[ being 'naive and stupid' is a double-edged sword in their case. itadori could've poisoned the food. he could've been recording their conversation, or allowed the heroes to track his location for a coordinated ambush. he could've been prepared to go against dabi's quirk, with some sort of plan. the truth is— even with how careful dabi is, this could've backfired on him. badly.
a villain, a murderer, a danger to society ... oh, so many reasons for itadori to be anything but tame. dabi is right about questioning it because it didn't make any sense. being touch-starved is not a leading motive, only a mere perk to whatever the fuck is inciting itadori to be here. between all the gibberish chatter in his mind, one word is clear enough to be used as a justification: curiosity.
he pats the dust off his fingers, getting rid of it before he pushed himself off the sofa. a few easy steps brought him closer, and he settles down next to the other. it was hard to bite back to smug pride for getting what he wants— the smile is less innocent and more cocky at this point. it didn't linger, because that question is worth an honest answer. ]
It is important that you realize I'm not here to hurt you. You're too stiff, and if I return that energy, this will be a terrible experience for both of us. One of us needs to relax ... until the other does so too.
[ he nods, confident about the way he interpreted himself. he then turned his attention to what remains of the meal, leaned forward with his arms folded on the table; content with allowing dabi to eat as much as he wants. he'll just grab a burger on the way home. ]
So ... I watched your broadcast earlier.
[ you know what? fuck it. even if he couldn't process his own thoughts, the topic itself is difficult to dismiss. at least itadori recognized they're not meeting up to chat about mundane themes as if they're old friends. there is something itadori wants from him, and he intends to elaborate. he hums, squinting his eyes while idly rubbing the back of his head, ruffling his hair. ]
But ... I'll be honest. It's hard for me to figure out how I feel about it. There are some parts that made me understand your frustration, but not your actions, and other parts ... such as a hero killing a villain ... that part made me think-
[ that's where the broadcast got somewhat personal. he doesn't expect dabi to answer any of the questions that haunted his mind at the time, the ones that made him a bit provoked, but- ]
When is it okay to kill someone? How can we judge someone's death is for the 'greater good'? Or, when they are worth saving?
[he's aware of all those if's and has taken the time and notice to assure himself that itadori's not someone who'd do such a thing. dabi's a perceptive person and he's able to tell things about other people even if he knows them only a short while. some of it's educated assumptions, some survival instinct, some is research and learning. does he know everything itadori is? no. is the guy going to attack him? no.
poison, ambush, fight, none of those things are sitting on the couch across from him. well, excluding whatever this "dangerous to others" ability the kid's hiding. dabi still has no doubts about their clashing worldviews and opinions. itadori's a hero and dabi's a villain. one seeks to protect, the other to destroy. and yet, he's come here with food for him. has to be some merit to that, right? even if it makes no sense.
not expecting his offer to be dismissed, he merely glances to the side when the other guy settles down beside him, making sure to keep some distance between them because he's not about to get chummy with him. dabi returns to the soba, leaving itadori to smile for nothing until he opts to answer the question.]
Uh-huh. [slurp slurp] Had too many betrayals to think otherwise.
[the idea of relaxing around a stranger is basically asking to get a shiv between the ribs or otherwise jumped and back stabbed. despite his lazy and tired appearance, dabi's pretty alert, attentive, and tense. or perhaps his appearance is because of always being on edge. burns aside.
in the end, however, he does slide the container to the side, leaving portion of the soba noodles and sauce for the other guy. dabi silently relocates the container of tofu to the table beside itadori's elbow, then picks a piece with his chopsticks. probably not smart to gorge himself on this kind of delicacy.]
Answer all ya questions?
[he figured he did. itadori might come off as stupid and naive, but dabi isn't sure he's a complete idiot. the movie explained a lot. who dabi was, his background of child abuse under endeavor's hands and the domestic abuse the rest of his family went through from the same man, his father's ambitions and who/what he sacrificed for those, as well as hawks' history and murder. the lies of the heroes and results of their deception and arrogance. throwing the society into a distrusting chaos.]
Thought I made the reasons for my actions pretty fuckin clear.
[exposure, uprooting the false heroes and hollow society to make way for the worthwhile one where there was actual freedom and truth instead of being shackled by lies and abuse. though in dabi's personal case: sadistic revenge.]
You're the hero. You should have answers for those. I don't give a shit bout killin someone.
[ there's a gloomy sigh, and an equally weary expression of pure disappointment in itadori's face when he uttered those words. no, he didn't expect dabi to fulfill those questions for him, considering how he knew nothing about his situation, but for someone who's actively condemning the hero society— he kinda expected some kind of preaching on how they should do their job. then again, dabi probably has no interest in 'fixing' anything, and would rather focus on his own revenge. while bringing everyone down with him.
his father should be held accountable for his part, itadori will never oppose that. killing innocent people, who had nothing to do with dabi's past, is— incredibly irrational and selfish. regardless, to avoid repeating himself, itadori spared him the righteous lecture. dabi knew how he felt about his actions; he knew where the boy stood. if he had to pick a side, it won't be the villains.
half-sulking, he picks another piece of tofu, and with some crafty work— he'd swirl the noodles and a piece of beef into one ball, dipping it in the sauce before he pops it in his mouth. just like that! a subtle way to teach dabi the joys of fusing flavors, or his odd way of feasting. and perhaps an exhibit of his poor manners because he's talking while savoring the bite- ]
I'm sorry about what happened to you as a kid. I won't get into your family affairs, but I simply wanted to let you know I've seen the broadcast. I felt like I was sneaking around earlier. Even when you made it public ...
[ while it is a sensitive topic, it felt cruel not to express his remorse for past events. no child should go through this. dabi didn't deserve any of it. as much as itadori wished he could say it out loud, he had a feeling it will only make dabi be more uncomfortable around him. he held it back, instead conversing about something more lighthearted. ]
I bet it's hard for you to walk into a grocery store, so if you need anything ... use me? I'm a friendly face.
[ yes, he is helping a criminal, but— he's just getting him some food. a guy gotta eat! ]
[dabi wasn't raised with those kinds of notions. burn harder, move faster, get stronger, whatever stands in your way is nothing to you. overcome. surpass. all that matters is being greater than *fill in the blank*. endeavor shoved his ambition down his throat and spread it through his mind until that's all he could think about. destined for greatness. deserving of the attention of his father to make those dreams come true. there was no room for, or even the experience of, softer things like valuing life or the bonds between family members. endeavor ripped out his son's brakes and then abandoned the car.
as for how heroes should do their jobs... psh. simple answer is "don't". there are no true heroes. no hero came to help him, or the rest of his family. they stood by and did nothing. let it all happen. too concerned with their own fame and glittering ranking system to give a shit about the people who needed their help. no, dabi had no interest in "fixing" anything because he didn't care about anything. only what would destroy endeavor even more. which included killing people with endeavor's own flames.
it's just a happy coincidence that he can make use of the league and the plf to forward his own agenda. hell, half the reason he wanted to toss itadori's offer out the proverbial window is because he already knows the guy won't be of any real use to him.
still, since the kid's not giving him any lectures on how he's wrong, dabi's not giving itadori tirades on the corrupt wretchedness of the heroes. it'd ruin the food.
turquoise eyes wander to the side, silently studying how the sorcerer combines the noodles around the tofu and beef piece and coats it in sauce. his chopsticks pause in his mouth during the whole process. tsk... takes a second or so, but he reaches for a piece of tofu and then tries to mimic what itadori just did. it doesn't work as well and he's left scowling at the messy grip of tofu and beef with a noodle dangling from it. not like dabi's one to talk about manners and keeping shut up with one's mouth full.]
So you watched it.
[he opts for the tofu piece, giving up on attempts at combining them. not as skilled as itadori. what really was there to say? the kid saw his past and what happened. but he knows already it won't change the guy's heroic mindset. even if he says he won't get involved, itadori's the kind of person who would jump in between dabi and endeavor and yell at them to stop fighting. just like that stupid deku kid. he cares too much.]
Now ya know everythin.
[picking up the piece of meat, he stuck it in his mouth, only to pause at that hare-brained offer floating out beside him. dabi looks at him, eyes slightly wide from surprise. then narrow a little in suspicion and maybe a tiny trace if wry amusement. use me, he says. the villain slowly draws his chopsticks out and munches on the food a few times before swallowing.]
I got other means of groceries. [especially with the league now running the plf. or what's left of it under all for one. still...] Why don't we keep doin this?
[groceries, dabi can get without a problem. a home cooked meal? not so much.]
I don't know everything. You're more than your past, Dabi.
[ even when his upbringing had a huge influence in shaping him into the man he is today, itadori would like to believe there is more to dabi than pure revenge. he's not a tool, he's a human. there must be days where he just wanted to be himself, unwind, maybe entertain a secret hobby or think about an old friend. maybe think about how his life could've been if his father wasn't blinded with his unrealistic demands. you don't lose your humanity so easy.
it brings itadori back to their phone conversation. 'no one is born evil' — was it? he dwells on it as his eyes follow the way dabi attempted to mimic his craft, only to give up way too soon. in that specific scene, reading into the villain's stoic features, he can't see evil right now. all he can see is someone who got hurt, abandoned, mistreated and someone who loved his father so deeply. itadori has an intimate affair with 'evil'. if he puts dabi and sukuna side by side, they don't look alike. the contrast is: dabi can have a change of heart, while sukuna is incapable of it. why? one is human and one is not.
he takes in a subtle breath, nodding his head and sobering up; back to reality. ]
Okay! I can do that. I'll probably be gone for a bit, but I'll be back next week. Tell me what you wish for me to prepare. Oh, and I'll make sure to bring some drinks next time!
[ he breaks their eye contact, idly examining the kitchen- ... or what he could see from where they're sitting, which isn't much. he ends up unconsciously ruining dabi's personal space by leaning to his side. okay, that stove didn't look like it can function at all. ]
I don't think I could use this kitchen. I kinda wanted to. It would be nice to be able to serve it on the spot, fresh and warm ...
[ in case he wished to have something other than cold soba. speaking of which, he noticed there isn't much left of the food, just enough for itadori to pull his little trick again— but this time, he holds it up for dabi to enjoy. the gesture is clear; he fully expects him to open his mouth and accept it. it's happening. ]
[but oh how much in the wrong direction that goes. he's "more" only in the sense he's experienced things his father would never want him to experience, he's grown stronger than his father (just like endeavor always wanted), he's learned skills dad never would've taught him. and all of it's spiraled right back around into this wreck that applies everything he was and is into the revenge he seeks. all of this in order to destroy the man who killed him. the rest is all burned black.
he's sicced a villain on his own brother and sorely regrets natsuo surviving because what a face it would've put on endeavor if he'd died. he's tried to murder shouto right in front of endeavor. he's killed innocent people simply because he could. there's nothing "human" about that. just want to be himself? hah, that's a joke. there's no one in here. he could only be what endeavor wanted him to be. never had a chance to learn who "touya" was. it's why "dabi" emerged from that burning mountain. touya was too weak to be anyone out from under endeavor's thumb.
might argue the 'born evil' part for a few scant examples, but for the most part, he agrees with it. it's a person's upbringing and their circumstances that affect their choices. touya never grew up thinking he'd be dabi. it was only after that night, alone, hurting, despairing, confused, and abandoned, that everything finally snapped completely. or maybe he snapped earlier, when that little shit shouto, the perfect puppet, was born and he lost everything...
true, he's not an evil spirit, not a being composed of nothing but malicious intent. but a change of heart's no longer possible. he's going to ruin his father and murder him even if it kills him. end of story. something he doubts itadori can even get his head around because of his own upbringing. they think too separately.]
I'm not makin a schedule of this. [there's a difference between making something regular and setting things in stone. with as cautious as dabi is, it should be obvious he wouldn't want someone knowing where he's going to be for any period of time in advance. itadori only got less than 24 hours warning and even that was to a vague location.] I'll call you when I want to meet.
Can ya make this again? [dabi glances at the containers.] Enough for two if ya want to share.
[when itadori leans into him to... look at something, dabi doesn't respond to it. save for rolling his eyes a little and picking up a piece of tofu. but it'll be impossible for itadori not to feel the temperature rise close to his chest and shoulder when he brings himself into dabi's space. the villain runs hot, like there's a fire inside him that won't go out.]
Won't be meeting here. I'll find another place. [something tells him this guy has no idea what keeping a low profile and working covert missions actually entails.] Bring a burner if ya want.
[ignoring the fact dabi's his own burner. he's not letting itadori or anyone use him like that, dammit. might heat up a bath for himself or a pot of water to do some ramen, but fuck acting like people's personal fire--
food.
dabi pauses, one brow furrowing in suspicion and faint annoyance when he finds a hovering spiral of noodle, beef, and tofu floating in front of his face. he glances behind it at that smile and those eyes, understanding full well itadori expects him to open up... tch, this fucking kid...
...
...
tsk, he leans in and opens his mouth, letting him do what he wants. he'll eat it anyways.]
dabi wouldn't have to wait for long, and with a careful touch— he brought the piece closer and inside his mouth, holding still until the other takes the bite, pulling the chopsticks away a second later. a small droplet of the sauce lands on the corner of dabi's mouth, and out of habit, itadori used the tip of his thumb to wipe it clean. it's one of those instants when you act before you think, except in itadori's case— the realization never reached his mind. he genuinely didn't think it was a big deal.
his attention falls on the empty containers now, leaning forward to collect the lids, sealing them shut one by one as he speaks. ]
Ah, okay. Cold soba again, got it. I might try another side dish. If you have a specific request, let me know. Otherwise, I'll choose.
[ the 'bring your own burner' remark is odd, and itadori was so close to point out his fire quirk could be used in something other than burning his victims, but (luckily) he refrained from commenting. it's not illogical to predict dabi is not into that kinda thing. he might find it offensive ... ? somehow.
more importantly, itadori had a very inconstant schedule himself. jujutsu high didn't offer the luxury of a 24-hour cautionary, often ending up being called onto the scene and hearing about what they're dealing with on the way over. he might end up canceling on the villain more than he wishes for, and he's unsure if he should elaborate on his circumstances in advance— or just hope he can pull it off whenever dabi hits him up. okay, there is no point in stressing about this. itadori will deal with it in time.
with everything tucked neatly inside the lunch bag, itadori is free to face the other now, fingers idly drumming on the edge of the table. his gaze drops to the small gap between them, slowly tracing upward until he caught those eyes again. their body language spoke a thousand words; with itadori being more unguarded, and the villain heavy with doubts. while others might feel disheartened by it, itadori is anything but that. ]
Maybe next time you'll relax more ...
[ a lighthearted comment. no pressure, no sense of urgency. dabi is allowed to move at his own pace. ]
[he may be insane, but dabi still manages to have something of a casual personality under that charred exterior. at least it gets him some food. and yeah, the combination of the flavors and textures make that one bite better than all the others. don't call him 'endearing,' ya sap...
he frowns a little at the sudden swipe of a thumb on the edge of his mouth, itadori getting to it before his tongue can. he'll... let him get away with it this time. it's probably a strange feeling on the kid's thumb anyways. the corner of his mouth is where three textures meet: smooth skin of his upper lip, hard metal of a staple, and tough wrinkle of the burn scar. dabi turns his head away and focuses on chewing the piece so he wouldn't have to think about the touch. itador's free to do whatever he wants in the meantime.
each container snapping shut sounds a little too loud in the quiet area, a reminder the time is over and the meal is done. well, meal yes. he's pretty sure he can easily get itadori to stay simply by doing whatever outside of attacking him or leaving. hell, the former might get him to stay for some crazy reason. protection or defense or that whole trying to reach out to him weirdness.]
No fish, no plain rice.
[anything else asides from that, he'll eat. while he'd focus more on survival than being picky, the those two in particular make him want to throw up. so there's no point in even trying to force them down his throat. there are some... bad memories associated with the taste and smell.
luckily for itadori, dabi won't take any break off of any potential set meeting as an insult. he's aware the guy has his own things going on (some day he's going to find out what) and since he refuses to give itadori more than a few hours of direct heads up, he can't expect him to be ready to go every time. it'll be hit or miss and neither of them will be tied down to the other. just the way dabi prefers it: no strings attached. besides, spontaneous meetings mean there's little way itadori can prepare anything too complex. dabi doesn't want him wasting a lot of effort on him.
attention's turned on him once again and dabi eyes him form the corner of his gaze. he's still wary, never lost the doubts about itadori's intentions. but they're sitting together, here, close, so apparently some of those guarded notions have abated or at least been lowered. the idea of relaxing around him is somewhat laughable... but also something a small flicker in his mind kind of wants to experience. he's comfortable enough around the league to actually sleep with them in the same or nearby rooms, and that says something.
but between them?]
Think ya made your intentions clear. [however, it's dabi who leans forward slightly this time, enough that faint ghost of warmth from a hot body brushes at the edge of itadori's skin. turquoise eyes meet amber, holding them without hesitation.] What do ya want from me?
[ he already knew of dabi's hatred for fish, but plain rice is a valuable input— since he was already considering creating a dish including it. nothing to worry about, itadori is well off in the kitchen, and an idea will come up. he aims to impress.
with one hand holding into the band of his lunch bag, with the plan of freeing dabi from the chains of keeping his guard up around him, itadori froze just in time to hear that question. the focus on 'me' is hard to dismiss, along with the way that man got close enough to, finally, notice the inhuman warmth coming off of that body. it made him wonder if he should be threatened but chose to believe it wasn't deliberate.
back to the question— itadori always seemed to have some kind of edge in the way he regards others, eyes naturally intense. this time it was different. it's an odd thought, but he was more at ease with taking the lead this entire night. for him to approach dabi first, for him to be the one to demand acceptance, for him to reach for a touch— now it felt dabi is taking it away from him. being caught off guard a bit.
interesting. itadori never thought he would care about that. ]
I guess I wish to start ... questioning if an authority figure is always right.
[ it started with 'I don't know why I'm seeking him', but the more he indulged in a conversation with that man, it made itadori define why he found him so unique. well, perhaps dabi is not that special. every villain probably had a similar mindset, along with the rebels and those who are unmindful of the rules. not that itadori is seeking that extreme, he is still committed to doing what is expected of him. he'd save as many people he can. his loyalty will forever be to those he cares about. but-
why must he accept the fate they imposed on him? why is he deemed unworthy of saving? why isn't there an open discussion to find alternative solutions that didn't result in him being executed? he is a good person. he is doing his best.
is he allowed to ask to live?
he searched the other man's eyes, still frozen, and then slowly let go of the bag; hands dropping on each knee. ]
Also, you're an appealing distraction. It feels kinda dirty, but I've been honest in our phone call. No one talks to strangers unless they seek some sort of escape.
[ a pause, he then frowns and shifts his gaze to the side; embarrassed with wording it this way. ]
I want to be your friend. I like you, but ... how long can we keep the peace? We'll clash at some point, right?
[it's not that he hates rice. season it. fry it. flavor it. just don't serve it plain. the scent and taste make him nauseous. pavlovian response. it's ironic that this kid's some kind of cook along with the rest of the stuff he does. then again, plenty of those u.a. kids are multi-talented.
the heat of his body isn't deliberate; that's simply how his temperature runs due to his quirk. but if itadori wants to take it as a threat, dabi's not about to try and change his mind. he's never pretended to be anything but dangerous and guarded. itadori's been the one to instigate everything, from the conversation to the offer to reach out to the food prep to even sitting beside him. it's probably the first time dabi's voluntarily responded to that lead with an actual request with himself as the offering party.
take a bit of that initiative back for himself, rather than sitting here as the reactor. the answer he gets, however, earns a wry expression. interesting topic but it's not like he's been much a voice for accepting what the authority in his life says. he's even encouraged itadori to consider his own figures above him and whether or not what they say is true, or merely something they want him to believe.]
I ain't gonna stop ya from doing that. Feel free to tell me once ya find out someone's leadin ya around.
[because he'll never trust someone with that kind of power or position. as far as dabi's concerned, they're all corrupt and untrustworthy. does he trust itadori? not really. on the surface, he can admit the kid's here for curiosity and perhaps some misguided attempt to understand and/or "help" him, even if he tries to disguise it under the name of "friendship" spawning between them. still...
it's a strange combination. dabi hasn't accepted his fate in one way, and yet has done exactly that in another. his salvation was forfeit long ago in exchange for his revenge and he'll viciously cling to the latter with no hope of the former because it's impossible for the two to coexist within his life. as for alternatives... well... blame society on that. (though he'd laugh if itadori ever called him a "good person" aloud.)
as the bag settles and things seem to shift from an imminent departure to a stay of leave, dabi continues regarding itadori's expression and face, nothing broken or open on his own. he remains as steely and enigmatic as ever.]
Oh yeah?
[he remembers the phone call, what itadori said in it, what he wanted. so that's still hanging around, huh. interesting. appealing and dirty aren't exactly bad ways to describe the distraction dabi is. a little bit flattering, in the sarcastic admittance. a sort of escape from itadori's normal life. that's entirely possible and he might actually be okay with it.]
Ya barely know me outside of that phone call and my video, but ya say you wanna be my friend and you like me. Sounds kinda desperate and shallow, kid. Not that I mind.
[as for the other part, dabi merely scoffs. peace versus battle between them is an easy answer.]
Don't get in my way and we won't.
[itadori knows now what he wants to do. so long as he doesn't interfere with that, dabi won't have much reason to attack him. it's not like he'll go out of his way to bother the kid either; he doesn't need whatever he's got going on interfering with his plans.]
As for that other thing... there's a bed in the other room.
It's not desperate and shallow. It's not! It's- ...
[ -hard to unfold. itadori had some really good friends; he's not the type to struggle with creating new alliances everywhere he goes. he's not 'alone' in that aspect. it's a lot deeper than that. it might have to do with the fact dabi is oblivious to who he truly is somehow created a sense of escape? god, he didn't know anymore. it was too draining to narrow it down.
he offers the villain a flat stare. ah, don't get in the way, and we won't have a problem— yeah, that's the uncomplicated theory of it. it still felt bothersome to be told not to react, in any given situation. chances of them crossing paths in the field are slim, true, but ... don't kill someone in front of him, you! which reminds him, he needs to come up with a scheme against those flames. you know, just in case!
the bed comment barely triggered any reaction. at first! itadori ends up following dabi's gesture, glancing toward the bedroom door, blinking, staring— it hasn't reached his brain yet. aaaaany second now.
3
2
1 ... ]
Oi!
[ yup, it's here. despite the burn in his cheeks, itadori reassured himself that man simply had a weird, lewd sense of humor. if he wished to hang out with him more, he should get used to it and not take it to heart. a sigh followed, somewhat striving to be dismissive, while still keeping his eyes on dabi. it reflects on a subtle inner struggle; swinging from being tempted to rejecting the idea. either way, the sorcerer is not hating it. he really isn't used to someone being this forward with him. ]
... You didn't even want to sit next to me a minute ago, and now you're acting like everything is okay. What's wrong with you?
[ for once, this is where dabi should be wary of him. there is no need in repeating his concerns, he trusts that man is smart enough to remember the warning during their previous phone conversation. which brings him back to the hypothesis of it being a mere joke. straightening his back, itadori parodied a serious, contemplating expression— arms folded against his chest. ]
Is this really your way of asking someone to have sex? Aren't you supposed to be smooth and charming? No flirting or sweet talk?
[ he tilts his head to the side, taking it more seriously now. ]
If things turn bad, will you still agree to meet me?
[he doesn't attempt to counter the protest, instead finding some amusement in itadori's attempts to shove away the comment. someone who'd reach out to a random stranger and repeatedly fight for the chance to form a bond and make a friend. even after learning those horrible things about dabi, he still wants to claim attempts at friendship. it sounds so desperate. stubborn. shallow. friendship requires trust and trust takes far more time and experience than this. but itadori thinks it can come simply out of a sheer stubborn will and proclaiming it so. kind of mind-boggling in its naivety.
and a little interesting to watch him struggle with it.
dabi has no doubts they could cross antagonistic paths. and yet, it sounds so easy to avoid doing so. the kid's already hinted about not being involved with the heroes and villains running around the society. but the secret "thing" itadori is involved with instead, the heroic nature the kid holds close to his chest, those things could very well cause friction between them if crossed. and dabi has no idea what that "thing" is. stepping on an unknown landmine trigger that makes "not my problem" turn into "getting involved" in a few seconds flat.
mah, well... he doubts he'll ever kill someone in front of itadori if this is what their interactions are going to be.
oh? no reaction? and here he thought he'd break into the flustered protests he'd been privy to on the phon-- ... never mind. the corner of his mouth quirks up in the bastard child of sneer and smirk as itadori's face blooms crimson. took a bit, but it hit. a lewd sense of humor? hardly. it's simply something the kid had brought up before and dabi found intriguing enough to needle him with. taunting people comes easy to him. doesn't believe the dismissive exhale, but he lets him get away with ducking the issue. mostly because he knows itadori's going to be thinking of it for a while.]
Oy, oy. Nothin's "wrong" with me. [the way he says it, however, implies he's well aware the opposite is very much true. there's so much "wrong" with him according to the society in which they live.] Hn, weren't ya the one who said you wanted to try it?
[towards the end of the phone call. oh he's wary of itadori. never once has he relaxes his internal guard around the kid. food and company albeit, he's still a potential threat. yeah, dabi remembers what he said about a quirk-like ability running out of control if he gets distracted enough. but he also figured itadori's a fighter. and if you can fight and still keep in control, sex can operate very similarly. besides, this kid's certainly jerked off before and no one's died from it. right?
dabi leans back to his previous perch by the table, regarding the other guy's cross-armed stance as much a bluff as it obviously is.]
This ain't that kinda porno, kid. [while he certainly can be charming and smooth, he has to want to be. and 99/100, he's not with someone he wants to be that with.] Ya think I'll dump ya cause you're bad at sex?
[the villain's eyes shift towards him, head tilting to give him a look that's curious, predatory, threatening, and intrigued. there's no fear anywhere.]
Everyone wants to try it at some point. It's human nature ...
[ fun fact: he stopped jerking off the second he started sharing a body with something as taunting as sukuna. the never-ending jokes and bullying he will endure if he allowed that curse to witness such an intimate moment. in his mind, it was different if he's experiencing it with someone. less shameful? regardless, it's not like itadori is self-conscious about it. it's more of him finding it difficult to have a boner knowing his audience is sukuna. yup.
itadori squints, groaning afterward as he muttered 'stop calling me a kid' under his breath; finding it condescending. as for being terrible in bed? well, duh. he'll own up to it. he has never done it before, zero experience outside of what you see in the movies, and pretending to be a sex expert is not an option. itadori wouldn't start such rumors. if dabi is expecting a mind-blowing orgasm, that won't happen. which begs the question — why is the villain entertaining this? not only the offer is bad sex; it's also potential risk. how is that erotic in any way?
their chitchat grasps an abrupt turn, taken back by those words. his expression slipped a little on the edges, lips pressed together. this could be the first time itadori is genuinely provoked. his hand settled on the coffee table again, tapping the tip of his index finger against the wooden surface; it's hasty at first, and it slows down as his mind centered on an answer. or, in this case, another question. ]
Are you really open to this?
[ what's the point of a debate if this is nothing more than a joke. itadori can't tell between honest curiosity or teasing when it comes to that man. it's pointless to express himself if it is not taken to heart, hence he didn't bother. the displeasure on his face is unwavering, flexing his fingers, so they can cradle his cheek as he rests his head, elbow propped in support. ]
Besides, you give a vibe of someone who's selfish in bed. Am I wrong?
[ would dabi really go slow with a first timer? allow itadori the chance to explore what felt good and what didn't? is he going to be gentle or rush? it requires patience he's pretty sure dabi will refuse to offer. attraction aside, which the villain is really enticing, in spite of those scars— that's not enough to make it a good experience. ]
You don't even trust me with a kiss. Would you even allow me to touch you? Brush my fingers over your throat ...
[ what? it could happen unintentionally. in the heat of the moment. ]
[he can't deny it. growing up led to some experimenting as well. before his untimely "death" and all. then those childhood experiments went straight into the darkness, turning into another tool for survival, manipulation, or killing boredom. dabi's still completely in the dark regarding itadori's hangups about sex, though he's wondering if it's something like shigaraki's. before his "leader" managed to get more control of his quirk, if all five of his fingers touched something, the decay would start. not a fun thing to deal with when having sex. considering itadori hasn't fucked anything up from touch yet, dabi's guessing it's something else. maybe internal? concentration? remote?
tough shit. still calling him a "kid" because he is. though he might graduate to "guy" after another meeting or two. doesn't help that itadori's the same age as those u.a. kids dabi's contended with a few times already. that said, doesn't look like the other guy's (see?) going to defend himself against the suggested accusation he's gonna be bad in bed. of course he is; he's probably dealing with a fucking virgin over here. who may or may not touch himself at night. psh, still a "kid", greenhorn.
so no, he's not expecting any mind-blowing sex or even remotely good sex. hell... it's sex. he's had good, bad, painful, risky, boring, weird, dangerous sex before. itadori's not going to show him anything different. there's nothing "erotic" or "romantic" about it. sex is an action, feels good (most of the time), and best of all, for a little while during, you stop fucking thinking. about anything. that makes it addictive.
itadori goes serious and dabi knows he's struck a nerve. that's fucking rich. talk of villainy and death gets a smile and dodge, but bring up sex and suddenly there's a problem. priorities, itadori. so he provoked him. good. about time he lost that eternal smile.]
Second time I've brought it up to ya. Don't care if ya say yes or no. Won't matter to me in the end.
[one, it's not a joke. he's offering. two, it's not serious. despite the illogical contradiction, dabi's shown more caution to someone cooking for him and sitting behind him talking friendship than he's showing the offer of fucking. or, it could very well be itadori's proven himself at least somewhat trustworthy. enough to toss this on the proverbial table.
the answer he gets, in the form of some questions, however, earns a brief crack of a grin at the side of his mouth. quick, sarcastic, and amused, but it's not a negative response. so that's what he's worried about? granted, dabi can be extremely selfish in bed. take what he wants and leave as soon as he's done, screw what his partner feels about it. but that's a choice, not a practice.
he settles his jaw on his hand, elbow propped on the table as he regards yuji with a curious gaze.]
Why dontcha try to kiss me now?
[there's a brief flicker of blue flame of the side of his lips. itadori mentioned dabi doesn't trust him, but the villain's using that little flash of his quirk to suggest itadori doesn't trust him either. though he's welcome to prove him wrong...]
If I'm selfish, it's cause I wanna be.
[turquoise eyes narrow at him, taking a slightly more serious tone to that notion of fingers on his throat.] So long as ya don't try to kill me... [he lets that hover as the main stipulation. if it's just sex, it's just sex.]
[ if dabi thought he got annoyed because they are discussing sex in general, and not the fact he's downgrading what other victims have been through because of sukuna's short moments of freedom— then he's mistaken. itadori didn't like how the villain is making a mockery over his own, personal anxieties. then again, dabi is blinded. an excuse not to feed the kindle of resentment that is growing from within. however, he can tell dabi is the type of crazy who would mock it even if he knew what he's dealing with. he's the type to die with a smirk on his face, isn't he?
at this point, itadori is certain words won't reach him. they will end up going back and forth, even when he expressed that he's not keen on the idea. dabi going as far as taunting him for a kiss is— shocking. but, what urged itadori's breath to stutter is the bold offer to make him take the lead. him? this virgin who never been touched before? get on top and fucking lead?
for real?
it's pretty evident dabi is looking at him as this desperate kid waiting to get his dick sucked. it's just insulting in so many ways. did he expect him to roll on his back and start wagging his tail happily? itadori didn't even notice the way he chewed on his lower lip, fingers curling into tight fists, for a brief moment, before flexing again. ]
You're used to taking advantage of people and have people treat you the same. That's why I don't think you'd object if I asked for it from our first conversation. I didn't need to make you the meal you wanted. Or, try to reassure you that I don't want to be your enemy. I'd be straightforward, get what I want, and never speak to you again. And you wouldn't mind. That's how you like it.
[ despite his words, itadori kept an easy tone. it was not deliberate to make it sound so intimate, but it was how he felt about the whole thing. truth is, he wouldn't mind a kiss. it's a soft display of goodwill, one that's not exclusive to romantic couples— or that's what itadori conceived. every time he gets a sense of being closer to that man, warm up to him, the sorcerer gets burned and pushed back again. dabi just knew how to get to him, without him fucking knowing anything about his situation.
it's terrifying— the thought of what he could do if he did. it's probably why sukuna is feeding on his toxic energy. what a show, indeed. ]
Fine, I'll kiss you.
[ there's a pause, he then grabbed the bag and pushed himself up to his feet. he stares the other down before he shrugged his shoulders. ]
I'll even fuck you. Since you gave me permission to try it out on you, right? Since you're cocky and stupidly confident, you'll be fine. I'll do it all ... when you stop acting like an asshole.
[ it can't be that hard. ]
You can do it. I've just seen it. A few moments ago. You were thankful for the homemade meal, right?
[a short time of knowing him and itadori's got some parts of dabi figured out. of course he can't know about the other guy's internal demon (semi-literally) or the depths of those anxieties, but considering itadori knows there's a risk to sex thanks to that unknown threat, it suggests he's experienced something traumatic enough to make it a warning. but unfortunately, those pesky things like guilt and mercy and not being a rude ass involve "feelings", and dabi's not really big on them anymore. burned up a long time ago. while he won't harp on them like some schoolyard bully, he is bringing them up again because itadori obviously wants to do it, but keeps backing down with protests, silent and verbal. consider it enabling taunting from a bad influence this kid really shouldn't be listening to.
and a smirk would depend on how he dies... still, yeah, he's crazy enough to have a go at this oddity. kissing, fucking, stripping, whatever. itadori's proven at least somewhat trustful thanks to that meal and the lack of any cops busting through the walls. if the thing he's worried about is truly such a threat, itadori never would've let himself get that close to dabi or anyone else. some of it's curiosity on the villain's part. he'd rather not stake his life on the line for indulging in this particular fun, but... well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
itadori's stuttered breath and gape when he pitches that offer of the reins keeps the entertainment going. this night's shaping up to be interesting... please, it's not like he's scared of some kid fumbling his way through sex with him. what's the worst that could happen?
earlier on, yeah, he called his attempts at getting closer shallow and desperate. now, some of that opinion has laxed a bit. not so much desperate as relieved and surprised at getting a chance to do something he's wanted to do. his opinion on itadori's improved... a little. even if dabi still has no trouble insulting him. he insults the other league members and he's known them for months now.]
Got me all figured out, huh. [that little analysis is pretty bang on. he'd been getting ready to strip in front of the phone their first conversation, after all.] But ya woulda done those things regardless, because it's more important to ya to make a friend, have people feel comfortable around ya, and protect them, than it is to find a fuck buddy. Ain't that right?
[while dabi's fine with making no connections, itadori's the kind to want a bond with others. without parents, it's not hard to see why. someone like that would want to make friends. true, he may not know much about the kid's straights, but he's insightful enough to understand some aspects about him, based on all they've talked about and what he's seen from him.]
Hm?
[okay, for a second that throws him for a loop. agreeing to kiss him and then abruptly standing up like he's getting ready to walk out the door? dabi glances up at him, not bothering to stand just yet. but then that ultimatum comes and a small huff leaves his half-charred lips. amused? annoyed? intrigued? hard to tell, but he presses one hand to the table and pushes himself up to his feet with an easy motion. despite the intimidating air dabi gives off, he's only 3cm taller than itadori.]
Hey now. Ya backin me into a corner here. [turquoise eyes fix on the topaz once more.]
Puttin it that way makes it seem like ya gonna assume I'm bein an asshole cause I'm nice. [he doesn't sound very bent about it and steps forward, moving into itadori's space until they're almost front to front.]
I could kiss ya right now, and you'd think I'm just tryin to manipulate ya into gettin what I want. [granted, he's not attacked itadori yet. only been evasive in the conversation and mocked him occasionally about his anxieties. would that count as "nice" to some people? probably not.
all that said, however... dabi does lean in, enough the heat off his lips is brushing over itadori's skin like a hand passing close to a candle. eyes still arrested on the kids, his voice rings sincere.] I ain't changin myself for you. But thanks for the food.
[ friends or not, there should be some level of shared respect if they're going to be vulnerable with each other. that's what it is, whether dabi wants to acknowledge it or not. it's hard not to be bare in a sense, not only physically, but emotionally as well. the villain can pretend he's this stoic prince all he wants, and while itadori lacks the experience, he knew emotions will be involved. it could either be good or bad, dissatisfaction or lust. a moment where you drop your guard, stop thinking, maybe go as far as being needy for the other. who knows? it just felt like he's about to witness a whole other side of dabi, and one that's foreign about himself.
itadori expected some opposition to his ultimatum, considering what he's asking for, but held his ground and kept his eyes on the other as he inched closer; attentive. it's only when he heard the word 'thanks'— the intensity behind his gaze eased. a sigh of relief followed, shoulders relaxing. ]
You're welcome.
[ a moment later, one of his hands slipped forward, fingers hooking into one of dabi's belt loops to draw him even closer, bodies pressed together. for someone who was on edge around him— it was somewhat intriguing to watch the other loosen up a little. it's about time. his other hand released the bag as it fell down to the ground in a loud thud; a nudge of his foot pushed it aside so it wouldn't get in their way. a deep breath; itadori is still a bit restless, but no longer crippled with fear. if he dares to admit ... he's actually excited? once his mind is resolved over the idea of having the freedom to do what he wants— this kind of control can be addicting.
he brought his hand up so he could smooth over a disfigured cheek, taking a moment to feel the coarse texture before lightly angling the other man's jaw up to him with a crook of his fingertips; admiring such unique features up close. his gaze shifts lower and on those lips, he then leans in without a hint of reluctance. the kiss is gentle, slow, and experimental. it was hard to avoid the cool touch of a piercing or two, but it didn't pester itadori at all.
the first kiss didn't linger. he breaks it off soon after, blinking at dabi as if he expected to be pushed away? no? okay since that's not the case, the next one had more spark into it; lips parted slightly. he tilts his head, enjoying the warmth spreading from dabi's body. if he thought that was a turnoff, it isn't. it was more welcoming.
but— just to be safe.]
... Keep it cool.
[ he muttered without breaking off the kiss, fingers working on stripping dabi off that jacket, allowing the heavy fabric to drop down to the floor. ]
[is that how he views it? respect comes before physical vulnerability? what a naive guy. you can hate the fucking guts out of someone and still have sex with them. for dabi, it's ironically more a matter of trust than of respect. whether that's trust in your partner not to kill you or yourself to catch any attempt on your life is up to the individual to decide. but for all his naivety, itadori's not wrong. there is a level of emotion that'll be involved and not even the flame-scarred villain's able to escape from that. he says he's not much on "feelings" anymore, but he's also still alive and thinking. what sort of thoughts would be invoked when itadori's sharing his bed? ... not a question he can answer here.
there's a politeness that comes from training, respect, obedience. and then there's a politeness that is knowledge only and soaked in sarcasm. dabi toes the line between them. refusing to become a nice guy, but at least showing some shred of the few still raw parts of his person enough to offer sincere gratitude. quick, here and there, obviously not something he wants to dwell on, but it's there.
for a moment, when itadori's shoulders relax and that quiet "you're welcome" comes through, a flicker of something... something... wanders across dabi's face. surprise? curiosity? maybe a tiny bit touched? a little rouse of humanity within him that feels a sliver of "better" with his thanks accepted.
but it's when one hand moves forward and there's a hook-and-tug in his beltloop that really seems to tell him this is happening. for a moment, the razor's edge of decision kept them both tense, unsure and cautious. now there's no going back. and that's fine with him.
dabi steps forward, one boot landing beside itadori's sneaker what's with you and deku and fucking red shoes as he goes past personal space and into physical contact. there's a press of body warmth far different than his own, and a much more solid figure than he'd have thought under those clothes. chest to chest, stomachs grazing, a husk of belt buckle on cloth, knees and legs touching, contact all at once. the "thud" beside him doesn't bother dabi in the slightest, attention and eyes more focused on itadori in front of him. he can almost feel his excitement. it's... kind of catching.
turquoise eyes drop to the kid's mouth, noting the scar on the side of his lip, the harsh slice between his eyes. battle scars. the fact there's no flinching from itadori as he couches his burned flesh silently gives him more points. dabi lets his head turn as fingers encourage him to lift and tilt, exposing the wrinkled, purple scorch covering the lower half of his head and neck. his composure remains as cool as ever, though there's a question brewing inside even as itadori lowers his hand and leans in.
no hesitation. dabi allows him to kiss him. three sensations immediately: the smooth of his upper lip, the gnarled surface of the lower, and the metal staple cool and unforgiving. conversely, dabi only really feels the warmth and softness of itadori's lips on his upper one. it's mostly just numb pressure on the lower, requiring something harder to reach the nerves under his damaged skin. but his lips feel nice... when's the last time he's been kissed gently? without fear, with interest beyond take and go.
the kiss breaks and dabi's breath carries from his lips to itadori's. he doesn't push him away, though does turn his hand lazily uncurls his fingers close enough to the kid's unused hand that their fingers brush together almost "accidentally" on purpose. a second kiss, a little firmer, and he feels it more. this time, dabi returns it, a light nudge of his head forward to give itadori something back.
all right... now he's interested.]
That was lame. ["keep it cool". so punny. but his voice lacks the bite from before and dabi lifts his shoulders as itadori pushes the coat off his upper body. heavy leather and metal cuffs sink onto the floor with a rush of material and two muffled 'thuds' as the clothing hits the deck. a threadbare white t-shirt hangs on his upper body and that's when dabi finally reaches a certain point.
for the first time, he's the one to catch itadori by the wrist and stop him, looking into his eyes with an unreadable expression. but the question on his lips holds weight from... a lot of thoughts.]
Ya really okay with this? Wastin ya "firsts" on this?
["this" meaning a scar-covered, sociopath villain who wouldn't push itadori out of the way of a bus if he saw it coming a mile away and doing it here in a dirty abandoned cabin in the middle of a small, old woods.]
[ it's those little things that seemed to speak the loudest. from the way dabi looked at him when he accepted his gratitude, to the brief brush of his fingers against his own a moment later. for some reason, they all felt more soft than sexual; reaching. an impression he didn't expect from the villain at all. one that made itadori be drawn to him more; subduing his dreads into a hushed lull. there's something more to that man, he is certain of it at this point.
however, this is their unfortunate fate, whenever the sorcerer got too close to comfort, dabi would push him away. this time it was more evident, leaving no room for speculations, or 'maybe I'm imagining it' — it's as real as those bruised fingers around his wrist.
startled, itadori is quick to raise his free hand up, taking a step back while muttering 'sorry!'. the initial thought is: he must've done something wrong, and whatever it was, dabi didn't appreciate it. mild panic takes over, staring and trying to read those subtle doubts behind an expression so unfamiliar to him. he parts his lips, close to asking what's wrong, only to be interjected by an odd question.
is he really okay with this? ... wasting his firsts?
he allows himself a second to breathe, let it sink in, and with a soft sigh— he shakes his head. he has no intention to lie to dabi, and he won't start right now. there's a hint of remorse in his tone, but it wasn't directed at the man before him. no pity either. no, it was more of itadori skipping a few steps and embracing vulnerability so early on. ]
Well ... I'm not okay we're doing it here? The place is kinda nasty, but- [ he shrugged with a lighthearted chuckle. ]- it's the best we can do? It's not like I can take you back to my room, or ask you to rent a nicer place? Your face is all over the news.
[ there's a pause, tentative perhaps, he then decided to lean forward, so he could brush the back of his fingers against dabi's cheek. the following confession might not be too easy to say, but— again, he is committed to be honest. itadori planned to repress it at first and wake up tomorrow feeling like shit. however, with this given opportunity- ]
I want you. It's not a waste of my 'firsts'. But I kinda hate myself for basically confessing that I'm using you right now, which I am. I feel shitty about it. Ah, I guess that's lowkey ruining my 'firsts' ...
[ he knows. he knows dabi is not into the 'good guy' bullshit, and he knows he will insist it's normal to share a bed with a stranger, to be used like that— sex is sex! it means nothing. he knows the mockery that will slip out of his mouth in any second now, but he asked and itadori answered. straightforward, without tiptoeing around it or offer sympathetic lies. it did feel wrong in the end. a part of him knew dabi will walk out of this with a smirk on his face, reassuring himself this kid wanted nothing more than a quick fuck, like everyone else. point proven. let's add itadori to the fucking list. even when that's the image in his head, even when he's feeling so terrible ... the sorcerer is still going for it.
it screams hypocrisy, doesn't it? ]
We don't ... have to do anything extreme. You stopped me for a reason, and I respect it. I'll never force you into something you're not into. But, umm ...
[ god, how can he say this? how can he explain himself? while contemplating, his fingers trace lower, along the curve of dabi's neck, down to his chest, so reverently that he seemed almost scared of risking a full-palmed touch; as if he's not allowed that privilege anymore. ]
... Can we do something else? Being intimate doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, right?
[ honestly, dabi is allowed to call him desperate now. he won't be mad, nor would he care. ]
[as much as he tries to ignore it and hide it, unfortunately for dabi, even his sociopathic aims and thoughts can't stop him from being human. under the charred black and enraged agony, he's raw. there's hesitation and caution, but this time it's aimed at someone else. not so much caring about itadori's feelings, as he would've agreed to have sex anyways, but perhaps it's a silent repayment for the guy giving a shit enough about a piece of crap like him to go out of his way and make a meal for him to eat in the safe comfort of someone who isn't looking to lock him up or change him.
a chance to walk away and save himself. dabi has no doubts about what he is, who he is, and yes, he does see itadori as a curious virgin with a somewhat-desperate interest in getting it on with someone new and exciting, and even a little dangerous, as some sort of escape from whatever shackles him from exploring sexually in his own life. for that reason as well, he wants the kid to understand exactly what he's getting into. to sacrifice his firsts with him... it's about itadori's comfort.
and he can't think clearly if he's touching him, hence the catch at his wrist and a momentary break in their connection. look at him, look at the mess he is, and make sure, really make sure, he wants to go forward with this. dabi's taunted him, tempted him, played him, and drawn him, yet after all of that, he wants to give him one last out. even as itadori steps backwards, the villain refuses to let his arm go, preventing him from pulling away or tugging free. the connection is still there, apology ignored because he did nothing wrong.
waiting for a few seconds as he watches itadori try to think about it himself. before getting the answer he could've guessed already. dabi's grip on his wrist slowly laxes. didn't think so. sex means something for itadori. it's not some throwaway action two people can drop into, engage in, and walk away from without thinking a shit about it. it's important to the kid. on the one hand, corrupting him like that would've been fun. on the other...
wait... here? dabi blinks once, a flicker of surprise and wry confusion crossing his face. it's the location that's bugging itadori?]
Ya serious? [kind of all he can ask at the moment. he'd been gearing up to let him go and put an end to the entire venture. apparently that's not going to happen immediately?] Che... what, ya wanna break into a department store and fuck on the display bed? [a beat before he muses another option.] Could always find a motel... they don't give a fuck.
[what a cliche, but it'd be better than a cabin in the woods. dabi's broken from his thoughts when a hand wanders across his cheek again. the confession that follows, however, hits in that somewhat bruised area where itadori's been punching so often tonight. saying he actually likes him enough to stubbornly continue to profess wanting him. dabi's eyes narrow a little when he says it's not a "waste" to be with him, though it's more out of consideration than deflection.]
Idiot. Ya shouldn't feel like shit about this. [dabi should, the sleaze, except he doesn't. as a hand slides down his chest, fingers tentatively checking to see if it's okay to touch, he's left thinking about this guy and what he's trying to do here. sex is sex, yeah. his mind goes exactly where itadori's suspecting it'd go.] If ya wanna save this for someone or somethin more "romantic" that ya care about, then ya really are an idiot for wantin to do it with me.
[he doesn't sound disappointed or angry. maybe lance of sarcasm through his voice in a way that suggests the underlying "told ya so" sentiment. yet itadori's not lying to him; he's behind honest and vulnerable and slight as it is, dabi's acknowledging that. protect me from what i want is an adage that could apply here. ironic that the villain would be the one to hypocritically consider 'protecting' this naive hero from his own confused, horny self.
truth be told, it'd be so much easier if itadori wanted nothing more than a quick fuck. and they wouldn't have stopped if dabi figured that's all the young sorcerer wanted. what moved his hand is the understanding that itadori did want something more than a quick fuck. this guy treated the villain like a human. so consider this a way to treat him like a human---and not a piece of meat---in return.]
Ya ain't forcin anythin on me. [his eyes still hang on itadori's, refusing to break the tether between them.] I stopped ya cause I ain't someone ya should be regrettin your choice over.
[his chest is as warm (hot) as the rest of him, though whereas itadori has the athletic muscle of someone who regularly works out with healthy food and supplements, dabi's defined pectorals and torso hold tight to his bones, developed from years surviving on the streets. a rope versus a wire. he can almost feel the desperation itadori's exuding, wanting badly to avoid leaving despite his misgivings and disappointments. for a few more seconds, dabi regards him, balancing between two options.
then breaks it with a sigh.]
How long ya got? Cause if ya really determined and this shithole bothers ya, I know a motel near here.
[ 'good guy' syndrome aside, itadori isn't conscious of the significance of the first sexual experience. movie society urged him to believe it was important, some nonsense about it being memorable and all— but is it really? it seemed a bit of an exaggeration, even when the idea of sharing this moment with a loved one is more appealing, it isn't so awful to try it out with a stranger either. it's less pressure. you know? in case he fucks up? it would be more embarrassing if it's with someone he's keen on impressing.
he raised an eyebrow, tipping his head to the side. ]
But you're helping me get better at it! My future partner will appreciate it more. Think of it as practical sex education!
[ what a lovely way of reminding dabi, once more, he's being used. he then scoffed, an easy smile paints his lips again. in all honesty, he understood why dabi is offering him one last chance to run out of the door, and in the privacy of his own mind, he has to admit it's ... sweet, in its own way. a psychotic murderer who hasn't forgotten to be human once in a while. it meant something to itadori, and he did consider what he's saying, subtly agreeing that he had a point. then again, time is not on his side. it's foolish to be holding out for a magical moment that might never come, with death knocking on his door whenever he steps out, unsure if he will make it back to the safety of his bedroom— can he really afford delaying it?
dabi didn't need to hear that, and he didn't want to bring up an issue so disheartening. instead, he will focus on the man before him; what an intriguing distraction he can be. since he made sure dabi isn't uncomfortable with his approach, itadori reckoned he's allowed to close the gap between them by taking another step; the pressure of his hands drew dabi's body up against his, the heat of his breath curled along the other man's ear as he whispered. ]
... We good? Anything else?
[ — not that he'd let the villain say another word, already kissing him again. still committed on keeping it slow, yet not as tender this time. almost as if he wanted to bury any other doubts they might have, unwilling to be pushed away anymore. there is a limit to the teasing itadori can handle in one night, and they have reassured each other enough. however, he didn't forget about the offer to change scenery, and while a motel is not the image of a clean environment, it is still better than this! he considers it, humming softly against dabi's lips.
soon after, he breaks it off- ]
Okay! Lead the way!
[ who is he to deny such a kind gesture? let's add it as a perk in this new adventure. it's hard to mask how exciting this is, and itadori didn't even bother to do so. ]
You sure you'll be safe? If it's a risk, it's not worth it. I don't mind a little dust. Might sneeze on you by accident, but that's not a big deal.
[maybe. there's a bit of thoughtful deliberation in those two words. a few moments ago, he would've answered that with a firm affirmative, but itadori's naivety in sexual experiences and his strange but honest interest in dabi are shaping the opportunity into something the guy might not really regret later on in life. all of that's laid out plainly when the kid starts talking about it being a learning experience and dabi actually breaks a wry grin up towards one scarred corner of his mouth. seriously, when he puts it that way, it's like he's doing the guy a favor by helping him practice.]
Hn. That's one way to look at it. [what a fucking ball of optimism. why is this sunshine down here in the ugly muck with the rest of filth?] All right. Guess it won't kill me to help ya practice.
[dabi's used to being used, as he's made obvious before. but at the same time, he's at a position in his life now where he doesn't do anything he doesn't really want to do. the fact he's stayed this long in the cabin and continues to carry on the conversation, entertain the idea, suggests he's not adverse to doing this either. he'd be far more pissed if itadori betrays him to the cops than has sex with him. the former would erode any sense of cautious interest between them; the latter ironically makes it easier for dabi to agree to another meeting.
don't call him "sweet", dammit.
as if the villain would consider the reality of risking death at every step out the door something disheartening; it's a fucking fact of life. he's not so positive to think he'll be guaranteed tomorrow, and he has no delusions over the two ends to his life in his future. still, itadori's proving to be an interesting distraction in his own right and dabi's finding himself... curious about him. what really's driving this kid to reach for him so much.
it's one of the reasons he answers to the physical draw as itadori steps up against him. pressing their bodies together, hands drawing him close, and a low hum drifting past his lips when the other guy's breath ghosts past his ear. the trio of silver hoops reflect itadori's mouth and dabi flicks his eyes to the side, more hearing his breath rather than feeling it on his charred flesh.]
We-- mph.
[so much for answering him. lips press to his own and this time, the villain returns it with a more interested firmness. he answers to his speed, not forcing anything hard against his mouth but rather attempting to mirror the pressure itadori's pressing to his lips. any other protests or deflects go up in flames and the ashes blow away. they're doing this.
dabi traces his tongue over his lips when itadori breaks the kiss and he uncurls his fingers again, flicking his nails across the guy's fingertips. figures he'd accept that offer to change scenery. the excitement over there is amusing. like a little kid ready to go on an adventure.]
Don't start worryin bout my safety. Ya won't sleep well if ya do.
[the words are less biting than normal, more teasing caution than anything else. worrying about dabi's safety when he's out here fighting heroes wanting to imprison him is just asking for sleepless nights in itadori's bed. not the kind of effort he feels the guy should waste on him.
leaving itadori to scoop up his bag, dabi heads out of the cabin, not even bothering to shut the door behind him. for obvious reasons, he doesn't opt to talk and keeps his silence even if itadori wants to chat. skulking through the shadows and keeping to the darker parts of the park gets them across the area and to the surrounding streets. from there, it's only a few alleys to cut through before they end up a few blocks away from the park. a motel sits nestled amid some old woods, ass shoved up against the old fence.
still, the woman at the counter doesn't even bat an eye when dabi and itadori walk in. she merely takes the cash the villain palms onto the countertop and slides the key across to him. with that, they're left to their own devices, no question for name or anything else. dabi leads the younger man across the faded maroon carpet, ignoring the dingy wallpaper as they finally stop in front of a door at the end of the building. key in the door, it swings open, and a simple room greets them.
one medium-sized bed, a small couch, two chairs and a little table, ac unit under the curtained window, and two lamps in the corners of the room on the diagonal. a single-sink bathroom sports a shower the size of a telephone booth, but it's still usable if two people don't mind squeezing together. despite the age and simplicity, the room's been cleaned and taken care of.]
How boucha not sneeze in my face? [dabi tosses the key to the table and faces itadori.] Welcome to sex ed.
[ imprisoning dabi might not be the big threat here— it's more of getting killed on the spot. then again, itadori didn't plan to stress about it, since that man is fixed with his resolve, unshaken with the grim consequences of going against his own family. itadori's words won't reach him, he knew. however, it felt a bit powerless to watch someone sabotaging themselves the way dabi is, unable to help. there's no happy ending to his story, and they both might agree to that, at least.
the walk had little to no exchange of words from either side; itadori would often glance at random directions, seemingly eyeing 'something' that is nonexistent. wherever dabi is leading him had all the classic signs of low inhabitants. it's that shady part of the city, one where you can spot a low-grade curse lurking around, not really harming anyone but hints to the type of energy this area allures. it didn't kill his anticipation, watchful as the lady behind the counter paid no attention to what stood in front of her: a) a well-known wanted criminal, and b) a teenager. all signs point to 'what the fuck?' and yet the exchange ended with no concerns, and they find each other in their new, private room. ]
... We could've had our dinner here.
[ instead of that shitty cabin. no, it's never too late to be offended that a motel was an option from the beginning. he threw the empty bag on the couch, turning on his feet so he could regard the other; under a proper light, dabi looked a bit different. everything is a lot more clear now, down to those small details in his unique features. he takes in a breath, fingers flexing on each side before he reached over to hold dabi's wrist; tugging him forward. ]
I am expecting you to give me some guidance, you know.
[ is he going to start treating this like an actual class? hell yes.
he then slipped his hands down along the other's waist, hands complying to the contours of dabi's body beneath his shirt, while the thin fabric rucked up around itadori's wrists, exposing more of the uneven patch of healthy/burned skin. there is no sense of urgency in his approach; in a way that reflects raw curiosity to being able to touch someone without any reserves. his gaze follows his own hands, attentive as he strips him off that shirt, getting rid of it. when he noticed the belt, he couldn't help but to huff-
way too many things to undress.
he disregards it, for now, settling on grabbing the other by the hips, supporting his body and weight for the few steps it took to the bed. he didn't stop, not until dabi's back was pressed flush against the mattress, and he could cant his hips for a bit of friction where their bodies met. that alone made his cheeks burn up a bit, and now he felt it's appropriate to ask. ]
Are you sure about the whole ... letting me top on my first time?
[ isn't he supposed to focus on repressing a certain something? ]
[in a way, that's the "best" possible outcome according to the heroes. imprisoning him would prevent him from killing more, could arguably save his life, and protect endeavor and his family from dabi's wrath. but then again, isn't that what the heroes always did? throw the problem behind metal and glass, then lose the key forever so they no longer have to see it or acknowledge it. it's amusing itadori wants to help, but as dabi told that little deku hero, this is family business. aka: piss off.
still, the fact itadori wants to stick with him, even for sex and meals, without trying to capture him or talk him into changing his mind, gives the other boy some advantage. he's a stranger and dabi doesn't much trust him, but he's certainly not acting like other heroes or villains he's encountered. he's never had a "neutral ground" person in his life of villainy before. it's... odd. already he knows itadori's not going to be a one-night stand, never to be heard from again; the kid's too stubborn and kind.
and weird. dabi doesn't miss noticing the way itadori's attention seems to wander. it's not the gaze of someone sightseeing. this guy's looking for something. keeping watch. not in the way that's looking to give a cue to someone in the wing either. it has to be connected to that mysterious "thing" itadori does for a living. admittedly, dabi's curious about it, especially since the kid's been tight-lipped on the topic. someday, he's gonna find out.]
Ya didn't think I'd trust ya that fast, didja?
[the cabin and the woods, as itadori correctly surmised, gave dabi the advantage in case of a fight or ambush. goes without saying he wasn't about to surrender that during a first-time meeting. as itadori looks at him, the villain is less guarded about taking in the other young man. those marks under his eyes, the double tone of his under-cropped hair, angle of his jaw, an attractive face even with the two scars. while the walls of his fortress haven't come down, dabi's at least come to the rampart to look over their proverbial edges. he steps forward when pulled by the wrist, moving back into itadori's space.]
On the right path.
[he has no real problem giving some instructions about sex. dabi lifts his arms a little, giving itadori more access to his waist. trim and athletic, but still owing most of that to rough living. not much of a pillow queen (when he doesn't feel like it), he settles for wandering one hand over itadori's shoulder, bunching at his jacket and getting a feel for his sculpture beneath. it's not surprising the kid's solid under his clothes. once again dabi's coat hits the floor in a crumple of leather and metal, soon after followed by the threadbare shirt and itadori's jacket.
even though he bared his upper half for his video and already made to strip it off in front of itadori during their first phone call, it's still the first time the kid gets to see everything up close and personal, for his eyes and his fingers. dabi fails to get to the kid's shirt before he's caught at the hips and pulled in. a strange sort of dragging waltz backwards through the room before the world tilts and he's pushed onto the bed, knees catching the edge of the mattress and his back landing on the cover with a lazy bounce. hips press to hips and dabi arches up into it with a low exhale, one bare arm winding around itadori's neck to pull him down close to him. fingers curl at the side of his neck, grazing the blunt edges of his nails at his throat and jaw as his thumb played over the flush on his cheek and the little mark under his eye.]
Yeah. It's easier for first timer's to top. Helps them feel like they're more in control.
[plus a lot of guys hear "take it up the ass" and instantly cringe over the pain before wavering on their confidence. besides, it's hard to learn something when you don't feel like you're in control. as for suppressing something... well... dabi hasn't burned himself up during an orgasm yet. and if itadori's concerned about suppressing his own "endanger my partners" thing during sex, dabi's not lost the ability to spontaneously combust beneath him.]
Ya wanna keep up the foreplay or jump right into it?
[dabi drags his hand down itadori's back, raking between his shoulder blades and then slowly fisting his hand in the middle of his back to bunch his shirt up one inch at a time from his waist.]
[ he does get a more intimate view of what he's dealing with, up close, and it took him back to their first conversation, when dabi expressed how he is in constant pain from his injuries. he can see it now; quite vividly. regardless, he's not going to start treating that man as if he's brittle. if he's here, compliant, there's no doubt he can endure it.
it's strange, considering how they are more comfortable with each other for a while now, but this comes off as the first time dabi actually— touched him? as gentle as it was, from the weight of that arm against his neck, the graze of fingertips over his throat and cheekbone; being pulled close. it's the type of intimacy itadori craved for. simply sharing space, indulging in a conversation, guard dropped. with a soft sigh, he allows himself to be subdued by it, unaware of the way dabi's thumb brushed over the 'tattoo' under each eye. a few things the villain might pick up on: the skin is abnormal, in a sense it had a distinctive texture, more delicate(?), and there is a very faint movement under his touch. alas, it's nothing that would unnerve someone coming from a society full of different quirks. itadori had seen people with colorful skin tones, multiple arms and legs, horns on their heads and all kinds of flavors of diversity, shapes and sizes. this minor detail is not so striking, is it? ]
Ah, well ... that does help. Being in control.
[ no complaining here. he hates to do it, to pull away from the warmth of dabi's body against his own, but he picks up on the little gesture and attends to get rid of his shirt. the contrast in their built spoke in volumes about the way their powers/quirks are used, clashing with dabi's, it's clear itadori is more of a close-range type. there are some bruises over his chest and abdomen, here and there, some seemed a few days old, healing, while others hint on as early as this morning. ]
I'm not sure if it's considered foreplay ... but- ...
[ despite his words, his expression turns rather demure; voice softens with a sly smirk of his own. "Don't rush", he told himself, inside the confines of his own mind— though he wanted desperately to do nothing else. his fingers brush along the curve of dabi's waist, perceptive in its nature, then finally works on unhooking his belt. itadori takes a moment to relish the view as two forefingers hooked through the hem of those pants/briefs, tugging the waistband lower, somewhat urging dabi to lift his hips before he dragged it all the way to his ankles. his hand then, gently, brush over the smooth skin of his inner thighs, spreading his legs apart ...
he wants this man to feel good, desired— this can't be a one-sided affair. or, maybe itadori is doing this for himself. in an odd way, this is the first thing he fantasized on doing the second dabi teased the thought of them fucking around, the image on the screen when the villain teased on stripping on the spot never left his mind for days. his eyes dared to catch dabi's, and that alone stirs something from within that is so unfamiliar. an uncomfortable warmth that is less innocent and more fervent.
it was why he parted his lips around the other man's cock, relaxing his throat so that he leaned in, the tight ring of his lips sliding slowly down the girth of dabi's prick. careful yet not timid, lashes low against his flustered cheekbones, and he muffles a moan against the hot flesh in his mouth. ]
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no subject
Date: 8/25/21 19:48 (UTC)a villain, a murderer, a danger to society ... oh, so many reasons for itadori to be anything but tame. dabi is right about questioning it because it didn't make any sense. being touch-starved is not a leading motive, only a mere perk to whatever the fuck is inciting itadori to be here. between all the gibberish chatter in his mind, one word is clear enough to be used as a justification: curiosity.
he pats the dust off his fingers, getting rid of it before he pushed himself off the sofa. a few easy steps brought him closer, and he settles down next to the other. it was hard to bite back to smug pride for getting what he wants— the smile is less innocent and more cocky at this point. it didn't linger, because that question is worth an honest answer. ]
It is important that you realize I'm not here to hurt you. You're too stiff, and if I return that energy, this will be a terrible experience for both of us. One of us needs to relax ... until the other does so too.
[ he nods, confident about the way he interpreted himself. he then turned his attention to what remains of the meal, leaned forward with his arms folded on the table; content with allowing dabi to eat as much as he wants. he'll just grab a burger on the way home. ]
So ... I watched your broadcast earlier.
[ you know what? fuck it. even if he couldn't process his own thoughts, the topic itself is difficult to dismiss. at least itadori recognized they're not meeting up to chat about mundane themes as if they're old friends. there is something itadori wants from him, and he intends to elaborate. he hums, squinting his eyes while idly rubbing the back of his head, ruffling his hair. ]
But ... I'll be honest. It's hard for me to figure out how I feel about it. There are some parts that made me understand your frustration, but not your actions, and other parts ... such as a hero killing a villain ... that part made me think-
[ that's where the broadcast got somewhat personal. he doesn't expect dabi to answer any of the questions that haunted his mind at the time, the ones that made him a bit provoked, but- ]
When is it okay to kill someone? How can we judge someone's death is for the 'greater good'? Or, when they are worth saving?
no subject
Date: 8/25/21 22:24 (UTC)poison, ambush, fight, none of those things are sitting on the couch across from him. well, excluding whatever this "dangerous to others" ability the kid's hiding. dabi still has no doubts about their clashing worldviews and opinions. itadori's a hero and dabi's a villain. one seeks to protect, the other to destroy. and yet, he's come here with food for him. has to be some merit to that, right? even if it makes no sense.
not expecting his offer to be dismissed, he merely glances to the side when the other guy settles down beside him, making sure to keep some distance between them because he's not about to get chummy with him. dabi returns to the soba, leaving itadori to smile for nothing until he opts to answer the question.]
Uh-huh. [slurp slurp] Had too many betrayals to think otherwise.
[the idea of relaxing around a stranger is basically asking to get a shiv between the ribs or otherwise jumped and back stabbed. despite his lazy and tired appearance, dabi's pretty alert, attentive, and tense. or perhaps his appearance is because of always being on edge. burns aside.
in the end, however, he does slide the container to the side, leaving portion of the soba noodles and sauce for the other guy. dabi silently relocates the container of tofu to the table beside itadori's elbow, then picks a piece with his chopsticks. probably not smart to gorge himself on this kind of delicacy.]
Answer all ya questions?
[he figured he did. itadori might come off as stupid and naive, but dabi isn't sure he's a complete idiot. the movie explained a lot. who dabi was, his background of child abuse under endeavor's hands and the domestic abuse the rest of his family went through from the same man, his father's ambitions and who/what he sacrificed for those, as well as hawks' history and murder. the lies of the heroes and results of their deception and arrogance. throwing the society into a distrusting chaos.]
Thought I made the reasons for my actions pretty fuckin clear.
[exposure, uprooting the false heroes and hollow society to make way for the worthwhile one where there was actual freedom and truth instead of being shackled by lies and abuse. though in dabi's personal case: sadistic revenge.]
You're the hero. You should have answers for those. I don't give a shit bout killin someone.
no subject
Date: 8/26/21 19:18 (UTC)[ there's a gloomy sigh, and an equally weary expression of pure disappointment in itadori's face when he uttered those words. no, he didn't expect dabi to fulfill those questions for him, considering how he knew nothing about his situation, but for someone who's actively condemning the hero society— he kinda expected some kind of preaching on how they should do their job. then again, dabi probably has no interest in 'fixing' anything, and would rather focus on his own revenge. while bringing everyone down with him.
his father should be held accountable for his part, itadori will never oppose that. killing innocent people, who had nothing to do with dabi's past, is— incredibly irrational and selfish. regardless, to avoid repeating himself, itadori spared him the righteous lecture. dabi knew how he felt about his actions; he knew where the boy stood. if he had to pick a side, it won't be the villains.
half-sulking, he picks another piece of tofu, and with some crafty work— he'd swirl the noodles and a piece of beef into one ball, dipping it in the sauce before he pops it in his mouth. just like that! a subtle way to teach dabi the joys of fusing flavors, or his odd way of feasting. and perhaps an exhibit of his poor manners because he's talking while savoring the bite- ]
I'm sorry about what happened to you as a kid. I won't get into your family affairs, but I simply wanted to let you know I've seen the broadcast. I felt like I was sneaking around earlier. Even when you made it public ...
[ while it is a sensitive topic, it felt cruel not to express his remorse for past events. no child should go through this. dabi didn't deserve any of it. as much as itadori wished he could say it out loud, he had a feeling it will only make dabi be more uncomfortable around him. he held it back, instead conversing about something more lighthearted. ]
I bet it's hard for you to walk into a grocery store, so if you need anything ... use me? I'm a friendly face.
[ yes, he is helping a criminal, but— he's just getting him some food. a guy gotta eat! ]
no subject
Date: 8/26/21 22:20 (UTC)[dabi wasn't raised with those kinds of notions. burn harder, move faster, get stronger, whatever stands in your way is nothing to you. overcome. surpass. all that matters is being greater than *fill in the blank*. endeavor shoved his ambition down his throat and spread it through his mind until that's all he could think about. destined for greatness. deserving of the attention of his father to make those dreams come true. there was no room for, or even the experience of, softer things like valuing life or the bonds between family members. endeavor ripped out his son's brakes and then abandoned the car.
as for how heroes should do their jobs... psh. simple answer is "don't". there are no true heroes. no hero came to help him, or the rest of his family. they stood by and did nothing. let it all happen. too concerned with their own fame and glittering ranking system to give a shit about the people who needed their help. no, dabi had no interest in "fixing" anything because he didn't care about anything. only what would destroy endeavor even more. which included killing people with endeavor's own flames.
it's just a happy coincidence that he can make use of the league and the plf to forward his own agenda. hell, half the reason he wanted to toss itadori's offer out the proverbial window is because he already knows the guy won't be of any real use to him.
still, since the kid's not giving him any lectures on how he's wrong, dabi's not giving itadori tirades on the corrupt wretchedness of the heroes. it'd ruin the food.
turquoise eyes wander to the side, silently studying how the sorcerer combines the noodles around the tofu and beef piece and coats it in sauce. his chopsticks pause in his mouth during the whole process. tsk... takes a second or so, but he reaches for a piece of tofu and then tries to mimic what itadori just did. it doesn't work as well and he's left scowling at the messy grip of tofu and beef with a noodle dangling from it. not like dabi's one to talk about manners and keeping shut up with one's mouth full.]
So you watched it.
[he opts for the tofu piece, giving up on attempts at combining them. not as skilled as itadori. what really was there to say? the kid saw his past and what happened. but he knows already it won't change the guy's heroic mindset. even if he says he won't get involved, itadori's the kind of person who would jump in between dabi and endeavor and yell at them to stop fighting. just like that stupid deku kid. he cares too much.]
Now ya know everythin.
[picking up the piece of meat, he stuck it in his mouth, only to pause at that hare-brained offer floating out beside him. dabi looks at him, eyes slightly wide from surprise. then narrow a little in suspicion and maybe a tiny trace if wry amusement. use me, he says. the villain slowly draws his chopsticks out and munches on the food a few times before swallowing.]
I got other means of groceries. [especially with the league now running the plf. or what's left of it under all for one. still...] Why don't we keep doin this?
[groceries, dabi can get without a problem. a home cooked meal? not so much.]
Ya made me food.
no subject
Date: 8/27/21 21:35 (UTC)[ even when his upbringing had a huge influence in shaping him into the man he is today, itadori would like to believe there is more to dabi than pure revenge. he's not a tool, he's a human. there must be days where he just wanted to be himself, unwind, maybe entertain a secret hobby or think about an old friend. maybe think about how his life could've been if his father wasn't blinded with his unrealistic demands. you don't lose your humanity so easy.
it brings itadori back to their phone conversation. 'no one is born evil' — was it? he dwells on it as his eyes follow the way dabi attempted to mimic his craft, only to give up way too soon. in that specific scene, reading into the villain's stoic features, he can't see evil right now. all he can see is someone who got hurt, abandoned, mistreated and someone who loved his father so deeply. itadori has an intimate affair with 'evil'. if he puts dabi and sukuna side by side, they don't look alike. the contrast is: dabi can have a change of heart, while sukuna is incapable of it. why? one is human and one is not.
he takes in a subtle breath, nodding his head and sobering up; back to reality. ]
Okay! I can do that. I'll probably be gone for a bit, but I'll be back next week. Tell me what you wish for me to prepare. Oh, and I'll make sure to bring some drinks next time!
[ he breaks their eye contact, idly examining the kitchen- ... or what he could see from where they're sitting, which isn't much. he ends up unconsciously ruining dabi's personal space by leaning to his side. okay, that stove didn't look like it can function at all. ]
I don't think I could use this kitchen. I kinda wanted to. It would be nice to be able to serve it on the spot, fresh and warm ...
[ in case he wished to have something other than cold soba. speaking of which, he noticed there isn't much left of the food, just enough for itadori to pull his little trick again— but this time, he holds it up for dabi to enjoy. the gesture is clear; he fully expects him to open his mouth and accept it. it's happening. ]
Trust me. You'll love it.
no subject
Date: 8/27/21 22:17 (UTC)[but oh how much in the wrong direction that goes. he's "more" only in the sense he's experienced things his father would never want him to experience, he's grown stronger than his father (just like endeavor always wanted), he's learned skills dad never would've taught him. and all of it's spiraled right back around into this wreck that applies everything he was and is into the revenge he seeks. all of this in order to destroy the man who killed him. the rest is all burned black.
he's sicced a villain on his own brother and sorely regrets natsuo surviving because what a face it would've put on endeavor if he'd died. he's tried to murder shouto right in front of endeavor. he's killed innocent people simply because he could. there's nothing "human" about that. just want to be himself? hah, that's a joke. there's no one in here. he could only be what endeavor wanted him to be. never had a chance to learn who "touya" was. it's why "dabi" emerged from that burning mountain. touya was too weak to be anyone out from under endeavor's thumb.
might argue the 'born evil' part for a few scant examples, but for the most part, he agrees with it. it's a person's upbringing and their circumstances that affect their choices. touya never grew up thinking he'd be dabi. it was only after that night, alone, hurting, despairing, confused, and abandoned, that everything finally snapped completely. or maybe he snapped earlier, when that little shit shouto, the perfect puppet, was born and he lost everything...
true, he's not an evil spirit, not a being composed of nothing but malicious intent. but a change of heart's no longer possible. he's going to ruin his father and murder him even if it kills him. end of story. something he doubts itadori can even get his head around because of his own upbringing. they think too separately.]
I'm not makin a schedule of this. [there's a difference between making something regular and setting things in stone. with as cautious as dabi is, it should be obvious he wouldn't want someone knowing where he's going to be for any period of time in advance. itadori only got less than 24 hours warning and even that was to a vague location.] I'll call you when I want to meet.
Can ya make this again? [dabi glances at the containers.] Enough for two if ya want to share.
[when itadori leans into him to... look at something, dabi doesn't respond to it. save for rolling his eyes a little and picking up a piece of tofu. but it'll be impossible for itadori not to feel the temperature rise close to his chest and shoulder when he brings himself into dabi's space. the villain runs hot, like there's a fire inside him that won't go out.]
Won't be meeting here. I'll find another place. [something tells him this guy has no idea what keeping a low profile and working covert missions actually entails.] Bring a burner if ya want.
[ignoring the fact dabi's his own burner. he's not letting itadori or anyone use him like that, dammit. might heat up a bath for himself or a pot of water to do some ramen, but fuck acting like people's personal fire--
food.
dabi pauses, one brow furrowing in suspicion and faint annoyance when he finds a hovering spiral of noodle, beef, and tofu floating in front of his face. he glances behind it at that smile and those eyes, understanding full well itadori expects him to open up... tch, this fucking kid...
...
...
tsk, he leans in and opens his mouth, letting him do what he wants. he'll eat it anyways.]
no subject
Date: 8/28/21 21:25 (UTC)dabi wouldn't have to wait for long, and with a careful touch— he brought the piece closer and inside his mouth, holding still until the other takes the bite, pulling the chopsticks away a second later. a small droplet of the sauce lands on the corner of dabi's mouth, and out of habit, itadori used the tip of his thumb to wipe it clean. it's one of those instants when you act before you think, except in itadori's case— the realization never reached his mind. he genuinely didn't think it was a big deal.
his attention falls on the empty containers now, leaning forward to collect the lids, sealing them shut one by one as he speaks. ]
Ah, okay. Cold soba again, got it. I might try another side dish. If you have a specific request, let me know. Otherwise, I'll choose.
[ the 'bring your own burner' remark is odd, and itadori was so close to point out his fire quirk could be used in something other than burning his victims, but (luckily) he refrained from commenting. it's not illogical to predict dabi is not into that kinda thing. he might find it offensive ... ? somehow.
more importantly, itadori had a very inconstant schedule himself. jujutsu high didn't offer the luxury of a 24-hour cautionary, often ending up being called onto the scene and hearing about what they're dealing with on the way over. he might end up canceling on the villain more than he wishes for, and he's unsure if he should elaborate on his circumstances in advance— or just hope he can pull it off whenever dabi hits him up. okay, there is no point in stressing about this. itadori will deal with it in time.
with everything tucked neatly inside the lunch bag, itadori is free to face the other now, fingers idly drumming on the edge of the table. his gaze drops to the small gap between them, slowly tracing upward until he caught those eyes again. their body language spoke a thousand words; with itadori being more unguarded, and the villain heavy with doubts. while others might feel disheartened by it, itadori is anything but that. ]
Maybe next time you'll relax more ...
[ a lighthearted comment. no pressure, no sense of urgency. dabi is allowed to move at his own pace. ]
Do you want anything else from me?
no subject
Date: 8/28/21 22:03 (UTC)don't call him 'endearing,' ya sap...he frowns a little at the sudden swipe of a thumb on the edge of his mouth, itadori getting to it before his tongue can. he'll... let him get away with it this time. it's probably a strange feeling on the kid's thumb anyways. the corner of his mouth is where three textures meet: smooth skin of his upper lip, hard metal of a staple, and tough wrinkle of the burn scar. dabi turns his head away and focuses on chewing the piece so he wouldn't have to think about the touch. itador's free to do whatever he wants in the meantime.
each container snapping shut sounds a little too loud in the quiet area, a reminder the time is over and the meal is done. well, meal yes. he's pretty sure he can easily get itadori to stay simply by doing whatever outside of attacking him or leaving. hell, the former might get him to stay for some crazy reason. protection or defense or that whole trying to reach out to him weirdness.]
No fish, no plain rice.
[anything else asides from that, he'll eat. while he'd focus more on survival than being picky, the those two in particular make him want to throw up. so there's no point in even trying to force them down his throat. there are some... bad memories associated with the taste and smell.
luckily for itadori, dabi won't take any break off of any potential set meeting as an insult. he's aware the guy has his own things going on (some day he's going to find out what) and since he refuses to give itadori more than a few hours of direct heads up, he can't expect him to be ready to go every time. it'll be hit or miss and neither of them will be tied down to the other. just the way dabi prefers it: no strings attached. besides, spontaneous meetings mean there's little way itadori can prepare anything too complex. dabi doesn't want him wasting a lot of effort on him.
attention's turned on him once again and dabi eyes him form the corner of his gaze. he's still wary, never lost the doubts about itadori's intentions. but they're sitting together, here, close, so apparently some of those guarded notions have abated or at least been lowered. the idea of relaxing around him is somewhat laughable... but also something a small flicker in his mind kind of wants to experience. he's comfortable enough around the league to actually sleep with them in the same or nearby rooms, and that says something.
but between them?]
Think ya made your intentions clear. [however, it's dabi who leans forward slightly this time, enough that faint ghost of warmth from a hot body brushes at the edge of itadori's skin. turquoise eyes meet amber, holding them without hesitation.] What do ya want from me?
no subject
Date: 8/29/21 19:44 (UTC)with one hand holding into the band of his lunch bag, with the plan of freeing dabi from the chains of keeping his guard up around him, itadori froze just in time to hear that question. the focus on 'me' is hard to dismiss, along with the way that man got close enough to, finally, notice the inhuman warmth coming off of that body. it made him wonder if he should be threatened but chose to believe it wasn't deliberate.
back to the question— itadori always seemed to have some kind of edge in the way he regards others, eyes naturally intense. this time it was different. it's an odd thought, but he was more at ease with taking the lead this entire night. for him to approach dabi first, for him to be the one to demand acceptance, for him to reach for a touch— now it felt dabi is taking it away from him. being caught off guard a bit.
interesting. itadori never thought he would care about that. ]
I guess I wish to start ... questioning if an authority figure is always right.
[ it started with 'I don't know why I'm seeking him', but the more he indulged in a conversation with that man, it made itadori define why he found him so unique. well, perhaps dabi is not that special. every villain probably had a similar mindset, along with the rebels and those who are unmindful of the rules. not that itadori is seeking that extreme, he is still committed to doing what is expected of him. he'd save as many people he can. his loyalty will forever be to those he cares about. but-
why must he accept the fate they imposed on him? why is he deemed unworthy of saving? why isn't there an open discussion to find alternative solutions that didn't result in him being executed? he is a good person. he is doing his best.
is he allowed to ask to live?
he searched the other man's eyes, still frozen, and then slowly let go of the bag; hands dropping on each knee. ]
Also, you're an appealing distraction. It feels kinda dirty, but I've been honest in our phone call. No one talks to strangers unless they seek some sort of escape.
[ a pause, he then frowns and shifts his gaze to the side; embarrassed with wording it this way. ]
I want to be your friend. I like you, but ... how long can we keep the peace? We'll clash at some point, right?
no subject
Date: 8/29/21 21:53 (UTC)the heat of his body isn't deliberate; that's simply how his temperature runs due to his quirk. but if itadori wants to take it as a threat, dabi's not about to try and change his mind. he's never pretended to be anything but dangerous and guarded. itadori's been the one to instigate everything, from the conversation to the offer to reach out to the food prep to even sitting beside him. it's probably the first time dabi's voluntarily responded to that lead with an actual request with himself as the offering party.
take a bit of that initiative back for himself, rather than sitting here as the reactor. the answer he gets, however, earns a wry expression. interesting topic but it's not like he's been much a voice for accepting what the authority in his life says. he's even encouraged itadori to consider his own figures above him and whether or not what they say is true, or merely something they want him to believe.]
I ain't gonna stop ya from doing that. Feel free to tell me once ya find out someone's leadin ya around.
[because he'll never trust someone with that kind of power or position. as far as dabi's concerned, they're all corrupt and untrustworthy. does he trust itadori? not really. on the surface, he can admit the kid's here for curiosity and perhaps some misguided attempt to understand and/or "help" him, even if he tries to disguise it under the name of "friendship" spawning between them. still...
it's a strange combination. dabi hasn't accepted his fate in one way, and yet has done exactly that in another. his salvation was forfeit long ago in exchange for his revenge and he'll viciously cling to the latter with no hope of the former because it's impossible for the two to coexist within his life. as for alternatives... well... blame society on that. (though he'd laugh if itadori ever called him a "good person" aloud.)
as the bag settles and things seem to shift from an imminent departure to a stay of leave, dabi continues regarding itadori's expression and face, nothing broken or open on his own. he remains as steely and enigmatic as ever.]
Oh yeah?
[he remembers the phone call, what itadori said in it, what he wanted. so that's still hanging around, huh. interesting. appealing and dirty aren't exactly bad ways to describe the distraction dabi is. a little bit flattering, in the sarcastic admittance. a sort of escape from itadori's normal life. that's entirely possible and he might actually be okay with it.]
Ya barely know me outside of that phone call and my video, but ya say you wanna be my friend and you like me. Sounds kinda desperate and shallow, kid. Not that I mind.
[as for the other part, dabi merely scoffs. peace versus battle between them is an easy answer.]
Don't get in my way and we won't.
[itadori knows now what he wants to do. so long as he doesn't interfere with that, dabi won't have much reason to attack him. it's not like he'll go out of his way to bother the kid either; he doesn't need whatever he's got going on interfering with his plans.]
As for that other thing... there's a bed in the other room.
no subject
Date: 8/30/21 20:14 (UTC)[ -hard to unfold. itadori had some really good friends; he's not the type to struggle with creating new alliances everywhere he goes. he's not 'alone' in that aspect. it's a lot deeper than that. it might have to do with the fact dabi is oblivious to who he truly is somehow created a sense of escape? god, he didn't know anymore. it was too draining to narrow it down.
he offers the villain a flat stare. ah, don't get in the way, and we won't have a problem— yeah, that's the uncomplicated theory of it. it still felt bothersome to be told not to react, in any given situation. chances of them crossing paths in the field are slim, true, but ... don't kill someone in front of him, you! which reminds him, he needs to come up with a scheme against those flames. you know, just in case!
the bed comment barely triggered any reaction. at first! itadori ends up following dabi's gesture, glancing toward the bedroom door, blinking, staring— it hasn't reached his brain yet. aaaaany second now.
3
2
1 ... ]
Oi!
[ yup, it's here. despite the burn in his cheeks, itadori reassured himself that man simply had a weird, lewd sense of humor. if he wished to hang out with him more, he should get used to it and not take it to heart. a sigh followed, somewhat striving to be dismissive, while still keeping his eyes on dabi. it reflects on a subtle inner struggle; swinging from being tempted to rejecting the idea. either way, the sorcerer is not hating it. he really isn't used to someone being this forward with him. ]
... You didn't even want to sit next to me a minute ago, and now you're acting like everything is okay. What's wrong with you?
[ for once, this is where dabi should be wary of him. there is no need in repeating his concerns, he trusts that man is smart enough to remember the warning during their previous phone conversation. which brings him back to the hypothesis of it being a mere joke. straightening his back, itadori parodied a serious, contemplating expression— arms folded against his chest. ]
Is this really your way of asking someone to have sex? Aren't you supposed to be smooth and charming? No flirting or sweet talk?
[ he tilts his head to the side, taking it more seriously now. ]
If things turn bad, will you still agree to meet me?
no subject
Date: 8/30/21 21:06 (UTC)and a little interesting to watch him struggle with it.
dabi has no doubts they could cross antagonistic paths. and yet, it sounds so easy to avoid doing so. the kid's already hinted about not being involved with the heroes and villains running around the society. but the secret "thing" itadori is involved with instead, the heroic nature the kid holds close to his chest, those things could very well cause friction between them if crossed. and dabi has no idea what that "thing" is. stepping on an unknown landmine trigger that makes "not my problem" turn into "getting involved" in a few seconds flat.
mah, well... he doubts he'll ever kill someone in front of itadori if this is what their interactions are going to be.
oh? no reaction? and here he thought he'd break into the flustered protests he'd been privy to on the phon-- ... never mind. the corner of his mouth quirks up in the bastard child of sneer and smirk as itadori's face blooms crimson. took a bit, but it hit. a lewd sense of humor? hardly. it's simply something the kid had brought up before and dabi found intriguing enough to needle him with. taunting people comes easy to him. doesn't believe the dismissive exhale, but he lets him get away with ducking the issue. mostly because he knows itadori's going to be thinking of it for a while.]
Oy, oy. Nothin's "wrong" with me. [the way he says it, however, implies he's well aware the opposite is very much true. there's so much "wrong" with him according to the society in which they live.] Hn, weren't ya the one who said you wanted to try it?
[towards the end of the phone call. oh he's wary of itadori. never once has he relaxes his internal guard around the kid. food and company albeit, he's still a potential threat. yeah, dabi remembers what he said about a quirk-like ability running out of control if he gets distracted enough. but he also figured itadori's a fighter. and if you can fight and still keep in control, sex can operate very similarly. besides, this kid's certainly jerked off before and no one's died from it. right?
dabi leans back to his previous perch by the table, regarding the other guy's cross-armed stance as much a bluff as it obviously is.]
This ain't that kinda porno, kid. [while he certainly can be charming and smooth, he has to want to be. and 99/100, he's not with someone he wants to be that with.] Ya think I'll dump ya cause you're bad at sex?
[the villain's eyes shift towards him, head tilting to give him a look that's curious, predatory, threatening, and intrigued. there's no fear anywhere.]
or cause you'll try to rip my throat out?
no subject
Date: 8/31/21 20:15 (UTC)[ fun fact: he stopped jerking off the second he started sharing a body with something as taunting as sukuna. the never-ending jokes and bullying he will endure if he allowed that curse to witness such an intimate moment. in his mind, it was different if he's experiencing it with someone. less shameful? regardless, it's not like itadori is self-conscious about it. it's more of him finding it difficult to have a boner knowing his audience is sukuna. yup.
itadori squints, groaning afterward as he muttered 'stop calling me a kid' under his breath; finding it condescending. as for being terrible in bed? well, duh. he'll own up to it. he has never done it before, zero experience outside of what you see in the movies, and pretending to be a sex expert is not an option. itadori wouldn't start such rumors. if dabi is expecting a mind-blowing orgasm, that won't happen. which begs the question — why is the villain entertaining this? not only the offer is bad sex; it's also potential risk. how is that erotic in any way?
their chitchat grasps an abrupt turn, taken back by those words. his expression slipped a little on the edges, lips pressed together. this could be the first time itadori is genuinely provoked. his hand settled on the coffee table again, tapping the tip of his index finger against the wooden surface; it's hasty at first, and it slows down as his mind centered on an answer. or, in this case, another question. ]
Are you really open to this?
[ what's the point of a debate if this is nothing more than a joke. itadori can't tell between honest curiosity or teasing when it comes to that man. it's pointless to express himself if it is not taken to heart, hence he didn't bother. the displeasure on his face is unwavering, flexing his fingers, so they can cradle his cheek as he rests his head, elbow propped in support. ]
Besides, you give a vibe of someone who's selfish in bed. Am I wrong?
[ would dabi really go slow with a first timer? allow itadori the chance to explore what felt good and what didn't? is he going to be gentle or rush? it requires patience he's pretty sure dabi will refuse to offer. attraction aside, which the villain is really enticing, in spite of those scars— that's not enough to make it a good experience. ]
You don't even trust me with a kiss. Would you even allow me to touch you? Brush my fingers over your throat ...
[ what? it could happen unintentionally. in the heat of the moment. ]
no subject
Date: 8/31/21 20:49 (UTC)[he can't deny it. growing up led to some experimenting as well. before his untimely "death" and all. then those childhood experiments went straight into the darkness, turning into another tool for survival, manipulation, or killing boredom. dabi's still completely in the dark regarding itadori's hangups about sex, though he's wondering if it's something like shigaraki's. before his "leader" managed to get more control of his quirk, if all five of his fingers touched something, the decay would start. not a fun thing to deal with when having sex. considering itadori hasn't fucked anything up from touch yet, dabi's guessing it's something else. maybe internal? concentration? remote?
tough shit. still calling him a "kid" because he is. though he might graduate to "guy" after another meeting or two. doesn't help that itadori's the same age as those u.a. kids dabi's contended with a few times already. that said, doesn't look like the other guy's (see?) going to defend himself against the suggested accusation he's gonna be bad in bed. of course he is; he's probably dealing with a fucking virgin over here. who may or may not touch himself at night. psh, still a "kid", greenhorn.
so no, he's not expecting any mind-blowing sex or even remotely good sex. hell... it's sex. he's had good, bad, painful, risky, boring, weird, dangerous sex before. itadori's not going to show him anything different. there's nothing "erotic" or "romantic" about it. sex is an action, feels good (most of the time), and best of all, for a little while during, you stop fucking thinking. about anything. that makes it addictive.
itadori goes serious and dabi knows he's struck a nerve. that's fucking rich. talk of villainy and death gets a smile and dodge, but bring up sex and suddenly there's a problem. priorities, itadori. so he provoked him. good. about time he lost that eternal smile.]
Second time I've brought it up to ya. Don't care if ya say yes or no. Won't matter to me in the end.
[one, it's not a joke. he's offering. two, it's not serious. despite the illogical contradiction, dabi's shown more caution to someone cooking for him and sitting behind him talking friendship than he's showing the offer of fucking. or, it could very well be itadori's proven himself at least somewhat trustworthy. enough to toss this on the proverbial table.
the answer he gets, in the form of some questions, however, earns a brief crack of a grin at the side of his mouth. quick, sarcastic, and amused, but it's not a negative response. so that's what he's worried about? granted, dabi can be extremely selfish in bed. take what he wants and leave as soon as he's done, screw what his partner feels about it. but that's a choice, not a practice.
he settles his jaw on his hand, elbow propped on the table as he regards yuji with a curious gaze.]
Why dontcha try to kiss me now?
[there's a brief flicker of blue flame of the side of his lips. itadori mentioned dabi doesn't trust him, but the villain's using that little flash of his quirk to suggest itadori doesn't trust him either. though he's welcome to prove him wrong...]
If I'm selfish, it's cause I wanna be.
[turquoise eyes narrow at him, taking a slightly more serious tone to that notion of fingers on his throat.] So long as ya don't try to kill me... [he lets that hover as the main stipulation. if it's just sex, it's just sex.]
You top. You call the shots. I got all night.
no subject
Date: 9/1/21 20:02 (UTC)at this point, itadori is certain words won't reach him. they will end up going back and forth, even when he expressed that he's not keen on the idea. dabi going as far as taunting him for a kiss is— shocking. but, what urged itadori's breath to stutter is the bold offer to make him take the lead. him? this virgin who never been touched before? get on top and fucking lead?
for real?
it's pretty evident dabi is looking at him as this desperate kid waiting to get his dick sucked. it's just insulting in so many ways. did he expect him to roll on his back and start wagging his tail happily? itadori didn't even notice the way he chewed on his lower lip, fingers curling into tight fists, for a brief moment, before flexing again. ]
You're used to taking advantage of people and have people treat you the same. That's why I don't think you'd object if I asked for it from our first conversation. I didn't need to make you the meal you wanted. Or, try to reassure you that I don't want to be your enemy. I'd be straightforward, get what I want, and never speak to you again. And you wouldn't mind. That's how you like it.
[ despite his words, itadori kept an easy tone. it was not deliberate to make it sound so intimate, but it was how he felt about the whole thing. truth is, he wouldn't mind a kiss. it's a soft display of goodwill, one that's not exclusive to romantic couples— or that's what itadori conceived. every time he gets a sense of being closer to that man, warm up to him, the sorcerer gets burned and pushed back again. dabi just knew how to get to him, without him fucking knowing anything about his situation.
it's terrifying— the thought of what he could do if he did. it's probably why sukuna is feeding on his toxic energy. what a show, indeed. ]
Fine, I'll kiss you.
[ there's a pause, he then grabbed the bag and pushed himself up to his feet. he stares the other down before he shrugged his shoulders. ]
I'll even fuck you. Since you gave me permission to try it out on you, right? Since you're cocky and stupidly confident, you'll be fine. I'll do it all ... when you stop acting like an asshole.
[ it can't be that hard. ]
You can do it. I've just seen it. A few moments ago. You were thankful for the homemade meal, right?
no subject
Date: 9/1/21 23:10 (UTC)and a smirk would depend on how he dies... still, yeah, he's crazy enough to have a go at this oddity. kissing, fucking, stripping, whatever. itadori's proven at least somewhat trustful thanks to that meal and the lack of any cops busting through the walls. if the thing he's worried about is truly such a threat, itadori never would've let himself get that close to dabi or anyone else. some of it's curiosity on the villain's part. he'd rather not stake his life on the line for indulging in this particular fun, but... well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
itadori's stuttered breath and gape when he pitches that offer of the reins keeps the entertainment going. this night's shaping up to be interesting... please, it's not like he's scared of some kid fumbling his way through sex with him. what's the worst that could happen?
earlier on, yeah, he called his attempts at getting closer shallow and desperate. now, some of that opinion has laxed a bit. not so much desperate as relieved and surprised at getting a chance to do something he's wanted to do. his opinion on itadori's improved... a little. even if dabi still has no trouble insulting him. he insults the other league members and he's known them for months now.]
Got me all figured out, huh. [that little analysis is pretty bang on. he'd been getting ready to strip in front of the phone their first conversation, after all.] But ya woulda done those things regardless, because it's more important to ya to make a friend, have people feel comfortable around ya, and protect them, than it is to find a fuck buddy. Ain't that right?
[while dabi's fine with making no connections, itadori's the kind to want a bond with others. without parents, it's not hard to see why. someone like that would want to make friends. true, he may not know much about the kid's straights, but he's insightful enough to understand some aspects about him, based on all they've talked about and what he's seen from him.]
Hm?
[okay, for a second that throws him for a loop. agreeing to kiss him and then abruptly standing up like he's getting ready to walk out the door? dabi glances up at him, not bothering to stand just yet. but then that ultimatum comes and a small huff leaves his half-charred lips. amused? annoyed? intrigued? hard to tell, but he presses one hand to the table and pushes himself up to his feet with an easy motion. despite the intimidating air dabi gives off, he's only 3cm taller than itadori.]
Hey now. Ya backin me into a corner here. [turquoise eyes fix on the topaz once more.]
Puttin it that way makes it seem like ya gonna assume I'm bein an asshole cause I'm nice. [he doesn't sound very bent about it and steps forward, moving into itadori's space until they're almost front to front.]
I could kiss ya right now, and you'd think I'm just tryin to manipulate ya into gettin what I want. [granted, he's not attacked itadori yet. only been evasive in the conversation and mocked him occasionally about his anxieties. would that count as "nice" to some people? probably not.
all that said, however... dabi does lean in, enough the heat off his lips is brushing over itadori's skin like a hand passing close to a candle. eyes still arrested on the kids, his voice rings sincere.] I ain't changin myself for you. But thanks for the food.
[and dealing with him.]
no subject
Date: 9/2/21 20:36 (UTC)itadori expected some opposition to his ultimatum, considering what he's asking for, but held his ground and kept his eyes on the other as he inched closer; attentive. it's only when he heard the word 'thanks'— the intensity behind his gaze eased. a sigh of relief followed, shoulders relaxing. ]
You're welcome.
[ a moment later, one of his hands slipped forward, fingers hooking into one of dabi's belt loops to draw him even closer, bodies pressed together. for someone who was on edge around him— it was somewhat intriguing to watch the other loosen up a little. it's about time. his other hand released the bag as it fell down to the ground in a loud thud; a nudge of his foot pushed it aside so it wouldn't get in their way. a deep breath; itadori is still a bit restless, but no longer crippled with fear. if he dares to admit ... he's actually excited? once his mind is resolved over the idea of having the freedom to do what he wants— this kind of control can be addicting.
he brought his hand up so he could smooth over a disfigured cheek, taking a moment to feel the coarse texture before lightly angling the other man's jaw up to him with a crook of his fingertips; admiring such unique features up close. his gaze shifts lower and on those lips, he then leans in without a hint of reluctance. the kiss is gentle, slow, and experimental. it was hard to avoid the cool touch of a piercing or two, but it didn't pester itadori at all.
the first kiss didn't linger. he breaks it off soon after, blinking at dabi as if he expected to be pushed away? no? okay since that's not the case, the next one had more spark into it; lips parted slightly. he tilts his head, enjoying the warmth spreading from dabi's body. if he thought that was a turnoff, it isn't. it was more welcoming.
but— just to be safe.]
... Keep it cool.
[ he muttered without breaking off the kiss, fingers working on stripping dabi off that jacket, allowing the heavy fabric to drop down to the floor. ]
no subject
Date: 9/2/21 21:33 (UTC)there's a politeness that comes from training, respect, obedience. and then there's a politeness that is knowledge only and soaked in sarcasm. dabi toes the line between them. refusing to become a nice guy, but at least showing some shred of the few still raw parts of his person enough to offer sincere gratitude. quick, here and there, obviously not something he wants to dwell on, but it's there.
for a moment, when itadori's shoulders relax and that quiet "you're welcome" comes through, a flicker of something... something... wanders across dabi's face. surprise? curiosity? maybe a tiny bit touched? a little rouse of humanity within him that feels a sliver of "better" with his thanks accepted.
but it's when one hand moves forward and there's a hook-and-tug in his beltloop that really seems to tell him this is happening. for a moment, the razor's edge of decision kept them both tense, unsure and cautious. now there's no going back. and that's fine with him.
dabi steps forward, one boot landing beside itadori's sneaker
what's with you and deku and fucking red shoesas he goes past personal space and into physical contact. there's a press of body warmth far different than his own, and a much more solid figure than he'd have thought under those clothes. chest to chest, stomachs grazing, a husk of belt buckle on cloth, knees and legs touching, contact all at once. the "thud" beside him doesn't bother dabi in the slightest, attention and eyes more focused on itadori in front of him. he can almost feel his excitement. it's... kind of catching.turquoise eyes drop to the kid's mouth, noting the scar on the side of his lip, the harsh slice between his eyes. battle scars. the fact there's no flinching from itadori as he couches his burned flesh silently gives him more points. dabi lets his head turn as fingers encourage him to lift and tilt, exposing the wrinkled, purple scorch covering the lower half of his head and neck. his composure remains as cool as ever, though there's a question brewing inside even as itadori lowers his hand and leans in.
no hesitation. dabi allows him to kiss him. three sensations immediately: the smooth of his upper lip, the gnarled surface of the lower, and the metal staple cool and unforgiving. conversely, dabi only really feels the warmth and softness of itadori's lips on his upper one. it's mostly just numb pressure on the lower, requiring something harder to reach the nerves under his damaged skin. but his lips feel nice... when's the last time he's been kissed gently? without fear, with interest beyond take and go.
the kiss breaks and dabi's breath carries from his lips to itadori's. he doesn't push him away, though does turn his hand lazily uncurls his fingers close enough to the kid's unused hand that their fingers brush together almost "accidentally" on purpose. a second kiss, a little firmer, and he feels it more. this time, dabi returns it, a light nudge of his head forward to give itadori something back.
all right... now he's interested.]
That was lame. ["keep it cool". so punny. but his voice lacks the bite from before and dabi lifts his shoulders as itadori pushes the coat off his upper body. heavy leather and metal cuffs sink onto the floor with a rush of material and two muffled 'thuds' as the clothing hits the deck. a threadbare white t-shirt hangs on his upper body and that's when dabi finally reaches a certain point.
for the first time, he's the one to catch itadori by the wrist and stop him, looking into his eyes with an unreadable expression. but the question on his lips holds weight from... a lot of thoughts.]
Ya really okay with this? Wastin ya "firsts" on this?
["this" meaning a scar-covered, sociopath villain who wouldn't push itadori out of the way of a bus if he saw it coming a mile away and doing it here in a dirty abandoned cabin in the middle of a small, old woods.]
no subject
Date: 9/3/21 20:10 (UTC)however, this is their unfortunate fate, whenever the sorcerer got too close to comfort, dabi would push him away. this time it was more evident, leaving no room for speculations, or 'maybe I'm imagining it' — it's as real as those bruised fingers around his wrist.
startled, itadori is quick to raise his free hand up, taking a step back while muttering 'sorry!'. the initial thought is: he must've done something wrong, and whatever it was, dabi didn't appreciate it. mild panic takes over, staring and trying to read those subtle doubts behind an expression so unfamiliar to him. he parts his lips, close to asking what's wrong, only to be interjected by an odd question.
is he really okay with this? ... wasting his firsts?
he allows himself a second to breathe, let it sink in, and with a soft sigh— he shakes his head. he has no intention to lie to dabi, and he won't start right now. there's a hint of remorse in his tone, but it wasn't directed at the man before him. no pity either. no, it was more of itadori skipping a few steps and embracing vulnerability so early on. ]
Well ... I'm not okay we're doing it here? The place is kinda nasty, but- [ he shrugged with a lighthearted chuckle. ]- it's the best we can do? It's not like I can take you back to my room, or ask you to rent a nicer place? Your face is all over the news.
[ there's a pause, tentative perhaps, he then decided to lean forward, so he could brush the back of his fingers against dabi's cheek. the following confession might not be too easy to say, but— again, he is committed to be honest. itadori planned to repress it at first and wake up tomorrow feeling like shit. however, with this given opportunity- ]
I want you. It's not a waste of my 'firsts'. But I kinda hate myself for basically confessing that I'm using you right now, which I am. I feel shitty about it. Ah, I guess that's lowkey ruining my 'firsts' ...
[ he knows. he knows dabi is not into the 'good guy' bullshit, and he knows he will insist it's normal to share a bed with a stranger, to be used like that— sex is sex! it means nothing. he knows the mockery that will slip out of his mouth in any second now, but he asked and itadori answered. straightforward, without tiptoeing around it or offer sympathetic lies. it did feel wrong in the end. a part of him knew dabi will walk out of this with a smirk on his face, reassuring himself this kid wanted nothing more than a quick fuck, like everyone else. point proven. let's add itadori to the fucking list. even when that's the image in his head, even when he's feeling so terrible ... the sorcerer is still going for it.
it screams hypocrisy, doesn't it? ]
We don't ... have to do anything extreme. You stopped me for a reason, and I respect it. I'll never force you into something you're not into. But, umm ...
[ god, how can he say this? how can he explain himself? while contemplating, his fingers trace lower, along the curve of dabi's neck, down to his chest, so reverently that he seemed almost scared of risking a full-palmed touch; as if he's not allowed that privilege anymore. ]
... Can we do something else? Being intimate doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, right?
[ honestly, dabi is allowed to call him desperate now. he won't be mad, nor would he care. ]
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Date: 9/3/21 21:06 (UTC)a chance to walk away and save himself. dabi has no doubts about what he is, who he is, and yes, he does see itadori as a curious virgin with a somewhat-desperate interest in getting it on with someone new and exciting, and even a little dangerous, as some sort of escape from whatever shackles him from exploring sexually in his own life. for that reason as well, he wants the kid to understand exactly what he's getting into. to sacrifice his firsts with him... it's about itadori's comfort.
and he can't think clearly if he's touching him, hence the catch at his wrist and a momentary break in their connection. look at him, look at the mess he is, and make sure, really make sure, he wants to go forward with this. dabi's taunted him, tempted him, played him, and drawn him, yet after all of that, he wants to give him one last out. even as itadori steps backwards, the villain refuses to let his arm go, preventing him from pulling away or tugging free. the connection is still there, apology ignored because he did nothing wrong.
waiting for a few seconds as he watches itadori try to think about it himself. before getting the answer he could've guessed already. dabi's grip on his wrist slowly laxes. didn't think so. sex means something for itadori. it's not some throwaway action two people can drop into, engage in, and walk away from without thinking a shit about it. it's important to the kid. on the one hand, corrupting him like that would've been fun. on the other...
wait... here? dabi blinks once, a flicker of surprise and wry confusion crossing his face. it's the location that's bugging itadori?]
Ya serious? [kind of all he can ask at the moment. he'd been gearing up to let him go and put an end to the entire venture. apparently that's not going to happen immediately?] Che... what, ya wanna break into a department store and fuck on the display bed? [a beat before he muses another option.] Could always find a motel... they don't give a fuck.
[what a cliche, but it'd be better than a cabin in the woods. dabi's broken from his thoughts when a hand wanders across his cheek again. the confession that follows, however, hits in that somewhat bruised area where itadori's been punching so often tonight. saying he actually likes him enough to stubbornly continue to profess wanting him. dabi's eyes narrow a little when he says it's not a "waste" to be with him, though it's more out of consideration than deflection.]
Idiot. Ya shouldn't feel like shit about this. [
dabi should, the sleaze, except he doesn't.as a hand slides down his chest, fingers tentatively checking to see if it's okay to touch, he's left thinking about this guy and what he's trying to do here. sex is sex, yeah. his mind goes exactly where itadori's suspecting it'd go.] If ya wanna save this for someone or somethin more "romantic" that ya care about, then ya really are an idiot for wantin to do it with me.[he doesn't sound disappointed or angry. maybe lance of sarcasm through his voice in a way that suggests the underlying "told ya so" sentiment. yet itadori's not lying to him; he's behind honest and vulnerable and slight as it is, dabi's acknowledging that. protect me from what i want is an adage that could apply here. ironic that the villain would be the one to hypocritically consider 'protecting' this naive hero from his own confused, horny self.
truth be told, it'd be so much easier if itadori wanted nothing more than a quick fuck. and they wouldn't have stopped if dabi figured that's all the young sorcerer wanted. what moved his hand is the understanding that itadori did want something more than a quick fuck. this guy treated the villain like a human. so consider this a way to treat him like a human---and not a piece of meat---in return.]
Ya ain't forcin anythin on me. [his eyes still hang on itadori's, refusing to break the tether between them.] I stopped ya cause I ain't someone ya should be regrettin your choice over.
[his chest is as warm (hot) as the rest of him, though whereas itadori has the athletic muscle of someone who regularly works out with healthy food and supplements, dabi's defined pectorals and torso hold tight to his bones, developed from years surviving on the streets. a rope versus a wire. he can almost feel the desperation itadori's exuding, wanting badly to avoid leaving despite his misgivings and disappointments. for a few more seconds, dabi regards him, balancing between two options.
then breaks it with a sigh.]
How long ya got? Cause if ya really determined and this shithole bothers ya, I know a motel near here.
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Date: 9/4/21 19:10 (UTC)[ 'good guy' syndrome aside, itadori isn't conscious of the significance of the first sexual experience. movie society urged him to believe it was important, some nonsense about it being memorable and all— but is it really? it seemed a bit of an exaggeration, even when the idea of sharing this moment with a loved one is more appealing, it isn't so awful to try it out with a stranger either. it's less pressure. you know? in case he fucks up? it would be more embarrassing if it's with someone he's keen on impressing.
he raised an eyebrow, tipping his head to the side. ]
But you're helping me get better at it! My future partner will appreciate it more. Think of it as practical sex education!
[ what a lovely way of reminding dabi, once more, he's being used. he then scoffed, an easy smile paints his lips again. in all honesty, he understood why dabi is offering him one last chance to run out of the door, and in the privacy of his own mind, he has to admit it's ... sweet, in its own way. a psychotic murderer who hasn't forgotten to be human once in a while. it meant something to itadori, and he did consider what he's saying, subtly agreeing that he had a point. then again, time is not on his side. it's foolish to be holding out for a magical moment that might never come, with death knocking on his door whenever he steps out, unsure if he will make it back to the safety of his bedroom— can he really afford delaying it?
dabi didn't need to hear that, and he didn't want to bring up an issue so disheartening. instead, he will focus on the man before him; what an intriguing distraction he can be. since he made sure dabi isn't uncomfortable with his approach, itadori reckoned he's allowed to close the gap between them by taking another step; the pressure of his hands drew dabi's body up against his, the heat of his breath curled along the other man's ear as he whispered. ]
... We good? Anything else?
[ — not that he'd let the villain say another word, already kissing him again. still committed on keeping it slow, yet not as tender this time. almost as if he wanted to bury any other doubts they might have, unwilling to be pushed away anymore. there is a limit to the teasing itadori can handle in one night, and they have reassured each other enough. however, he didn't forget about the offer to change scenery, and while a motel is not the image of a clean environment, it is still better than this! he considers it, humming softly against dabi's lips.
soon after, he breaks it off- ]
Okay! Lead the way!
[ who is he to deny such a kind gesture? let's add it as a perk in this new adventure. it's hard to mask how exciting this is, and itadori didn't even bother to do so. ]
You sure you'll be safe? If it's a risk, it's not worth it. I don't mind a little dust. Might sneeze on you by accident, but that's not a big deal.
[ speak for yourself! gross. ]
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Date: 9/7/21 04:48 (UTC)[maybe. there's a bit of thoughtful deliberation in those two words. a few moments ago, he would've answered that with a firm affirmative, but itadori's naivety in sexual experiences and his strange but honest interest in dabi are shaping the opportunity into something the guy might not really regret later on in life. all of that's laid out plainly when the kid starts talking about it being a learning experience and dabi actually breaks a wry grin up towards one scarred corner of his mouth. seriously, when he puts it that way, it's like he's doing the guy a favor by helping him practice.]
Hn. That's one way to look at it. [what a fucking ball of optimism. why is this sunshine down here in the ugly muck with the rest of filth?] All right. Guess it won't kill me to help ya practice.
[dabi's used to being used, as he's made obvious before. but at the same time, he's at a position in his life now where he doesn't do anything he doesn't really want to do. the fact he's stayed this long in the cabin and continues to carry on the conversation, entertain the idea, suggests he's not adverse to doing this either. he'd be far more pissed if itadori betrays him to the cops than has sex with him. the former would erode any sense of cautious interest between them; the latter ironically makes it easier for dabi to agree to another meeting.
don't call him "sweet", dammit.
as if the villain would consider the reality of risking death at every step out the door something disheartening; it's a fucking fact of life. he's not so positive to think he'll be guaranteed tomorrow, and he has no delusions over the two ends to his life in his future. still, itadori's proving to be an interesting distraction in his own right and dabi's finding himself... curious about him. what really's driving this kid to reach for him so much.
it's one of the reasons he answers to the physical draw as itadori steps up against him. pressing their bodies together, hands drawing him close, and a low hum drifting past his lips when the other guy's breath ghosts past his ear. the trio of silver hoops reflect itadori's mouth and dabi flicks his eyes to the side, more hearing his breath rather than feeling it on his charred flesh.]
We-- mph.
[so much for answering him. lips press to his own and this time, the villain returns it with a more interested firmness. he answers to his speed, not forcing anything hard against his mouth but rather attempting to mirror the pressure itadori's pressing to his lips. any other protests or deflects go up in flames and the ashes blow away. they're doing this.
dabi traces his tongue over his lips when itadori breaks the kiss and he uncurls his fingers again, flicking his nails across the guy's fingertips. figures he'd accept that offer to change scenery. the excitement over there is amusing. like a little kid ready to go on an adventure.]
Don't start worryin bout my safety. Ya won't sleep well if ya do.
[the words are less biting than normal, more teasing caution than anything else. worrying about dabi's safety when he's out here fighting heroes wanting to imprison him is just asking for sleepless nights in itadori's bed. not the kind of effort he feels the guy should waste on him.
leaving itadori to scoop up his bag, dabi heads out of the cabin, not even bothering to shut the door behind him. for obvious reasons, he doesn't opt to talk and keeps his silence even if itadori wants to chat. skulking through the shadows and keeping to the darker parts of the park gets them across the area and to the surrounding streets. from there, it's only a few alleys to cut through before they end up a few blocks away from the park. a motel sits nestled amid some old woods, ass shoved up against the old fence.
still, the woman at the counter doesn't even bat an eye when dabi and itadori walk in. she merely takes the cash the villain palms onto the countertop and slides the key across to him. with that, they're left to their own devices, no question for name or anything else. dabi leads the younger man across the faded maroon carpet, ignoring the dingy wallpaper as they finally stop in front of a door at the end of the building. key in the door, it swings open, and a simple room greets them.
one medium-sized bed, a small couch, two chairs and a little table, ac unit under the curtained window, and two lamps in the corners of the room on the diagonal. a single-sink bathroom sports a shower the size of a telephone booth, but it's still usable if two people don't mind squeezing together. despite the age and simplicity, the room's been cleaned and taken care of.]
How boucha not sneeze in my face? [dabi tosses the key to the table and faces itadori.] Welcome to sex ed.
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Date: 9/7/21 20:06 (UTC)the walk had little to no exchange of words from either side; itadori would often glance at random directions, seemingly eyeing 'something' that is nonexistent. wherever dabi is leading him had all the classic signs of low inhabitants. it's that shady part of the city, one where you can spot a low-grade curse lurking around, not really harming anyone but hints to the type of energy this area allures. it didn't kill his anticipation, watchful as the lady behind the counter paid no attention to what stood in front of her: a) a well-known wanted criminal, and b) a teenager. all signs point to 'what the fuck?' and yet the exchange ended with no concerns, and they find each other in their new, private room. ]
... We could've had our dinner here.
[ instead of that shitty cabin. no, it's never too late to be offended that a motel was an option from the beginning. he threw the empty bag on the couch, turning on his feet so he could regard the other; under a proper light, dabi looked a bit different. everything is a lot more clear now, down to those small details in his unique features. he takes in a breath, fingers flexing on each side before he reached over to hold dabi's wrist; tugging him forward. ]
I am expecting you to give me some guidance, you know.
[ is he going to start treating this like an actual class? hell yes.
he then slipped his hands down along the other's waist, hands complying to the contours of dabi's body beneath his shirt, while the thin fabric rucked up around itadori's wrists, exposing more of the uneven patch of healthy/burned skin. there is no sense of urgency in his approach; in a way that reflects raw curiosity to being able to touch someone without any reserves. his gaze follows his own hands, attentive as he strips him off that shirt, getting rid of it. when he noticed the belt, he couldn't help but to huff-
way too many things to undress.
he disregards it, for now, settling on grabbing the other by the hips, supporting his body and weight for the few steps it took to the bed. he didn't stop, not until dabi's back was pressed flush against the mattress, and he could cant his hips for a bit of friction where their bodies met. that alone made his cheeks burn up a bit, and now he felt it's appropriate to ask. ]
Are you sure about the whole ... letting me top on my first time?
[ isn't he supposed to focus on repressing a certain something? ]
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Date: 9/7/21 21:03 (UTC)still, the fact itadori wants to stick with him, even for sex and meals, without trying to capture him or talk him into changing his mind, gives the other boy some advantage. he's a stranger and dabi doesn't much trust him, but he's certainly not acting like other heroes or villains he's encountered. he's never had a "neutral ground" person in his life of villainy before. it's... odd. already he knows itadori's not going to be a one-night stand, never to be heard from again; the kid's too stubborn and kind.
and weird. dabi doesn't miss noticing the way itadori's attention seems to wander. it's not the gaze of someone sightseeing. this guy's looking for something. keeping watch. not in the way that's looking to give a cue to someone in the wing either. it has to be connected to that mysterious "thing" itadori does for a living. admittedly, dabi's curious about it, especially since the kid's been tight-lipped on the topic. someday, he's gonna find out.]
Ya didn't think I'd trust ya that fast, didja?
[the cabin and the woods, as itadori correctly surmised, gave dabi the advantage in case of a fight or ambush. goes without saying he wasn't about to surrender that during a first-time meeting. as itadori looks at him, the villain is less guarded about taking in the other young man. those marks under his eyes, the double tone of his under-cropped hair, angle of his jaw, an attractive face even with the two scars. while the walls of his fortress haven't come down, dabi's at least come to the rampart to look over their proverbial edges. he steps forward when pulled by the wrist, moving back into itadori's space.]
On the right path.
[he has no real problem giving some instructions about sex. dabi lifts his arms a little, giving itadori more access to his waist. trim and athletic, but still owing most of that to rough living. not much of a pillow queen (when he doesn't feel like it), he settles for wandering one hand over itadori's shoulder, bunching at his jacket and getting a feel for his sculpture beneath. it's not surprising the kid's solid under his clothes. once again dabi's coat hits the floor in a crumple of leather and metal, soon after followed by the threadbare shirt and itadori's jacket.
even though he bared his upper half for his video and already made to strip it off in front of itadori during their first phone call, it's still the first time the kid gets to see everything up close and personal, for his eyes and his fingers. dabi fails to get to the kid's shirt before he's caught at the hips and pulled in. a strange sort of dragging waltz backwards through the room before the world tilts and he's pushed onto the bed, knees catching the edge of the mattress and his back landing on the cover with a lazy bounce. hips press to hips and dabi arches up into it with a low exhale, one bare arm winding around itadori's neck to pull him down close to him. fingers curl at the side of his neck, grazing the blunt edges of his nails at his throat and jaw as his thumb played over the flush on his cheek and the little mark under his eye.]
Yeah. It's easier for first timer's to top. Helps them feel like they're more in control.
[plus a lot of guys hear "take it up the ass" and instantly cringe over the pain before wavering on their confidence. besides, it's hard to learn something when you don't feel like you're in control. as for suppressing something... well... dabi hasn't burned himself up during an orgasm yet. and if itadori's concerned about suppressing his own "endanger my partners" thing during sex, dabi's not lost the ability to spontaneously combust beneath him.]
Ya wanna keep up the foreplay or jump right into it?
[dabi drags his hand down itadori's back, raking between his shoulder blades and then slowly fisting his hand in the middle of his back to bunch his shirt up one inch at a time from his waist.]
no subject
Date: 9/8/21 19:24 (UTC)it's strange, considering how they are more comfortable with each other for a while now, but this comes off as the first time dabi actually— touched him? as gentle as it was, from the weight of that arm against his neck, the graze of fingertips over his throat and cheekbone; being pulled close. it's the type of intimacy itadori craved for. simply sharing space, indulging in a conversation, guard dropped. with a soft sigh, he allows himself to be subdued by it, unaware of the way dabi's thumb brushed over the 'tattoo' under each eye. a few things the villain might pick up on: the skin is abnormal, in a sense it had a distinctive texture, more delicate(?), and there is a very faint movement under his touch. alas, it's nothing that would unnerve someone coming from a society full of different quirks. itadori had seen people with colorful skin tones, multiple arms and legs, horns on their heads and all kinds of flavors of diversity, shapes and sizes. this minor detail is not so striking, is it? ]
Ah, well ... that does help. Being in control.
[ no complaining here. he hates to do it, to pull away from the warmth of dabi's body against his own, but he picks up on the little gesture and attends to get rid of his shirt. the contrast in their built spoke in volumes about the way their powers/quirks are used, clashing with dabi's, it's clear itadori is more of a close-range type. there are some bruises over his chest and abdomen, here and there, some seemed a few days old, healing, while others hint on as early as this morning. ]
I'm not sure if it's considered foreplay ... but- ...
[ despite his words, his expression turns rather demure; voice softens with a sly smirk of his own. "Don't rush", he told himself, inside the confines of his own mind— though he wanted desperately to do nothing else. his fingers brush along the curve of dabi's waist, perceptive in its nature, then finally works on unhooking his belt. itadori takes a moment to relish the view as two forefingers hooked through the hem of those pants/briefs, tugging the waistband lower, somewhat urging dabi to lift his hips before he dragged it all the way to his ankles. his hand then, gently, brush over the smooth skin of his inner thighs, spreading his legs apart ...
he wants this man to feel good, desired— this can't be a one-sided affair. or, maybe itadori is doing this for himself. in an odd way, this is the first thing he fantasized on doing the second dabi teased the thought of them fucking around, the image on the screen when the villain teased on stripping on the spot never left his mind for days. his eyes dared to catch dabi's, and that alone stirs something from within that is so unfamiliar. an uncomfortable warmth that is less innocent and more fervent.
it was why he parted his lips around the other man's cock, relaxing his throat so that he leaned in, the tight ring of his lips sliding slowly down the girth of dabi's prick. careful yet not timid, lashes low against his flustered cheekbones, and he muffles a moan against the hot flesh in his mouth. ]
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From:yeah so the notif for this never came through. sorry for the delay!
From:it's okay! <3
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From:*cracks knuckles* and now i've finished binging jjk ~ thanks for enabling me
From:omg I'm glad you enjoyed it! <33
From:it was good~
From:yay ;u;
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