[ dabi is insane for allowing this, but he— in a fucked up way, knew how to read itadori. there was an unknown enticement that made him gravitate toward the villain from the second they started speaking, despite his past and future ambitions, regardless of all the obvious signs that begged him to turn away and never look back; itadori still persuaded him, unsure why but dabi had an influence over him. its starting to make sense now. dabi encouraged him to make a choice, to lead, taught him it's okay to be selfish, and we should have the freedom to do whatever we want. of course he wouldn't take it to a risky extreme, in the manner dabi navigated his life, but between itadori's reserve and dabi's defiance — there is a middle ground here, one where they can both drop their guard and fucking breathe.
it could be as simple as sharing a homemade meal, or as intimate as having sex. this is their safe space. no judgments, no forced opinions, no pity; a place where they are treated like ... well, humans. ]
Dabi ...
[ it didn't mean any of this is right, especially when dabi retaliated by tugging down on his pants, felt like the biggest 'fuck you' he'd ever seen. before any other word could drop out of his mouth, itadori was caught off guard by the abrupt jerk by the hair, tilting his head into it, while subconsciously pushing himself deeper against the other man. when he realized it was deliberate, and it wasn't a clumsy slip from his side, itadori's cheeks never lost their warmth, but they're certainly a shade darker. he's still— awfully rigid. not really rejecting dabi's advances, not returning them either.
stubborn, he withheld from acknowledging that command. his expression twists into one of discomfort, muscles strained for all the wrong reasons, shoulders quivering from the burden of it all. and then— there's pain? his eyes, all four, watch as his own hand gets consumed by a blue glimmer, searing hot, piercing through the thin layer of skin on the palm of his hand. the voice of reason advised him to yank his hand away, but itadori didn't, even when it hurts like hell. he is oddly pacified by it; all the scattered thoughts fell into a dead hush, and when dabi broke him out of the state of trance he was in— he's finally listening. he's paying attention.
again, itadori found himself being tamed by the other, with only a few words. he was then encouraged to lean closer— lashes hanging low over each eye, sedated by the tone of that man's voice. his fingers, despite the ache, curl against dabi's in a gentle squeeze. finally relaxing, pressing their bodies together, moaning into dabi's mouth as he dared to shift his hips forward; his free hand reached to grasp into the other man's hair. he barely allowed dabi to finish his remarks before he caught his lips again in a sloppy, hungry mess. it didn't linger, and itadori broke it off abruptly, shaking his head. ]
Okay, wait ...
[ for what? god, he's so out of it. half scowling, itadori reckoned if he rushed into it, he will only fuck it up again. sukuna's prints are still all over him, so he had to be careful not to give the curse the edge he's seeking. nice and easy. calm the fuck down, yuji. it was painful to watch the sorcerer go through this, specifically with the way he was watching the man under him; starving. another deep sigh, itadori chose to press his face against the curve of dabi's neck, somewhat embracing him. that's when he started— rocking his hips, hissing under his breath at how torturing it was to hit it slow, but it was also ... so fucking good. damn. even after everything he put him through, dabi is still so tight! every time he thrusts inside of him, he moaned, full-throated, lip-parted, eyes-closed, and almost lost the rhythm of their fucking. it started slow, but who is itadori kidding? it won't last for long, and he's already picking up the pace.
more forceful, harder, deeper—
he saw himself beginning to come apart, licked his lips before he dared to moan the other's name, abdomen clenched tightly as he decided to relief dabi's hair from all that abuse, instead blindly seeking his neglected cock between their bodies. ]
[think they've already established dabi is insane. insane enough to burn the world down if it means tormenting and ultimately murdering his own father. insane enough to continued fucking when there's a second set of eyes belonging to something/one else staring at him from his partner's cheekbones. thing is, he doesn't give a shit about those eyes. right now, he's focused on itadori and what itadori wants. despite the small time they've spent together, all of one text session and now, there's a curiosity about the guy that dabi leans into, finding his innocence and determination a strange mixture. he's never actually been this close to someone like that. to say nothing of interacting with them in this way. itadori's come after him regardless of the numerous warnings he's given the kid. and he finds that kind of stubbornness and "hell with it" attitude intriguing. the two of them may be akin to a moth and a flame together, but they have the freedom to make that choice, don't they. it's nice to be so free.
in the depths of those two moments, the flavors of a homemade meal just for him and the heat of itadori's body pressing against and into him, dabi could lose himself and forget everything else in this shit world except for the pleasure. and the guy beside him. it's a fucking relief to let everything else drop away.
his name ghosts above him and dabi exhales in response, hot breath wavering from his lips. it sounds good, his name on itadori's tongue. he wouldn't argue any of this being "right" save for the kid not completely fucking up the "how to" of sex for a first timer. could've spent a minute missing with his dick. there's no hiding the satisfaction on dabi's face when itadori gets the notion behind that sudden yank of his pants. it's very much a "fuck you" to everything else going on.
that fades as he drags him into the kiss, taking control for a moment despite his promise to let itadori run everything. the guy could use some firmer distraction to prove to him that dabi isn't going anywhere. tilting to deepen it, heated tongue sweeping out to run against itadori's lips and swipe across his teeth. a hard grunt puffs out of his throat as the kid drives himself deeper inside him and his legs tighten up on his hips to keep him right there. of course it was deliberate. he's making a point here.
he'd never once promised itadori he wouldn't burn him. the man is fire and though the show of that azure glow was more to remind the younger man dabi was no one to be worried over from a threatened standpoint, if the slight singeing was enough to abate his internal warring and worry (or shut up the whoever was looking out as well), then so be it. pretty sure itadori had ways of patching up a small burn later on.
as the heat leaves his hand and replaces by fingers and a warm palm sliding between his own and settling against his respectively, dabi's eyes linger on itadori's face, half noting his expression and half simply watching him come closer. taking in the details from his eyebrows to his lashes to the heat in his amber eyes. before finally shutting them, head dropping back as itadori settles against his body again. better. the kiss holds firm and he cards his fingers through the guy's hair, skimming pink spikes beneath his palm with a tickling rush. hips roll forward, a moan spills into his mouth, and fingers burrow into his hair as that heated, messy kiss shuts him up. just a moment before the touch breaks.]
Not goin anywhere.
[waiting is kind of out of his hands, pinned as he is and half-wrapped around itadori's body. he rests his head on the sheets again, dealing with some impatience on his own part. painful? not so much. irritable? more likely. he'd been close to the edge when all this started, the stop is aggravating. he tilts his head to the side as itadori presses his face against it and exhales in a mixture of satisfaction and pleasure as the kid finally starts to move again. they're going to have to talk about this is they want to do it again. abs tighten, his legs tighten, and dabi clenches up around him, letting itadori control the pace and movement as he rocks with him on the bed. could stay slow, but the lazy increase in speed is telling enough. his breathing picks up, heavier sounds that start to match itadori's rhythm. it feels good, really good once more. for all that interruption, the kid hasn't gone soft at all. fucking staying power.
harder thrusts, deeper penetration, rolling into his hips and pressing flush to him as he digs his fingers into the back of itadori's hand and curls his other into his hair. his name comes out again in a moan and dabi turns his head just slightly enough to see the kid's ear and back of his head from the corner of his gaze. he's heard his name a lot during sex, but... this one's gonna be one that sticks afterwards. as he fumbles his way from his hair down to his hips, dabi sucks in his breath, flat stomach sinking inward to give itadori access into the slick mess of his dick and hips. immediately regretting it because as soon as he gets his hand around his cock, dabi's breath shoves out in a curse. the combination of all of that swiftly starts coiling all of that pleasure and backed up sensation inside.
one thing left to do. turn his head more to get his mouth right next to itadori's ear and give him a final permission. before he wastes time asking the question.]
[ somehow, this felt like the last time they could ever be this close, and that thought alone made itadori want to hold on to it a little longer. it was a heavy burden on someone with no stamina and far too eager to begin with. in one point the strain was harsh enough that itadori let out a gruff sound, akin to a growl; shoulders tensed. he never had any complaints about dabi's warmth, understanding it's a reflex to his quirk, but it was inching into the uncomfortable level against his skin now. or, was it his own body? fuck, he didn't even know.
and then dabi had to consume what little trace of stamina he had left, by a few words heavily whispered behind a husky tone; that alone could've made him lose it. every time he thought it couldn't get any better than this, itadori is humbled by another sting, prodding to restructure what he deemed as a pleasuring excitement in his mind, introducing his senses into a whole other epiphany. slick pre-cum leaking from the head of dabi's prick as his hand matched the speed of his thrusts, another throaty growl escaped his lips as he gripped harder into their handhold, unaware of his fucking claws gouging between the other's knuckles; coating them in red.
— and fuck if that forcefulness didn't make itadori weak-kneed, didn't make him stretch up just to catch dabi's mouth in a hot kiss, feeding on it like an animal in heat. he tried to urge the other man's tongue into his mouth, to meet each nip with a few of his own, while he suckled dabi's lower lip before angling his chin up for more wet kisses. he finally released dabi's hand from the gory clasp, only for it to slither between the other man's back and around his waist, gripping their bodies close while he continued to fuck him with brutally hard strokes, withdrawing almost wholly, only the crown of his prick still gripped in dabi's heat, before shoving in to the hilt; as deep as their bodies would permit. the pace was savage, but it was clear he wouldn't last long like this. and yet, itadori plans to take advantage of that man to the last second.
yeah, he reached his limit. all the intensity melted away into pure bliss, his eyes flutter, rolling into the back of his skull as his vision blurred a little between the intense hotness spreading throughout him all. he made a soft, strangled sound while he came, and worked through it in a few, far slower, waning thrusts— spreading his mess inside of dabi and all over the bedsheets.
he might apologize later for it. maybe.
for a moment, he was so blinded by the raw ecstasy; a drunk-like smile paints his feverish face. he muttered something disordered, but it's evident itadori is in some kind of high, head above the clouds with how amazing everything felt.
the marks begin to wither away, those pair of eyes return to their slumber as the sorcerer eased into it. despite it all, he never once neglected dabi. if anything, with a clear mind, appreciating the view hits different now. he knew he's fucked the minute his eyes caught the others; aware that this image will be stuck in his head for a long, long time. ]
[it's not surprising that feeling pervades the younger man's sensations. dabi had already made it clear from the start this was a bad idea, even if it came more as a mocking suggestion than a truly declining damnation. and yet, here they were, not only with a text and phone call between them, but a meal homemade and consumed between them and an intimate action about to be consummated here together. dabi's no one to speak when it comes to stamina, his body received his mother's weak genes, unlike his two brothers. but the fire inside was strong. heating up as he was from itadori's actions and voice, he's unapologetic towards the other man sinking into the inferno that he embodies. nor is he at all inattentive to the heat radiating off his younger partner as well; the kid has a heat to him all that's his own... it's alluring.
as close as he is to finishing, he doesn't dare give itadori the chance to stagger and halt them both again with a doubt towards preference. straight up tells it to him, breathing the words into his ear as he drinks in the kid's panting breaths and whimpers of newborn pleasure. the bliss of having sex for the first time is that it eternally builds on itself, one better after another to that peak. his own body's already rushing for the same, stomach clenching inwards as the glassy emission spurts across his abs and decorates itadori's hand with sticky syrup. schlicking noises meld with the increased rhythm of their hips coming together with each thrust and dabi's somewhat impressed the other guy's got the brain power left to jerk him off and fuck him in tandem with each other. must be a natural...
pain--!! the sudden bite of stinging burn splits open the back of his hand; he's no stranger to getting scratched during sex. but there's a difference between nails and claws. part of itadori's "other" leaking out of him like those marks? ah but it's all right. unconscious trade paid back for burning the kid's hand with his flames. he bleeds red around his fingers and drips onto the sheets, but it's hardly a pain he'd flinch from. itadori's motions, the slide of his dick inside him, his lips on his mouth, they easily swallow up any discomfort into that coating of indulgent pleasure.
another kiss claims his mouth and dabi curls his fingers harshly into his hair, tugging at the roots as he all but strangles the teenager's hips with his legs. swears he's sucking out his breath with that kiss and there's a sultry eagerness in which the scarred villain accepts the encouragement to pour his tongue into the boy's mouth. not caring how wet it gets or how deep his tongue's able to go inside. tasting the faint flavor of their meal within his mouth along with the uniqueness of his own. teeth, tongue, gums, roof, and back out again to curl into his own mouth for a swallow. there won't be any bruising left on his burned flesh, but he still feels the pressure of nipping and sucking, and it's welcome.
nails slip from his flesh, his skin burns in relief, and dabi arches his hips up from the hand cupping beneath the diamond of his back. it presses his hand-enwrapped prick firmly into itadori's stomach and he deftly hikes a leg to drag a heel up to the small of his partner's spine. pressing down only enough to give him some pressure as his hips draw back and each inch slides out of him one after the other until the soft flare of his head nudges to the back of his rim. out? in? shove! fuck! it's almost bestial, slamming into him hard enough to make the bed rock and open his mouth with heated curses and grunts against itadori's lips. enough he can't even tell where he ends and itadori begins. any rhythm is gone as he feels the other man's pace climb towards the finish.
tension winds him tight like a charred bowstring, muscles seizing up as a vice around the sorcerer's prick. from that sudden rock-like hardening to the way he flares for a second as his heartbeat pounds in his veins. and everything bursts out. dabi's eyes fall shut, teeth baring between his lips as a seething hiss of ecstasy shoves his head back into the bed beneath him. heat pours inside as itadori comes and dabi's right there with him, abdominals crushing each other with every intense contraction sucking hard around the kid's dick and spurting lines of white across dabi's scorched flesh. making a mess inside and out, coating itadori's hand with the dwindling spurts of cream-hued dregs.
the villain's orgasmic shout dies to a louder gasp to a low groan and finally tapers off into a lust-drunk exhale. that's what he wanted. needed. the escape. nothing existed except for himself and itadori. blinded, deafened, struck numb, separated from everything save for the kid between his legs, in his arms, against his lips. a blissful escape. the kind of high that only the strongest of drugs can even hope to merely simulate.
slowly that seeps down from high to afterglow and dabi relaxes his death grip on itadori's body. drifting down with his partner into a sloggen mess on the bed. head dropped partially to the side, eyes closed and face flips, lips parted just enough to show some white and pink as that expression of pleasure washes over his face, what parts of his cheek remain still able to show the ruddy flush of arousal. only after a few more seconds of rest does he slit one eye open, gazing up at the younger man above him. he knows he'll be burning his visage into his mind's eye for life, but it's a small price to pay.]
[ it was not his intention to stare, but he couldn't be bothered to conceal it as well, lashes low, blinking slowly as one corner of his mouth hooked up into a slow smile. fucking hell, yuuji. at least try not to look like a lovestruck fool. he exhaled a puff of breath, his features slack, exhausted. his hair sweat-damp and clinging to his yet feverish skin. he didn't move to pull out; just let his prick go soft inside the other man— still enchanted by dabi's vulnerability. with a soft sigh, he tilts his head to the side as he raised his other hand, mindful not to use the one covered in cum, reaching up to touch dabi's cheek- ]
You're ... [ fingers cradle into the curve of his flesh, using his thumb to lightly brush over dabi's lower lip. and at that moment, the wheels in itadori's foggy mind started spinning, and he grasped that he's ... smearing blood all over the villain's face? fumbling on his words at the horror of it. ] ... uhh?
[ what.
dumbfounded, he spends a second flexing his tainted fingers for a better view, baffled on what the fuck happened? where did all this blood come from? a blink, then his gaze shifts to where dabi's hand rests on the bed, finally noticing those small, open wounds. it's coming to him now, and he groaned soon after. ]
Sorry. My bad.
[ while he does feel guilty, itadori is not dwelling on it either. dabi isn't someone who needed coddling. this type of trauma isn't something that would startle him, even when the sorcerer isn't so keen to pull this shit again. it earns him an apology, a sincere one, in spite of itadori doing it while smirking; the expression vaguely, helplessly fond. with one hand covered in cum, the other in blood— he had to admit that he fucked up in some areas, but it was still the best night of his chaotic life. that says a lot. finally, he pulls away, giving in to exhaustion as he collapsed on the other side of the bed, next to dabi, resting on his back.
he turns his head to face the villain. while the idea of dabi walking out of the door without saying another word is a huge likelihood, it didn't mean itadori is discouraged. if anything, there is no sense of urgency from his end, more content in sharing space and being next to him a bit longer. he will not force the other into anything, that's for sure, but what's the harm in reaching out? itadori persuaded him before, and he will do it again. ]
Dabi.
[ he'd wait for his attention, to meet those eyes again, and when he gets it. ]
[he's felt more eyes on him than he cares to count. more stares gawking at him than he wants to know. most of them in horror or shock, some in pity and disgust, a few in curiosity or interest. itadori's eye are one of the rare ones where he can actually feel... more than that. dabi's not sure he likes it. probably because he does like it. his single gaze isn't exactly dragging itself away from the kid's face either, noting the hang of his lashes and the red over his cheeks as an invisible breath puffs hot between glistening lips. looks... fucked. in the good way. exhausted and satiated, hair sticking to his forehead, spiked like dabi's but shorter with more spines.
uhn... that's a weird feeling. most partners don't let themselves go soft inside. but it kind of fits for itadori's first time. the heat in his body seems to wane a bit, going from a fireplace burn to a candle-soft warm. probably due to the afterglow seeping through him. obviously has nothing at all to do with that hand gently brushing his cheek and reminding him what he feels like to have someone treat him as a human instead of a monster or a thing.]
Yeah...? [leading off with that and trailing instead of finishing prompts a similar response as thumb paints a wet line across the charred purple of his lower lip. wet... oh yeah, the taste of copper makes it way into his mouth even as the realization dawns in itadori's eyes. really? he's looking horrified at a bit of blood when he's seen what he's seen and dabi's lying under him with more than half his flesh scorched to irreparable? psh... what a kid.
he doesn't even bother moving his hand to show him, letting the guy find the crimson stain radiating from the back of his hand on the sheets. there's a slight pain, more a sting from the piercing, but it's not bad. he's obviously endured far worse.]
Forget it. Shit happens plenty during sex.
[bruises, scrapes, bites, sometimes even serious injuries like a broken something or other. thankfully the kid doesn't linger on the issue and start getting teary eyed or offering apologies. the lack of coddling earns a small bump in acceptance. dabi's more noticing the expression on itadori's face, that doofy smirk of his that's too admiring and affectionate a look to be aimed at him. it'd been a good experience for him. the fumbling and mistakes made it memorable, something he wouldn't be able to wash out of his mind with other partners. itadori likely felt far better about it since it was a first.
and then the pull out. dabi grunts softly as itadori tugs free and collapses beside him while the villain works on rescuing his leg from being flopped on and trapped under the kid's hips. gives him some time to stretch his legs out from being hiked and wrapped around the young man's hips for so long. normally he would take a rest, then get up, dressed, and leave, but there've been other times where he adopted other habits. washing off, taking a nap, torching his partner, getting a drink, having a smoke. whatever. depended on the person and the location.
his name's not a surprise and dabi tilts his head enough to slide his eye to the corner of his lids. there's no rush on itadori's face or embarrassment/regret over what he just did. the next part, however, it somewhat surprising. not the first time he's been asked that, or the first time he's accepted. still not something he normally does on a "first time" meeting.]
[ no, it wasn't a sassy comeback; it was itadori's genuine answer. he would like to believe dabi is the type who wouldn't tolerate someone who's tiptoeing around his words and dragging it, coming off as dishonest and fickle. it's the first thought that came across his mind, and it is his first confession without any filter. regardless, the flow of his speech, and the easy smile on his lips promised dabi no obligation. not that the villain would break under peer pressure, far too strong-hearted to be easily influenced by a few sweet words, but he still didn't want to sound so — forceful. even when he is. itadori won't deny it, unbothered if it's not the perception of a hero-wannabe, to be so selfish by making this relationship one-sided. to keep asking more from dabi; more time, more attention, more favors.
'because I want to' — while it's candid, subtle, it's also very covetous. a fine thin line between two extremes.
itadori flexed his arms up, still lightheaded in the bliss of their afterglow. he then shrugged his shoulders, both hands resting on his abdomen; unmindful of their mess. ]
I always ... wanted to know what's it like to share a bed with someone. It might sound silly, but it means a lot to me.
[ another confession. there was also a nagging sense of uncertainty prickling at the back of his head, a reminder not to get too comfortable. itadori didn't have the freedom to wander on his own, seek refuge outside the walls of his school. he shouldn't be here, let alone risk getting caught breaking the rules. that's one, and the other reason, which is more obvious— dabi isn't harmless. to assume he earned his unwavering trust would be foolish. even for itadori.
and yet, he's still ... going to persuade him. as always. ]
[itadori's right in his belief. ironically, it's the kind of comeback dabi can respect. not having some sappy reasoning or excuse that might make for an emotional scene. just a selfish blunt "cause me" and that's it. selfishness isn't bad. someone being willing to be honest like that without hiding or couching their thoughts behind false glossing is more preferable to the bleeding heart. saying something about "needing a friend" or "being lonely" or another variable that suggests pity or aid would've gotten him out of bed and on his way to being out the door. instead, itadori goes the one path that gets the villain to scoff slightly in amusement before he stretches out on the bed, content to stay. those words might've come from a kind smile and the easy sway of the kid's good attitude, but their resolve is fair. itadori "gets" dabi enough. it's surprising and strange, but ultimately not something he finds himself regretting.
after all, isn't that what the villains have often said is one of the main problems? no one bothers to try and understand them. no one wants to spend the time to "get" them, as a person or to their motives. even if the person who's reaching out to him is a kind-hearted idiot who balances the line between selfish and selfless probably without even knowing he's doing it.
dabi's not quite sure how he feels about the proceedings. it's only been a conversation and a few hours. it's definitely not the first time he's slept with someone in their bed. stranger even. but it would be the first time he's slept beside someone who so desperately wants to care about him.]
Yeah.
[there's only the calm agreement rather than a curt dismissal of "do what you want" that would've separated them even in the bed. instead of making it seem like itadori's imposing on him and forcing it, the villain's offering his own acceptance. even admitting a silent want for the same. of course it's a warning to not get comfortable. there's just as much a chance as itadori stabbing him in the night with whatever's behind those claws as there is dabi cremating them both to ash right here on the bed. his flames are so hot, it would only take a second or two. but whether he's doing this because it means a lot to itadori or for some other reason... dabi's trying not to think about that.
[ itadori's breath felt stuck in his throat, too shallow. there's something about that question that caught him off guard, even when it was a typical conversation to get into after what they've done. he turns his head, staring up at the ceiling as he reflects on their first experience together; every second of it. a casual 'felt great!' is an insult— it was so much more. he just needs to find the right words.
he then shifts slowly, moving to sit up on where he's settled. by now all the warmth in his body is subdued, no longer flustered. itadori is sober enough to assure his words are honest, and not speaking out of emotions. ]
For a moment, I wanted to stop ... because it didn't feel like it was my own experience anymore. I thought I had no right to call it 'mine'. So ... I can't express how much I appreciate it when you reassured me that I'm all you see. It's still just you and me.
[ if the events unfolded differently, they wouldn't be sharing a space right now. it might be a simple reason to trigger such a reaction, but how could he not be heartsick after it? the prospect to be intimate with that man was unplanned for, to be able to take the lead, be in control and hold onto it as his own. something that belonged to him— and for it to be taken away would've been so painful after getting a taste of rare independence. itadori couldn't remember the last time he had a voice, or wasn't told what to do and where to go. while he never complained, nor did he find any wrong in the process— it still had an influence on him. a heavy burden on his shoulders; paralyzing.
dabi gave him everything he subtly craved for. reassurance, a warm body, pleasure, safety— acceptance.
he smiled, leaning forward just a little, and let one hand between them glide down, fingertips brushing dabi's hair away from his forehead. he'll apologize for smudging it in blood later. ]
It was special to me. You made it special to me, and it felt ... amazing.
[ he huffed a chuckle. what? he's allowed to share that side of their time together as well. the emotional aspect is covered, and now he will move on to the physical. which itadori felt more at ease covering this side of his answer. ]
You know, I never thought it could get that good? It was insane! Ah, I wish I had more stamina since I wanted to last longer. But it was impossible! You felt too good! And oh, I might have a thing with using my mouth ... I really enjoyed that part ...
[ a pause- ]
Maybe it wasn't the best for you, since you had your share of different partners. So, I'll help you clean up and attend to your wounds. You're still bleeding ...
[dabi's content to tuck his hand behind his head, not minding he's probably getting some mess up there. at least he has the presence of mind to not do that with his bleeding hand, content to leave that lying on the bed where it'd been since getting dropped there. the blood's already starting to clot on the holes and gum a little in the seam between the back of his hand and the sheets it's resting on. really, not the worst injury he's had by a long shot. considering that fucking old man almost broke his god damn neck with that kick...
he only moves his eyes to find itadori as he sits up on the bed, half wondering if he was going to leave or merely wanting to stretch. the afterglow's likely drifted into the comfortable state of feel-good-but-still-moveable. considering the lack of blazing heat on his face, seems the guy's more in control of his emotions now.
listening to the answer is surprising. mostly because of how much it sounds like it means to itadori. for something so simple to dabi as seeing just one person in front of him, it's probably not the same if you've got something or someone else inside. he wonders if it's like hawk's little black bird friend, with that shadowy creature inside him. always someone there... must be a real pain in the ass to never be alone even when you want to be. never knowing if you're the only one everyone else is seeing.
can't just be "you" anymore... not that dabi's ever had the chance to simply be "himself" since he was always forced to see himself the way endeavor wanted him to be. did he ever have his own "self" before? he can't be sure. or perhaps he doesn't want to answer that question now.]
Doesn't matter who tells ya what shit, you choose to be you. Makes every experiences your own.
[perhaps that's easier said than done for someone playing host, but that's what he's going to hold to. this is their conversation, their experience, their time. after all, itadori had warned him about some undefined danger and dabi can now make an educated guess as to what it is. but he's not walked out. because he frankly doesn't give a shit. he's met plenty of people who'd be terrifying in their own right and he's willing to murder them if push came to shove. he agreed to be with itadori despite that risk and doesn't have any reason to abandon that. of course, the guy didn't try to kill him...
but the experience remains itadori's. never once he dabi feel like someone else was in the room with them calling the shots. it was always the same kid, dealing with this new overwhelming pleasure and zoning right out from it. sex is never that beautiful, sensuous thing magazines and books try to display it as. it's hot, messy, intense, and frankly you might not even remember half of it. but their time together, itadori's first time, belonged to itadori. no one else was taking it from him.
but please keep all those really mushy thoughts inside. they'd make him feel really weird because when the fuck has he ever given anyone those kinds of feelings? a failure like him only brought disappointment, usefulness/uselessness, and anger. he didn't even get chummy with his allies in the league. well, maybe some of them he got on with better than others. but none of them would say he made them feel like itadori's silently saying dabi made him feel.
fingers brush at his hair and the villain keeps his partner in his gaze. special, huh. he turns his eyes away from itadori and gazes up at the ceiling.]
First time anyone's told me that.
[he never made his parents feel "special". only ambition, disappointment, pain, and annoyance. even his siblings couldn't understand him or ultimately grew tired of him. hell, the one barely even knew him. no one else in the league would say he made something 'special' by being there.]
It's pretty good. Sometimes can get even better. [the shift to the physical response is an easier topic to settle into. dabi chuffs in amusement.] Ya made it pretty long for someone who doesn't even jerk off. [kind of expected him to explode the second he stuck his prick in.] Ya mouth, huh. Sorry I ain't the kind ya can leave a buncha marks on.
[no hickeys for you, itadori. at least not on the neck and shoulders where most people would instinctively leave them. the little dip back into doubt earns a wry smirk and dabi runs his hand through his hair.]
Don't have best or worsts. But ya were definitely one I ain't forgettin. [which probably says a bit because dabi's the kind to forget a lot of things he has no use for remembering. but at the mention of his hand, he simply lifts his injured hand (breaking the clotting seal on the wound), and looks at it. normally he'd just torch his own hand and cauterize the wound shut to deal with later, but figures doing so would lead to itadori freaking the fuck out and still demanding he treat the injury.] Ain't got no medical kit in here, so unless ya gonna do it over the sink with water, I'm burnin it shut.
[ dabi deserves to hear it, not for the sake of stroking his ego, but more of itadori trying to create some balance in contrast to all the negativity that man heard throughout his entire life. true, dabi is no saint. he is worth condemning, hating, and being feared by society for his past actions. there are consequences for the choices he made, but how can we neglect the key question of 'what went wrong?'. the broadcast begged its viewers to ask this question, even when dabi's objective isn't to seek sympathy; it was more of crushing the trust on heroes. one might say he attained that goal, or maybe it was a miss. it didn't matter to itadori. in the end, he chose to use it as a foundation in understanding that man better.
he is not— malicious? when they coexist outside their ideology, dabi's ambitions and itadori's society, he gets to see someone else entirely. it's not an infamous villain and a murderer. it's just ... dabi. there is more to him than his troubled past and enmity towards heroes. why can't they separate the actions from the person? and with such a fond thought, his following words missed to match. ]
I used to jerk off. I have some experience, you know!
[ why did he even share that out loud? he squints at the other, lowkey blaming him for the slip because he can! his expression eased when dabi confessed that he wouldn't forget about their time together and— really, it's his fault if this kid grew attached to him. for someone who didn't know the art of being bashful and chill, itadori straightened his back with a smug grin on his face. ]
Not so bad for your first time, Itadori Yuji! Not so bad.
[ before dabi could take this moment from him, the sorcerer pushed his weight off the bed, and as soon as his feet touched the ground, he flexed his sore muscles. he stretched his arms forward, held it for a second, before they drop dead to each side with a heavy sigh. if he had a choice, he'd rather curl up against dabi's warmth, nestle under the blanket and surrender to his exhaustion. that sounds so tempting. alas, being covered in dried sweat/blood/cum didn't fit that perfect image. it is fated to ruin the mood at some point.
so, he nods towards the bathroom's door- ] You're right about the medical kit, so let's just rinse out the blood and clean up at the same time.
[ after everything they've done, sharing a shower is pretty timid. ]
[oh he obtained that goal. but apparently endeavor wasn't down for the count. he didn't go fucking far enough. didn't hit him hard enough. that was all right though. the suffering the man's going through, the complete smear of his career is unrecoverable. shattered. some might say he killed endeavor that day. well if he killed endeavor, then so be it. now he'll go for enji todoroki himself. if his family's smart, they'll stay the fuck out of his way. except for shouto. dabi wouldn't mind murdering that perfect little puppet in front of his father's eyes. just to watch him see all his ambitions he poured into touya's replacement go up in flames he'll never be able to achieve. are you proud of me now, father? is this hot enough to make you fucking look at me now? look at me until your eyes boil out! and yet for all of that seething rage and hatred, despite knowing that much about him... itadori's chosen to stay.
stay and say those things about him. it's strange to even hear someone to voice them. that pure desire to know him more and understand, without letting him go diving into his fires to spew vile at him about his father. just some random mystery guy who thinks dabi's a pretty interesting person. not a villain or an insane shit or even an ugly charred monster. he treats him like a human being.
it's a rare experience.]
Wow. Ya so cool now, kid.
[far less mocking and more languid teasing. rubbed him wrong enough he felt the urge to blurt that out huh? amazing. dabi ignores the blaming squint and lifts a shoulder in a dismissive shrug. blame him all you want; you're the one that said it, itadori. the nonchalance, however, falters somewhat when the other guy sits up all straight and preening and... fucking congratulates himself out loud. first you get defensive about your jerking off experience, and now you're awarding yourself?]
I take it back. You're an idiot.
[which yuji has not only confessed to but accepted and carried on with his life. which carried him right off the bed as well. good thing he got those damn pants off him earlier or he probably would've tripped over them and fell. dabi rolls his head to the side, watching in mild interest as itadori stretches, eyes wandering over the built-yet-slender musculature flexing beneath his skin. the dried fluids on him didn't detract much from the sight. hmph... next time, dabi's fucking him into the bed. decided.]
How efficient. [heaving a sign, the villain slips out of bed and stretches his arm over his head, grabbing at his elbow to pull it. legs pull a bit, thanks to being wrapped around itadori's waist for half the fuck. but despite all his scars and staples, he doesn't seem at all bothered to walk the room naked. at first he'd been self-conscious about his scars, hiding away after stumbling off the mountain burning and cooking. but hiding them was impossible, so he left them open casually and wore what he wanted, soon getting used to the reactions they got from other people. worth it.]
Ya ever cleaned a wound before? [right, sharing a shower between them was mild compared to what they'd just done. then again, shower sharing is more intimate than a rough fuck, but whatever. he'll do it. just... might take a few minutes for the water to warm up since this is a dirt cheap motel. unless itadori wants to go for a bath. dabi'll scowl over being a water heater, but will begrudgingly acquiesce if it goes that route.]
[ it's his turn to give a dismissive shrug of his shoulders. itadori had accepted not being the smartest guy in the room, and would often express annoyance when his opponent aims for the head. as if he needed any further incitement to be dumber than he already is. well, at least he won't worry about dabi going for his head, assuming he's not fan of throwing fists to begin with. he'll just— focus on not getting burned alive. yes. ]
I have, but I'm not good at it.
[ at least he's honest?
itadori isn't the type to pay attention to details, and when it comes to treating his own injuries, he's pretty negligent of following the necessary, tedious steps. all that matters is that he stops the bleeding, gives his body no excuse to lose consciousness, and then moves on with his day. when it's the other way around, and he's treating others— it's a different story. ah, the hypocrisy. in dabi's case, the lack of proper tools made it hard to clean those open wounds, make sure they won't get infected before applying the bandages. they will have no choice but to rinse them under the shower, and then scorch them shut.
he watched as the other man switched on the shower; observed as the water came gushing out, the pressure is average, but it's surprisingly clear. itadori half-expected to deal with an odd color, mixed with dirt and gunk— considering the low budget of this motel. as they wait for it to warm up; a few lazy steps brought him closer, arms finding their way around dabi's waist from behind, bodies pressed against each other. itadori kept his gaze on the running water, resting his chin on the man's shoulder as he spoke. ]
... This place is falling apart.
[ not only they can see the old age of the building from the poor structure of the bathroom walls, but it's also evident they haven't cleaned it after the previous guests. then again, he won't bitch about it. if it's the only place dabi felt safe in, where no one would recognize him, it's good enough. he leans his head against dabi's as he held him, eyes closed. itadori didn't let him go, not until the steam started fogging the small space, and that's when he finally relaxed his arms; reaching out to adjust the temperature before he, carefully, stepped under the warm flow.
there is barely room for another person here, but— whatever. ]
I have a feeling we gonna' run out of hot water soon ...
[dabi has been a little surprised at itadori's lack of smarts and common sense? this guy, as far as he's managed to suss out from hints and shit, is doing something academically. but with his show of intellect, or somewhat lack thereof, it makes him wonder what kind of school. obviously one where itadori can excel even without being the smart kid in class. but he's right in dabi's preference for non-physical. he's pretty weak in his own opinion, thanks to inheriting his mother's pathetic genes. itadori could take him out in one hit if he got in close enough. probably wouldn't even have to get to half his strength.]
Don't worry about it.
[he can patch himself up without a problem. he's always taken care of himself after the mountain fire. treating his own burns, cleaning his own wounds, stapling his own flesh, occasionally burning himself on purpose if it was needed. not that he'll be showcasing any of that since there's no first aid kit to be had. at least they can wash off and he can cauterize it. (though he is mentally checking the rest of his body for any other cuts. there's gonna be bruises on his hips at least. itadori's got a singed hand.) sex without any kind of ache isn't common if you're just going to blow off steam. least the kid can go home with some mark of pride rather than feeling glum about only leaving the on dabi.
hmph... maybe he should bite him before he leaves.
the shower knobs are cold under his hands, the old plus-shaped metal knobs giving away the age of this place's setup. hell, even when they're knocked off, seems like the motel goes out of its way to replace them with crummy cheap shit. well, keeps the cost down. or they simply like the atmosphere. easy to abandon if need be. water spurts and coughs from the shower head a few times as the temperature changes and the hot water heater kicks in. luckily they escape from getting a bunch of dark water on their faces.
arms find their way around his waist and dabi turns to look at itadori from his shoulder. that's not exactly a sensation he's felt... ever. it's quickly muted by a strong body pressing up against his own, but the feeling remains. it's not some reach around jerk off or even a sex-laded drag backwards. an embrace. when's the last time he had someone simply put their arms around him for the sake of holding him and nothing more? those sensations are quietly shocking enough that he doesn't answer right away.]
... With the company they keep, ain't surprised.
[it's less they don't recognize people and more they don't care to remember or know. at least the shower's not a blood-splattered mess when they get there. when itadori leans his head against his own, dabi tilts his head to the side with a small frown. not that he can go too far is the sorcerer chases his head cause he's a stubborn idiot. bleh... don't get all nuzzly with him. he's not a cuddler at first. but in compromise, he's not shaking the guy's arms off his waist. with the shower hot enough, dabi steps to the side, letting itadori get in first to have a few moments to rinse off by himself. then gets in---squeezes in---with him. he's a bit more of a mess than itadori, but doesn't seem to mind the close proximity as he starts rinsing off.]
It's fine.
[he can at least warm the area up in spite of the colder water.]
[ he wouldn't be surprised if dabi decided to elbow his gut, very much aware this isn't something he would encourage. it's evident by now, regardless of itadori's good intent, he is also greedy. one might say a bit pushy as well, but never forceful. it's true there's something about the other man's attention that's almost addictive, captivating— it beckoned itadori in, giving him a false sense of entitlement. he should be careful about that.
it's a tad cramped, making it hard for them to avoid each other's eyes. it wasn't awkward, oddly so, itadori found comfort in their silence as they cleaned up. he didn't reach for the bar of soap yet, instead settling on caressing his hands under the stream; rinsing them. he wasn't even aware on when his gaze started to drift lower, tipping his head with a subtle frown when those blemishes on dabi's hips caught his attention. let's add another note: be careful with your strength next time.
— next time? ah, he wondered if that's possible under their circumstances. they were merely lucky tonight. ]
I think we should talk about boundaries. [ he finally broke the peace. ] I think we both agree on keeping our own affairs private. It's a pretty easy agreement to make since we don't clash.
[ this triggered a random thought in the back of his mind, something he'd been considering for a while. he had a feeling the hero society might be aware of jujutsu sorcerers since the japanese government is involved. it's a wild guess, from a kid who didn't have the brains to defend his theory. he just assumed the government wouldn't gamble on keeping the heroes, which is another significant asset to them and their security, oblivious by other threats within the community, right? would that mean some villains are aware of it too?
for now, he didn't need to repeat himself and express his opinion of dabi's part in the hero/villain friction. or, remind him that he— wish to be blinded of it. itadori felt like a coward to act this way, pay no attention towards a man who is motivated to ruin many lives, spread fear and animosity. it won't be easy, yet it's a promise he plans to keep. ]
I'll ask for one thing. Give me a heads-up if you choose to stop seeing me. Don't disappear.
[ was it a cruel judgment to make of dabi? that man spent most of his life on the run, leaving people behind who are deemed useless, and just because he was kind to itadori tonight— it didn't mean he wouldn't be treated the same. as someone expendable once the curiosity lost its spark. itadori is not here to entertain, carry a show for the sake of keeping dabi interested. all he can offer is a warm meal, friendly company, and lend an ear. pretty mundane things. not dabi's type.
with the bar of soap squished between his hands, he lathers them up; his mouth quirks. ]
Let me guess your boundaries. No fluffy feelings, right?
[attraction. it's been... never, since he's felt that from someone else. not the physical attraction that reaches for a jaw or well-shaped eyes or even the sculpture of muscle. but attraction towards the whole. itadori's attracted to him. his attitude, his presence, his looks, his ability to be removed from whatever the kid's life is dragging him through. kind of a rush to know he's capable of giving someone relief like that without torching them out of existence.
maybe... maybe he doesn't mind it so much at the moment. itadori's never demanded or pushed too hard. the entire interaction has been positive. thus, he gets away with his arms around dabi and those more intimate motions. for the most part. he's not stopping the touches to his hands, letting itadori turn them over in his hand, clean between his fingers, inspect the damage, even as they stand more or less pressed together under the water running out of the shower head. it's not hard to feel his eyes wandering down his body, looking at the mixture of clean skin and scars.
dabi takes a few of those silent moments to look at---really look at---itadori's face. his eyes, the scars, the emotions that rest behind them. for all his light-heartedness, he carries a huge weight inside him. enough he reaches out to strangers for some sense of relief from it. likely the very core of reason behind his desire for dabi not to get involved. hn... easy enough. he doesn't have time or attention for itadori's realm's problems. got enough here. speaking of.]
That's been the agreement since the start.
[dabi's not told itadori about anything he hasn't seen on the news or in the video. and similarly, despite the occasional prod, dabi's not learned anything about itadori's whatever. which is fine for the most part. he really doesn't like people knowing something he doesn't, especially when those things might involve plans behind the scenes. but he's compromised silently and respected itadori's request not to pry for the sake of not poisoning their time together with their private affairs' shit. it's only the potential clash that might happen that keeps a wary person like dabi curious.
if there are other villains aware of the jujustu sorcerers, that information's been kept at a very close guarded secret. so far no one in dabi's section has heard of it, despite the league joining with the liberation front. perhaps all for one knows about it, because he's all for one, the once king of the underworld. but so far, nothing. it's likely kept to an as-needed basis for the heroes. after all, who really would care if a villain got crunched to death by a curse in the alleyway? at the same time, it's the villains who would likely be the ones causing and generating much of those negative emotions.
perhaps it's for the best. there are many of those downtrodden by society who---if made aware of curses and jujutsu sorcerers---would eagerly jump towards becoming curse users, if not wouldn't sit down and instantly start cranking out so much hate and despair so as to create more misery and attack the heroes with this new power. then again... how many already superpowered heroes wouldn't adopt into the jujutsu sorcerers power and skills and seek to ally to fight the new enemy. they are heroes after all.
it's not cowardice so much as choosing the devil he knew over the devil he didn't. dabi hasn't looked down on itadori for not speaking to him about it. of course, if he tried to interfere with the villain's path, they would clash. perhaps he might not want to kill itadori as callously as he would have before, but... ultimately, revenge is far more important to dabi than a fuck and a friend.]
Not really smart of me to contact ya if I'm plannin on disappearin. [wasn't a cruel judgement at all. it was accurate. he's dropped more important people for less even faster. and normally he kills people he has no intention of seeing again. burning off the loose ends.] But I'll give ya a heads up.
[if only for the meal and the sex. as suds lather up between itadori's fingers and dabi thinks over his own boundaries, he ultimately reaches up and adds his hands to the other guy's hands, letting him work lather over them as well. the water's not coming fast enough, so a mutual soaping won't be a problem. as for himself... dabi gives itadori a flat look at the comment and takes over running the suds along his shoulders and neck. staying in the shower for a long time isn't a preference. it... does things to his scarred flesh that make it kind of gross. still... he does kind of want to stick around in here with itadori for a while, so it might be worth the result.]
Ya can get all the fluffy feelins ya want. Jus' don't expect me to mirror them.
[fluffy is not a word used to describe dabi. and it's a joke if itadori's suggesting he'd be able to curb his own feelings while being with dabi. kid's gonna be fluffy no matter what dabi says to him. so why waste the time fighting that losing battle?]
I laid out my boundaries already. If ya wanna meet, we'll set it up right before. No 24 hr or longer plans. We meet alone, but I ain't settin a time limit once we're together. [that can stay flexible. whether it's an hour or they end ups doing a sleepover, whatever.] Only other thing is don't expect me to be on call for ya. I ain't pickin up the phone if I'm busy.
[ 'it's not cowardice so much as choosing the devil he knew over the devil he didn't.' this. this right here— is why he's already attached. dabi gets him without spoken words. within their silence, he understood itadori's dreads, didn't mock him for it. in dabi's nonchalant behavior, it had less bite into it and more leniency. the changes aren't insignificant either, as he's no longer making excuses and instead consoled to be open about what he wants. the threat persists, itadori's careful, but no longer fearful. that's saying a lot. ]
We deserve to hear a goodbye, right?
[ while it was tempting to use that opportunity to change dabi's mind, because itadori is fucking selfish and wouldn't want to respect that man's wishes if that time comes— but he knew that's not how it works between them. they are both gambling with their lives every single day, they both had purposes that are deemed far more important than chasing some fever dream. however, if they somehow make it, if dabi didn't grow tired of him before his execution date, or didn't end up dead himself, itadori will dare to call it a happy ending.
the water started losing force, and it is also losing its warmth. it's mildly bothersome, yet itadori is sedated as he watched their hands brush against each other; one corner of his mouth perked up into a slow smile. smitten. sure, it was a tease, those fluffy feelings. or, that's what he thought the second he said it. now that he thinks about it, staring down at his own hands as he missed dabi's touch— he realized it was a reflection on what his subconscious is already aware of. ]
... I don't expect you to return it. You really can't force that kinda thing ...
[ as dabi continued clarifying his other boundaries, itadori thought about what kind of feelings he had for dabi. was it romantic? is it a silly crush? no. those concepts seemed far too empty. the guilt he carried by turning a blind eye to the villain's resolve might have to do more than his fear for the innocent civilians. there is a sense of culpability towards the man before him. it's like watching someone you care about self-destructing, digging his own grave, and all you can do is shrug it off and declare 'it's not my problem'. how can guilt and attachment harmonize together so perfectly?
that's when the water's temperature begun to drop; not yet freezing, but very uncomfortable. itadori glanced toward the other, sighing softly. if they had the option, he would've wanted to attend to his hair as well, but he's fine with getting all the dried mess taken care of for now. he brought a hand up to smooth over a scarred cheek, lightly curling a few hair strands behind dabi's ear as he leaned in for a chaste kiss; nothing more than a brush of their lips. ]
Got it. When you're not so busy, return my calls then. Don't just stare at your notification and do nothing.
[ he then turns to the side, careful with his balance as he stepped out of the shower and reached for the towel. it looked ... decent? no visible stains. let's not try to inspect if it's clean enough, or smell it, he'll just — take a leap of faith and start drying himself; attending to his drenched hair first and then down to his arms and shoulders. he's not dismissive of dabi, if anything, he kept his focus on him the whole time. he wondered if he's bothered by the cold water at all — or is it another blessing of his quirk? ]
[dabi's made it part of his life to understand people. look into them, see what he can glean from their actions and words. he's a wary person and doesn't trust others. words are easily faked and actions can be controlled. what matters is time and keeping an eye. early on, he realized itadori was honest and could thus trust his words and actions. it didn't do the kid any benefits, but made it easier for other people to believe him. what problems he had weren't dabi's concern. he'd gotten over mocking him for his naivety. especially since some of that naivety made tonight a fair thrill, what with itadori throwing excuses to the wind and accepting that encouragement to go for it without holding himself back. there's a time and place for caution and a time and place for pouring out everything. fear's got no place in either.
deserve to hear a goodbye? dabi merely cants his head to the side, giving him a look that said the opposite. "deserve" around him is a tricky slope. since he already got so much he'd never think he'd "deserve" and yet there it is. all over his body. and his father remains at the top, despite deserving nothing less than life imprisonment. who deserves anything?]
Ya want a goodbye.
[it's fine if itadori wants to be selfish around him; dabi has no right or reason, much less ability, to control that. he's already warned him and retreated, but the sorcerer keeps coming, so much that it's simply not worth the effort to tell him no. itadori can do as he pleases; that means nothing to how dabi reacts. pure as that. maybe the kid could stand to be fucking selfish for once. instead of tossing his life around like it's nothing, trying to save everyone he can and yet sticking himself as nothing more than a cog in a machine. funny thing about cogs... they're small and overlooked, but if one of them breaks, the entire structure grinds to a halt and ultimately collapses in a broken heap. if not, that cog obviously wasn't doing shit and never should've been there in the first place.
dabi's aware he's no longer the cog, but the fucking wrench. his father wanted him to be a hammer, but nope! far more enjoyable to throw himself in there and watch everything crumble around him. might be a gamble, but he's gambled before. hell, his very existence was a gamble, created to inherit power and achieve what endeavor couldn't. his gamble failed. too bad for endeavor it didn't die.
whatever ending he winds up with, likely none of them have itadori in them. the kid has his own life to tend to, far more important things to do than get himself involved with a villain drunk on revenge.
one touch after another, water losing its weight and warmth. he ignores it easily, eyes training on itadori's hands as they move with his own. touching each other and spreading the soap along the curve of shoulders or the cut of collar bones. further down to the sculpture of musculature that's different for both of them, a cable for itadori and a wire for dabi. but his hands are warm... even without a quirk, itadori's hands are warm. does he miss that warmth? not particularly. would he mind having it on him again? ... no. kinda liked it.]
Don't worry. [in that dismissive tone which implies he's gonna say something that'll be opposite the words he just said.] If I die, you'll hear about it pretty quickly.
[yep. definitely something not to worry over. check the papers for the obituaries or the headlines. dabi won't die a pathetic unknown out in the wilderness where no one knows. even if he does, his little brother will probably interrogate the whole damn villainous army on his body's whereabouts. shouto's an emotional little shit who'd chase him to the end of the world if he could.
stand aside and watch me burn. basically what he's telling the other guy to do. this isn't itadori' business or his concern. without knowing anything else about the kid's background or what he's doing, dabi can't hold any preference on itadori's own well-being. apart from mildly being interested in knowing if he's dead or alive, the villain couldn't give much of a shit. without a use for his plans within him, itadori's mostly an escape from his stress and life. which, ironically, he'd be pissed about losing. at least he can admit to that even if it's only been one conversation, a meal, and a fuck. hmph... something he'll have to think about in a little bit.
what itadori feels when he touches dabi under the cold water should tip of him to that question following him in the shower. his scarred body isn't shivering a shred and his skin continues to feel quite warm to the touch. this is the curse of his pathetic mother's genes... instead of developing a resistance to high temperatures like his father, dabi received his mother's resistances to freezing temperatures. and with that furnace of a quirk inside him, doubly resistant to cold. albeit meaning he's physical clashing in compatibility with his own quirk; his body couldn't handle the heat of his own flames and thus overusing them cooks his flesh and body from the inside out. a cold shower like this is nothing.
he accepts the kiss, not leaning into it much, but still returning it with a slight tilt of his head. no real regret for missing out on a hair wash. asides from some sex tousled fluff, it's not like either of them had much mess up there. soaking in the water did it well enough. dabi lets his hands slide off itadori's body in the meantime, giving him permission to leave as he's planning. he'll take a few more seconds in the shower to ensure a rinse off is complete, eyes following the other guy. true, he could've heated the place up easily enough, but they're not at that stage to where he'd use his quirk as some gentle benefiting space heater.]
Ya worry too much. [telling him what to do and all. might stare at the notification and do nothing for the first time or two just to be petulant.] I'll get to ya when I'm able.
[that's all he'll give. at least the towel is clean. this place does have a washer/dryer somewhere in the building. dabi steps out after those few seconds and snags a towel from the counter. wasn't in there long enough for his skin to get weird, though it has soften a little around the edges where the seams meet. enough you could probably peel it if you wanted. there are areas on him where the burned flesh and healthy aren't entirely joined, particularly the areas between the staples. raw flesh lies beneath, peeking through if things stretch too far in the wrong direction. it'll dry out soon enough and be safer to manage.]
Ya did well. I liked it. So next time- [and tosses the towel onto the door as he heads from the bathroom.] -I'm topping.
[ and then, out of nowhere, dabi's words would sting, humbling itadori back to his place. he knew that man is so haunted by revenge to think of any other way to find some relief to all the hatred fuming from within— behind it all, reality is: dabi is hurting. how could anyone find peace when they're holding onto the past and resentment the way he did? how could anyone be happy like this? dabi didn't seem to care about anything but his retribution. it ultimately left him alone. he will die alone too. and itadori will hear it on the fucking news, huh.
as he stood there, somewhat chewing on his lower lip, in a way muffling back the urge to say something. after taking in a deep breath, itadori shakes it off, watching as dabi stepped out of the shower. the changes in the burned flesh are subtle enough to dismiss, not like itadori is attentive to the small details. still bitter about the previous comment. whether it was intentional or not, the deflection toward their sexual experience served as a good distraction; sobering him up from the rut he was in. such a simple mind yuji has. ]
... For real?
[ he hasn't pursued him out of the bathroom yet, frozen. a bit startled with the possibility of them being intimate again. despite how comfy itadori is with touching, holding, and being 'fluffy' with that villain— he sincerely thought this was as far as they can go, and tonight was an exclusive generosity. he truly believed their upcoming hangouts will be nothing more than sharing a meal, and — found peace in it. therefor excuse him, while he stares at a random wall; the wheels in his head slowly turning and making sense of everything. dabi wants to do it again? with him?
hastily he dropped the towel, ran his hands through his hair to neaten it, heart hammering. his fingers danced with nerves, twitching, shifting, flexing— ]
Okay!!!
[ he blurted out, forcing himself to take the chance and not surrender to his doubts. yes, he almost lost control tonight, but he didn't. itadori chose to take it as an encouragement and have some faith that it will stay this way the next time. now that he consented, he can't take it back. it's done. they're doing this when the time is right.
god, why is his heart still pounding in his chest? with a heavy huff, he leaned down to pick up his boxers from the pile of clothes on the floor, finally covering himself. his gaze shifts towards a nearby closet, upon unlocking it— let's say he didn't expect this shitty motel would offer an extra pair of bedsheets to their guests, which is something they desperately need. after all, they have left their marks on the bed. ]
If we're doing it again, let me know in advance. I'll need to bring some stuff along.
[ the old bedsheets are yanked off, joining the hoard of clothes on the ground, and with some quick work— itadori spreads the new ones, running his fingers over the mattress to smooth it over, getting those edges tucked in; pillows fluffed. by the time dabi pays attention to him again, he'd find the sorcerer chilling on his side of the bed, legs crossed, waiting for him.
with a lighthearted smile, he gestures for the other to come closer. ]
[revenge is a disgusting thing. he started out split down the middle, with his father demanding and affirming that touya would be the greatest hero who ever lived, who would surpass all might and endeavor. over and over, you are my greatest success, filling him with his father's ambitions. and then one day, when those burns were still fresh on his little body, his father told him the truth: you can't. you're only a failure. stop trying. and abandoned him. he watched him try to replace him over and over. fuyumi. natsuo. more failures tossed to the wayside. and then little shouto. endeavor's ultimate success and the pride of his life. the final nail in touya's coffin for ever getting back his reason for living. his existence forfeit. a final last-ditch effort to show his father he really could be the pillar he wanted and forge that future and destiny endeavor engraved in him so hard touya never developed one of his own. that one lingering chance... his father never showed up. and touya died.
yeah. tell yourself that doesn't hurt. tell yourself that wouldn't drive anyone insane to have their reason for being extinguished. failure. useless. annoyance. worthless. LOOK AT ME!!
there's nothing left for him to care about. anything new that tries to press in meets the same flames within him. an azure domain that burns and burns and burns everything it touches to ash. cares. emotions. bonds. people. it's all gone inside. itadori'll hear about it on the fucking news because that's what dabi's good for: the sensation of revenge.
it's strange that yuji wants to reach into that hellish realm inside dabi and try to find something to grasp onto and save. hell, protect. but he'll only burn his hand black. they both want things, but at such a diametrically-opposing direction it's impossible to bring into alignment. and yet... there's weight inside itadori that dabi can almost feel. something damaged and hurting. it's not the thing inside him either; it's the kid himself. why else reach for a stranger? why else would a simple comment send him spiraling? simple, yeah. naive, definitely. stupid, of course. human? ... so very tenderly human.
dabi eyes him as he walks past, noting the surprise in his voice and expression as he passes. so eager to jump onto that pleasure all over again and forget the burdens inside. hmph. at least itadori still possesses the ability to be selfish. it's almost attractive.]
Uh-huh.
[the eldest todoroki son has his standards despite being willing to sleep with trash on the same level as dabi and even lower. he'll kick someone out or burn them up (the more likely) if they aren't worth an 'again' with him. itadori is worth more than one 'again' with him. whether it's meeting him for a meal or a fuck, there's something about him that dabi's silently caught. like a shining piece of unknown he can hold in his hand all for himself. not attached to any hero or villain, not involved(ish) with his life or ambitions, but instead a confusing, attractive, curious escape that dabi can't make any use of other than being able to selfishly keep all to his own.
he wants to do it again. wants to eat with him again. wants to see him again. you know, within limits. dabi's not a friendly guy even with the allies he's made in the league. still a lone wolf.
...did he just try to neaten his hair? swore he caught a glimpse of that in the mirror right out the corner of his eye. che, idiot. cute, but idiot. there's still things they have to deal with, but dabi's fine with that. keeping their lives and issues separate from each other leaves them able to focus only on the things generated between them. itadori didn't lose control tonight either and had sex. a big middle finger to whatever fears or blocks he had before keeping him from enjoying that part of life. another person dabi might say he corrupted, but itadori? ... tsk, the kid's so light all dabi can really say is that he managed to free him. in one little area. oh well. sometimes it just takes one rock to bring the house down.
he kicks his boxer briefs out of his pants and then up into the air, catching it in one hand before putting them back on. not really one to sleep in the buff, this is more comfortable. dabi's a bit surprised to see itadori returning with clean bedsheets. didn't expect that. but he accepts it silently and goes to tug the sheets of along with him, taking a moment prior to strip the blanket away before they got some of the mess on that. don't have to change everything.]
What kinda stuff?
[he's assuming lube and perhaps condoms, though it's not like they used one tonight and likely wouldn't use one in the future. maybe some cleaning wipes? he's assisting in changing the bedsheets and so mentally pictures itadori coming to the next meeting with clean sheets in a bag. wow. wouldn't that be like him... leaving the other guy to deal with making it all pretty, dabi heads to the window to slide a finger through the slats, just enough to open it and take a peek outside. as expected... nothing. could do with a smoke right now, but considering who he's with, hmph, guess he'll pass.
by the time he turns back around, itadori's done and dabi eyes him with a curious look at the clean-made bed and his partner sitting there like a little kid with a gentle smile. you really aren't someone who should be hanging around me... said that before and he still thinks it. too bad he knows now itadori's too stubborn to listen. leaving the window, dabi moves back to the bed and kneels on it, moving to just behind the other boy.
he catches him on the top of his head, fingers curled in his hair, and lightly--bur firmly--draws back, tilting itadori's head backwards. just enough he's left staring at the ceiling until dabi leans over him and kisses him upside down. there's the faintest trace and taste of smoke on his tongue, free hand cupping the sorcerer's throat.]
Lube and condoms. We need it, right? We just made a huge mess ...
[ yeah, dabi got it right. it was extremely tempting to give in to exhaustion as he relished the bliss of their afterglow, and itadori is still annoyed that he had to break it off and attend to the shower instead. it's a learning experience, so next time he will come prepared. well— if he ever gets the heads-up. you can't always plan out those things. sometimes it just happens.
his gaze shadowed dabi's steps, turning his head to glance back at first, only to be coaxed by a firm tug at his hair. itadori asked no questions, aired no protests, merely complying with it. the pressure on his throat might make someone feel restless, especially with the way his neck flexed, bare, far too vulnerable under the mercy of a man who had blood on his hands. was it blind trust, or foolish devotion? maybe a mix of both.
... oh, that was— cute. he could almost see sparks striking behind his closed eyelids, tipping his chin upward, embracing the kiss with parted lips. itadori didn't dare to move when dabi broke it off to speak, not even an inch. he stares at the other from this peculiar viewpoint, lashes low. his blood has warmed up, and is just roaring hot through his veins. why? because this is the first time dabi reached for a touch, seemingly growing more relaxed around him. in contrast to how their night had started, watching the man right now just felt so—
what was it again? is it 'calming'? 'heartwarming'? itadori couldn't specify it into a single word. it's a mad rush of several emotions all at once. he leaned in again, tongue flicking a line to bisect dabi's lips before kissing the edge of his mouth. ]
Am I? ... Sorry. Tolerate it.
[ gently, he relaxed his neck, sitting up a bit as his arm stretched back to curve around dabi's waist, drawing him close, enough to urge him to settle down next to him. it makes his heart beat faster, warmer... itadori's own smile softens, and he leans toward his partner just a little, lightly touching their foreheads together. even in the heaven of itadori's rare contentment ... 'how can I protect you? — those words persist, a breath away from slipping out. they end up unheard, and he turns his face just enough, lips brushing the other man's ear. ]
I want to be with you. Like this. Whenever we can.
[ and maybe, just maybe, that's all itadori can do for him. if he can't change his mind, change his resolve, make him see that he's sabotaging himself more than the family he's so desperate to punish—then all he can offer is a safe space, a kind company, and a reminder that he doesn't need to be alone all the time. please don't end up all alone. the conception might be enough, even in its simplicity. itadori hopes so.
playfully, he pulled dabi against him before he shoved his weight on the other, and they end up flopping down on the mattress with a loud creak. man, that bed had gone through some shit tonight, and it's still not over. resting on his side, he rolled over to face dabi, with his cheek squished against the pillow. ]
Okay. You need to decide! Pitch black or lights on? Blanket or no blanket? I'll be fine either way.
Leave the second one out; ya don't need it. Mess' fine.
[it's part of the experience. considering they just did it without a condom, dabi's not figuring they're going to require a revisit with one. especially since he's pretty sure itadori'd be curious about what finishing inside feels like, as he had with dabi. and heartless villain as he is, who's he to deny the guy that experience? especially after determining he's gonna fuck him into the mattress to get the other end of the spectrum. (hey, annoyance down; shower was your idea, yuji.)
tilting his head back and kissing him like this glazes towards the intimacy side of things, fingers and palm cupping round his throat flavoring it with something possessive and maybe even threatening. his thumb's right against itadori's pulse point, every beat of his blood thrumming through his flesh. dabi eases the grip on his hair, letting the damp, pink spikes shift between his joints and flutter across his hand. the guy complied with the kiss without question... well, they've not given each other reason to be afraid of the other so far.
parting their mouths only just enough to speak, dabi's words as tangible against itadori's lips as they're audible to his ears. only scarred throat and collar are visible real estate from this point of view for the sorcerer, but a good view's not the point for this kiss. temptation crawls through his lips and teeth to bite him, something aggressive and raw to clash with this sudden dip into the softer, but he brushes the allure aside. itadori's put up with plenty so far and has held to his word. he'll give him a little more leeway for the time being. give instead of taking.
maybe blame it on the afterglow later, despite that being long-since washed down the drain. a wet flick of tongue thuds against his lips, pressing them apart as the taste buds along the surface of itadori's muscle skim across dabi's scorched and fire-crenelated lower lip, a far contrast to the glass-smooth underside of that wet invasion wandering across his healthy upper. before that whole dual experience truncates in a short and sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth.]
If I feel like it.
[what a bratty response. kind of likes it. releasing his neck and withdrawing, dabi surrenders itadori back to himself, resting on his calves behind him. that arm about his waist ultimately draws him out of his perch and he wrangles himself a bit to lean down beside him. attention to his position's momentarily shattered when itadori brings their foreheads together, earning a blink of surprise and then a somewhat narrowed gaze. there's a point where 'too familiar' is breached. this is nearing it. even with sex, dabi's not a touchy feely person this way. it skims it, a fish just under the surface, but doesn't breech as itadori instead goes for his ear.]
Gonna take that at surface value...
[such a statement is way past "dangerous" and into the "over the edge" territory. but to some testament of itadori's offer of a comfortable retreat, dabi doesn't outright dismiss it as his instinctive reaction immediately flares up to do. scorch it, kill it, tell him he's stupid for even thinking such a thing. instead, he'll take it as this. a physical retreat from his life. a place and person he can come to free of his normal baggage. apparently that also comes dealing with itadori's clingyness, but that's not too high a price. he can tolerate it. in exchange, he'll simply offer the same. a place where the sorcerer doesn't have to hold all of his baggage for a little while. that's as comfortable a trade as dabi's willing to make right now. itadori's welcome to fall deeper over the edge, but he won't.
never get attached to someone else. especially not like this... not that the villain has the capacity for those feelings anymore. but he'll at least give itadori that acceptance.
strength and pressure quickly topple him and dabi swings an arm back instinctively, bracing on the bed before his elbow buckles and he drops down onto it with a soft grunt. relax. the beds here have been through worse. sometimes quirks get involved in sex and that can really fuck up the supporting furniture. dabi settles onto his back, one arm draped across his chest, the other one lying at his side.
really? itadori's making a big deal about that? like a carnival game. this kid has too much fun with life. instead of answering, dabi merely kicks the sheets and blanket up from the bottom of the bed and drags them up. despite his resistance to cold, he's never been comfortable sleeping uncovered when he's not wearing his clothes. brings back bad sensations.]
Ya know both of those can be individual decisions. [aka: neither needs to decide to tolerate the other's preference. right before clicking off the light beside the bed.] Light or dark doesn't bother me.
[ ah, that little glare from dabi, as endearing as it was, he knew the warning signs. honestly, this whole thing felt like taming a feral cat at times, one that's not used to the human touch. while you're so eager to pet it, reach down for their head, often you'll be rewarded with a paw clawing your hand away. it takes time and effort to win their trust, and dabi would probably kill him for that analogy— but is he lying here?
the stiff and narrow stare is heard loud and clear. itadori will back off, give him some space, let him breathe. otherwise dabi wouldn't tolerate his advances and drag them back to the stage of caution. or, that man might ghost him completely. now that will be painful; especially after getting so spoiled with their closeness, and given the freedom to be affectionate (even if it's one-sided) with someone. it meant too much for itadori to fuck up. he'll behave for now.
and so, with a knowing smile, he curls up next to the other man, close but not clinging. he's fine with it. itadori is fine with them being here, sharing space, content, and comfortable. ]
I like it dark, with a blanket and a leg sticking out.
[ it's his turn to switch off the light from his side, and like the perfect romantic cliche— the moonlight subtly illuminates the room as it fell into a serene hush. for now, itadori rests on his back, his shoulder touching dabi's, with his head tilt to the side. it's a safe option where he gets some kind of physical contact under their blanket, without smothering the other man. a fair trade between his neediness and dabi's reserve.
he stares at the ceiling, nothing in particular. however, the unwavering smile on his features speaks a lot about how itadori perceived this entire experience. he begins to reflect on this day, from the moment he woke up, to when he joined his classmates, successfully handling a mission, rushing back to the dorms to prepare the meal, meeting with dabi, having his first kiss, his first sexual experience, understanding why he's so infatuated by this man after obsessing about it from the night they met, getting some of his questions answered— and now, he's brought back to this moment. as they relaxed on one bed, under one blanket, with enough trust that he could fall asleep, consoled he's not at risk, nor is dabi.
— to be able to know that he didn't need to be alone. that he could be with someone. all those fears and dreads should no longer paralyze him. to have the freedom to seek the intimacy he craves, a person he could confide in, someone who can reciprocate his feelings. what started as 'never' has made a dramatic twist to 'it might happen!'.
is he allowed to be this happy?
... it's scary. ]
It feels ... weird knowing that I can actually ask someone out now. Well, it's not like people are lining up to date me. But, it feels nice to have an option.
[he's never once agreed with itadori's sentiments that he's a 'nice guy' to be with. despite his laid-back attitude, dabi's violent, spiteful, and selfish. he may trust the other guy a little more than he did before, a little more than he probably should for just two meetings, but itadori's sincerity is easily noticed and self proven. this is a person would reach out for anyone's hand and grasp onto them, hold them tightly, and never let go, no matter what came his way in recompense, all to save them. a hero and a good person to the end. makes him unbearably naive at times, and yet... how different would the world be if the heroes and others in the world were like him?
in a way... it's frightening, to stare acceptance in the face so readily. those walls of flame come up fast and dabi backs off into the darkness, refusing to allow either of them to move forward any further. it's a warning and both an admission and agreement. as itadori retreats, dabi settles on the bed beside him. might be a sort of unconscious power play here. an understanding that the kid won't push him to far out of fear of being left along, and a similar realization that the villain actually wants this to last a bit longer and so won't burn him.
that smile lingers in the corner of his turquoise eyes even as he shifts them up to the ceiling. it's his presence beside him that he feels. a gentle glow of warmth and the weight of another sharing his bed. thing is, itadori's right; he is comfortable.]
That's specific. [and the obvious solution to the fight between too hot under the covers but too cold with them off.] Over the edge of the bed or in the middle?
[as the room settles into darkness, it's a few seconds before his eyes adjust to the moonlight coming from window. dabi glances towards it. yeah, those curtains are gonna have to be shut before he goes to sleep. not having his face resting unconscious towards an exposed window. later. right now he feels at ease enough to let it stay open, moonlight included. there's no attempt to edge away from the shoulder touching his own, a single point of contact between villain and sorcerer. not going to admit to the subtle attempt his body makes to feel itadori's heartbeat through that contact.
gives him time to think about everything as well. dabi doesn't want to look into this as anything more than two guys meeting and fucking to blow off some steam. some free meals on the side. and yet, it's itadori yuji. which means it's not just that on the other guy's side. a glance over at that smile is enough to tell him that. took a lot of this kid's firsts tonight, from kiss to sex to having a partner no strings attached. what dabi sees as merely a useful thrill is a friendship for itadori. he's probably spent all day excited about it. what dabi gets excited about would horrify itadori and make him cry. they're diametrically opposed so completely, it's fucking insane for them to be together, and yet here they are. which of them is crazy? doesn't know. probably both. it's easier to tell himself this is infatuation, a massive crush on the wrong person, and eventually the kid's gonna wise up and leave. in the meantime... che, fuck it. he'll stick around and see what happens.
admittedly, it's kind of nice to have an escape. someone he doesn't have to look over his shoulder at or think about what use he could make over them. no real suspicions about hiding revenge or attempts to supplant or take down. he's just itadori yuji. someone who's happy to be around him.]
[ it's not like dabi can 'see' anything, but he can certainly feel the shifts under the thick fabric, as itadori pushed his leg out. it wasn't really dangling over the brim, but close to it. the perfect balance in his opinion.
for the sake of keeping a blind eye to dabi's criminal, murderous activities— the mundane question of 'how was your day?' is not an option in their case. he will hear the grim details, and it will only trigger a squabble, make this night end on a bad note— therefore, itadori will try his best to avoid that. he deserves one fucking good day, and he'll grab into it with his teeth and nails. now that he thinks about it, dabi had a perk that made their relationship work. that man didn't have the desire to gloat about his wicked sins, often keeping it to himself. while the kid likes to pretend he's doing it for his welfare, it was more of dabi's psyche. for someone who's carrying a heavy load of resentment, he's oddly chill. it's probably why itadori, and some individuals in the league, are encouraged to call him their friend. ]
It's not. I mean ... I wouldn't tell my date I'm 'using them'. It kinda kills the vibe of making it romantic, you know? Then again, we've done some ... very date-ish things?
[ — for two strangers choosing to have casual sex, with no emotional connection, they might've crossed a few lines. itadori rolled his eyes to the side, sneaking a peek at the other man as he ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and slick. the mild confusion with his answer is evident, from the way itadori furrowed his brows, pressed his lips together, eyes narrowed and seemingly lacking certainty. itadori didn't go far in his hunt for a justification; way too tired, instead sighing and returning his attention toward the other man.
god, the way itadori is looking at him ... like he's begging for something, yet he's conscious he's not allowed to. forbidden! it's like a child standing outside a candy store, face glued against the window, in total agony. this screams pathetic, but the sorcerer couldn't give a fuck anymore. ]
Okay, I will let you sleep at peace tonight. I promise. But, can we cuddle next time? Isn't that what people do when they share a bed?
[ maybe if he warned dabi in advance, he wouldn't be so opposed to the idea in the future. it allows him time to be mentally prepared, which diminishes the chance of getting rejected. heh, maybe he's not so stupid after all! ]
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Date: 9/15/21 21:03 (UTC)it could be as simple as sharing a homemade meal, or as intimate as having sex. this is their safe space. no judgments, no forced opinions, no pity; a place where they are treated like ... well, humans. ]
Dabi ...
[ it didn't mean any of this is right, especially when dabi retaliated by tugging down on his pants, felt like the biggest 'fuck you' he'd ever seen. before any other word could drop out of his mouth, itadori was caught off guard by the abrupt jerk by the hair, tilting his head into it, while subconsciously pushing himself deeper against the other man. when he realized it was deliberate, and it wasn't a clumsy slip from his side, itadori's cheeks never lost their warmth, but they're certainly a shade darker. he's still— awfully rigid. not really rejecting dabi's advances, not returning them either.
stubborn, he withheld from acknowledging that command. his expression twists into one of discomfort, muscles strained for all the wrong reasons, shoulders quivering from the burden of it all. and then— there's pain? his eyes, all four, watch as his own hand gets consumed by a blue glimmer, searing hot, piercing through the thin layer of skin on the palm of his hand. the voice of reason advised him to yank his hand away, but itadori didn't, even when it hurts like hell. he is oddly pacified by it; all the scattered thoughts fell into a dead hush, and when dabi broke him out of the state of trance he was in— he's finally listening. he's paying attention.
again, itadori found himself being tamed by the other, with only a few words. he was then encouraged to lean closer— lashes hanging low over each eye, sedated by the tone of that man's voice. his fingers, despite the ache, curl against dabi's in a gentle squeeze. finally relaxing, pressing their bodies together, moaning into dabi's mouth as he dared to shift his hips forward; his free hand reached to grasp into the other man's hair. he barely allowed dabi to finish his remarks before he caught his lips again in a sloppy, hungry mess. it didn't linger, and itadori broke it off abruptly, shaking his head. ]
Okay, wait ...
[ for what? god, he's so out of it. half scowling, itadori reckoned if he rushed into it, he will only fuck it up again. sukuna's prints are still all over him, so he had to be careful not to give the curse the edge he's seeking. nice and easy. calm the fuck down, yuji. it was painful to watch the sorcerer go through this, specifically with the way he was watching the man under him; starving. another deep sigh, itadori chose to press his face against the curve of dabi's neck, somewhat embracing him. that's when he started— rocking his hips, hissing under his breath at how torturing it was to hit it slow, but it was also ... so fucking good. damn. even after everything he put him through, dabi is still so tight! every time he thrusts inside of him, he moaned, full-throated, lip-parted, eyes-closed, and almost lost the rhythm of their fucking. it started slow, but who is itadori kidding? it won't last for long, and he's already picking up the pace.
more forceful, harder, deeper—
he saw himself beginning to come apart, licked his lips before he dared to moan the other's name, abdomen clenched tightly as he decided to relief dabi's hair from all that abuse, instead blindly seeking his neglected cock between their bodies. ]
yeah so the notif for this never came through. sorry for the delay!
Date: 9/18/21 03:10 (UTC)in the depths of those two moments, the flavors of a homemade meal just for him and the heat of itadori's body pressing against and into him, dabi could lose himself and forget everything else in this shit world except for the pleasure. and the guy beside him. it's a fucking relief to let everything else drop away.
his name ghosts above him and dabi exhales in response, hot breath wavering from his lips. it sounds good, his name on itadori's tongue. he wouldn't argue any of this being "right" save for the kid not completely fucking up the "how to" of sex for a first timer. could've spent a minute missing with his dick. there's no hiding the satisfaction on dabi's face when itadori gets the notion behind that sudden yank of his pants. it's very much a "fuck you" to everything else going on.
that fades as he drags him into the kiss, taking control for a moment despite his promise to let itadori run everything. the guy could use some firmer distraction to prove to him that dabi isn't going anywhere. tilting to deepen it, heated tongue sweeping out to run against itadori's lips and swipe across his teeth. a hard grunt puffs out of his throat as the kid drives himself deeper inside him and his legs tighten up on his hips to keep him right there. of course it was deliberate. he's making a point here.
he'd never once promised itadori he wouldn't burn him. the man is fire and though the show of that azure glow was more to remind the younger man dabi was no one to be worried over from a threatened standpoint, if the slight singeing was enough to abate his internal warring and worry (or shut up the whoever was looking out as well), then so be it. pretty sure itadori had ways of patching up a small burn later on.
as the heat leaves his hand and replaces by fingers and a warm palm sliding between his own and settling against his respectively, dabi's eyes linger on itadori's face, half noting his expression and half simply watching him come closer. taking in the details from his eyebrows to his lashes to the heat in his amber eyes. before finally shutting them, head dropping back as itadori settles against his body again. better. the kiss holds firm and he cards his fingers through the guy's hair, skimming pink spikes beneath his palm with a tickling rush. hips roll forward, a moan spills into his mouth, and fingers burrow into his hair as that heated, messy kiss shuts him up. just a moment before the touch breaks.]
Not goin anywhere.
[waiting is kind of out of his hands, pinned as he is and half-wrapped around itadori's body. he rests his head on the sheets again, dealing with some impatience on his own part. painful? not so much. irritable? more likely. he'd been close to the edge when all this started, the stop is aggravating. he tilts his head to the side as itadori presses his face against it and exhales in a mixture of satisfaction and pleasure as the kid finally starts to move again. they're going to have to talk about this is they want to do it again. abs tighten, his legs tighten, and dabi clenches up around him, letting itadori control the pace and movement as he rocks with him on the bed. could stay slow, but the lazy increase in speed is telling enough. his breathing picks up, heavier sounds that start to match itadori's rhythm. it feels good, really good once more. for all that interruption, the kid hasn't gone soft at all. fucking staying power.
harder thrusts, deeper penetration, rolling into his hips and pressing flush to him as he digs his fingers into the back of itadori's hand and curls his other into his hair. his name comes out again in a moan and dabi turns his head just slightly enough to see the kid's ear and back of his head from the corner of his gaze. he's heard his name a lot during sex, but... this one's gonna be one that sticks afterwards. as he fumbles his way from his hair down to his hips, dabi sucks in his breath, flat stomach sinking inward to give itadori access into the slick mess of his dick and hips. immediately regretting it because as soon as he gets his hand around his cock, dabi's breath shoves out in a curse. the combination of all of that swiftly starts coiling all of that pleasure and backed up sensation inside.
one thing left to do. turn his head more to get his mouth right next to itadori's ear and give him a final permission. before he wastes time asking the question.]
Come in me.
it's okay! <3
Date: 9/19/21 19:09 (UTC)and then dabi had to consume what little trace of stamina he had left, by a few words heavily whispered behind a husky tone; that alone could've made him lose it. every time he thought it couldn't get any better than this, itadori is humbled by another sting, prodding to restructure what he deemed as a pleasuring excitement in his mind, introducing his senses into a whole other epiphany. slick pre-cum leaking from the head of dabi's prick as his hand matched the speed of his thrusts, another throaty growl escaped his lips as he gripped harder into their handhold, unaware of his fucking claws gouging between the other's knuckles; coating them in red.
— and fuck if that forcefulness didn't make itadori weak-kneed, didn't make him stretch up just to catch dabi's mouth in a hot kiss, feeding on it like an animal in heat. he tried to urge the other man's tongue into his mouth, to meet each nip with a few of his own, while he suckled dabi's lower lip before angling his chin up for more wet kisses. he finally released dabi's hand from the gory clasp, only for it to slither between the other man's back and around his waist, gripping their bodies close while he continued to fuck him with brutally hard strokes, withdrawing almost wholly, only the crown of his prick still gripped in dabi's heat, before shoving in to the hilt; as deep as their bodies would permit. the pace was savage, but it was clear he wouldn't last long like this. and yet, itadori plans to take advantage of that man to the last second.
yeah, he reached his limit. all the intensity melted away into pure bliss, his eyes flutter, rolling into the back of his skull as his vision blurred a little between the intense hotness spreading throughout him all. he made a soft, strangled sound while he came, and worked through it in a few, far slower, waning thrusts— spreading his mess inside of dabi and all over the bedsheets.
he might apologize later for it. maybe.
for a moment, he was so blinded by the raw ecstasy; a drunk-like smile paints his feverish face. he muttered something disordered, but it's evident itadori is in some kind of high, head above the clouds with how amazing everything felt.
the marks begin to wither away, those pair of eyes return to their slumber as the sorcerer eased into it. despite it all, he never once neglected dabi. if anything, with a clear mind, appreciating the view hits different now. he knew he's fucked the minute his eyes caught the others; aware that this image will be stuck in his head for a long, long time. ]
no subject
Date: 9/20/21 03:59 (UTC)as close as he is to finishing, he doesn't dare give itadori the chance to stagger and halt them both again with a doubt towards preference. straight up tells it to him, breathing the words into his ear as he drinks in the kid's panting breaths and whimpers of newborn pleasure. the bliss of having sex for the first time is that it eternally builds on itself, one better after another to that peak. his own body's already rushing for the same, stomach clenching inwards as the glassy emission spurts across his abs and decorates itadori's hand with sticky syrup. schlicking noises meld with the increased rhythm of their hips coming together with each thrust and dabi's somewhat impressed the other guy's got the brain power left to jerk him off and fuck him in tandem with each other. must be a natural...
pain--!! the sudden bite of stinging burn splits open the back of his hand; he's no stranger to getting scratched during sex. but there's a difference between nails and claws. part of itadori's "other" leaking out of him like those marks? ah but it's all right. unconscious trade paid back for burning the kid's hand with his flames. he bleeds red around his fingers and drips onto the sheets, but it's hardly a pain he'd flinch from. itadori's motions, the slide of his dick inside him, his lips on his mouth, they easily swallow up any discomfort into that coating of indulgent pleasure.
another kiss claims his mouth and dabi curls his fingers harshly into his hair, tugging at the roots as he all but strangles the teenager's hips with his legs. swears he's sucking out his breath with that kiss and there's a sultry eagerness in which the scarred villain accepts the encouragement to pour his tongue into the boy's mouth. not caring how wet it gets or how deep his tongue's able to go inside. tasting the faint flavor of their meal within his mouth along with the uniqueness of his own. teeth, tongue, gums, roof, and back out again to curl into his own mouth for a swallow. there won't be any bruising left on his burned flesh, but he still feels the pressure of nipping and sucking, and it's welcome.
nails slip from his flesh, his skin burns in relief, and dabi arches his hips up from the hand cupping beneath the diamond of his back. it presses his hand-enwrapped prick firmly into itadori's stomach and he deftly hikes a leg to drag a heel up to the small of his partner's spine. pressing down only enough to give him some pressure as his hips draw back and each inch slides out of him one after the other until the soft flare of his head nudges to the back of his rim. out? in? shove! fuck! it's almost bestial, slamming into him hard enough to make the bed rock and open his mouth with heated curses and grunts against itadori's lips. enough he can't even tell where he ends and itadori begins. any rhythm is gone as he feels the other man's pace climb towards the finish.
tension winds him tight like a charred bowstring, muscles seizing up as a vice around the sorcerer's prick. from that sudden rock-like hardening to the way he flares for a second as his heartbeat pounds in his veins. and everything bursts out. dabi's eyes fall shut, teeth baring between his lips as a seething hiss of ecstasy shoves his head back into the bed beneath him. heat pours inside as itadori comes and dabi's right there with him, abdominals crushing each other with every intense contraction sucking hard around the kid's dick and spurting lines of white across dabi's scorched flesh. making a mess inside and out, coating itadori's hand with the dwindling spurts of cream-hued dregs.
the villain's orgasmic shout dies to a louder gasp to a low groan and finally tapers off into a lust-drunk exhale. that's what he wanted. needed. the escape. nothing existed except for himself and itadori. blinded, deafened, struck numb, separated from everything save for the kid between his legs, in his arms, against his lips. a blissful escape. the kind of high that only the strongest of drugs can even hope to merely simulate.
slowly that seeps down from high to afterglow and dabi relaxes his death grip on itadori's body. drifting down with his partner into a sloggen mess on the bed. head dropped partially to the side, eyes closed and face flips, lips parted just enough to show some white and pink as that expression of pleasure washes over his face, what parts of his cheek remain still able to show the ruddy flush of arousal. only after a few more seconds of rest does he slit one eye open, gazing up at the younger man above him. he knows he'll be burning his visage into his mind's eye for life, but it's a small price to pay.]
no subject
Date: 9/20/21 21:05 (UTC)You're ... [ fingers cradle into the curve of his flesh, using his thumb to lightly brush over dabi's lower lip. and at that moment, the wheels in itadori's foggy mind started spinning, and he grasped that he's ... smearing blood all over the villain's face? fumbling on his words at the horror of it. ] ... uhh?
[ what.
dumbfounded, he spends a second flexing his tainted fingers for a better view, baffled on what the fuck happened? where did all this blood come from? a blink, then his gaze shifts to where dabi's hand rests on the bed, finally noticing those small, open wounds. it's coming to him now, and he groaned soon after. ]
Sorry. My bad.
[ while he does feel guilty, itadori is not dwelling on it either. dabi isn't someone who needed coddling. this type of trauma isn't something that would startle him, even when the sorcerer isn't so keen to pull this shit again. it earns him an apology, a sincere one, in spite of itadori doing it while smirking; the expression vaguely, helplessly fond. with one hand covered in cum, the other in blood— he had to admit that he fucked up in some areas, but it was still the best night of his chaotic life. that says a lot. finally, he pulls away, giving in to exhaustion as he collapsed on the other side of the bed, next to dabi, resting on his back.
he turns his head to face the villain. while the idea of dabi walking out of the door without saying another word is a huge likelihood, it didn't mean itadori is discouraged. if anything, there is no sense of urgency from his end, more content in sharing space and being next to him a bit longer. he will not force the other into anything, that's for sure, but what's the harm in reaching out? itadori persuaded him before, and he will do it again. ]
Dabi.
[ he'd wait for his attention, to meet those eyes again, and when he gets it. ]
Let's spend the night here.
no subject
Date: 9/21/21 01:20 (UTC)uhn... that's a weird feeling. most partners don't let themselves go soft inside. but it kind of fits for itadori's first time. the heat in his body seems to wane a bit, going from a fireplace burn to a candle-soft warm. probably due to the afterglow seeping through him. obviously has nothing at all to do with that hand gently brushing his cheek and reminding him what he feels like to have someone treat him as a human instead of a monster or a thing.]
Yeah...? [leading off with that and trailing instead of finishing prompts a similar response as thumb paints a wet line across the charred purple of his lower lip. wet... oh yeah, the taste of copper makes it way into his mouth even as the realization dawns in itadori's eyes. really? he's looking horrified at a bit of blood when he's seen what he's seen and dabi's lying under him with more than half his flesh scorched to irreparable? psh... what a kid.
he doesn't even bother moving his hand to show him, letting the guy find the crimson stain radiating from the back of his hand on the sheets. there's a slight pain, more a sting from the piercing, but it's not bad. he's obviously endured far worse.]
Forget it. Shit happens plenty during sex.
[bruises, scrapes, bites, sometimes even serious injuries like a broken something or other. thankfully the kid doesn't linger on the issue and start getting teary eyed or offering apologies. the lack of coddling earns a small bump in acceptance. dabi's more noticing the expression on itadori's face, that doofy smirk of his that's too admiring and affectionate a look to be aimed at him. it'd been a good experience for him. the fumbling and mistakes made it memorable, something he wouldn't be able to wash out of his mind with other partners. itadori likely felt far better about it since it was a first.
and then the pull out. dabi grunts softly as itadori tugs free and collapses beside him while the villain works on rescuing his leg from being flopped on and trapped under the kid's hips. gives him some time to stretch his legs out from being hiked and wrapped around the young man's hips for so long. normally he would take a rest, then get up, dressed, and leave, but there've been other times where he adopted other habits. washing off, taking a nap,
torching his partner, getting a drink, having a smoke. whatever. depended on the person and the location.his name's not a surprise and dabi tilts his head enough to slide his eye to the corner of his lids. there's no rush on itadori's face or embarrassment/regret over what he just did. the next part, however, it somewhat surprising. not the first time he's been asked that, or the first time he's accepted. still not something he normally does on a "first time" meeting.]
Why d'ya wanna do that?
no subject
Date: 9/21/21 20:24 (UTC)[ no, it wasn't a sassy comeback; it was itadori's genuine answer. he would like to believe dabi is the type who wouldn't tolerate someone who's tiptoeing around his words and dragging it, coming off as dishonest and fickle. it's the first thought that came across his mind, and it is his first confession without any filter. regardless, the flow of his speech, and the easy smile on his lips promised dabi no obligation. not that the villain would break under peer pressure, far too strong-hearted to be easily influenced by a few sweet words, but he still didn't want to sound so — forceful. even when he is. itadori won't deny it, unbothered if it's not the perception of a hero-wannabe, to be so selfish by making this relationship one-sided. to keep asking more from dabi; more time, more attention, more favors.
'because I want to' — while it's candid, subtle, it's also very covetous. a fine thin line between two extremes.
itadori flexed his arms up, still lightheaded in the bliss of their afterglow. he then shrugged his shoulders, both hands resting on his abdomen; unmindful of their mess. ]
I always ... wanted to know what's it like to share a bed with someone. It might sound silly, but it means a lot to me.
[ another confession. there was also a nagging sense of uncertainty prickling at the back of his head, a reminder not to get too comfortable. itadori didn't have the freedom to wander on his own, seek refuge outside the walls of his school. he shouldn't be here, let alone risk getting caught breaking the rules. that's one, and the other reason, which is more obvious— dabi isn't harmless. to assume he earned his unwavering trust would be foolish. even for itadori.
and yet, he's still ... going to persuade him. as always. ]
So, can we do this?
no subject
Date: 9/21/21 21:03 (UTC)[itadori's right in his belief. ironically, it's the kind of comeback dabi can respect. not having some sappy reasoning or excuse that might make for an emotional scene. just a selfish blunt "cause me" and that's it. selfishness isn't bad. someone being willing to be honest like that without hiding or couching their thoughts behind false glossing is more preferable to the bleeding heart. saying something about "needing a friend" or "being lonely" or another variable that suggests pity or aid would've gotten him out of bed and on his way to being out the door. instead, itadori goes the one path that gets the villain to scoff slightly in amusement before he stretches out on the bed, content to stay. those words might've come from a kind smile and the easy sway of the kid's good attitude, but their resolve is fair. itadori "gets" dabi enough. it's surprising and strange, but ultimately not something he finds himself regretting.
after all, isn't that what the villains have often said is one of the main problems? no one bothers to try and understand them. no one wants to spend the time to "get" them, as a person or to their motives. even if the person who's reaching out to him is a kind-hearted idiot who balances the line between selfish and selfless probably without even knowing he's doing it.
dabi's not quite sure how he feels about the proceedings. it's only been a conversation and a few hours. it's definitely not the first time he's slept with someone in their bed. stranger even. but it would be the first time he's slept beside someone who so desperately wants to care about him.]
Yeah.
[there's only the calm agreement rather than a curt dismissal of "do what you want" that would've separated them even in the bed. instead of making it seem like itadori's imposing on him and forcing it, the villain's offering his own acceptance. even admitting a silent want for the same. of course it's a warning to not get comfortable. there's just as much a chance as itadori stabbing him in the night with whatever's behind those claws as there is dabi cremating them both to ash right here on the bed. his flames are so hot, it would only take a second or two. but whether he's doing this because it means a lot to itadori or for some other reason... dabi's trying not to think about that.
so, with that said.]
How was it?
no subject
Date: 9/22/21 20:31 (UTC)he then shifts slowly, moving to sit up on where he's settled. by now all the warmth in his body is subdued, no longer flustered. itadori is sober enough to assure his words are honest, and not speaking out of emotions. ]
For a moment, I wanted to stop ... because it didn't feel like it was my own experience anymore. I thought I had no right to call it 'mine'. So ... I can't express how much I appreciate it when you reassured me that I'm all you see. It's still just you and me.
[ if the events unfolded differently, they wouldn't be sharing a space right now. it might be a simple reason to trigger such a reaction, but how could he not be heartsick after it? the prospect to be intimate with that man was unplanned for, to be able to take the lead, be in control and hold onto it as his own. something that belonged to him— and for it to be taken away would've been so painful after getting a taste of rare independence. itadori couldn't remember the last time he had a voice, or wasn't told what to do and where to go. while he never complained, nor did he find any wrong in the process— it still had an influence on him. a heavy burden on his shoulders; paralyzing.
dabi gave him everything he subtly craved for. reassurance, a warm body, pleasure, safety— acceptance.
he smiled, leaning forward just a little, and let one hand between them glide down, fingertips brushing dabi's hair away from his forehead. he'll apologize for smudging it in blood later. ]
It was special to me. You made it special to me, and it felt ... amazing.
[ he huffed a chuckle. what? he's allowed to share that side of their time together as well. the emotional aspect is covered, and now he will move on to the physical. which itadori felt more at ease covering this side of his answer. ]
You know, I never thought it could get that good? It was insane! Ah, I wish I had more stamina since I wanted to last longer. But it was impossible! You felt too good! And oh, I might have a thing with using my mouth ... I really enjoyed that part ...
[ a pause- ]
Maybe it wasn't the best for you, since you had your share of different partners. So, I'll help you clean up and attend to your wounds. You're still bleeding ...
no subject
Date: 9/22/21 23:12 (UTC)he only moves his eyes to find itadori as he sits up on the bed, half wondering if he was going to leave or merely wanting to stretch. the afterglow's likely drifted into the comfortable state of feel-good-but-still-moveable. considering the lack of blazing heat on his face, seems the guy's more in control of his emotions now.
listening to the answer is surprising. mostly because of how much it sounds like it means to itadori. for something so simple to dabi as seeing just one person in front of him, it's probably not the same if you've got something or someone else inside. he wonders if it's like hawk's little black bird friend, with that shadowy creature inside him. always someone there... must be a real pain in the ass to never be alone even when you want to be. never knowing if you're the only one everyone else is seeing.
can't just be "you" anymore... not that dabi's ever had the chance to simply be "himself" since he was always forced to see himself the way endeavor wanted him to be. did he ever have his own "self" before? he can't be sure. or perhaps he doesn't want to answer that question now.]
Doesn't matter who tells ya what shit, you choose to be you. Makes every experiences your own.
[perhaps that's easier said than done for someone playing host, but that's what he's going to hold to. this is their conversation, their experience, their time. after all, itadori had warned him about some undefined danger and dabi can now make an educated guess as to what it is. but he's not walked out. because he frankly doesn't give a shit. he's met plenty of people who'd be terrifying in their own right and he's willing to murder them if push came to shove. he agreed to be with itadori despite that risk and doesn't have any reason to abandon that. of course, the guy didn't try to kill him...
but the experience remains itadori's. never once he dabi feel like someone else was in the room with them calling the shots. it was always the same kid, dealing with this new overwhelming pleasure and zoning right out from it. sex is never that beautiful, sensuous thing magazines and books try to display it as. it's hot, messy, intense, and frankly you might not even remember half of it. but their time together, itadori's first time, belonged to itadori. no one else was taking it from him.
but please keep all those really mushy thoughts inside. they'd make him feel really weird because when the fuck has he ever given anyone those kinds of feelings? a failure like him only brought disappointment, usefulness/uselessness, and anger. he didn't even get chummy with his allies in the league. well, maybe some of them he got on with better than others. but none of them would say he made them feel like itadori's silently saying dabi made him feel.
fingers brush at his hair and the villain keeps his partner in his gaze. special, huh. he turns his eyes away from itadori and gazes up at the ceiling.]
First time anyone's told me that.
[he never made his parents feel "special". only ambition, disappointment, pain, and annoyance. even his siblings couldn't understand him or ultimately grew tired of him. hell, the one barely even knew him. no one else in the league would say he made something 'special' by being there.]
It's pretty good. Sometimes can get even better. [the shift to the physical response is an easier topic to settle into. dabi chuffs in amusement.] Ya made it pretty long for someone who doesn't even jerk off. [kind of expected him to explode the second he stuck his prick in.] Ya mouth, huh. Sorry I ain't the kind ya can leave a buncha marks on.
[no hickeys for you, itadori. at least not on the neck and shoulders where most people would instinctively leave them. the little dip back into doubt earns a wry smirk and dabi runs his hand through his hair.]
Don't have best or worsts. But ya were definitely one I ain't forgettin. [which probably says a bit because dabi's the kind to forget a lot of things he has no use for remembering. but at the mention of his hand, he simply lifts his injured hand (breaking the clotting seal on the wound), and looks at it. normally he'd just torch his own hand and cauterize the wound shut to deal with later, but figures doing so would lead to itadori freaking the fuck out and still demanding he treat the injury.] Ain't got no medical kit in here, so unless ya gonna do it over the sink with water, I'm burnin it shut.
no subject
Date: 9/23/21 20:34 (UTC)[ dabi deserves to hear it, not for the sake of stroking his ego, but more of itadori trying to create some balance in contrast to all the negativity that man heard throughout his entire life. true, dabi is no saint. he is worth condemning, hating, and being feared by society for his past actions. there are consequences for the choices he made, but how can we neglect the key question of 'what went wrong?'. the broadcast begged its viewers to ask this question, even when dabi's objective isn't to seek sympathy; it was more of crushing the trust on heroes. one might say he attained that goal, or maybe it was a miss. it didn't matter to itadori. in the end, he chose to use it as a foundation in understanding that man better.
he is not— malicious? when they coexist outside their ideology, dabi's ambitions and itadori's society, he gets to see someone else entirely. it's not an infamous villain and a murderer. it's just ... dabi. there is more to him than his troubled past and enmity towards heroes. why can't they separate the actions from the person? and with such a fond thought, his following words missed to match. ]
I used to jerk off. I have some experience, you know!
[ why did he even share that out loud? he squints at the other, lowkey blaming him for the slip because he can! his expression eased when dabi confessed that he wouldn't forget about their time together and— really, it's his fault if this kid grew attached to him. for someone who didn't know the art of being bashful and chill, itadori straightened his back with a smug grin on his face. ]
Not so bad for your first time, Itadori Yuji! Not so bad.
[ before dabi could take this moment from him, the sorcerer pushed his weight off the bed, and as soon as his feet touched the ground, he flexed his sore muscles. he stretched his arms forward, held it for a second, before they drop dead to each side with a heavy sigh. if he had a choice, he'd rather curl up against dabi's warmth, nestle under the blanket and surrender to his exhaustion. that sounds so tempting. alas, being covered in dried sweat/blood/cum didn't fit that perfect image. it is fated to ruin the mood at some point.
so, he nods towards the bathroom's door- ] You're right about the medical kit, so let's just rinse out the blood and clean up at the same time.
[ after everything they've done, sharing a shower is pretty timid. ]
no subject
Date: 9/23/21 22:34 (UTC)stay and say those things about him. it's strange to even hear someone to voice them. that pure desire to know him more and understand, without letting him go diving into his fires to spew vile at him about his father. just some random mystery guy who thinks dabi's a pretty interesting person. not a villain or an insane shit or even an ugly charred monster. he treats him like a human being.
it's a rare experience.]
Wow. Ya so cool now, kid.
[far less mocking and more languid teasing. rubbed him wrong enough he felt the urge to blurt that out huh? amazing. dabi ignores the blaming squint and lifts a shoulder in a dismissive shrug. blame him all you want; you're the one that said it, itadori. the nonchalance, however, falters somewhat when the other guy sits up all straight and preening and... fucking congratulates himself out loud. first you get defensive about your jerking off experience, and now you're awarding yourself?]
I take it back. You're an idiot.
[which yuji has not only confessed to but accepted and carried on with his life. which carried him right off the bed as well. good thing he got those damn pants off him earlier or he probably would've tripped over them and fell. dabi rolls his head to the side, watching in mild interest as itadori stretches, eyes wandering over the built-yet-slender musculature flexing beneath his skin. the dried fluids on him didn't detract much from the sight. hmph... next time, dabi's fucking him into the bed. decided.]
How efficient. [heaving a sign, the villain slips out of bed and stretches his arm over his head, grabbing at his elbow to pull it. legs pull a bit, thanks to being wrapped around itadori's waist for half the fuck. but despite all his scars and staples, he doesn't seem at all bothered to walk the room naked. at first he'd been self-conscious about his scars, hiding away after stumbling off the mountain burning and cooking. but hiding them was impossible, so he left them open casually and wore what he wanted, soon getting used to the reactions they got from other people. worth it.]
Ya ever cleaned a wound before? [right, sharing a shower between them was mild compared to what they'd just done. then again, shower sharing is more intimate than a rough fuck, but whatever. he'll do it. just... might take a few minutes for the water to warm up since this is a dirt cheap motel. unless itadori wants to go for a bath. dabi'll scowl over being a water heater, but will begrudgingly acquiesce if it goes that route.]
no subject
Date: 9/24/21 21:15 (UTC)I have, but I'm not good at it.
[ at least he's honest?
itadori isn't the type to pay attention to details, and when it comes to treating his own injuries, he's pretty negligent of following the necessary, tedious steps. all that matters is that he stops the bleeding, gives his body no excuse to lose consciousness, and then moves on with his day. when it's the other way around, and he's treating others— it's a different story. ah, the hypocrisy. in dabi's case, the lack of proper tools made it hard to clean those open wounds, make sure they won't get infected before applying the bandages. they will have no choice but to rinse them under the shower, and then scorch them shut.
he watched as the other man switched on the shower; observed as the water came gushing out, the pressure is average, but it's surprisingly clear. itadori half-expected to deal with an odd color, mixed with dirt and gunk— considering the low budget of this motel. as they wait for it to warm up; a few lazy steps brought him closer, arms finding their way around dabi's waist from behind, bodies pressed against each other. itadori kept his gaze on the running water, resting his chin on the man's shoulder as he spoke. ]
... This place is falling apart.
[ not only they can see the old age of the building from the poor structure of the bathroom walls, but it's also evident they haven't cleaned it after the previous guests. then again, he won't bitch about it. if it's the only place dabi felt safe in, where no one would recognize him, it's good enough. he leans his head against dabi's as he held him, eyes closed. itadori didn't let him go, not until the steam started fogging the small space, and that's when he finally relaxed his arms; reaching out to adjust the temperature before he, carefully, stepped under the warm flow.
there is barely room for another person here, but— whatever. ]
I have a feeling we gonna' run out of hot water soon ...
no subject
Date: 9/25/21 02:22 (UTC)Don't worry about it.
[he can patch himself up without a problem. he's always taken care of himself after the mountain fire. treating his own burns, cleaning his own wounds, stapling his own flesh, occasionally burning himself on purpose if it was needed. not that he'll be showcasing any of that since there's no first aid kit to be had. at least they can wash off and he can cauterize it. (though he is mentally checking the rest of his body for any other cuts. there's gonna be bruises on his hips at least. itadori's got a singed hand.) sex without any kind of ache isn't common if you're just going to blow off steam. least the kid can go home with some mark of pride rather than feeling glum about only leaving the on dabi.
hmph... maybe he should bite him before he leaves.
the shower knobs are cold under his hands, the old plus-shaped metal knobs giving away the age of this place's setup. hell, even when they're knocked off, seems like the motel goes out of its way to replace them with crummy cheap shit. well, keeps the cost down. or they simply like the atmosphere. easy to abandon if need be. water spurts and coughs from the shower head a few times as the temperature changes and the hot water heater kicks in. luckily they escape from getting a bunch of dark water on their faces.
arms find their way around his waist and dabi turns to look at itadori from his shoulder. that's not exactly a sensation he's felt... ever. it's quickly muted by a strong body pressing up against his own, but the feeling remains. it's not some reach around jerk off or even a sex-laded drag backwards. an embrace. when's the last time he had someone simply put their arms around him for the sake of holding him and nothing more? those sensations are quietly shocking enough that he doesn't answer right away.]
... With the company they keep, ain't surprised.
[it's less they don't recognize people and more they don't care to remember or know. at least the shower's not a blood-splattered mess when they get there. when itadori leans his head against his own, dabi tilts his head to the side with a small frown. not that he can go too far is the sorcerer chases his head cause he's a stubborn idiot. bleh... don't get all nuzzly with him. he's not a cuddler
at first. but in compromise, he's not shaking the guy's arms off his waist. with the shower hot enough, dabi steps to the side, letting itadori get in first to have a few moments to rinse off by himself. then gets in---squeezes in---with him. he's a bit more of a mess than itadori, but doesn't seem to mind the close proximity as he starts rinsing off.]It's fine.
[he can at least warm the area up in spite of the colder water.]
no subject
Date: 9/25/21 21:11 (UTC)it's a tad cramped, making it hard for them to avoid each other's eyes. it wasn't awkward, oddly so, itadori found comfort in their silence as they cleaned up. he didn't reach for the bar of soap yet, instead settling on caressing his hands under the stream; rinsing them. he wasn't even aware on when his gaze started to drift lower, tipping his head with a subtle frown when those blemishes on dabi's hips caught his attention. let's add another note: be careful with your strength next time.
— next time? ah, he wondered if that's possible under their circumstances. they were merely lucky tonight. ]
I think we should talk about boundaries. [ he finally broke the peace. ] I think we both agree on keeping our own affairs private. It's a pretty easy agreement to make since we don't clash.
[ this triggered a random thought in the back of his mind, something he'd been considering for a while. he had a feeling the hero society might be aware of jujutsu sorcerers since the japanese government is involved. it's a wild guess, from a kid who didn't have the brains to defend his theory. he just assumed the government wouldn't gamble on keeping the heroes, which is another significant asset to them and their security, oblivious by other threats within the community, right? would that mean some villains are aware of it too?
for now, he didn't need to repeat himself and express his opinion of dabi's part in the hero/villain friction. or, remind him that he— wish to be blinded of it. itadori felt like a coward to act this way, pay no attention towards a man who is motivated to ruin many lives, spread fear and animosity. it won't be easy, yet it's a promise he plans to keep. ]
I'll ask for one thing. Give me a heads-up if you choose to stop seeing me. Don't disappear.
[ was it a cruel judgment to make of dabi? that man spent most of his life on the run, leaving people behind who are deemed useless, and just because he was kind to itadori tonight— it didn't mean he wouldn't be treated the same. as someone expendable once the curiosity lost its spark. itadori is not here to entertain, carry a show for the sake of keeping dabi interested. all he can offer is a warm meal, friendly company, and lend an ear. pretty mundane things. not dabi's type.
with the bar of soap squished between his hands, he lathers them up; his mouth quirks. ]
Let me guess your boundaries. No fluffy feelings, right?
*cracks knuckles* and now i've finished binging jjk ~ thanks for enabling me
Date: 9/25/21 21:49 (UTC)maybe... maybe he doesn't mind it so much at the moment. itadori's never demanded or pushed too hard. the entire interaction has been positive. thus, he gets away with his arms around dabi and those more intimate motions. for the most part. he's not stopping the touches to his hands, letting itadori turn them over in his hand, clean between his fingers, inspect the damage, even as they stand more or less pressed together under the water running out of the shower head. it's not hard to feel his eyes wandering down his body, looking at the mixture of clean skin and scars.
dabi takes a few of those silent moments to look at---really look at---itadori's face. his eyes, the scars, the emotions that rest behind them. for all his light-heartedness, he carries a huge weight inside him. enough he reaches out to strangers for some sense of relief from it. likely the very core of reason behind his desire for dabi not to get involved. hn... easy enough. he doesn't have time or attention for itadori's realm's problems. got enough here. speaking of.]
That's been the agreement since the start.
[dabi's not told itadori about anything he hasn't seen on the news or in the video. and similarly, despite the occasional prod, dabi's not learned anything about itadori's whatever. which is fine for the most part. he really doesn't like people knowing something he doesn't, especially when those things might involve plans behind the scenes. but he's compromised silently and respected itadori's request not to pry for the sake of not poisoning their time together with their private affairs' shit. it's only the potential clash that might happen that keeps a wary person like dabi curious.
if there are other villains aware of the jujustu sorcerers, that information's been kept at a very close guarded secret. so far no one in dabi's section has heard of it, despite the league joining with the liberation front. perhaps all for one knows about it, because he's all for one, the once king of the underworld. but so far, nothing. it's likely kept to an as-needed basis for the heroes. after all, who really would care if a villain got crunched to death by a curse in the alleyway? at the same time, it's the villains who would likely be the ones causing and generating much of those negative emotions.
perhaps it's for the best. there are many of those downtrodden by society who---if made aware of curses and jujutsu sorcerers---would eagerly jump towards becoming curse users, if not wouldn't sit down and instantly start cranking out so much hate and despair so as to create more misery and attack the heroes with this new power. then again... how many already superpowered heroes wouldn't adopt into the jujutsu sorcerers power and skills and seek to ally to fight the new enemy. they are heroes after all.
it's not cowardice so much as choosing the devil he knew over the devil he didn't. dabi hasn't looked down on itadori for not speaking to him about it. of course, if he tried to interfere with the villain's path, they would clash. perhaps he might not want to kill itadori as callously as he would have before, but... ultimately, revenge is far more important to dabi than a fuck and a friend.]
Not really smart of me to contact ya if I'm plannin on disappearin. [wasn't a cruel judgement at all. it was accurate. he's dropped more important people for less even faster. and normally he kills people he has no intention of seeing again. burning off the loose ends.] But I'll give ya a heads up.
[if only for the meal and the sex. as suds lather up between itadori's fingers and dabi thinks over his own boundaries, he ultimately reaches up and adds his hands to the other guy's hands, letting him work lather over them as well. the water's not coming fast enough, so a mutual soaping won't be a problem. as for himself... dabi gives itadori a flat look at the comment and takes over running the suds along his shoulders and neck. staying in the shower for a long time isn't a preference. it... does things to his scarred flesh that make it kind of gross. still... he does kind of want to stick around in here with itadori for a while, so it might be worth the result.]
Ya can get all the fluffy feelins ya want. Jus' don't expect me to mirror them.
[fluffy is not a word used to describe dabi. and it's a joke if itadori's suggesting he'd be able to curb his own feelings while being with dabi. kid's gonna be fluffy no matter what dabi says to him. so why waste the time fighting that losing battle?]
I laid out my boundaries already. If ya wanna meet, we'll set it up right before. No 24 hr or longer plans. We meet alone, but I ain't settin a time limit once we're together. [that can stay flexible. whether it's an hour or they end ups doing a sleepover, whatever.] Only other thing is don't expect me to be on call for ya. I ain't pickin up the phone if I'm busy.
omg I'm glad you enjoyed it! <33
Date: 9/26/21 20:22 (UTC)We deserve to hear a goodbye, right?
[ while it was tempting to use that opportunity to change dabi's mind, because itadori is fucking selfish and wouldn't want to respect that man's wishes if that time comes— but he knew that's not how it works between them. they are both gambling with their lives every single day, they both had purposes that are deemed far more important than chasing some fever dream. however, if they somehow make it, if dabi didn't grow tired of him before his execution date, or didn't end up dead himself, itadori will dare to call it a happy ending.
the water started losing force, and it is also losing its warmth. it's mildly bothersome, yet itadori is sedated as he watched their hands brush against each other; one corner of his mouth perked up into a slow smile. smitten. sure, it was a tease, those fluffy feelings. or, that's what he thought the second he said it. now that he thinks about it, staring down at his own hands as he missed dabi's touch— he realized it was a reflection on what his subconscious is already aware of. ]
... I don't expect you to return it. You really can't force that kinda thing ...
[ as dabi continued clarifying his other boundaries, itadori thought about what kind of feelings he had for dabi. was it romantic? is it a silly crush? no. those concepts seemed far too empty. the guilt he carried by turning a blind eye to the villain's resolve might have to do more than his fear for the innocent civilians. there is a sense of culpability towards the man before him. it's like watching someone you care about self-destructing, digging his own grave, and all you can do is shrug it off and declare 'it's not my problem'. how can guilt and attachment harmonize together so perfectly?
that's when the water's temperature begun to drop; not yet freezing, but very uncomfortable. itadori glanced toward the other, sighing softly. if they had the option, he would've wanted to attend to his hair as well, but he's fine with getting all the dried mess taken care of for now. he brought a hand up to smooth over a scarred cheek, lightly curling a few hair strands behind dabi's ear as he leaned in for a chaste kiss; nothing more than a brush of their lips. ]
Got it. When you're not so busy, return my calls then. Don't just stare at your notification and do nothing.
[ he then turns to the side, careful with his balance as he stepped out of the shower and reached for the towel. it looked ... decent? no visible stains. let's not try to inspect if it's clean enough, or smell it, he'll just — take a leap of faith and start drying himself; attending to his drenched hair first and then down to his arms and shoulders. he's not dismissive of dabi, if anything, he kept his focus on him the whole time. he wondered if he's bothered by the cold water at all — or is it another blessing of his quirk? ]
it was good~
Date: 9/26/21 21:41 (UTC)deserve to hear a goodbye? dabi merely cants his head to the side, giving him a look that said the opposite. "deserve" around him is a tricky slope. since he already got so much he'd never think he'd "deserve" and yet there it is. all over his body. and his father remains at the top, despite deserving nothing less than life imprisonment. who deserves anything?]
Ya want a goodbye.
[it's fine if itadori wants to be selfish around him; dabi has no right or reason, much less ability, to control that. he's already warned him and retreated, but the sorcerer keeps coming, so much that it's simply not worth the effort to tell him no. itadori can do as he pleases; that means nothing to how dabi reacts. pure as that. maybe the kid could stand to be fucking selfish for once. instead of tossing his life around like it's nothing, trying to save everyone he can and yet sticking himself as nothing more than a cog in a machine. funny thing about cogs... they're small and overlooked, but if one of them breaks, the entire structure grinds to a halt and ultimately collapses in a broken heap. if not, that cog obviously wasn't doing shit and never should've been there in the first place.
dabi's aware he's no longer the cog, but the fucking wrench. his father wanted him to be a hammer, but nope! far more enjoyable to throw himself in there and watch everything crumble around him. might be a gamble, but he's gambled before. hell, his very existence was a gamble, created to inherit power and achieve what endeavor couldn't. his gamble failed. too bad for endeavor it didn't die.
whatever ending he winds up with, likely none of them have itadori in them. the kid has his own life to tend to, far more important things to do than get himself involved with a villain drunk on revenge.
one touch after another, water losing its weight and warmth. he ignores it easily, eyes training on itadori's hands as they move with his own. touching each other and spreading the soap along the curve of shoulders or the cut of collar bones. further down to the sculpture of musculature that's different for both of them, a cable for itadori and a wire for dabi. but his hands are warm... even without a quirk, itadori's hands are warm. does he miss that warmth? not particularly. would he mind having it on him again? ... no. kinda liked it.]
Don't worry. [in that dismissive tone which implies he's gonna say something that'll be opposite the words he just said.] If I die, you'll hear about it pretty quickly.
[yep. definitely something not to worry over. check the papers for the obituaries or the headlines. dabi won't die a pathetic unknown out in the wilderness where no one knows. even if he does, his little brother will probably interrogate the whole damn villainous army on his body's whereabouts. shouto's an emotional little shit who'd chase him to the end of the world if he could.
stand aside and watch me burn. basically what he's telling the other guy to do. this isn't itadori' business or his concern. without knowing anything else about the kid's background or what he's doing, dabi can't hold any preference on itadori's own well-being. apart from mildly being interested in knowing if he's dead or alive, the villain couldn't give much of a shit. without a use for his plans within him, itadori's mostly an escape from his stress and life. which, ironically, he'd be pissed about losing. at least he can admit to that even if it's only been one conversation, a meal, and a fuck. hmph... something he'll have to think about in a little bit.
what itadori feels when he touches dabi under the cold water should tip of him to that question following him in the shower. his scarred body isn't shivering a shred and his skin continues to feel quite warm to the touch. this is the curse of his pathetic mother's genes... instead of developing a resistance to high temperatures like his father, dabi received his mother's resistances to freezing temperatures. and with that furnace of a quirk inside him, doubly resistant to cold. albeit meaning he's physical clashing in compatibility with his own quirk; his body couldn't handle the heat of his own flames and thus overusing them cooks his flesh and body from the inside out. a cold shower like this is nothing.
he accepts the kiss, not leaning into it much, but still returning it with a slight tilt of his head. no real regret for missing out on a hair wash. asides from some sex tousled fluff, it's not like either of them had much mess up there. soaking in the water did it well enough. dabi lets his hands slide off itadori's body in the meantime, giving him permission to leave as he's planning. he'll take a few more seconds in the shower to ensure a rinse off is complete, eyes following the other guy. true, he could've heated the place up easily enough, but they're not at that stage to where he'd use his quirk as some gentle benefiting space heater.]
Ya worry too much. [telling him what to do and all. might stare at the notification and do nothing for the first time or two just to be petulant.] I'll get to ya when I'm able.
[that's all he'll give. at least the towel is clean. this place does have a washer/dryer somewhere in the building. dabi steps out after those few seconds and snags a towel from the counter. wasn't in there long enough for his skin to get weird, though it has soften a little around the edges where the seams meet. enough you could probably peel it if you wanted. there are areas on him where the burned flesh and healthy aren't entirely joined, particularly the areas between the staples. raw flesh lies beneath, peeking through if things stretch too far in the wrong direction. it'll dry out soon enough and be safer to manage.]
Ya did well. I liked it. So next time- [and tosses the towel onto the door as he heads from the bathroom.] -I'm topping.
[show him the other side of that pleasure.]
yay ;u;
Date: 9/27/21 20:21 (UTC)as he stood there, somewhat chewing on his lower lip, in a way muffling back the urge to say something. after taking in a deep breath, itadori shakes it off, watching as dabi stepped out of the shower. the changes in the burned flesh are subtle enough to dismiss, not like itadori is attentive to the small details. still bitter about the previous comment. whether it was intentional or not, the deflection toward their sexual experience served as a good distraction; sobering him up from the rut he was in. such a simple mind yuji has. ]
... For real?
[ he hasn't pursued him out of the bathroom yet, frozen. a bit startled with the possibility of them being intimate again. despite how comfy itadori is with touching, holding, and being 'fluffy' with that villain— he sincerely thought this was as far as they can go, and tonight was an exclusive generosity. he truly believed their upcoming hangouts will be nothing more than sharing a meal, and — found peace in it. therefor excuse him, while he stares at a random wall; the wheels in his head slowly turning and making sense of everything. dabi wants to do it again? with him?
hastily he dropped the towel, ran his hands through his hair to neaten it, heart hammering. his fingers danced with nerves, twitching, shifting, flexing— ]
Okay!!!
[ he blurted out, forcing himself to take the chance and not surrender to his doubts. yes, he almost lost control tonight, but he didn't. itadori chose to take it as an encouragement and have some faith that it will stay this way the next time. now that he consented, he can't take it back. it's done. they're doing this when the time is right.
god, why is his heart still pounding in his chest? with a heavy huff, he leaned down to pick up his boxers from the pile of clothes on the floor, finally covering himself. his gaze shifts towards a nearby closet, upon unlocking it— let's say he didn't expect this shitty motel would offer an extra pair of bedsheets to their guests, which is something they desperately need. after all, they have left their marks on the bed. ]
If we're doing it again, let me know in advance. I'll need to bring some stuff along.
[ the old bedsheets are yanked off, joining the hoard of clothes on the ground, and with some quick work— itadori spreads the new ones, running his fingers over the mattress to smooth it over, getting those edges tucked in; pillows fluffed. by the time dabi pays attention to him again, he'd find the sorcerer chilling on his side of the bed, legs crossed, waiting for him.
with a lighthearted smile, he gestures for the other to come closer. ]
You ready? ♥
no subject
Date: 9/27/21 21:07 (UTC)yeah. tell yourself that doesn't hurt. tell yourself that wouldn't drive anyone insane to have their reason for being extinguished. failure. useless. annoyance. worthless. LOOK AT ME!!
there's nothing left for him to care about. anything new that tries to press in meets the same flames within him. an azure domain that burns and burns and burns everything it touches to ash. cares. emotions. bonds. people. it's all gone inside. itadori'll hear about it on the fucking news because that's what dabi's good for: the sensation of revenge.
it's strange that yuji wants to reach into that hellish realm inside dabi and try to find something to grasp onto and save. hell, protect. but he'll only burn his hand black. they both want things, but at such a diametrically-opposing direction it's impossible to bring into alignment. and yet... there's weight inside itadori that dabi can almost feel. something damaged and hurting. it's not the thing inside him either; it's the kid himself. why else reach for a stranger? why else would a simple comment send him spiraling? simple, yeah. naive, definitely. stupid, of course. human? ... so very tenderly human.
dabi eyes him as he walks past, noting the surprise in his voice and expression as he passes. so eager to jump onto that pleasure all over again and forget the burdens inside. hmph. at least itadori still possesses the ability to be selfish. it's almost attractive.]
Uh-huh.
[the eldest todoroki son has his standards despite being willing to sleep with trash on the same level as dabi and even lower. he'll kick someone out or burn them up (the more likely) if they aren't worth an 'again' with him. itadori is worth more than one 'again' with him. whether it's meeting him for a meal or a fuck, there's something about him that dabi's silently caught. like a shining piece of unknown he can hold in his hand all for himself. not attached to any hero or villain, not involved(ish) with his life or ambitions, but instead a confusing, attractive, curious escape that dabi can't make any use of other than being able to selfishly keep all to his own.
he wants to do it again. wants to eat with him again. wants to see him again. you know, within limits. dabi's not a friendly guy even with the allies he's made in the league. still a lone wolf.
...did he just try to neaten his hair? swore he caught a glimpse of that in the mirror right out the corner of his eye. che, idiot. cute, but idiot. there's still things they have to deal with, but dabi's fine with that. keeping their lives and issues separate from each other leaves them able to focus only on the things generated between them. itadori didn't lose control tonight either and had sex. a big middle finger to whatever fears or blocks he had before keeping him from enjoying that part of life. another person dabi might say he corrupted, but itadori? ... tsk, the kid's so light all dabi can really say is that he managed to free him. in one little area. oh well. sometimes it just takes one rock to bring the house down.
he kicks his boxer briefs out of his pants and then up into the air, catching it in one hand before putting them back on. not really one to sleep in the buff, this is more comfortable. dabi's a bit surprised to see itadori returning with clean bedsheets. didn't expect that. but he accepts it silently and goes to tug the sheets of along with him, taking a moment prior to strip the blanket away before they got some of the mess on that. don't have to change everything.]
What kinda stuff?
[he's assuming lube and perhaps condoms, though it's not like they used one tonight and likely wouldn't use one in the future. maybe some cleaning wipes? he's assisting in changing the bedsheets and so mentally pictures itadori coming to the next meeting with clean sheets in a bag. wow. wouldn't that be like him... leaving the other guy to deal with making it all pretty, dabi heads to the window to slide a finger through the slats, just enough to open it and take a peek outside. as expected... nothing. could do with a smoke right now, but considering who he's with, hmph, guess he'll pass.
by the time he turns back around, itadori's done and dabi eyes him with a curious look at the clean-made bed and his partner sitting there like a little kid with a gentle smile. you really aren't someone who should be hanging around me... said that before and he still thinks it. too bad he knows now itadori's too stubborn to listen. leaving the window, dabi moves back to the bed and kneels on it, moving to just behind the other boy.
he catches him on the top of his head, fingers curled in his hair, and lightly--bur firmly--draws back, tilting itadori's head backwards. just enough he's left staring at the ceiling until dabi leans over him and kisses him upside down. there's the faintest trace and taste of smoke on his tongue, free hand cupping the sorcerer's throat.]
Ya really are impossible.
no subject
Date: 9/28/21 19:58 (UTC)[ yeah, dabi got it right. it was extremely tempting to give in to exhaustion as he relished the bliss of their afterglow, and itadori is still annoyed that he had to break it off and attend to the shower instead. it's a learning experience, so next time he will come prepared. well— if he ever gets the heads-up. you can't always plan out those things. sometimes it just happens.
his gaze shadowed dabi's steps, turning his head to glance back at first, only to be coaxed by a firm tug at his hair. itadori asked no questions, aired no protests, merely complying with it. the pressure on his throat might make someone feel restless, especially with the way his neck flexed, bare, far too vulnerable under the mercy of a man who had blood on his hands. was it blind trust, or foolish devotion? maybe a mix of both.
... oh, that was— cute. he could almost see sparks striking behind his closed eyelids, tipping his chin upward, embracing the kiss with parted lips. itadori didn't dare to move when dabi broke it off to speak, not even an inch. he stares at the other from this peculiar viewpoint, lashes low. his blood has warmed up, and is just roaring hot through his veins. why? because this is the first time dabi reached for a touch, seemingly growing more relaxed around him. in contrast to how their night had started, watching the man right now just felt so—
what was it again? is it 'calming'? 'heartwarming'? itadori couldn't specify it into a single word. it's a mad rush of several emotions all at once. he leaned in again, tongue flicking a line to bisect dabi's lips before kissing the edge of his mouth. ]
Am I? ... Sorry. Tolerate it.
[ gently, he relaxed his neck, sitting up a bit as his arm stretched back to curve around dabi's waist, drawing him close, enough to urge him to settle down next to him. it makes his heart beat faster, warmer... itadori's own smile softens, and he leans toward his partner just a little, lightly touching their foreheads together. even in the heaven of itadori's rare contentment ... 'how can I protect you? — those words persist, a breath away from slipping out. they end up unheard, and he turns his face just enough, lips brushing the other man's ear. ]
I want to be with you. Like this. Whenever we can.
[ and maybe, just maybe, that's all itadori can do for him. if he can't change his mind, change his resolve, make him see that he's sabotaging himself more than the family he's so desperate to punish—then all he can offer is a safe space, a kind company, and a reminder that he doesn't need to be alone all the time. please don't end up all alone. the conception might be enough, even in its simplicity. itadori hopes so.
playfully, he pulled dabi against him before he shoved his weight on the other, and they end up flopping down on the mattress with a loud creak. man, that bed had gone through some shit tonight, and it's still not over. resting on his side, he rolled over to face dabi, with his cheek squished against the pillow. ]
Okay. You need to decide! Pitch black or lights on? Blanket or no blanket? I'll be fine either way.
no subject
Date: 9/28/21 20:38 (UTC)[it's part of the experience. considering they just did it without a condom, dabi's not figuring they're going to require a revisit with one. especially since he's pretty sure itadori'd be curious about what finishing inside feels like, as he had with dabi. and heartless villain as he is, who's he to deny the guy that experience? especially after determining he's gonna fuck him into the mattress to get the other end of the spectrum. (hey, annoyance down; shower was your idea, yuji.)
tilting his head back and kissing him like this glazes towards the intimacy side of things, fingers and palm cupping round his throat flavoring it with something possessive and maybe even threatening. his thumb's right against itadori's pulse point, every beat of his blood thrumming through his flesh. dabi eases the grip on his hair, letting the damp, pink spikes shift between his joints and flutter across his hand. the guy complied with the kiss without question... well, they've not given each other reason to be afraid of the other so far.
parting their mouths only just enough to speak, dabi's words as tangible against itadori's lips as they're audible to his ears. only scarred throat and collar are visible real estate from this point of view for the sorcerer, but a good view's not the point for this kiss. temptation crawls through his lips and teeth to bite him, something aggressive and raw to clash with this sudden dip into the softer, but he brushes the allure aside. itadori's put up with plenty so far and has held to his word. he'll give him a little more leeway for the time being. give instead of taking.
maybe blame it on the afterglow later, despite that being long-since washed down the drain. a wet flick of tongue thuds against his lips, pressing them apart as the taste buds along the surface of itadori's muscle skim across dabi's scorched and fire-crenelated lower lip, a far contrast to the glass-smooth underside of that wet invasion wandering across his healthy upper. before that whole dual experience truncates in a short and sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth.]
If I feel like it.
[what a bratty response. kind of likes it. releasing his neck and withdrawing, dabi surrenders itadori back to himself, resting on his calves behind him. that arm about his waist ultimately draws him out of his perch and he wrangles himself a bit to lean down beside him. attention to his position's momentarily shattered when itadori brings their foreheads together, earning a blink of surprise and then a somewhat narrowed gaze. there's a point where 'too familiar' is breached. this is nearing it. even with sex, dabi's not a touchy feely person this way. it skims it, a fish just under the surface, but doesn't breech as itadori instead goes for his ear.]
Gonna take that at surface value...
[such a statement is way past "dangerous" and into the "over the edge" territory. but to some testament of itadori's offer of a comfortable retreat, dabi doesn't outright dismiss it as his instinctive reaction immediately flares up to do. scorch it, kill it, tell him he's stupid for even thinking such a thing. instead, he'll take it as this. a physical retreat from his life. a place and person he can come to free of his normal baggage. apparently that also comes dealing with itadori's clingyness, but that's not too high a price. he can tolerate it. in exchange, he'll simply offer the same. a place where the sorcerer doesn't have to hold all of his baggage for a little while. that's as comfortable a trade as dabi's willing to make right now. itadori's welcome to fall deeper over the edge, but he won't.
never get attached to someone else. especially not like this... not that the villain has the capacity for those feelings anymore. but he'll at least give itadori that acceptance.
strength and pressure quickly topple him and dabi swings an arm back instinctively, bracing on the bed before his elbow buckles and he drops down onto it with a soft grunt. relax. the beds here have been through worse. sometimes quirks get involved in sex and that can really fuck up the supporting furniture. dabi settles onto his back, one arm draped across his chest, the other one lying at his side.
really? itadori's making a big deal about that? like a carnival game. this kid has too much fun with life. instead of answering, dabi merely kicks the sheets and blanket up from the bottom of the bed and drags them up. despite his resistance to cold, he's never been comfortable sleeping uncovered when he's not wearing his clothes. brings back bad sensations.]
Ya know both of those can be individual decisions. [aka: neither needs to decide to tolerate the other's preference. right before clicking off the light beside the bed.] Light or dark doesn't bother me.
[considering his quirk and all.]
no subject
Date: 9/29/21 21:16 (UTC)the stiff and narrow stare is heard loud and clear. itadori will back off, give him some space, let him breathe. otherwise dabi wouldn't tolerate his advances and drag them back to the stage of caution. or, that man might ghost him completely. now that will be painful; especially after getting so spoiled with their closeness, and given the freedom to be affectionate (even if it's one-sided) with someone. it meant too much for itadori to fuck up. he'll behave for now.
and so, with a knowing smile, he curls up next to the other man, close but not clinging. he's fine with it. itadori is fine with them being here, sharing space, content, and comfortable. ]
I like it dark, with a blanket and a leg sticking out.
[ it's his turn to switch off the light from his side, and like the perfect romantic cliche— the moonlight subtly illuminates the room as it fell into a serene hush. for now, itadori rests on his back, his shoulder touching dabi's, with his head tilt to the side. it's a safe option where he gets some kind of physical contact under their blanket, without smothering the other man. a fair trade between his neediness and dabi's reserve.
he stares at the ceiling, nothing in particular. however, the unwavering smile on his features speaks a lot about how itadori perceived this entire experience. he begins to reflect on this day, from the moment he woke up, to when he joined his classmates, successfully handling a mission, rushing back to the dorms to prepare the meal, meeting with dabi, having his first kiss, his first sexual experience, understanding why he's so infatuated by this man after obsessing about it from the night they met, getting some of his questions answered— and now, he's brought back to this moment. as they relaxed on one bed, under one blanket, with enough trust that he could fall asleep, consoled he's not at risk, nor is dabi.
— to be able to know that he didn't need to be alone. that he could be with someone. all those fears and dreads should no longer paralyze him. to have the freedom to seek the intimacy he craves, a person he could confide in, someone who can reciprocate his feelings. what started as 'never' has made a dramatic twist to 'it might happen!'.
is he allowed to be this happy?
... it's scary. ]
It feels ... weird knowing that I can actually ask someone out now. Well, it's not like people are lining up to date me. But, it feels nice to have an option.
no subject
Date: 9/30/21 02:24 (UTC)in a way... it's frightening, to stare acceptance in the face so readily. those walls of flame come up fast and dabi backs off into the darkness, refusing to allow either of them to move forward any further. it's a warning and both an admission and agreement. as itadori retreats, dabi settles on the bed beside him. might be a sort of unconscious power play here. an understanding that the kid won't push him to far out of fear of being left along, and a similar realization that the villain actually wants this to last a bit longer and so won't burn him.
that smile lingers in the corner of his turquoise eyes even as he shifts them up to the ceiling. it's his presence beside him that he feels. a gentle glow of warmth and the weight of another sharing his bed. thing is, itadori's right; he is comfortable.]
That's specific. [and the obvious solution to the fight between too hot under the covers but too cold with them off.] Over the edge of the bed or in the middle?
[as the room settles into darkness, it's a few seconds before his eyes adjust to the moonlight coming from window. dabi glances towards it. yeah, those curtains are gonna have to be shut before he goes to sleep. not having his face resting unconscious towards an exposed window. later. right now he feels at ease enough to let it stay open, moonlight included. there's no attempt to edge away from the shoulder touching his own, a single point of contact between villain and sorcerer. not going to admit to the subtle attempt his body makes to feel itadori's heartbeat through that contact.
gives him time to think about everything as well. dabi doesn't want to look into this as anything more than two guys meeting and fucking to blow off some steam. some free meals on the side. and yet, it's itadori yuji. which means it's not just that on the other guy's side. a glance over at that smile is enough to tell him that. took a lot of this kid's firsts tonight, from kiss to sex to having a partner no strings attached. what dabi sees as merely a useful thrill is a friendship for itadori. he's probably spent all day excited about it. what dabi gets excited about would horrify itadori and make him cry. they're diametrically opposed so completely, it's fucking insane for them to be together, and yet here they are. which of them is crazy? doesn't know. probably both. it's easier to tell himself this is infatuation, a massive crush on the wrong person, and eventually the kid's gonna wise up and leave. in the meantime... che, fuck it. he'll stick around and see what happens.
admittedly, it's kind of nice to have an escape. someone he doesn't have to look over his shoulder at or think about what use he could make over them. no real suspicions about hiding revenge or attempts to supplant or take down. he's just itadori yuji. someone who's happy to be around him.]
Not sure this'd be counted as a date...
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Date: 10/2/21 04:17 (UTC)[ it's not like dabi can 'see' anything, but he can certainly feel the shifts under the thick fabric, as itadori pushed his leg out. it wasn't really dangling over the brim, but close to it. the perfect balance in his opinion.
for the sake of keeping a blind eye to dabi's criminal, murderous activities— the mundane question of 'how was your day?' is not an option in their case. he will hear the grim details, and it will only trigger a squabble, make this night end on a bad note— therefore, itadori will try his best to avoid that. he deserves one fucking good day, and he'll grab into it with his teeth and nails. now that he thinks about it, dabi had a perk that made their relationship work. that man didn't have the desire to gloat about his wicked sins, often keeping it to himself. while the kid likes to pretend he's doing it for his welfare, it was more of dabi's psyche. for someone who's carrying a heavy load of resentment, he's oddly chill. it's probably why itadori, and some individuals in the league, are encouraged to call him their friend. ]
It's not. I mean ... I wouldn't tell my date I'm 'using them'. It kinda kills the vibe of making it romantic, you know? Then again, we've done some ... very date-ish things?
[ — for two strangers choosing to have casual sex, with no emotional connection, they might've crossed a few lines. itadori rolled his eyes to the side, sneaking a peek at the other man as he ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and slick. the mild confusion with his answer is evident, from the way itadori furrowed his brows, pressed his lips together, eyes narrowed and seemingly lacking certainty. itadori didn't go far in his hunt for a justification; way too tired, instead sighing and returning his attention toward the other man.
god, the way itadori is looking at him ... like he's begging for something, yet he's conscious he's not allowed to. forbidden! it's like a child standing outside a candy store, face glued against the window, in total agony. this screams pathetic, but the sorcerer couldn't give a fuck anymore. ]
Okay, I will let you sleep at peace tonight. I promise. But, can we cuddle next time? Isn't that what people do when they share a bed?
[ maybe if he warned dabi in advance, he wouldn't be so opposed to the idea in the future. it allows him time to be mentally prepared, which diminishes the chance of getting rejected. heh, maybe he's not so stupid after all! ]
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