( There's a lot Hawks wonders about when it comes to what Dabi thinks and feels. He's not sure he'll ever really know how hollowed out of a shell the villain really is, but he thinks he's learning slowly. There's anger, hatred, a few other things. Nothing really nice that presents itself in a meaningful way, but there is still something. In some ways, it reminds him of Endeavor - the explosive bursts of emotions that come in waves during a steady simmer. Though where Endeavor burns with heat, Dabi runs cold. It's strange when he thinks about it.
But all that aside, he thinks they're in a good place even if Hawks does try to feed the fire from time to time.
Dabi's response earns a laugh the other might hear. )
What kind of emotions do you think I'd want from you?
( Mostly, Hawks just doesn't want to be barbecued. Being something like friends would be nice, though. Friends who will never quite trust each other but still attached in their own, strange ways. )
[dabi makes it a point to keep people from knowing how he thinks and feels. he likes to keep that enigmatic aura around him and frustrate those who want to figure him out. that's one solid loss of advantage if people think they can predict him. or know him. that said, there's nothing you can do about living with someone. they start to see and notice things, little bits and pieces gathered around life, actions, conversation, decisions, and slowly begin to figure out elements of a person. dabi's aware that's happening between him and hawks, but because of this world, he can't say he really cares. there's no reason for either of them to be enemies here. doesn't mean he's gonna be chummy with him immediately.
a good place. guess maybe that's true. no real threat to either of them they can't handle, no one interfering with their lives. it's peaceful. on the one hand, pleasant. on the other hand... fucking boring.
dabi glances at the wall towards the laugh. idiot.]
Positive shit. Happiness, trustworthy, peaceful. I'm pretty calm right now, but ya know once we get back home, it won't be like this. Think ya wanna see me as a friend. A real one.
[those kinds of emotions. affection. contentment. things dabi feels long since stripped of.]
( Hawks consider the response he'd given, lifting one hand to rub thoughtfully at the hairs on his chin. "Positive shit" isn't wrong. He does want Dabi to be happy, and the peace they've found is preferred to the violence and chaos they could easily fall into.
It's a difficult thing to vocalize outside his head, and he's not sure he really even wants to. Some things are better left unshared when it comes to the villain. )
What I want is to keep all my feathers in tact and not be barbequed. I don't really do the friends thing.
( It's not a lie. Hawks doesn't really have friends. People he enjoys talking to, sure, people he prefers and people he works with. But he's spent most of his life hidden away, hiding behind a mask, it makes crossing the friend threshold difficult. He tries, sure, but he never pushes it. Too many secrets to hide, too many risks to take. He thinks sometimes that if things were different for him and the league, he could be friends with someone like Twice. Someone he wants to help, someone who seems so happy to open up to and spend time with him. They could be good friends if this whole double agent thing didn't muddy the waters.
But thinking about people from home is not where he wants his thoughts to go. Last thing he needs is to end up focused on his thoughts of Endeavor, on the commission... )
I'm not even sure we'll remember this place when we get back home. It's business as usual when we get back, don't worry.
[that's the problem. wanting him to be "happy" would result in so many other people being angry. the thought rather amuses him. hawks still has no idea what his exact intentions are. if he did, would the winged hero still wish happiness on the villain? here they have peace, but it sits above dark waters. one day, he's going to learn about dabi...
in a way, he's looking forward to that. what will those golden eyes say? what will his mouth do? staring at him with a muted scream, half-open with dead words on his mouth. to murder the man you idolize, that's what will make me happy.
do you want my happiness now, hawks?
it goes further beyond those pretty feathers being kept safe from his hate-filled flames.]
I ain't got much a reason to burn ya right now. Kinda make this place tolerable.
[dabi glances towards the wall separating them. hawks says he doesn't do the "friends" thing, but how true is that really? he doubts it's because the winged hero "can't" make friends, and rather instead believes hawks wants desperately to have the friendships his life so easily suggests he should have. but he chooses not to make them, out of a mixture of protection and convincing himself he has no time or need. a man who lives his life behind a smiling mask wouldn't think he's someone who should have friends. secrets don't make friends. risks don't make friends.
the facsimile of friendship can exist over secrets and risks, but in the end, will only destroy it once everything comes to light. what an interesting man. if hawks ever truly wanted a friendship with dabi, it would be the most ironic development.
nah, it's better like this. not friends. merely... two men who exist within each other's spaces.]
Ain't worried. But I could settle for remembering some things here. Ya make a decent roommate.
( Back home, he knows wanting Dabi to be happy is dangerous. But here? It's considerably less so. Though a part of him will admit he's wary of what might happen if Dabi gets too bored. That probably won't end well for anyone, but in the interim... It's safe enough that he can manage any fall out, he thinks. And he doubts Thirteen would let things get too out of control.
But back home? The same would never apply. Dabi has a lot more power back home than he does here, allies who might rally behind him if he bothers to try. It won't go over well when he learns the truth about Endeavor, about what Dabi wants to do... But so much of how he'll feel about it hinges on Dabi now. How close they do or don't become. But either way, it'll hurt. It'll cut so deep Dabi will have no problem digging into the metaphorical wounds if that's what he wants to do. )
"Right now". Guess I should behave myself then.
( And by behave, he means not ruffle Dabi's feather too badly. He's learning how far he can push though, when he needs to ease off and when he can go a bit further. But he knows it wouldn't take much to set Dabi off with the wrong thing.
He hopes it doesn't come to that.
But comments like the one Dabi makes always make Hawks wonder how much of that burned husk of a man is really as hollowed out as the villain thinks. )
[the problem with here is he's not sure what would make him "happy" here. sure, there are things he can enjoy and take some peace in. food's not bad at all, there are places to wander, the people aren't hypocritical idiots, and there's little running around to actually threaten him. but boredom is a thing. there's no purpose for him in this world. his entire life centered around revenge and without that... what else is there?
hawks is cute if he thinks dabi really gives a shit about any of those allies who might help him. he doesn't consider them part of his "power" but at least admits they're helpful. twice especially. shigaraki's simply running the train he's currently riding on. as for endeavor, hawks, and the truth... he probably won't dig too deep into it, unless hawks takes endeavor's side and tries to encourage dabi to forgive and do all that crap heroic stuff. it ain't hawks' place to stick his nose in that business. that said, since endeavor's not here... doesn't really serve a point.]
Who knows. Ya might get possessed some day and try to off me. I'd have to burn ya.
[give him some credit, hawks. he's not going to wake up one day and decide hawks looks best blackened. dabi may be insane, but without the proper ignition, he's pretty calm and laid back. doesn't take much to ignite him, but even that's a quick-lived flare and he's back to blase. hawks really has no reason to piss him off. outside of teasing, cause both of them can be brats.]
Ya tree house ain't bad. Bed's nice. Ya make some good eggs. Stuff like that.
( There's another laugh from Hawks's room. The idea of being possessed in a place like this isn't too farfetched. But he wouldn't be surprised if either of them got kidnapped by something else or trapped in a memory instead. This place seems good at those things. )
Let's hope this place doesn't start possessing people with things. I think we have enough to deal with without that.
( Nothing too extreme has happened since Dabi got here, but he assumes it's just a matter of time. But for the sake of their peace here, he hopes they don't have to deal with something like that directed at one another. At someone else, he thinks they could work through if they got involved, but otherwise... )
I'll miss the tree house. Feels cozier than my apartment.
( The apartment he rarely spent any real time in back home. )
[dabi smirks at the phone. for all that statement sounds ridiculous, he's not putting anything past this place. and he wasn't lying just then either. a possessed hawks is gonna get burned. how badly depends on how quickly the guy snaps out of his possession. as for kidnapping and trapping, well... he might act. maybe.]
Wouldn't want ya suddenly thinkin you were some famous historical figure. I'd be bored outta my mind with lectures.
[well perhaps nothing too extreme, but the whole "hero in another life" dream had been fucking weird. dabi doesn't talk about it. it's good enough forgotten. at the same time, he's not an idiot, and if he finds out hawks was indeed influenced by something and gets set on him, he's probably not gonna hold it against him.
unless it benefits him to do so...
if they get sicced on someone else, too bad for the third party.]
What, couldn't make the apartment ya own? Oh right, you were a lapdog with no choice.
I'll do my best to avoid it. But it might be fun if you got possessed by something cute.
( It'd be interesting to see someone much more light-hearted and cheerful in Dabi's body. Weird but interesting.
And it's for the best neither of them talks about that dream. If he learned Dabi had the same one and remembered the kind of things that had been said in it... Hawks doesn't have any desire to face Dabi and what he'd do with that knowledge.
The bright eyes stare at the screen with that comment. Anyone else, it would probably get under their skin, but Hawks is a pro-hero. He's not a stranger to what villains say about them. )
I spend more time at the office. And even before I got here, with you. I'd offer to show you when we get back, but I'm not sure my sidekicks would be too happy to see you.
[don't be stupid. getting possessed by something "cute", hmph. as if he isn't "cute" enough already. nah, dabi knows there's no one who'd ever call him that outside of being sarcastic or teasing. works for him. there's nothing cute about him in the first place. and he'd rather not have someone or something else hijacking his body either.
hawks isn't someone so easily needled, so dabi doesn't feel like he's risking his comfort by giving him some villainous sass. it's not like the comment is a lie. government lapdop, trained hitman, a bird on a leash, all = hawks.]
I don't think I'd wanna go walkin into some hero's agency. Certainly wouldn't wanna walk into the HPSC buildin either. I heard ya sidekicks can't even keep up with you, though.
( Another chuckle - soft and short. A cute Dabi. Wouldn't that be a sight, but he doesn't continue that train of thought. Though he does need to consider what they'll do if either one of them does get possessed. You never know with this place, and it's better to be prepared.
For now, though: )
Nope. I set the bar pretty high when it comes to speed. Turns out hawks are pretty fast.
( Not that Dabi can see him, but he might be a little fluffed up in pride. )
[possessed, huh. does that kind of thing really happen here? dabi's gonna have more to think about if that's the case, but he's not nice enough to let hawks off with trying to kill him while possessed. definitely going to burn him. might give him a warning shot first, but after that, the possession better know what it's dealing with.]
Ya don't say.
[his tone is as wry as his face. sarcasm straight through the text.]
( Hawks can practically hear the sarcasm in the others tone in his head, can even imagine the look on his face. It only amuses him more.
The question makes one brow lift but he doesn't have a problem answering. It's not really a secret he rarely takes on interns. )
I'm not really interested in the whole "training the next generation" thing.
( A part of him worries that any intern he trains might be the one to fill his shoes for the commission, just like he had Tsutsumi's. He doesn't want to put that weight on someone else. )
[glad he can continue to be that constant source of amusement for you. the sarcasm isn't going to stop any time soon either. dabi leans back on the bed, eyes wandering to the ceiling as he lets the phone go quiet for a bit. give hawks some time to think over that question. not surprising he gets back to him quickly though.]
Oh yeah? Don't feel like you got anythin useful to teach them? Or ya don't wanna be responsible for another generation of hypocrites and failures?
[most heroes would love to leave something of themselves behind, a legacy so they'd always be remembered and their fame continue long after they're gone. but hawks?]
Or maybe ya just don't want anyone rememberin ya existed after you die.
( To see it phrased that way, Hawks knows a lot of heroes would take it for what he thinks it's supposed to be - a jab and an attempt to get under his skin. But it misses the mark. All Hawks does it glance at the screen and consider a proper answer.
They're not even close to being at a point where they share their secrets, but he can be honest about a few, harmless things. )
My face is all over posters, toys, and trading cards. I'm not sure people would forget me that easily when I die.
( If anything, he imagines the commission will find a way to spin a story about him that'll make him harder to forget when he stops being useful. Just like they had with her. )
I've said it before. I just want to live in a world where people get the chance to relax. Heroes these days do too much, spread themselves too thin. They end up putting that onto their interns and side kicks, and I don't want to do that more than I have to. But maybe if I could teach my way, I'd change my mind.
[what else does he think it's supposed to be? a compliment? then again, hawks has enough optimism and understanding of his shady life that he's one of the few people that dabi knows won't buckle or chafe under the harsh accusation. not as fun as other heroes, but it's partially an honest question. after all, most pro heroes are responsible for raising the next generation of heroes and they're often gonna pass on the same shit that the villains have such problems with.]
That a good thing or a bad thing for ya? You're so optimistic, but that's partially due to how little you think of yourself.
[the man who was raised in the slums by a pair of criminals. lifted up to be a secret dirty weapon by the heroes. trapped by his own life until a chaotic murder spree freed him of his shackles and an insane villain outed the reality of his story to the world. is it any wonder someone like hawks wouldn't think himself worth remembering?]
Ya know, it's a lot easier to relax if ya stop carin so much about other people, or society in general. You heroes feel some kind of obligation forced upon ya to help, when no one technically is able to tell ya to do so.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
idk how a week has already passed
Date: 2/16/23 23:46 (UTC)But all that aside, he thinks they're in a good place even if Hawks does try to feed the fire from time to time.
Dabi's response earns a laugh the other might hear. )
What kind of emotions do you think I'd want from you?
( Mostly, Hawks just doesn't want to be barbecued. Being something like friends would be nice, though. Friends who will never quite trust each other but still attached in their own, strange ways. )
no subject
Date: 2/18/23 17:48 (UTC)a good place. guess maybe that's true. no real threat to either of them they can't handle, no one interfering with their lives. it's peaceful. on the one hand, pleasant. on the other hand... fucking boring.
dabi glances at the wall towards the laugh. idiot.]
Positive shit. Happiness, trustworthy, peaceful. I'm pretty calm right now, but ya know once we get back home, it won't be like this. Think ya wanna see me as a friend. A real one.
[those kinds of emotions. affection. contentment. things dabi feels long since stripped of.]
no subject
Date: 2/22/23 00:56 (UTC)It's a difficult thing to vocalize outside his head, and he's not sure he really even wants to. Some things are better left unshared when it comes to the villain. )
What I want is to keep all my feathers in tact and not be barbequed. I don't really do the friends thing.
( It's not a lie. Hawks doesn't really have friends. People he enjoys talking to, sure, people he prefers and people he works with. But he's spent most of his life hidden away, hiding behind a mask, it makes crossing the friend threshold difficult. He tries, sure, but he never pushes it. Too many secrets to hide, too many risks to take. He thinks sometimes that if things were different for him and the league, he could be friends with someone like Twice. Someone he wants to help, someone who seems so happy to open up to and spend time with him. They could be good friends if this whole double agent thing didn't muddy the waters.
But thinking about people from home is not where he wants his thoughts to go. Last thing he needs is to end up focused on his thoughts of Endeavor, on the commission... )
I'm not even sure we'll remember this place when we get back home. It's business as usual when we get back, don't worry.
no subject
Date: 2/22/23 20:29 (UTC)in a way, he's looking forward to that. what will those golden eyes say? what will his mouth do? staring at him with a muted scream, half-open with dead words on his mouth. to murder the man you idolize, that's what will make me happy.
do you want my happiness now, hawks?
it goes further beyond those pretty feathers being kept safe from his hate-filled flames.]
I ain't got much a reason to burn ya right now. Kinda make this place tolerable.
[dabi glances towards the wall separating them. hawks says he doesn't do the "friends" thing, but how true is that really? he doubts it's because the winged hero "can't" make friends, and rather instead believes hawks wants desperately to have the friendships his life so easily suggests he should have. but he chooses not to make them, out of a mixture of protection and convincing himself he has no time or need. a man who lives his life behind a smiling mask wouldn't think he's someone who should have friends. secrets don't make friends. risks don't make friends.
the facsimile of friendship can exist over secrets and risks, but in the end, will only destroy it once everything comes to light. what an interesting man. if hawks ever truly wanted a friendship with dabi, it would be the most ironic development.
nah, it's better like this. not friends. merely... two men who exist within each other's spaces.]
Ain't worried. But I could settle for remembering some things here. Ya make a decent roommate.
no subject
Date: 2/23/23 23:57 (UTC)But back home? The same would never apply. Dabi has a lot more power back home than he does here, allies who might rally behind him if he bothers to try. It won't go over well when he learns the truth about Endeavor, about what Dabi wants to do... But so much of how he'll feel about it hinges on Dabi now. How close they do or don't become. But either way, it'll hurt. It'll cut so deep Dabi will have no problem digging into the metaphorical wounds if that's what he wants to do. )
"Right now". Guess I should behave myself then.
( And by behave, he means not ruffle Dabi's feather too badly. He's learning how far he can push though, when he needs to ease off and when he can go a bit further. But he knows it wouldn't take much to set Dabi off with the wrong thing.
He hopes it doesn't come to that.
But comments like the one Dabi makes always make Hawks wonder how much of that burned husk of a man is really as hollowed out as the villain thinks. )
Like what?
no subject
Date: 2/25/23 21:01 (UTC)hawks is cute if he thinks dabi really gives a shit about any of those allies who might help him. he doesn't consider them part of his "power" but at least admits they're helpful. twice especially. shigaraki's simply running the train he's currently riding on. as for endeavor, hawks, and the truth... he probably won't dig too deep into it, unless hawks takes endeavor's side and tries to encourage dabi to forgive and do all that crap heroic stuff. it ain't hawks' place to stick his nose in that business. that said, since endeavor's not here... doesn't really serve a point.]
Who knows. Ya might get possessed some day and try to off me. I'd have to burn ya.
[give him some credit, hawks. he's not going to wake up one day and decide hawks looks best blackened. dabi may be insane, but without the proper ignition, he's pretty calm and laid back. doesn't take much to ignite him, but even that's a quick-lived flare and he's back to blase. hawks really has no reason to piss him off. outside of teasing, cause both of them can be brats.]
Ya tree house ain't bad. Bed's nice. Ya make some good eggs. Stuff like that.
no subject
Date: 3/2/23 00:26 (UTC)Let's hope this place doesn't start possessing people with things. I think we have enough to deal with without that.
( Nothing too extreme has happened since Dabi got here, but he assumes it's just a matter of time. But for the sake of their peace here, he hopes they don't have to deal with something like that directed at one another. At someone else, he thinks they could work through if they got involved, but otherwise... )
I'll miss the tree house. Feels cozier than my apartment.
( The apartment he rarely spent any real time in back home. )
no subject
Date: 3/2/23 17:28 (UTC)Wouldn't want ya suddenly thinkin you were some famous historical figure. I'd be bored outta my mind with lectures.
[well perhaps nothing too extreme, but the whole "hero in another life" dream had been fucking weird. dabi doesn't talk about it. it's good enough forgotten. at the same time, he's not an idiot, and if he finds out hawks was indeed influenced by something and gets set on him, he's probably not gonna hold it against him.
unless it benefits him to do so...
if they get sicced on someone else, too bad for the third party.]
What, couldn't make the apartment ya own? Oh right, you were a lapdog with no choice.
[not anymore, but hawks doesn't know that yet.]
no subject
Date: 3/7/23 23:40 (UTC)( It'd be interesting to see someone much more light-hearted and cheerful in Dabi's body. Weird but interesting.
And it's for the best neither of them talks about that dream. If he learned Dabi had the same one and remembered the kind of things that had been said in it... Hawks doesn't have any desire to face Dabi and what he'd do with that knowledge.
The bright eyes stare at the screen with that comment. Anyone else, it would probably get under their skin, but Hawks is a pro-hero. He's not a stranger to what villains say about them. )
I spend more time at the office. And even before I got here, with you. I'd offer to show you when we get back, but I'm not sure my sidekicks would be too happy to see you.
no subject
Date: 3/9/23 00:43 (UTC)[don't be stupid. getting possessed by something "cute", hmph. as if he isn't "cute" enough already. nah, dabi knows there's no one who'd ever call him that outside of being sarcastic or teasing. works for him. there's nothing cute about him in the first place. and he'd rather not have someone or something else hijacking his body either.
hawks isn't someone so easily needled, so dabi doesn't feel like he's risking his comfort by giving him some villainous sass. it's not like the comment is a lie. government lapdop, trained hitman, a bird on a leash, all = hawks.]
I don't think I'd wanna go walkin into some hero's agency. Certainly wouldn't wanna walk into the HPSC buildin either. I heard ya sidekicks can't even keep up with you, though.
no subject
Date: 3/9/23 12:05 (UTC)For now, though: )
Nope. I set the bar pretty high when it comes to speed. Turns out hawks are pretty fast.
( Not that Dabi can see him, but he might be a little fluffed up in pride. )
no subject
Date: 3/10/23 00:45 (UTC)Ya don't say.
[his tone is as wry as his face. sarcasm straight through the text.]
So I take it ya don't actually mentor ya interns.
no subject
Date: 3/13/23 00:19 (UTC)The question makes one brow lift but he doesn't have a problem answering. It's not really a secret he rarely takes on interns. )
I'm not really interested in the whole "training the next generation" thing.
( A part of him worries that any intern he trains might be the one to fill his shoes for the commission, just like he had Tsutsumi's. He doesn't want to put that weight on someone else. )
no subject
Date: 3/15/23 04:55 (UTC)Oh yeah? Don't feel like you got anythin useful to teach them? Or ya don't wanna be responsible for another generation of hypocrites and failures?
[most heroes would love to leave something of themselves behind, a legacy so they'd always be remembered and their fame continue long after they're gone. but hawks?]
Or maybe ya just don't want anyone rememberin ya existed after you die.
no subject
Date: 3/20/23 14:59 (UTC)They're not even close to being at a point where they share their secrets, but he can be honest about a few, harmless things. )
My face is all over posters, toys, and trading cards. I'm not sure people would forget me that easily when I die.
( If anything, he imagines the commission will find a way to spin a story about him that'll make him harder to forget when he stops being useful. Just like they had with her. )
I've said it before. I just want to live in a world where people get the chance to relax. Heroes these days do too much, spread themselves too thin. They end up putting that onto their interns and side kicks, and I don't want to do that more than I have to. But maybe if I could teach my way, I'd change my mind.
no subject
Date: 3/22/23 21:52 (UTC)That a good thing or a bad thing for ya? You're so optimistic, but that's partially due to how little you think of yourself.
[the man who was raised in the slums by a pair of criminals. lifted up to be a secret dirty weapon by the heroes. trapped by his own life until a chaotic murder spree freed him of his shackles and an insane villain outed the reality of his story to the world. is it any wonder someone like hawks wouldn't think himself worth remembering?]
Ya know, it's a lot easier to relax if ya stop carin so much about other people, or society in general. You heroes feel some kind of obligation forced upon ya to help, when no one technically is able to tell ya to do so.
Heroes do too much by choice.