair of black boxer briefs at least suggest the villain's not running around commando all the time. (occasionally... he's a rebel.) but he notes again how endeavor's careful with his staples.
dabi hikes one leg at the knee to strip the clothing from his ankle and foot, then repeats it with the other to get out of them entirely. it's another view like his arms. the scorched flesh of his legs rakes across the majority of his limbs like ugly stockings of wrinkled purple flesh. staples rimming the middle of his thighs where his skin's demarcation lines wander and another set ringing his ankle just under the bone, though his other leg's been consumed past his heel to the center of his foot. boots can be a pain at times. both ways.
perhaps the one lucky part of his life is that the area between his lower stomach and his upper thighs has remained clear of burns. hips are spared. ergo, he hasn't burned his dick off as endeavor'd griped about earlier. and thankfully that's one area he didn't get the "runt" gene in. his partners never complained. those steely wires of muscle are there as well, defined pelvic V from his life. he might not have a great deal of strength and physical endurance, but at least he's not flabby.]
Sorry. I'll make sure to dumpster dive behind the quality brand stores next time.
[nyeh. have some sarcastic teenager he apparently hasn't outgrown yet. dabi scoffs at the question before dropping his arms and using them to "aim" the streams of water off his fingers and onto endeavor's face and shoulders.]
You still look like someone blasted you with a fucking soap machine.
[but it'll only be a few seconds before dabi lowers his arms to indicate he's done. and be thankful he doesn't just step to the side and let you eat ice, dammit.]
[None of this was what he thought might have happened if he met up with Dabi for a couple weeks. He's sure neither of the two of them could have planned for this part in particular, but here they were. Part of him isn't so surprised, though. Not because any of this is normal for them--obviously not-- it's probably the opposite. The part that's unsurprising is that it would be the one thing where they don't need to communicate that would be a nice respite from being at odds with one another over one thing or another.
So, yeah, it's unusual to be this close to anyone else, doubly so that Dabi is technically his son, but not so weird that he ever considers shutting it down, or walking away.]
Not back there, no, and luck doesn't have anything to do with it.
[And although he has a few at the front, none are as prominent as the one on his face. Can't really complain about that when Dabi's entire body is a literal patchwork of unburnt skin and scar tissue. The same man as a child bares almost no resemblance when Enji tries to place them side by side in his mind. The only thing about Dabi that's exactly the same is the intense aqua of his eyes that mirror his father's. Shouto only got one, but when he looks at Dabi it carries the familiarity of a quick glance into a mirror.
The muscles of his back and shoulders tense and flex in response to the touch of a hot (but not uncomfortably so) fingertip against his skin. He doesn't make any sort of verbal remark about the contact, but drops his head down a little with a soft hum. It's as much of an invitation for Dabi to touch him freely as he's going to give. Probably to anyone, ever, but definitely for the foreseeable future, if not, then just the next couple weeks.]
You're certainly not a child anymore.
[Even if there are moments he has to remind himself of that. Jumping back into the peak of their relationship as father and son wasn't possible for a number of reasons, but he's as careful with Dabi as he would have been with Touya when he was a baby. There are so many habits he needs to break, and it's a little easier to not try to treat him like the insufferable kid he has the clearest memory of when the very representation of his manhood is on display.
If Enji takes a moment to look once Dabi's clothes are out of the way, it's entirely based in curiosity and nothing more. He has to tell himself that when the obvious question of what he's doing looking at his son's dick pops into his head. It's not like the size of him is of any importance to him at all. Obviously it's just a sick curiosity to see if he had Enji's genes there or his mothers. That's all it is, he insists to himself, silently satisfied that at least that part of him filled out well and wasn't lost to his self-destructive fire quirk.]
I'm trying to spare you from having to be in here with me longer than you have to.
[But since Dabi is going to judge him for it the way he's judged his clothing, Enji matches that same sarcastic teenage energy as he gets to his feet, sucks it up and properly washes himself off. He can't leave a job half finished.
Enji feels at least a little more shame than Dabi when his eyes linger over the villain's slim frame from his full height. He's not embarrassed at all to show his own body but, it takes some time until he doesn't feel bad about looking at Dabi. Enji leans back against the tile, trying to move out of the way of the shower so Dabi can wash himself. Unlike his son, he takes up a good amount of space, so he's used to being conscious of it.
Dabi doesn't need Enji to warm his water because of his quirk, but he lingers in the shower with him anyway to watch quietly.]
Make sure you wash properly. [The funny part is, he's not joking.]
[well it is kind of stupid to argue in the middle of a shower while you're helping someone stay warm. and the other ironic part is dabi's tired of yelling at endeavor or beating on him. he's walked a lot today, he's emotionally worn, and he wants to rest. this right now... is a good rest. the shower water feels good, even if it's more the drumming beat of it against his remaining healthy flesh.]
Ya mean ya don't ever get attacked from behind or ya never turn ya back on villains?
[okay so maybe not completely done with picking at him, but the question's not really lancing. endeavor's free to take it that way if he likes, but dabi's mostly curious. he's noticed the lack of any real scars on the hero's body, especially compared to the one on his face. they speak of endeavor's skill and power. though the one ripping half of his visage off dual speaks of his determination to be a hero and, now that it's revealed, the depths of dabi's hatred towards the man.
and no. he has no sympathy for shouto's burn scar or endeavor's. they don't even know the meaning of "scarring" compared to what touya went through. though he's not really one to flaunt his scars for that reason. kind of likes using them to freak, scare, and gross people out. they're sort of an intimidation weapon and they make a great conversation starter. (especially when he blames them on heroes.)
nah, he'll stick to one finger for exploring.]
And yet ya still can't help but occasionally treat me like one.
[no shit, since dabi can act like an immature kid at times. sulking, pouting, having tantrums, getting even, being a pain in the ass for no reason other than he's a walking dickhead. the league puts up with an awful lot from him... endeavor would shake his head. but then there's the current reality, when he's standing over his father with his body bared and his dick in his face. no shame whatsoever.
one, he certainly had gotten endeavor's genes in that department, though he doesn't have that meat-packed buns of steel ass his father sports and the tabloids like to snap pictures of (control your spandex, endeavor). but that might be more lack of nutrition on the streets than lack of genes. two, he's damn glad his dick hasn't burned off. there are multiple reasons he's not even going to think about for why. that said, enji staring right at him and checking him out is one part weird as fuck and one part hilarious. not that dabi was a prude; he never averted his eyes when endeavor stripped down.]
Walked in here on my own, and I'll leave when I feel like it. Ya ain't in control of that.
[though he does "hmph" in annoyance when the man opts to eschew his hands-aimed water flow and instead takes the icy burst in the face to quick wash himself off. tch, see if he ever helps you with that again, arrogant asshole. but he steps to the side and leans against the far wall while endeavor washes.
and this time, he takes the opportunity to take a good look. eyes wandering down his father's neck and chest, that ridiculous breadth of his shoulders and the statue chiselling of muscle that threatened to rival All Might in sheer sculpture alone. it's annoying that the man's a damn specimen of male beauty. aliens should never abduct him for a sample of humanity because they'd be disappointed when they came back for more like him. fuck, you could wash clothes on those abs! he gets a faint memory of playing that pachinko machine, watching the little metal balls bounce down pegs and hills to find paths to the bottom. speaking of... twin cuts grooving his his funnel dabi's eyes lower towards the fantasy of many a villainous female gaze. no, there were one or two instance when he torched some lewd bitch for rambling on about endeavor's dick. the world didn't need trash like that. but... he's getting a full frontal proof of exactly why they talked about him. it's as impressive as the rest of him, and that's probably an understatement.
maybe he's silently grateful he at least got some of his father's genes outside his quirk, and eyes, and skin tone, and hair... well, used to be hair.]
Ya serious? [did he just slip back into "dad" mode at him? dabi gives him a flat look before bluntly walking into the water and letting it splatter all over his face and down his body.] This is washin properly.
[anywhere from breaking into a school to steal showers at their locker rooms, the entire league renting one motel room to shower off, or if those options aren't available, finding fountain, river, lake, something like that to take a dip in. though it's when dabi gets the soap in his hands that he actually pauses and looks a little... not conflicted, but it's rare he gets soap.]
[Of course he gets attacked from behind when he messes up in his assessment of how many opponents he has. Sure, he doesn't make mistakes like that often, especially now that he knows better, but he's human and it happens. He didn't become number two by chance, he had learning experiences (ie: mistakes) that were part of the learning curve.
Besides, he usually had his back to whoever's in need of saving, and it wasn't until recently he's started to wonder if maybe they were also waiting for a chance to stab him in the back.
Steam escapes his nose as he exhales the sigh he was holding on to.]
Then don't act like one.
[Far easier to place all the blame on Dabi that acknowledge that his softness for his son is his very glaring weakness, and treating him like he remembers Touya is so easy it's almost an indulgence worth savoring. How is he meant to treat Dabi like an adult when he never fully got to treat him as a teenager or a young man. He'd missed out on those moments with Touya and perhaps was making up for lost time.
Far too much too late, he thinks. Dabi would probably agree, but he doesn't say the words out loud to confirm it. Instead he dedicates his attention to the body in full view the same way Dabi's eyes examined him for flaws. The difference being Dabi scanning him for scars over otherwise smooth skin is not the same as taking in the patchwork of healthy and damaged skin that's exposed to him in return.
Although, he will admit that Dabi is still nice to look at in spite of that.
Unfortunately he's not the only one to think that. Dabi's slender frame and wickedly charismatic eyes have a power over the women who aren't put off by the track of staples holding the villain together. He has to hear about them when they send him letters belittling him for his past actions while complimenting Dabi in ways he always told his staff he had no inclination to hear about. So they stopped telling him.
He's always just assumed it's that same morbid fascination people have with serial killers, but getting to be up close and looking at him, he understands the appeal. Tall, dark, and handsome to those who weren't towering over him, Dabi would have been far too pretty to be a villain if he hadn't ruined himself with burns. And even the word ruin is debatable here, Enji thinks.]
You won't get clean with water alone. Do you need help?
[Enji is not above bathing his adult son if it ensures that he smells clean while they happen to be cohabitating. It's for his own benefit as well as Dabi's. There's also shampoo and Dabi's hair is probably too long to be fine without it. He squeezes some onto his hands and comes at Dabi without warning, his fingertips gently massaging his scalp as a good amount of lather forms. Even this feels like an indulgence he doesn't deserve to have a second chance at, but he steels his face and his focus, fully prepared to take any protest in stride in the name of hygiene.]
Tilt your head back and close your eyes.
[His voice isn't as stern as before when it's time to rinse. It's almost uncharacteristically gentle. This is how he should have always treated Touya, then maybe they wouldn't be in this position.]
[he does. complete with thinking that steaming snort reminds him of a cartoon bull. and that's one of the few "innocent" childish things the villain's retained. the rest are all matured into some nasty personality traits. to go along well with his new life on the streets. rei would be completely ashamed at seeing what her son's turned into. manners wise. the rest of him's probably evoking both horror and disgust from her, if also a sense of validated relief that her exasperation towards him was well founded.
dabi's used to the blame being placed on him. he wasn't strong enough, he wasn't able enough, he wasn't good enough, all his fault for never being able to stand up to his father's ambitions and reach those lofty heights no matter what he did. he blamed fuyumi for not understanding him, natsuo for not wanting to hear him, enji and his wife for being shitty parents, and shouto simply of existing. but under it all, the notion of "failure" continues to run deep.
seeing some of those scars, not just the one on endeavor's face, is a way of validating his own determined beliefs that his father is not the perfect and lofty goal he wanted to make proud. the man is damaged and vulnerable, can be hurt and ruined. he's not the insurmountable wall he wanted to project himself as. not worth the title of no. 1. not even worth the title of "hero". and watching his eyes rove over himself is therapeutic as well. he's not ashamed of his scars and disheveled body. rather gets a sick enjoyment out of endeavor having to face his own handiwork. in a while, there's a lot of people enji used to know who are going to look like him, courtesy of endeavor's own flames.
oh he's not alien to the idea people find him attractive. perhaps not in the classic "beauty" standards, but the shadowy intrigue and dangerous allure of villainy and stoic callousness ironically draw people. he's used himself to survive and to get what he wanted. some people didn't care what it looked like, so long as it was fuckable. and others he had fun seducing, picking up charm and charisma from hookers and hustlers he watched on the streets. certainly wasn't going to learn those tricks from home sweet home.
some people find his scars freakishly attractive, though there's a lot of miscreants and deviants down here in the underworld. people endeavor wouldn't know shit about. well, minus the one or two dabi deliberately sent his way. ending for one and that ball riding star-what's-his-face. shows their importance to him.
dabi scoffs at the question and lifts his arm to look at it, broken from his thoughts.]
Don't think I forgot how to wash myself, ya know.
[of course, the one gross part of baths and showers is when his skin starts to get soft. particularly around the seams. makes it easier to pull and break, so he has to be careful if he wants to soak. with that in mind, he goes for the soap, stepping out of the spray so he can lather his hands and then start working on his arms. beginning with the demarcation lines and works his way down in quick, practiced motions that suggests he's more military in the shower on average.
only to pause and blink when hands fall on his head. seriously? he's gonna wash his hair? for a second, his eyes blaze up at the man through the dark spikes of his bangs, almost ready to flare up and blast him away from him. but the slight sapphire haze of flames around his shoulders dissipates and he loses the glare, looking away as he silently gives endeavor permission to do what he wants.
the roots are starting to show white again, but that's likely lost in the snowy suds.]
I do it this way.
[maybe he's petulant, maybe he's rebellious, but either way, he tilts his head forward instead and lets the water drag his hair, and the suds, down. those gentle hands in his hair are... irritating. the bring back extremely faint memories of a child he doesn't know anymore, and a parent he can no longer believe even existed.]
[In another effort to dodge the back and forth argument in which there would never be a winner is to drop that one. Dabi is free to think he doesn't act like a child, just like he's free to be completely wrong about his father. Well, maybe not completely. That's besides the point, though.]
Guess I'll take the blame for that too. At least I have a legitimate reason for treating you like one.
[That legitimate reason being that 1) Enji is literally his father 2) It's hard to know how to treat Dabi when Touya was just a child when he lost him. Dabi may not look like a child, and may not even look like the Touya he remembers, but the stuff from back then that he's been missing are things parents didn't tend to do to adult children. Bathing together and hair washing, for example. He doesn't know how to navigate any of this stuff. Maybe he should give up on parenting the way he's given up (at least temporarily) on being a hero.]
I don't think you forgot, I think you just don't do it right habitually.
[Enji is mostly joking, but nagging Dabi is strangely satisfying. Maybe because he knows that it does bother him. He also wondered about how his skin and staples handled extended exposure to water or soap, and he's starting to answer a lot of his own questions purely by observation.
He steps forward when Dabi dips his head for the shampoo run down forward instead of back. Maybe it has to do with the way he styles his hair? Enji doesn't care that much about it, he's solely focused on making sure the shampoo is completely washed out. He wraps an arm around Dabi's waist from behind to make sure he doesn't move away as he takes just a moment to properly wash behind his ears. Enji's open hand covers a large amount of surface area of Dabi's lower abdomen.
If his father's attention is what he wanted this whole time, Enji is sure it won't take much time for Dabi to grow to dislike the attention of his overbearing father as much as his other children do. He's still surprised that Dabi backed down from trying to fight Enji back, and he know he shouldn't ask questions about that or risk those blue flames coming out again. But he's never been able to leave well enough alone.]
As long as we do it your way, you don't care if I help?
[He wants to point out how childish that is to prove his point from before, but he's already risking being shoved away by making that comment at all. So Enji keeps it to himself, just letting out a low chuckle. It must be a dad sense of humor thing because he's also aware that this might not be amusing to anyone else.
At certain moments his skin meets Dabi's and he's able to feel there's a temperature difference between them. Dabi feels cold against him, and so Enji remains wrapped around him from behind. Just being out of direct contact with the cold water has allowed him to heat up again. They both tend to run hot, probably, but maybe Dabi doesn't know he's cold because he's not bothered by it?]
Am I smothering you yet? Or is this what you always wanted?
[Enji's hand slides up Dabi's stomach to one side of his chest, pulling him back and away from the water again. He lets himself have this moment, regardless of what Dabi wants, and rests his face right on top of Dabi's wet hair.]
[he's sometimes wondered if, in his excuse to be a semi-decent parent, endeavor's given fuyumi, natsuo, and shouto unlimited credit cards. it seems likely, considering he can just throw money at his kids to make them go away. well, shouto being the exception. but he's not about to ask, preferring to leave that for stewing on later.
there's a part of him that's amused at endeavor's failure to deal with this new strangeness of showering with him. for dabi's, it's not a problem at all; he's so disassociated from his father the man might as well be a stranger when he needs him to be. years of pretending they weren't related and lying about it whenever the topic came up in his presence has made it second-nature for him to compartmentalize his thoughts and emotions when it comes to his family. unable to forget any of it, though his hatred's transformed all those memories into fuel for his insanity. he's got that going for him.]
How the fuck do you do it "right"? [doesn't stop him from growling at him like a petulant teenager getting told he needs to fix something.] It's washing hair.
[if endeavor's joking, it's still getting a rise out of the eldest from his brood. you put your hand in your hair with soap on it and rub it around back and forth. maybe in circles if you wanna be fancy about that shit. dabi doesn't treat it any differently than shoving his head under a spigot on a hot day.
the soap at least is helping the stapled areas of his skin. he does have to treat them when he has time and supplies to do that; otherwise he'd be walking around with infections all over. it's a price to pay for his chosen method of handling his injuries.
hair styling is part of it? even if that spiky bunch atop his head is mostly natural and only helped with the occasional choppy cut to keep it from getting long. no, he's not gonna say who cuts his hair. the magician. it's when he suddenly gets a meaty arm wrapped around his waist from behind that he tugs his head up, slapping water across enji's face from the sudden pull.]
The fuck-?!
[well he tries to move away? but ends up "oof" against the bar across his stomach and now there's a hand on his head getting behind his ears. dabi makes a face at the wall across from him, feeling very uncomfortably like some damn cat getting groomed or something. if he knew it would actually do something, he'd stomp on his stupid foot. that massive hand over his stomach's good enough to keep him there, abs hardening under his scarred swatch across his belly and the sweep of healthy skin below it.
and now he's starting to remember other reasons why he hated the man. micromanaging perfectionist with an overbearing "my way" attitude on how shit gets done. that question is enough to get another hell's cat glare over his shoulders, this time eyes actually burning and a few whorls of blue flame sparking into existence around his head.]
Ya got your fucking bear paw pinned at my waist and ya gonna talk bout "my" way?
[but it's when the man suddenly pulls back, not hard enough to jerk him, but enough to make him take a step or two backwards. flesh presses up against his back and he tenses, unconsciously rising on his toes as his eyes widen from the sensation. this is definitely not the first male body he's felt against his back and it's not the first time he's been grabbed and held like this either.
but this is endeavor and for all his damn compartmentalization, his brain is racing with a host of warnings and screamings. too close, too controlled, too fast, to angry. slamming that urge into a high gear that's reserved for certain fight or flight situations. enji's hot against his skin, body only good with resisting the cold and now almost sizzling with the heat. (or that's his flames.) smothering him? what he fucking wanted?! he feels his flesh crawl beneath the hero's hand as it wanders up his stomach and cups at his chest, heart slamming beneath his ribs in a manner he can't tell between panic or excitement.
then a face settles right into his hair and something snaps inside him. the tension seems to melt and his expression slides back into the normal stoic expression as his flames vanish with a husk of air. just in time for his fingers to come up and wander across the side of enji's face, almost spider-like as their tips step from the angle of his chin to the span of his cheek and the taut of his temple.]
If ya really wanna smother me, I should be the one against the wall, endeavor.
If you want to collect your missed allowances retroactively, you'll have to talk to the accountant.
[What could have been a joke is said so dismissively that there's hardly any way to think Enji is being anything but genuine. Monetary compensation for the shit Touya had to go through wouldn't have been out of the question if Dabi wasn't one of the most dangerous villains in Japan. So any traceable transfer of funds to Dabi would likely incriminate him.
Enji's not even aware that Dabi isn't being serious, or maybe his response would have been less honest.
He's still conflicted about what the young man is to him.
It's hard to say they're enemies outright. They fall on opposing sides of the morality spectrum (despite Enji's tendency to do terrible things), but Enji has already made up his mind that he won't be fighting Dabi at any point in the future. Not one on one or head to head. He refuses due to the second point. It's hard to say they're family when they haven't been close for decades and even before then when Shouto was being trained they weren't on speaking terms. Well, Touya would speak to Enji and his father would largely ignore him in order to not encourage his training.
So where does not quite enemies, extremely estranged family fall? That's where Dabi is, and Enji supposes he can either try to pinpoint some kind of definition or just allow it to be ambiguous.
The issue with that is there are moments when he knows for a fact that Touya, his Touya, is in there just as he remembers him. He can feel it when his hand is over Dabi's chest and his heartbeat hammers away or when his reaction to Enji being intrusively overbearing is a flare up of his quirk possibly out of reflex. That's undoubtedly his son's temperament. He knows because he's the same way.
But then Dabi also has moments where he locks all of that down and his expression goes blank, his blue eyes cold and distant. In those moments Enji doesn't feel any familiarity, and while it makes touching him easier and less meaningful, he knows the villain isn't really receptive to his input at that point. Nor is he to Dabi's.
The hand that reaches up to slide fingers along Enji's face does cause his hands to freeze for a moment. Not rubbing over the jigsaw puzzle of stapled flesh, but just resting against it instead as he tries to suss out what Dabi's intentions are. Maybe hypocritical when he's pressed right up against him from behind. It's just throwing him for a loop. One moment he's sure Dabi will burn his face off, and the next his face is touched in a way that brings heat rushing to the places those fingers had just been.]
Do you want to be smothered?
[Dabi calls him Endeavor, and something in him crackles like he's just had fresh firewood fed to whatever was burning inside his chest. Dabi doesn't weigh much at all, so shutting off the water to turn them around is just as easy as drawing the younger man up by the backs of his thighs to trap him between himself and the tile. In the moment it's clear as day. Dabi is not his son and Endeavor is not his father.]
What do you really want from me? Why did you bring me here?
[and he's sure the bank would appreciate not being burned down when the cops came to arrest him with a fleet of heroes. sticking his head into any sort of "official" or "legal" shit related to his now-outed todoroki name would be extremely detrimental to his current life decision of hiding out with all for one. this current "current decision" with endeavor aside. it's a fling, an experiment, nothing more. the league and the plf have plenty of funds and supplies. he'll keep those "retroactive" allowances for future use. should something ever come up where the planets align.
the only reason he's not outright abandoning the idea is because endeavor spoke so plainly about it. dabi mistrusts a lot of what the man says, but there are things he'll accept as truth. this being one of them, ironically enough. considering the new leaf endeavor's trying to convince himself he can turn over, dabi's sure his father would give him his inheritance if he asked for it. strings attached, of course.
endeavor may have a hard time deciding what the two of them are to each other, but dabi's mindset is crystal clear on that regard. endeavor is many things to him and he changes the lens as he needs. father, murderer, abuser, false hero, victim, prey, ambition, obsession, enemy. while the flame hero has determined not to fight him, dabi has every intention of forcing the man to raise his fires to him. if that means murdering his youngest child in front of him, then he'll have a fucking blast while doing it. he's agreed to a selfish truce for now, not planning on attacking the man outside of possible training. though even that's somewhat tinted in passive aggressive irony.
touya remains inside him as well, but it's hard to say dabi "switches" to touya instead of donning his name and memory like a mask. unfortunately, he wasn't burned to a complete crisp. patchwork scars cover his healthy flesh and the same goes with his shattered mindset and twisted personality. pieces of touya remain among the blackened parts. he still retains his pride and the todoroki's cool disposition, even his childish excitement (though what excites him now is disturbing) and sarcasm/tantrums make it back. but it's only rarely that touya's emotional side makes its way through dabi's stoic shell, and often that's translated into his violent streak. case in point being the flare of his flames and the brief thought of burning endeavor up to get away.
but nah. he regains control of himself and locks it all back away where it's safe. back to the visage of a villain endeavor never once recognized as his own child until he flat out told him (and even then he refused to believe it for a while). it's easier this way, isn't it? they can both ignore the unknown rawness of what they are to each other and go back to the status quo.
a grin splits the side of his mouth as he feels endeavor freeze under his touch. not a bad reaction, considering he could blast his head. tracing over the connection of his ear and being a shit enough to deliberately curve round to the back of it for a rub or two. ya wash back here yourself, endeavor? up into the spiked up shock of red hair that most of his kids inherited, but only one still retains. hard to miss that crown atop his. hard to miss that body pressed up against his own and he's well aware they're both quite naked and soaking wet. the warmth endeavor exudes is insanely tempting and he leans into it without hesitating. so much definition back there... ridiculous.]
Wouldn't be the first time.
[the water shuts off and in one motion, dabi feels the world spin around him as hands cup around the back of his thighs and hoist up. both eyes widen in surprise, but then quickly narrow as a sneering smile cuts across his face, hooded gaze glowing into the larger man's face as he's trapped between a mountain of muscle and the tile wall.]
Ooo, good start...
[not sure if this is an honest question or some spontaneous role play, he only bothers to tuck his legs back at the knees, hand finding its way entirely into enji's hair.]
Wanted to see if there was a chance we could get close without killin each other for a bit. Kinda surprised, but can't say I don't like it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lol "what's a dilf" - make his night
Date: 11/30/21 15:57 (UTC)Yeah. Money and ambition.
[don't spoil his fun with your sarcastic logic, endeavor. he hates to admit there's a smirk playing on the corner of his mouth simply because his father's bantering with him and it's got traces of hilarity in the entire experience. long-since given up on earning his father's love and affection, he's settled for demanding his attention and hatred. this is a semblance of the latter and dabi's kind of fine with that for now. it's the first time he's actually had some decent conversation with the man, even if they are taking potshots at each other like a bickering divorced couple stuck in the same house. funny.]
Easy for you to say; some fuckin pint-sized geezer didn't knock ya out with a single kick.
[so he might be harboring some petulant resentment towards his own poor performance during the break in. fessing up to twice about his lack of strength during the assault on the kids' training camp was also irritating, though his wry self-depreciation stated it more as accepted fact. it's not just his fire that burns up dabi's body; he doesn't give himself much credit at times either, still thinking of himself as a failure who could never match up. it's that inferiority complex that adds more fuel to his flames.]
I know. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house.
[apart from his quirk training, initially with endeavor and then stubbornly on his own, he also learned a lot at school, made good grades, and got some pretty nice insight skills he could make use of later out on the streets. that was one benefit that set him apart from other villains, since he had quite the impressive background as a todoroki child. not that any of them knew till way later.
the question, however, earns a blink of surprise, followed by a "pfft" and a laugh. oh fuck, make his night why dontcha, old man? with his bodily inspection over, dabi heads back to the chair, not bothering to put his clothes back on. why should he? not like he gets cold.]
It's shorthand for "Dad I'd Like to Fuck". Means a hot, older, family man ya wanna bone. Pretty sure ya can't see it, but for a guy close to 50, you aged well. Your face still looks like you're in ya thirties, ya got that Greek god body goin on. [dabi taps the side of his own head in indication.] And don't even have a gray hair or wrinkles. Scar's somethin, but guess some people like their perfection marred. [he stretches his arms over his head and kicks his legs back up on the desk.] I've heard some real sleazy plans and thoughts people have about ya on the streets. What they'd do to you if they could ever catch ya and shut your Quirk off.
[way to sound creeper. maybe it's a good or bad thing that the change in topic allows the "punching bag" comment to fall off the proverbial table. dabi instead settles for watching the other man rooting around in his bag. tsk... not like he packed anything for this. just up and left with a few things in his pockets. probably should've planned this out more, but there were only a few hours between the end of the call and meeting endeavor. no time. oh well. they'd figure something out. get food delivered or hole up in a hotel after tonight. this is only a stopgap on the way.]
Bento?
[enji cuts off his initial ire and it fades in exchange for the box offered to him. dabi holds it for a minute, seeming confused or unsure about it. been a long time since he'd ever held his sister's cooking. she'd been learning to do it from their mom and servants before touya died. guess she got better. the first reaction he has is to throw it away and opt to starve... but... he pops the top off and is about to go at it with his fingers out of habit. then notices the chopsticks on the side and... kind of grumpily uses them instead.]
Ya know Fuyumi wants ya back in her life. Fuckin insane...
enji’s instant regret lmao
Date: 11/30/21 22:56 (UTC)It took that and more to make the four of you, but you wouldn’t know. For all I know you’ve burnt off that part of you too.
[If Dabi wants to play this game, he’ll play. His son has no idea the handful he was in school. He’ll be the punching bag that talks back. Although, the comment about Gran Torino is self-deprecating enough that he doesn’t even need to add anything to that. He does feel guilty though. Like maybe it’s his own fault for not taking training Touya seriously. Then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten pushed around by an old man.
Wait, what?! Dad he would like to WHAT? Enji’s brows shoot up in astonishment, disgust, and judgement all at once in an intense change of facial expression that can only be described as a pastor having glimpsed pornography for the first time.]
That’s disgusting. Don’t be crass. We’re related. [As he realizes that the words were part of the definition, he tries to pull himself together but a lingering blush tints his otherwise abrasive features. Disgusting. How was that the first thought in his mind?
Enji pretends to be preoccupied with bento as Dabi goes on to say things he has no interest in hearing. Sure, he’s been on the cover of men’s heath and fitness magazines in very form fitting clothing that revealed more of him than his costume, but he’s never gone back to look at the feedback and commentary. He has assistants that do that for him and they keep that shit to themselves.
He clears his throat loudly, forcing chopsticks at Dabi along with his food to just end that topic immediately. Only Dabi would come up with the most unnerving way to tell Enji he wasn’t bad looking.]
She just wants everyone to be happy. Easiest way to do that is to remove myself from the equation. [He lifts his hands as if to say, there, he’s done it. Then he settles on the floor comfortably to eat.]
he can tell all his loyal interns he learned a new word "somewhere"
Date: 11/30/21 23:28 (UTC)as for twisting a compliment... it's a despicable skill. still, enji's thrown him for a loop once or twice already, so take some pride. dabi's not completely unflappable, much as he'd like to believe himself to be. case in point, that last bit of shade towards his dick sees his lower jaw drop a bit. plus the half-made incredulous grin as he stares at himself in the windows. did the great hero endeavor just drop a grade-school insult at him? he's completely scandalized! and actually entertained for once. wow.]
That your way of askin me to get rid of these too?
[and flicks the hem of his pants. ironically his voice probably has the least amount of venom in it than he's ever talked to endeavor before with. mostly because it'd been truly amusing. and thankfully he has yet to torch his dick off, so at least that's a relief. there have been times he'd wondered...
he craves seeing endeavor brought low in front of him, humiliated and destroyed, but he doesn't want it done to some pathetic, whimpering sobber with no spine. the fire he's getting back for his jabs is heartening while ticking him off simultaneously. like seeing endeavor continued to do heroics even after all he exposed about him. this asshole's still out there flying around in the sun, but that means he gets to smack him down even harder next time.
(fuck that old geezer. dabi's gonna burn his damn feet into blackened nubs if he gets a hold of him.)
oh but you bet your ass he's looking over his shoulder to see his father's reaction to that new lingo on the streets. breaks the villain's face into a wide grin; that is fucking perfect. oh he could've left it at the acronym explanation, but why bother stopping there when he could shovel it on? his turquoise eyes look like two flames flickering with delight in the darkness above his skeleton smile.]
Uh-huh. And I'm dead. [dabi sticks the chopsticks in his mouth and lazily swings his chair around, head following his body after a second like a weird lounge while his tongue plays with the bamboo rods. well well, never thought enji had the capacity to blush. ah should've done that sooner.
someone had to tell the man the truth sooner or later. tabloids have a grand time snapping photographs of that blue-clad ass and then hell if endeavor's ever looked himself up online. wow. luckily he doesn't pursue it. the crass topic has run its course. hm... maybe he should come up with a way to mar natsuo; then all the male todoroki could have some sort of disfigurement due to burns. (yes, those are the kinds of random thoughts he gets.) well, they are talking about his siblings, so...]
What's your wife think about that? I know she left rehab to go see ya.
[about what, he has no idea, but endeavor didn't stay in his fucking hospital bed or give up being a hero, so he's pretty sure she had something to do with the man's refusal to expire.]
before or after he asks about the fan site dedicated to his ass?
Date: 12/1/21 01:13 (UTC)Hitting his wife. Being too rough with Shouto during training. This, whatever this is between himself and Dabi, this will not be one of those things. He’s passed that version of himself and he only just—-
Enji makes the mistake of glancing up when Dabi gestures to the waistband of his pants. His jaw sets immediately and he doesn’t even bother responding to whatever it is his son is on about. Right, he’s dead. That doesn’t work anymore when everyone knows Dabi’s true identity. He hunches over his food, standing abruptly to find a seat elsewhere. It’s far enough from Dabi that he doesn’t have to look right at him, but close enough that they can have a conversation without shouting. They’d probably sleep after this, anyway. Better to carve out their own spaces from now, isn’t it?]
She feels responsible for you being—the way you are now. Says I can’t have a monopoly on blame even though we both know all she did was go along with what I told her.
[He puts more food into his mouth as he considers what he wants to say.]
She’s lived without me this whole time, she’ll be fine. The only reason she came to see me was because of you. [And if there’s more to it, he’s never let himself think any further about it. He’s half mentally prepared for divorce anyway. The kids are old enough not to be troubled by it now.] Why? Did you want to know what she thinks of you now?
before, definitely before. they can warn him.
Date: 12/1/21 02:46 (UTC)abandoning. the phrase you're looking for is "abandoning your child and dismissing him after filling his head with unrealistic expectations and ambitions he couldn't hope to accomplish because his genes got fucked up bad enough you replaced him" or something like that.
dabi finds out he's better off shoving the food into his mouth and not looking at it. throw it down like it's one of those ready-to-eat dinners they stole out of a convenience store. don't think about who made it, don't think about where it came from, don't think about how it tastes similar to his past.
leaving endeavor to sit over on that side of the room, dabi's left thinking over what to do next. it's getting later, edging somewhere between nine and ten at night. the moon's already high and it's black outside, his fire having been put out a while ago and no longer lighting the hill horizon blue. smoke's still covering the air in a massive swath of a plume though. where are they going to sleep? this is a stopover station for the villains so there's probably some cots or bedrolls stashed away in here somewhere. blankets and stuff. maybe a shower and some supplies. honestly dabi's never been here before, so it's going to be a bit of a hunt to find things. he knows what symbol to look for at least?
jarred out of his thoughts, he looks at endeavor in the reflection.]
Yeah? She still agreed to the marriage for money and she didn't fucking run away or call the police or do anything. Cept get hit and cower. She thought I was a chore, kept tellin me to give up and do somethin else, just like you. Betcha she never tried to make Shouto give up...
[and the bitterness rises up again, directed once more towards his little brother who stole everything from him simply by being created.]
Hn, glad I could get the whole damn family together again. [he wanted them to unite in hatred against endeavor, but apparently it went somewhat the opposite way. doesn't know how or why, but that's the feeling he gets looking at endeavor's continued heroics. this day aside.] I know what she thinks of me. I'm the same burden she had to deal with before. Just a lot worse now.
i'm home, no more mobile tags!
Date: 12/1/21 03:51 (UTC)Not knowing what a DILF is was not one of the most pressing matters, but was a fairly clear indication of how out of touch he is with the average person. Dabi is hardly average, though, he reminds himself. What he said earlier lingers in Enji's mind for a while as he eats, not realizing Dabi has a clear view of him in the reflection of the windows. Maybe he'd have tried to mask his expressions or not look so much like he's mulling things over internally. Picked up more skill on the streets than I did in your house. Was that from his refusal to continue training Touya, or because his methods weren't effective? This is the sort of thing he debates with himself when he's not speaking.]
By the time I got to Shouto, she just begged him to do as I said.
[There's some guilt there, sure, but Dabi is right. She did agree, and she never told anyone about their fights. And although the fighting was rarely ever one-sided, he knows better than to even think that made it fair, or less shameful for people to know.]
That's probably what caused her to snap. She couldn't win against me, but Shouto reminded her enough of me and that was a fight she could win. [Or maybe she lost it in the heat of the moment the way Enji does. Maybe being around him so long had Rei taking on his bad habits? He sighs and shakes his head. He's getting ahead of himself, and he should just let things be. She doesn't have to deal with him anymore, so that's already an improvement.]
I think she just didn't know how to help you. Neither did I. You weren't a burden until you grew up, announced yourself on national television, told the world about our personal issues, and decided to fuck up my life.
[He looks up at that point, seeing Dabi's reflection in the mirror and the pointed stare in his own eyes before it softens again into something else. Regret, probably. Can't blame the truth on him, just the fact that it finally leaked.]
I'm done. [Enji announces to no one in particular since Fuyumi isn't around to accept gratitude for the meal. He gets up without saying anything else to have a look around. The place isn't huge, so there's only so many places that some bed rolls might be hiding. He stumbles across the bathroom first, though. Dabi should have some sympathy for his mother, in the end she was just as much a victim to Enji's insufferable grip on the throat of his family.] Do you want to shower or figure out the sleeping situation?
mobile tags are fun as well~
Date: 12/1/21 04:45 (UTC)this? ... no.]
Cept he didn't. I saw him yell at you when you hit her. [after touya came back with his burns, leading endeavor to argue with his wife over him, resulting in the blow, shouto's yells, natsuo and fuyumi cowering in fear elsewhere as touya left the entire lot of them behind.] And he rejected you after you sent his mom away. [a soft chuckle lolls from his mouth.] I never would've rejected you. I would've walked into hell for ya.
[he thinks so little of endeavor's wife, despises his youngest child, all because they removed his father's attention from him. one by never standing up for him, the other by being more desirable. hates them both for those things and the other stains on his life they stand for.]
Dunno. I was dead before she broke. If ya really think she boiled Shouto's face cause she wanted to do it to you but couldn't...
... bfft-! Haha! That's fuckin hilarious! I'd've loved to've seen her throw a teapot at you!
[he didn't get to live with rei and the family while their mother slowly twisted into insanity. hearing endeavor mention it now is a first glimpse, but it's still funny. since he'd never really gotten the chance to talk to shouto about his burn, for obvious villain-related reasons + being dead at the time, he'd been curious about the cause behind it. did some digging to find out why she'd been committed and finally found out, but hearing it more or less confirmed? that's a nice piece of information for him to tuck away for a later date.]
Ya keep sayin ya don't know... ah forget it. We're just goin in circles now. S'no fun.
[he tosses back the last of his bento's top layers, but makes a face at the rice at the bottom. disgusting. dropping the bento onto the counter, he scoots away from it, not about to eat the rest. hates plain rice. not as much as he hates fish, but it's a good second place.]
But don't be too sore about the video. I damned myself in it as well. And at least I outed Hawks alongside ya. So ya didn't have to go to the press all by yourself. I'm sure plenty of other heroes have dirt and crimes they don't want the world knowing either. Should make another one...
[musing to himself, he glances up to catch endeavor looking at him in the reflection. dabi's eyes narrow at the stare and when enji's soften into regret, his only harden into determination. leaving endeavor to go searching, he stays in the chair, lingering in the darkness in thought. no, the place isn't that big, a small complex for the tower's support and some overnight stay. but as enji finds, there is a bathroom with a shower and there's a little bedroom tucked in the back for the worker or guard off shift.
dabi breaks from his thoughts at the question, then stands from the chair.]
There should be an extra area in here... Hang on.
[it takes him a while of searching, using his flames as light. but after a minute, he manages to locate the villains' hidden panel. a quick code entry and a section of the floor loosens before popping up. beneath is another chamber, bathroom, computer room, two beds, and an underground route to vanish from the outpost into the hills. other supplies linger down there, from a few bedding extras to batteries and dried foods. things to help an on-the-move villain lie low for the night, get a quick refresh and restock, then go on their way without being seen.]
We probably don't need to sleep down there. Unless someone shows up tonight.
[and if they have that kind of luck (or misfortune) they should immediately head to a casino to win big.]
until autocorrect pops in
Date: 12/1/21 12:11 (UTC)But the only thing he's gotten from any of this is that Dabi is insane, and reason means fuck all to him. If Touya is in there somewhere he has a hard time seeing it.
Yet, there are moments when he does get that feeling. Or maybe he's projecting his nicest memories of their time together onto his son. How many of them did Dabi actually even remember? But most of the time so far has been like this. Dabi ridiculing him for one thing or another and bringing up his disdain for not only him, but everyone else in the family. Enji sighs.]
Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you also had plans to dragging other people's images through the mud? [He's about to keep fussing about it like the nagging parent he is on the inside when Dabi suggests another round of videos.] No, absolutely not. If you want to make videos, make a damn documentary and stop trying to put people's private lives on display.
[He gets moves closer when Dabi starts to mess with a panel he hadn't noticed before. Apparently it triggers a mechanism that seals off a whole other area of the building, and decides that even if his son is insufferable he does have some redeeming qualities hidden behind all of the crazy.]
But I'm not an idiot, you know. I get it. Heroes are idolized and put on pedestals they don't deserve. We put on masks and dress up so we don't have to deal with our imperfections. It's hypocritical. [He's talking to Dabi as he heads down. The second he sees there's a shower Enji begins to undress, ready to wash away all the bullshit of the day with piping hot water.]
It's not even about the money or the fame for me. [Enji says this part quietly, not sure if Dabi is even listening anymore. Part of him hopes he isn't.] I'm just not good at anything else. [His ego isn't fragile, but he knows himself pretty well. Being a hero is all he has, and if it means living a lie whenever he suits up, he'd have kept doing it because he's good at it and he has nothing else. If he can't fix his own family, at least he can help other people get home safely to theirs.]
I don't mind sleeping down here so you can have your own space.
[He's already shrugged off his coat and his shoes, shirt, and belt are next. Enji throws them all onto one of the small beds that he's unsure he'll fit in comfortably, but he won't complain. Turning on the shower to test the water, it doesn't get as hot as he wants, but that won't be an issue. So used to being home alone, he doesn't think to give any warning before his jeans come down and off. He lingers naked for a moment, waiting to see if the water will heat up further before he gets in. It doesn't, so he'll have to make his own steam.]
autocorrect is evil
Date: 12/1/21 17:37 (UTC)he honestly doesn't think he's that hard to understand, but perhaps someone who's spent so much time in the light and looking away from the darkness behind him simply can't grasp what it means for someone to hate him so much it consumes their reason for existing. or becomes it. might've had a glimpse into that with ending, but dabi's the one who brought it starkly forward.
does it surprise him endeavor can't really handle that reality? not exactly. but it also has an unintended backlash against the villain. eventually attacking someone who's gone numb turns out to be pointless.
so dabi steps back to let him recharge. his tone's quieter, less accusing, but still carries weight to it.]
You still think they should get away with crimes?
[let endeavor think about the "who" that "they" refers to. mostly heroes, yes, but also government officials, wealthy civilians, the people who use the hero society to behave like villains but remain safe from touch because they're good at hiding their sins. dabi's exposed endeavor and hawks and then there's lady nagant to consider.
endeavor can't be stupid enough to think he's the only one who should answer to the darkness in his past. perhaps dabi's appealing to the man's own sense of revenge, angry that he's had to face the light while others he might know get to hide their shame and mistakes. or maybe he's testing the man's damn heroic resolve to do the "right" thing and see villains brought to justice or prevented from harming more people. except now the question is who really is the "villain" in this society...
he leaves his father to think about that question, couched in the threat of another tell-all video. dabi might have focused on endeavor and hawks for their connection to him, but he's certainly not the only villain with a personal vendetta against people. and once one gets out with success, others follow. wouldn't it be best if the heroes came out about their skeletons before some villain does it for them?
because of that, he lapses into silence as they figure out the outpost and its secrets. dabi feels minutely proud of himself for locating and accessing the panel to get the secret area open. wandering around it at least gives them more an idea of what they've got at their disposal.]
So if ya get all that, why haven't ya tried to stop it? Do ya really want heroes like that?
[it follows stain's ideology of wanting only true heroes to be active. dabi's tone suggests he's being sincere for a rare moment to his father. endeavor's seen the darkness in their society and has been forced to confront it. even though he's currently out of action thanks to this agreement with his insane child, dabi can still question the hero's drive and thoughts for the future. it's probably not smart to give him the information, but... what does endeavor want to do? talk about the best way to cook asparagus?]
It ain't about that now.
[and while he would begrudgingly give endeavor the comment about money, he'd instantly lash at him over the man's heroism not being about his own "fame" and reputation. arrogant and self-centered, wanting to be the number one so much he developed and obsession with it to the point of ruining his entire family, of course he wanted that fame and acknowledgement of his strength. he's been humiliated (humbled) enough to recognize the flaws of that goal and dabi's aware of that, but he still doesn't believe it's as sincere as it is. thinks it's just endeavor trying to crawl out of his disastrous position right now and he'll return to "normal" later to reclaim what he's always longed for. but that's for dabi's thoughts.
which are somewhat distracted as he watches endeavor start to strip. shame? nope. he's standing right and his eyes follow coat, shirt, etc as they get removed. look, after you see spinner take a shower, this is nothing.]
Huh, really. So who put together ya agency? Hire someone to do that?
[he never got around to burning that place down. it's on the list, but it's not a priority at the moment. hopefully it'll be collateral damage in the war. dabi scoffs at the notion of sleeping down there before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his shoulder to the wall, one ankle crossed over the other.]
I'll think about it.
[it's safer to sleep down here in the bunker in case something happens. sleeping up there is asking for trouble. though they are far away and this place is semi-abandoned, the fact there's a dead woman and a park on blue fire a few miles away is likely going to get a search party fanning out to look for him. there's little doubt someone's going to remember this outpost and at least come for a check.
one, unfortunately the hot water is zilch. dabi won't care but endeavor'll have to contend with it. two, he's abruptly looking at the hero stripped right down in front of him. backside of course, but no one's going to say that's not impressive. hmm... should he say the "dilf" comment again? nah, he's antagonized endeavor enough, to the point it's really not doing shit to him. so he opts to stay where he is and watch like he doesn't care at all.]
... what's Natsuo think of me?
no subject
Date: 12/1/21 20:13 (UTC)In the meanwhile, though, he can reason with him. Honestly. He'll say shit that he'd never repeat to anyone else. It's hard to say if Dabi will even believe him, so it matters less if he lies or not. The truth is just easier.]
No. I don't think anyone should get away with crimes. I don't think anyone is above the law. No matter how much fame or money someone has, they should pay for their crimes like everyone else.
[Which is easy enough to say. There's no one alive that doesn't think that Stain wanting just the pure of heart and karma to be the one's parading around as heroes. That'd be ideal, but this is not fantasy it's real life.]
But the fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, heroes are people, and they make mistakes. Some bigger than others. And they can be motivated by money, greed, popularity...competition.. [Yeah, that last one is all him. The popularity wasn't what he was after ever. Just the number one spot. He wanted to be "the best" and that started with being the number one hero in the country, surpassing All Might. Blah, blah, blah. Those goals feel so far from him now that he's come to terms with what's actually important.]
Something like that is too much for one man to stop. I know a hero isn't supposed to think that way, but you already know I'm a fraud. I'm just an idiot who wanted to become stronger than All-Might.
[Now he was unequivocally a great hero and Enji could never be like that. He isn't wired for it. Bakugo may have similar problems if his focus remains on Midoriya rather than self-improvement, but that's neither here nor there.
I put my agency together out of necessity. If I went anywhere else, I'd be contractually obligated to do ridiculous interviews, give press releases, do fan events--stuff that's a waste of time. [Still naked and waiting on the shower to warm up (it's not warming up), he turns to face Dabi for a moment, shaking his head.] It was a selfish way to put my money into something that would benefit me. You're not all wrong about me, I don't deserve most of what I have, but that's the way the world works.
[If he's aware he's being watched when he turns back around he doesn't show it. The mention of Natsuo seemed like as good a time as any to bring out his flames, so that when he stepped under the cold water steam quickly filled up the bathroom and poured out of the open door that he'd keep talking to Dabi through.]
I think he understands you the most out of everyone, but he feels bad that he couldn't help you too. Not as much as he blames me for all of it happening in the first place, but he hates me enough to think the video you released wasn't such a bad thing to happen to me.
[A lot of that is speculation on his part. The times they've actually had an honest conversation could be counted twice over on a single hand. Once his fire is out the steam lingers only for a moment until it's just cold water again. Enji has a battle within himself about whether or not to swallow his pride and ask Dabi to come over and act as a space heater since he's dry and can maintain fire. On the other hand he can suffer through a cold shower. It would be good for him...yet...the last time he had one had been in his expensive bathroom with perfectly temperature controlled water. Fuck it.]
Can you come in here a second?
no subject
Date: 12/2/21 00:56 (UTC)what he's getting out of endeavor right now, however, is strange. because between their calmer voices and dabi's less venomous attacks, the start of a somewhat decent? conversation's happening. even if the topic is still damnable for the heroes it references. dabi'd love to be recording this for later, but due to the lack of phones and shit, there's no way. it's for his ears alone...]
Ya know any heroes who should pay for their shit? Asides from you.
[beat that horse enough for the day. and while he could toss hawks onto the block, that answer's obvious, even though dabi only really has one crime on the winged hero, that being twice's murder. since the flaming chicken tricked him with best jeanist. but if he's in the same position as lady nagant, then he's bound to have done some dirty things. has all might? does endeavor even know or as he not been privy (or cared enough) to look into other heroes' wrongdoings?]
Villains are people too. Same motivation. Same "mistakes".
[but society's picky choosy over the who, the why, and the severity. dabi's not an idiot enough to lack understanding of that fact. there are a lot of villains who have done a lot "worse" than the majority of heroes, though that might depends on whose viewpoint was looking. at least the villains are honest about their crimes... some of them. it's all a fucking mess.]
Dunno. Sometimes strength doesn't matter. One man with enough conviction can change the world.
[no disagreement with endeavor putting himself down as fraud and idiot. dabi lets him get away with it without comment, merely tilting his head in silent agreement. moves onto the agency part because he's honestly curious about that. tapping his fingers on his forearm, dabi watches the steam rise up in the shower, momentarily blocking his father's body from view. not like there's a curtain or anything to drag across. it's merely an open cell because why bother having extra accommodations down here?]
Seriously? Oh, cause you'd just be a lackey for the other agency. Ya wanna be ya own boss.
[call the shots, order people around, make sure everything's going the way he wants. that should've been an obvious reason. dabi didn't know much about hero agencies, save for they were as stuck up as the buildings were tall. another symbol of the materialistic hero.]
The way the world works, huh. Pretty sure ya know that's a real shitty excuse. And a shitty way to run the world. Ya really determined to go back to bein a hero? Why dontcha join us and help kick it all over?
[this might be one of the stupidest things he's ever said. it's as dumb, if not dumber, than trying to convert that explosive anger management kid. but hey, this conversation's not harming anyone and endeavor's free to think outside the box down here. not on record or anything. dabi can ask a stupid question or two as well. endeavor's got a somewhat villainous vibe to him already.]
Betcha he doesn't understand me now.
[dabi pushes off the door and waves a booted foot through the steam pouring out the doorway. he even curls his hand around to bat at some of the misty vapors. playing with it momentarily. natsuo was the one he trusted the most, the one he was closest too, but eventually even that crumbled away. watching endeavori's flaming outline through the shower steam is a strange experience. but not at all unappealing. sometimes he's wondered what it'd be like to blast the guy with a firehose. might be something like this?] Text
Not to you, but I'm pretty sure he's pissed as hell for it dragging the rest of them back in the spotlight. Good. They should all get a chance to talk for once.
[even if dabi had to drag them out one by one and kick them into the light to make them open their damn mouths about what happened. shouto's gonna side with endeavor, then he can get the experience too.
he glances up at the fire flickering out and a grin cracks on the corner of his mouth. bets that water's freezing. keeping the fire going can't be that hard, but it's likely not doing much since the water coming in still remains cold. ain't a tub he can fill up and then boil. he drifts off into the steam that's left and after a while, returns when endeavor calls him.
just in his pants, having shed everything else out in the room.]
Can't stand bein an ice cube?
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 03:38 (UTC)Discussing his coworker's dark pasts is not something anywhere on his list.]
First of all, I don't have any friends. I'm not close with anyone, so why would I know if they don't pay their taxes or have children out of wedlock?
[Two very oddly specific examples, but they are more rumor than fact, and to narrow down that search he'd have to have conversations that he doesn't want to have with people he doesn't want to have them with. He truly couldn't care less what fucked up things anyone else got up to in their free time. Maybe they felt the same? There's only one friend that he knows a lot about and he's already been targeted by Dabi. Hawks, short of having the eyes of a homewrecker, was a decent man, and doesn't deserve his son's wrath.
He opens his mouth to say as much but closes it when Dabi just flat out invites him to switch sides. Enji is silent for a while because that's not an easy question to answer, and maybe not just instantly saying no was also not a great look, either. Enji can't picture himself working with any members of the league of villains, and they might laugh at Dabi for suggesting they bring in his old man. Maybe he's just joking about this, too? Enji is thankful for the cold water falling down on him, keeping him awake and rational. In his rationality, he decides not to answer--it needs more thought.]
I don't think anyone truly understands you.
[He doesn't mean it as an insult, but there are very clear undertones of "you're batshit, and no amount of child abuse excuses the amount of insane that you are," and yet the same applies to him. There's no one that understands Enji either. He hardly understands himself most days.]
Natsuo doesn't go out of his way to be understanding. Maybe he'll join your side of the fight more easily than I can.
[And about the ice cube thing? At least Dabi is right on the money and Enji doesn't have to try to explain.]
Just for a little while. I'll return the favor.
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 05:13 (UTC)seeing endeavor's refusal to spill secrets about his coworkers earns an annoyed click from the villain's tongue and a muttered "killjoy" following it.]
Cause ya still work in an office and people are gossips.
[heroes do their damnest to keep their images clean, so obviously someone has to know about the cleanup. he's kind of surprised endeavor doesn't know. the man may be extremely focused on his hero work, but for someone so focused on the top spot, he should have his eyes on the people trying to come up behind him. that or dabi's simply grown to be an almost paranoid-level of cautious about other people.]
Kinda specific examples though... someone came to mind right away, huh.
[he can work with rumors. gotta have some place to start. as for hawks, the man thought he could doublecross dabi and fuck up the league? not exactly the league, but he killed twice. did he have any fucking idea what sort of setback that had been to dabi's plans? hawks betrayed him, lied to him, allied with his father, and tried to ruin their organization, and by proxy the villain's hard work. hawks deserved every second of dabi's flames. and he had a lot of fun turning the winged vermin into a roast chicken. would've had two of them if that damn fool geten hadn't interrupted them...]
Oh? Ya actually thinkin about it? I'm surprised.
[figured endeavor would mock him for even suggesting the man become a villain. but that silence tells him otherwise. while endeavor likely wouldn't commit to the plf's goals and aims, he might assist them if it meant "making amends" with his black sheep son. dabi's not sure that's a very pleasant thought... but he's deluding himself if he thinks the plf would allow him to invite endeavor into their folds after what hawks did and the revelation that endeavor is dabi's father. he'd already been grilled by a few people post-war due to the 'traitor' and whether or not he had anything to do with leaking information to hawks and endeavor due to that relation. pfft, he'd laughed in all their faces. and killed two of them outright for thinking such things.]
Yeah, I've know that for years.
[dabi takes it as an insulting statement of his reality. none of them understood him. his entire family. is it any wonder he skulked off into the darkness and kept himself an enigmatic mess when emerging from them years later? when people understand you, you lose the advantage. far better to remain unknown and unpredictable. unless they start predicting your unpredictability so it ends up moot... already told shouto to his face he was insane and accepted that long ago. you don't burn yourself alive on a mountain and crawl out of the ashes with your brains intact.]
Natsuo's too pathetic to ever be useful. He's a coward who runs when things get too tough for him.
[as he speaks, dabi brazenly steps right into the shower with his father, one corner of his mouth stretching upward at the staples when the cold water splashed over him and didn't seem to bother him at all. a second later, the blue flames licked along his shoulders and down his arms, quickly increasing the heat of the room and the water drooling down his back.]
Sit down.
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 12:31 (UTC)[Which is all he sees it as. He tunes all of it out to focus most of the time, but Dabi's not wrong. He does know of a few cases of a handful of bad actors, but it isn't his place to shine light on that darkness. Not when he has darkness of his own. Well, maybe not so much now that Dabi dragged it all out into the open.]
So I don't really know for sure, but if you're serious about it, I can give you some leads to follow up on.
[If they're bad enough to warrant investigation, then hopefully it will bring something concrete to light. Enji's concern is less about secrets being spilled, and more on what it would do to the image of heroes. Not personally, he doesn't give a shit about that, but in general. People losing faith in heroes means that society would take another turn where the wicked would outshine the just. He's unsure about this particular path Dabi wants to explore, but he'll at least give him what he knows or more accurately, what he can find out. Dabi would have to figure it out from there.
Enji isn't sure why entertaining the idea of switching sides makes him feel so guilty. He doesn't have allegiance to anyone, and most of his fans only got there via All Might stepping down, or people who don't care who the number one hero is, just that they do their job in keeping the streets safe. Enji has made a name for himself doing that, but also being a main reason for the existence of the villain Dabi. Would anyone even be surprised if he did? Hawks would be disappointed, but everyone who ever thought he wasn't hero material would be validated. ]
I'm not so easily understood, either, it seems. But I want to understand you now, maybe we can figure each other out somehow.
[Enji also won't say anything bad about Natsuo. That's a no-go. Part of him gets a little upset every time Dabi asks about someone else. He understands that he can't just go ask them himself, but does Enji bore him so much that he's only wanting to know his standing with the others. Just as he has that thought, Dabi is trying to step inside the shower with him.
Before he can think to ask him what the hell he's doing, he figures it out.]
I meant you could have warmed the air out there. [He mumbles in forced irritation, but there's clearly gratitude there because he steps a little bit closer to soak up a little bit of the heat from his flames. They just burned much hotter than his own by default. Enji doesn't want to sit down, though, but he keeps his eyes on Dabi as the awkwardness of the situation hits him and his face flushes. At least he can blame that on the sudden change in temperature.
He uses soapy hands to wash himself, turning away when he has to pretend to have some shame for his son's comfort. He's worked hard with training and so his body is in good shape, and he's not ashamed of it. But that doesn't mean that Dabi wants to watch him wash his dick. Enji goes through the washing process pretty fast, he's rushing because Dabi's there with him.
Only once he's done does he finally cave, sitting down under the now warm water to rinse off.]
Your clothes are getting wet. [Well, just his pants. Enji reaches out to undo the front of Dabi's jeans. They'd have to trade off eventually, or maybe not. It isn't like cold water bothers his son. Enji is the only one really enjoying the instant sauna effects of Dabi's flames.]
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 20:29 (UTC)[it's amusing to see heroes with attitudes like endeavor and that exploding kid. they're so opposite what heroes are expected to be and yet an increasing number of people continue to find them attractive. makes him wonder if at some point, the population might flip over and start regarding the villains as more deserving of attention... since the heroes are corrupt as well.]
Ain't gonna turn that down.
[he sure as hell expects whatever his father gives him to be complete bullshit. but it won't hurt to take it and at least have a look into. who knows, might get lucky or endeavor might make a mistake and slip something useful in there. then again, there's the slight chance the man does want to make things right and rooting out some of the scum in his own ranks could help with that. could be an attempt to regain his own glory and position too... wouldn't put it past him. dabi has all the interest in the image of heroes; any chance of smearing them is one he's at least willing to inspect. dead ends don't bother him as much now. not like he has a time schedule or anything. (well, maybe that damn afo does, but that's not really dabi's problem.) a heroless world would be fun.
as much delight as it'd be to have endeavor switch over to the "bad" side, it'll never happen. the villains are too wary for such a thing and it's more likely that afo would rip out his quirk and shove it into one of those disgusting nomu or another follower. not the kind of end dabi wants for his father. call him selfish, but he cares more about his own desires than what's "best" for all for one and the rest of the world, heroes and villains be damned. but holy shit, what would it be like to watch endeavor clash with shouto? make the two of them fight each other, father and son all over again, but this time the success instead of the failure. can he even make that happen? ... huh.]
I understand all I need to know about ya.
[even if endeavor's the one with the more accurate memories compared to dabi's smokey recollections. it's less understanding his father and more determined to project his thoughts onto him. "dabi" can only function off the man he knows from his past. whatever endeavor's trying to become or however he's trying to change... nu-uh. that's not good. he has to force him back into the state he remembers or corrupt whatever he's attempting into the normal hatred.
hearing him apologize, trying to understand him, wanting to make amends, he can't-- he can't function if that person is the truth. because then it starts to swing endeavor towards a hero again, destroying what dabi's worked so hard to destroy in turn. (but as the man figures, there's only so much dabi can blame on his childhood abuse before he has to be accountable for his own actions. and while he says he's already done that, the video broadcasting to the world the "why" he did what he did clearly shows otherwise.) blame blame blame. so it's safer to talk about other people when endeavor isn't responding like dabi wants.
boring. yeah. like hell does he want this to turn into some mundane soul searching trip with dear old dad. invading the shower seems like another way to throw those logs back on the fire. plus he needs one himself anyways. considering enji's reaction before, coming in here naked probably would've sent him fast walking out the door.]
What's that gonna do if ya dumping freezin water all over ya?
[give him a good place to step out into before he has to get back in. dabi ignores the gruff gratitude in the man's voice and he reaches his arms up to rest his hands on the walls, more or less spreading himself out to catch the water and heat up what splashes over him and goes around him. the steam's quickly pumping through the shower once more as the water spills over dabi's back and shoulders. without endeavor taking a seat, he can't lean over him and just "drool" hot water down onto the man, but that's enji's call. bullshit on blaming the flush on the water.
as endeavor turns away, dabi's presented with his back. he bitterly reminds himself he's more familiar with this side of his father than the front. doesn't stop him from letting his eyes wander. it's a testament there aren't as many, if any, scars on his back as there are on his front. the man never turned his back on his foes. just his family. how's that for being a hero. dabi drops an arm and lazily starts to run a finger over endeavor's back, following the shape of his shoulder blades and down along the contours of his muscles. not even showing the slightest bit of shame for doing so. occasionally heats his finger up, threatening to burn, but backing off before it gets anywhere near dangerous.]
Don't gotta hurry on my account. I ain't rushin ya.
[finally endeavor sits down and dabi takes the opportunity to brace his hands on the way, then leans over him entirely. this lets the water spill off his back, head, and shoulders, running down on the man below him at a far hotter temperature than the shower head's putting out. almost like a filter.]
Ya good at statin the obvious. [though he arches a brow when the hero actively pops the front of his jeans. wasn't expecting that. but he doesn't pull away either, eyes boring into the red-haired head below him.] Take 'em off if ya don't like em...
no subject
Date: 12/3/21 23:42 (UTC)So what's he left with?
Getting physically closer, so far, has been the only thing that he'd allow. At first Dabi resisted even that, but it hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet, and it seems like at the very least his son is indifferent towards Enji touching him. That's something. They've also not resorted to literal flame wars, so there's that too.]
Might not have minded the freezing water if it was warmer...[He starts to try to explain his logic there, but there's not much need at this point. Dabi's already in the shower with him and being weird about it now that he's helping would be counterproductive. He decides to just get on with the shower. Enji isn't sure now is the time to say it, but he's thankful for the assist.
While he has his back to his son, he feels the touch and does the very same thing that was done to him earlier--he flinches. It's not that he hates the contact necessarily. It's just unexpected. The only people who touch him at all are villains, and they certainly don't touch him like that. Rei hasn't been within a few feet of him in decades, even when she came to see him in the hospital. So this is different.
Strangely enough, he doesn't mind the heat from Dabi's finger, maybe because he's more familiar with that than the strangeness of something gentle or exploratory.]
Bathing with you was a lot less weird when you were a kid. [He complains, but so far Dabi really hasn't done anything terribly out of line. If anything's troubling Enji, it's having to depend on someone else for something.
Enji isn't thinking about anything in particular when he gets Dabi's pants and underwear down his hips, pulling them off cautiously so he doesn't have fabric catch on the staples. And, he only remembers being curious about what Dabi's body looked like below the waist after he's gotten said pants down off his ankles and tossed them clear of the running water and across the bathroom entirely.]
I don't like any of your clothes. Too many holes.
[This isn't so strange, he thinks. Fathers and sons sharing a public shower isn't a big deal. Why does the air around them feel tense all of a sudden? He could just be projecting, so Enji keeps the conversation as normal as he can even if Dabi's junk is right there in his face.]
Ready to switch? [He's only half rinsed off with soap still visible on half his body because of the haste with which he's looking to not have to be on his knees in front of his first born.]
no subject
Date: 12/4/21 19:23 (UTC)well, guess a distracting shower fiasco is a good enough change of pace to keep them somewhat occupied while the occasional conversation dips around between them. it feels strange to be so close to endeavor without trying to burn him to ash. the last time he was this close without murderous intent was that day back home, when he told his father to come to sekoto to see his new development. the day he died. now?
it's been less than a few hours together and he's standing in the shower with him, letting his father touch him and doing the same in return.]
Ya ain't got that many scars... Lucky you.
[ignoring the comment about the water temperature, he finds interest instead in the man's back and the lack of real blemishes. it says a lot of things. speaks of his power and skill almost immediately, though some people might say it spoke of cowardice and a fear of pain. but it also serves as a glaring reminder that his father's body is built for his quirk, a perfect specimen for the intense power of his flames. sure, he has some limits and a threat of overheating, but it's hardly anything the man has to worry about.
specifically exemplified as he trails his finger along his back. even the heat of his flames, despite him keeping them down from something fatal, isn't going to do anything due to endeavor's resistant to those temperatures. he'd really have to gun the blue flickers on his finger to drag a branding line down his skin. and he's not about to turn into an arc welder right now.
dabi ignores the way endeavor flinches at the initial touch. he'll deal with it. mentally he finds it interesting, though it's bitter due to understanding endeavor's momentary twitch away is due to the man simply not being used to someone touching him like that rather than associating "touch" with "pain" or caution. at least that's his assumption. maybe endeavor does normally associate touch with pain, since most of the people who manage to touch him are villains. the ones that want to hurt him.]
Cause I was a kid.
[though ironically he's probably a much bigger "little shit" now than he was as a child. later years being the exception. dabi sounds amused at endeavor's complaint and makes no effort to stop the touches until the man finally sits beneath him and works on his pants. the metal buckle and leather belt come open easily, buttons on his pants and zipper dragging down to open his fly. a pair of black boxer briefs at least suggest the villain's not running around commando all the time. (occasionally... he's a rebel.) but he notes again how endeavor's careful with his staples.
dabi hikes one leg at the knee to strip the clothing from his ankle and foot, then repeats it with the other to get out of them entirely. it's another view like his arms. the scorched flesh of his legs rakes across the majority of his limbs like ugly stockings of wrinkled purple flesh. staples rimming the middle of his thighs where his skin's demarcation lines wander and another set ringing his ankle just under the bone, though his other leg's been consumed past his heel to the center of his foot. boots can be a pain at times. both ways.
perhaps the one lucky part of his life is that the area between his lower stomach and his upper thighs has remained clear of burns. hips are spared. ergo, he hasn't burned his dick off as endeavor'd griped about earlier. and thankfully that's one area he didn't get the "runt" gene in. his partners never complained. those steely wires of muscle are there as well, defined pelvic V from his life. he might not have a great deal of strength and physical endurance, but at least he's not flabby.]
Sorry. I'll make sure to dumpster dive behind the quality brand stores next time.
[nyeh. have some sarcastic teenager he apparently hasn't outgrown yet. dabi scoffs at the question before dropping his arms and using them to "aim" the streams of water off his fingers and onto endeavor's face and shoulders.]
You still look like someone blasted you with a fucking soap machine.
[but it'll only be a few seconds before dabi lowers his arms to indicate he's done. and be thankful he doesn't just step to the side and let you eat ice, dammit.]
no subject
Date: 12/4/21 21:11 (UTC)So, yeah, it's unusual to be this close to anyone else, doubly so that Dabi is technically his son, but not so weird that he ever considers shutting it down, or walking away.]
Not back there, no, and luck doesn't have anything to do with it.
[And although he has a few at the front, none are as prominent as the one on his face. Can't really complain about that when Dabi's entire body is a literal patchwork of unburnt skin and scar tissue. The same man as a child bares almost no resemblance when Enji tries to place them side by side in his mind. The only thing about Dabi that's exactly the same is the intense aqua of his eyes that mirror his father's. Shouto only got one, but when he looks at Dabi it carries the familiarity of a quick glance into a mirror.
The muscles of his back and shoulders tense and flex in response to the touch of a hot (but not uncomfortably so) fingertip against his skin. He doesn't make any sort of verbal remark about the contact, but drops his head down a little with a soft hum. It's as much of an invitation for Dabi to touch him freely as he's going to give. Probably to anyone, ever, but definitely for the foreseeable future, if not, then just the next couple weeks.]
You're certainly not a child anymore.
[Even if there are moments he has to remind himself of that. Jumping back into the peak of their relationship as father and son wasn't possible for a number of reasons, but he's as careful with Dabi as he would have been with Touya when he was a baby. There are so many habits he needs to break, and it's a little easier to not try to treat him like the insufferable kid he has the clearest memory of when the very representation of his manhood is on display.
If Enji takes a moment to look once Dabi's clothes are out of the way, it's entirely based in curiosity and nothing more. He has to tell himself that when the obvious question of what he's doing looking at his son's dick pops into his head. It's not like the size of him is of any importance to him at all. Obviously it's just a sick curiosity to see if he had Enji's genes there or his mothers. That's all it is, he insists to himself, silently satisfied that at least that part of him filled out well and wasn't lost to his self-destructive fire quirk.]
I'm trying to spare you from having to be in here with me longer than you have to.
[But since Dabi is going to judge him for it the way he's judged his clothing, Enji matches that same sarcastic teenage energy as he gets to his feet, sucks it up and properly washes himself off. He can't leave a job half finished.
Enji feels at least a little more shame than Dabi when his eyes linger over the villain's slim frame from his full height. He's not embarrassed at all to show his own body but, it takes some time until he doesn't feel bad about looking at Dabi. Enji leans back against the tile, trying to move out of the way of the shower so Dabi can wash himself. Unlike his son, he takes up a good amount of space, so he's used to being conscious of it.
Dabi doesn't need Enji to warm his water because of his quirk, but he lingers in the shower with him anyway to watch quietly.]
Make sure you wash properly. [The funny part is, he's not joking.]
no subject
Date: 12/5/21 20:05 (UTC)Ya mean ya don't ever get attacked from behind or ya never turn ya back on villains?
[okay so maybe not completely done with picking at him, but the question's not really lancing. endeavor's free to take it that way if he likes, but dabi's mostly curious. he's noticed the lack of any real scars on the hero's body, especially compared to the one on his face. they speak of endeavor's skill and power. though the one ripping half of his visage off dual speaks of his determination to be a hero and, now that it's revealed, the depths of dabi's hatred towards the man.
and no. he has no sympathy for shouto's burn scar or endeavor's. they don't even know the meaning of "scarring" compared to what touya went through. though he's not really one to flaunt his scars for that reason. kind of likes using them to freak, scare, and gross people out. they're sort of an intimidation weapon and they make a great conversation starter. (especially when he blames them on heroes.)
nah, he'll stick to one finger for exploring.]
And yet ya still can't help but occasionally treat me like one.
[no shit, since dabi can act like an immature kid at times. sulking, pouting, having tantrums, getting even, being a pain in the ass for no reason other than he's a walking dickhead. the league puts up with an awful lot from him... endeavor would shake his head. but then there's the current reality, when he's standing over his father with his body bared and his dick in his face. no shame whatsoever.
one, he certainly had gotten endeavor's genes in that department, though he doesn't have that meat-packed buns of steel ass his father sports and the tabloids like to snap pictures of (control your spandex, endeavor). but that might be more lack of nutrition on the streets than lack of genes. two, he's damn glad his dick hasn't burned off. there are multiple reasons he's not even going to think about for why. that said, enji staring right at him and checking him out is one part weird as fuck and one part hilarious. not that dabi was a prude; he never averted his eyes when endeavor stripped down.]
Walked in here on my own, and I'll leave when I feel like it. Ya ain't in control of that.
[though he does "hmph" in annoyance when the man opts to eschew his hands-aimed water flow and instead takes the icy burst in the face to quick wash himself off. tch, see if he ever helps you with that again, arrogant asshole. but he steps to the side and leans against the far wall while endeavor washes.
and this time, he takes the opportunity to take a good look. eyes wandering down his father's neck and chest, that ridiculous breadth of his shoulders and the statue chiselling of muscle that threatened to rival All Might in sheer sculpture alone. it's annoying that the man's a damn specimen of male beauty. aliens should never abduct him for a sample of humanity because they'd be disappointed when they came back for more like him. fuck, you could wash clothes on those abs! he gets a faint memory of playing that pachinko machine, watching the little metal balls bounce down pegs and hills to find paths to the bottom. speaking of... twin cuts grooving his his funnel dabi's eyes lower towards the fantasy of many a villainous female gaze. no, there were one or two instance when he torched some lewd bitch for rambling on about endeavor's dick. the world didn't need trash like that. but... he's getting a full frontal proof of exactly why they talked about him. it's as impressive as the rest of him, and that's probably an understatement.
maybe he's silently grateful he at least got some of his father's genes outside his quirk, and eyes, and skin tone, and hair... well, used to be hair.]
Ya serious? [did he just slip back into "dad" mode at him? dabi gives him a flat look before bluntly walking into the water and letting it splatter all over his face and down his body.] This is washin properly.
[anywhere from breaking into a school to steal showers at their locker rooms, the entire league renting one motel room to shower off, or if those options aren't available, finding fountain, river, lake, something like that to take a dip in. though it's when dabi gets the soap in his hands that he actually pauses and looks a little... not conflicted, but it's rare he gets soap.]
no subject
Date: 12/6/21 07:26 (UTC)Besides, he usually had his back to whoever's in need of saving, and it wasn't until recently he's started to wonder if maybe they were also waiting for a chance to stab him in the back.
Steam escapes his nose as he exhales the sigh he was holding on to.]
Then don't act like one.
[Far easier to place all the blame on Dabi that acknowledge that his softness for his son is his very glaring weakness, and treating him like he remembers Touya is so easy it's almost an indulgence worth savoring. How is he meant to treat Dabi like an adult when he never fully got to treat him as a teenager or a young man. He'd missed out on those moments with Touya and perhaps was making up for lost time.
Far too much too late, he thinks. Dabi would probably agree, but he doesn't say the words out loud to confirm it. Instead he dedicates his attention to the body in full view the same way Dabi's eyes examined him for flaws. The difference being Dabi scanning him for scars over otherwise smooth skin is not the same as taking in the patchwork of healthy and damaged skin that's exposed to him in return.
Although, he will admit that Dabi is still nice to look at in spite of that.
Unfortunately he's not the only one to think that. Dabi's slender frame and wickedly charismatic eyes have a power over the women who aren't put off by the track of staples holding the villain together. He has to hear about them when they send him letters belittling him for his past actions while complimenting Dabi in ways he always told his staff he had no inclination to hear about. So they stopped telling him.
He's always just assumed it's that same morbid fascination people have with serial killers, but getting to be up close and looking at him, he understands the appeal. Tall, dark, and handsome to those who weren't towering over him, Dabi would have been far too pretty to be a villain if he hadn't ruined himself with burns. And even the word ruin is debatable here, Enji thinks.]
You won't get clean with water alone. Do you need help?
[Enji is not above bathing his adult son if it ensures that he smells clean while they happen to be cohabitating. It's for his own benefit as well as Dabi's. There's also shampoo and Dabi's hair is probably too long to be fine without it. He squeezes some onto his hands and comes at Dabi without warning, his fingertips gently massaging his scalp as a good amount of lather forms. Even this feels like an indulgence he doesn't deserve to have a second chance at, but he steels his face and his focus, fully prepared to take any protest in stride in the name of hygiene.]
Tilt your head back and close your eyes.
[His voice isn't as stern as before when it's time to rinse. It's almost uncharacteristically gentle. This is how he should have always treated Touya, then maybe they wouldn't be in this position.]
no subject
Date: 12/6/21 16:46 (UTC)[he does. complete with thinking that steaming snort reminds him of a cartoon bull. and that's one of the few "innocent" childish things the villain's retained. the rest are all matured into some nasty personality traits. to go along well with his new life on the streets. rei would be completely ashamed at seeing what her son's turned into. manners wise. the rest of him's probably evoking both horror and disgust from her, if also a sense of validated relief that her exasperation towards him was well founded.
dabi's used to the blame being placed on him. he wasn't strong enough, he wasn't able enough, he wasn't good enough, all his fault for never being able to stand up to his father's ambitions and reach those lofty heights no matter what he did. he blamed fuyumi for not understanding him, natsuo for not wanting to hear him, enji and his wife for being shitty parents, and shouto simply of existing. but under it all, the notion of "failure" continues to run deep.
seeing some of those scars, not just the one on endeavor's face, is a way of validating his own determined beliefs that his father is not the perfect and lofty goal he wanted to make proud. the man is damaged and vulnerable, can be hurt and ruined. he's not the insurmountable wall he wanted to project himself as. not worth the title of no. 1. not even worth the title of "hero". and watching his eyes rove over himself is therapeutic as well. he's not ashamed of his scars and disheveled body. rather gets a sick enjoyment out of endeavor having to face his own handiwork. in a while, there's a lot of people enji used to know who are going to look like him, courtesy of endeavor's own flames.
oh he's not alien to the idea people find him attractive. perhaps not in the classic "beauty" standards, but the shadowy intrigue and dangerous allure of villainy and stoic callousness ironically draw people. he's used himself to survive and to get what he wanted. some people didn't care what it looked like, so long as it was fuckable. and others he had fun seducing, picking up charm and charisma from hookers and hustlers he watched on the streets. certainly wasn't going to learn those tricks from home sweet home.
some people find his scars freakishly attractive, though there's a lot of miscreants and deviants down here in the underworld. people endeavor wouldn't know shit about. well, minus the one or two dabi deliberately sent his way. ending for one and that ball riding star-what's-his-face. shows their importance to him.
dabi scoffs at the question and lifts his arm to look at it, broken from his thoughts.]
Don't think I forgot how to wash myself, ya know.
[of course, the one gross part of baths and showers is when his skin starts to get soft. particularly around the seams. makes it easier to pull and break, so he has to be careful if he wants to soak. with that in mind, he goes for the soap, stepping out of the spray so he can lather his hands and then start working on his arms. beginning with the demarcation lines and works his way down in quick, practiced motions that suggests he's more military in the shower on average.
only to pause and blink when hands fall on his head. seriously? he's gonna wash his hair? for a second, his eyes blaze up at the man through the dark spikes of his bangs, almost ready to flare up and blast him away from him. but the slight sapphire haze of flames around his shoulders dissipates and he loses the glare, looking away as he silently gives endeavor permission to do what he wants.
the roots are starting to show white again, but that's likely lost in the snowy suds.]
I do it this way.
[maybe he's petulant, maybe he's rebellious, but either way, he tilts his head forward instead and lets the water drag his hair, and the suds, down. those gentle hands in his hair are... irritating. the bring back extremely faint memories of a child he doesn't know anymore, and a parent he can no longer believe even existed.]
no subject
Date: 12/6/21 18:52 (UTC)Guess I'll take the blame for that too. At least I have a legitimate reason for treating you like one.
[That legitimate reason being that 1) Enji is literally his father 2) It's hard to know how to treat Dabi when Touya was just a child when he lost him. Dabi may not look like a child, and may not even look like the Touya he remembers, but the stuff from back then that he's been missing are things parents didn't tend to do to adult children. Bathing together and hair washing, for example. He doesn't know how to navigate any of this stuff. Maybe he should give up on parenting the way he's given up (at least temporarily) on being a hero.]
I don't think you forgot, I think you just don't do it right habitually.
[Enji is mostly joking, but nagging Dabi is strangely satisfying. Maybe because he knows that it does bother him. He also wondered about how his skin and staples handled extended exposure to water or soap, and he's starting to answer a lot of his own questions purely by observation.
He steps forward when Dabi dips his head for the shampoo run down forward instead of back. Maybe it has to do with the way he styles his hair? Enji doesn't care that much about it, he's solely focused on making sure the shampoo is completely washed out. He wraps an arm around Dabi's waist from behind to make sure he doesn't move away as he takes just a moment to properly wash behind his ears. Enji's open hand covers a large amount of surface area of Dabi's lower abdomen.
If his father's attention is what he wanted this whole time, Enji is sure it won't take much time for Dabi to grow to dislike the attention of his overbearing father as much as his other children do. He's still surprised that Dabi backed down from trying to fight Enji back, and he know he shouldn't ask questions about that or risk those blue flames coming out again. But he's never been able to leave well enough alone.]
As long as we do it your way, you don't care if I help?
[He wants to point out how childish that is to prove his point from before, but he's already risking being shoved away by making that comment at all. So Enji keeps it to himself, just letting out a low chuckle. It must be a dad sense of humor thing because he's also aware that this might not be amusing to anyone else.
At certain moments his skin meets Dabi's and he's able to feel there's a temperature difference between them. Dabi feels cold against him, and so Enji remains wrapped around him from behind. Just being out of direct contact with the cold water has allowed him to heat up again. They both tend to run hot, probably, but maybe Dabi doesn't know he's cold because he's not bothered by it?]
Am I smothering you yet? Or is this what you always wanted?
[Enji's hand slides up Dabi's stomach to one side of his chest, pulling him back and away from the water again. He lets himself have this moment, regardless of what Dabi wants, and rests his face right on top of Dabi's wet hair.]
no subject
Date: 12/6/21 23:49 (UTC)[he's sometimes wondered if, in his excuse to be a semi-decent parent, endeavor's given fuyumi, natsuo, and shouto unlimited credit cards. it seems likely, considering he can just throw money at his kids to make them go away. well, shouto being the exception. but he's not about to ask, preferring to leave that for stewing on later.
there's a part of him that's amused at endeavor's failure to deal with this new strangeness of showering with him. for dabi's, it's not a problem at all; he's so disassociated from his father the man might as well be a stranger when he needs him to be. years of pretending they weren't related and lying about it whenever the topic came up in his presence has made it second-nature for him to compartmentalize his thoughts and emotions when it comes to his family. unable to forget any of it, though his hatred's transformed all those memories into fuel for his insanity. he's got that going for him.]
How the fuck do you do it "right"? [doesn't stop him from growling at him like a petulant teenager getting told he needs to fix something.] It's washing hair.
[if endeavor's joking, it's still getting a rise out of the eldest from his brood. you put your hand in your hair with soap on it and rub it around back and forth. maybe in circles if you wanna be fancy about that shit. dabi doesn't treat it any differently than shoving his head under a spigot on a hot day.
the soap at least is helping the stapled areas of his skin. he does have to treat them when he has time and supplies to do that; otherwise he'd be walking around with infections all over. it's a price to pay for his chosen method of handling his injuries.
hair styling is part of it? even if that spiky bunch atop his head is mostly natural and only helped with the occasional choppy cut to keep it from getting long. no, he's not gonna say who cuts his hair.
the magician.it's when he suddenly gets a meaty arm wrapped around his waist from behind that he tugs his head up, slapping water across enji's face from the sudden pull.]The fuck-?!
[well he tries to move away? but ends up "oof" against the bar across his stomach and now there's a hand on his head getting behind his ears. dabi makes a face at the wall across from him, feeling very uncomfortably like some damn cat getting groomed or something. if he knew it would actually do something, he'd stomp on his stupid foot. that massive hand over his stomach's good enough to keep him there, abs hardening under his scarred swatch across his belly and the sweep of healthy skin below it.
and now he's starting to remember other reasons why he hated the man. micromanaging perfectionist with an overbearing "my way" attitude on how shit gets done. that question is enough to get another hell's cat glare over his shoulders, this time eyes actually burning and a few whorls of blue flame sparking into existence around his head.]
Ya got your fucking bear paw pinned at my waist and ya gonna talk bout "my" way?
[but it's when the man suddenly pulls back, not hard enough to jerk him, but enough to make him take a step or two backwards. flesh presses up against his back and he tenses, unconsciously rising on his toes as his eyes widen from the sensation. this is definitely not the first male body he's felt against his back and it's not the first time he's been grabbed and held like this either.
but this is endeavor and for all his damn compartmentalization, his brain is racing with a host of warnings and screamings. too close, too controlled, too fast, to angry. slamming that urge into a high gear that's reserved for certain fight or flight situations. enji's hot against his skin, body only good with resisting the cold and now almost sizzling with the heat. (or that's his flames.) smothering him? what he fucking wanted?! he feels his flesh crawl beneath the hero's hand as it wanders up his stomach and cups at his chest, heart slamming beneath his ribs in a manner he can't tell between panic or excitement.
then a face settles right into his hair and something snaps inside him. the tension seems to melt and his expression slides back into the normal stoic expression as his flames vanish with a husk of air. just in time for his fingers to come up and wander across the side of enji's face, almost spider-like as their tips step from the angle of his chin to the span of his cheek and the taut of his temple.]
If ya really wanna smother me, I should be the one against the wall, endeavor.
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Date: 12/7/21 04:22 (UTC)[What could have been a joke is said so dismissively that there's hardly any way to think Enji is being anything but genuine. Monetary compensation for the shit Touya had to go through wouldn't have been out of the question if Dabi wasn't one of the most dangerous villains in Japan. So any traceable transfer of funds to Dabi would likely incriminate him.
Enji's not even aware that Dabi isn't being serious, or maybe his response would have been less honest.
He's still conflicted about what the young man is to him.
It's hard to say they're enemies outright. They fall on opposing sides of the morality spectrum (despite Enji's tendency to do terrible things), but Enji has already made up his mind that he won't be fighting Dabi at any point in the future. Not one on one or head to head. He refuses due to the second point. It's hard to say they're family when they haven't been close for decades and even before then when Shouto was being trained they weren't on speaking terms. Well, Touya would speak to Enji and his father would largely ignore him in order to not encourage his training.
So where does not quite enemies, extremely estranged family fall? That's where Dabi is, and Enji supposes he can either try to pinpoint some kind of definition or just allow it to be ambiguous.
The issue with that is there are moments when he knows for a fact that Touya, his Touya, is in there just as he remembers him. He can feel it when his hand is over Dabi's chest and his heartbeat hammers away or when his reaction to Enji being intrusively overbearing is a flare up of his quirk possibly out of reflex. That's undoubtedly his son's temperament. He knows because he's the same way.
But then Dabi also has moments where he locks all of that down and his expression goes blank, his blue eyes cold and distant. In those moments Enji doesn't feel any familiarity, and while it makes touching him easier and less meaningful, he knows the villain isn't really receptive to his input at that point. Nor is he to Dabi's.
The hand that reaches up to slide fingers along Enji's face does cause his hands to freeze for a moment. Not rubbing over the jigsaw puzzle of stapled flesh, but just resting against it instead as he tries to suss out what Dabi's intentions are. Maybe hypocritical when he's pressed right up against him from behind. It's just throwing him for a loop. One moment he's sure Dabi will burn his face off, and the next his face is touched in a way that brings heat rushing to the places those fingers had just been.]
Do you want to be smothered?
[Dabi calls him Endeavor, and something in him crackles like he's just had fresh firewood fed to whatever was burning inside his chest. Dabi doesn't weigh much at all, so shutting off the water to turn them around is just as easy as drawing the younger man up by the backs of his thighs to trap him between himself and the tile. In the moment it's clear as day. Dabi is not his son and Endeavor is not his father.]
What do you really want from me? Why did you bring me here?
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Date: 12/7/21 16:38 (UTC)[and he's sure the bank would appreciate not being burned down when the cops came to arrest him with a fleet of heroes. sticking his head into any sort of "official" or "legal" shit related to his now-outed todoroki name would be extremely detrimental to his current life decision of hiding out with all for one. this current "current decision" with endeavor aside. it's a fling, an experiment, nothing more. the league and the plf have plenty of funds and supplies. he'll keep those "retroactive" allowances for future use. should something ever come up where the planets align.
the only reason he's not outright abandoning the idea is because endeavor spoke so plainly about it. dabi mistrusts a lot of what the man says, but there are things he'll accept as truth. this being one of them, ironically enough. considering the new leaf endeavor's trying to convince himself he can turn over, dabi's sure his father would give him his inheritance if he asked for it. strings attached, of course.
endeavor may have a hard time deciding what the two of them are to each other, but dabi's mindset is crystal clear on that regard. endeavor is many things to him and he changes the lens as he needs. father, murderer, abuser, false hero, victim, prey, ambition, obsession, enemy. while the flame hero has determined not to fight him, dabi has every intention of forcing the man to raise his fires to him. if that means murdering his youngest child in front of him, then he'll have a fucking blast while doing it. he's agreed to a selfish truce for now, not planning on attacking the man outside of possible training. though even that's somewhat tinted in passive aggressive irony.
touya remains inside him as well, but it's hard to say dabi "switches" to touya instead of donning his name and memory like a mask. unfortunately, he wasn't burned to a complete crisp. patchwork scars cover his healthy flesh and the same goes with his shattered mindset and twisted personality. pieces of touya remain among the blackened parts. he still retains his pride and the todoroki's cool disposition, even his childish excitement (though what excites him now is disturbing) and sarcasm/tantrums make it back. but it's only rarely that touya's emotional side makes its way through dabi's stoic shell, and often that's translated into his violent streak. case in point being the flare of his flames and the brief thought of burning endeavor up to get away.
but nah. he regains control of himself and locks it all back away where it's safe. back to the visage of a villain endeavor never once recognized as his own child until he flat out told him (and even then he refused to believe it for a while). it's easier this way, isn't it? they can both ignore the unknown rawness of what they are to each other and go back to the status quo.
a grin splits the side of his mouth as he feels endeavor freeze under his touch. not a bad reaction, considering he could blast his head. tracing over the connection of his ear and being a shit enough to deliberately curve round to the back of it for a rub or two. ya wash back here yourself, endeavor? up into the spiked up shock of red hair that most of his kids inherited, but only one still retains. hard to miss that crown atop his. hard to miss that body pressed up against his own and he's well aware they're both quite naked and soaking wet. the warmth endeavor exudes is insanely tempting and he leans into it without hesitating. so much definition back there... ridiculous.]
Wouldn't be the first time.
[the water shuts off and in one motion, dabi feels the world spin around him as hands cup around the back of his thighs and hoist up. both eyes widen in surprise, but then quickly narrow as a sneering smile cuts across his face, hooded gaze glowing into the larger man's face as he's trapped between a mountain of muscle and the tile wall.]
Ooo, good start...
[not sure if this is an honest question or some spontaneous role play, he only bothers to tuck his legs back at the knees, hand finding its way entirely into enji's hair.]
Wanted to see if there was a chance we could get close without killin each other for a bit. Kinda surprised, but can't say I don't like it.
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